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Misadventures in Atlanta

Unpredictable

7:36 am October 13, 2009, by Wise Diva

I had a date Sunday night with an interesting fellow, I’ll call him Vince.  We met through some mutual friends a few weeks ago.  The evening went pretty well for a first date. I noticed that Vince seemed to have this running theme during our conversation: spontaneity. As in, the more spontaneous a woman is the more attractive she becomes to him.

Interestingly enough, I didn’t get the spontaneous vibe from him at all when we first met. He seemed as if he was a quiet, conservative type. So here is the guy with the Conservative Uniform on, telling me that he likes a woman who can be unpredictable. He “gets bored” easily so if the woman he is dating isn’t able to be spontaneous, they probably wouldn’t get along very well.

Ladies, apparently men don’t want to be stuck with a snorefest, no matter how hot she is. Do you think that you are unpredictable and spontaneous..um, in a completely sane way?

Guys, do you really dig unpredictable women that much? Are you looking for women who can pick up and go on a whim? Do you think that women who play it too safe are too uptight?

How unpredictable are you? Do you consider yourself spontaneous?

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399 comments Add your comment

ImAPeach404

October 13th, 2009
8:48 am

I think “gets bored easily” is code for “this will be my excuse when i’m ready to move on”.
AKA – Loophole

Morning all…

Kym

October 13th, 2009
8:51 am

Good Morning All,

I am upredictable and spontaneous… but predictable. That means I am open to trying new things but there have to boundaries and planning. In other words I am all for a weekend getaway..however, not at 5:02pm on a Friday, given that I have to make arrangements for the care of my son and our pet. So while it is nice to go against the grain..plan it out first. For example, I decided I want to learn to ski. I saw something offered thru a program at school and said shoot why not? However, the time frame for the outing does not match up with my life, so rather than chuck the idea. I went to a ski expo..sponsored by Atlanta’s own African-American ski(nicest people you ever want to meet) So now I am planning my new adventure for next year. Can’t wait!! Oh yeah and I am dragging friends along with me.

Raqi...Feelin' like a Million Dollar Bill

October 13th, 2009
8:54 am

WiseDiva your guy sounds like a loser. Seriously. But that’s just moi opinion.

What part is he playing in all of this? Is “he gets bored easily” to be translated as he is looking for a woman to entertain him while he sits back and enjoy the show? Who is he King Lear and women his jesters?

LOL

Now seriously, yes there should be some spontaneity there. But you know the more responsibilities you take on the harder it is to live on a whim. With responsibilities comes the need for planning and pre-preparation.

I think this is one of the things that so many, men especially, have trouble with in the transitioning of relationships. You meet the perfect person and you do all this “fun” stuff at the spur of the moment then as the days roll by life sets in and requires more planning to do the things you used to do.

Now I ask which is most important? Having a partner that is still open and willing to do those “fun” things, however planned, or a person that can drop whatever they are doing and run off to “Vegas” when the mode strikes their partner?

In the world that I live, we have to plan around our responsibilities. We have jobs, we have kids, we have duties. But we still have fun.

Like today, he asked me if I wanted to have lunch with him. Yes. Therefore I must plan my day accordingly.

It doesn’t make you a bore because you can’t just up and go. What’s make you a bore is when you don’t want to go or do at all.

Raqi...Feelin' like a Million Dollar Bill

October 13th, 2009
8:55 am

ImaPeach, I agree.

Kym, you are correct. We are adults with responsibilites. We have to plan our fun.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 13th, 2009
9:06 am

Hi WD and all.

My take is the same as Raqi’s. For some Bozo to spend a first date talking about what “he wants” in a relationship is not good form and suggests that he may be more than a little self absorbed.

Personally I am attracted to unpredictibility, but have found (painfully a few times) that it is a double edges sword…exciting, but often destructive. One can be scratching one’s head with a big “shyte eating grin” when the lady surprises you in a nice way, and 24 hours later totally blindsides you and jerks the rug out from under you. you are left there sitting on the curb you’ve just been kicked to trying to figure out how you misread the tea leaves.

