The Chase Has Changed
It’s no secret that women enjoy being pursued. When it’s a guy we really like all the gestures, time, and effort he puts into spending time with us builds chemistry. It’s something we don’t like going without once we’ve had it.
Are guys still interested in chasing women, though? I think they are, to a degree. I think the way they pursue women has changed. The chase style of men varies of course but what keeps a man engaged in the chase?
Guys there are totally new ways you pursue women but we don’t always know when it’s happening. What is your pursuit style? Does your pursuit style depend on whether you are pursuing a serious relationship or something casual? How would a woman know the difference?
Ladies, do you think the chase has changed? If so, how? In your experiences, what do you love most about being pursued?
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353 comments Add your comment
Raqi
September 29th, 2009
3:47 pm
how can ya not know?
Randy speaking from experience, you choose not to know. When I look back now on my relationship with the married one it was right there in my face. I chose not to see it.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
September 29th, 2009
3:47 pm
LOL @ Demi … wish I had a bit of Demi in me then…make life MUCH easier.
Angie
September 29th, 2009
3:48 pm
*seen a commercial last night . . . *
father: son, you have your shoes on the wrong feet.
son: but dad, these are the only feet i have!
Grace
September 29th, 2009
3:49 pm
Birthday/dinner? You will surely need energy for tonight’s festivities!
DJ Demi
September 29th, 2009
3:49 pm
Jamoca…what you wanna dance to?
Angie
September 29th, 2009
3:49 pm
have a pleasant rest of your day bloggers!
Jamoca
September 29th, 2009
3:49 pm
…and not to forget those who rarely discuss their “current” but moreso the “past” relationship, so the jury would still be out on that.
On another note, some folks tend to get the notion that the buffet of men and women alike will cease from approaching, tempting and/or prancing/strolling themselves around you once you’ve come across the one you’ll consider as “the keeper”. But unfortunately, they do not. So IMO, it is best to refrain from anything serious until you develop and are comfortable sticking to the mindset needed to prosper in an exclusive relationship. You may think you have trouble deciding which one to choose, but you’ll have even bigger problems if you’re “the one” not fully committed to being kept.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
September 29th, 2009
3:50 pm
“it was right there in my face. I chose not to see it.”
I suspect there is a lot of wisdom in that statement AND is probably true most of the time. I also suspect that there is big sense of guilt about perhaps letting oneself be used.
All of us have probably sold ourselves out a few times…not good and leaves scars often.
Demigod33
September 29th, 2009
3:53 pm
I was being a jacka$$….RandyT, do you really want to date any one in that small town…they’re going to know who you’ve slept with…within 5-6mins. LOL.
Cemeeli
September 29th, 2009
3:55 pm
Kym Are you lurk’n? I finally heard songs from that Mitch Musso while watching video…i guess it’ll be nice Live at least…
Melodramatizulu
September 29th, 2009
3:57 pm
I also suspect that there is big sense of guilt about perhaps letting oneself be used
and i hear the gnawing of teeth and skirmishing and farting of fat butts in the swiveling chairs as soon as u closed ur mouf after that statemnt!
why do females feel guitly that we use them and neva the other way round.
I bet there are cougars using u Randyt??
Leggs
September 29th, 2009
3:57 pm
But I am still thirsty…
One of the best lines in the song!
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
September 29th, 2009
3:58 pm
Demi … there are a “ton” of women here, and that’s just the first three. Dayum small town women seem to “grow”. Nah, not me, I was from a small town and know how fast the word spreads…plus sometimes they follow you home, LOL.
Demigod33
September 29th, 2009
3:59 pm
Or…just for the heck of it…create a very messy situation during the last two months you’re there…and flee like the Devil himself!!!!
run forest run forest run
Jamoca
September 29th, 2009
4:00 pm
Single and fearful ….translation:
They’re fearful of all the things that can potentially go wrong in a relationship…hanging onto the negative or what so and so said or posted…what there friends relatives experiences were like, etc…pointing out any and everything that will successfully convince them of a meaningful relationship not being for them, instead of really being honest with themselves and admitting that it’s them. Their own mindsets…being set in there ways…(ie lazy) not wanting to work for/towards anything that in the end, they themselves will be accountable for…whether it makes them or breks them. IMO they’re more fearful of the liability, while putting less focus on the asset.
