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Keep it Between Us

A reader emailed because she wants help getting out of the doghouse with her boyfriend. This past weekend, he heard her on the phone discussing their relationship with a close friend. He was particularly upset because she was  talking about their bedroom activities as well.

His point was that you don’t give explicit details about what we do in private. He doesn’t understand her need to talk about it, especially if there are no problems.  Now he doesn’t think she is trustworthy and he thinks she’s immature.  She is in her early 20s, so it’s probably a hard lesson to learn but at least she learned her lesson.

Would it bother you if someone you were dating constantly talked about your relationship with other people? How would you handle it?

Guys, have you ever dated someone who would discuss your sex life with other people? Did it bother you? If so, why?

Ladies, do you think that it’s good practice to talk about your man’s skills to other women? Why do so many women do that? Would it bother you if your man or husband shared details about your sex life with his friends?

371 comments Add your comment

mytw♥cents WWMy2D?

October 15th, 2009
4:07 pm

MELO Even I might need to dust off my Zulu Decoder ring to understand your 3:30 ish inquiry. But based on your follow up, I’m gonna venture to say you’re kinda equating a lady’s concern with ensuring her man was well pleasured with a lack of self esteem. While I’m not a proponent of the 10 page questionaire after the deed is done, I’m sure the body language has already told her what she needs to know.

OH! And while I’m there in that place where your own query led, I’m gonna say that if you were lyin with her any parts were cold and/lifeless, you may not have quite provided the uhm inspiration she needed to really embrace the moment. But I’m sure that was way way back in Zulu land…before you ever thought to tap into her mind first, so the body would more easily follow. Right?

Professor

October 15th, 2009
4:07 pm

…stepping out.

Have a great evening gang and be safe on your drive home it is dark, misty and gloomy.

Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive

October 15th, 2009
4:08 pm

I called him Coach and not Shthead

SexyCool when I read it I thought you were talking about someone else. You have used shthead a lot recently I thought that was his name. I forgot it used to be coach. LOL

Melo

October 15th, 2009
4:12 pm

so females,u all wondering why dude cheated??

he jus wanted to hit the teacher that was friendly to him..nothing more nothing less…

she looks nice actually!

the wife’s prego had nothing to do with it,at 5 mitnhs,he clkd hit wify and side azz too.

Why uall look at this like its complicated..algebra,statistics,
“so why did he cheat on me,i didnt cook,i didnt give it to him,he dont like my dressing,why or why”"

Its jus sex…thats a mans thinking.

Wings -() (Human and Divine)

October 15th, 2009
4:12 pm

Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive

October 15th, 2009
4:13 pm

I’m gonna venture to say you’re kinda equating a lady’s concern with ensuring her man was well pleasured with a lack of self esteem.

TwoLincolns I am glad you understood him because I did not get that ^ at all from his posts.

Cemeeli

October 15th, 2009
4:16 pm

mytwo – A little birdie tol’ me you had Swedish meat for lunch…is that true?

:lol:

Melo

October 15th, 2009
4:18 pm

mytw♥cents

I’m sure the body language has already told her what she needs to know

if i vaguely remember my dating days,what u descibe there was not uncommon altho it suggests,the woman is only guessing??

no wonder my qstion…

as much as we talk ’bout communication etc in dating, sexual liberation and communication, altho proly common in most marriages is proly not that common in boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, i wld think.

I rember uall saying on this blog that u dont open the flood gates in dating,not yet. Right??

so im thinking,uall walking wounded,and not pleasing him that much..??

Right mytw♥cents???????????????

Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive

October 15th, 2009
4:22 pm

Melo if the communication isn’t already there I don’t think you should be getting married. There is not light switch that get turned on after the vows are made. It needs to already be there.

Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive

October 15th, 2009
4:25 pm

We were sitting eating…

Why would the parents be sitting eating and their six year old child is playing outside alone?

Melo

October 15th, 2009
4:29 pm

Melo if the communication isn’t already there I don’t think you should be getting married

Raqi,i meant sexual communication and if u understood that part,ur premise on geting married is wrong.

This blog opened up my eyes about sex in a way i didnt know,so…

I thoght i enjoyed sexx,i enjoy it more coz we talk even more about it…

Our premise of geting married was not about sexx,not necessarily…

and NO,it wasnt arranged! :lol:

mytw♥cents WWMy2D?

October 15th, 2009
4:29 pm

RAQI It’s a Venture for that very reason! LOL. Either way, I Reject That!

CEE That lil birdie was me so, yeah, let’s go with that…

Cemeeli

October 15th, 2009
4:36 pm

un-uhn…this birdie didn’t have a twocents…. Lol

..i’m off to see the traffic content

~ Be easy…

mytw♥cents WWMy2D?

October 15th, 2009
4:44 pm

WRONG, MELO! That thinking is flawed because your premise is that if she ain’t serving it up often and to everybody she ain’t serving itup well. That’s foolishness… just like some like to cook, and do so often, others can also cook well but maybe only throw down a few times a year… most likely still a tasty treat. ;) People who are dating or just engaged in a physical relationship still need to communicate their desires. You can get an idea of whether or not your partner enjoyed and when if it’s reinforced, you’re likely to get a repeat performance. Now there are some dudes -and I suspect you mighta been one, who are so convinced of their skills and prowess that they ignore what her body tells them and what her mouth speaks. Either they don’t care or think they know what they don’t. Now an in tuned lover may eventually come to know your body better than their own, but that’s another topic…

SexyCool - Status - Cloud4

October 15th, 2009
4:44 pm

Melo – In what way did the blog open your eyes about sex?

Melo

October 15th, 2009
4:47 pm

she ain’t serving it up often and to everybody she ain’t serving itup well

NOPE, i aint thinking that

Melo

October 15th, 2009
4:50 pm

Melo – In what way did the blog open your eyes about sex?

many africans dont know that this cat can be skinned in so many gazzilion ways… :lol:

if that helps….

mytw♥cents..so that line,experience is the best teacher,does it resonate wit u??

SexyCool - Status - Cloud4

October 15th, 2009
4:51 pm

SexyCool is now breaking out Zulu dictionary…

SexyCool - Status - Cloud4

October 15th, 2009
5:03 pm

I’m going to just guess that means you’ve become more creative sexually.

Melo

October 15th, 2009
5:07 pm

i thoght everybody was gone.

U right Scool

CAZ

October 15th, 2009
5:13 pm

Just stumbled onto this site awhile back,enjoyin readin/postin,mainly readin. It’s fun/educational to see what people say/believe,tricky part is decidin fact/fiction,sort alike dating/reships. Alot brings me back to when I was out there playin or bein playd,some I miss most not. Flirty games were cool,mental ones stressfull.