Love, Pleasure, Duty
You guys know how fascinated I am by the research studies! CNN recently reported about a study that was conducted to find out why women have sex. Yes, this was the actual reason for the scientific research! What are the reasons women do it? They also explored what influenced the female sex drive.
After a previous study identified the 237 reasons why women have sex, researchers polled women to see which ones were selected the most. The responses varied from love, pleasure, and duty. Is that really all that different from men, though?
One of the researchers, David Buss said he found it surprising how dramatically and variably sexual experience seemed to influence feelings of self-esteem. I am pretty sure Mr. Buss would have already known this if he was a woman!
What do think about the study? Do you agree that women’s motivation for sex is generally related to love and commitment? Since women are often referred to as the more complex gender, do you think that what women want out of sex is just as complex?
Guys, does your sexual experiences impact your confidence and self-esteem? Do you think your motivation for sex and what you get out of it differs from women?
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375 comments Add your comment
Raqi
October 9th, 2009
8:37 am
LOL
Before reading the “study” I will list why ‘Raqi’ has sex these days.
1. Intimate and emotional bonding (a lot falls within this category)
2. Love (It’s my gift to him)
3. Pleasure
4. It’s my duty as a wife (if you feel the need to ask I will elaborate)
5. For comfort/consolation (His and mine)
6. For maintenance
7. Boredom (I will explain that one also)
Now let me read the study and why other women are doing it outside of the obvious “Reproduction”.
i'm swiss
October 9th, 2009
8:39 am
[In my best Butt-head voice...]
Huhuhuhuh huhuhuhuh….. Uh… She said “polled”
Dan
October 9th, 2009
8:42 am
@Raqi
Please explain the “duty” part of it? she said duty…huhhuhuh
You’re one of the few that could explain it cogently.
Thanks
Les
October 9th, 2009
8:46 am
Men are biologically driven to crave sex. For men the sex drive is like a hunger or thirst. Men want to quench that thirst for sex. Men may have other supplemental reasons for sex, but there is without a doubt that urge that can be animalistic.
Is sexual desire like a thirst to women? I don’t know.
For women, I guess it has more to do with emotional elements directed to the total life experience, and not an animalistic drive.
i'm swiss
October 9th, 2009
8:46 am
Ha… my favorite quote from the article:
“A study from Meston’s lab showed a strong correlation between how erect a man’s penis is and how aroused he says he is. By contrast, the link is much weaker between a woman’s physical arousal (as measured inside her vagina) and the arousal she says she feels, the researchers found.”
Where’s abc? I’m sure he could provide the explanation for that phenomenon.
I conducted a parallel survey to determine why men have sex. My findings: because they can.
Pinky
October 9th, 2009
8:49 am
Wazup All…
I’m a new Cat to the blog. I read this blog all the time but rarely post…
Damn! Raqi, We need to meet up, lol
Wings() - I Fly Above
October 9th, 2009
8:50 am
Good Morning and Happy Sexy Friday Bloggers!
Although I don’t put much credence in studies(their samples are usually not fully representative of a real cross section) I will agree that GOOD SEX can enhance life..period! But I will go further to say that even better SEX is accompanied by LOVE and a great RELATIONSHIP!
Fortunately, my self esteem nor happiness is not tied to the lack of Sex, because if was, I would have been in serious trouble during those dry spells. lol
Yes, women are complex at times, but don’t get it twisted sometimes the only goal we have is simple…satisfaction.
Have A Great Day!
Tyree
October 9th, 2009
8:52 am
In the case of ” The Real House Wives of Atlanta”. CA$H.
Nate
October 9th, 2009
8:55 am
Les describes it as well as anyone I’ve ever read. Men have dreams where we see a hot woman and say to ourselves, “Hey, this is a dream, I can have sex with her. And, we do.”
I had one relationship with a woman who seemed to have as strong a craving for sex as I did. Our first year together, we averaged more than once a day. Hadn’t encountered that before, haven’t encountered it since. She had a highly addictive personality. Perhaps she was addicted to sex, too. Whatever the reason, it was great.
Professor
October 9th, 2009
8:59 am
Happy Friday!
I am going to lurk on this one. At this time, I think I am still hyped up by President Obama Nobel Peace Prize win.
