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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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The Company’s Sexy Ink

I am not sure if you have all seen the news about David Letterman. In a nutshell, Ole’ Dave was dipping his pen in the company ink, repeatedly, for years.  I watched him reveal the story about a man attempting to extort money to keep the dirty secrets on the air.  It was extremely odd because the audience was laughing as he was recounting the ordeal, weaving in humor whenever he could.

I suppose it can be a cautionary tale about dating and sleeping with co-workers.  I doubt that someone with his public image will ever have true remorse about what he did.  I just wonder about the women that were involved.

When you work with people you tend to reach a level of comfort. If you don’t have boundaries, it would be easy to  cross the line and give in to the attraction you feel. It seems as if today’s society is more accepting of workplace romances. I know couples who openly date at work and it doesn’t seem to be problematic for them.

Have you ever dated a co-worker? Was it  a good experience or a nightmare?

If someone new started working in your company, would you pursue things if you were attracted to them right away?

Do you think there are ways to make dating a co-worker actually work for you? How do you avoid the drama in the office? What happens if the relationship doesn’t work out?

What do you think of Letterman’s revelation? How do you think he has handled the “scandal” of dipping his pen in the company ink?

Happy Wednesday!

282 comments Add your comment

Raqi

October 7th, 2009
10:59 am

Dave took back the power in the situation.

Yes he did SexyCool, yes he did.

czBrat

October 7th, 2009
10:59 am

PROF, why did he choose to confront her at work? did he think the affair was with a co-worker? just wondering.

Cemeeli

October 7th, 2009
11:03 am

Even Dave knew/said what he did was disrespectful to his marriage/wife…

Wrong is wrong…he could have apologize from the rooftop of Mount Calvary…he still was wrong.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 7th, 2009
11:06 am

I agree with the Professor on this one. I personally think it is a bad idea on multiple levels, from legal to personal space. Down at the “worker bee” level it may go without issues, but once you go up a few rungs on the corporate ladder it can be perilous. As I mentioned earlier in the week, I have seen several large checks written over the years because a boss got to banging his secretary and when the bloom was off the rose, the boss was stupid enough to try to get her cut from the company and the next thing you know representatives of “Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe” appear on the doorstep with a nice little legal document.

Offices sometimes/often are sexually charged and I’m no saint, I’ve been really tempted many times. I’ve flown really close to the flame several times, but that hour or two of passion can come with a very large price tag…especially when one or both have “other commitments”. There were many reasons why it was an actually written instruction in the Army’s Officer Handbook that “fraternization between officer and enlisted” was a no no.

Grace

October 7th, 2009
11:09 am

Actually Cee, me telling them to keep their hands wash is a given since they were young, it never caused their focus on their studies to drift away, somethings are just normal to some than others.

Professor

October 7th, 2009
11:13 am

@Compelling/czBrat

Apparently he was very abusive and one of her coworkers who lived in the same apt complex knew this. Well this lady told him that she was having an affair with someone on the job. So he came to the job and slapped her down and proceeded to yell “where is John Doe at where he at.” Well no one said anything not even John and one of the managers finally told him I am going to have to ask you to leave and he cussed that guy out and left.

I don’t have anything against coworkers, but I do not date them nor am I friends with them. I became friends with some former coworkers AFTER I left the company. Being in HR I see too much back stabbing and other mess to trust anything outside of hello.

Lurker

October 7th, 2009
11:16 am

Re: Dave’s Wife – She will just go home and cry in her pile of Money! How many of you put up with ish for the perks-be honest.

Melodramatizulu

October 7th, 2009
11:17 am

I think im gonna urge my brother to sue Popeyes.
A female supervisor there urged him to bang her and they proceeded to do it in the stock room.
They went to serve their customers, right after the do,no washing hands,no sanitizer,Nada!
I might get a lil commission on this myself and neva have to work for a few years.
U think i got a shot??

Grace

October 7th, 2009
11:18 am

WOW Professor were the police called in for the slap down? Were any charges pressed against him? If something like that were to happen at my company Dekalb finest is only minutes away. with all the camera’s in place here, he won’t be a fugitive for long.

