Stubborn is Not Sexy
I got called out on one of my issues in dating. I can be stubborn! I think all of us can be stubborn in a way. For me, when I am feeling particularly hurt or upset, I go into isolation mode and push people away.
This is something that I have only recently admitted to doing so that when the person I am dating sees me behave strangely, they can know what to do. Hopefully, that won’t include running for the hills!
It is hard asking for help when you are used to handling things on your own. A lot of us single people get really comfortable with the self-reliance and self-sufficient behavior. The important thing to remember is that it can come across as self-absorbed. Self-absorbed and stubborn is so not sexy, believe me.
Do you have a problem with being stubborn? Does the concept of compromise get totally lost on you? When are you going to stop being so stubborn? How are you changing this?
Have you ever dated someone who was pig-headed and stubborn? How did you handle it?
Do you think stubborn people are doomed to be alone or is there a way to make a breakthrough?
accessAtlanta Partner Sites
Sections
Advertise on accessAtlanta.com »
Reach the audience you want by advertising on accessAtlanta.com
Join the Access Atlanta Network »
Advertisers and Publishers, expand your reach by joining the Access Atlanta Network.
Tell us what you think about the site
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement | About our ads
© 2010 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
211 comments Add your comment
Professor
October 19th, 2009
8:48 am
Happy Monday!
Well Wise, please join the club I am the same way.
Professor
October 19th, 2009
9:00 am
Do you have a problem with being stubborn?
Yes!
Does the concept of compromise get totally lost on you? Not really it just takes me longer to comprise and share…hell I am spoiled blame my parents.
When are you going to stop being so stubborn? Probably never, but I am working on being less stubborn.
How are you changing this?
I am changing this by looking at my actions honestly and going from there. Maybe that means apologizing or compromising more.
Do you think stubborn people are doomed to be alone or is there a way to make a breakthrough?
No we are not doomed to be alone we need someone that have the patience to deal with us as we become more compromising.
CNN
October 19th, 2009
9:07 am
GM Atlanta
I can be stubborn at times. I am working hard to change though. I am the oldest of my siblings so I am used to people relying on me. So for me to rely on others sometimes it makes me feel weak even if I should.
I can be especially stubborn when I have something set in my mind to do and the person I am dating wont go along with me. I get this My way or the highway mentality. However I am working to change I know you have to be flexible in a relationship.
Hopeless Romantic
October 19th, 2009
9:29 am
Post divorce I have learned to quickly pick my battles. Stubborness occurs when I won’t let go of a very specific outcome that I believe will make me happy. At the end of the day, I am responsible for my own happieness.
Since I am an uber reliable person, when I am dating someone, I communicate that I expect to have a reliable partner: someone who does what they say will do. Of course there are exceptions, and life happens, so I”m not expecting a perfect person. But if I am feeling stressed because of someone else’s ongoing drama, aka, they can’t get their $**t together, then go figure it out. Or don’t make promises that you cannot or will not keep.
czBrat
October 19th, 2009
9:41 am
GM ALL
WOW! Talk about great timing on this subject, Wise. Yes. I’ve been divorced for quite some time and I’m set in my ways. I’m independent by circumstance, not necessarily by choice. This has been a sticking point with my s/o because he wants to ‘take care of me’. How do we work through it? Communication. His love language is verbal; mine is action.
So yesterday my s/o shows up unannounced, lets himself in through the garage and proceeds to:
1. cement the mailbox that my daughter ran over two weeks ago
2. seal my sunroof until i can get the latch repaired for it to close properly.
3. push my son’s disabled car out of the garage so my daughter & i can park inside.
4. clear my front and back yard of all the limbs that have fallen from all these heavy rains.
5. made dinner for me & my munchkins
6. massaged the tension out of my shoulders because i’ve had a couple of stressful weeks (ya think?)
Mind you, I knew none of this was going on until the smell of dinner brought me out of my bedroom.
I really think a girl could learn to be a lil’ less set in her ways
Leggs
October 19th, 2009
9:42 am
Good morning. I had a fabulous weekend.
I’m not a stubborn person. I don’t mind yielding/compromising. Although I’m self-reliant, I have no problem loosening the reins when I need to.
I feel the same way, HopelessR. The word “promise” is a big word for me. If you promise ANYTHING, I expect you to deliver.