Once I am in the MIA thinking mode I will post something.
Wings() - I Fly Above
October 9th, 2009
9:00 am
@Tyree – Although that does not apply to them all, That would fall under SEX for SURVIVAL….again not included in the study. LOL:)
Professor
October 9th, 2009
9:00 am
@swiss LOL on the butt-head voice
Reality Bird
October 9th, 2009
9:00 am
“Women are more (emotionally)complex…”
Now, I can agree with that.
While not all women desire sex as often as I do, and while they are more passive about acquiring it, the ones I have been with all prefer to orgasm just like me – multiple times if I can hang with them.
Kym
October 9th, 2009
9:02 am
Can I skip the study? I have had sex for all those reason. except Duty. some how I am not feeling that word at all. Yeah pretty sure that word bugs me. Duty. Ughh!!
By the by all of us make a committment to sex. “I am committed to having the big O, I am committed to giving him the big O, I am committted to getting this over with so I can go to sleep, study, wash clothes, get away from you..etc.
Liberal Duck Walk
October 9th, 2009
9:03 am
Obama contemplates increasing troop strength in Afghanistan by adding 40,000 more U.S. militiary forces.
Obama wins Nobel Peace prize.
See a pattern?
Kym
October 9th, 2009
9:04 am
I will keep my opinion on the Obama Peace Prize to myself.
Dave
October 9th, 2009
9:09 am
I think it’s a variety of reasons and it differs from woman to woman. I have dated women who only wanted to watch TV and then get naked. Many times it was multiple times a day. She didn’t need a reason, a mood or a setting…all she needed was a place and she would make the time for it. Others had to wait until both the mood and the settings were just right. Once they got going, they were a wildcat, but it took them longer to warm up. A small percentage look on it as something for men to enjoy and women to endure. It’s surprising that a male’s perspective on himself as a lover depends on how the woman responds and behaves. I have experienced feeling like I was the worst lover on the planet, but then in another relationship feel like a porn star. It takes two to tango, though. Society states that it’s up to the man to arouse and satisfy the woman, because the man will get his regardless. What’s one person’s “get wild and go porno in the sack” may be just an average run in the sheets to another. Personally, once we decide to cross the intimacy barrier, NOTHING is off limits except for a third person. I just haven’t been that into that realm. The freakier, sweaty and adventurous, the better. But we as men need to also know that every woman has her own likes, fantasies and hot buttons and we need to warm up to them or miss the boat completely. And women, if you think your man is a sex maniac with suggestions that seem too on the edge, don’t blame us. Blame the woman we dated before you that seemed to be on the same page as us and relished it.
Dan
October 9th, 2009
9:10 am
@Kym
I won’t.
The haters can bite me.
After 30 years (my lifetime) of America starting wars and doing it because “we can”, we finally have a President that speaks of peace and multilateral global cooperation; instead of a fake azz cowboy with one finger on ‘the button’ and other in his ear/nose.
The groundwork for nuclear disarmament, a sitting US President speaking peace in a Muslim country, and a level headed (as opposed to “whatever Isreal wants to do”) approach to a decades old battle – why shouldn’t he win?
Whether he gets any or all of the goals accomplished, dude has a least changed the tone. No longer is it America first, last and only; but a world where we are adults about our national interests and leading by example as opposed to force.
Professor
October 9th, 2009
9:13 am
Please note that a pattern is a list of events, which forms a constituent arrangement. With all do respect you did not list a pattern.
Raqi
October 9th, 2009
9:14 am
Quotes from the study:
“Genetic benefits”
“When a woman is sexually attracted to a man because he smells good, she doesn’t know why she is sexually attracted to that man,”
“men have a different genetic agenda from women – they want to impregnate lots of healthy women.”
All of that there ^ is just nature taking its course. Sexual desire is an engrained part of nature from our Creator. I just truly find it hilarious when research like this is done to try to decode or dissect something that just is what it is. The true scientific reason for sex is to make babies. Period.
I am LMBO at some of the reason given like to purposely give an STD, to get revenge, etc.
Now this one here: To Mate Guard – Women regularly have sex with their mates to stop them seeking it elsewhere.