No one ever said this game is easy (at least no one who knew anything about it).

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
9:07 am

..good morning…

as an explorer, I have a tendency to do thing that are unfamiliar, ‘cause some stuff just needs taken care of immediately!

to have a spontaneous side you have to know how to do things with complete abandonment!…sometimes there is nothing better than just doin’ it…no planning…no overthinking….just go for broke!

And if both individuals are just completely off the Richter scale in the relationship, you might end up with an interesting patent…

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
9:10 am

..i agree with what most have stated…Mr. Vince sounds like he’s looking for a crutch to hang his spontaneous side…it’s broken.

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
9:10 am

Wise — The dude was just saying what he thought you wanted to hear. He’s probably as dull as a butter knife in a psych ward — and knows it — but wants you to think that he’s spontaneous and adventurous so that you will find him more appealing.

As for the topic in general — spontaneity is overrated IMO; just another word for flakey. Sure, it’s fun to shake things up & try new things every now & then, but the operative phrase there is “every now & then.” If I’m going to be with someone long-term, I absolutely want the predictable chic. Call me dull, but I kinda like knowing what to expect of my mate…

ImAPeach404

October 13th, 2009
9:11 am

Lol @ Raqi calling ole boy a loser!

It doesn’t make you a bore because you can’t just up and go. What’s make you a bore is when you don’t want to go or do at all. Well stated

I think Kym and Raqi have pointed out the reason why women sometimes get labeled as “not spontaneous” and “boring”… we tend to be a bit more responsible. If I hit that Mega Millions tonight my spontaneity will shoot the the MF’in roof! But if not… we have to plan our spontaneous moments.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 13th, 2009
9:15 am

@ i’m swiss

“spontaneity is…just another word for flakey” You got that 100% right on, I can show you the t-shirts (but they are DAYUM CUTE and I must have a compulsive need to be abused, lol).

Raqi...Feelin' like a Million Dollar Bill

October 13th, 2009
9:15 am

WiseDiva what does your new possibility do for a living?

If he has a job that calls for any fair amount of responsibility would you say that he is looking for a woman that will live her life around his? Spontaneous, when convenient for him?

Am I being too deep this morning? If so, blame on the lack of sleep. LOL

Any man with a level head that makes even a half way decent living is not going to do just up and risk it putting it all on the line for a day or even a few hours of fun. He will plan accordingly.

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
9:16 am

I absolutely want the predictable chic.

Swiss a.k.a. Mr. Dull…is that what marriage do to you?…

yea sometimes I do things on a whim…also though, i do not ‘fly off the cuff’ irresponsibly. But If he’s the type that’ll kidnap me ‘just cause’…ummm yeah, I’ve already packed the “just in case”…

Kym

October 13th, 2009
9:18 am

@Peach if I won the money I may change my methods but not my motor. I am not going all out buying stuff I don’t need. I hate doing that now. I have a Palm Pilot right now that I never really used, that I should be selling on ebay because of my “addiction” to gadgets. But I digress. If my opinion above makes me boring then so be it. Like I said I am open to new stuff but even given large amounts of cash to do what I wanted, when I wanted, I would have still have to be sensible.

NY2GA, Inc.

October 13th, 2009
9:18 am

@Wise

‘Gets bored easily’

(translation)’I like a woman with a little ‘crazy in her’to keep it interesting because watching paint dry is more exciting than being with me’

So, Wise if that’s you. Have a great time on your next date. If not, I’m with the rest of the ladies. Find another man! LOL!

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
9:20 am

GM All,

I think I’m with the majority so far…. I like predictable. As for most of us, we have responsibilities to adhere to, so the chances of us becoming unpredictable and spontaneous is slim to none. Now I’m all for “spare of the moment” I may be able to work something out with about 6 hours of notice. lol… The days of getting up and dong things on a whim has since gone!

Now if you’re single with no attachments then maybe “Vince” may be the person for you. lol… With him saying he ges bored easily, that kinda confuses me. Does he want you to be some sort of entertainment for him while he watches, if that’s the case then I don’t know what woman would be right for him, maybe a juggler, or flame shooter, someone with some theatrics.

