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Training Camp

We talked about how character traits of single parents could translate into the traits of a husband and wife on Monday. I started to think about how women are taught as children to be the nurturer. You know we get the dolls, the domestic type toys to play with and mimic our mothers.  As women get older, our “natural instinct” as women is cultivated by society.

By the time we reach adulthood, we’ve basically had a lifetime of “training camp” for motherhood.  I have talked to a lot of married women who say that they may not have felt prepared for marriage and family in the beginning, but it wasn’t long before they adapted. Is it because we spend our lives being groomed for the job, even when we don’t even know it?

What kind of training camp do men have for being a good mate? If a young boy is given a totally different set of toys and mimics what he sees, what has prepared him to be a father and husband? If you think about it, the traits of a “good husband” aren’t exactly heralded as positive ones for single men to have. I would even argue that men are groomed to be the exact opposite. Does that partly explain why men are aversive to marriage?

Guys, if men are taught to be hunters and providers, what or whom is teaching you about the other important traits that are needed for a relationship? Does it really come up? Do you think a lot of men “fake it till they make it” or do they work on it?

Ladies, do you think that you’ve been to a virtual “training camp” to be a good wife? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? What happens if you are missing that whole training camp background? Do you think it makes a difference on your views about love and marriage? If a guy makes a horrible boyfriend, would that make you think twice about viewing him as a viable husband candidate?

464 comments Add your comment

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
8:48 am

early sunny moring to ya!

…a men unfavorable to marriage, is like a woman being gold digger.

No matter how you were raised, individual character traits change as we learn and grow…we say it all the time “i’m a different person i was in my 20, 30…ect.”

by design we all change with each good or bad relationship.

mytw♥cents... Still Standing

September 23rd, 2009
8:56 am

Hi everybody. There was one of me on the ark! Hope all is well with your persons and properties and you are sufficiently reminded that tomorrow is not promised.

It’ll be interesting to see how many even notice the divide in toys. My girlfriend and I were speaking recently (well actually she was going off) about the fact that lots of little boy stuff is more intellectually based while little girl stuff is still frivolous or domestication based. Even the action figures and weaponry make them use brain power to operate and they can do so independently while it’s a no brainer to put the baby in the stroller or they at least need a pretend group for a tea party… But theses are things we can overanalyze if we half way try. So at the end of the day, parents probably should rely more on themselves to give the children the foundation needed so as to trump any subliminals they get from items purchased at Target & Toys R Us.

mytw♥cents... Still Standing

September 23rd, 2009
9:00 am

CEMEELI That sounds like sumthin Simon Confucius might say…

Blow Me

September 23rd, 2009
9:01 am

Good Morning..Still in awe of the goodie mob concert. Did anyone get to attend this weekend? It was great!

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
9:17 am

mytwosense I’m not sure what Confucius might say, but Fiji mos’ def would be passin out the “take home” literature about it….

btw – my tea parties had REAL Lipton extra sweet tea in momma’s old white and flowr teacups, with some cheap Murray’s coconut cookies… while i slapped my GI joe figure AND kicked his London logs into the middle of next week, for him eating & drinking tea before my black Cabbage Patch doll! now “intellect toys” me on that!

mytw♥cents... Still Standing

September 23rd, 2009
9:34 am

Lawdammercy! You can try to train up a CEE in the way she should go, but those passive – aggressive tendencies will last well into adulthood. I think that’s how the Proverbs or whatnot is written. ;)

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
9:36 am

Yes most little girls were on directed the road to wifey while growing up.

I know I was brought up in the “training camp” of The Good Wife for sure. I remember hearing so many times “if you are going to get married one day blah, blah, blah” and/or “if you plan to be a good wife and mother yada, yada, yada” so it was instilled in me early that I would probably someday be the wife of some unlucky man. LOL

But along that same line my dad taught us you have to pay your bills. Be responsible. Don’t wait for anyone to do for you, do for yourself. So while I was being trained to be a wife I was also being trained to be self-sufficient. But it was mostly wifey duties that I got hammered with.

From what I witnessed my mom seemed to be a good wife so I had a chance to see how it pretty much would, should, could work up close.

Compelling

September 23rd, 2009
9:37 am

I’d be interested to hear the men’s perspective on this. I can say that I believe in both nature and nurture. Some characteristics are almost ingrained in us, it’s the way we were designed. I also believe in nurture in that those who raised you shape you in some way.

I learned how to be a good mother and wife by watching my mother. She never sat me down and talked about her duties per se, but she taught me through action. Helping her make big dinner, setting the table, cleaning our home, watching her interact with my father. I’d have to say that I also learned what a husband should be by watching my dad interact with us and with my mother. I would have to say that they both took on the “traditional” roles, but that wasn’t a bad thing I learned a lot.