There is some underlying truth in that statement even when it is not an actual conscious thought. Sex is a natural desire and if you are not giving it to your mate, he/she just may seek it elsewhere. That’s a no-brainer.
Women also mate to get the things they think they want
There is also a bit of truth there ^. Sex should never be used to bargain or manipulate your mate. That is just cruel and childish. But we all know a happy husband is a more giving husband. That’s just the truth. I don’t think there are too many men out there buying their women “the world” and their penises are dry as the Sahara desert. I mean, you know.
czBrat
October 9th, 2009
9:19 am
GM All!
@Swiss 8:39 Thanx for starting my Friday with a good belly laugh!
Dan
October 9th, 2009
9:19 am
Raqi
Please tell me you not you just admitted to using sex to “get stuff”.
Not today, Rock, not today
Bob from Accounttemps
October 9th, 2009
9:21 am
Why? Because I’m THAT good! Accountants don’t always do it by the numbers.
Mensch59
October 9th, 2009
9:21 am
Why do some women like Chinese Food? Because it tastes good, it is satisfying and they like it. Cant’ they feel the same way about sex?? It feels good, it is satisfying in many different ways, and they like it.
It seems like these types of “studies” begin with the premise that women do not really like sex but do it for reasons other than the simple enjoyment of it.
JIMBOB
October 9th, 2009
9:21 am
Dan,
You are clueless. The US has been fighting for and establishing one sharia puppet regime after anohther for 30 years. This isn’t ‘pro Israel’ policy and it’s not done because ‘Israel wants us to do it’.
Obama is a slave of the US State Department, a warmongering big-lie fascist just like his predecessors. So far he has been just another US government salesman for the genocidal nazi allied ideology of Islamic leader hajj amin al husseini, concentration camp runner that killed hundreds of thousands of Christians, Roma, and Jews during WWII.
When the Persians called out to the US and Israel to rescue them from the mullhas, Obama supported the mullahs–and Israel was powerless to intervene. He’s not pro-democracy, he’s pro ’subjugation of foreign people’ which is why he so easily gets you to hate actual democracies–like Israel, and so easily gets you to believe in Jewish conspiracy theory. Leaders like him have no problem getting gullible people to believe all kinds of lies.
Wings() - I Fly Above
October 9th, 2009
9:22 am
@Kym – Duty may come into play if you are married or in a cohabitation relationship……there are days that you submit to his will………
czBrat
October 9th, 2009
9:22 am
I just truly find it hilarious when research like this is done to try to decode or dissect something that just is what it is.
Exactly! Could that study $$$ have gone toward something more productive?
Mr. WhatDoIKnow
October 9th, 2009
9:24 am
Dan:
The window for consideration for the Peace Prize closed two weeks after PrezBo took office. This says volumes about the Nobel nominations and awards.
Dan
October 9th, 2009
9:24 am
@jimbob
Like I said:
Deese!
I’m not debating. I said my peace and I’m done.
Again: Deese
mytw♥tatas WWMy2D?
October 9th, 2009
9:25 am
I may have to breakdown and click thru on this link. Cuz I think there’s a laundry list of reasons why we be doin’ it and doin’ it and doin’ it well… then there’s likely a shorter list of why we actually should be doin’ it and doin’ it and doin’ it well…
LES I think all humans crave it and have that kind of primal instinct. But out of the two, maybe (overall) women just don’t pursue every opportunity presented them… which is like #3 on my “Why We Doin’ It list: Sexin’ just to prove you can.
If the amount/frequency of sexin was a direct correlation to one’s self esteem, then I’m gonna walk on the flip side and say if anything – high frequency presents a sense of FALSE confidence. It takes a stronger sense of self to endure…yes, endure without that particular extracurricular. Ponder.
cto79
October 9th, 2009
9:25 am
I did not see where it says ” because they want it”. I do! Now ON to AFF
Raqi
October 9th, 2009
9:26 am
Dan both parties within a marriage has the right to sex. Even the bible says so. We are not to withhold sex from our partners. (From the bible it says: The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time,… and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.)
That being said there are times when I do not want sex. No part of it. However, that’s my husband and I owe it to him for the fulfillment of his needs. So as his wife it is my duty to fulfill that need even when I may not want it myself. But it works both ways. He has a duty to fulfill as my husband for my sexual needs.
