Keep it Between Us
A reader emailed because she wants help getting out of the doghouse with her boyfriend. This past weekend, he heard her on the phone discussing their relationship with a close friend. He was particularly upset because she was talking about their bedroom activities as well.
His point was that you don’t give explicit details about what we do in private. He doesn’t understand her need to talk about it, especially if there are no problems. Now he doesn’t think she is trustworthy and he thinks she’s immature. She is in her early 20s, so it’s probably a hard lesson to learn but at least she learned her lesson.
Would it bother you if someone you were dating constantly talked about your relationship with other people? How would you handle it?
Guys, have you ever dated someone who would discuss your sex life with other people? Did it bother you? If so, why?
Ladies, do you think that it’s good practice to talk about your man’s skills to other women? Why do so many women do that? Would it bother you if your man or husband shared details about your sex life with his friends?
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371 comments Add your comment
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
8:48 am
Would I tell some of my friends some of the stuff I tell you all? Uh, Nope.
Do I talk to my friends about some things? Yes, one in particular.
Would I do it in a place where my husband could hear me? Nooooo.
You have to know your partner and know what to talk about and what not to.
Stan
October 15th, 2009
8:58 am
I pretty much expect my wife to talk to her friends about our private details. To a point at least. Over time she has learned where to draw the line and not embarass me or anything. Though I am best friends with my wife, there are some things that she just can’t talk to me about.
I think dude needs to get over it, it happens.
mytw♥cents WWMy2D?
October 15th, 2009
9:03 am
I dwell in the “this is our dirty little secret” camp…unless we just so happen to land on the topic amidst shopping it up. I don’t understand her need to talk about it, either. And I think what he thinks about her maturity level, etcetera, although I know women much older than her who feel like the minute details are okay for public consumption. Some have yet to master the lost art of how to just be still and hush. Guess I empathize with him cuz I’ve been introduced as .02 – - you know, the one I was telling you ’bout who bleeeeeeep… That was an W:shock:W
MG W:shock:W moment if ever I had one. And he was 35ish.
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
9:04 am
Good morning!
His point was that you don’t give explicit details about what we do in private.
He said it best!!! …
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
9:06 am
The fact that my friends and I often see each other and get together with our spouses makes unfavorable for me to talk to them about certain things even if I wanted to. These women are breathing living beings in our lives. They can look my husband in the face. I wouldn’t do that to him.
However, he has no problem with me expressing that he makes me happy as a wife, friend and lover. I just do it more subtly with people that I know personally and that knows him personally.
I think constant complaining is the worst. I hear people that constantly complain about their partners and what their partners aren’t doing. Whether it’s around the house or in the bed. I hate constant complainers. And I know my husband would rather I speak fondly of him instead of noting everything that I feel he is not doing the way I feel is correctly.
He and I have an agreement, if he and I can’t or haven’t laughed or joked about it, it’s off the table for discussion with anyone. However I do have a confidant. But she tells me stuff that I know she would not want me to repeat in front of her husband so I can trust her with what I tell her.
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
9:08 am
mytwocents Hey lady!
let’s see here… W
W and W 
W…hmmmm
mytw♥cents WWMy2D?
October 15th, 2009
9:10 am
Chopping it up, not Shopping it up! Though I do feel a Shopportunity in the not so distant future. And what did CEMEELI do to my bulging eyes? Hmmm
mytw♥cents WWMy2D?
October 15th, 2009
9:12 am
CEE, I knew it was you!
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
9:14 am
TwoLincolns, there is always a Shopportunity. Always. LOL
SexyCool - Holding at Cloud 4.
October 15th, 2009
9:14 am
Three Words Daily – Love without fear.
Wings -() (Human and Divine)
October 15th, 2009
9:16 am
Good Morning Bloggers!
Bottom line – You don’t share intimate details with your girlfriends about your man…….
Mouth almighty and Tongue Everlasting might have to find out the hard way……y’all gone make me break out my Whodini music………you know I been in a throwback mood. LOL
Have A great Day and Imma Check back in………
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
9:17 am
@ mytwo – “Shopportunity in the not so distant future”….Can i go?
i know it’s early…but, i some Swedish meatballs…
SexyCool - Holding at Cloud 4.