Professor
October 19th, 2009
9:42 am
Hopeless,
I am with you on not letting go a specific situation. I am the same way, not to mention I have high, well that is not correct VERY high expectations, so I always expect people to “know how to act,” “know what to do”, or “do what they say” etc. Now I am learning that realistic expectations are the best…knowing that people will probably do what they have always done and either I accept them for that or I roll out.
CNN, when you are used to setting your mind and achieving what you set out to be, well yes it is easy to dismiss or become stubborn with those that are “stumbling” blocks to you.
Leggs
October 19th, 2009
9:49 am
Good for you czB, but he must be a quiet worker if you didn’t know any of that was going on until dinner.
CoolShadow
October 19th, 2009
9:54 am
I can appreciate the self-reliance and independence aspects; they are reflections of taking responsibility for your actions and decisions. It’s the other end of that spectrum that would concern me more, i.e., co-dependency. It’s not cool when people see you coming that they automatically think that you’ll want something from them.
There’s a fine line between being determined and being stubborn. Both aspects exhibit a strong-willed mindset about life, decisions, etc. The difference is that stubbornness shows an inflexibility to change or entertain differing perspectives. Stubbornness can be the asphyxiation to a relationship that you’re trying to breathe life into.
Professor
October 19th, 2009
9:54 am
@czBrat…now that is whats up! I like a man that can take charge and make things happen!
@Leggs what did you do this weekend? I think I had to much fun I did a weekend trip away and I am still feeling it.
abc
October 19th, 2009
10:03 am
The thing about self-absorption, inflexibility, and so-called stubbornness is that, to me, it represents stupidity, as in just plain lack of intelligence. In the absence of the ability to be rational, such people will fall back on an emotional response and insist on that which is most familiar.
Not to cast aspersions upon you, Diva, or others that would confess to being stubborn. I’ve been described as being stubborn myself. While I would require someone to present compelling reasons why I should change my mind about something, I’m not inflexible. For my baby, the only compelling reason I need is that she has a different preference — but that pretty much applies to only her. If I were to refuse her preferences due to lack of compelling reasons, that would be a fine example of abc being dumb as a box of hair, and that’s kind of what I’m talking about.
Leggs
October 19th, 2009
10:05 am
@Professor ~ went to the hairdresser and got a new “do”. Put on one of my favorite flirty dresses and went to a b-day party in Hampton, GA (somewhere behind “God’s back”) Whew, a 45 min ride and had a blast. Took pj’s and toothbrush just in case I didn’t want to drive back home, but I went home. Got up and went to church Sunday morning. Washed clothes and made a nice Sunday dinner. Well spent weekend. I danced, I danced, and I danced!
Seriously, czB, that was very nice and thoughtful of your man to do that while giving you time to relax. Acts of kindness done from the heart are the most rewarding.
CNN
October 19th, 2009
10:10 am
Leggs – Sound like you had a great weekend.
I know I did. Enjoyed the weekend with family and friends and kept myselft busy with my ministry work. Feel asleep Sunday night and felt good like I had done a lot for Jehovah.
CNN
October 19th, 2009
10:11 am
*myself *Fell
czBrat
October 19th, 2009
10:12 am
@Leggs and Professor yes. it was awesome. i actually went home early Friday feeling under the weather and spent all weekend in bed. he worked quietly on purpose so as not to disturb me
this is the first time i’ve met someone who WANTS to be my everything, and i have to admit it does ease my fears about giving in a little; showing the softer side. having discussed love languages early on in our relationship is really helping us get over the hurdles.
i'm swiss
October 19th, 2009
10:13 am
czBrat — I hope you rewarded your SO with a little sumpin’ sumpin’… Dude earned it!
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
10:15 am
Three Words Daily – Gotta love Mondays.
Leggs
October 19th, 2009
10:15 am
CNN – I did. Your weekend sounds very fulfilled as well. Different ways of doing things, but outcome still the same. Our soul’s thirst was quenched (for now).
czBrat
October 19th, 2009
10:19 am
sounds like lots of my blog buddies had great weekends! i’m happy for each and every one. Professor where did you go? if you don’t mind sharing.
Swiss he took a raincheck. he had to stop in and check on his father before getting back home to his own kids. you’re right, i owe him!
Professor
October 19th, 2009
10:19 am
@Leggs you had a blast this weekend and I know you enjoyed dancing.