MR. Unknown

September 23rd, 2009
9:44 am

Eddie Royal had a great training camp, now buddy is selling me out in FF.. Need to trade out…
Most women had great training camps, but some how lost their skills… So most guys like myself look to trade out.. They look good on paper, but don’t produce in the field.. Some women (I said some)choose to use beauty in place of said skills, or conveniently decide to ignore them,, if you don’t know who they are quick example(I don’t know how to cook but I know how to order). Then you run into the sleeper chick, the one that you probaly wouldn’t have looked at twice.. The Sleeper Chick has a nice balance about herself, she’s usally not on the waiver very long.. Morning guys.

2CPTG - "I f you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
9:50 am

Interesting question….cause unless a dude is raised in and around a healthy relationship, whether directly, or indirectly, he ain’t getting no ‘learnin…shootin’ straight from the hip; hopefully by late 20’s, early 30’s he’s had enough battle scars to finally be able to lead a clan…..

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
9:51 am

I do agree about how a lot of boys are raised. They are given toys that point toward fighting and protecting. Fancy cars and trucks. And that’s how they grow up. They are not taught how to love and nurture. They are not put in positions to know that they may one day have their own family. In them being taught to protect it is not implied that the protection will be for your family. It is mostly self protection. Or for the team. But the team is made up other boys. Hence the potnahs.
That protection and fight mentally is a very good trait to carry into a marriage. However, the marriage and the wife is not the enemy. The outside world is.

Boys were also given toys to build. Legos, model cars and planes, chemistry sets, etc…..

Which is also a good trait to have however they were never told how those should and can be adapted into a relationship or marriage.

I think the divide is not only in how we were raised but also in nature itself. You usually find that girls show and interest in boys years before boys reciprocate that interest.

When I would play house I knew that there was supposed to be a husband from seeing my parents so I would try to get my brother to play with me. He was not interested at all. He would rather be outside conquering the world from that tree in our backyard. He would rather be getting into some mischief than holding the baby doll.

See that’s why Mason almost dropped the baby the other day while watching the game. He was not trained to seat still and play daddy. LOL
But I do think it all eventually balances into the right direction as it should. Man was given the woman so I know God must have put something in him for him to be the man to his woman. A father to his children.

Life itself teaches you when you get older. Any man trying to use an excuse is still a little boy in mind.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
9:51 am

Good Morning All, :)

My mom never sat me down and gave me the Wife/Mother tutorial. When I was younger I didn’t sit and observe what she did as a mother or wife.. I just thought and saw of her as “mommy” :) ….

Now that I”m older and I look back I appreciate and value everything she taught me directly and indirectly…. I’m “aware” of how to be a good mother/ and “wife”( although I don’t really want to cross that bridge lol).

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
9:52 am

mytwo – Here you go…

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 1 Corinthians 13

Now I was trained according to what ^^^THAT^^^ means also. :)

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
9:53 am

Three Words Daily – Mind over matter.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
9:54 am

@ Mytwo – I’d had a pretty good breakfast from manna on HIGH this morning…so you know!

abc

September 23rd, 2009
9:54 am

In my experience, women are no better equipped to deal with their first children or be a good parent than men are. American culture has the effect of encouraging women to participate in the workforce and have a career, not stay home and be a nurturing parent, and make no mistake — young children are better off with Mom at home, not in a day care while Mom’s at work.

I was 12 when my baby brother was born, and I was pretty much designated official diaper changer and baby feeder. By the time he was 3 the maid pretty much took care of him all the time. I had to teach new mommy how to do all the basics when all 3 of my children were born, and they pretty much left it up to me to handle all that anyway, which was okay with me — they were so squeamish about adequately cleaning up the baby boy’s butt and other privates that they’d get a rash.

So, I don’t buy the maternal instinct bit. I don’t buy the natural inclination to be wifey, either. Two people will be good for each other in that regard if they want to be; they’ll be good parents to their children if they want to be. If they want to be enough.

kimmie

September 23rd, 2009
9:56 am

Good beautiful morning blog people! Blogging from home today with the little boy & girl teacups

I could not get to the blog Monday from work at all and was only able to see it yesterday late in the afternoon. Hope everyone survived the “Atlanta Katrina” well and with little or no damage.

On topic – I guess I went through the “training camp” so to speak, by watching my mom. She was, according to my observation, a fabulous wife & mother. I remember my father going on and on about that to someone when she passed away. Both parents I guess were traditional in their roles. But my mother never showed me how to do anything by prefacing “this is what a wife and mother should do”. Her main goal was for me and my brothers to be self-sufficient. She didn’t think it was cute for anyone, male or female, to not be able to clean up behind themselves, do laundry, and prepare simple meals. She said she was preparing us for the world, not some spouse per se. She did say it was an abomination for a MOTHER to not be able to cook at least simple meals for her child. And she did say she wanted my brothers to be able to care for themselves because she said she said women were not being raised to care for homes & families like her much anymore.

So the “Training Camp for a Self-Sufficient, Contributing Member of Society” is the one I attended.

Mike Jones (who)

September 23rd, 2009
10:05 am

Growing up I was given toys like video games and sports stuff. Neither has helped very much in the dating game unless the female can handle herself on the “sticks” (video game) or if she’s into basketball.