No, we don’t always give in when the other is wanting, but still as a married couple we owe it to each other.
Keenin
October 9th, 2009
9:29 am
“Professor” – what’s a “constituent arrangement?” (and it’s due process).
Kym
October 9th, 2009
9:30 am
@Wings I have shacked up with a man before. I aint one for submitting to someone’s will.
Dan
October 9th, 2009
9:30 am
@Raqi
“Owe” as in a debt to be repaid? Really? “Owe”.
Usually, I’m witcha on a lot of the stuff you say (and sometime’s I play devil’s advocate), but ‘owe’? God help me if I ever find myself with a woman that feels like she ‘owes’ me sex, let ‘lone if I married her.
I just can’t fathom that…..”owe”….wooooowww
Been There Done That
October 9th, 2009
9:31 am
How do you make a woman quit having sex? Marry her.
Roscoe P. Coltrain
October 9th, 2009
9:31 am
I like Turtles!
Raqi
October 9th, 2009
9:32 am
No I did not Dan. Reread my comment. I distinctly said sex should never be used as a bargaining or manipulation tool. However, I think it’s wrong when women want and expect their men to do for them and give them what they want and she is not giving him what he wants.
It can’t be one sided. We have to make each other happy. A happy man makes his woman happy. A happy woman fulfill the needs of her man.
maria
October 9th, 2009
9:33 am
I have sex for all of my own reasons: love, pleasure and because I enjoyed it with my husband. I give it to him when he wants to because I enjoy it as much as he does. I don’t think is a duty either. I love having SEX with him. I’m never too tired or never have a headache or should I just say “I never have an excuse” for him for not to.
Happy Friday!
Wings() - I Fly Above
October 9th, 2009
9:37 am
@Kym – I felt the same way….before I fell in love and wanted to be present for him, even on days that I did not feel like it….the reciprocity came in when he understood.
Razor
October 9th, 2009
9:37 am
A friend of mine is a real bad boy. You know, sketchy, slacker, but an astute ladies man. I asked him why and how he is so popular with women. His answer….” What women like about me is…. that when I bang them, they stay banged.”
Raqi
October 9th, 2009
9:38 am
TwoLincolns I think it is a case of “boosting self-esteem” with a lot of men especially in their early years. The more notches they can get and brag about the higher their ego soar. It has nothing to do with love or any other feeling other than to feel good about themselves for their many conquest.
Kym
October 9th, 2009
9:38 am
@Dan
Ghandi-Said be the Change you want to see in the world. He lived those words. And freed a nation.
Martin Luther King followed his example and after countless beatings, and deaths set about change to bring dignity to generations who were shut out of a nation they help build.
Mother Teresa-Her work with the poor in the slums of Calcultta has left an impression on this earth that very few will even come close to following.
My point is that each of these people actually did something. Changing the f–ing tone? WTH does that mean? Any of us can change the tone of a room, a city, these people above changed the world, simply by acting. They actually worked. So what actual work has he performed other than getting elected President? Hell Jimmy Carter, Al Gore both have actually done something. To quote a friend this is just showing that the Kool-Aid drinkers are winning.
Kym
October 9th, 2009
9:40 am
Wings I loved the man I was shacked up with enough to have his son. Trust me I am not one for submitting to someone’s will.
Wings() - I Fly Above
October 9th, 2009
9:41 am
@Kym – As a matter of fact, I remember having that same discussion with my sister when I was newly married and she sat me down and went to a bible verse in Corinthians on me….
SexyCool
October 9th, 2009
9:41 am
Three Words Daily – Respect my sexy.
SexyCool
October 9th, 2009
9:42 am
I have sex because I like it.
And it feels good.
Eiljah
October 9th, 2009
9:43 am
A freaky Friday Good Morning to everyone!
@Raqi…. I luv that comment of a married person should want to satisfy their mate! That is a excellent mental approach for a married person
Sex can stimulate your senses and emotional feelings to the fullest, but I am not sure it has anything to do with your increasing your self-esteem!
@Dan ….Excellent comments regarding our President!
@Jimbob…. Please take the negativity to the political blogs!