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
10:20 am
Had the best birthday weekend of my life. Many thanks and MAD LOVE to all that came out to Copeland’s at Atlantic Station on Friday. I’m not so sure they are going to let us back in there EVER. And Tazzee, um, yeah…NO MORE bowling in dahood EVER. Spent the day yesterday boo’d up and watching football.
Life is grand.
Professor
October 19th, 2009
10:21 am
@czBrat I was in south beach and I smoked some very fine cigars. I can back on yesterday and went to the movies.
I can always tell the weekends I enjoy the most, because I am sitting here now thinking about this upcoming weekend.
Professor
October 19th, 2009
10:22 am
@CNN are you a minister (if you don’t mine telling)?
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
10:26 am
And no, I’m not particularly stubborn and usually don’t have a problem compromising for as much as I think I’m set in my ways.
However, I have found that choosing mates and friends with whom you have similiar interests and beliefs makes it easier to compromise because you’re typically doing something that you would normally do anyway. It’s usually just a question of arranging the details.
Leggs
October 19th, 2009
10:29 am
czB ~ three words = Good for you! Good for you!
Professor
October 19th, 2009
10:31 am
I meant I “came” back on yesterday and went to the movies and out to eat. Whew I guess I am still tired…
Dream_n (i just don't understand the Bears:(
October 19th, 2009
10:35 am
Good Morning All…
Stubborn, headstrong, brat, spoiled.. traits that I am trying to work on.
I tend to get very bratty when things don’t go my way…..
Compromising… I belive I can compromoise, but it depends on what I have to compromise on…
czBrat
October 19th, 2009
10:35 am
Happy B-day SexyC keep climbing!
Dream_n (i just don't understand the Bears:(
October 19th, 2009
10:36 am
Happy B-lated B-day SexyCool!!!
Leggs
October 19th, 2009
10:39 am
Happy B-lated Birthday, SexyC! Sounds like you too had a blast!
czBrat
October 19th, 2009
10:41 am
Compromising… I belive I can compromoise, but it depends on what I have to compromise on…
LOL @ Dream_n welcome back. how was your vacation?
Mo (aka Moeisha)
October 19th, 2009
10:42 am
Morning All!
I dont have a problem with compromise as long as its a two way street. I dont like conflict and if its something that isnt that serious to me then compromise is cool. However I will admit to being stubborn, moreso with my actions than by my words. If im not feeling it, my actions will show it. But also my level of compromise will depend on how I feel about you. IF im into you it makes it easier….
Glad you enjoyed yourselves this weekend ladies!
Dream_n (i just don't understand the Bears:(
October 19th, 2009
10:48 am
@ czBrat
Vacation was filled with running errands, doc’s appointment, buying the little one’s halloween costume and resting on Sunday to watch the footbal game. Not your typical vacation, but very productive lol
Professor...sleepy and tired
October 19th, 2009
10:52 am
Hey
Dream-n what will the little one be this year for halloween? That reminds me I need to get some candy.
czBrat
October 19th, 2009
10:54 am
i don’t mean to be stubborn. i’ve learned to rely on myself, so it just takes A LOT for me to give up the steering wheel. the plus is that this position really makes a man step up if he wants to be my lead.
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
10:56 am
Oh, yeah and what Mo said, compromise is a two way street. As long as there is balance and moderation in compromise, I’m cool with it.
Dream_n (i just don't understand the Bears:(
October 19th, 2009
10:59 am
Professor
I kept trying to make her be the new black princess lol… but she wanted to be cinderella.. so cinderella it is. lol
Leggs
October 19th, 2009
11:00 am
Looks like you can see Cloud 5 a little clearer.
For Real
October 19th, 2009
11:01 am
Stubborn, headstrong, brat, spoiled = Run Forrest Run!!!
Kym: http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/08/the-opt-out-myth/
czBrat: Can I borrow Mr. Bookman this weekend?
Happy Bday SexyCool!!!!
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
11:02 am
Leggs – Yeah, won’t be long before I’m at Cloud 5 strong. I didn’t get the czBrat full special this weekend, but he did take my truck and get it washed for me. LOL!
Professor...sleepy and tired
October 19th, 2009
11:03 am
@Dream…I am so excited about the new black princess!!! Carol’s daughter was commissioned to make products featuring her! I can not wait. I know little dream_n will make pretty cinderella
For Real
October 19th, 2009
11:09 am
Oh and a compromise is NOT a two way street.
Mo (aka Moeisha)
October 19th, 2009
11:09 am
Hey For Real!