Cemeeli

October 7th, 2009
11:18 am

Grace – Yes darlin, we can keep our kids hands clean and smart too! lol

…i didn’t mean that to say that we all do not normally teach our kids to wash their hands…no maam…that should be normal! My point is i am not going to have a germphobia on my hands cause the focus latley has shifted so much since this virus epidemic…Well at least i have recieve roughly 3-4 memos concerning this h1n1 virus from the school…I know more about the virus than i care to know…just give me the info that the chances are slim.

Melodramatizulu

October 7th, 2009
11:19 am

Proff, i dont do lunch with co-workers either..a hello,yes,and some water cooler talk,is jus fine

Elijah

October 7th, 2009
11:21 am

Folks need to start acting like adults regarding work place relationships! Dating happens in every aspect of our lives and you have know what you can and cannot handle!

Dave… was only dating his current wife for 30yrs and I am sure she knew Dave was bumping uglies with the co-workers. In the entertainment business that goes on all the time!

By the way Professor anyone who feels scorned may come and break out your windows whether they are a co-worker or someone you met out for lunch! SO when do you want to meet so I can feed you those Lemon Pepper Wings? :wink:

@Sexycool…. So how did this co-worker break you down? Were you impressed with his resume or his looks?

Willie Dynamite

October 7th, 2009
11:23 am

Workplace romance,dating, hitting whatever you wanna call it is totally totally out. I have also seen the checks cut with the zero’s and commas because of it. The constant reminder I have is that I haven’t run into any puddy good enough for me to jeopardize my check, family lively-hood, etc. I akin this to trickin. Do I want to lost this X amt of $$$ every month for a easy piece HEYAL NAW. The sad part is with presumed power females literally throw themselves at you. I have over 60 employees working for me and prolly 70-80% are females. At any given point I could hit 6-10 within a week. Not a hard decision at all for me but I know some that take advantage and end up getting a check cut because of them and then get cut themselves.

SexyCool - Um. Yeah. What you said.

October 7th, 2009
11:23 am

Elijah – I’m not sure what is hard to understand about what I wrote.

I was already seeing Shthead.
He needed a job.
I hired him.

Professor

October 7th, 2009
11:28 am

@Grace she begged us not to call the police on him and said that she was ok and it was just a minor misunderstanding and that everything was ok. I told her she could leave early with pay and to call me when she was ready to return to work b/c I was ok with her taking a LOA. I went over her vacation time/personal time with her and if my memory is correct she had about 2 weeks of vacation time and a few personal days. I told her if she needed more we could work something out. She did not want to leave work, but eventually agreed to take the rest of the day off. I mentioned just going somewhere to have lunch and calling the EAP hotline. She came back the next day and we did notify the authorities as it related to trespassing (we did not want him back on the property), but she told me that this is personal and a small misunderstanding I am not going against my husband. I used to volunteer at a treatment facility so I saw the look in her face…she would have fought me before she talked to the po-po. I did let her know that we had a right to protect all associates and we operate in a safe environment. The police wrote a report and a letter was sent to him about staying off the property, but as far as I know they did not do anything about her being slapped…plus she left when I said I have to call the police…that is what made her leave early. I heard that he did not work.

Dan

October 7th, 2009
11:29 am

@Willie D

Two words: Plausible deniability.

At work: professional to cold shoulder, acknowledging her in the same fashion as every other woman.

After work: NO PHOTOS!!! Leave no incriminating evidence (text messages, clothes, etc.)

All that leaves is the after work phone records which could be explained away if need be.

Anyone get to asking questions, I deny like Peter did Jesus…..(and it’s my word against hers)

Professor

October 7th, 2009
11:30 am

@Elijah I was going to say yes to the lemon pepper wings, but you took my “name” out your moniker. :(

Raqi

October 7th, 2009
11:32 am

“Big Boss” always set himself to sign that blank check when he goes dipping his pen in the company ink. Women are deceitful and ruthless.

Look at our former POTUS Mr. Clinton. He didn’t have to write a check but look at what it nearly cost him. That little girl engaged in a sexual act with that man obviously with the intentions of using it against him later. Why would any woman keep and not wash a dress that a man she had some type of relations with deposited his fluids on? She was out to get him before she kneeled down in front of him.

I wrote my thoughts at my spot this morning about a statement that I heard last night while watching “I Think I Love My Wife”. Chris Rock’s character superior told him “A man can lose a lot of money chasing women, but will never lose women chasing money”. That statement IMO could very well apply to the “big boss” that play with the help.

