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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Love, Pleasure, Duty

You guys know how fascinated I am by the research studies! CNN recently reported about a study that was conducted to find out why women have sex.  Yes, this was the actual reason for the scientific research! What are the reasons women do it? They also explored what influenced the female sex drive.

After a previous study identified the 237 reasons why women have sex, researchers polled women to see which ones were selected the most.  The responses varied from love, pleasure, and duty.  Is that really all that different from men, though?

One of the researchers, David Buss said he found it surprising how dramatically and variably sexual experience seemed to influence feelings of self-esteem. I am pretty sure Mr. Buss would have already known this if he was a woman!

What do think about the study? Do you agree that women’s motivation for sex is generally related to love and commitment?  Since women are often referred to as the more complex gender, do you think that what women want out of sex is just as complex?

Guys, does your sexual experiences impact your confidence and self-esteem?  Do you think your motivation for sex and what you get out of it differs from women?

375 comments Add your comment

Raqi

October 9th, 2009
2:07 pm

Four:

Me: Do you know what will really be fun to do tomorrow afternoon.

Mason: Have sex?

Me: NO! !

Mason: But you said fun.

Leggs

October 9th, 2009
2:07 pm

@Dream_n, I know you’re kidding me, RIGHT? Not once did I say, nor did I imply that sex is the end all. However, when you are in a relationship, sex is a major ingredient that’s helping to glue the relationship together. It’s not to be used as a bargaining chip. Sex with your man, a good F____ with your man, or simply a game of cat and mouse are stimulants that will help YOUR man keep his eyes on YOU!

Leggs

October 9th, 2009
2:08 pm

@Dream_n, at 23 you are a kid. Albeit a smart one with a good head on her shoulders, you still a kid!

That was funny, Raqi!

Raqi

October 9th, 2009
2:09 pm

Five:

Me: Baby It’s kind of chilly tonight, I was thinking about lighting the fireplace.

Mason: I’ve got some wood.

Me: LMBO

Leggs

October 9th, 2009
2:10 pm

Now, five was funny.

Kym

October 9th, 2009
2:16 pm

@Dream I talked to an male brother of mine(I have adopted two) because frankly if I want advise about a man I ask a man..I am a woman I can’t think like a man, or interpret the actions of men..so I am getting to the point I don’t try. So I asked Baby Bro about sex..He said men want sex. They like it, they crave it. It provides them with physical as well as mental relief after getting beat down, or the high they need when they are feeling like a champ. Anyhoo he explain that men will take the path of least resistance to get to sex. That means if they are in a relationship that is draining them of all the energy they had left from the last beat down..then they are perfectly willing to go across the path where the grass may not be greener but there are no thornbushes sticking him in the azz every five mins.

Raqi

October 9th, 2009
2:20 pm

Leggs,

The funniest thing he ever said to me in that nature was:
(Sunday morning getting ready for church, sipping on my cup tea)

Me: Hey babe it’s time to get up.

Mason: I am up, see.

I spit my tea out all over the rug. That one floored me.

Leggs

October 9th, 2009
2:23 pm

Good read, Kym!

Raqi, gotta love those quick comebacks!

Professor

October 9th, 2009
2:24 pm

…stepping back in.

What are we talking about? The wings were on point today!

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 9th, 2009
2:25 pm

Raqi – Well you tell them ladies they can get in my rotation and they can do it at least once a week but nobody gets laid on humpday.. Thats when me and the dude get haircuts..

Willie Dynamite

October 9th, 2009
2:25 pm

Kym – In a nutshell thats about 80% true. The last 20% depends on the man and circumstances.

Leggs

October 9th, 2009
2:25 pm

“an male brother of mine…”, sorry Kym but aren’t all brothers “male?” :wink:

Dream_n

October 9th, 2009
2:26 pm

@ Leggs

While I understand that SEX plays a role in sustaining a healthy relationship SEX is not a tactic of keeping a man… YOu may be the type to do back flips off of the dresser onto his manhood, or even put your legs over your head like a gymnist. If a man wants to cheat he will cheat regardless of what you are doing in the bedroom. Good SEX is not key to keeping a man locked in. While I do belive that having sex and being creative will keeps things interesting it will not keep a man tied down to you. If you believe once your SEX becomes tired and overrated your man will leave you then, maybe that’s not the man for you. The guy didn’t marry your VAGINA.. well at least one would hope he didn’t. When we get old and grey and can no longer “go at it”. I would like to think that he’s content with just me..

As far as the “KID” mambo jumbo one would like me to adhere to, NO I’m not a kid.

Kym

October 9th, 2009
2:26 pm

@Leggs, I cant take credit for that. Like I said I asked a man.