Dream_n – that is soo cute!! I love to see the kiddies dressed up!
Dream_n (i just don't understand the Bears:(
October 19th, 2009
11:11 am
For Real
You didn’t keep reading lol… I’m working on those!
Professor… Although she would have been more convincing as pocahantas.. lol
I’m so excited too.. as soon as it hits the theater I’m going to be there.
I went to the dept stores on Sat.. and they already have all of the accesories to make a themed room… sheets, lamp, pillows, blankets, and rugs.
Mo (aka Moeisha)
October 19th, 2009
11:11 am
Alright For Real (dare I ask), why is compromise NOT a 2 way street??
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
11:11 am
For Real – Let me see if I can restate that – how about this? – as long as we are compromising on both sides of the street, I’m cool.
czBrat
October 19th, 2009
11:12 am
@For Real … that’s gonna be a big HE!! NO! but i’ll help you find your own
Mo (aka Moeisha)
October 19th, 2009
11:18 am
SexyCool – agreeing with that 11:11, I dont want to be the one always compromising on issues and vice versa.
Dream_n (i just don't understand the Bears:(
October 19th, 2009
11:26 am
I just don’t want to always be compromising…
Tazzee - WHAT A WIN!!!
October 19th, 2009
11:37 am
Morning Folks!!!
I’m a little set in my ways but not stubborn. I love to hear another person’s POV and I’m willing to change how I’m doing things if their way is better. I think I’m quite flexible because, in the grand scheme of things, a lot of stuff really doesn’t matter. As others have said, as long as the other person is able to compromise it’s good.
I feel like this, I can do things the way I like to do them when it’s just me. When I travel with friends, there’s a lot of compromise going on because I know that when I get home, in my own house – it’s back to Tazzee’s way. With my fiance’ there’s not a lot of areas where we have to compromise because the things that are pretty major to him, don’t matter to me and vice versa.
THE INFAMOUS DK
October 19th, 2009
11:37 am
I dont like stubborn babes.. Independent is synonymous with being stubborn also selfish.. So when a chick says shes independent I turn the other way.. Im not gonna even try and fight that battle.. Go be independent and alone.. I dont want a co-dep chick but I want a babe that understands where she fits into the equation of us.. I find these highly educated babes often think they are way more than what they are.. A degree doesnt give you a pair of Nutz.. Nor does your money..
For Real
October 19th, 2009
11:40 am
Mo/Scool: “I dont want to be the one always compromising on issues and vice versa.” – Now that I can agree with… for the record, a two-way street is traffic going in opposite directions thus it’s not a compromise if you are going in two different directions. OUCH!! My head hurts.
czBrat: Awww thank you very much. Not too many women would be open to having sex with a dude in exchange for that dude fixing ish around my house. So this is what the President meant by community.
PSA!!!
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1201170#
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
11:41 am
Taz – you are so right with the being with friends and having to compromise.
I have this one friend that I refuse to hang out with in a group because she has to be in control of what’s happening and pitches a bytch when SHE has to make a concession.
Tazzee - WHAT A WIN!!!
October 19th, 2009
11:42 am
Had a great weekend.
Friday night was date night with the Mr. He suggested a movie and I REALLY didn’t want to go, but I’m glad we did. We saw Law Abiding Citizen and I thought it was great.
Saturday went to spinning class and then did some housecleaning before we met up with SCool and her peeps for some bowling in the hood. Never had my purse checked, my man pat down for bowling, LOL.
Sunday was early service, breakfast, after church nap then football. Watched the Saints thrash the Giants then off to tailgating. My Falcons came through big time. I am so sleepy – didn’t get home until around 2am…
For Real
October 19th, 2009
11:43 am
“I have this one friend that I refuse to hang out with in a group because she has to be in control of what’s happening and pitches a bytch when SHE has to make a concession.” – Yeah but you have to admit she was right about you wearing matching panties and bras tho!
THE INFAMOUS DK
October 19th, 2009
11:47 am
Ok on another note..
I heard a woman call her baby son Obama this weekend as in.. “Obama please stop crying for Mommy”.. I bout sopit my swedish pancakes out..
Im gonna go on record to say thats not OK.. Obama Smith or Barackonica Jones aint cool.. Obamanique is also unacceptable.. I aint naming my son after myself let alone another dude..
Dream_n (i just don't understand the Bears:(
October 19th, 2009
11:47 am
My Falcons came through big time.
Yea unfortunately
lol!