Kym

October 13th, 2009
9:25 am

You know maybe Vince was talking about in bed. Some men folks use the term relationship to refer to one that is purely sexual. Maybe he was hinting that he like a woman that would be unpredictable in bed.

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
9:26 am

“Swiss a.k.a. Mr. Dull…is that what marriage do to you?…”

Cee — You know Mrs. Swiss already had me house-broken a looooooong time ago… :lol:

“But If he’s the type that’ll kidnap me ‘just cause’…ummm yeah, I’ve already packed the “just in case”…”

See, I’m all for this kind of thing, but to me, that’s not spontaneous. It might seem spontaneous to her, because to her it’s a surprise. But I’ve been planning it for weeks.

Professor

October 13th, 2009
9:29 am

Hola,

My thought on this whole unpredictable spontaneous thing is this…most folks read about it, heard about it, and now they are trying to be about it because it’s the new buzzword. I agree with the other postings most “grown” folk have to many balls in the air to STOP and run somewhere. Give me a break, hell even in college you don’t have all of that flexibility. Not to mention in this economy people are doing more planning because of the almighty dollar.

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
9:32 am

Swiss okay…okay…you’re reading me correctly. Yea, i thought maybe i was going a little to far left! :)

I just think there is something incredibly sexy about unpredictabality that’s straight from your significant other!

Raqi...Feelin' like a Million Dollar Bill

October 13th, 2009
9:34 am

I am not saying spontaneity is a bad thing. I like it, I love it…
However responsibilities come first. As we get older that is just how it is.

Right now, honestly speaking, for me and mine, being spontaneous would be during the time slot that have planned to do something together, we abandon those plans and do something that is much more exciting. One Saturday we were headed out to Douglasville to an associate’s event and were passing, get this yall, SixFlags on I-20. The both of us had not been in a very long time, so we abandoned our plans and got off the freeway and went into SixFlags. LOL

Or, getting our love on at a friend’s house in an upstairs room. Or on the dark side of the house outside against a car.

Or calling in sick from work to go watch an afternoon flick instead and make out like teenagers. (if you don’t of have the days stored to make the call, losing that job to get your feel on is just not worth it)

But when you have responsibilities there is a limit to all that you can do that is truly spontaneous. You may have to makes a few calls to get a sitter, or someone to sit in for you at your job so you call pull off that 3 day weekend at Chateau Elan or Hilton Head.

The fun is in what you do and who you do it with. Planned or Not.

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
9:34 am

Dang Swiss you housetrained too?!?! hehehe

I guess when it’s my turn you can “shine” on me too :) .

Professor

October 13th, 2009
9:36 am

I will say this as for being unpredictable if every Saturday night is dinner and a movie mix things up a bit. Or if you always lay across the couch and fart watching football together on Sundays, well maybe you should go fart at a sports bar or something. I hate being in a routine when I am dating, which becomes predictable.

I remember one Saturday morning my ex and I were laying in the bed talking about what we could do that would be fun that day. Out of nowhere he said well lets drive to Chattanooga and go to the aquarium so we did that and had a blast…ate breakfast on the way up…saw the sea creatures…had a nice dinner. I like stuff like that, but that is not an every week thingy.

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
9:38 am

Cemeeli

I with you, when it comes to your significant other, the person that knows your schedule, and would prolly do something spontaneous to fit around you accordingly! Like swiss said, that would be spontaneous for you, but not for him since he’s been planning it.

Raqi...Feelin' like a Million Dollar Bill

October 13th, 2009
9:38 am

Cemeeli in the instances you are talking, for me spontaneity would be him showing up at my office unexpectedly and taking me away for a romantic lunch picnic in the park. But even then I don’t just abandon my work. It’s his surprise appearance that would be spontaneous.

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
9:41 am

Dreamn & Raqi I would hope we are all responsible adults…but being “unpredictable” as in what Swiss and i were getting at, is a MUST for me.

