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The Company’s Sexy Ink

I am not sure if you have all seen the news about David Letterman. In a nutshell, Ole’ Dave was dipping his pen in the company ink, repeatedly, for years.  I watched him reveal the story about a man attempting to extort money to keep the dirty secrets on the air.  It was extremely odd because the audience was laughing as he was recounting the ordeal, weaving in humor whenever he could.

I suppose it can be a cautionary tale about dating and sleeping with co-workers.  I doubt that someone with his public image will ever have true remorse about what he did.  I just wonder about the women that were involved.

When you work with people you tend to reach a level of comfort. If you don’t have boundaries, it would be easy to  cross the line and give in to the attraction you feel. It seems as if today’s society is more accepting of workplace romances. I know couples who openly date at work and it doesn’t seem to be problematic for them.

Have you ever dated a co-worker? Was it  a good experience or a nightmare?

If someone new started working in your company, would you pursue things if you were attracted to them right away?

Do you think there are ways to make dating a co-worker actually work for you? How do you avoid the drama in the office? What happens if the relationship doesn’t work out?

What do you think of Letterman’s revelation? How do you think he has handled the “scandal” of dipping his pen in the company ink?

Happy Wednesday!

282 comments Add your comment

czBrat

October 7th, 2009
8:35 am

GM all!

the mere fact that i’m at work makes everyone there unappealing. perhaps i have some sort of subconscious “no-no” reflex going on.

I'm swiss

October 7th, 2009
8:39 am

Seems like a recipe for disaster to me. The only way I could see it working is if you don’t actually work that closely together — otherwise, I can see all kinds of problems, both at work and at home.

Then again, I’m a software engineer, so I’ve never had any really hot coworkers, anyway… :lol:

Kym

October 7th, 2009
8:56 am

Good Morning All,

Yes, I dated a coworker and there was no drama at the workplace because as adults we left work at work and home at home. Work is where I make the money to provide me with the comfort and security of home. I do my level best not to let home get in the way of work or vice versa. When it didnt work out we moved on. No drama.

As for Dave’s revelation I think it was a great comeback to the attempt of an idiot. So what he screwed around on his wife. Up until the point he married her I believe after the birth of his son. They were just two people shacking up. Sometimes the best solution is the truth.

Cemeeli

October 7th, 2009
8:58 am

…morning…

Swissman You’re shining on software engineers, like i do accounting people. :) funny…

Raqi

October 7th, 2009
9:16 am

What happens if the relationship doesn’t work out?

That question right there is the main I avoided the workplace pens when I was dating. Ironically I tend to actually like the men that I allow myself to be in a relationship with. I would not be able to function as needed working daily with someone that I broke up with. Or he broke up with me. I like the out-of-sight out-of-mind way of doing things.

Another issue would be seeing each every single day and having to spend time together away from work. I imagine that could get tiring over time.

And last it could cause drama and tension dealing with other women flirting with him. Some being knowledgeable of the relationship I would imagine and some not. As we have discussed before we women can be ruthless and I would rather not deal with “man” issues at work.

There was one guy several years back that I would have dated for sure in a different environment. But yeah although office romances are fairly easy to come by I don’t think it is the smart thing to do.

Professor

October 7th, 2009
9:33 am

I am 100 and 55% against dating at work! Some of the messiest investigations I have seen involved this matter and once the relationship was over and the woman was “jilted “ and the man did his “guy talk” we had a nasty sexual harassment claim.

Next I am old school to a certain degree. With the economy being what it is I would not want all my “eggs in one basket.” Where am I going with this notion? I would hate for my SO and me to experience a layoff at the same time.

BTW Dave handled this wonderfully he used his strengths (comedy) to share the bad news and guess what his ratings exploded!!!!

