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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Location, Location, Location

I don’t know how to explain it but I call it the Panera Hottie Phenomenon. In the last couple of weeks, whenever I go in to a Panera Bread restaurant, I always spot a great looking guy. Not only is he great looking but he catches my eye in that “he could be my boo” kind of way.  It’s like the guy is literally in Panera bread waiting for me to walk in!

I firmly believe that where you reside, spend time, or hang out has a tremendous impact on who you meet and date.  If you find that these locations are not working for you, it’s time you shake things up! Go to a different part of your side of town, visit friends in their area, volunteer for a different organization.

Where do you spot the best potential dates? Where are the people who want a relationship congregating? Do you think your location is conducive to finding a date?

When I suggested this to a friend of mine, she scoffed at the idea of doing something to increase her chances of meeting someone.  She thinks that if it’s meant to be, then things will align and fall into place on it’s own.  What do you think? Is it better to leave it to chance or should we lend fate a hand?

321 comments Add your comment

Dream_n

October 12th, 2009
2:10 pm

Lurkerette

Yes, without his wife. I don’t know the circumstances as to why she didnt go.. (im sure i could get the excuse from my sis), but it just kinda boggled me…

Melo, carrying a murse going into a Beyonce concert would ring alarms to me!

idk it’s just weird, the whole relationship looks weird to me

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 12th, 2009
2:12 pm

@ Lurkerette

Not sure what her experience was like. We haven’t gotten that deep yet. She only revealed it when I joked about my last two major relationships ended when the lady went back to her ex-husband. She then offered that I had no worries there and told me about him. I look forward to knowing more. She lives in another city but thinking about moving back to ATL, so we haven’t gone very far yet in each other’s stories.

Does make me wonder though (really not being rude here, am serious as a heart attack)…I wonder what her sexual experience has been. Most bi or lets just say it, gay males (men are either gay or straight in denial almost always) are repulsed at the more exotic ways of pleasing a woman. We are not far enough in to the relationship for me to explore what this might have done to her. I am trying not to be too graphic here, so I hope you can read between the lines.

Professor

October 12th, 2009
2:13 pm

@Leggs well you passed the test. I will let you know when I go, but I know it will not be this weekend and I will keep the crowd at a minimum since Melo said we will not meet anyone if we are in a pack…lol

@Dream I will drive 30 mintues that is one sitcom or one episode of the Jeffersons. Usually if I am cooking the my SO will meet me. I dated one guy that lived 45 minutes from me and he always said that he did not want me driving after a certain time…if something happened to my car etc. so he would always try to get me to stay over, or he would usually end up just coming to my spot.

@czBrat LOL we are not trading hamburger meat for steak or chittlins for ham…bring someone of substance…lol

Eved if you are Down Low, must you be Low Down?

OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhWeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee now that was funny as hell and I almost choked that was beyond LMAO
YES I WOULD TELL HER

Melo

October 12th, 2009
2:13 pm

and why wld u be reading THE New York Times at the bar if u go there to meet ladies??
get off the newspaper and talk to some pple..hw u gonna even see the ladies who walk in and make eye contact if uall acting mr. educated??

Go to the club scene..if u who u say u are,and u look decent and easy on the eye,by the time u get out,u got multiple females all over u.

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
2:16 pm

@Randy – yeah but I think that matters if they were born that way vs if they had a homosexuals experiences and liked it (some men can screw anything) and some well lets just say that would pose as a challenge along with the repulsion factor. If they were married, he may be in the first group.

M'

October 12th, 2009
2:16 pm

Now telling a gf that her man is a DLB is a precarious sit-chu-macion…if there is a good trust worthy respect for word and bond with the sis…then straight to the point is the best way…if it is one of those “you may be hating cuz you jealous” type of things (I do not deal with these kind of women), then I would leave her to find out on her own…and if she found out that I knew after the fact…then I would tell Kate…”yeah, but you wasn’t gonna hit me for hating…and silence is a powerful tool”…so, see that is why I do not kick with that ilk…lol

czBrat

October 12th, 2009
2:17 pm

lull in the weather. gotta go wet-vac the Q :( i’ll be back.

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
2:21 pm

LMAO @ M’ – I would also say “girl make sure you using protection with dude” – I would have to throw that in.

Dream_n

October 12th, 2009
2:21 pm

Lurkerette

yeah but I think that matters if they were born that way

Born Gay??

Professor

October 12th, 2009
2:22 pm

and why wld u be reading THE New York Times at the bar if u go there to meet ladies??
get off the newspaper and talk to some pple..hw u gonna even see the ladies who walk in and make eye contact if uall acting mr. educated??
Go to the club scene..if u who u say u are,and u look decent and easy on the eye,by the time u get out,u got multiple females all over u.
DAMMIT I agree, I was wondering why in the hell you are reading that paper at the bar. The day is over the dow is closed you are looking for a bull to ride or a bear to tangle with. Leave the paper in your trunk. Now what are you going to wear? Leave the bowtie, suspenders rubix cube in the car keep the cufflinks on and try not to look so eager. Are you wearing cologne? Don’t put on so much that the bees are following you and women are sneezing, but put on enough to make you dazzling…well not dazzling but you get the point.

