accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Keep it Between Us

A reader emailed because she wants help getting out of the doghouse with her boyfriend. This past weekend, he heard her on the phone discussing their relationship with a close friend. He was particularly upset because she was  talking about their bedroom activities as well.

His point was that you don’t give explicit details about what we do in private. He doesn’t understand her need to talk about it, especially if there are no problems.  Now he doesn’t think she is trustworthy and he thinks she’s immature.  She is in her early 20s, so it’s probably a hard lesson to learn but at least she learned her lesson.

Would it bother you if someone you were dating constantly talked about your relationship with other people? How would you handle it?

Guys, have you ever dated someone who would discuss your sex life with other people? Did it bother you? If so, why?

Ladies, do you think that it’s good practice to talk about your man’s skills to other women? Why do so many women do that? Would it bother you if your man or husband shared details about your sex life with his friends?

371 comments Add your comment

Professor

October 15th, 2009
1:11 pm

@Melo

As for females hating…I was talking to this very accomplished and intelligent lady on Monday. We talked about sisterhood NOT between races, but just women in general we both agreed how mean some women can be as it relates to accomplishments…making each other feel guilty (I see this more with my friends that have children) the mom finally buy something for herself and someone chimes in, well it must be nice I put my money on my children they come first…making her feel guilty or as if she does not put her kids first. My personal pet peeve when I take a three day stay-cation and vist Spa Sydell, go shopping and have a nice lunch or dinner and some women say “it must be nice” in that evil tone.

Lady J

October 15th, 2009
1:14 pm

Hey Kinder, Mo, and Cee-Cee!!! It’s been forever!!!!! Great topics too Wise Diva as I silently lurk periodically!!!!

Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive

October 15th, 2009
1:17 pm

In support of today’s topic everybody go home tonight and do something with your S/O or alone (LOL) that is so juicy you want to tell somebody but you can’t. Just wear it with a smile tomorrow.

:lol:

Tazzee - There's nothing better than love

October 15th, 2009
1:18 pm

Professor – I hate that phrase “must be nice”

I SO want to say “yes it is, VERY nice”…heffa.

Wings -() (Human and Divine)

October 15th, 2009
1:19 pm

My personal pet peeve when I take a three day stay-cation and vist Spa Sydell, go shopping and have a nice lunch or dinner and some women say “it must be nice” in that evil tone.

@Professor – That is so hateful……….I had a beautician that I went to when I first moved here and if she saw a new purse, ring, car…whatever…she would go up on the price (for the same services) I just got tired of it she would always ask…..is that new. Why do women do such things to each other?

Tazzee - There's nothing better than love

October 15th, 2009
1:19 pm

Raqi – I need to take a raincheck and do it tomorrow night ;-)

Diamond

October 15th, 2009
1:22 pm

I never post but I DO NOT share my business with anyone regarding my relationship whether its the SEX, how great he treas me and our disputes. I think somethings should be left between you and that person and my relationship is off topic when it comes to anyone.

Angie

October 15th, 2009
1:25 pm

morning DK! you in here? it’s you and i today. hehe.

i have two close bff’s. i tell them everything. after i marry . . . idk.

Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive

October 15th, 2009
1:27 pm

yes it is

Tazzee that is usually what I say when someone says “it must be nice”. My exact response is “Actually it is”, however I don’t take that statement “it must be nice” negatively because it usually isn’t.

I say it to my friends sometimes and the say it to me. There is nothing negative about it. It’s just an expression of “man I am so busy and preoccupied right now….”.

Angie

October 15th, 2009
1:28 pm

gotta run. will try and respond to you later.

Shondra

October 15th, 2009
1:32 pm

Most the time when girlfriend be talking this and that about her man I’m thinkin’ to myself that she’s mostly lyin’ about him or tryin’ to dis him and make herself look good.

Any girl that talk about such things got an ulterior motive and it’s usually to make theyselves look better to someone…

For real…

czBrat

October 15th, 2009
1:33 pm

ditto Raqi 1:27. that’s my simple response, no matter how they meant it. i just say “yeah it is!”. he!! … i deserve ‘nice’! don’t you?