I get what you two are saying as well.

Raqi...Feelin' like a Million Dollar Bill

October 13th, 2009
9:42 am

if every Saturday night is dinner and a movie mix things up a bit

I agree Professor. If we are talking predictable in that sense, then yeah I don’t like predictable.

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
9:42 am

I hate being in a routine when I am dating, which becomes predictable.

I agree Professor,
or even when you have been with someone for soooo loonnggg.. You have to switch it up add some spice.

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
9:48 am

Don’t you guys remember when you were younger (Im going to get stoned for that statement lmao!)

The years when you didnt have a care in the world! No bills, No responsibility, just living! Sometimes I think back and I miss that stage in my life, and other times I love the stage that I’m at right now.. growing..being shaped..it’s exciting!

How easy was it for us to just change plans at the last minute or just get up and go.. (but be back before the street lights came on)!

Hopeless Romantic

October 13th, 2009
9:49 am

Puhleeease. When he comes out of the gate setting expecations that spontaneity is the primary driver for the relationship means that there is no commitment, no kids, be available at a moment’s notice when and if he is ready but don’t expect him to be available because he is just too darn busy having fun flitting around trying to figure out what he wants.

Where is the: I am seeking a fun but mutually respectful relationship where we have shared goals, values and communicate easily with each other.
That’s what I am all about.

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
9:49 am

RandyT and Swiss let me ask you guys a question.

Would you not be the slightest bit concerned about a woman you are dating that can just up and go when ever at the drop of a hat?

Would you not wander if she has any real responsibilities or sense of stability?

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
9:51 am

yea…yea…yea Dream_n monicker fits her SO well. :)

luv it!

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
9:55 am

“Would you not be the slightest bit concerned about a woman you are dating that can just up and go when ever at the drop of a hat?”

Absolutely, Raqi. I would be very concerned, in fact. Like I said, I want the predictable chic — I want to know what to expect of my mate. Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t do new/fun things from time to time, but in general, predictable is good. It means I can count on you.

Melo

October 13th, 2009
9:55 am

You know maybe Vince was talking about in bed.

u damn right!
Being the preacher’s daughter that she is,Wise didnt catch that.

Sivhukile madhoda!!

Professor

October 13th, 2009
9:57 am

Dream_n

You have me wishing that I was 17 again, ohhh I miss those days, however the only way I would go back if I could take the mind and knowledge I have right now. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again living carefree

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
10:01 am

@ Raqi – So is 9:49 insinuating/saying that an adult that can do whatever whenever is issresponsible?

Instability?

still trying to follow this…

SexyCool

October 13th, 2009
10:05 am

Three Words Daily – Know your worth.

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:07 am

Cemeeli No. Not at all.

It’s like you’ve got lil Cee, your house and your job. I don’t think you will just up and fly to Jamaica at an hour’s or even day’s notice without making sure those things are taken care of first.

Hold one sec…I need to step out of office….

Professor

October 13th, 2009
10:10 am

Melo I thought about Vince referring to the bedroom, but I did hate it when guys introduce sex on the first date or convo. It is a huge did I say HUGE turnoff and I know they will never get it from me.

SexyCool

October 13th, 2009
10:10 am

Hopeless – ” I am seeking a fun but mutually respectful relationship where we have shared goals, values and communicate easily with each other.”

^That, combined with consistency and good chemistry is what does it for me.

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
10:11 am

fyi

All kids under 12 in costumes receive free admission to Ga. Aquarium on Oct. 30 from 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. and Oct. 31 from 9 a.m. – 6 p.

Leggs

October 13th, 2009
10:12 am

@Raqi, I remember when I was carefree and got that phone call to go to Jamaica and be ready in 2 hours. No problem. If I got that phone call now, I would have to turn it down. I need to plan lodging for lil leggs, food, pick up from practice, just to name a few. Jamaica just went down the drain…(forehead pluck to responsibilities).

Kym

October 13th, 2009
10:13 am

Heck I am sitting here now planning my Turkey Day. I think I may fly to VA to visit family and spend Xmas at the house. Because I can’t do the cabin thang at Xmas and Turkey Day in VA. Trying to balance.