October 15th, 2009
9:18 am
Co-signing Stan.
MR. Unknown
October 15th, 2009
9:18 am
GM For guys, unless we are having a problem.. We don’t discuss NOTHING with our friends when it comes to wife or GF… I don’t want them knowing the way my wife or GF’s tat-tats bounce inside their head. And if we do talk its never in detail. That really Really bugs me, when a GF discloses personal info about me.
In my early 20’s, I could care less if she told the world about the stroke. But now I understand that it only breeds curiosity. Don’t women always say, there are certain secrets that they will take to the grave.. Wouldn’t having your back blowout by your bestfriends mate be considered one of those secrets… Just food for thought the next time you want to discuss your bed activities, especially to one of your friends that hasn’t had sex in awhile..
Professor
October 15th, 2009
9:19 am
GM,
Whew I think this was a sub-topic last week or something…so “gentle reader” you should have lurked better.
You just don’t tell that kind of explicit stuff period. Remember, “Loose lips sink ships.” I believe I shared this with the blog before my mom worked with a lady years ago that lost her husband to her neighbor/BFF. The wife told the neighbor/BFF everything from arguments to tongue hanging…can’t breath…calling on your savior sex moments. Well the neighbor gave it a try and took her husband, and according to the wife it was her mouth and the go over there and her neighbor/BFF with this or that you know she is single. Yes there are things you can share, but never pass up the opportunity to say nothing. If you are talking stop getting caught you know men eavesdrop too.
Hopeless Romantic
October 15th, 2009
9:25 am
WOmen talk…that’s just how we are wired. Personally I don’t share details because it’s my privacy too. I don’t ask what level of detail my partner shares because I do not want to micromanage what he can say to others. Communicate with your spouse or significant other what level of details you want him/her to share. Look at is as an opportunity to explore further how each other feels and thinks about these types of situations.
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
9:27 am
Communicate with your spouse or significant other what level of details you want him/her to share
Exactly.
SexyCool - Holding at Cloud 4.
October 15th, 2009
9:29 am
The other part of this – if your gf has a man and you talk to her about your stuff, I can guarantee you that her man knows some, if not all, of what you have talked about.
And that man has an opinion about it and about you.
SexyCool - Holding at Cloud 4.
October 15th, 2009
9:30 am
As a result, I don’t share anything with my gf’s that I don’t want her man to know.
Wings -() (Human and Divine)
October 15th, 2009
9:32 am
Okay…….had to post it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZDhwEHR6I0
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
9:32 am
If a guy leaves his woman for her single friend that she should not have been telling certain things to anyway, that probably means the business was not that as great for him as she was stating it was for her.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 15th, 2009
9:36 am
I personally do not like a spouse/SO discussing our love lives. There is a point here that is being overlooked, and that is that the conversation will be one-sided, and “some of the facts” may distort the bigger picture.
For example: during the last year of my marriage, I intercepted a few emails from my eventual ex to her mother. Her mother was advising her that she could see no reason to ever stay in a relationship where there was no passion. Fair except for the fact that my ex was not revealing to her that she was using an anti-depressant she had been on for several years, Zoloft, that had been repeatedly noted to kill off 100% of desire in many of its users, and also often caused substantial weight gain. She also did not discuss with her mother how many of our sexual issues stemmed from the fact that she had been repeatedly sexually abused by her fine, upstanding father during her teen years and that sex had always been very difficult for her and had damaged our relationship from the beginning. She also conveniently failed to mention that through trial, error, and a dogged detrmination, I had learned how to bring her to an orgasm almost every single time.,,but that did not stop the ghosts of her father from invading our bedroom.
If it is great, it is no ones business. If there are issues, come to me first.
THE INFAMOUS DK
October 15th, 2009
9:39 am
What goes on in our house stays in our house..
Ladies that runninback mouth will get your team quarterbacked.. Thats right your closest girls gonna wanna ride the scream machine aka the mindbender..