But I was also given great male role models to learn from. Thats where I learned how to be (in a deep voice) a MAN! I picked up things mostly from watching my parents interact through the ups and downs, the rest I picked up from my peers and watching HBO late night specials!!! lol

Chris Rock said
A fathers main job as a parent is to keep his daughter off the pole! lol If she ends up being a skripper you f***ed up!

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
10:05 am

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
10:07 am

Guys, if men are taught to be hunters and providers, what or whom is teaching you about the other important traits that are needed for a relationship?

we learn by observing,as kids, and things get ingrained in our brain.That which u observe from older folks becomes some kinda normal for u,in a very sub-conscious way…without u having to take any meaningful notice of saying,yeah,im gonna do that when i grow up to be a daddy or mummy.
And i believe that is why some turn out to be good and others bad,all becoz of what we saw or observed,growing up.
Others have no clue,they know they want to be this way or that way but growing up,there was no role model in that position.They kinda get lost.
Whenever i go outside to cut my grass, i ask my prince to go out with me and now at 4 yrs old,he even wants to cut grass himself.
I put him on the saddle and let him handle it even tho its me applying all the skills.Im getting him prepared.When i clean up the lawn and shrubbery,hes there with me picking up his own trash.When i make errands to home depot,hes there in the truck.
Thats how u prepare them and that is how i was raised as well.
Whenever i have some tense words to say to my Queen,we reserve that fro upstairs,with the door shut.U got conduct myslef in a ceratain way,even when in their midst.No cussing in my house,no foul words of any sort.The moment we slip on that,it becomes a normal for them as well.
And thats my training manual so far!

Merning folks,hope everybody is here! :lol:

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
10:10 am

@ abc

Your opinion is definately valid, b/c you are speaking from “your experience”…

On the other hand.. I truly belive that “women” have the mother instinct in them. You were “thrown” into having to take care of your brother, that wasn’t something already planted inside of you. As a “first” time mom of a 3 yr old… I just had that nuturing spirit about me.. before my little one was born I didn’t take a class on how to take care of a baby… It came naturally as I think it does for most women. IMO

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
10:10 am

kimmie I heard the “wife” bit a lot growing up especially from my grandmother.

I was sad when my first husband died but that was probably one of the best things that happened to and for me. I was left alone to raise a child on my own. The things my dad tried to teach us about paying your bills and getting out there making it were really about to come in handy at that time. I had to make it.

When I was 18 I tricked my dad into letting me put off going to college for one year. All I wanted to do was marry that boy at the time. And that’s what I did and never made it to higher learning. If that young had not died I would not be the woman I am today. I know I wouldn’t be.

I just wanted to be his wife and I very well possibly would be an unfulfilled wife right now knowing nothing but being his wife.

Deeva4Life

September 23rd, 2009
10:11 am

I guess I fall in a different category than most posted here…my mom didn’t really “train” me and my sisters to be wives and mothers. And my dad wasn’t the best example of what to expect from a husband and father. Now don’t get it twisted, I love my parents; I feel they did the best they could with what they knew. However, my mom lost her mom at a young age and my dad lost his dad at an even younger age so neither of them had that “model” to learn from. I’ve been blessed to spend time with my Godmother who’s been married for 46 years and the mother of 5. She would be my best example of what a wife and mother should be and do. She’ll be the first to admit those 46 years have been nothing shy of hard work and there were some real rocky points, but she’s from an era where you MAKE it work. Having been married before, I’m not really sure if my ex-husband truly thought I was a “good” wife (he says I was, but that’s usually on the heels of him trying to “hookup”…as if) but I was so young and didn’t even know myself. The real proof will come when/if I marry again.

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 23rd, 2009
10:13 am

I was raised that men dont cry, they dont kiss boys, you take care of your family and you will work or you wont eat. I will say my Dad wasnt a bad dad but he wasnt the nurturing type. He never told me he loved me, but I knew he did by the way he would look at me with those proud eyes. Ive never seen my father cry, even when his mother died he sat there and didnt mutter a word. My Dad stood on what he believed in and meant what he said. Thats why I said the other day the only part he missed on was telling me he loved me cause a dude could have heard that from his dad and I make sure I tell my son all the time that Daddy loves him. Growing up I just knew my Dad was Furious Styles cause he would always say “Son you think Im being hard on you but you’ll appreciate it one day” and honestly I do. My Dad taught me how to wash a car, change oil, mow the grass, try to fix something by grabbing a book because you dont have to pay for everything, he taught me about respect, he showed me how a man should handle a household and he taught me how to be a stand up Dude period. Thats why its so hard for me to accept the new fangledness of women today because I truly believe the man should be the head of the household because when everything else fails its on his shoulders. He wasnt perfect by any stretch of the imagination but I appreciate him for the things he did.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
10:14 am

@ Kimmie & teacups – Do they know who gave them that name? Haaay missy!