I find these highly educated babes often think they are way more than what they are
Should I take offense to that …lmao!! naww
YIKES
October 19th, 2009
11:50 am
LOL @ SexyCool…..I have friends that I dont like to hang with because they make me out to be that person…..I have friends that will push it to the limit no means no if I say NO I dont want to go does that make me a stubborn controling bytch…..lol lmoa
YIKES
October 19th, 2009
11:53 am
@ THE INFAMOUS DK I support this message….
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
11:55 am
For Real – you are a nutcase.
Two way street – compromise going and coming.
Taz – MND and I were sitting there watching people come in and trying to decide how they were letting some people in without the patdown but sending some straight through. MND and I weren’t checked. But um, you and Mr. You – well, Mr. You is huge. MND and I decided that he is built like the Fox football robots. It’s gotta be an awesome feeling walking around what that dude.
Tazzee - WHAT A WIN!!!
October 19th, 2009
11:58 am
If I’m in an uncompromising mood then I’ll just stay home – otherwise, I know that if I choose to be with others then I’m saying that it’s not going to be my way all the time.
Now there are some things that are a must – if we go out of town, we must stay in a hotel with a gym. On road trips, the driver gets to choose the music, stuff like that. Hmm, I wonder if folks that ride with me think I’m being stubborn – but I always say that if you don’t like the music, you can take the wheel…
czBrat
October 19th, 2009
12:00 pm
LMAO @ DK 11:47
Tazzee - WHAT A WIN!!!
October 19th, 2009
12:04 pm
SCool –
the Fox football robots… yeah, I love walking around with him.
Yesterday while tailgating these dudes came over trying to get my throwback jersey (thank Truth!!!). Mr. Me was hanging back while us females were talking to the guys and one asked how much. I was like naw, dude. Then he jokingly said something about jacking me for my jersey. I pointed to my boo and was like – that’s my fiance’… He stopped all that talk.
Speaking of – it was great having him tailgate with us. We didn’t have to lift a finger. We’re accustomed to doing it ourselves but he was on it.
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
12:04 pm
WITH that dude…LOL!
Ain’t NObody gone mess with y’all!!!
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
12:06 pm
See what I mean. ~giggling~
czBrat
October 19th, 2009
12:07 pm
Tazzee sounds like you had a blast @ the game. good for you! i was sweatin those last few seconds. dirty birds!!!!
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
12:11 pm
Yikes – do I know you? LOL. Cause you sound familiar. Did we just go to a Mississippi State football game on Labor Day weekend? LOL!
And, Taz, she was complaining about MY music. LOL – and I compromised and switched to straight R&B because she is not a fan of hiphop.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 19th, 2009
12:16 pm
Hello All
Re the topic…I was watching a show a number of years ago called “thirty something”. One episode had two of the main couples meeting for dinner at a restaurant when one of the couples got into an argument. The show then replayed the same scene as seen through the eyes of, 1) the lady, 2) the guy, and 3) the other couple. Same scenario, same basic facts, but it was seen in totally different ways. It was startling how different it appeared to all.
Three sides to every argument…his, hers, and the truth.
czBrat
October 19th, 2009
12:20 pm
Three sides to every argument…his, hers, and the truth.
Randy, that was the first thought that came to mind when I started reading your post. So true!
Chink
October 19th, 2009
12:27 pm
Can I be stubborn? Yep I am a bull its in my DNA. I am all about talking and compromise though and I am not alone
CNN
October 19th, 2009
12:45 pm
@Profesor – I am a witness of Jehovah
Tazzee - WHAT A WIN!!!
October 19th, 2009
1:06 pm
SCool – she complained and YOU were driving? You’re good…
Tazzee - WHAT A WIN!!!
October 19th, 2009
1:09 pm
czBrat – I was holding my breath those last few seconds. There were A LOT of Bears fans in the Dome, I’m so glad we sent them home with a loss.
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
1:09 pm
Taz – I knew you would feel me on that. LOL!
It is one of the reasons that I will have to think long and hard about whether I will travel with her again.
That and her insistence that we can make a 240 mile trip in three hours.
YIKES
October 19th, 2009
1:22 pm
@SexyCool….lol nope thats not me but that person sounds really cool!!!
Leggs
October 19th, 2009
1:46 pm
FYI ~ This blog is going to close down if we don’t start talking about the topic or even putting another dating topic out there and stop using this forum as personal email convo between friends (IMO)!