See all that energy goin into telling ya friends the biz you need to be telling ya dude, cause half the time we dont even know ya’ll be on one about nothing..
SexyCool - Holding at Cloud 4.
October 15th, 2009
9:39 am
Also, I won’t tell my SO anything of my gf’s business that may cause him to look at her in a certain way.
Because I see it like this, if my man thinks I have messed up unstable ass friends, he may start to look at me sideways and question MY judgement and/or character – you know, the whole birds of a feather thing.
So, some of the more out there, freaky, questionable stuff and/or stupid decisions get left under the table and in the closet.
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
9:40 am
SexyCool, as for your 9:30, that is true, however there are things that my friend tells me that I just will not tell my husband. One reason being he is friends with my friend’s husband. I wouldn’t want to create an awkward moment during those times they hang out as buddies.
So far I feel I have that same level of trust in her.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 15th, 2009
9:41 am
@ Prof re: “never pass up the opportunity to say nothing”
As a boss once told me many years ago, you don’t have to tell everything you know…he was right.
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
9:43 am
I agree with RandyT stated here – “If it is great, it is no ones business. If there are issues, come to me first.”
By the time the one person tells a friend their side of the story, it’s distorted anyway…facts are left out…ect.
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
9:43 am
So RandyT you are saying I should have never told you about my garter belt and thigh-highs? Now you tell me.
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
9:45 am
lol @ Infamous…What’s with the football correlations?
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 15th, 2009
9:46 am
Raqi
In addition to beautiful fantasy/visual, you never actually shared what later happened, so this falls under “Techniques to Keep a Man Guessing…and in his Place” which is okay.
Professor
October 15th, 2009
9:48 am
What goes on in our house stays in our house..
That was always our motto growing up, but I do know men talk as well not sure how much they disclose I just feel keep your mouth close unless you are talking to the appropriate audience. Hey I live by that line everything is not for everybody. You would not tell your manager a sexual laced joke, nor would you tell your preacher that you were late to morning service because you had a big O…folks just talk to dayum much IMO and when they talk they are saying the wrong stuff to the wrong folks (usually).
SexyCool - Holding at Cloud 4.
October 15th, 2009
9:48 am
Raqi – my 939a kinda speaks to your 940a. So, yeah, I feel ya’ and as most often, we are >>>here<<<.
CAZ
October 15th, 2009
9:48 am
What the Girls talk about amongst themselves is of no concern to me, same for me and the Boy’s. But I don’t want or need to hear my Woman discussing our lovemaking with anyone & vice versa, so if she does want to talk do it when with the girls. Also this should include other topics like finance as well.
SexyCool - Cloud 4 is so cool.
October 15th, 2009
9:53 am
Just heard the new Ursha – Papers – much like RKelly that negro will sing about anydamnthing – including what goes on in his relationship.
Can’t help but think that Meka feelings may be hurt that could be why she allegedly keyed his car. Lord, please forgive me for gossiping this early in the day. ~LOL~
So, it’s safe to say he ain’t got no problem talking about what goes on in his relationship with THE WHOLE FREAKIN’ WORLD. But, it does get him paid.
Willie Dynamite
October 15th, 2009
9:53 am
Morning All,
I kinda agree with everyone on this one. What I have personally learned tho is this usually is a maturity thing. As with most relationship type items some Women tend to learn these things as they get a lil bit older or have a few misadventures. Men don’t typically talk to our buddies about something like that unless ol girl was a jump-off. But, We aint telling nobody nothing bout the Mrs.
Professor
October 15th, 2009
9:53 am
My hairdresser was talking once about she hope I find somebody and all that crap. I told her what makes you think I am single. She looked shocked, I was in a serious relationship at that time, but most of the ladies sit in there and talk all of this crap about their man and she never heard me say anything so she ass-u-me that I was having problems finding a man. My motto “my business is my own.”
Remember: The more you disclose the greater power you give someone else. So before you go running your mouth ask is this someone I should be handing power over to?
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
9:53 am
RandyT I think I did tell a little, but I see it like this, I avoid all blog gatherings and meetings. That is the agreement that my husband and I have.
So you reading anything that I say on here is no different than you reading a book or magazine. You don’t know the author personally.
But yeah, I am happy that you were happy. LOL
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
9:54 am
If she was just venting to her friend that is definitley different than what this story is projecting. If this guy (rightfully so) does’t want her telling the gf about the Russell Muscle and Gym Class, than she needs to respect that.
East Point's Own
October 15th, 2009
9:55 am
I do not recall ever talking to any of my guy friends about my sexual encounters with any woman (girlfriends included) beyond noting where one has “hit it” or not…
We do talk about sex in general on ocassion but not as it relates to a particular woman… unless we are comparing notes about a particular person multiple people I know have been with… In that case yeah we may go into detail… LoL
http://hispointofview.com
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
9:59 am
I don’t even think men are as comfortable talking to each other about certain things like woman are.
And most men don’t even want to know what is going on in your girlfriend’s life.
Talking amongst each other about relationships, good, bad, or in general, is more of a woman thing.
You just better know who you are talking with.
Willie Dynamite
October 15th, 2009
9:59 am
On another note, I must admit as a young man I appreciated the good ol college girl referrals. The gleam in the eye as she says ‘I hurd bout you’, Oh yeah. Boom chica boom boom.
Mike Jones (who)
October 15th, 2009
9:59 am
What goes on in the Bedroom should be kept private between the parties involved. The way I see it is if my S.O. girl friends weren’t involved in the bedroom rumble then they don’t need details of How we do, When we do, or What we do!” Now with that being said…(I won’t go there) lol
It pretty safe to assume that if she has no problem discussing what you do in the sack, she has no problem discussing other things you may consider private or personal. Spoken from experience!
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
10:01 am
speaking of venting…
If we get Community Coffee free…then why are we approving the budget for Starbuck’s dispensers?!?! Don’t make any sense…
East Point's Own
October 15th, 2009
10:01 am
loose lips sink ships…and relationships…and marriages
I’m just saying.
And there is (almost)nothing worse than when women go telling their view of one side of a situation to their friends/family, and then everybody looks at you funny and think you are scum, when they don’t even know half of the facts. That causes more problems in many cases than the initial issue between the man and woman having the problem. You will never solve a problem by telling a skewed persepctive of one side of a story.
And as far as discussing sex… Word of mouth advertising is the best kind.. so go tell all your girlfriends about what we do in the bedroom, and see what happens… or better yet don’t see what happens.
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
10:02 am
Yes SexyCool >>>here<<<.
Leggs
October 15th, 2009
10:02 am
Morning everyone!
I have a lot to read, but let me say this, we all need a sounding board from time to time. That person we can talk to about most anything. However, very private and intimate details of my relationship is kept between me and mine! If there’s a problem, then we sit down and discuss together. Outside feedback from friends usually makes matters worse. All should know that you don’t broadcast the delights of your SO to your friends. Some get the wrong idea and believe they actually can step to your [wo]man.
@Raqi ~ you got mail!
Mike Jones (who)
October 15th, 2009
10:05 am
And as far as discussing sex… Word of mouth advertising is the best kind.. so go tell all your girlfriends about what we do in the bedroom, and see what happens… or better yet don’t see what happens.
Free advertising, eventually one of them will get curious
i'm swiss
October 15th, 2009
10:05 am
“Men don’t typically talk to our buddies about something like that unless ol girl was a jump-off. But, We aint telling nobody nothing bout the Mrs.”
Exactly, Willie D… This is not really an issue for guys — at least none that I personally know.
For one thing, guys just don’t have the same incessant need to talk about every detail of our lives with anyone. Not saying that’s good or bad, it’s just the way we’re wired — we just deal & keep on moving; we don’t need or want to talk about sh!t.