They scared…but wonderin’ why they’re still single.
Professor...shine the spotlight on me
September 29th, 2009
4:00 pm
Stepping in…
I hope that all is well with the blog folks. So what have I missed? Are we still on topic, and if so what is the topic?
Grace
September 29th, 2009
4:01 pm
Jamco I’ll take Single, not looking but “open” for $200 please
Giv'me a S. Giv'me a E. Giv'me a X. Giv'me a Y. Cooool!!
September 29th, 2009
4:01 pm
I would guess it leans more towards at being ashamed of being used (because we’re supposed to be smarter than that) as opposed to feeling guilty.
Demigod33
September 29th, 2009
4:02 pm
Randyt…just get a cut buddy…winter is coming…try for a relationship…spring of ‘10!!
I am OUT!!!
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
September 29th, 2009
4:02 pm
@ Melo “I bet there are cougars using u Randyt??” Not lately but right after my divorce, yup. Felt like a “boy toy” (and frankly enjoyed it) but did get hurt…really liked one. I have learned how to guard my heart since then.
Melodramatizulu
September 29th, 2009
4:02 pm
what you can teach her,what she can teach you
u getting mature by each blogging day Dream_N!
amenable to being taught??
The blog has a corrupting influence…u be snagged real soon coz u game to the lessons.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
September 29th, 2009
4:04 pm
@Giv’me …well said. I used the wrong word.
Melodramatizulu
September 29th, 2009
4:05 pm
hope that all is well with the blog folks.
u really mean that??
Leggs
September 29th, 2009
4:06 pm
Piss poor advice Demi. RandyT, you’re smart don’t listen. What, why you taking notes! Fuggidabtit!
AmazonRed™
September 29th, 2009
4:06 pm
Okay…I’m off to catch up now. This better be good.
mytw♥cents... My L♥ve
September 29th, 2009
4:07 pm
FAKE SassyMe Tsk, tsk, tsk… do better! Just be who you are. Regularly.
Professor...shine the spotlight on me
September 29th, 2009
4:07 pm
Well of course I mean that from the bottom of my itsy bitsy heart! Whether someone is a friend or a foe I always send him or her my warmest regards.
And, how is life treating Melo?
Melodramatizulu
September 29th, 2009
4:09 pm
good good…
im sure we all missing u in here!
Jamoca
September 29th, 2009
4:11 pm
correction: “whether it makes them or breaks them”
@ Jam re your list. I agree with you, it is not hard to see, and yet so many times, even on this blog, I have heard stories of someone seeing some guy for months, maybe years, and not knowing the dude was married. I wonder how this could play out…how can ya not know?
RandyT – Now why did you parlay that into that there ^^^??? LOL That very last question is something I’ve wondered a few times myself. Even in my own eff-ups. Some folks just don’t wanna know. That way, by them using that as a scapegoat, they’re more likely to revert back to the “I had no idea he/she…” We beat this particular topic to death on here. While some folks pride themselves on knowing all the tricks, schemes and whatnot…but wanna cry victim when they find themselves coming up empty handed. Naw…I honestly have no sympathy for it. Although it’s a hard pill to swallow…but if you wanna be “big gurl” and play the game, without questioning the rules and/or foulplay of the game, them gon’ head and be a “big gurl” and swallow dem pills. I just wish folks would just stop whinin’.
Jamoca
September 29th, 2009
4:12 pm
Correction: Then gon’ head…
mytw♥cents... My L♥ve
September 29th, 2009
4:12 pm
I wasn’t finished typing.
FAKE SassyMe Tsk, tsk, tsk… do better! Just be who you are. Regularly.
And I now dedicate a few bars of Friend or Foe to those who can’t decide which one they be…
FRED G SANFORD, JR. Earlier you made a comment about the only prize being the azz. That says something about those that you allow into your selection pool. So you might wish to refine your selection process, sir.