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
2:24 pm

@Dream – Yes it’s true there are some people born that way. I’ve heard the other stuff, If you were born that way you can be born again” or what rally matters is who gets to you first. But I know a guy that came out the womb clutchin the pearls!

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 12th, 2009
2:25 pm

@ Lurkerette

It is different for women. I truly believe they can be genuinely “bi”. Men are almost always already that way, just have been afraid to admit it to themselves. I suspect that in most marriages between a woman and a man “with urges” there would be very little…well lets just say I doubt he would please her as well as he could/should and leave it there.

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
2:26 pm

@Professor – He probably said that so the person will know it’s him.

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
2:28 pm

I was wondering why in the hell you are reading that paper at the bar. The day is over the dow is closed you are looking for a bull to ride or a bear to tangle with. Leave the paper in your trunk. Now what are you going to wear? Leave the bowtie, suspenders rubix cube in the car keep the cufflinks on and try not to look so eager. Are you wearing cologne? Don’t put on so much that the bees are following you and women are sneezing, but put on enough to make you dazzling…well not dazzling but you get the point.

ROFL

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 12th, 2009
2:28 pm

@ Dream n

men can be genetically inclined that way. I know that when I was a child I knew others, even before puberty, where there were signs already there for some of the ones I knew that eventually jumped the fence. You could

Professor

October 12th, 2009
2:31 pm

Lurkette gotcha but he need to make better use of his time…leave the paper in the car so he can mack! What if the blog chick does not show up and he is looking like Urkle(sp) with that paper all night drinking a scotch

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
2:31 pm

@Professor – Thats right, take him to school girl. You got me ova here howling.

czBrat

October 12th, 2009
2:33 pm

uh huh. looking crazy holding that paper upside down cuz it’s just a prop anyway.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 12th, 2009
2:33 pm

@ Dream n

i was working over in SC a few months ago with a knockout gal with a killer body who had been with her “life partner” for eight years, after being married for eleven years and a daughter. She never had a clue until she was approached by another female student when she went back to get her Masters. It just happened.

That is possible for a woman, but a man is always one or the other, not both. He just denies it until he can no longer deny it to himself. IMHO

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
2:34 pm

@Professor – Ain’t nothing wrong with a lil Urkle, but he better not have on no damn floods(pants).

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
2:36 pm

@Randy – That’s because sexually a man or a woman can do a woman, But if you aint got no dy ke you can’t do a man.

czBrat

October 12th, 2009
2:36 pm

@Randy the situation you just described can usually be chalked up to frustration or disappointment from her last relationship with a man. a woman may experiment but almost always give men another chance.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 12th, 2009
2:40 pm

Regarding the guy at the bar with the WSJ, I read the WSJ…but not when I am loking.

@ Sleepless You cannot expect them to come to/approach you always, somehow you have to put it out there. The best line of all is simply, “Hi, my name is (fill in the blank), what is yours?”, while smiling slightly shyly and extending your hand for a handshake. Then ask them a question, something simple about THEM. Just start a casual conversation, don’t hit on them if for no other reason than to have them wondering if you are going to hit on them. Just talk, be friendly…take it slow. My take anyway.

Raqi...Feelin' like a Million Dollar Bill

October 12th, 2009
2:41 pm

I am craving some freakin’ hot wings big time. I never eat those things unless my marido has them I may eat one. But I never “want” them per se to the point of actually just buying or making some for myself. But right now I could use a few. LOL

Dream_n

October 12th, 2009
2:42 pm

****Disclaimer*** ( I am not trying to start a big controversy!!)

If you believe that a man/woman is born gay. Doesn’t that make GOD out to be a liar. (which we know he isn’t/those that believe in him)

SexyCool...At about Cloud 3 and rising

October 12th, 2009
2:43 pm

Last pickup line that worked on me – “I don’t mean to stare, but you’re beautiful.” LOL! LOVEDed it!!!

Melo

October 12th, 2009
2:44 pm

Sme of uall might need to start on that journey home right now so u get there in time,after navigating closed roads etc.

im glad im chauffer driven

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 12th, 2009
2:46 pm

Raqi

Didn’t you crave hot wings the last ime you got pregnant? ;-) Might be time for a trip to the Wally World pharmacy…(JK)

Raqi...Feelin' like a Million Dollar Bill

October 12th, 2009
2:46 pm

im glad im chauffer driven

Is that code for “I take a taxi”?

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
2:48 pm

@Dream – God Made man and woman and they were perfect until the garden of Eden. Even in nature you find species that are different, but it does not mean that God did not create them. That’s my final answer.

Melo

October 12th, 2009
2:48 pm

Is that code for “I take a taxi”?

marta bus and train driver!