Kym
October 9th, 2009
9:43 am
Wings using the bible in a convo with me..yeah try Raqi. That is not going to influence, change or open me up to the idea of submiting. I am the one in this piece who believes God is Goddess.
SexyCool
October 9th, 2009
9:44 am
As to POTUS and the Peace Prize. (Yawn)
And getting a text about it at 610a didn’t help my morning start off on an especially positive note.
Raqi
October 9th, 2009
9:44 am
Is sexual desire like a thirst to women
Les Yes, women do have a thirst for sex however it may not be of the same intensity has the man’s drive. We have a greater thirst for intimacy and that intimacy does not always require intercourse to be quenched.
mytw♥tatas WWMy2D?
October 9th, 2009
9:48 am
MENSCH59 And like Chinese Food, sometimes the act itself will only satisfy you for 20 minutes before you think you shoulda chosen to have some
thingone more fulfilling… possibly #3 on my “Why We SHOULD Be Doin’ It” list. To strengthen the bond between you and someone you care about.Maybe I won’t click thru, afterall. Hmmm. It’s a faulty premise for people to base women’s attitudes towards sex on the idea that we like it less.
Dan
October 9th, 2009
9:50 am
@Kym
Imagine for a second that you’re not from the US.
The only time you hear about America (admittedly through your given country’s government controlled media) is when it’s bombing someone. You grow up hearing that “America’s only concern is for America”.
Suddenly, there’s a President that says something like “hey, we haven’t always done the best things, we’ve made some mistakes, but I’m here to try and change [somma] that”. <— That's a shock. That's something you've never heard before. Maybe now you need to rethink this "death to America" thing you keep hearing about, if only for a moment.
That's changing the tone.
What does it do? It gives pause to would-be suicide bomber a brief thought that maybe "they" are wrong, maybe America isn't all that bad.
And you know what Kym, if only for those few seconds, I'm good with that; because maybe that's the first original thought that person's had. And maybe that will lead to more. And maybe make him/her less likely to do something silly.
And maybe it won't. But the possiblity exists now where it hasn't in your or my lifetime. And maybe that's worth something.
SexyCool
October 9th, 2009
9:53 am
To go a bit deeper on the reasons that I have sex:
1. He does it for me.
2. I want to please him in that way.
3. It brings me closer to him emotionally and mentally.
4. He took me to one of those other levels. For me, there are levels to states of arousal. Wet does not necessarily translate into aroused. (Trust, there are dudes out here who don’t know that.)
And I could go on…
sammy
October 9th, 2009
9:54 am
The only reason women need to have sex is to reproduce. Our human species depends on it! If all women got together and decided not to have sex, the human race would become extinct faster than the dinosaurs.
Warren Peace
October 9th, 2009
9:54 am
There was once a study done, and it was probably twenty years ago so the numbers are sure to have changed, that a man averaged twelve sex partners in his life and a woman five. Which sounds to me like both sides were lying. Well, at least I am above average.
Dan
October 9th, 2009
9:55 am
@Raqi
From a male perspective: it’s not “boosting self esteem” in the sense that the number of women you bag makes you feel better.
Sex with multiple partners at a young age does make a little more socialized (read: popular). It’s also a new relaxing feeling that, like any other drug, you want more of.
Wings() - I Fly Above
October 9th, 2009
9:59 am
Gotta Go………Peace and Love Blog Fam Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKaVBVikysw
Professor
October 9th, 2009
9:59 am
As a woman, at the end of the day I only care about why I am doing it and what’s in it for me (let me know if I need to elaborate before you jump to a conclusion). I am not married so I don’t “owe” anything. There is a false belief that women do not like sex, well some do and some don’t…others may have medical issues impacting the pleasure…not to mention all guys are not the headliners they think they are, hell some are not even back-up material. At the end of the day each female has her own reason(s).
Dream_n
October 9th, 2009
10:00 am
I have shacked up with a man before. I aint one for submitting to someone’s will.
I think I’m with you on this on Kym… Although I understand all the quotes, verses people throw out… Some people know how to manipulate the verses/quotes to fit the scenarios in their life…
Happy Friday All!!!!