And as far as the intimate sexual details — if it’s a woman we really like, we’re not sharing those nuggets with any of our boys. Hell… I know how hot Mrs. Swiss is & also know how guys’ brains work. So I already know my guy friends are trying to get a mental picture — the last thing I want to do is help them get a more accurate one…
THE INFAMOUS DK
October 15th, 2009
10:06 am
F that Im a private person and to date me means you know that so shut your mouth about us.. Imma tell you once to zip it up and then Im out.. This is the main reason my EX is just that.. Everybody knew what was going on in our house.
If you need advice go talk to a non biased source because if there are problems ya’ll wont be able to fix it you wanted to. The Fam and friends in the mix prevent healing because when ya’ll have made up they are still mad. I learned at an early age my Mom dont need to know nothing bad about my girlfriend cause to her im still baby boy and no woman better not ever do nothing but right by me.. When I told my mom we were getting divorced she cried.. Then when I told her what was going on those tears went in reverse and the Taurus the Bull came out.. I saw flame in her eyes.. She didnt say much but her eyes said it all.. Told me to go see her lawyer friend and to go hard. Her exact words were “If she thinks this is gonna be a come up she is in for a rude awakening, this ish comes to a screechin halt today”.. She wanted to represent me but that would be a conflict of interest and if she had been my divorce lawyer, it wouldve been extra ugly with cheese on top..
East Point's Own
October 15th, 2009
10:07 am
Prime example, I was talking to a woman I had been dating about how she feels about an ex- of hers dating one of her friends… She said that that would never happen because all of her female friends had a strict rule about not messing with any man any of the other women in the group have dated… and further that if she was ever seen out with a man that none of her friends would talk to that man.
Well a day or two later she tells me that one girl in the group ran into another chick from the group who was out on a date with a guy, and at some point during the night the other friend got the dude’s phone number and ended up going out with him the next weekend and the first chick saw them out and the drama began…
So that just goes to show that no matter what YOU THINK your girls won’t do you never know what will happen when they see something they want.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 15th, 2009
10:09 am
@ Raqi re: 9:53
Exactly. I talk too much perhaps here but I do it in anonymity and also usually to explain a point I am trying to make. I would never share this stuff with anyone who knows me or anyone I am seeing.
CAZ
October 15th, 2009
10:09 am
Yeah,There are things guy’s don’t discuss with each other such as hygeiene.And even though my Girl will tell me things(gossip) about other girlfriends or couples and I listen,it usually goes in one ear out the other. I have enough to deal with on a daily basis, I don’t want or need other peoples issues/problems clouding what’s important to me & my family to be.
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
10:11 am
The key is to know your Friends. And know them well.
I remember talking to my confidant about something that wasn’t really that private but I was confiding just the same. She told me that I was the one wrong and off base. That right there let me know that she would one day make an incredible friend. And she is.
East Point's Own
October 15th, 2009
10:12 am
@THE INFAMOUS DK I second that motion!
After my 5 yr relationship ended I made certain to never say a bad word about her to my family.. my mother and sister loved this girl like she was a part of the family… But about a year after the break up they saw the true colors, and now I think they can’t stand her more than me. It took a while but now they have nothing good to say about that chick, and I can sleep well knowing that its not because of a word I spoke.
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
10:13 am
CAZ Exactly.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 15th, 2009
10:13 am
@ I’m swiss
Exactly. Also as I said a few days ago, men don’t talk about hteir wives because, as you said, if it is good we don’t want them getting ideas, and if it is bad, we don’t want them knowing we screwed up.
czBrat
October 15th, 2009
10:13 am
GM All!
I’m not one to share details of my personal relationship with anyone. I’m just very private that way. However, I wouldn’t mind (or care to know) if my s/o discusses any aspect of our relationship with others.
Melo
October 15th, 2009
10:15 am
You just don’t tell that kind of explicit stuff period
well said….
the next time u tell ur female friend,she be pining for ur man…..
U do tell if u not serious about the person…or if ur mouth is just wack like that.
Morning!
East Point's Own
October 15th, 2009
10:16 am
OK so let’s flip the scenario…..
Why do ladies tell the man they are dating all about the one girl in the group who is promiscuous or who is the “man stealer”?
