GM all!

the mere fact that i’m at work makes everyone there unappealing. perhaps i have some sort of subconscious “no-no” reflex going on.

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Good Morning All,

Yes, I dated a coworker and there was no drama at the workplace because as adults we left work at work and home at home. Work is where I make the money to provide me with the comfort and security of home. I do my level best not to let home get in the way of work or vice versa. When it didnt work out we moved on. No drama.

As for Dave’s revelation I think it was a great comeback to the attempt of an idiot. So what he screwed around on his wife. Up until the point he married her I believe after the birth of his son. They were just two people shacking up. Sometimes the best solution is the truth.

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What happens if the relationship doesn’t work out?

That question right there is the main I avoided the workplace pens when I was dating. Ironically I tend to actually like the men that I allow myself to be in a relationship with. I would not be able to function as needed working daily with someone that I broke up with. Or he broke up with me. I like the out-of-sight out-of-mind way of doing things.

Another issue would be seeing each every single day and having to spend time together away from work. I imagine that could get tiring over time.

And last it could cause drama and tension dealing with other women flirting with him. Some being knowledgeable of the relationship I would imagine and some not. As we have discussed before we women can be ruthless and I would rather not deal with “man” issues at work.

There was one guy several years back that I would have dated for sure in a different environment. But yeah although office romances are fairly easy to come by I don’t think it is the smart thing to do.

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Ohhhh I forgot to mention this about dating at work. One of my male friends from college dated a young lady at his job. He worked in a huge building for a major corporation. Well the young lady worked in a different area and on a different floor so he was cool with getting to know her since they would never interact at work. Long story short he took her to lunch for the first date. She ordered three sandwiches, three chips and three sodas. When he inquired about this she mentioned one was for now, the other was for her dinner later and the third was for a coworker she owed lunch. Well he never took her out again, but he paid for all this junk (I would have yelled DUTCH) and she told everyone that he was a sucker! He thought other woman was hitting him on, but she had put it out that he was good for an easy lunch.

I think he was too ashamed to share this with folks, but since we were friends and my background he wanted to know how to handle this mess.

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For Real this has got to be the best one yet.. dude.

http://www.ajc.com/business/dekalb-man-wins-9m-156327.html

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I work at the airport which is like a big college campus. Dating among those that work together (although they may not work for the same company) is pretty much a given.

I hired Shthead at my company after we began our relationship. I would not ever do it again. I had to hear work, work, work all the damn time. Shortly after I ended things, he managed to get himself fired which was a HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF for me. (It was also proof to me that God answered the prayer I prayed of removing him totally from my life.)

Now that I’ve had that experience, not only will I not date anybody that I work with, I will not date anyone that works at the same place.

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Good morning, I saw the story of Dave’s debachary and the humor he used to excuse it, I was in awe b/c his audience cheered him on which seemed to pumped him up even more. I saw nothing funny about having your affairs aired before millions and to top it off, making jokes about it. Two thumps down for Dave!

I’ve dated a co worker, I will never do that again, although it wasn’t a total nightmare, I walked on pins and needle until he left the company in fear of him spilling our dirty little secrets. Although everyone suspected something was going on, and yes some did pry, (people are so darn nosey) I didn’t utter a thing from my lips or gave any body gestures that would give anything away.

I’m a software engineer, so I’ve never had any really hot coworkers, anyway Swiss I can agree to that

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Good morning…

This IMO is a no-no.

I think that it just isn’t practical. If things go bad, you have to be around that person. If things go well, you have the issue of no real diversification in money. My parent’s have neighbors who both worked at the Ford Plant in Hapeville. It closed and BOTH are without a job.

The other issue is that it can really get messy. I worked at one firm where a male co-worker met a female while on business trip. He got all Mark Sanford-like and said that the female was his “soulmate”. However, his wife who worked in Human Resources at the firm found out about it, and filed for divorce. Here is the messy part……Her attorney sent subpoenas to his whole department and to the workers that accompanied him on said business trip. I didn’t answer the subpoena, and was never called. However, it was a big hassle for me.