@ Melo – Do you know what a Sit n Spin is? Ever seen/heard of ‘em?

kimmie

September 23rd, 2009
10:14 am

I remember going to visit my uncle & his family in California one summer. His youngest daughter, my cousin, was about 5 and her brother was about 10. We went shopping one day for toys & stuff for the kids. I remember taking girl cuz to look at the dolls and other girly stuff. She seemed bored out of her mind. The boy stuff was exciting and loud, with all the sirens, bells & whistles! We ended up picking out this cool remote control red car for her that went fast and made noise. I told my uncle she just wanted something more exciting! She’s a lovely young lady in college now with an inquisitive mind. She knows how to cook and clean too, by the way.

Parents should observe their kids and try to tap on their budding talents. Don’t stifle them because “society” says boys should do this and girls should do that.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
10:14 am

One thing I can say about my two husbands, not knowing each and every trait they picked up as boys along the way, they both knew and know that a husband belongs at home. Not out running the streets all times of the day and night.

I am fortunate to have married two men whose fathers were pretty good husbands and one a good father and the other an okay father.

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
10:19 am

@ Melo – Do you know what a Sit n Spin is? Ever seen/heard of ‘em?

NOPE….but im sure there is a zulu version of it.
Spit it!!

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
10:21 am

you asked for it Cee….

Random Thought by 2 Can:…….if you’re a parent and live at home, you’re STILL in training camp!

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
10:24 am

Can’t say that my training had anything to do with toys. I never had very many as a child. I was more into reading.

Some of what I observed as a child were more What Not To Do lessons. Fortunately, my stepmother came into my life at a time where I was able to learn a lot from her about how to be a wife. And saw how my dad treated her as my foundation for how a man treats his wife.

As to being a mother, I have seen the missteps that friends have made as young parents raising themselves while attempting to raise children. I am glad that I have put off motherhood. Should I travel down that path, it will be with a greater understanding of what it means to truly RAISE a child and with a willingness to make sacrifices that I would not have been ready to make at a younger age.

kimmie

September 23rd, 2009
10:25 am

Hey Sister Cee – Naw, I have not told them their blog nicknames! I think it’s so cute though!

Melo – See, that’s how I’m used to boys being raised. My dad, granddad, uncles all did it the way you do. And that’s how they learned to be gentlemen too – show them how to hold the door for the ladies, things like that. Be respectful to their mother & sisters so that’s how they treat ladies they date & marry. And you are so right, parents have to set the example and keep their grown-up business to themselves! That’s exactly how my parents were and other couples in the family. Excellent!

Raqi – We live and we learn. Sometimes life is the best teacher. And we eventually see what our parents tried to teach us.

AmazonRed™

September 23rd, 2009
10:26 am

Morning all –

There wasn’t real training camp going on when I was coming up either. My mother was primarly concerned with building character and self-esteem. That was her focus. She felt the domestic duties could be learned when it was time to marry.

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 23rd, 2009
10:34 am

Newsflash – Ok I take it back.. I just saw my Father cry for the first time just now.. He just came to the office and told me his best buddy of 45 years just died.. He balled his eyes out. He told me Im a good son and that he and his guy was just talking about that Monday. Dang Im shook on so many levels right now. He just got up and walked out after he said what he had to say. I feel stupid cause I couldnt say anything; first because dude passed but then cause Pops was crying.. I gotta call my sister..

kimmie

September 23rd, 2009
10:35 am

DK – Beautiful story about your dad.

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
10:37 am

I like that 2C…at home and still in training.

I strongly believe that once a woman gives birth, motherly instincts “immediately” become front and center. I wasn’t afraid of that tiny little baby when I had to change her diaper or pick her up, but her father was. For some men, babies are simply too fragile for their rough mental, big hands. I learned on my own and doing what my heart told me to do. Sometimes, my heart told me to call Mama! Sure, I watched others over the years as I was maturing and some of those visions I saw and the words I heard stuck with me and some didn’t. What I know for sure is I can only parent the way that feels right to me.

Compelling

September 23rd, 2009
10:38 am

I’m so sorry to hear that DK. Well it’s a good thing that your dad knew he could come to you and talk to you in a moment like that. He needed someone to lean on.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
10:39 am

@ Melo – Sit n Spin is a toy that you sit on a spin for hours and hours on end…

I had it as a kid lil tot, as I remember…I’d go into my own world just playing on that toy and when I finished playing on it I enjoyed reading a few comic books…today it has been redesigned with sounds a lights (of course “modern day” toy) and they say it’s good for balance, motor development …ect.

When I was a kid my mom always said the toy is totally senseless but we as 70s 80s kids loved it & it did not require a lot of “special skill”…so…therefore they reinvented the new version. What’s funny is kids don NOT use/appreciate the reinvention and use the old time why…less all the “lights and sounds”…

My point is, you and your son are bonding, cutting grass, dad/son time by your own design and how YOU train him…most times MEN that are trained to do how they were raised really don’t stray away much from the “old time’ way. What gets me is…alotta these men KNOW, they just…I’on know…

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
10:40 am

Everything we see as kids in the household molds our minds. If you grow up with a dad that is a workaholic and never home that is a good indication of how a boy branching from that household will be or think. And that is also what a girl can come to expect from the man in her life.

