The Chase Has Changed
It’s no secret that women enjoy being pursued. When it’s a guy we really like all the gestures, time, and effort he puts into spending time with us builds chemistry. It’s something we don’t like going without once we’ve had it.
Are guys still interested in chasing women, though? I think they are, to a degree. I think the way they pursue women has changed. The chase style of men varies of course but what keeps a man engaged in the chase?
Guys there are totally new ways you pursue women but we don’t always know when it’s happening. What is your pursuit style? Does your pursuit style depend on whether you are pursuing a serious relationship or something casual? How would a woman know the difference?
Ladies, do you think the chase has changed? If so, how? In your experiences, what do you love most about being pursued?
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353 comments Add your comment
Angie
September 29th, 2009
1:23 pm
you mean to the lil gurl you like . . . (i meant)
Willie Dynamite
September 29th, 2009
1:24 pm
Afternoon All,
Sexy stated “Just because I let you hit doesn’t mean you “GOT” me or that the chase is over. It means either I was feeling you like that or testing the waters, either way, it is not GAME OVER.”
That is it in a nutshell to me. Its about the Journey not the destination. I mean if it was all about chasing puddy then it would be a short race most of the time. I used to tell chicks all the time after I get the puddy then what. What more do you have to keep my attention? I mean how many chicks spend all their energy trying to keep a dude outta their pants and vice versa how many dudes spend all their time trying to get in your pants (run-on for ya azz)? The chase, cat/mouse is the dynamic that lets you know more and all about your suitor and there intentions moving forward..
aggwitty
September 29th, 2009
1:25 pm
LOL @ bougie freaknic.
Angie
September 29th, 2009
1:26 pm
@melo
take your mean azz back to friday and find out yo dayum self!!! you are sad.
Giv'me a S. Giv'me a E. Giv'me a X. Giv'me a Y. Cooool!!
September 29th, 2009
1:26 pm
Thank you for feeling me, Mr. Dynamite.
Melodramatizulu
September 29th, 2009
1:26 pm
all along you desire her heart.
ill admit, i do like ur phat juicy azz angie…
U got money u can lend me in return for smashing urs truly?? 
But im sorry if i thoght u were the person who gave us the info first.
I know ur azz is in, on the underground loop tho!
DJ Demi
September 29th, 2009
1:27 pm
Anytime you try to make someone prove anything you risk playing a game that nobody wins.
Here, have a dollar,
in fact no brotherman here, have two
Two dollars means a snack for me,
but it means a big deal to you
Be strong, serve God only,
know that if you do, beautiful heaven awaits
That’s the poem I wrote for the first time
I saw a man with no clothes, no money, no plate
Mr.Wendal, that’s his name,
no one ever knew his name cause he’s a no-one
Never thought twice about spending on a ol’ bum,
until I had the chance to really get to know one
Now that I know him, to give him money isn’t charity
He gives me some knowledge, I buy him some shoes
And to think blacks spend all that money on big colleges,
still most of y’all come out confused
THE INFAMOUS DK
September 29th, 2009
1:27 pm
See the whole thing is Men havent changed since the family dynamic was determined.. Women have become more feminist in their movement thus destroying alot of the old world ways.. Some needed to go but most didnt, now we have this conundrum of what women want.. The old school or the new school.. Its obvious you cant have it both ways..
Tazzee - back in stride again
September 29th, 2009
1:28 pm
Melo – thanks. I think I’m good though – not going there from work and I doubt I’ll think about it when I get home.
Angie
September 29th, 2009
1:28 pm
@melo
and i don’t appreciate you callin’ me a triflin’ h.oe! i expect an apology by end of day.
Leggs
September 29th, 2009
1:31 pm
OMG, ARed is going to read from another day. The ground and walls are shaking. Now, you understand why some people do it. All depends on the subject. Too funny!
THE INFAMOUS DK
September 29th, 2009
1:33 pm
So the truth finally begins to unfold
Demigod33
September 29th, 2009
1:33 pm
MELO
I know you are a shelf made drama king….but dang mayne…can we get a break?
Melodramatizulu
September 29th, 2009
1:35 pm
Im sorry Angie!!
Dream_n
September 29th, 2009
1:35 pm
Melo… sometimes I think azz/sex is plastered on the front of ur face.. unless this is just your e-personality.
While I respect everyone’s post and opinions I am conflicted on urs. Contrary to popular belief there are men out there who are genuinely looking for a woman to share their life with and the woman is the prize while sex is just a part of the prize. Not every “man” courts a woman to get in their pants… and if that’s the case, I don’t think the term courting can be used….
Grace
September 29th, 2009
1:38 pm
AMEN! Dream @1:35
Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)
September 29th, 2009
1:39 pm
Look at Demi playing peace maker……kudos to U
W8
September 29th, 2009
1:39 pm
Good Afternoon ladies,
Whats going on here. I love the chase it makes it that much more interesting…I am a man and I don’t have a problem doing it.