He ended up leaving the firm, and she still works there.

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@Kym that is a funny article regarding the penis lawsuit!

Before I would attempt to date anyone in the office I would sit back and anaylze how this person interacts with the other co-workers. Time will reveal all you need to know if you want to date someone from the office!

@Sexycool…. How did that office romance get started? What attracted you to him?

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On topic; I do not poo-poo where i eat!

Professor You know what?…That’s just jacked up how this female did that. But hey…we are amongst the trife, err’y day.

How should he handle it? Stay away from them and out of that work drama? At best, he should choose to just leave it be…and maybe still call her, and the new females on it…let em’ know he see their silly triflin bs…

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Yes, I have been romantically involved with a coworker. Although we rushed into the relationship (lots of chemistry), I cared very much for this person. It turned out to be a very painful experience and life-changing experience for me. Particularly since we continued to work on projects together. So all of these post-dating mixed messages he continued to send me (let’s go out…blah, blah blah), started to impact my ability to concentrate at work. As a result, I am very cautious about mixing business with one-on-one pleasure. I do and I will go out with groups of coworkers particularly if I am attracted to a coworker. I want to slowly interact with the coworker in a a “safe” group setting so that I can see how he acts outside of work, whether or not he is already involved in a relationship, whether or not he is interested in a long term relationship, etc.

As far as Dave L goes, I think it’s just plain sad all around. Sad for these young employee(s) (yes they were of age, but still inexperienced), for his wife, for their son, and even for Dave. Although this happened before he was married, it still happened while he was dating his now wife. How humiliating for her. Although I know adulterly happens, and that the media jumps on showing men of power who fall from their pedestals, the reason ratings are high for these stories is because it is wrong. People’s lives are destroyed by betrayal, broken promises. Do we really know whether or not people complained about sexual harrassment as Dave’s company, which is ironically named worldwide pants? He owned the company….so the buck stopped there.
I cannot imagine my father, brother in-laws, husbands of my friends EVER putting their own temporary pleasure ahead of what they are committed to: their wives, families, themselves.

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@Elijah I know you mentioned sitting back and watching the female to see how she interacts at work. Well some people have their PROfessionalism thingy going on and you don’t know that “shawty” will bust the windows out your car and for the ladies that man will tell all your secrets and stalk you. I have seen some of the best associates on the business side change when sex and love enters the picture. That is why I am so strongly against the whole dating thing at work.

Plus the person in the relationship with the LEAST interest carries the MOST power. Well that powerless person usually tries to get back at the person some kind of way. As HR I don’t like cleaning up the mess. Whew I just vented…sorry/

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I currently work for a company, where there is only one person that I get along with and am slightly attracted to. We are friends, so you know there are snide remarks about since since we really only interact with each other. In the end, we don’t care what others have to say. Sometimes this can be a hinderance on any office relationship.

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BSandwich, people are going to suspect the obvious/something whether there’s some truth to it or not.

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Enter Cliche’ Here

1. Never Get Ya Honey Where You Get Ya Money
2. Never Sh!t Where You Eat
3. Keep Business And Pleasure Separate
4. Business First Pleasure —-
5. ——————————-

Understand.

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Work place romance work for some and not so great for others. I have several co workers thru out the company who have dated and are now married. All props to them!

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BSandwich I hope everything works out for you. Have you expressed your feeling to him regarding the constant contact? That should be the first step, who knows he may feel the same way.

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Sassy – Where is that gold H1 vaccine?

Funny how when something is only available to a few, is when everbody wants it.

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Morning all

While I personally have never dated a co-worker, I wouldn’t call it a bad thing. I know people who work and live together and keep their personal business private while at work.. I think it can work for two individuals that are mature enough to handle the situation..