If there is fussing and fighting amongst the parents all the time, you will grow thinking that is normal and how your life will be.

It’s only when you a chance to see or experience another side that you began desire something else. A lot of folks have no clue of what they were missing in the household or even how fortunate they had it until they see the other side.

One of my friends nearly ruined her marriage in its early stage because she grew up in a household where both parents were married to their careers more than each other and there was very little PDA in the house between the two. She and her husband both are physicians and she says when she got married she sorta was in one part of the apartment working on her thing and left her husband to do the same. Well that didn’t set to well with him and caused big problems in their relationship. They BOTH had to learn to meet each other half way. Well more like 45/55 but it’s working.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
10:41 am

Thanks 2C…glad you brought that up.

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
10:41 am

I believe girls are taught…taught something, anything in an effort to become mother/wife material….even if misguided. However, boys mostly I don’t believe are groomed or taught or steered in the direction of fatherhood/husbandship (can I say that). I honestly don’t think most believe there’s a need. There’s no stigma attached to a bad seed of a man. If he’s a bad seed, he’s often labeled a victim and if he decides to change the tides in his life and man up he becomes the hero. Other than that…for a man…that’s it. Because of the stigma that can be associated to a bad apple of a woman that has seemingly failed or is misguided or about as dumb as a box of rocks or lost or without a clue, an effort to avoid manifestation of such or ward off is done by teaching little girls during their impressionable years mommies/women/wife 101. The double standard is in full effect, there’s nothing to live down even if his life is nothing but turmoil, heck if he churns out a buttload of kids AND never takes responsibility, again he’s a victim. A victim of being black, a victim of being born with two stikes against him, a victim of society….blah blah blah. With women, EVERY single mistake, mishap, faux pas is eternally associated and attached. So it is my belief because of such, the effort to groom and teach is laid upon the female persuasion. It is also my belief boys being left to rear themselves is the demise of so much gone wrong in our society. I don’t mean boys aren’t told to get a job, support themselves, etc., but they are not taught to be the glue that holds everything together. To be the backbone they’re were intended. While it’s a shared tragedy for either man or woman to lack teaching and guidance, boys being left to raise themselves is a huge factor. Just my opinion.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
10:42 am

….”heads up” to you and your Pops Infamous.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
10:42 am

@ DK :

Sorry to hear… my prayers our with everyone who’s effected..

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
10:42 am

@DK ~ It was endearing to read that your father has been friends with another man for 45 years. Sorry to hear about his loss!

Ms.Sunshine

September 23rd, 2009
10:43 am

Ladies, do you think that you’ve been to a virtual “training camp” to be a good wife? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Nope. My mom just did her job as a wife and mom and I learned by observing her.

Do you think it makes a difference on your views about love and marriage?

Yep, it does. If people miss this lesson, it’s blatantly obvious. Look at dating today and you see the remnants of it.

If a guy makes a horrible boyfriend, would that make you think twice about viewing him as a viable husband candidate?

Not think twice, I wouldn’t even think of marrying that joker. if he can’t be a boyfriend right, how the heck can I expect him to take care of me and our kids?

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Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
10:49 am

2CPTG we will always be in training until the day we die. There is no one that has stumbled upon every situation and mastered in it all.

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
10:49 am

Be it a wife or husband, as long as it’s a road you’ve never travel, guidance is always needed. I don’t the learn as you go is a good wear. While some may have faired well, sooo many other instances or failures can be attributed to not knowing how to fair.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
10:49 am

If he’s a bad seed, he’s often labeled a victim and if he decides to change the tides in his life and man up he becomes the hero.

Well said Ms. Main….
Why do we applaud men for doing what they should do??? Being a father/Being a good husband….

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
10:50 am

we will always be in training until the day we die. There is no one that has stumbled upon every situation and mastered in it all.

I cosign this statement however, a foundation is always needed to navigate from day to day.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
10:52 am

Ms. Main that whole comment is so on point. Totally awesome.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
10:55 am

So true Dream_n. A woman being a good wife and mother is what she supposed to do and getz no praise. But a man gets a hero cookie just for being half-azzed.

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
10:55 am

Dream_n Why do we applaud men for doing what they should do???

Good question…and applicable to women as well. During my daugther’s infant years, I’m a struggling mother, mad because life wasn’t exactly easy, struggling with the whole of motherhood. In a heated debate, I tell her you haven’t walked in my shoes, I’ve given up a lot for my baby. I feed her, take care of her, put my needs on hold, blah blah blah….and she says to me “AND RIGHTFULLY SO”…it took some time for me to get that but I got it. No accolades for doing the needful.

Ms.Sunshine

September 23rd, 2009
10:55 am

Why do we applaud men for doing what they should do??? Being a father/Being a good husband….

I totally agree with this…but I feel the same about single mothers. If you gotta do it alone, just do it. Why a big cheer because you are being a parent, something you chose to do? Hey, give me a reward for going to work or paying my bills then.