Melodramatizulu
September 29th, 2009
1:40 pm
can we get a break?
i doubt we ever get a break untill we know what went down.
Im jus curiuous too,its human nature.Esp when i know we missing some of our regular folk here…
So qstion is who is missing coz they are dead/drowned in the floods and who is alive but hiding and embarrased.
As a dude, i got mad props for dude’s pimp game tho,no hating.
Ms.Main just getting in
September 29th, 2009
1:40 pm
Melodramatizulu but i fail to understand why uall females seem to want to pour cold water over the fact that azz is part of the whole equation. Without azz,there is no chasing coz there is no prize at the end.
You didn’t read me well I see….see my paste below of one of my posts.
Frankly, I don’t feel like running unless at some point I INTEND on getting caught but I want you to know there’s more to me than azz.
Heck I know it gonna happen as it’s part of love and relations but don’t be looking at me sideways because I didn’t break you off upon my meet and greet and don’t be looking me at sideways because I require you to show just a hint of man-ism. I want a balance and a balance does not equate to getting fed….and that’s all. Heck don’t be looking at me sideways cause I didn’t break you off like Bonifa did…2 hours after speaking to her. My point is, if you want something, just because the masses are handing it to you on a platter, think it not strange because you gotta put a little in (i.e. the chase) to get a little some reciprocated.
Willie Dynamite
September 29th, 2009
1:41 pm
Ladies – What are some of the things YOU did to chase/court a man?
Sassy Me...juicy fruit...there can be only one :-)
September 29th, 2009
1:41 pm
Dream that 1:35 was deep.
W8
September 29th, 2009
1:42 pm
Good Afternoon Ladies,
This is such beautiful weather. I am so glad I have the day off.
Melodramatizulu
September 29th, 2009
1:46 pm
Dream_n
i think we mean the same thing,we,men and women,express those desires differently.
Men,we graphical,we kinda lay it down exactly how its gon down and how we enjoy ur company..coz of a,b,c,d, azz included.
U ladies, u jus want to camoflouge it and say,”I enjoy his sexxiness and hiz company”,altho u tell ur girls exactly the same way we do,in pvt.
U ladies,u look at us from head going dwnwards altho u do dwell on the package up front.
Us guys,we look at ur rack and junk and we imagine whats ‘twen those long leggs.
we all the same Dream_n!
Ms.Main just getting in
September 29th, 2009
1:48 pm
Willie, honestly and I’m not being funny…I’ve never chased. I’ve show appreciation but pursuit…never. I know it seems hard to fathom but that’s just not some folks style. FOR ME…if a dude can’t do what I KNOW he’s got in him to do, I’m shutting the door on that one.
Leggs
September 29th, 2009
1:49 pm
@WillieD ~ I stayed myself. You either liked it or you didn’t!
Ms.Main just getting in
September 29th, 2009
1:50 pm
Oh and letting your interests be known…maybe ahead of him ain’t what I’d consider chase. You can do that with some finesse all while inviting him to pursue.
Ms.Main just getting in
September 29th, 2009
1:51 pm
I meant…”maybe ahead of his” not “him”
Leggs
September 29th, 2009
1:52 pm
Let me back it up. I meant to say I never ran after a man! I stayed myself and let you show interest in me. Then, we attempted to get to know each other. Thanks Ms. Main. I spoke too fast (LOL).
Raqi
September 29th, 2009
1:56 pm
Ms.Main I am actually surprised, which I shouldn’t be, that those two guys are actually saying that they want the woman that they may have a meaningful relationship with to have sexed every guy that paid her some attention before him. Just to see if he will find something to like about her later. Do they not realize what they are asking for? They want the privilege to taste test every woman they find interesting before even getting to know her yet failing to realize if she gave that privilege to every man she met or liked…..
Is that a woman they want to make their own?
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
September 29th, 2009
1:59 pm
Melo & Co. can do all that talk all they want about getting intimate early, but I’ve never heard him say that’s what Queen did.
Bottom line, there is a certain way that all men behave toward women they respect and want to get to know and eventually make wifey. They court and pursue. Women know it too – they know when a guy is pursuing them for the short haul & for the long haul. For those of you that don’t want to “define” roles and “go with the flow”, we all know how things turn out when folks don’t “play their position” and “stay in their lane”. We can run this circle all day, but everybody here is grown and know what time it is.
Cemeeli
September 29th, 2009
2:01 pm
Finesse – I love this word!!!
Grace
September 29th, 2009
2:02 pm
Kimmie you got a point there….I agree I know when it’s for the long haul and when it’s short lived just by converstion.
Dream_n
September 29th, 2009
2:03 pm
@ kimmie: thumbs up to your 1:59
Ms.Main just getting in
September 29th, 2009
2:04 pm
Raqi They want the privilege to taste test every woman they find interesting before even getting to know her yet failing to realize if she gave that privilege to every man she met or liked….. Is that a woman they want to make their own?