Professor

October 7th, 2009
9:41 am

Ohhhh I forgot to mention this about dating at work. One of my male friends from college dated a young lady at his job. He worked in a huge building for a major corporation. Well the young lady worked in a different area and on a different floor so he was cool with getting to know her since they would never interact at work. Long story short he took her to lunch for the first date. She ordered three sandwiches, three chips and three sodas. When he inquired about this she mentioned one was for now, the other was for her dinner later and the third was for a coworker she owed lunch. Well he never took her out again, but he paid for all this junk (I would have yelled DUTCH) and she told everyone that he was a sucker! He thought other woman was hitting him on, but she had put it out that he was good for an easy lunch.

I think he was too ashamed to share this with folks, but since we were friends and my background he wanted to know how to handle this mess.

Dan

October 7th, 2009
9:42 am

I don’t really think it’s a bad thing.

Like Kym said, two adults making adult decisions (to do the “grown folk”).

And, Dave was a rich bachelor, why wouldn’t he have consensual sex with women in his employ? “We covet most what we see everyday.”

Kym

October 7th, 2009
9:46 am

For Real this has got to be the best one yet.. dude.

http://www.ajc.com/business/dekalb-man-wins-9m-156327.html

SexyCool - Um. Yeah. What you said.

October 7th, 2009
9:49 am

Three Words Daily – Love thy neighbor.

SexyCool - Um. Yeah. What you said.

October 7th, 2009
9:55 am

I work at the airport which is like a big college campus. Dating among those that work together (although they may not work for the same company) is pretty much a given.

I hired Shthead at my company after we began our relationship. I would not ever do it again. I had to hear work, work, work all the damn time. Shortly after I ended things, he managed to get himself fired which was a HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF for me. (It was also proof to me that God answered the prayer I prayed of removing him totally from my life.)

Now that I’ve had that experience, not only will I not date anybody that I work with, I will not date anyone that works at the same place.

Elijah ( Professor! What a woman????)

October 7th, 2009
9:56 am

A top of the morning!

Office romance I have been their a few times, Fortunately this did not cause any issues with work after the break-up! Although some of my male co-workers were jealous that I was dating some of the young good looking ladies in the office.

Like Kym stated I believe you need to be mature about relationships work is work and home is home!

Grace

October 7th, 2009
9:56 am

Good morning, I saw the story of Dave’s debachary and the humor he used to excuse it, I was in awe b/c his audience cheered him on which seemed to pumped him up even more. I saw nothing funny about having your affairs aired before millions and to top it off, making jokes about it. Two thumps down for Dave!

I’ve dated a co worker, I will never do that again, although it wasn’t a total nightmare, I walked on pins and needle until he left the company in fear of him spilling our dirty little secrets. Although everyone suspected something was going on, and yes some did pry, (people are so darn nosey) I didn’t utter a thing from my lips or gave any body gestures that would give anything away.

I’m a software engineer, so I’ve never had any really hot coworkers, anyway Swiss I can agree to that :lol: :lol: :lol:

BSandwich

October 7th, 2009
9:57 am

I agree with Kym. I have dated several co-workers, luckily with no drama. Work is work and home is home. If it didn’t work out, we moved on and remained friends. Perhaps its just my personality. You live and you learn

Poppa Grande

October 7th, 2009
9:57 am

Good morning…

This IMO is a no-no.

I think that it just isn’t practical. If things go bad, you have to be around that person. If things go well, you have the issue of no real diversification in money. My parent’s have neighbors who both worked at the Ford Plant in Hapeville. It closed and BOTH are without a job.

The other issue is that it can really get messy. I worked at one firm where a male co-worker met a female while on business trip. He got all Mark Sanford-like and said that the female was his “soulmate”. However, his wife who worked in Human Resources at the firm found out about it, and filed for divorce. Here is the messy part……Her attorney sent subpoenas to his whole department and to the workers that accompanied him on said business trip. I didn’t answer the subpoena, and was never called. However, it was a big hassle for me.

He ended up leaving the firm, and she still works there.

Ruth Houston

October 7th, 2009
9:59 am

David Letterman broke at least 2 of the rules of engagement for workplace romances by having sex with female members of his staff. Yet other rules Letterman strictly observed.