Leggs

October 13th, 2009
10:13 am

No one should mention sex on the first date. It’s insulting!!!

SexyCool

October 13th, 2009
10:13 am

As to the spontaneity of it all, I can be spontaneous around my responsibilities – which are admittedly few, but responsibilities nonetheless.

Hopeless Romantic

October 13th, 2009
10:15 am

Sexy Cool: Amen to the chemistry and consistency.

Melo

October 13th, 2009
10:16 am

but I did hate it when guys introduce sex on the first date or convo

Hey Prof,hey gang,hey W8!

I hope Wise tells us what she was wearing on the day coz if a woman were to wear smething bordering along those sexual lines,trust me,any man will talk about sex and bring in the innuendos.

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
10:18 am

Professor

I’m with you.. SEX on the first date, even mentioning it is a big NO NO!

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
10:19 am

I don’t think you will just up and fly to Jamaica at an hour’s or even day’s notice without making sure those things are taken care of first.

@ Raqi – Yea, of course not…

But i was “this” type, before and i’ve tweaked and carve my life to be responsible as i gain each reward…(kid, hubby, care of my mother)…AND keep my _____ side ( underline is inserted since the word seems to have it’s adverse affect today)…and as well we all have things that we will be more ______ than the next person.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:20 am

Morning all –

Wise Diva, nice to hear a dating story and glad there are other options other than that young guy. Do you happen to know if Vince is a Sagittarius? That sign is known to thrive off spontenatity.

In any case, I can be predictable, the key word is responsible. I get up and have a general idea of what my day should encompass. However, I can be spontaneous, especially when it comes to last minute trips and stuff. I love ending up in new places. I can definitely get with a guy who is the same way, as long as he handles his obligations too.

It's me - surprise

October 13th, 2009
10:21 am

OT – Guys… I cried in front of my friend this weekend. I’m concerned I freaked him out! When he asked why I was crying I said it was because he is so nice to me. Because he is!!! I don’t even recall what we were talking about but he was being so sweet and thoughtful and nice. We had a rough week and then when we finally got around each other and talked it out… he was really really nice about everything. I just go overwhelmed and became emotional.

We’ve been dating for almost 4 months. Did I open the flood gates too soon? Would this have scared you? Is there anything I can say to ensure him that I’m not a nutty crybaby?

Professor

October 13th, 2009
10:25 am

Hey Melo!

You can be in a Nun habit and some of these jerks will still bring up sex.

Guy: I see you hiding behind all of that cloth
Girl: I believe in keeping myself covered
Guy: I can look at your eyes and tell you are sexy
Girl: Really?
Guy: So what position do you like I like it unpredictable
Girl: (Silently) I will never…ever…be caught laying up with this clown

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:25 am

Am I being too deep this morning? If so, blame on the lack of sleep. LOL

Raqi – I would say so, only because I don’t think he was trying to tell WD he was irresponsible or flaky. You can go to your 9-5 everyday and pay all your bills then wake up on Saturday and decide to go skydiving too.

I guess I’m just giving this guy the benefit of the doubt. One of my best guy friends and I had plenty of weekend adventures on a whim (white water rafting, roller blading in Golden Gate park, skiing in Tahoe) and he never skimped on his obligations. He just logged a lot of miles in his old hatchback!

Kym

October 13th, 2009
10:26 am

@It’s me was this like a cry of relief. Or was this out and out slobbering followed by gasp for air and dry heaves. I think if after 4 months you can’t open up and show all sides of you including your”Save me Superman” side then something is wrong. Now if you are prone to cry all the damn time and whine constantly yeah the crying spell might be a bit much for anyone. But a cry and sigh of relief for the compassion of another. Nawww. your good.

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:27 am

The short answer…

Cemeeli all I am saying is you would need to at least make sure the goldfish gets fed before you takeoff on a whim.