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
10:56 am

Raqi Ms. Main that whole comment is so on point. Totally awesome.

Why thank you Ms. Raqi

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
10:56 am

Infamous now turns another chapter in your life. It’s okay for a man to cry.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
10:56 am

That’s MRS. Raqi to you chica.

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
10:59 am

That’s MRS. Raqi to you chica.

Gotcha

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
11:01 am

Ms. Main- That 10:41 is nothing BUT THE TRUTH!!

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
11:04 am

ok Raqi, you wanna get into semantics…..of course we’re going to be in training camp until the day we die, ’cause we live and we learn…..HOWEVER, some things we should have a firm grip on, and not make the same mistakes we did in our youth…now, if we learn from our mistakes, and don’t repeat ‘em, then I’d have to say we’ve mastered/conquered those obstacles……

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
11:07 am

I wasn’t taught to be anybody’s wife or mother.. My mom taught me to respect myself & others, go to school & take all that life has to offer..

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
11:10 am

A young lady works with me. She is 24yrs old and has been a wife and mother since she was 19. She is mature, settled, easygoing and just a wonderful person. At one point, she took responsibility for her brother’s four children (in addition to her two) for over a year. The nephews have since been taken by another (older) family member.

She came to me yesterday expressing some concern about the relationship between her and her husband. He works two full time jobs. So, they rarely have one on one time and when they do, they usually just go out to eat or to see a movie. She says that while they don’t have any problems now and everything between them is fine. She doesn’t want to wake up 5 years from now and not know who her husband is, have a totally different life than he does and having grown apart because they were so busy working, parenting, providing a certain way of life, that they didn’t nurture the relationship between the two of them.

But she also said she didn’t know how to approach him with it in a way that wouldn’t make it seem like she was unhappy (cause she’s not.) She’s just trying to be proactive. (Which I applaud her for having this foresight at such a young age.)

She asked me my thoughts. My response, “Hell, I don’t know. I’m single.” But I told her that I would ask my peoples.

Raqi? Melo? Poppa? Anybody else?

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
11:11 am

Lioness Yep, we’re seeing eye to eye

MR. Unknown

September 23rd, 2009
11:12 am

Why do we applaud men for doing what they should do??? Being a father/Being a good husband…. Maybe its do to the fact that we only hear about the bad that we are doing… How many of you can actually say that you talk about the good in a brother instead of the bad. Why not applaud… Bruths get tired of being beat down with the same story of bad…

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
11:12 am

now this is some trainin’ for ya azz……

“People magazine says Phillips writes in her new book, “High on Arrival,” that she had sex with her father on the night before she was to get married in 1979.”

abc

September 23rd, 2009
11:14 am

I was raised that men dont cry, they dont kiss boys, you take care of your family and you will work or you wont eat.

DK, I think those things are absolutely true. I kissed my boys when they were babies, but by the time they were 6-8 years old, they were pretty much over that themselves, and I thought that was a pretty good thing, actually.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
11:24 am

If a brutha (lol) is doing good… then there is no reason to talk bad… If a brutha is doing bad… well the rest is history….

I’m not going to give you a standing ovation b/c you chose to take care of home instead of running off, I ‘ll respect you for that.

I think these are the 21st century guyz needing that pat on the back….

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
11:25 am

SexyCool

she has not expressed any other reservations about her husband so we assume her only concern is the “time tgether” part..

I wld venture to say that shes in a good place with a luving husband who works hard to provide for his fam.Its really hard out there and if ones’ salary aint that much, any normal hubby shld do evething in their power,2/3 jobs so as to make ends meet…
However,any relationship needs to be nourished in order to last and hers is no different.
She needs to talk to her hubby and explain her need for more “us” time.If they have relatives to help her with the kid(s) while hubby and herslf go out to enjoy their youth,since they young,they cld try that route.But she needs to comunicate that to her man in order to make her relationship strong.Without effective comunication,that cry to an outsider i.e. a man cld end up being bad for her relationship.
Her concern is not unusual in my view..i think it is very legitimate.Any relationship needs to be spiced up and her hubby cld wiggle some time to do that,if only her concerns are expressed.
Good luck for her on that!

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
11:26 am

@ SexyCool

Sit her husband down and talk…… period :)

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
11:28 am

Mr.Unknown How many of you can actually say that you talk about the good in a brother instead of the bad. Why not applaud…

Don’t get it wrong…I don’t think there’s not one good sister on this blog or anywhere in the world that cannot appreciate or will not show her appreciate for that good man. A good man though? A man that’s simply doing what he should. Whether you get stroked for being such or not, has nothing to do with you performing in the role made for you. As with women as well. Again, nothing wrong with showing apprecation for either man or woman and really a good spouse/mate will, but what’s the down factor in not getting stroked about it.

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
11:31 am

And say what, Dream’n?

If she knew exactly what to say to him, there would be no point in asking for advice.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
11:32 am

Hold on SexyCool, let me talk to 2CPTG for a minute.

