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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Fake it till you make it

I believe it is Sharon Stone, the actress, who is credited with the quote, “Women might be able to fake O’s, but men fake whole relationships.” Now, aside from the quote coming from someone in Hollywood aka Hollyweird, I think it raises an important question about relationships: When you aren’t totally sure about the person you are dating, is it good practice to fake it until you are certain?

By fake it, I mean, go through the motions, so to speak, of a relationship. It seems that there are these unspoken relationship milestones that couples sort of stumble their way to. Then if or when things come undone, you are left wondering what was the point of all those milestones. Just because we have a great time together and I love spending time with you, do I really need to meet your mother?

Sharon Stone’s quote indicts men who fake relationships but I believe what she is referring to is when a man simply doesn’t know and goes along until he gets clarification. Women can certainly pull a man into a relationship with her expectations, but does that mean he is faking a relationship with her?

I’m the type that likes to go extremely slow and I think the men that I date get frustrated by this. It seems that they feel as if they are such a good catch, I am crazy not to be dashing towards the Bridal magazines after a few dates. I admit that I have tried to fake it until I actually felt something, but I ended up regretting it and wasting the guy’s time. I’m not doing that again.

What do you think? Is it difficult to continue a dating relationship when you aren’t sure about the person? Are you supposed to know, without a doubt, after the first couple of weeks or months, if you want to be with someone?

How much time do you allot before you totally check out and call it a wrap? Do you worry that you don’t put in enough quality time with dating potential mates to decide whether you want to pursue a relationship?

What about those of you who are serial monogamists? Do you find that you get trapped in a fake, pseudo-relationship because you just prefer to have a steady person in your life?

312 comments Add your comment

Ms. Main

October 5th, 2009
4:57 pm

SexyCool My post was actually from reading the won’ts, can’ts, will nots, and shouldn’t haves…from everyone. But I will say, I don’t think it diminishes you as a person in you saying ——> However, I signed up with the belief that these relationships were heading towards marriage.

Love is 100% not 50/50. So, yeah, sometimes we do go all in, not knowing we’re riding solo. I’ve been there and I’m more than certain everybody has experienced it at least once. That was a jab chick.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

October 5th, 2009
4:58 pm

Correction Leggs “lack of” money and “lack of” sex rank high as reasons for divorce!!! LOL

Ms. Main

October 5th, 2009
5:01 pm

that “WASN’T” a jab…. I need to go home and start over tomorrow

Jamoca

October 5th, 2009
5:03 pm

…and I’mma say this

It kills me when folks acknowledge that there indeed is somebody for everybody…additionally recognizing that every man or woman may not be in sync with your way of getting it done, but the same folks will turn around and question you and your tactics if you don’t “do it like Will & Jada”. Heyal, first off…Will was obviously in the market to “buy” what Jada was “selling” and Jada in turn agreed to “follow” his lead. That’s them.

But how do folks turn around and have the nerve to question why “Fred Sandford” would rather wait for Elizabeth instead of getting his very own “Jada”. Heyal, he’s obviously content with how Elizabeth rolls…even if that chick only cooks & cleans Monday – Wednesday and only “smucks” Fred’s brains out Thurs & Friday.

He’s cool. She’s cool. They’re cool. But folks steady questioning….

sigh… Good night.

Leggs

October 5th, 2009
5:05 pm

@RandyT, I started to post “lack thereof” but thought it was obvious. I don’t know of anyone who asked for a divorce because there was too much sex and too much money!

AmazonRed™ - logic over emotion

October 5th, 2009
5:05 pm

Oh and Jamoca, Jada once stated in an interview that she’s never done the cooking. And remember she wasn’t always rich and famous either.

That one just tickles me when a guy states a woman “must” cook and then mention Will and Jada as some type of prototype. LOL

Dream_n

October 5th, 2009
5:06 pm

@ Ms. Main

I need to take your advice from last week and miss a day or two to catch up on some work..lol

@ Randt: lol funny!

i say regardless of everyone’s opinion.. whether we agree, disagree, or agree to disagree. Whatever works for you and your S/O…. Some people are traditional and some are not…as long as the house is clean.. food is kept on the table… kids are clean..everything is all good no matter who has to take on the respobsibility :)

AmazonRed™ - logic over emotion

October 5th, 2009
5:06 pm

Dream_n

October 5th, 2009
5:07 pm

Jamoca

Took the words right out of my mouth!!! :)

Ms. Main

October 5th, 2009
5:08 pm

dream_n I second your 5:06…I think quite a few folks can back away from the keyboard for a couple of days…lol

Leggs

October 5th, 2009
5:08 pm

Hey, I’m finished working…where’s everyone going. I want to play! Aww shucks, I’m left on the playground all by myself.

Gheeghee

October 5th, 2009
5:12 pm

I have never, ever been able to nor could i EVER fake chemistry. Which to me, is THE most important criteria. Everybody has their own personality quirks, which are revealed over time, and I can accept those. The second thing is that I cannot fake knowing whether or not we both want the same thing…other than spending more time together, Over time, I can see whether or not we want to work on the relationship and bring each other deerp into each other’s lives by being emotionally vulnerable. But sometimes you don’t need to say anything. When the relationship has “jumped the shark” and neither of us want to “hurt” the other, we just naturally spend less time sharing and time together. I have found that although we can start out wanting the same thing, over time, one of us may change his/her mind. I only want to be with people who want to spend time with me. I completely agree that “Life is too short”…