SEX is part of human nature, some do it to satisfy a need/become closer with a partner/get things/pro create/satisfy a person.
It’s funny how some think that woman don’t like sex (there may be some out there, but i have yet to encounter one). We enjoy sex, we crave sex, we want sex… but not necessarily with every guy we meet. Those of us who see sex as a very intimate act.. only worth giving to that someone special..may hold it in a higher regard than others. That doesn’t mean we dont want, its just that not everyone is privelaged to test!
OneFreeMan
October 9th, 2009
10:01 am
Every human crave sex until they become impotent. Men and women desire sex equally. Society has placed so many taboos on sex until Americans are totally confused about when, how and with whom to have sex.
Humans were created to have sex, if not it wouldn’t be so much fun.
Enjoy It!
Reality Bird
October 9th, 2009
10:06 am
SexyCool,
I appreciate your comments. In my experience there seem to be steps to arousing women. I’ll mention a few I’ve experienced:
1. Relaxed mentally and physically – this can be accomplished by catching them when they’re not stressed, taking them to a great “geography”, having a good meal, possibly some alcohol,
2. Humor – A great sense of humor helps everybody relax;
3. Judgement – know the right time to become physical with the individual woman
Please go on.
Raqi
October 9th, 2009
10:06 am
SexyCool I like your reasons. In my reason I included “My gift to him” right beside Love because my love for him leads me to want to gift myself to him in a way that I know he wants and appreciates.
I have done it to have my way before. He was leaving to go meet some of his friends but I wanted him to stay home with me. I seduced him, or rather he allowed himself to be seduced, into not going.
Straight to the point
October 9th, 2009
10:09 am
WHAT A JOKE STUDY…lol
Women are in fact more so emotional than men….couple that with the fact that they too get horny, and voila…..they use it for self-expression even more so than a man…look at the women of any day…MOST urban women dress provocative…most women always want to “look good for myself” lol.(yea, right) and most women will use their sexuality to get laid, or to persuade someone to gratify their power fetishes..dont get me started sigmond freuds of atlanta..lol
bottom line is caus ethey get horny just as any person can/does.
NATURE intended men to have instilled within him the need to procreate/screw and its a behavioral instinct, but women call it being a dog: wrong. So, subliminally women compete amongst themselves to remain an attractive sexual force in the eyes of women and men. you show, i look. i look, i want.
As Smokey says: AND U KNOW THIS, MAN!!!!!
Inquistor
October 9th, 2009
10:15 am
Inquiring minds want to know. What about frequency of solo sessions for women? We all know about men. Do they have this kind of drive and how often?
Straight to the point
October 9th, 2009
10:18 am
RAQI
THANK U FOR BEING WOMAN ENOUGH TO ADMIT THOSE QUOTES….
Shaun
October 9th, 2009
10:19 am
What is intimacy but a primordial desire to be with one man so he can support you and not THE HERD.
SexyCool
October 9th, 2009
10:23 am
The emotionality of sex. Um yeah. I have had sex where there was no emotional bonding. But the best sex is the total package…awesome kisses, total body attention, great oral component, nice fit, rhythmic movement, staying power, after-sex cuddle.
1. Awesome kisses – Kisses that don’t taste funny and are not too wet. Tip: Lick your lips and swallowany excessive saliva in your mouth before kissing your mate. Oh and don’t try to make your person swallow your tongue (She could asphyxiate. LOL)
2. Total body attention – Breasts and cli t are not the only erogeonous zones on a woman’s body.
3. Great oral component – Licking at the kitty like a kitty licking milk is not effective. If you’re afraid to really taste me downtown, don’t get on the #7 headed that way. I’d rather you just not.
4. Nice fit. Doesn’t always mean having a ‘big ego’. Although for most, it helps.
5. Rhythmic movement – If your rhythm doesn’t match mine, Houston, we have a problem. (For instance, if I am thrusting up to meet you while you are withdrawing, that’s going to be worse than white dudes dancing.)
6. Staying power – No hump, hump, c um. If you can’t stand up in it, don’t get in it. (The other part of staying power is knowing when to say when. If you have brought your mate to pleasure of few times and her eyes are now glazed over with boredom, find your happy ending, get up and get the towel and stay the hell outta the wet spot.)