2CPTG I know that. I learned and also tell me oldest that until he remembers that mistake, how it feels and learns from it he will continue to repeat. But what I am saying is just in terms of life and not necessarily mistakes we will be forever learning.

As you know I already had two kids when I got married nearly 4 years ago. I already know what it’s like to raise to kids however where I am now, in this relationship, with this man, having birthed his child is something new. Yeah the whole big picture is the same. Man, wife, child but the individual personalites are different and makes the way I need to act and respond different to a degree. So now I am learning my life with him and this baby as well as incorporating it with the me back then.

Heck I am still in training raising my oldest. Until he is completely out of my pocket and from under my care I am still raising him. That’s what I mean.

I have never raised a daughter before, but hey now I have to. Yall pray for me. LOL

Each progression is life carries it’s own lesson. Hence I say we will always be in training.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
11:35 am

@ SexyCool

Tell him what she told you…

Sometimes when it comes to a husband and wife (IMO)… outside advice isn’t always the best… Go to the root of the problem which is the communication between her and her husband…. When they go out for that movie/dinner…. or when there is that alone time… Tell him exactly what she told you, the raw emotion of what she is feeling… don’t try sugar coat it to make it come out nice…. (IMO)

kinderbabe

September 23rd, 2009
11:36 am

good morning all. hope everyone is groovy.:) have a good day.

Page1908

September 23rd, 2009
11:36 am

lol @ “brutha”- Dream_n

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
11:38 am

Advice is always from the outside, isn’t it?

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
11:39 am

@2C – If that aint the nastiest!…alright dang!

Kym-is up for trying something new.

September 23rd, 2009
11:40 am

Morning All,

I always tell my kiddio I am teaching him to be a good person. Treat others well, raise hell when its necessary, wash yourself, feed yourself, and stay away from the people who will get you arrested. I find myself repeating things I learned from my elders to the boy. Somedays it clicks(heck he even refreshes my memory from time to time) other days–err not so much. But I always encourge his interest no matter if I understand them or not(I could care less about aliens, starfighters, and life on other planets) because I always remember my folks encourged mine.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
11:42 am

@ Mr. Unknown – Contrary to popular belief some of us woman do NOT get “ata girl” cause we’re doing what we are suppose to do.

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
11:42 am

@ Cee….I guess he wanted to train her how she’s supposed to do with her hubby….I’on know, hell….

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
11:44 am

@ SexyCool

never mind :)

Compelling

September 23rd, 2009
11:44 am

@ SexyCool- I actually agree with Dream_n. Sometimes it’s better just to talk things out with that person. Nothing helps like going to the source. As her husband, he shouldn’t be put off by her expressing her concerns. I’m not married, but I do believe that the lines of communication should be open between and husband and wife and she should be able to go straight to him with how she’s feeling and have him respect and appreciate her being forthcoming. No need to suffer in silence.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
11:46 am

Dude probably feels the same way she does about their marriage..

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
11:47 am

Hey kinderteach! School’s in session! Yay!

I promised if my son played that Wii a little harder yesturday will he was home, that I was going to make him write the entire Declaration of Independance for “busy work” today (if they’d be out).

He clean my kitchen so well tho’ so how can i be upset for real!?

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
11:47 am

SexyCool she maybe could make efforts to keep the fire burning. Suggest that they do things together to stay in touch with each other and their marriage.

I was telling Mason the other night that I want us to have a date night once a week. Or at least every other week. I don’t want to lose my connection him amid the hustle and bustle of everyday living. It can get lost. You go day in and day out in the routine of life, the days passing you by so fast and not realizing that you are losing touch and/or growing apart.

We all wish this thing was effortless but it is not. She has to take it upon herself to be active in the way of keeping it close and together. I would say not to necessarily approach him with the “I don’t want us to grow apart” speech but rather just do it.

One thing I suggest since he is working two jobs, maybe get a sitter like her mother or someone who would not mind watching the kids for an hour or two, and meet him for lunch or on his break at the job that he works when she is not working. And talk about something other than the kids, the bills, and the house. LOL Sometimes I tell myself when I get ready to go to bed “I am not going to talk about work, kids, or household issues tonight.” Anything else but those issues. Sometimes it work and sometimes it doesn’t.

One thing my friend Doc told who has been with her hubby for 20 years, you will not always have something to talk about. Turn on the television, grab the paper or a book, and talk about that. Every conversation between a couple do not always have to be deep and intricate details of their life and relationship together. Talk about why that dumb arse millionaire needs to be kicked off of Survivor.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
11:49 am

Raqi-Talk about why that dumb arse millionaire needs to be kicked off of Survivor.<– That dude had me HOT last week!!

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
11:50 am

Thanks, MRS. Raqi.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
11:53 am

lol….. :)

Very well… carry on…

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
11:57 am

That explains a lot about MacKenzie if that’s true…that’s nasty on all levels. Folks with no boundaries…SMH

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
11:58 am

Yall know how to put life back into stale bread? You put some heat to it. Sprinkle on a little water, wrap in a dish towel or papertowel and put in the microwave for a few seconds. Or wrap in foil and put in oven.