Leggs

October 13th, 2009
10:32 am

@It’s me, how did he respond? Did he put his arm around you and assure you, you’re ok. I don’t think you opened the floodgates too soon. If that’s what you felt then that’s what you felt. Pretty sure he was glad you were comfortable enough to be yourself and not hold back an emotion you needed to release.

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
10:36 am

I see nothing wrong with a single woman/man without any kids, that doesn’t have to work, b/c she/he is set for life being spontaneous. Her/His actions of getting up and leaving will only affect her/him.

We very well have those people living amongst us today. It doesn’t make them negligent or irresponsible. They have the means to do so.

Now on the other hand those that have responsibilities, jobs, kids, mates,school, or any other responsibility just can’t do that.. and maybe dont’t really want to.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:36 am

We’ve been dating for almost 4 months. Did I open the flood gates too soon?

Yes.

Would this have scared you?

Yes.

Is there anything I can say to ensure him that I’m not a nutty crybaby?

No. Keep bringing it up will make it worse. Just move on from it and don’t bring it up again. And start by working on your self-esteem and knowing the guys you date should be nice to you.

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
10:37 am

Melo – something to peak your interest/sub topic.

Spontaneous in someone’s world would be gettin a bit right before a PTA meeting, right?

hey bruh…lol

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:45 am

It’sMe I think your response was all good. Especially since it was a happy cry.

And most men know that woman are cryers. LOL Emotional crying is what we do.

It's me - surprise

October 13th, 2009
10:46 am

Kym – it was a simple cry. Tears flowed and a sniffle or two. It lasted about 2-3 minutes. And when he realized I was crying he immediately took me in for a hug and just held onto me. He did ask me why I was crying and I told him the truth. He just said “Awwww. Don’t cry babe” and then got me a towel. Lol. But the next day he asked in a more serious tone why I cried. Thats when I thought maybe he got a weird vibe.

But you’re right. It’s been long enough and I should feel comfortable opening up.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:50 am

Well, I guess I’ll be the voice of dissention. If a guy told you he was overwhelmed because “you were so nice” to him, you’d probably look at him sideways and wonder what kind of losers or crazy drama he’s put up with in the past.

Can you rebound from it, of course. But him asking again in a serious tone shows that he was freaked.

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:51 am

If a guy told you he was overwhelmed because “you were so nice” to him

That wouldn’t work coming from a guy because it’s a girl thing.

SexyCool - Holding my breath.

October 13th, 2009
10:51 am

I hate being an emotional creature sometimes. Oh, and the overthinking doesn’t help any either.

Leggs

October 13th, 2009
10:52 am

On point, It’sMe. Now forget about it and enjoy the person and your relationship.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:52 am

it’s a girl thing.

No, crying over someone being nice to you is a basketcase thing. Come on now. Let’s have higher standards for ourselves….

It's me - surprise

October 13th, 2009
10:52 am

Leggs – Yes, he did put his arms around me and was very sweet (because he’s SO nice, lol). I didn’t become concerned until the next day when he asked me about it again.

AmazonRed – I don’t have self-esteem issues. I was just overwhelmed by the conversation and the way he chose to handle the weeks activities.

Did I mention I had 2 glasses of wine???

Raqi – Thank you for the kind words. It was a very very happy cry.

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
10:53 am

AmazonRed

I can see where you’re coming from. Some people react differently to others.
Some men I know would have been a little freaked and some men I know would’ve fallen in love.. It depends on how the person received it… i guess

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:53 am

Notice how none of the guys are speaking up on this one…. :lol:

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:54 am

I don’t have self-esteem issues

Uh huh…

Melo

October 13th, 2009
10:55 am

It’s me – surprise

whats making u cry tho?? Something in ur past……

Cemeeli???

is that how it went down this morning??? U been to the PTA….yet or is it tonite???
Im sure the teachers can/will tell coz u be the happy,with ear to ear,smiling chic/mum,asking all the important qstions :lol:

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:55 am

Leggs I agree to she needs to forget about it. She doesn’t need to ruin things trying to read too much into him asking her why she was crying.