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
1:51 pm
Leggs – Update on us on the ‘old’ (teasing) guy that you met out a couple of weeks ago. (Or was there an update already and I missed it?)
Mo (aka Moeisha)
October 19th, 2009
1:53 pm
Well alrighty then Leggs! LOL!
Tazzee - WHAT A WIN!!!
October 19th, 2009
1:54 pm
Leggs – folks have been changing the topic and using this blog as a message board for years. If it hasn’t shut down yet…
Black Magic Woman
October 19th, 2009
1:56 pm
SEXYCOOL…girl that big drink gave me indigestion!
INFAMOUS… ” A degree doesnt give you a pair of Nutz.. Nor does your money..” So what does having nutz have to do with anything? I mean nutz do not make you better…so what are you trying to say? It’s ok to be independent until a man comes along and a woman should lie down and play dumb? Hmmm…I thinketh NOT!
I am stubborn and I do not give a d*mn who doesn’t like it. It seems when I go against myself, I end up kicking my own butt and falling on my face. But being stubborn also makes me resillient. So I can get right back up and come out stronger.
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
2:03 pm
BMW – My big drink had me hugging on 17year olds and singing and dancing with strangers and crying like a baby.
THE INFAMOUS DK
October 19th, 2009
2:05 pm
Black – Cause most women that get their own money think a dude cant tell em nothing.. They in turn think they can put their dude in a skirt.. I just find it funny how control freaks think because a dude says something contrary to what you think or tell you know they are trying to control you.. My personal opinion is those chicks always screaming a dude trying to control them are the most controlling. You know the neck turning the head is a form of control.. Making a dude do something that you know he doesnt want to do is control, but nobody ever says anything about that and use that he aint a man cause he wont do such and such.. Thats makes him more of a man if he stands in there no matter how unpopular the descision is.. If I care about you and we trying to do us.. Im gonna tell you no sometimes and that I dont think this is best for the tribe..
THE INFAMOUS DK
October 19th, 2009
2:08 pm
In the end if you cant understand its a team sport and let your independence get in the way of seeing the big picture.. Then you need to re-evaluate your position..
Leggs
October 19th, 2009
2:08 pm
@Tazzee, changing the topic doesn’t seem to be the problem. That seem to have been done from day one. Even using this as a message board is a given. What has changed is the exclusivity of using this as a message board. The dating topic is falling by the wayside and the message board is all this is. Hell, lurkers complain about a lot things and pretty sure this is one. If readership goes down for this, why do you feel they will keep the blog going??
Ok, here’s a topic you guys can pick apart at my expense: @SCool, if you’re referring to the guy I went out a few weeks ago as a “meet and greet” to determine if there was interest all I can say is there must not have been any interest because I haven’t heard from him. Now, one could argue as to whom should have called first. Personally I decided to let the natural sequence of man/woman unfold (albeit perhaps old fashioned in my book). If the man was interested in me he would let me know or even call to say something. I haven’t heard from him so I took that as a sign and I didn’t bother to call. However, the person who set us up told me he was interested and was looking forward to seeing me again. He told her he texted and called me, but I never received either message. So, what’s a gal to do?
THE INFAMOUS DK
October 19th, 2009
2:12 pm
And lets be clear I aint trying to say let a dude run you in the ground.. Im saying its a team sport.. Ya’ll.. Ya’ll should be discussing what and where ya’ll wanna be. You relationship aint a battle or test of wills..
All Im saying is alot of chicks now a days got it twisted.. They got the wrong info on relationships.. They dont even know what a man is but steady want to define a man based of what they heard or read in a tabloid..
THE INFAMOUS DK
October 19th, 2009
2:15 pm
Then they are stubborn for no apparent reason other than being stubborn.. If I cant offer you something then I aint trying to be with you cause I never want to take anything from you..
Black Magic Woman
October 19th, 2009
2:15 pm
INFAMOUS…so it’s control if a woman tries to get a guyu to do something he doesn’t want to? But if it’s the other way around….it’s for her own good? I guess she is too mindless to make good decisions huh? A woman has the right to be controlling when it comes to her. Not meaning to control another person…but more so controlling of situations that apply to her happiness and well being. I recently visited my grandparents and my grandpa is in a nursing home. I sat there and spoke with a lot of elderly women and they all had this to say…” I wish I had the opportunites that you girls have today. You can make your own money, live you life and you do not have to deal with a man’s crap like I did. Back in my day, all you looked forward to was getting married and having babies. If that man cheated on you or mistreated you in any way, you had to grin and bear it. But you don’t have to deal with it.” Now that leads me to believe that all these old marriages that lasted for years weren’t as happy as they appeared…at least from the woman’s point of view. It was all they knew. It’s funny…My granny’s mind comes and goes….but all these years later..she can still think of the bad things and how angry and hurt they made her. I don’t want to be that woman.