Further…why do ladies insist on bringing the guy you are dating around this chick?
If you have that one home girl who likes to run through dudes, is it supposed to be a test to see if your date will take the bait?
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
10:16 am
Swiss It’s funny how it’s not just females that talk males do too…there are some men that will run-a-muck about their relationship and share all deets.
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
10:18 am
Now the folks that tell their mamas, cousins, stepbrothers, next door neighbor any and everything are just setting themselves up for trouble.
I have a saying “don’t expect me to hate them for you”. And that’s what happens a lot. You tell you mama nem all your business and disagreements and at the next family gathering every body looking at your mate like they got third head. That just ain’t right.
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
10:18 am
Leggs You’ve got mail.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 15th, 2009
10:19 am
Men might confide AFTER a relationship ends…sort of to explain what happened or did not happen, but almost never during the relationship.
Besides, as my wise uncle told me years ago, “it does not do any good to complain because statistically 85% of the people you complain to, don’t care…and the other 15% are actually glad that you are miserable”. Keeping the ‘boys’ up to date on the romantic life…NEVER.
Melo
October 15th, 2009
10:19 am
Men don’t typically talk to our buddies about something like that unless ol girl was a jump-off.
Right Willie!!
But, We aint telling nobody nothing bout the Mrs
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
10:19 am
Why do ladies tell the man they are dating all about the one girl in the group who is promiscuous or who is the “man stealer”?
EastPoint, why would anyone do that?
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
10:20 am
Why do ladies tell the man they are dating all about the one girl in the group who is promiscuous or who is the “man stealer”?
Who does this for real? If she is YOUR friend and she’s promiscuous..auh….what does that say about you?!
…why do ladies insist on bringing the guy you are dating around this chick?
Yea, right!
If you have that one home girl who likes to run through dudes, is it supposed to be a test to see if your date will take the bait?
Wow…still playing games?!
Thanks East Point that was interesting..and funny.
East Point's Own
October 15th, 2009
10:22 am
@ Cemeeli The fact is that yes, some men somewhere do run their mouths like women do… but the vast, vast majority of men do not share intimate details of their lives with anyone outher than their mate. I would dare to say that most women talk to at least 1 person other than their mate about the details of their life… Form what I know, experience, and see most men do not.
Wings -() (Human and Divine)
October 15th, 2009
10:23 am
Also, you gotta watch the Dedicated Haters who wanna have something to say about the man/woman that they may have once had a thing for………..that is so suspect.
Like my Moma use to say say, “If you don’t got nothing good to say about someone, don’t say anything at all”.
Bravo – to the Men/Women who did not bash their ex’s to the family…the truth always shows up.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 15th, 2009
10:23 am
“Why do ladies tell the man they are dating all about the one girl in the group who is promiscuous or who is the “man stealer”?”
They do!!! I think to get a feel for what the man’s reaction is going to be…not knowing that the dude is thinking to himself, “write that down, quick, in the rolodex for future reference”…while telling the lady that that is awful and he is seriously disappointed. LOL.
Leggs
October 15th, 2009
10:24 am
“loose lips sink ships…and relationships…and marriages”
^5 That’s the bottom line!!!
@EastP ~ loving your 10:12!
THE INFAMOUS DK
October 15th, 2009
10:28 am
EPO – We are in the dating range of anything goes and standards and morals are low.. Dude I see it all the time.. Best friends cutting eyes.. I have been sexually harrassed by two of my EX’s supposedly best friends.. It funny.. One of em said well at least I know you will commit..
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
10:28 am
@ EastPoint – Call me coy, introvert, secretive…whatever…i have some girlfriends I only deal with on a short leash, and then I’m out! They call me just to make sure I’m aight…then ask about work …or the child…but the man <— is my territory, and I protect my pride…
but…that's just me…Ask Kym about how we do that.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 15th, 2009
10:32 am
LOL @ DK
“The times they are a changin” In my pre-marital days, my lady’s friends would be all flirty and “available” while we were dating and I was committed, but the minute we broke up, they would read me the riot act if I even thought about asking them out. No way they would betray their BFF. I do not understand women, I really don’t, they do not hink like men, that is for sure!!!
i'm swiss
October 15th, 2009
10:33 am
“It’s funny how it’s not just females that talk males do too”
Cee — From my experience if I guy is telling all his business to other guys, he’s not really that into the girl anymore. And if he’s telling his business to other girls, he’s looking for a sympathy phluck.
