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Unpredictable

I had a date Sunday night with an interesting fellow, I’ll call him Vince.  We met through some mutual friends a few weeks ago.  The evening went pretty well for a first date. I noticed that Vince seemed to have this running theme during our conversation: spontaneity. As in, the more spontaneous a woman is the more attractive she becomes to him.

Interestingly enough, I didn’t get the spontaneous vibe from him at all when we first met. He seemed as if he was a quiet, conservative type. So here is the guy with the Conservative Uniform on, telling me that he likes a woman who can be unpredictable. He “gets bored” easily so if the woman he is dating isn’t able to be spontaneous, they probably wouldn’t get along very well.

Ladies, apparently men don’t want to be stuck with a snorefest, no matter how hot she is. Do you think that you are unpredictable and spontaneous..um, in a completely sane way?

Guys, do you really dig unpredictable women that much? Are you looking for women who can pick up and go on a whim? Do you think that women who play it too safe are too uptight?

How unpredictable are you? Do you consider yourself spontaneous?

399 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:21 am

You should have simply asked him what was the last spontaneous thing he did and then listen for the silence.

Truth – You know I love it. :lol:

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
11:23 am

Maximumn Ride Series by James Patterson

@ Kym – I need to look that up.

We attended a Dairy party yesturday while we were off that’s what made me ask you.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:23 am

I guess if I was him i’d be wondering what the hellz the other guys you’ve been dating have done to you where just being nice brings you to tears. I’d think youve been putting yourself through the ringer, but thats just me

That’s why we are meant for each other boo. ;)

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
11:25 am

So only materials acts of kindness warrant happy tears? Really?

Heck I can think of several kind acts extended to me that were not of the material nature that really touched my heart. I guess I am “different” like that.

Leggs

October 13th, 2009
11:28 am

After dating only 4 months and he did a particular “kind act” that truly helped you out and alleviated some stress, cry if that’s what you want. Not many would do something like that after only 4 months. Yeah, I’m reading between the lines!

@ARed, I am the original SexyLeggs! Thanks for spelling yours with one “g”. Haaaaa!

Kym

October 13th, 2009
11:28 am

@Cee–Yeah I got emails from Borders about those parties. My kid is waiting on the last Artemis book.

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
11:30 am

Leggs I guess you and I are two of the exceptions that can be deeply touched by kindness that does not come in a little blue box.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:31 am

So only materials acts of kindness warrant happy tears? Really?

Raqi – You’re over reading again. No one said that. But we are saying that someone crying over someone being NICE to them (which WAS the reason stated), sounds a little crazy. Disagree if you want, but that’s how some of us feel and that’s okay.

My mom cried once when I was 15 because I was making Jiffy Muffins and she remembers when I was so small I couldn’t reach the counter. Was it sweet? Sure. Was it a little nutty? Sure. :lol:

Did I disown her as a mom? No. But it’s definitely a story I still remember and love to tell! :lol:

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
11:31 am

Cemeeli

Thank you,

Ohhh I like the idea of introducing her to an instrument. I didn’t want to bombard her with alot of things with her only being 3. I am still considering the martial arts that Kym was talking about. I may get to that when she’s done with the dance class I signed her up for.
They’re like sponges.. even at your boys age of 10. I’m sure he’s well rounded..

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:32 am

@ARed, I am the original SexyLeggs! Thanks for spelling yours with one “g”. Haaaaa

Leggs – Yes, you are the OG. Just following in your footsteps. ;)

Johnny DangerDawg

October 13th, 2009
11:35 am

I think Eddie Murphy explains it well when he talks about Salad B*****s in his classic “Raw” routine.

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
11:41 am

“So Swiss a woman expressing her appreciation thru tears from something nice that you did for her makes her kinda, sorta a nutcase? Really?”

Raqi — I wouldn’t immediately assume she was a nutcase, no — but only 4 months in, not knowing her that well, I would definitely have questions. Did I do something that she’s not telling me? Did something happen in her past? Is she this emotional about everything? I wouldn’t dwell on it & as long as she didn’t prove to be unstable going forward, I wouldn’t think anything of it.

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
11:46 am

Dream_n – Yes you are correct, we can not overwhelm them with extra activities…I remember doing a too much with the bitty one myself…we both had to scale back on some activities…

When i was working catering weddings…he was playing soccer, baseball and basketball..and with my main job…all of it became a bit too much!