Raqi

October 9th, 2009
2:29 pm

SEX is not a tactic of keeping a man

You are right, Dream_n it isn’t, but the lack there of will definitely contribute to running him away.

Melodramatizulu

October 9th, 2009
2:30 pm

SEX is not a tactic of keeping a man

Dream_n:

its one of the tactics.

whats up with u and getting phluckked??
U dont like it??

Kym

October 9th, 2009
2:31 pm

True Leggs. They are.

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 9th, 2009
2:33 pm

Dream – Never under estimate some good good.. See you reading too much into it.. Youre trying to think like a dude.. thats where ya’ll get it wrong.. Dont try and understand it just know that you need to keep that thang hot, fresh and ready to be flogged at anytime or your guy will be floggin someone else.. Period

Leggs

October 9th, 2009
2:34 pm

“You are right, Dream_n it isn’t, but the lack there of will definitely contribute to running him away.

And that is all my post was saying. Not all men cheat. That sweet, that wet, that gushy stuff at home is enuf for some. But you best believe, sexual tension at home is a breeding ground for bigger problems.

Ok, ok, I take it back, you aren’t a kid in the sense of being a kid. I do consider you a very smart young woman!

Raqi

October 9th, 2009
2:35 pm

Youre trying to think like a dude…thats where ya’ll get it wrong

I just felt like repeating Infamous.

Kym

October 9th, 2009
2:36 pm

Willie D I didn’t say all men cheat and neither did Baby Bro. But he did say women don’t realize that men are not our best good girlfriend. We tend to want something from them they can’t give because it is not as he put it dude’s nature.

Leggs

October 9th, 2009
2:40 pm

Youre trying to think like a dude…thats where ya’ll get it wrong YEP YEP!

Raqi

October 9th, 2009
2:41 pm

Life is a teacher by experience, Speculation is the entertainment of fools.

Leggs

October 9th, 2009
2:41 pm

Ok, Raqi, I see you said the same thing.

Melodramatizulu

October 9th, 2009
2:42 pm

Not all men cheat,as long as theyre getting it.

i thoght i had to add that Leggs.
neva use sexx as weapon,talk it over and even if u dont agree,just make sure u do ur chores :lol: :lol: Its a chore to him too,but less heavy chore.

If u aint giving it to him,hes getting it smewehere else.

Better believe that!

Dream_n

October 9th, 2009
2:42 pm

@ Leggs

Then yes I agree with what you’re alluding to… It may contribute to him longing for more or something, but the “good good” as DK so eloquently put it, no matter how good it is, is not the nail in the coffin.

@Dk: I’m not trying to think like a dude, hell mose of the time I can’t really understand their actions or words. This is just my way of thinking.. is it wrong NO, is it right NO. Just my opinion.

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 9th, 2009
2:44 pm

Kym – I been saying just that..

Ex: If a woman goes on vacation she plans months in advance getting the best hotel with a view and best price. She has an Itinerary.. Her clothes are for every possible event. Her activities are included in her budget along with a map to get to said activities..

If a dude goes on vacation.. He packs a bag the night before finds a hotel maybe a week before, if he even has a hotel when he gets off the plane.. Has a the minimal amount of clothes to carry with him.. Plays it how it goes when he gets there..

See we dont even think like ya’ll period..

Raqi

October 9th, 2009
2:45 pm

but the “good good” as DK so eloquently put it, no matter how good it is, is not the nail in the coffin.

She told you, Infamous. Now take your behind somewhere and sit it down. What makes you think you know what a man wants and needs to stay grounded?

Kym

October 9th, 2009
2:47 pm

Okay I have decided to go with the Sony ereader instead of the Kindle. While it is not wireless, and has less capacity than Kindle, it comes in pink to support breast cancer(I lost two former coworkers this month), and there is no way I would ever store 1,500 books on a Kindle, so the capacity of the E-reader will be fine. Oh yeah and its priced less than the Kindle. That is my techincal update for today.

SexyCool

October 9th, 2009
2:47 pm

I’unno…I’d turn cartwheels naked down the middle of Peachtree in a snowstorm for the good-good WITH the soundtrack….

LAWD GEEZUS!!!!! CLAP, CLAP FOR THE GOOD GOOD!!!

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 9th, 2009
2:48 pm

Dream – Again u are under estimating the good good.. Tons of men marry wh0res just for that reason.. The coochie was just soooo good they cant even think without it.. Tons of dudes are in jail about that good good.. Even more are six feet deep about that good good.. Hence it is the nail in the coffin and sooo much more..