Personally I don’t think I would like having the constant interaction with 1 person. Working with you,riding home with you, walking in the door with you, eating dinner together, sleeping together, then waking up and doing it all over again 5 days a week. I think I would get tired of seeing that person.. Plus I like to miss a person.. its something about being at work (with all the b.s) then coming home or meeting up with your S/O.. seeing their face and everything else becoming irrelevant… If I was with you all day and night, when do I have time to miss you?? JMO

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Those cases when folks met at work, dated, and go on to get married are rare, and totally different as it relates to Dave’s affair…he clearly should have stayed out of the “ink”…his actions not only embarrassed him, but his family (wife,kids), work even…That lil “dip” had it’s residual affects for sure…will wife forgive him?

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The only thing IMO worst than dating someone you work with is having an affair outside of your relationship with someone you work with.

Disastrous to say the least.

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his actions not only embarrassed him, but his family (wife,kids), work even

i doubt the wife is that embarrased,shes wife coz she worked with him too and did the mumbo jumbo with him there.
She deprived other girls of same.She wont say it in public but she happier,she the wife than them.

I luv Dave altho he a derty old man.I cld sleep with one.
Doing a rotation of ur subs like that???

I doubt i wld do it.

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Remember folks

Dave just got married like a year ago. They had been dating for like, 20+ years before marriage.

Not only did she know about his affairs, she forgave him before the wedding.

As for the boss/employee relationship, if there were lawsuits that were to be filed, they’da [the women] filed ‘em already.

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Even though I would not venture into another work place relationship, I would agree with those that have said that the success or failure of this type of arrangement would weigh heavily on the maturity level of the indivuals involved.

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Oh wow @ Professor. He came into her workplace and assaulted her? That is so horrible, demeaning, and disrespectful.

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Dave took back the power in the situation.

Yes he did SexyCool, yes he did.

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Even Dave knew/said what he did was disrespectful to his marriage/wife…

Wrong is wrong…he could have apologize from the rooftop of Mount Calvary…he still was wrong.

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Actually Cee, me telling them to keep their hands wash is a given since they were young, it never caused their focus on their studies to drift away, somethings are just normal to some than others.

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Re: Dave’s Wife – She will just go home and cry in her pile of Money! How many of you put up with ish for the perks-be honest.

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WOW Professor were the police called in for the slap down? Were any charges pressed against him? If something like that were to happen at my company Dekalb finest is only minutes away. with all the camera’s in place here, he won’t be a fugitive for long.

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Proff, i dont do lunch with co-workers either..a hello,yes,and some water cooler talk,is jus fine

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Workplace romance,dating, hitting whatever you wanna call it is totally totally out. I have also seen the checks cut with the zero’s and commas because of it. The constant reminder I have is that I haven’t run into any puddy good enough for me to jeopardize my check, family lively-hood, etc. I akin this to trickin. Do I want to lost this X amt of $$$ every month for a easy piece HEYAL NAW. The sad part is with presumed power females literally throw themselves at you. I have over 60 employees working for me and prolly 70-80% are females. At any given point I could hit 6-10 within a week. Not a hard decision at all for me but I know some that take advantage and end up getting a check cut because of them and then get cut themselves.

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@Grace she begged us not to call the police on him and said that she was ok and it was just a minor misunderstanding and that everything was ok. I told her she could leave early with pay and to call me when she was ready to return to work b/c I was ok with her taking a LOA. I went over her vacation time/personal time with her and if my memory is correct she had about 2 weeks of vacation time and a few personal days. I told her if she needed more we could work something out. She did not want to leave work, but eventually agreed to take the rest of the day off. I mentioned just going somewhere to have lunch and calling the EAP hotline. She came back the next day and we did notify the authorities as it related to trespassing (we did not want him back on the property), but she told me that this is personal and a small misunderstanding I am not going against my husband. I used to volunteer at a treatment facility so I saw the look in her face…she would have fought me before she talked to the po-po. I did let her know that we had a right to protect all associates and we operate in a safe environment. The police wrote a report and a letter was sent to him about staying off the property, but as far as I know they did not do anything about her being slapped…plus she left when I said I have to call the police…that is what made her leave early. I heard that he did not work.

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@Elijah I was going to say yes to the lemon pepper wings, but you took my “name” out your moniker.