To find out which rules Letterman broke, and which rules he followed, see the article entitled David Letterman Broke 2 Cardinal Rules Governing Workplace Romance at http://bit.ly/yhTMo You’ll find the complete list of the Rules of Engagement for Office Affairs and Workplace Romance. If you’re involved in a workplace romance, and want to keep things on a professional level, follow the guidelines in this list. You can also find these rules on my Infidelity News and Views blog.

For more comments on David Letterman’s sexual escapades from an infidelity expert’s point of view, see the article entitled Why David Letterman Should Realize That Infidelity is No Joke at http://bit.ly/peK64

Elijah ( Professor! What a woman????)

October 7th, 2009
10:02 am

@Kym that is a funny article regarding the penis lawsuit!

Before I would attempt to date anyone in the office I would sit back and anaylze how this person interacts with the other co-workers. Time will reveal all you need to know if you want to date someone from the office!

@Sexycool…. How did that office romance get started? What attracted you to him?

SexyCool - Um. Yeah. What you said.

October 7th, 2009
10:05 am

Elijah – Like I said – “I hired Shthead at my company after we began our relationship.”

Cemeeli

October 7th, 2009
10:06 am

On topic; I do not poo-poo where i eat!

Professor You know what?…That’s just jacked up how this female did that. But hey…we are amongst the trife, err’y day.

How should he handle it? Stay away from them and out of that work drama? At best, he should choose to just leave it be…and maybe still call her, and the new females on it…let em’ know he see their silly triflin bs…

BSandwich

October 7th, 2009
10:08 am

Good point Elijah. Interaction or non-interaction with other co-workers is a great determining factor for dating someone in the office. You don’t want to date someone who is constantly divulging everything about your relationship to others in the workplace.

Gheeghee

October 7th, 2009
10:12 am

Yes, I have been romantically involved with a coworker. Although we rushed into the relationship (lots of chemistry), I cared very much for this person. It turned out to be a very painful experience and life-changing experience for me. Particularly since we continued to work on projects together. So all of these post-dating mixed messages he continued to send me (let’s go out…blah, blah blah), started to impact my ability to concentrate at work. As a result, I am very cautious about mixing business with one-on-one pleasure. I do and I will go out with groups of coworkers particularly if I am attracted to a coworker. I want to slowly interact with the coworker in a a “safe” group setting so that I can see how he acts outside of work, whether or not he is already involved in a relationship, whether or not he is interested in a long term relationship, etc.

As far as Dave L goes, I think it’s just plain sad all around. Sad for these young employee(s) (yes they were of age, but still inexperienced), for his wife, for their son, and even for Dave. Although this happened before he was married, it still happened while he was dating his now wife. How humiliating for her. Although I know adulterly happens, and that the media jumps on showing men of power who fall from their pedestals, the reason ratings are high for these stories is because it is wrong. People’s lives are destroyed by betrayal, broken promises. Do we really know whether or not people complained about sexual harrassment as Dave’s company, which is ironically named worldwide pants? He owned the company….so the buck stopped there.
I cannot imagine my father, brother in-laws, husbands of my friends EVER putting their own temporary pleasure ahead of what they are committed to: their wives, families, themselves.

Grace

October 7th, 2009
10:13 am

I can see how office romance can be inevitable esp when you’re spending so much time together, doing lunch, dinner and sometimes happy hour, you tend to develop a relationship like no other. I recall reading an article about work spouse. I have work spouses all around me.

Professor

October 7th, 2009
10:15 am

@Elijah I know you mentioned sitting back and watching the female to see how she interacts at work. Well some people have their PROfessionalism thingy going on and you don’t know that “shawty” will bust the windows out your car and for the ladies that man will tell all your secrets and stalk you. I have seen some of the best associates on the business side change when sex and love enters the picture. That is why I am so strongly against the whole dating thing at work.

Plus the person in the relationship with the LEAST interest carries the MOST power. Well that powerless person usually tries to get back at the person some kind of way. As HR I don’t like cleaning up the mess. Whew I just vented…sorry/

BriteEyez

October 7th, 2009
10:15 am

Have you ever dated a co-worker? Was it a good experience or a nightmare?