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
2:52 pm

@Sexy – The is a cute pick up line. Must guys don’t use them too much anymore.

Raqi...Feelin' like a Million Dollar Bill

October 12th, 2009
2:53 pm

HaHa RandyT. Don’t play. LOL

czBrat

October 12th, 2009
2:55 pm

Dream_n not to get too technical, but i read a study many years ago that a woman can suffer certain hormonal imbalance if she experiences great stress at a certain point during pregnancy. she ends up producing too much testosterone or estrogen and this imbalance (they deduced) might affect the childs sexual inclinations. if nothing else, it was interesting reading.

and, of course, every time my hubbs pissed me off i’d yell at him “do you want a gay child?!?!” … and he’d leave me alone ;)

i'm swiss

October 12th, 2009
2:56 pm

“If you believe that a man/woman is born gay. Doesn’t that make GOD out to be a liar.”

I so want to comment on that, but I’ll abstain — except to say that there some people who, without a doubt, have had those tendencies from the day they were born. I can count at least half a dozen dudes I went to school with who dated girls, even married girls & since have come out of the closet. And in each case, my reaction was, “who didn’t see that coming???”

Raqi...Feelin' like a Million Dollar Bill

October 12th, 2009
2:57 pm

I guess the blog filter did not like that word I used in my last comment. Let me rephrase.

The best pick up lines were the ones that were simple. Not too cheesy and definitely not crude in nature.

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
2:58 pm

Cz – thanks for the scientific explanation.

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
3:00 pm

Raqi and Sexy – like – Heaven must be missing an Angel, cause you are with me.

Leggs

October 12th, 2009
3:02 pm

@Professor, I wasn’t worried about passing the test. Just let me know when.

@M’, you’re right. Telling your gf that her man may be on the DL may open pandora’s box. However, the medical/physical repercussions that may occur because her eyes/heart are closed and your’s are open can be deadly. I would rather lose you as a friend (a form of death) if I had to than to lose you because you died from a disease. I would tell because as your true friend, through thick and thin, we got each other’s back.

@Melo, most days, my car knows how to get me home.

SexyCool...At about Cloud 3 and rising

October 12th, 2009
3:03 pm

I have some special thoughts on the gay from birth and God’s part in it. Why does God get blamed for er’thang?

Every baby ain’t a gift from God. He doesn’t MAKE that babies. People do.

(And that’s about as deep as I feel like going into THAT.)

Raqi...Feelin' like a Million Dollar Bill

October 12th, 2009
3:07 pm

Lurkerette or like:

“You are the reason men fall in love”. Just simple.

SexyCool...At about Cloud 3 and rising

October 12th, 2009
3:07 pm

Lurkerette/Raqi – yeah…it was just cute enough that it wasn’t too corny and since I’d just gotten my hair done and was feeling my sexy…it made me laugh…and we started talking.

I ended up telling him, “Look, I’m actually waiting to meet someone. But I’m enjoying our conversation, and would like to continue it another time. So, I’m going to give you my number so that I’m not rude when my date gets here.”

LOL!

Dream_n

October 12th, 2009
3:08 pm

Raqi/Melo/Leggs

Where do you guys stand on the subject.

I’m asking b/c its intriguing to find out what people’s opinions are….

Melo

October 12th, 2009
3:13 pm

what subject??

M'

October 12th, 2009
3:14 pm

@Leggs

You knows I jes’ messin’..lol…I would tell any sister the truth…I am more committed to the highest good of the collective than the personal ego of the one…lol…it is a truth that would manifest anyway…shyte…I would tell the sister if the ole dude was one of my runnin’ buds…wrong it wrong.

Professor

October 12th, 2009
3:17 pm

Melo have your limo to pick me up.

@Lurkerette/czBrat something about that paper did it to me…I am silly so it doesn’t take much.

@Leggs it cannot be this weekend, but anytime after…

@Dream Time magazine did an article in the 90s which stated that a certain percentage of the animal population show gay tendencies. At this time I do not remember all the details such as who funded the study or the names of the researcher…a lot of water under the bridge since that time.

czBrat

October 12th, 2009
3:17 pm

this from a guy who saw me, left, and came back with his sister-in-law to have her find out my status …. “I’m not usually shy, but you left me speechless.” can i get a collective “AWWWWW”.

Lurkerette

October 12th, 2009
3:18 pm

@Sexy – Playa playa!
@Raqi – I really like that one. Im gonna ask my S/O why he never used those lines on me. Then again he can be about as romantic as a ketchup bottle. Lord help me.

Leggs

October 12th, 2009
3:19 pm

Thanks Melo. Is the topic, men being born gay or turning gay, or possibility that women can turn bi after some time or is that God did not create gays so this is self-induced….what is the topic?

@Professor, no sweat. Just keep me in mind when you do. You know how to contact me

SexyCool...At about Cloud 3 and rising

October 12th, 2009
3:19 pm

aaaawwwwww…..