THE INFAMOUS DK
October 19th, 2009
2:18 pm
Me.. Im not stubborn at all.. I’ll compromise until I feel like Im starting to compromise myself or that my effort isnt being matched..
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
2:19 pm
Leggs – did he have any problem contacting via phone/text before the meet and greet?
Google Dating Online » Stubborn is Not Sexy | Misadventures in Atlanta
October 19th, 2009
2:20 pm
[...] original post here: Stubborn is Not Sexy | Misadventures in Atlanta This entry is filed under Dating, Dating in Atlanta. You can follow any responses to this entry [...]
Tazzee - WHAT A WIN!!!
October 19th, 2009
2:20 pm
Leggs – I feel you. Mondays are usually pretty slow. I suspect most folks are still recuperating from that Falcons win last night
As far as lurkers, I think that the lurkers should chime in on topic or with some dating adventures. Everyone that has commented today, has commented on the topic.
Now – as far as your dude, I agree with your approach. If he wants to see you, he’ll make it happen. It amazes me how many grown man try that ‘I left a message’ mess. I had one guy that had more phone problems than anyone – he would periodically send me an email talking about his phone broke, or he lost his phone and that’s why he didn’t call over the weekend. YRB…come to find out later he was engaged and living with his fiancee.
Have you told the matchmaker that you didn’t receive any messages from dude?
Leggs
October 19th, 2009
2:22 pm
He text me once before the meet and greet saying he was thinking about me and asked me to call, and we talked on the phone 4x before the meet and greet. So upon meeting, nada afterwards! Hey, I ain’t gonna slay all those I come in contact with (LOL). It’s just that simple. Don’t know why I would get the first text before meeting, but not the second one he says he sent after meeting. Keep it moving, keep it moving….
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
2:24 pm
I used to date a dude that would tell me that he was having intestinal problems and would text me the next day and tell me he couldn’t return my calls because he got ’stuck on the throne’.
Which in hindsight was quite fitting because he was definitely full of sht.
THE INFAMOUS DK
October 19th, 2009
2:25 pm
Black – Read all the posts then respond.. Dont allow your mouth to salivate over one line.. Dont see red off the top.. Re-read and digest it.
Chink
October 19th, 2009
2:27 pm
My personal opinion is those chicks always screaming a dude trying to control them are the most controlling.
Really… never tried to control a man. Me telling him I dont like that and the consequences of that is not control its “information”.
A man telling me what to wear, what to eat, how to think <— thats control.
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
2:29 pm
Leggs – I feel you. Either not enough interest or (and more likely) already has something else going on.
czBrat
October 19th, 2009
2:30 pm
@Leggs those that don’t take are allowing you to remain available for the one that will be a better match. you’re right … Keep it moving, keep it moving…
Black Magic Woman
October 19th, 2009
2:31 pm
INFAMOUS…I read all the posts….but I spoke only on the lines that bothered me. I tired to digest them….but like my big drink…it gave me indigestion!
SEXY….so your dude’s colon was swollen?
Dream_n (i just don't understand the Bears:(
October 19th, 2009
2:33 pm
@ Leggs
You didn’t get those butterflies when you guys met and began talking… it was doomed before it began lol…(just kidding)
Why do guys think that phone non-sense is going to fly over with us.. My girl was talking to this guy they texted back and forth. He would alwasy respond to her flirty msgs or the ones about meeting up… but anytime she would get serious he would never respond back to her… it was f’n hilarious. (to me)… I told her anytime you guyz are only texting and not talking on the phone at all chica… it isn’t “real”.
He would always say, I didn’t get the message.. lmao!!
SexyCool - Status - At about 4.8 on the Cloud Scale
October 19th, 2009
2:33 pm
BMW – EXACTLY. Lotta swollen colon folks allowed to roam around at free will and with no warning labels attached.
LOL – That reminds me of a Sommore joke. Where she talks about dudes that should come with warning labels about “the mphckg side effects.”