Good morning all.

Yes, I have dated a co-worker before. For me, it proved to be both a good experience and a nightmare. Of course the good at the time was the excitement of it all! The times that we would meet secretly in places around the building (I was in my 20’s at the time) for some afternoon delight! The possibility of getting caught always added fuel to the fire so it was great. There was also the nosey folks that suspected something but could never proof anything.

However, the nightmare came with the breakup. It is always hard to have to see someone everyday that you just want out of your life.

I can say without a doubt that the hard feelings that were the result of the relationship ending were much further reaching than the fun and excitement that was shared. I have never done it again and I can say that I never will!

BSandwich

October 7th, 2009
10:17 am

I currently work for a company, where there is only one person that I get along with and am slightly attracted to. We are friends, so you know there are snide remarks about since since we really only interact with each other. In the end, we don’t care what others have to say. Sometimes this can be a hinderance on any office relationship.

Melodramatizulu

October 7th, 2009
10:23 am

Have you ever dated a co-worker? Was it a good experience or a nightmare?

No, i have never dated But i banged a co-worker repeatedly.If she thoght we were dating..hmmm, i doubt it.

It was never a good experience.
Well,u mean the sexx??..ofcourse but the after taste is like a hangover!
But clearly,she asked for it coz she seduced me……

Grace

October 7th, 2009
10:24 am

BSandwich, people are going to suspect the obvious/something whether there’s some truth to it or not.

I luv the company ink-wells! :wink:

October 7th, 2009
10:25 am

The best part of my job!

THE INFAMOUS DK

October 7th, 2009
10:25 am

Enter Cliche’ Here

1. Never Get Ya Honey Where You Get Ya Money
2. Never Sh!t Where You Eat
3. Keep Business And Pleasure Separate
4. Business First Pleasure —-
5. ——————————-

Understand.

BSandwich

October 7th, 2009
10:26 am

Grace, you are right. I have been trying to find other opportunities, so we are not in constant contact all the time.

Grace

October 7th, 2009
10:27 am

Work place romance work for some and not so great for others. I have several co workers thru out the company who have dated and are now married. All props to them!

Professor

October 7th, 2009
10:27 am

On a positive note I worked with a young lady that dated someone at work. He worked at a different location…they later got married and she resigned from the company a few weeks before the wedding. Now those two handled everything very well

Grace

October 7th, 2009
10:30 am

BSandwich I hope everything works out for you. Have you expressed your feeling to him regarding the constant contact? That should be the first step, who knows he may feel the same way.

Compelling

October 7th, 2009
10:31 am

Morning All!

I’m actually still with my guy and we started dating at work. And guess what…we’re still working together now…two years later. It doesn’t bother us at all actually. We work together and live together, you think we’d get tired of each other but as it stands right now we get along quite well. I guess it’s because we know that it won’t always be like this. I plan to stop working soon when I enter law school and he plans to move to another company since he’s just completed his Master’s. I know that it may not work for some, but it’s not impossible either.

Cemeeli

October 7th, 2009
10:31 am

Sassy – Where is that gold H1 vaccine?

Funny how when something is only available to a few, is when everbody wants it.

Raqi

October 7th, 2009
10:34 am

Cemeeli, supply and demand.

Dream_n

October 7th, 2009
10:35 am

Morning all

While I personally have never dated a co-worker, I wouldn’t call it a bad thing. I know people who work and live together and keep their personal business private while at work.. I think it can work for two individuals that are mature enough to handle the situation..

Personally I don’t think I would like having the constant interaction with 1 person. Working with you,riding home with you, walking in the door with you, eating dinner together, sleeping together, then waking up and doing it all over again 5 days a week. I think I would get tired of seeing that person.. Plus I like to miss a person.. its something about being at work (with all the b.s) then coming home or meeting up with your S/O.. seeing their face and everything else becoming irrelevant… If I was with you all day and night, when do I have time to miss you?? JMO

BSandwich

October 7th, 2009
10:36 am

Oh I know she does. I’ve been in a few workplace romances at my other office, but I actually want to a.) see where it goes and b.) want this one to work

Cemeeli

October 7th, 2009
10:40 am

Those cases when folks met at work, dated, and go on to get married are rare, and totally different as it relates to Dave’s affair…he clearly should have stayed out of the “ink”…his actions not only embarrassed him, but his family (wife,kids), work even…That lil “dip” had it’s residual affects for sure…will wife forgive him?