Melodramatizulu

October 7th, 2009
11:32 am

Dan @11.29,that feels like stolen puddsy,altho i admit,its the sweatest tasting pudssy!

Grace

October 7th, 2009
11:33 am

Professor, that’s different, since he came on company property it was out of her hands no matter how much tears she shed, dude was going down. I don’t know any work place that would allow a prep to just walk away after causing such violence.

Former ATL Girl

October 7th, 2009
11:33 am

Sometimes large companies are like college campuses and work place dating is quite prevalent. I’ve gone fishing in the work pond before and come out unscathed. One big problem is when you transfer for your job, meeting people outside of the work place is a real challenge and you find yourself attracted to your coworkers.

Kym

October 7th, 2009
11:35 am

I see the sun!!!

czBrat

October 7th, 2009
11:35 am

LOL @ SexyC 11:23 :o

Raqi

October 7th, 2009
11:35 am

sweatest tasting pudssy!

LOL Melo. I know you misspell words on purpose as your signature, but in instance like that one right there, it totally changed what you were trying to say.

Leggs

October 7th, 2009
11:36 am

@Infamous, to add to your cliche – “Don’t shyt in your own backyard,” or “you’ll choke to death trying to sample thE grass on the other side!”

I’ve dated someone who worked in the same bldg as I, only to find out the idiot was married/separated after proposing to me. That was my one and only office bldg. romance.

hryder

October 7th, 2009
11:36 am

September 1, 1968, a young woman walked into an office we were forced to share due to a fire in previous offices. That January we married and remain perfectly content in our marriage which has provided us with two children and three grandchildren. Our secret is that both of us respect each other and attempt to do nothing that will offend or cause physical or emotional discomfort to one anoher. We both realize that far too many people are so self-centered that they have no problems with causing discomfort in others as long as their experiences are always wine and roses.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 7th, 2009
11:37 am

@ Professor “I see too much back stabbing and other mess to trust anything outside of hello”

Amen. I am one of those people others “confide” in. What I see and hear has taught me to be ther friendliest person in the bldg…but once I leave the bldg I do not take my work with me, I totally separate my work life from my “play” life. When it comes to associating with coworkers, I might go to lunch once in a long while, may even go out to a pub when in Dismal Seepage, Idaho or WherethehellamI, England…whereever I am when on the road, but not more than I have to to keep up working relationships. Just good (read SMART) business IMHO.

Having said that, I did get another long email last night from the lady who just departed our company…HMMMM.

hryder

October 7th, 2009
11:38 am

September 1, 1968, a young woman walked into an office we were forced to share due to a fire in previous offices. That January we married and remain perfectly content in our marriage which has provided us with two children and three grandchildren. Our secret is that both of us respect each other and attempt to do nothing that will offend or cause physical or emotional discomfort to one another. We both realize that far too many people are so self-centered that they have no problems with causing discomfort in others as long as their experiences are always wine and roses.

jaye g

October 7th, 2009
11:39 am

Not worth it – did it in my early 20’s – dated a guy at work – were together for years – then I found out he was screwing around with a bunch of girls in the office – everyone knew but me.

Willie Dynamite

October 7th, 2009
11:39 am

Back in the early to mid 90’s I had a lil friend-girl that used this as a side business. Former dancer and she would get herself hired at a med to large comapany and proceed to seduce a upper level White mgmt person. After about 3 mos she would extort him by either threatening to tell HR or his wife. Usually the perp would just pay up a few monthly stipends until she found another sucka. Sad but true.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 7th, 2009
11:42 am

@ Melo

“sweatest” Are we talking sweet or maybe a little salty here? ;-)

Cemeeli

October 7th, 2009
11:43 am

@WillieD – ooo…Kay!

This young lady wasn’t an ex-Disney World cast member (literally) by chance would she?

..interesting…

Professor

October 7th, 2009
11:43 am

@Grace she worked in the plant by the time her manager brought her to my office he was long gone. First off I was concerned about her safety and she was very content and did not seem upset, until I said we need to call the police. I knew she would not be able to continue her shift just think of the distraction, but she did not want to go home. When I said he can no longer come on our property and I was calling the police she bailed. I offered her a LOA because I knew she had to be embarrassed and quite frankly the economy was good…I figured she would take the time off and find another job and not come back. The police did ask for his name (I knew that from the emergency contact info) and they talked to her manager that really did not see much and the police did not make an effort.