Deeva4Life

October 9th, 2009
2:52 pm

Dream_n – Your post speak from where you are now (at 23)…and that’s really the only place you can speak from because we can’t predict the future…LOL But as you grow older and experience more things, you may look at things a little different. In my experience, the way I thought at 23 is TOTALLY different from the way I think at 32.

czBrat

October 9th, 2009
2:53 pm

random thought …. i’m tired of working out and watching what i eat. i’ve decided to become a thick chic. :/

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 9th, 2009
2:53 pm

Raqi – I dont know what it takes to keep a man grounded.. I dont know what we need more than you women..

Let me say this.. If you have some “Outstanding”, “Dynomite” or “SC” then we are more willing to deal with your mess than if you dont.. SC will make a dude forget he has prblems for a little while.. Its like your favorite drug of choice..

And for all you blog rookies.. “SC” does not stand for Sexy Cool.. It stands for Super Coochie..

SexyCool

October 9th, 2009
2:54 pm

czBrat – Sentence #1 – Yes. I agree. Sentence #2 – I’ll pass.

Dream_n

October 9th, 2009
2:54 pm

@ Raqi

The beauty of blogging is that we get to express our opinions… and people want to put me in the KID category… pls

@ DK: I get where you’re going….

SexyCool

October 9th, 2009
2:57 pm

Infamous – ” SC will make a dude forget he has prblems for a little while.. Its like your favorite drug of choice..”

Yeah…I can do that too…LOL!!!

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 9th, 2009
2:57 pm

Oh I almost forgot my contribution to breast cancer week.. I am giving free breast screening.. I will caress, I mean feel for lumps. I will examine them very closely.. I see if they are so firm and so fully packed.. And if not perform the proper exercises to get them that way..

Leggs

October 9th, 2009
2:58 pm

You need to play 323 or 324?

I promise you this, I looked at the cell phone number of a friend last week. Those numbers were speaking to me cuz there were so many 3 7’s, 3 6’s and 3 8’s. I couldn’t get the right combination in my head. The number that evening was 868. I could have kicked myself because I felt it but couldn’t see it!!

Dream_n

October 9th, 2009
2:59 pm

@ Deeva4Life

I agree with what you’re saying :)

I can’t speak about what a 32 yr old is going through or what a 40 yr old is going through. I would imagine as I grow older views may change, but it’s impossible for me to speak from your (older crowd) standpoint.. I can only speak from mines.

It’s silly and childish to berrate what I say just b/c you don’t agree. Whether you agree or you don’t. Not everyone is going to agree on the same topic even when being in the same age group.

DuShawn

October 9th, 2009
3:00 pm

Show me the finest chick in the world, and I’ll show you a dude that’s tired of Phuckin her. I don’t care how good is.

Leggs

October 9th, 2009
3:01 pm

That should have read there were 3 7’s, 3 6’s and 3 8’s.

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 9th, 2009
3:01 pm

Dream – riddle me this.. Why you think a old dude gets him a young girl? For her stability, her fore thought, her cooking or her good good?

SexyCool

October 9th, 2009
3:02 pm

DuShawn – Not if she don’t keep the same dude.

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 9th, 2009
3:02 pm

Du – what it Du?

But you know dudes will sell they soul for some good coochie.. im not saying all but most will..

Kym

October 9th, 2009
3:03 pm

@DK its breast cancer month not week. By the By..Shout out to the NFL for their support this month. The pink gloves, shoes, armbands is hot.

Professor

October 9th, 2009
3:04 pm

@czBrat I always wonder what is considered thick.

@Dream keep on sharing your opinion…you make some good points and ask great questions.

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 9th, 2009
3:05 pm

Dream – Its gonna happen.. People argue on here sometimes.. Dont take it personal.. People are gonna say that you sound crazy but you know who and what you are so it doesnt matter..

Raqi

October 9th, 2009
3:05 pm

Dream_n I never said you do not have a right to express your opinion. We all have that right. But you are only 23 and have a long way to go and lot to experience.

Just because you have been cut and had birth a baby and played house does not give you the experience of those of us who are 20 years ahead of you and have experienced a lot more. Some of us had to learn the hard way what we know now, and I am not shy to say that you have a lot to learn judging by some of the statements I read from you on here.

I’ve been your age. And at your age my son was 2, nearly three years old. So yeah, I do know a little something amount thinking I knew it all at 23 and not wanting to listen to those who really knew tell me different.

I am not trying to take anything away from your life experiences but when a person, a man, tells you how men think and what men want and what a man will do, for you to tell him he is wrong in so many words, says a lot.

Dream_n

October 9th, 2009
3:06 pm

@ DK

I’m going to go with the obvious… given your view thus far.. :)