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
11:47 am

i want some spaghetti.

Melo

October 13th, 2009
11:47 am

crying coz smebody has been kind tells a story.Really!

its either i want to be there to hear the stories adnauseaum or I dont.

and believe me,those past stories are not necessarily happy ones.

It's me - surprise

October 13th, 2009
11:47 am

I appreciate all of the advice and comments. Thank you!

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
11:51 am

I appreciate all of the advice and comments. Thank you!

It’s probably thinking…Umm, why i gotta be the case study!?!

she dipped! lol :)

Professor

October 13th, 2009
11:52 am

****and believe me,those past stories are not necessarily happy ones.****

I don’t do past stories…that is a no no for me

The Truth

October 13th, 2009
11:53 am

Hey Dream, Ared, Melo, Swiss. Glad I wasnt the only one that read that sideways.

Swiss, I’m good over here, just saoking up the sand. Hows the Mrs Swiss doing? Any little Swisses in the works?

Melo, lmao.

Director

October 13th, 2009
11:53 am

Guys who request spontaneity are usually the ones who lack social skills. They’re looking for direction. Someone to plan the outings so they wouldn’t have to. More than likely, the suggestions they would make would be either too boring or redundant.

A dude

October 13th, 2009
11:58 am

Guys absolutely LOVE spontaneous women! There is nothing more sexy in the world than a women who is spontaneous…in a sane way, that is.

Lurkerette

October 13th, 2009
12:01 pm

Spontaneity is not talking about it, its being about it, if dude talked about it more than likely he really wasn’t spontaneous.

I cry after good sex, if it’s really really good! lol

Oh Hey everybody!

Professor

October 13th, 2009
12:01 pm

Whatever happened to Gerald? I think that was his moniker the one who wanted to date his ex best friend or something.

Lurkerette

October 13th, 2009
12:03 pm

JDD – Do tell the story of “Raw” – not familiar with it.

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
12:05 pm

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
12:07 pm

sorry i hit enter to fast lol…

No past stories? Why not lol

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
12:07 pm

Truth — Glad to hear it. The Mrs. & I are living the dream — busy house hunting & phlucking like bunnies… :lol: No mini-swisses in the works yet, but we’re practicing hard to get ready for the show (going through 2-a-days, so to speak).

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
12:10 pm

Director – I agree…

Lunchtime…yay!

Professor

October 13th, 2009
12:15 pm

Hey Dream

Let me school you right quick…lol. I just feel that if you meet someone and you are marching forward…why tell all of these war stories (sometimes it is a turnoff and it is one-sided). Many people believe that you attract what you are, or you have bad judgment so to me it shows bad judgment to bring on the war stories early in the relationship. Plus I have a rule, which applies to all components of my life…”keep moving forward and don’t dwell in the past.” Live…learn…move on.

Poppa Grande

October 13th, 2009
12:19 pm

All that I have to say about Spontaneity, is be careful what you ask for.

I like a surprise here and there.

However, those who place a major value on spontaneity are more prone to infidelity. There are studies that prove it. Most men that I know that cheated on the wives loved the unpredictability. You can’t always be unpredictable in married life, especially if you have responsibilities.

czBrat

October 13th, 2009
12:29 pm

Good Noon All!

Just getting out of meetings and surely everyone is gone to lunch. Anywho: I don’t consider myself spontaneous, and I certainly don’t think I’m unpredictable, mostly because I pretty much know what I’m gonna do next. :)

Having said that, I will share this recent exchange:
me: raving about how good the food is when we went out for breakfast.
him: good. so we’ll eat here again?
me: NO!
him: ???????
me: this is good, but you can make it for me at home anytime.
him: see, that’s why you’re so unpredictable. had i not asked that follow-up question i would have assumed you’d like to eat here again.
me: good thing you’re learing to follow-up.

The Truth

October 13th, 2009
12:29 pm

Poppa, I can believe it. It’s like folks saying they get bored easily. Something isnt quite right. Thing is when they’re left alone they dont do jack but sit around bored.

Swiss, glad you’re keeping up a good training program. Just remember, she has to finish her sets before you. LOL

Folks, was that a good Monday Night game or what? I stayed up til 3am but it was worth it. The Sanchise is the ish, though I could have sworn he threw for more yardage then he did.

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
12:30 pm

Professor

lol…

See I agree with you! Early on I would never go on and on about the negative aspects of my past. That’s a turn off for me and I’m sure most men don’t want to hear that! But gradually moving on later down the road… I think its healthy and funny to have that sort of conversation. When my current and I sat down and talked abuot his past and my past.. There was some very embarrassing and funny stuff I learned as I’m sure he learned about me also. (didnt tell everything though! ya know some stuff you just gotta keep secret lmao!)

lovelyliz

October 13th, 2009
12:32 pm

Be weary of the guy with the Conservative Uniform. A few are real, but in my expereience they only like predictable women who put out and shut up. Yoou know, an angel on the street but a freak……………….

SexyCool...At about Cloud 3 and rising

October 13th, 2009
12:33 pm

Taz – Apparently you were right about OSS being last Saturday. My sis gave me bad information. Dernit.

Professor

October 13th, 2009
12:33 pm

Dream I agree…leave some bones in the closet!!!

SexyCool...At about Cloud 3 and rising

October 13th, 2009
12:35 pm

Now…good people…tell me a good place for a few mid thirties couples to go dancing – preferably somewhere with decent food, plenty of seating and a live band.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 13th, 2009
12:39 pm

I’m very emotional. I mist up at roller derby and wrestling matches even. If the ATT commercial comes on with the little girl looking for her dog, I’m liable to bawl for an hour ;-)

Kym

October 13th, 2009
12:41 pm

@Truth it was a great game. I an glad Miami pulled it out in the end. I like their coach. I am not a fan of Rex(My daddy was….) Ryan. So it was good to see him get kicked in the teeth. RickyW and RonnieB Williams were awesome last night!!!

The Truth

October 13th, 2009
12:41 pm

SexyCooll, is Sambucas still open? Then again I cant remember if they have a dance floor.

Dood

October 13th, 2009
12:44 pm

I would not want unpredictable, ability to be spontaneous yet responsible yes. Unless you’re looking for a few nights of fun.

Sounds like this guy set a trap for you. He comes off boring so there is little natural interest. Yet he says that he likes someone unpredictable. It sets up a challenge in your mind. Are you boring? Of course not, nobody likes boring. So you have to earn his attention and thus puts the chase in your mind. Well played by him.

SexyCool...At about Cloud 3 and rising

October 13th, 2009
12:46 pm

Thought about Sambuca’s – can’t remember there being a dance floor from the last time I was there.

Poppa Grande

October 13th, 2009
12:52 pm

SexyCool /strong>

The wife and I love Loca Luna for dancing. Of course, it is latin based so there is plenty of salsa.

But then again, the wife and I have enjoyed everything from Bell Bottoms to Johnny’s Hideaway

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
12:52 pm

“Yoou know, an angel on the street but a freak………”

lovelyliz — Have we met? :lol:

Kym

October 13th, 2009
12:57 pm

Ohh yeah..Can someone please tell me when Lenox Square turned into hooker central? Now maybe I picked the wrong day or time or something to go over that way..but err. Saturday was too much. I know the BET awards were in town but still. It was wayyyy over the top Saturday.

Poppa Grande

October 13th, 2009
1:01 pm

Kym

Saturdays are pretty crazy at Lenox. I learned my lesson long ago. I try to only go during the week, now.

However, some of the things that we saw this weekend were way over the top. There were outfits that would have been indecent exposure on South Beach. We met a friend that was in town and staying the the Marriott Marquis downtown.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 13th, 2009
1:02 pm

@ PG

I’ve heard a lot of good things about LocA Luna. Where is it exactly. Re Johnny’s…it and I already have too much of a history ;-)

Poppa Grande

October 13th, 2009
1:03 pm

Loca Luna is in Amsterdam Walk area near Piedmont Park.

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
1:04 pm

“Just remember, she has to finish her sets before you. LOL”

Very true. And since I’m a seasoned veteran (man-wh*re), and she’s the young up-and-coming franchise baller (all puns fully intended), I make sure she gets as many reps as possible. :lol:

Professor

October 13th, 2009
1:05 pm

Kym Saturday was WAY TOO much at Lenox! Lucky for me I had already done my shopping at Nordstrom (Phipps) and the few things I wanted to look at in Lenox was not major.