We had theft incident there as well and the police did not do anything I had to have a meeting with someone higher on the totem pole to get some results.

Melodramatizulu

October 7th, 2009
11:44 am

the perp would just pay up a few monthly stipends until she found another sucka

being men or Mars has its weaknesses!
Female brains are in their hearts,smetimes & rarely on their vjays,Men’s brains are on the dyckk most times.

Cemeeli

October 7th, 2009
11:44 am

cast member = dancer…C

Melodramatizulu

October 7th, 2009
11:46 am

Randyt/Raqi,not the lick taste,but the taste u get after and during the whole experience.

Willie Dynamite

October 7th, 2009
11:46 am

Similac – Naw just a hood chick with a big azz and a nice smile that could type and answer phones. Sweet girl just corrupt.

Raqi

October 7th, 2009
11:46 am

WillieDynamite I was watching a show one night, I don’t remember the name, but this lady was a theif that targeted rich married men and her thing was robbing the men she met after having sex with them. (It was probably something on the Lifetime channel) She knew that they would not report it nor tell their spouse because they would have to explain why they were even there in the hotel in the first place.

I don’t remember how she got caught but it was hilarious and sad at the same time.

Kym

October 7th, 2009
11:47 am

@Poppa G Have you ever had to report a professor to the Dean of Students? I think I am at the point where I am going to have to do that, cause this joker…

Raqi

October 7th, 2009
11:48 am

LOL RandyT. I don’t think sweat is the taste most go for.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 7th, 2009
11:49 am

Melo okay, I was concerned because my Dr wants me to limit my salt intake and I hate to give upp some of my favorite foods ;-)

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 7th, 2009
11:51 am

@ Raqi ;-) See, in a good mood.

Cemeeli

October 7th, 2009
11:52 am

@ WillieD – Lol okay…i know one…but sad part is, she is wide open with hers…

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 7th, 2009
11:53 am

@ Melo

Just “effing” wit ya!!!

Melodramatizulu

October 7th, 2009
11:53 am

Is it time for Confessions yet Raqi??

Debdoes

October 7th, 2009
11:53 am

Dave and his wife ‘dated’ for 20 years before getting married in March…guys, they lived together! Plus, they have a now 6 year old child between them. What part of committed relationship am I missing in the living together part? I live with my partner and he knows his ‘body part’ will end up on the curb next to the leaves and cigarette butts if he ever does this to me. signed: Lorena Bobbit protege.

Professor

October 7th, 2009
11:54 am

****Former dancer and she would get herself hired at a med to large comapany and proceed to seduce a upper level White mgmt person.*****

I can see this happening in a different variation! I had one case in which the lady filed sexual harassment with the EEOC after working less than two weeks. I have seen so much in my career, and not to mention the stories people share with me when I teach. It is a nasty world out here…some folks have a corporate hustle just like the street hustlers.

Raqi

October 7th, 2009
11:54 am

I don’t know Melo. You have to ask Kym, that’s her baby. :lol:

Leggs

October 7th, 2009
11:55 am

Sure, some can handle office romances and some even marry, but for those that turn awkward, why take the gamble. Here’s my take on office romances. Although both parties go in as consenting adults, not all leave as consenting “adults.” The lustful exchanges, the intrigue of conference room trysts, the delight in believing the wool is being pooled over the eyes of many coworkers and the sheer excitement of role playing while at work is extremely stimulating. How exciting to come to work and do a “sharon stone” for your honey! How exciting to know you can sneak in a conf. room and lock the door for a quick nibble (your snack or just his snack). The mind is in overdrive and can help w/productivity, in the beginning.

Now, when all this salacious activity wanes and broken lunch dates are now the norm, bitterness surfaces and the workplace is no longer a pleasant place to be. The only agenda item now focuses upon making each others job unbearable. This takes too much energy. Start and finish as coworkers who respect each other and find romance outside of work because when it ends, it’s usually not pretty nor comfortable moving forward.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 7th, 2009
11:56 am

@ Debdoes

Good post!