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
10:34 am
@ EastPoint – Call me coy, introvert, secretive…whatever…i have some girlfriends I only deal with on a short leash, and then I’m out! They call me just to make sure I’m aight…then ask about work …or the child…but the man my territory, and I protect my pride…
..but that’s me…
CAZ
October 15th, 2009
10:34 am
When I was out there on the open market so to speak,when trying to get to know a Lady and the conversation went to previous relationships. Regardless of how they may have ended I always said positive things,it’s a mental thing. First it sends out the vibe that I dated classy ladies and that I was’nt looking for drama. Secondly I never knew who knew who,that womens club is wide & far reaching. Third to much negativity is never a good thing when trying to impress.
East Point's Own
October 15th, 2009
10:34 am
I have been through that probably twice in the last year. At least 2 women I have dated have brought that chick around on a date with me. Actually last night was one of those times… I went out with a chick last night who had just told me Tuesday about the chick who stole the friend’s man and guess who was at dinner with us last night… I was like Wooooowwwww are you for real??? I wanted to get her number just for the heck of it… (but I didn’t do it…this time)
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
10:34 am
One of em said well at least I know you will commit
But you know what Infamous most women feel that way about any married. He is married therefore at least at that time willing to commit.
But you know how I see it, I could not trust a man that cheats on his wife that he is “committed” to even if it was with me. How committed is he really if he cheats? So while women are out there thinking they are stealing other women’s husbands they are actually getting themselves a cheater.
If I cheat on my husband to be with you, I am a cheater. And you should know I just may do it again when the next guy better than you comes along.
THE INFAMOUS DK
October 15th, 2009
10:36 am
Good Call Swiss on the sympathy pluck..
Randy – Besides, as my wise uncle told me years ago, “it does not do any good to complain because statistically 85% of the people you complain to, don’t care…and the other 15% are actually glad that you are miserable”.
Thats some good ish right there..
Melo
October 15th, 2009
10:37 am
if he’s telling his business to other girls, he’s looking for a sympathy phluck
aaaaghhhh those,Swiss..u the best this merning!
East Point's Own
October 15th, 2009
10:38 am
At dinner last night I even asked her ” Is that the chick you told me stole your other friend’s man?” and she said yeah, that’s her…
I was like Woooooow…. are you for real?????
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
10:38 am
Swiss – Don’t get it twisted…I/we can read a “symphathy talk tryna get it”…to a…N’gro who talk to much!! type
There area some motor mouth dudes that are just ‘flyin off the cuff’…look around they are your boss, neighbor, friend, hommie, pizza delivery man…they come to sabotage the “man rule”…lol
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 15th, 2009
10:39 am
@ Raqi re cheating.
What you stated is a simple, obvious, and fairly universal truth. I have never understood how women (or men) get involved with a cheater and then seem totally shocked/surprised when he/she does the same thing to them. Well DUHHHH.
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
10:41 am
the chick who stole the friend’s man
But EastPoint the question is, is she able to keep that man, or those men? She going around stealing but no able to keep them means nothing. Guys that chase women that are known for taking a woman’s man should know that she is probably a one time wonder.
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
10:42 am
Just like men know when a female is vunerable…a women know when a man is trying to talk his way about the capitol B, Kanshavia into her bedroom…
that’s old game..
i'm swiss
October 15th, 2009
10:43 am
“There area some motor mouth dudes that are just ‘flyin off the cuff’…look around they are your boss, neighbor, friend, hommie, pizza delivery man…they come to sabotage the “man rule”…lol”
You know when I say “guys” I’m not including gay dudes, right?
‘Cos otherwise, I haven’t met that many dudes who lay everything out there like that… Maybe it’s just the circle I’m in…?