Grace

October 7th, 2009
10:40 am

Cemeeli I’m not going to take it nor have my kids take the H1 vaccine. I’m more concerned about the side effects. I tell my kids to wash their hands and keep it away from their mouth and eyes. I know it can be challenging to wash your hands esp in school, but I think that if they take the other necessary precautions they’ll be fine.

Raqi

October 7th, 2009
10:42 am

The only thing IMO worst than dating someone you work with is having an affair outside of your relationship with someone you work with.

Disastrous to say the least.

Compelling

October 7th, 2009
10:43 am

I agree Cemeeli. He did disrespect his union with his wife and his child, he also abused his authority at the same time. I wonder if he’ll keep his job, what do you guys think?

Melodramatizulu

October 7th, 2009
10:45 am

his actions not only embarrassed him, but his family (wife,kids), work even

i doubt the wife is that embarrased,shes wife coz she worked with him too and did the mumbo jumbo with him there.
She deprived other girls of same.She wont say it in public but she happier,she the wife than them.

I luv Dave altho he a derty old man.I cld sleep with one.
Doing a rotation of ur subs like that???

I doubt i wld do it.

Grace

October 7th, 2009
10:46 am

WOW Raqi that would be disastrous!

Dan

October 7th, 2009
10:50 am

Remember folks

Dave just got married like a year ago. They had been dating for like, 20+ years before marriage.

Not only did she know about his affairs, she forgave him before the wedding.

As for the boss/employee relationship, if there were lawsuits that were to be filed, they’da [the women] filed ‘em already.

SexyCool - Um. Yeah. What you said.

October 7th, 2009
10:52 am

Dave has handled this thing brilliantly. The only leverage that the would be blackmailer had was taken away once Dave went public with his dastardly deeds himself.

Not only that, the blackmailer is still facing charges.

By doing what he did, Dave took back the power in the situation. Because in the end, I’m sure Dave could give a flying flip what any of us really think.

And if he does lose his show (which is highly unlikely), I’m sure he’s made enough money to last him the last 20 years of his life at this point.

BriteEyez

October 7th, 2009
10:52 am

Even though I would not venture into another work place relationship, I would agree with those that have said that the success or failure of this type of arrangement would weigh heavily on the maturity level of the indivuals involved.

Professor

October 7th, 2009
10:53 am

@Raqi I had an incident where a lady was slapped down at work because her husband “thought” she was having an affair. This was prior to 9/11 so he had easy access to the building and to her. I thought she was going to quit, but she came back the next day like nothing happened.

Compelling

October 7th, 2009
10:55 am

Oh wow @ Professor. He came into her workplace and assaulted her? That is so horrible, demeaning, and disrespectful.

Cemeeli

October 7th, 2009
10:57 am

Grace – There was 1 case of confirmed h1n1 at my kid’s school. It’s been 3 weeks ago, and the child has since returned to school….the school has always allowed them to used the breaks between classes for the kids to wash and sanitize hands…But when i went into the school Monday morning to do my weekly “show face” with my kids teachers… about every 7-8 steps i took i saw a new wall pump for hand sanitizer and a HUGE sign to remind everyone to wash their hands, boxes of tissue,… and I mean they have put signs & sanitizer in every crevice of that school…it’s funny i hadn’t told my son to wash his hands all day…i advised him to not let ppl get to close to his face/lunch/desk/wall cubby …and wash before he eats after bathroom…i don’t want him so consious to be washing his hands ALL day long that he’s more focused on catching something than work…

Momma told me that was good enough…dude move around to much to catch his breath as it is…