They’re just talking…I think. Any man in his right mind don’t want a chic that’s been repeatedly and carelessly sexed. I think Kimmie just frankly said it. Say what they want but I’m cosiging….if you’re REALLY to a man’s liking, he’ll pursue…he can’t help it. For all those (men) on here saying if they have to move a finger to get with her or put any efforts into it….THEY AIN’T MET THE RIGHT ONE. The right one? Yeah, it ain’t happened yet.
Dream_n
September 29th, 2009
2:04 pm
they know when a guy is pursuing them for the short haul & for the long haul.
sorry.. i had to post this again!! i luv it
Cemeeli
September 29th, 2009
2:05 pm
kimmie I am like a kid that just had her favorite candy…i jus had that massage girl…the young lady i had was grrrreat!
Demigod33
September 29th, 2009
2:07 pm
Melo…trust I want the dirt too!! As the good book says:
Mark 4:22…For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open.
With that being said…There is no need to run around the blog…lika pervert hermit…wearing your ancient Zulu’s War King getup/w matching tribal war paint…So put your spear’n'cowhide shield down please!!!
Chill Shaka Zulu!!!
Ms.Main just getting in
September 29th, 2009
2:07 pm
Cemeeli Finesse….ahhh…me too
Raqi
September 29th, 2009
2:09 pm
Ms.Main I wouldn’t even say they haven’t met the right one but in fact are just lazy. They want something for nothing. They don’t want to do what it is a man is supposed to do get what he wants and needs but they want the benefits that come with it.
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
September 29th, 2009
2:10 pm
Taking my bow now! LOL!!
Dream_n
September 29th, 2009
2:11 pm
@ Ms.Main
Totally agree.. I since some B.S. today..
For those that are married (guys)… You didn’t get your wife by not jumping through hoops and going that extra mile to make her feel special…
For those that are single (but looking) maybe you need to change your tactic.. cause single speaks for its self
Grace
September 29th, 2009
2:15 pm
For those that are single (but looking) maybe you need to change your tactic.. cause single speaks for its self
Ms.Main just getting in
September 29th, 2009
2:15 pm
Raqi I wouldn’t even say they haven’t met the right one but in fact are just lazy. They want something for nothing. They don’t want to do what it is a man is supposed to do get what he wants and needs but they want the benefits that come with it.
Yeah, because if you’re lazy heck everything can pass you by and it won’t seem worth the effort.
Ms.Main just getting in
September 29th, 2009
2:16 pm
Dream_n I can sense it too
Dream_n
September 29th, 2009
2:16 pm
Why the mean face Grace??? lol
Jamoca
September 29th, 2009
2:17 pm
Afternoon you all,
ON TOPIC
For me, being pursued is best when I’m in the mood to be. Meaning, if I’m not truly in the mood to be bothered or my own intuition is giving me some serious reservations about a particular “prospect”…I refuse to allow myself to go and/or be taken any further. So other than that….I see no problem exploring the unknown. However, IMO there lies a fine line when a man pursues a woman versus trying to dayum hard. Look, I’m all for puttin’ in work as well as some real effort being contributed on his end for something/someone worth obtaining (which was well written, Ms. Main
). But I’ve never been comfortable with a man who feels the need to do magic tricks, just to keep me interested (read: entertained). While certain gestures may be cute and a few others may be indeed thoughtful, but if brutha man feels the need to literally break his back, in an attempt to keep my attention, then quite frankly I wasn’t all that into him from the beginning…and vice versa. I’m all for going after what/who you want, but don’t “lose yourself” in the process. Just keep it genuine…in whatever you do…even if that means going out of your way…if it’s truly “in you”. Because as soon as you stop (and you will, especially if it wasn’t “genuine), it’s likely that s/he won’t be around for too much longer, hence all that misrepresentation <— now that's WORSER MyTwo and you know I detest that "word" 
and given the most recent chronicles, it's definitely not gender specific eitha. Smdh.
If I ask you to go out a couple times you know I am interested, so there is no reason to play games and play hard to get or be difficult just to make a dude jump through hoops to “prove” how much he likes you. Anytime you try to make someone prove anything you risk playing a game that nobody wins.
EPO – I believe this ^^^ is also what I was eluding to. You made a very good point in that 1:03.
Grace
September 29th, 2009
2:18 pm
Dream – sometimes you’re single b/c it’s just not your season yet. I don’t think it has anything to do with your tactics.
Demigod33
September 29th, 2009
2:19 pm
For those that are single (but looking) maybe you need to change your tactic..cause single speaks for its self…
Meaning very selfish?
At some point during the dating process…most men do find a good thing…but if dude’s heart ain’t right…what good will come out of it?
Dream_n
September 29th, 2009
2:21 pm
lol chica… I was talking about the men for the entire post…
The guys that are saying that they aren’t jumping through hoops for no woman or “chasing” them… I was saying if they’re looking maybe thy need to change that aspect about them