7. After sex cuddle – (Optional) Alternative – Going to sleep.
kaygeeone
October 9th, 2009
10:23 am
Dan, your views on politics are screwed up….your a moron!
SexyCool
October 9th, 2009
10:25 am
Oh…and #8. The emotional bonding of making love to someone that you really like, really want to please and really want to be with, as opposed to doing it just for sport.
Cemeeli
October 9th, 2009
10:27 am
First of all, we have to remember that sex is God’s invention. He is the mastermind behind it. This beautiful expression of love was created out of God’s own heart as a gift to be experienced between a husband and wife. The more beautiful and unique something is (like sexual intercourse), the more we want it and for some folks it’s the power held over their lives, either as a good or bad influence.
If God didn’t want us to enjoy sexual relations, he would not have made sex pleasurable.
Lastly, your “members” should be handled with care, and handled by a person that cares about you, and your body. Sex is an art form when two bodies become one…
Hey…
mytw♥tatas WWMy2D?
October 9th, 2009
10:27 am
ELIJAH & MELO Your favorite Pseudo Pyschoanalyst is in today. The chaise lounge is available for a spell…
Dream_n
October 9th, 2009
10:27 am
SexyCool
lmao!!… i love it
Cemeeli
October 9th, 2009
10:29 am
…i desire it…
sexuallyrepressed
October 9th, 2009
10:31 am
question: how does a man / woman acquires a thirst / hunger for sex?
sweetsay
October 9th, 2009
10:31 am
I totally agree with Mensch59. I HAVE SEX BECAUSE I LOVE HAVING SEX!!!. It is very simple. I am sure my husband might have sex with me sometimes for other reason than simply enjoying it and sometimes i may also, however 99% of the time i do it because i love it. the other 1% may be because i am either sick with the flu or tired but if my husbands gets me aroused, sick or tired doesn’t matter any more because i love having sex.
Raqi
October 9th, 2009
10:33 am
If your rhythm doesn’t match mine
SexyCool ain’t that truff. You gotta connect. Not just physically. But you know, Mesh. In sync. Dancing to the same beat. Feeling each other the same way.
Dan
October 9th, 2009
10:33 am
@SC
Great list! (he says scribbling notes)
@kaygeeone
I take all my advice from terrific spellers, thanks!
Sarge1
October 9th, 2009
10:37 am
Raqi: You da bomb!!! I hope it was a typing error when you alluded to being married. Better stay out of Griffin or I’ll show you WHY women have sex.
SexyCool
October 9th, 2009
10:37 am
BTW – I’m at home today. Decided I wanted a three day weekend. So, I have nothing but time today.
Raqi
October 9th, 2009
10:38 am
You can’t be square dancing while I Salsa.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 9th, 2009
10:42 am
My ex-wife probably would not check any of them. Now a 200+ list of reasons why NOT to have sex, she could write that out in an evening.
Having said that, the ladies I have dated/been in relationships since have often/usually been the aggressors sexually. Sounds strange but I don’t know if it is the “cougar” mentality or what (or maybe I have just been attracted to ladies with active libidos). All I know is that most of the women I have dated this last 7 or 8 years just wanted it, plain and simple. I have found myself wondering if since they aren’t married and having to deal with/think about “obligatory” sex, maybe they are just free to do what they want and that like that empowerment.
Then again, maybe I am a lot better at “romance” than I was in my marriage.
Melodramatizulu
October 9th, 2009
10:43 am
I am not feeling this topic today!
The study is like asking me why I am hungry….I am hungry,thats all.
Dream_n
October 9th, 2009
10:43 am
@ SexyCool
You’re lucky woman.. I wish I was home
Took 2 days next week.. I rarely take vacation… I have to use up the days before the year is up..
@ Dan.. lol
EllTiger
October 9th, 2009
10:44 am
There is a thread that runs through the way men and women look at sex. Check out all of the comments from women and you will see that sex is something that they “give”. Even for the liberated, sophisticate they see it as something that they own and give out when presented with the proper stimuli. Any wonder men see sex as a conquest.
Raqi
October 9th, 2009
10:45 am
Sarge1 I appreciate the compliment and will accept it, however the reason I like it, and love it and always want more it is securely knitted to the man that wears the wedding band I placed on his finger.