I’m telling you It’sMe, guys know that we cry. Even when they don’t understand why.

Now crying about every darn thing or to have your way could be a problem. But to be overcome by an emotion during a conversation or a movie or a newsflash is all good.

Professor

October 13th, 2009
10:56 am

It’sMe,

I agree with ARed post 10:36

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:56 am

Leggs, you got mail.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:56 am

I didn’t become concerned until the next day when he asked me about it again.

I’m just saying don’t discount that. But yes, move on from it. You explained it, that’s what it will have to be now.

It's me - surprise

October 13th, 2009
10:58 am

AmazonRed if a man told me that he was overwhelmed because I was so nice to him I would wonder what he’s had to deal with in the past but it wouldn’t make me look at him sideways.

SexyCool – I overthink too. Obviously!

Leggs – thank you!

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:59 am

Well then call me the basketcase because I have been known to get emotional from kind acts that give me comfort after enduring an overwhelming situation or situations.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:00 am

Raqi – Will do. ;)

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
11:00 am

Sometimes crying is just the body’s way of release.

Been Thru It All

October 13th, 2009
11:01 am

nter your comments here
probably would haved freaked me out after 4 weeks…im good with you after 4 months…

East Point's Own

October 13th, 2009
11:01 am

With the exception of women with a child, I have to say that I don’t get very far with women who need to plan everything in advance. Today is Tuesday, I won’t know what I want to do this weekend until Fri or Sat… so stop asking…
If you need a week or more to plan before you can go do anything with me, then I think you are doing too much, or you think you are doing too much, or you are dating too many people. Most folks I have met who have to plan everything weeks in advance are some of the most no-life havingest people ever. I have dated women with a child who are more flexible than some single unattached women who just for whatever reason could not function unless they had every minute of their life planned out for the next 7 days.

http://hispointofview.com

It's me - surprise

October 13th, 2009
11:02 am

Melo – I think it was the wine :)

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
11:03 am

Im sure the teachers can/will tell coz u be the happy,with ear to ear,smiling chic/mum,asking all the important qstions

lol @ Melo 1st Question: Why aren’t there MORE college interns co-assisting the homeroom teachers? And how can we incorporate the partnership?!!

the students be wispering…Ms. Cee is the most participant parent in the classroom…taking cupcakes to the kids for no reason…jus cause!

Kym

October 13th, 2009
11:05 am

@Its Me..ok then no biggie. What you can do or note for the future. Is that next day when he asked why did you cry? Say..”Well it was a very stressful week, and sometimes when things are coming at you all at once and you are pulled into so many directions it is really comforting to be around someone who has such a strong and comforting demeanor(<<<<<ego stroke) to just remind you that this too will pass. Done. No weird vibe.

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
11:06 am

It’s Me — I don’t know if “freaked out” is the proper description, but I would definitely be curious as to what you had experienced previously that led you to get so emotional over me showing kindness. Wouldn’t think you were a nutcase, per se, but it would definitely throw me a bit. Having said that, I wouldn’t make a big deal of it — just forget it & proceed as normal. The bigger deal you make of it, the bigger deal it will be to him.

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
11:08 am

@ Kym – Is your son reading the “Diary of Wimpy Kid” series?

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
11:10 am

Cemeeli

High Five…. Though I don’t bake (yet)…

When I pick up my girlie.. It’s so cute b/c the kids are all like. Hi Ayahna’s mom.. or look at my shoes Ayahna’s mom… or can you buy me that dress Ayahna wore lol… it cracks me up. I love interactin with the kids… hell i have to know who my princess is around 8 hrs out of a day! Though I’m prolly the youngest mom.. I’m definately the most hands on!

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:11 am

Say..”Well it was a very stressful week, and sometimes when things are coming at you all at once and you are pulled into so many directions it is really comforting to be around someone who has such a strong and comforting demeanor(<<<<<ego stroke) to just remind you that this too will pass.

This one is good. I think the follow up with the “because you were nice to me” response made it seem like there is something in the past there. Men are logical, to need relief after a trying week makes sense.