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
September 29th, 2009
4:14 pm
but if you wanna be “big gurl” and play the game, without questioning the rules and/or foulplay of the game, them gon’ head and be a “big gurl” and swallow dem pills. I just wish folks would just stop whinin’
Jamoca – Amen. This needs to be repeated to some on a daily, and to the men too, replacing “gurl” with “boi”!
Professor...shine the spotlight on me
September 29th, 2009
4:14 pm
LOL! im sure we all missing u in here!
Now Melo, are you willing to put your check on that…you know good and well…hmmm I will not start…
Professor...shine the spotlight on me
September 29th, 2009
4:16 pm
Greetings mytwo,
Are you trying to throw something this way?
***And I now dedicate a few bars of Friend or Foe to those who can’t decide which one they be…****
Melodramatizulu
September 29th, 2009
4:16 pm
gon’ head and be a “big gurl” and swallow dem pills.
Jamoca?? u had me confused for a moment..wth that head.then swallow..but i get it now!
thoght u were referring to u doing the do but it didnt seem like that wld be u.
mytw♥cents... My L♥ve
September 29th, 2009
4:18 pm
SASSAFRASS I’ll get at you if anything involving cocktails comes up.
Cemeeli
September 29th, 2009
4:19 pm
@ Moca & Kimmie – Ya’ll gone be “big girls” and cooked that stuff i got on stand-by…?
while ya’ll talkin’ i got some’n for you to do. you know since we “big girls” and all…
Wise Diva
September 29th, 2009
4:19 pm
It’s been one of those days, wooosah, Calgon take me awaaay! I appreciate everyone for keeping the discussion going! IT started really strong this morning, love it
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
September 29th, 2009
4:19 pm
@ Kimmie re: “Jamoca – Amen. This needs to be repeated to some on a daily, and to the men too, replacing “gurl” with “boi”!
No kidding. Don’t look at me for sympathy. My uncle told me many years ago one of the smartest bits of wisdom…”if you are looking for sympathy, you can always find it in Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary between ’shyte’ and syphillus”. He was right.
AmazonRed™
September 29th, 2009
4:20 pm
*still reading* all while *smh* and *
*
Melodramatizulu
September 29th, 2009
4:20 pm
if you wanna be “big gurl” and play the game, without questioning the rules and/or foulplay of the game, them gon’ head and be a “big gurl” and swallow dem pills
uall Kimmie and JAMOCA are going undercover with this ish.
just post that on http://www.dontdatehimgirl.com. .im sure thatll stop the whining on der!
Giv'me a S. Giv'me a E. Giv'me a X. Giv'me a Y. Cooool!!
September 29th, 2009
4:20 pm
RANTING – With all the debate going on about people not having healthcare, I just had an employee opt out of insurance when his co-pay was only $8.12 a week.
Help them, lawd geezus….
RANT OVER…You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
Wise Diva
September 29th, 2009
4:21 pm
Chris Brown is a blogger now, have you heard? He has a new track “Transform You” on there
http://mechanicaldummy.com/en/exclusiives/152-i-can-transform-ya-feat-zil-wayne-a-swizz-beatz.html
I kind of feel like I should wait till he finishes community service before I support his new stuff though geez
Cemeeli
September 29th, 2009
4:22 pm
…the shoppers at wal-mart pictures are hilarious…
thx
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
September 29th, 2009
4:22 pm
@ Gic’me re: stopping his/her healthcare…they have a saying in the Health and Safety business, “you can’t stop stupid”.
Giv'me a S. Giv'me a E. Giv'me a X. Giv'me a Y. Cooool!!
September 29th, 2009
4:23 pm
I’m sorry – not his co-pay…his employee portion of the premium was only $8.12 a week.
Leggs
September 29th, 2009
4:24 pm
@WD, that’s what Tom Joiner is going to do (LOL).
Leggs
September 29th, 2009
4:24 pm
@Cee, those are the residents of “The Other Side of America,” most like the folk on Jerry Springer!
AmazonRed™
September 29th, 2009
4:25 pm
What kind of site is “redtube.com?”
Professor...shine the spotlight on me
September 29th, 2009
4:25 pm
@WD, I am on the fence with Chris Brown, but more than likely I will support him in the future. However I never returned to being an R. Kelly fan after everything went down