MsLady D
October 15th, 2009
10:43 am
** luker joining the convo** I agree with what others have said. I don’t tell my GF’s too much about my
relationships and certianly not about my sexual activities in detail. I also limit what I tell my SO about GFs,
I don’t need any curiosity mishaps.
East Point's Own
October 15th, 2009
10:43 am
@Raqi I don’t know all the details… as has been stated here today, I really did not care to hear her friend’s business, and I really wasn’t paying attention when she was babbling on about her… all I caught was ” she likes to pick up dudes when we go out and have sex with them” and ” she got my other friend’s man’s number last week” other than that I was thinking about something else….
Willie Dynamite
October 15th, 2009
10:43 am
Similac – regardless of the so-called popular opinion expressed by the masses on dis here blog. Its some trifling azz women out here that have plenty of BFF’s that they are hoodwinking. It’s also some bum-azz dudes that dont care nothin bout if she is or aint your BFF. Its easy for the real folks to figure it out but for some they will forever be clueless and classless trying to figure out why they keep getting got.
Melo
October 15th, 2009
10:45 am
should know that she is probably a one time wonder
they do know,she the only one that thinks it will be different this time,maybe.
At a certain stage in their lives,guys luv that sport and scoring on that one hot one,then go to their friends to tell and do the tally.
Willie Dynamite
October 15th, 2009
10:47 am
East Pernt – tell the truth mayne, you heard what you needed to hear. Come back in 3 mos and tell us how many out that whole crew you ran through. lol!!!
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
10:47 am
@ Swiss – stop laughing!! lol
I am cause you have none in your circle but then in the same circle you have “the sympathy motor mouth friend”…you know the one that tells so he can get some…? remember him?
Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive
October 15th, 2009
10:49 am
Ladies if a woman ever steps to you and tell you that she took your man, let her know that she actually relieved of your problem and thank her for it. If he cheated he was nothing but a problem.
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
10:49 am
WillieD – i’m sitting down..big brother.
dapps
Tazzee - There's nothing better than love
October 15th, 2009
10:50 am
Morning Folks!
I don’t share the intimate details but my girlfriends and I do talk. Back when our relationship was approaching serious – I told my guy about my blog. I asked if he had any problems with it and he said no. He doesn’t want to read it, but I discuss all my posts concerning him with him.
I would never discuss the intimate stuff – that’s just not my style and I don’t understand women that do. Although I have had some associates that care to share, I can’t do it. I’ve seen pictures of men’s, umm, ‘packages’ that have been sent to them via text and everything.
don’t understand why men do that – don’t they know that picture is going to be seen by a multitude of females?
Cemeeli
October 15th, 2009
10:51 am
oh…lemme clean the mic off for ya’ll folk!
lol
Wings -() (Human and Divine)
October 15th, 2009
10:51 am
Its easy for the real folks to figure it out but for some they will forever be clueless and classless trying to figure out why they keep getting got.
WD – Exactly! Now that’s real……….
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 15th, 2009
10:52 am
@ Cemeeli and I’m swiss
It is a man thing. If dude is bragging about all of his conquests, his “boys” automatically think it is al BS. The quite dudes that say “almost” nothing, but display quiet confidence are the ones everyone thinks are really “laying pipe”.
Man Rule…”the more you talk the less you really do!!!”
i'm swiss
October 15th, 2009
10:52 am
“…you have none in your circle but then in the same circle you have “the sympathy motor mouth friend”…you know the one that tells so he can get some…? remember him?”
Cee — Exactly… I’m not saying guys never talk. I’m saying we don’t talk unless there is an agenda…
If we’re with someone that we love & are happy with, we’re not going to be running our mouths to anyone, as a general rule…
kinderbabe
October 15th, 2009
10:54 am
i can see talking about the relationship in general but not specific bedroom stuff. i know i wouldn’t like it if he dished about what i did in the bedroom. i do have two very close girlfriends that i can talk candidly to when i’m having a relationship challenge. it’s good to have a friend to confide in.:)