But hey, get back at me in about 53 years. He says he will only live to be 95. After then I am all yours.
Melodramatizulu
October 9th, 2009
10:45 am
So, I have nothing but time today.
is that just a blank statement or u hollering at smebody to come over??
(the weather is really nice SCool,not cold,just perfect for that type of thang)
Dan
October 9th, 2009
10:46 am
@Raqi/SC
As a liberated man, lemme axe y’all a question:
So (based on readings from the blog), I supposed to chase the woman; pursue honorably and earnestly; wine and dine her; stimulate her mentally (throughout this process); wait for her to decide to be ‘intimate’ (while remaining faithful); do all I can to please her physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually during the act; cater to her every desire afterwards; be ready to date exclusively, committ, or marry her (on a timeline she deems appropriate); and spend the rest of my days catering to her happiness at the expense of my own.
Does that sum things up? Is that an accurate description of the “post modern’ (read: 2009) pursuit of a woman?
Raqi
October 9th, 2009
10:50 am
The perfect kiss for me is all about the lips and the right timing that he takes my bottom lip between his. It really helps that I’m a top lip kisser and he’s a bottom. Perfect. LOL
And yes SexyCool, the proper amount of moisture.
SexyCool
October 9th, 2009
10:50 am
For Women:
1. A moist la bia is good, River deep, river wide is better. (Use lube if you have to.)
2. Smelling fresh is important. Shower if you can. Freshen if you can’t.
3. Learn to love going to the “head” of the class.
4. Learn how to give good massages.
5. Don’t just lie there.
6. Kegel exercises work.
7. Squats help strengthen riding muscles.
8. Moan when he does something right.
9. Show him how to get you to the happy ending if he doesn’t know.
And I could go on…maybe I should teach a class….~lmao~
Melodramatizulu
October 9th, 2009
10:51 am
Raqi,u been to Rays on the River????
I wanna take the Queen there tonite,whats ur recommendation.
Shaun
October 9th, 2009
10:52 am
I gotta say, SC, that “goin’ down for dinner” bidness is best done on a clean plate.
In sex, cleanliness (with no odor) is next to godliness.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 9th, 2009
10:52 am
@ Dan Basically yes, but only if you include marriage and she is not a nympho, lol. Definitely not a perfect system…that is why dating “mature” women is so much easier
Raqi
October 9th, 2009
10:52 am
Dan, what?
SexyCool
October 9th, 2009
10:54 am
Naw, Melo – Just explaining why I’m online with so much more sex talk than I normally talk…and yes, I know, I talk about sex a lot – but probably just a bit more today…
Dan – That sounds about right. And when you choose right and make a good match, she will be all of those things and more for you and it won’t seem like the major sacrifice of self that you seem believe that it is. To whom much is given, much is required. Sounds simple to me. But here again, we may be talking about an idealistic world. However, I still believe it exists for me.
ScopeN
October 9th, 2009
10:55 am
I like it best when it tastes like the back of your hand and doesn’t look like a roast beef sandwich. It’s interesting how women can be more beautiful “at close range” than others. Never judge a book by only it’s upper cover.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
October 9th, 2009
10:56 am
@ Dan By the way, none of what you said is new…it has ALWAYS been that way. I saw a gal in a t-shirt that said (okay I may change some of the spelling) “I have the pudsy so I will make the rules”.
Melodramatizulu
October 9th, 2009
10:57 am
and spend the rest of my days catering to her happiness at the expense of my own
naaaah…u gotta pull away a lil smetimes,feel desirable to her,have an air the other men dont have,in her eyes…..u know,that which they say,”there is smething about him i like,i dont know what it is”
(jenny is getting back with mark sanford,for all u know)
U seem available all the time??,she takes u for granted.
Women do like dogs,just depends on the quantity of dog in ya….
Melodramatizulu
October 9th, 2009
10:59 am
goin’ down for dinner” bidness is best done on a clean plate
on a virgin???
thats the only guarantee of cleanliness u can have.
SexyCool
October 9th, 2009
11:00 am
I’m channeling a mix of Alexys K. Taylor and Dr. Ruth today. LOL!