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Dan @11.29,that feels like stolen puddsy,altho i admit,its the sweatest tasting pudssy!

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Sometimes large companies are like college campuses and work place dating is quite prevalent. I’ve gone fishing in the work pond before and come out unscathed. One big problem is when you transfer for your job, meeting people outside of the work place is a real challenge and you find yourself attracted to your coworkers.

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LOL @ SexyC 11:23

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@Infamous, to add to your cliche – “Don’t shyt in your own backyard,” or “you’ll choke to death trying to sample thE grass on the other side!”

I’ve dated someone who worked in the same bldg as I, only to find out the idiot was married/separated after proposing to me. That was my one and only office bldg. romance.

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@ Professor “I see too much back stabbing and other mess to trust anything outside of hello”

Amen. I am one of those people others “confide” in. What I see and hear has taught me to be ther friendliest person in the bldg…but once I leave the bldg I do not take my work with me, I totally separate my work life from my “play” life. When it comes to associating with coworkers, I might go to lunch once in a long while, may even go out to a pub when in Dismal Seepage, Idaho or WherethehellamI, England…whereever I am when on the road, but not more than I have to to keep up working relationships. Just good (read SMART) business IMHO.

Having said that, I did get another long email last night from the lady who just departed our company…HMMMM.

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Not worth it – did it in my early 20’s – dated a guy at work – were together for years – then I found out he was screwing around with a bunch of girls in the office – everyone knew but me.

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@ Melo

“sweatest” Are we talking sweet or maybe a little salty here?

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@Grace she worked in the plant by the time her manager brought her to my office he was long gone. First off I was concerned about her safety and she was very content and did not seem upset, until I said we need to call the police. I knew she would not be able to continue her shift just think of the distraction, but she did not want to go home. When I said he can no longer come on our property and I was calling the police she bailed. I offered her a LOA because I knew she had to be embarrassed and quite frankly the economy was good…I figured she would take the time off and find another job and not come back. The police did ask for his name (I knew that from the emergency contact info) and they talked to her manager that really did not see much and the police did not make an effort.

We had theft incident there as well and the police did not do anything I had to have a meeting with someone higher on the totem pole to get some results.

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cast member = dancer…C

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Similac – Naw just a hood chick with a big azz and a nice smile that could type and answer phones. Sweet girl just corrupt.

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@Poppa G Have you ever had to report a professor to the Dean of Students? I think I am at the point where I am going to have to do that, cause this joker…

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Melo okay, I was concerned because my Dr wants me to limit my salt intake and I hate to give upp some of my favorite foods

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@ WillieD – Lol okay…i know one…but sad part is, she is wide open with hers…

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Is it time for Confessions yet Raqi??

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****Former dancer and she would get herself hired at a med to large comapany and proceed to seduce a upper level White mgmt person.*****

I can see this happening in a different variation! I had one case in which the lady filed sexual harassment with the EEOC after working less than two weeks. I have seen so much in my career, and not to mention the stories people share with me when I teach. It is a nasty world out here…some folks have a corporate hustle just like the street hustlers.

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Sure, some can handle office romances and some even marry, but for those that turn awkward, why take the gamble. Here’s my take on office romances. Although both parties go in as consenting adults, not all leave as consenting “adults.” The lustful exchanges, the intrigue of conference room trysts, the delight in believing the wool is being pooled over the eyes of many coworkers and the sheer excitement of role playing while at work is extremely stimulating. How exciting to come to work and do a “sharon stone” for your honey! How exciting to know you can sneak in a conf. room and lock the door for a quick nibble (your snack or just his snack). The mind is in overdrive and can help w/productivity, in the beginning.

Now, when all this salacious activity wanes and broken lunch dates are now the norm, bitterness surfaces and the workplace is no longer a pleasant place to be. The only agenda item now focuses upon making each others job unbearable. This takes too much energy. Start and finish as coworkers who respect each other and find romance outside of work because when it ends, it’s usually not pretty nor comfortable moving forward.

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