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 15th, 2009
1:35 pm

Angie – somebody said you was looking for me.. Here I go..

Willie Dynamite

October 15th, 2009
1:36 pm

DK – when the heyal is that dude getting out?

Melo

October 15th, 2009
1:37 pm

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 15th, 2009
1:37 pm

Greetings Shondra and Diamond..

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 15th, 2009
1:39 pm

Willie D – I dont know but I miss ol Mysti-cal..

Hey I was shouting out yesterday about that Devin the dude “Show em”..

Wings -() (Human and Divine)

October 15th, 2009
1:39 pm

A Friend of my posted this on Facebook….just wanted to share………

1. a foot stool elevates you 2. a foot stool allows you to reach something that was out of reach 3. a foot stool allows you to see things you could not see….ain’t God good? Thank God today for those foot stools in your life. BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!”

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 15th, 2009
1:40 pm

Willie D – My Homies out in Cali got me on this Nipsey Hustle cat.

Cemeeli

October 15th, 2009
1:41 pm

Hey there Miss LadyJ! long time…

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 15th, 2009
1:42 pm

Wings – whats your Facebook page again??

Cemeeli

October 15th, 2009
1:42 pm

we had a chick come in here coughing so hard I swear she sounded like a wounded buffalo.

Mo You are a fool!!

wounded buffalo…dag!!!

Tazzee - There's nothing better than love

October 15th, 2009
1:43 pm

Raqi – My friends and I say it to one another all the time in a joking, I’m jealous of you type way. But I’m talking about when folks say it with that tone… It’s usually a ‘hmph…must be nice…’

Diamond – I am QUICK to talk about the good things. My BFF makes the gagging sign while rolling her eyes often, LOL. Then, when/if he does something that ticks me off and I chose to vent she quickly reminds of all those moments that made her gag.

Cloud 9

October 15th, 2009
1:45 pm

I jus saw this topic—interesting so to speak. My gf of year and half when we started dating she would tell her friends about our bedroom st*ff the good’n'bad. I warned her not to divulge or volunteer too much information. She told me to mind my business since it was girl talk. A few weeks later 2 of her friends started sending me facebook messages anonymously and (BTW there is a way to find out who) when she found out she cut them off. She was so upset and I was laughing. They wanted to experience what she’s been talking about…

U live you learn…

She was wrong

October 15th, 2009
1:47 pm

I understand how her boyfriend feels. I was dating a childish 37 year old man who act like he was 2! EVERYTHING he and I did together he would tell her. Even our intimate (sexual) things…When I reprimanded him from doing so he had the audacity to tell me that it is his business and they tell each other every thing…I told him that NO it was NOT her business it was MY business and he had no right to tell her jack! He ‘claimed’ that they tell each other everything…I had to point out to him that she is married and that she does not tell him EVERYTHING like he thinks! So needlessly to say I had to dump him immediately after he told MY business to his ’so called’ best friend!

So yes this girl was wrong from telling their business to her friends..NO Mature person would ever do that!

Wings -() (Human and Divine)

October 15th, 2009
1:48 pm

IDK – Wings – whats your Facebook page again??

I got mad respect for you, but I ‘d rather keep my anonymity….just in case I wanna say something slick. LOL

Truly though take no offense……I don’t know anyone on this blog personally and if they say they know me, tell them to prove it.

SexyCool - Status - Cloud4

October 15th, 2009
1:49 pm

In the security class that I just took, it was apparently this chick’s birthday. She had a crumpled up ONE dollar bill pinned to her chest.

I almost wished I had some cash on me ’cause that was kinda pitiful.

Cemeeli

October 15th, 2009
1:49 pm

Melo – I blog just because of you comment earlier…just had a long lunch with all female colleagues and 2 of the 5 asked me why i don’t converse, lunchit with the “girls” more often…and it made me think of what you said in the morning post.

Why would i just “hang” when i know i’m not a “talker” or going to tell em much about anything…i ate my food and smiled,…then remembered why i am a silent socialite…

Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive

October 15th, 2009
1:50 pm

My husband and I both are wearing yellow socks today. Oh…wait…did I say too much. LOL

It’s raining, raining, raining.

Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive

October 15th, 2009
1:53 pm

I almost wished I had some cash on me ’cause that was kinda pitiful.

LMBO SexyCool. I never got that pin the money on your chest b-day thingy, however if I was into doing that I would have gotten about 10 singles of my own and pinned them on instead of walking around with one crinklely one like that.

Cemeeli

October 15th, 2009
1:53 pm

Swiss lookit 1:47 example’s guy.

…all i had to do was fall back and wait.

Wings -() (Human and Divine)

October 15th, 2009
1:54 pm

In the security class that I just took, it was apparently this chick’s birthday. She had a crumpled up ONE dollar bill pinned to her chest.

Sexy C – people still do that?

Mo (aka Moeisha)

October 15th, 2009
1:54 pm

AWWW SHUCKS!! Is that Lady J bustin in here!! Hey Chica!! How have you been!

Cemeeli – you should have heard that chic…..wounded buffalo indeed

Tazzee – these people tried to act really upset that I wouldnt tell them I was engaged or preggo. First of all, we are CO-WORKERS!! Not friends, co-workers…you get the bare minimum. But depsite all they did throw me a nice shower for both occassions. They kept trying to get me to spill the beans on the sex of Lil Mo but I didnt know (and if I had known I still wouldntve told these nosey biddies)

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 15th, 2009
1:55 pm

Wings – I know it wasnt meant to be for real.. Cause If I know yours you will know mine.. As Lightnin McQueen says “Kachow!!”

SexyCool - Status - Cloud4

October 15th, 2009
1:56 pm

The other thing about the Birthday Dollar is that – I thought people only did that at parties?

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 15th, 2009
1:57 pm

Sexy – What kind of security class?

Cemeeli

October 15th, 2009
1:57 pm

Shondra thanks for the post…kinda reminds me…

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 15th, 2009
1:59 pm

RAqi – My husband and I both are wearing yellow socks today.

What ya’ll got pee on your socks?

SexyCool - Status - Cloud4

October 15th, 2009
1:59 pm

DK – a class I have to take for my security badge here at work.

Wings -() (Human and Divine)

October 15th, 2009
1:59 pm

As Lightnin McQueen says “Kachow!!”

Who is lighting McQueen and what does that mean?

Todd - Dacula

October 15th, 2009
1:59 pm

Private intimate details should be left with the couple. My friends (only two of them) talk about what we like and dislike in relationships, but never in detail or specific about our partners, current or past. It just keep things great between us. My dad once told me ‘if its too good for you to keep secret and private, what make you think someone else would’. Everyone hs someone they can trust…

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 15th, 2009
2:01 pm

Wings – Google Lightnin McQueen..

Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive

October 15th, 2009
2:01 pm

SexyCool I only thought they did it in high school. However I have seen a few random ladies walking around with the money corsages on.

The first my husband saw it we were at Walmart and the lady at the customer service was sporting the b-day bucks. He looked at her like WTH, I whispered to him that it’s her b-day.

no free maketing

October 15th, 2009
2:02 pm

never tell a soul how good your Man/SO/etc. is in the bedroom…..it constitutes free advertising. The ones you have to worry about are your so-called friends that get filled with envy.

Cemeeli

October 15th, 2009
2:02 pm

lol @ Mo Why you didn’t spill the beans?…so they just saw the ring and knew?

Mo (aka Moeisha)

October 15th, 2009
2:03 pm

SCool – your 1:56, i thought people only did that at birthday parties too. oh well….guess she was trying to start her own party

Raqi...The Luckiest Woman Alive

October 15th, 2009
2:03 pm

He said it’s begging even if it is your b-day. LOL

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 15th, 2009
2:03 pm

Sexy – I do internet security so I was like wow she must be at defcon, but she already missed that conference this year…

http://www.defcon.org/

Cemeeli

October 15th, 2009
2:05 pm

@ Wings…you don’t have any kids do you?

off to meet the 401k man.

i'm swiss

October 15th, 2009
2:05 pm

“Swiss lookit 1:47 example’s guy. “

Cee — Yes, and notice that it said the “best friend” was female. This one clearly falls into the “seeking sympathy phluck” category… :lol: