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Unpredictable

I had a date Sunday night with an interesting fellow, I’ll call him Vince.  We met through some mutual friends a few weeks ago.  The evening went pretty well for a first date. I noticed that Vince seemed to have this running theme during our conversation: spontaneity. As in, the more spontaneous a woman is the more attractive she becomes to him.

Interestingly enough, I didn’t get the spontaneous vibe from him at all when we first met. He seemed as if he was a quiet, conservative type. So here is the guy with the Conservative Uniform on, telling me that he likes a woman who can be unpredictable. He “gets bored” easily so if the woman he is dating isn’t able to be spontaneous, they probably wouldn’t get along very well.

Ladies, apparently men don’t want to be stuck with a snorefest, no matter how hot she is. Do you think that you are unpredictable and spontaneous..um, in a completely sane way?

Guys, do you really dig unpredictable women that much? Are you looking for women who can pick up and go on a whim? Do you think that women who play it too safe are too uptight?

How unpredictable are you? Do you consider yourself spontaneous?

399 comments Add your comment

Professor

October 13th, 2009
10:25 am

Hey Melo!

You can be in a Nun habit and some of these jerks will still bring up sex.

Guy: I see you hiding behind all of that cloth
Girl: I believe in keeping myself covered
Guy: I can look at your eyes and tell you are sexy
Girl: Really?
Guy: So what position do you like I like it unpredictable
Girl: (Silently) I will never…ever…be caught laying up with this clown

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:25 am

Am I being too deep this morning? If so, blame on the lack of sleep. LOL

Raqi – I would say so, only because I don’t think he was trying to tell WD he was irresponsible or flaky. You can go to your 9-5 everyday and pay all your bills then wake up on Saturday and decide to go skydiving too.

I guess I’m just giving this guy the benefit of the doubt. One of my best guy friends and I had plenty of weekend adventures on a whim (white water rafting, roller blading in Golden Gate park, skiing in Tahoe) and he never skimped on his obligations. He just logged a lot of miles in his old hatchback!

Kym

October 13th, 2009
10:26 am

@It’s me was this like a cry of relief. Or was this out and out slobbering followed by gasp for air and dry heaves. I think if after 4 months you can’t open up and show all sides of you including your”Save me Superman” side then something is wrong. Now if you are prone to cry all the damn time and whine constantly yeah the crying spell might be a bit much for anyone. But a cry and sigh of relief for the compassion of another. Nawww. your good.

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:27 am

The short answer…

Cemeeli all I am saying is you would need to at least make sure the goldfish gets fed before you takeoff on a whim.

Leggs

October 13th, 2009
10:32 am

@It’s me, how did he respond? Did he put his arm around you and assure you, you’re ok. I don’t think you opened the floodgates too soon. If that’s what you felt then that’s what you felt. Pretty sure he was glad you were comfortable enough to be yourself and not hold back an emotion you needed to release.

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
10:36 am

I see nothing wrong with a single woman/man without any kids, that doesn’t have to work, b/c she/he is set for life being spontaneous. Her/His actions of getting up and leaving will only affect her/him.

We very well have those people living amongst us today. It doesn’t make them negligent or irresponsible. They have the means to do so.

Now on the other hand those that have responsibilities, jobs, kids, mates,school, or any other responsibility just can’t do that.. and maybe dont’t really want to.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:36 am

We’ve been dating for almost 4 months. Did I open the flood gates too soon?

Yes.

Would this have scared you?

Yes.

Is there anything I can say to ensure him that I’m not a nutty crybaby?

No. Keep bringing it up will make it worse. Just move on from it and don’t bring it up again. And start by working on your self-esteem and knowing the guys you date should be nice to you.

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
10:37 am

Melo – something to peak your interest/sub topic.

Spontaneous in someone’s world would be gettin a bit right before a PTA meeting, right?

hey bruh…lol

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:45 am

It’sMe I think your response was all good. Especially since it was a happy cry.

And most men know that woman are cryers. LOL Emotional crying is what we do.

It's me - surprise

October 13th, 2009
10:46 am

Kym – it was a simple cry. Tears flowed and a sniffle or two. It lasted about 2-3 minutes. And when he realized I was crying he immediately took me in for a hug and just held onto me. He did ask me why I was crying and I told him the truth. He just said “Awwww. Don’t cry babe” and then got me a towel. Lol. But the next day he asked in a more serious tone why I cried. Thats when I thought maybe he got a weird vibe.

But you’re right. It’s been long enough and I should feel comfortable opening up.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:50 am

Well, I guess I’ll be the voice of dissention. If a guy told you he was overwhelmed because “you were so nice” to him, you’d probably look at him sideways and wonder what kind of losers or crazy drama he’s put up with in the past.

Can you rebound from it, of course. But him asking again in a serious tone shows that he was freaked.

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:51 am

If a guy told you he was overwhelmed because “you were so nice” to him

That wouldn’t work coming from a guy because it’s a girl thing.

SexyCool - Holding my breath.

October 13th, 2009
10:51 am

I hate being an emotional creature sometimes. Oh, and the overthinking doesn’t help any either.

Leggs

October 13th, 2009
10:52 am

On point, It’sMe. Now forget about it and enjoy the person and your relationship.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:52 am

it’s a girl thing.

No, crying over someone being nice to you is a basketcase thing. Come on now. Let’s have higher standards for ourselves….

It's me - surprise

October 13th, 2009
10:52 am

Leggs – Yes, he did put his arms around me and was very sweet (because he’s SO nice, lol). I didn’t become concerned until the next day when he asked me about it again.

AmazonRed – I don’t have self-esteem issues. I was just overwhelmed by the conversation and the way he chose to handle the weeks activities.

Did I mention I had 2 glasses of wine???

Raqi – Thank you for the kind words. It was a very very happy cry.

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
10:53 am

AmazonRed

I can see where you’re coming from. Some people react differently to others.
Some men I know would have been a little freaked and some men I know would’ve fallen in love.. It depends on how the person received it… i guess

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:53 am

Notice how none of the guys are speaking up on this one…. :lol:

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:54 am

I don’t have self-esteem issues

Uh huh…

Melo

October 13th, 2009
10:55 am

It’s me – surprise

whats making u cry tho?? Something in ur past……

Cemeeli???

is that how it went down this morning??? U been to the PTA….yet or is it tonite???
Im sure the teachers can/will tell coz u be the happy,with ear to ear,smiling chic/mum,asking all the important qstions :lol:

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:55 am

Leggs I agree to she needs to forget about it. She doesn’t need to ruin things trying to read too much into him asking her why she was crying.

I’m telling you It’sMe, guys know that we cry. Even when they don’t understand why.

Now crying about every darn thing or to have your way could be a problem. But to be overcome by an emotion during a conversation or a movie or a newsflash is all good.

Professor

October 13th, 2009
10:56 am

It’sMe,

I agree with ARed post 10:36

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:56 am

Leggs, you got mail.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
10:56 am

I didn’t become concerned until the next day when he asked me about it again.

I’m just saying don’t discount that. But yes, move on from it. You explained it, that’s what it will have to be now.

It's me - surprise

October 13th, 2009
10:58 am

AmazonRed if a man told me that he was overwhelmed because I was so nice to him I would wonder what he’s had to deal with in the past but it wouldn’t make me look at him sideways.

SexyCool – I overthink too. Obviously!

Leggs – thank you!

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
10:59 am

Well then call me the basketcase because I have been known to get emotional from kind acts that give me comfort after enduring an overwhelming situation or situations.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:00 am

Raqi – Will do. ;)

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
11:00 am

Sometimes crying is just the body’s way of release.

Been Thru It All

October 13th, 2009
11:01 am

nter your comments here
probably would haved freaked me out after 4 weeks…im good with you after 4 months…

East Point's Own

October 13th, 2009
11:01 am

With the exception of women with a child, I have to say that I don’t get very far with women who need to plan everything in advance. Today is Tuesday, I won’t know what I want to do this weekend until Fri or Sat… so stop asking…
If you need a week or more to plan before you can go do anything with me, then I think you are doing too much, or you think you are doing too much, or you are dating too many people. Most folks I have met who have to plan everything weeks in advance are some of the most no-life havingest people ever. I have dated women with a child who are more flexible than some single unattached women who just for whatever reason could not function unless they had every minute of their life planned out for the next 7 days.

http://hispointofview.com

It's me - surprise

October 13th, 2009
11:02 am

Melo – I think it was the wine :)

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
11:03 am

Im sure the teachers can/will tell coz u be the happy,with ear to ear,smiling chic/mum,asking all the important qstions

lol @ Melo 1st Question: Why aren’t there MORE college interns co-assisting the homeroom teachers? And how can we incorporate the partnership?!!

the students be wispering…Ms. Cee is the most participant parent in the classroom…taking cupcakes to the kids for no reason…jus cause!

Kym

October 13th, 2009
11:05 am

@Its Me..ok then no biggie. What you can do or note for the future. Is that next day when he asked why did you cry? Say..”Well it was a very stressful week, and sometimes when things are coming at you all at once and you are pulled into so many directions it is really comforting to be around someone who has such a strong and comforting demeanor(<<<<<ego stroke) to just remind you that this too will pass. Done. No weird vibe.

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
11:06 am

It’s Me — I don’t know if “freaked out” is the proper description, but I would definitely be curious as to what you had experienced previously that led you to get so emotional over me showing kindness. Wouldn’t think you were a nutcase, per se, but it would definitely throw me a bit. Having said that, I wouldn’t make a big deal of it — just forget it & proceed as normal. The bigger deal you make of it, the bigger deal it will be to him.

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
11:08 am

@ Kym – Is your son reading the “Diary of Wimpy Kid” series?

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
11:10 am

Cemeeli

High Five…. Though I don’t bake (yet)…

When I pick up my girlie.. It’s so cute b/c the kids are all like. Hi Ayahna’s mom.. or look at my shoes Ayahna’s mom… or can you buy me that dress Ayahna wore lol… it cracks me up. I love interactin with the kids… hell i have to know who my princess is around 8 hrs out of a day! Though I’m prolly the youngest mom.. I’m definately the most hands on!

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:11 am

Say..”Well it was a very stressful week, and sometimes when things are coming at you all at once and you are pulled into so many directions it is really comforting to be around someone who has such a strong and comforting demeanor(<<<<<ego stroke) to just remind you that this too will pass.

This one is good. I think the follow up with the “because you were nice to me” response made it seem like there is something in the past there. Men are logical, to need relief after a trying week makes sense.

It's me - surprise

October 13th, 2009
11:11 am

Raqi – I think you’ve hit on something I couldn’t think to communicate… I was emotional due to a kind act!

Kym, great advice. Hopefully I will never have to use it.

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:12 am

but I would definitely be curious as to what you had experienced previously that led you to get so emotional over me showing kindness. Wouldn’t think you were a nutcase, per se, but it would definitely throw me a bit. Having said that, I wouldn’t make a big deal of it — just forget it & proceed as normal. The bigger deal you make of it, the bigger deal it will be to him

swiss – Now watch how well received this will be coming from a guy, rather than mean ole AmazonRed. ;) :lol:

Kym

October 13th, 2009
11:12 am

@Cee–No he is into Artemis Fowl and anything Sci-Fi. I just introduced him to the Maximumn Ride Series by James Patterson-his first book was confiscated at school..for reading in class. Also, Stan Lee has developed some new comicbook for Disney that is only on I-Tunes called Time Jumpers…if Stan Lee makes it he is hooked.

The Truth

October 13th, 2009
11:13 am

Good evening folks.

On topic: Ol boy was probing to see if you were a freak. Since most women conform to a guys wants he was trying to guide you in that direction. You should have simply asked him what was the last spontaneous thing he did and then listen for the silence. Reminds me of chicks that would say they’re into plays and concert and then when you asked them when they last went, silence.

As for dudes bringing up sex sometimes if theres no connection shooting for the azz is the only hope. It’s no different than a chick telling a guy to take her out when she’s not interested. You throw out your ace a spade and I throw out mine.

Its me, you prolly freaked him out. I have a rule that I refuse to talk with a chick thats crying, unless its a major event such as death or such. I guess if I was him i’d be wondering what the hellz the other guys you’ve been dating have done to you where just being nice brings you to tears. I’d think youve been putting yourself through the ringer, but thats just me.

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
11:15 am

“swiss – Now watch how well received this will be coming from a guy, rather than mean ole AmazonRed.”

That’s just because I said it nicely, ARed. So nicely, in fact, that… [sniff]… I’m … [sniff]… getting a little misty… [sniff]… over here… ;-) :lol:

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)

October 13th, 2009
11:15 am

Wouldn’t think you were a nutcase, per se, but it would definitely throw me a bit. Having said that, I wouldn’t make a big deal of it — just forget it & proceed as normal. The bigger deal you make of it, the bigger deal it will be to him.

Couldn’t agree more Swiss.

i'm swiss

October 13th, 2009
11:17 am

“As for dudes bringing up sex sometimes if theres no connection shooting for the azz is the only hope. It’s no different than a chick telling a guy to take her out when she’s not interested. You throw out your ace a spade and I throw out mine.”

Ah, Truth… I missed you, bruh. :lol: Hope you’re doing well, man…

Raqi...Wearing a Shadow on a Cloudy Day

October 13th, 2009
11:18 am

So Swiss a woman expressing her appreciation thru tears from something nice that you did for her makes her kinda, sorta a nutcase? Really?

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:18 am

LOL @ swiss and Truth.

Cemeeli

October 13th, 2009
11:19 am

Dream_n – I like your baby’s name. And at that age it’s so cute and sweet. They luuuuv hugs!!!

I love kids! Always have…now my brother is dfferent story…this pass Sunday he asked me why i hadn’t allowed my son to rejoin the children’s choir cause they need more boys (he has 3)…and i chuckled because he’s now playing the drums for the music dept. whereas a year or two ago he wouldn’t be inclined to play even though he’s musically gifted.

….then after he tried to “shine” on me and my son…he says…”Sis you know i don’t like kids like that!” lol

Dream_n

October 13th, 2009
11:19 am

The Truth

You have to shoot for something… that’s just wrong and funny at the same time..

AmazonRed™ is sexy legs...

October 13th, 2009
11:20 am

Raqi – There is a difference…doing someTHING nice is one thing. A guy wants to see you react because you brought her flowers or a ring. Because you are nice TO me is something different. Getting emotional because he hugged you after a long day can definitely be seen as unnerving!

Kym

October 13th, 2009
11:20 am

@ It’s me..I do agree move passed it. Keep Moving Forward.(Disney has truly invaded my life).

Waving and laughing at Truth..what up big bro?