It's me - surprise

October 13th, 2009
11:11 am

Raqi – I think you’ve hit on something I couldn’t think to communicate… I was emotional due to a kind act!

Kym, great advice. Hopefully I will never have to use it.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:12 am

but I would definitely be curious as to what you had experienced previously that led you to get so emotional over me showing kindness. Wouldn’t think you were a nutcase, per se, but it would definitely throw me a bit. Having said that, I wouldn’t make a big deal of it — just forget it & proceed as normal. The bigger deal you make of it, the bigger deal it will be to him

swiss – Now watch how well received this will be coming from a guy, rather than mean ole AmazonRed. ;) :lol:

Kym

October 13th, 2009
11:12 am

@Cee–No he is into Artemis Fowl and anything Sci-Fi. I just introduced him to the Maximumn Ride Series by James Patterson-his first book was confiscated at school..for reading in class. Also, Stan Lee has developed some new comicbook for Disney that is only on I-Tunes called Time Jumpers…if Stan Lee makes it he is hooked.

The Truth

October 13th, 2009
11:13 am

Good evening folks.

On topic: Ol boy was probing to see if you were a freak. Since most women conform to a guys wants he was trying to guide you in that direction. You should have simply asked him what was the last spontaneous thing he did and then listen for the silence. Reminds me of chicks that would say they’re into plays and concert and then when you asked them when they last went, silence.

As for dudes bringing up sex sometimes if theres no connection shooting for the azz is the only hope. It’s no different than a chick telling a guy to take her out when she’s not interested. You throw out your ace a spade and I throw out mine.

Its me, you prolly freaked him out. I have a rule that I refuse to talk with a chick thats crying, unless its a major event such as death or such. I guess if I was him i’d be wondering what the hellz the other guys you’ve been dating have done to you where just being nice brings you to tears. I’d think youve been putting yourself through the ringer, but thats just me.

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
11:15 am

“swiss – Now watch how well received this will be coming from a guy, rather than mean ole AmazonRed.”

That’s just because I said it nicely, ARed. So nicely, in fact, that… [sniff]… I’m … [sniff]… getting a little misty… [sniff]… over here… ;-) :lol:

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

October 13th, 2009
11:15 am

Wouldn’t think you were a nutcase, per se, but it would definitely throw me a bit. Having said that, I wouldn’t make a big deal of it — just forget it & proceed as normal. The bigger deal you make of it, the bigger deal it will be to him.

Couldn’t agree more Swiss.

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
11:17 am

“As for dudes bringing up sex sometimes if theres no connection shooting for the azz is the only hope. It’s no different than a chick telling a guy to take her out when she’s not interested. You throw out your ace a spade and I throw out mine.”

Ah, Truth… I missed you, bruh. :lol: Hope you’re doing well, man…

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
11:18 am

So Swiss a woman expressing her appreciation thru tears from something nice that you did for her makes her kinda, sorta a nutcase? Really?

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:18 am

LOL @ swiss and Truth.

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
11:19 am

Dream_n – I like your baby’s name. And at that age it’s so cute and sweet. They luuuuv hugs!!!

I love kids! Always have…now my brother is dfferent story…this pass Sunday he asked me why i hadn’t allowed my son to rejoin the children’s choir cause they need more boys (he has 3)…and i chuckled because he’s now playing the drums for the music dept. whereas a year or two ago he wouldn’t be inclined to play even though he’s musically gifted.

….then after he tried to “shine” on me and my son…he says…”Sis you know i don’t like kids like that!” lol

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
11:19 am

The Truth

You have to shoot for something… that’s just wrong and funny at the same time..

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:20 am

Raqi – There is a difference…doing someTHING nice is one thing. A guy wants to see you react because you brought her flowers or a ring. Because you are nice TO me is something different. Getting emotional because he hugged you after a long day can definitely be seen as unnerving!

Kym

October 13th, 2009
11:20 am

@ It’s me..I do agree move passed it. Keep Moving Forward.(Disney has truly invaded my life).

Waving and laughing at Truth..what up big bro?

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