Heat and water (water is life) is the key.

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
11:59 am

SexyCool

u may wanna ask her,”so how is the communication,generally,tween u and hubby”?? That she came to ask u may or may not be an indication of a bigger issue.
I wld think tho that the key is communication with her hubby about her need for more “us” time..When they do go for the movies or dinner,instead of taking the kids with them,they ask for a relative to chip and help with the kids for a few hours.That may help to get her emotional needs met.
The hubby is doing the damn thing tho,tell her shes in a good spot coz of his hard wrk.But she just needs to communicate more with him so that he understands where she coming from.
When u do have a good wife etc,smetimes us dudes wl forget exctly what she talking about,the emotional needs of a woman.
Her concerns are very legitimate tho…

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
12:02 pm

Raqi,dont copy my answers!! :lol:

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
12:08 pm

Thanks, Queen’s husband.

Just a little more info – She says that this came up when recently he took some days off to go to Miami with ‘the boys’ (which she didn’t have a problem with.), but noticed how it seemed easy for him to have extra energy for ‘the boys’ but most often, when he has time off to spend with her, they do very little or ‘nothing special’ as a couple because he is ‘tired’. Which she understands because he IS working two jobs. And that he has to work those two jobs to provide the ‘lifestyle’ that they have both become accustomed to.

But her bigger concern is their bond and not losing who they are as a couple.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
12:10 pm

Melo while communication is a vital part of relationships, communication is not always about pointing out a problem or issue verbally, it is also about doing.

One problem we women have is how present issues and it usually is in a way of saying “there’s a problem”. That makes the listener get on the defense without even hearing what the issue is. It is sometimes an unconscious reaction.

When I hear “we need to talk” I usually think “oh crap” or “what now”. Don’t present a problem not is not really a problem. A concern can just be dealt with in making an effort. Her thing is she just wants to keep it alive and spend time with her husband. She can do that without presenting an “issue” for discussion.

When I told my husband that I want us to have a date night every week I did not go into the whole song and dance about us not losing each other in life’s race. I just said we need to get out and away from it sometimes. We still love each other so let’s date like we do.

When you always present issues and put people on the defense they (we) will sometimes feel you (I am) are saying that the other person is lacking or doing something wrong. Even when it is not what you are saying.

I agree her concerns are legitimate but they should not be present as “we have a problem”.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
12:11 pm

How old is he? Sounds like he checked out of their marriage already.. There is no way that she is happy is her emotional needs aren’t being met..

Mo (aka Moeisha )

September 23rd, 2009
12:12 pm

Afternoon Everybody!

Hey Kinderbabe, good to read ya chica!

Raqi – that date night is a great thing. I had a friend who did that w her hubby before he passed away (they had no children either). They let NOTHING get in the way of their date night and she said it helped their relationship since they had opposite work hours

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
12:12 pm

Raqi,dont copy my answers

Dude it ain’t me copying it’s called being in the know. You know marriage, I know marriage….LOL

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
12:14 pm

They are the same age. And she insists that there are no other issues. He’s just tired from working all the time.

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
12:15 pm

SexyCool

My relationship with Mrs. PG is similar. We both work and are working toward furthering education.

We realize that we should have quality time since quantity isn’t always available.

We like to do more interactive dates than the dinner and movie (although sometimes budget and/or time only allows us to do a movie).

Bowling is probably our #1 thing. We get to use our competitive natures out, and it doesn’t hurt that I can check out her nice body while she bowls. :grin:

Seriously though, we have done things such a pottery (kinda like the Movie “Ghost”), we’ve taken grilling/cooking classes at Viking (in the Brookwood area near the Kroger), we’ve done Malibu Grand Prix (Go Cart Racing), and other things. Creativity keeps us excited and interested. We take turns on choosing the evening.

On another note, Oceanaire in Atlanta will close sometime in upcoming months. The parent company filed bankruptcy during the summer and has already closed some restaurants around the US.

Trois closed during Labor Day Weekend.

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
12:15 pm

I commend her in attempting to be proactive. Reading all this it does appear that certain things need to be addressed now before it gets worse. I understand men like to get away with the boys at times. But, if he has newfound energy for that and is lackluster around her….they need to get down to the core of the problem. She may wake up and realize he’s going on trips more and more while she’s at home wondering when did they lose the ability/desire to meet each others needs!!

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
12:19 pm

Dude is young & hasn’t had a chance to do fun things with his life.. I couldn’t imagine getting married @ 19..

PG- That is what I am talking about :razz:

Leggs- This is nothing new to her.. Most likely, women don’t talk abut issues when they first arise.. They tend to talk about them when they become a problem..

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
12:21 pm

Looks to me like they’ve already tried the going out “advice”….

I’m confusd now….
*looks around for her mariage license to contribute to the conversation* lol
i kid i kid :)

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
12:21 pm

but noticed how it seemed easy for him to have extra energy for ‘the boys’

SexyCool that’s why I said spend some time together and DO NOT talk about the house, kids, bills, yada, yada, yada. That’s the break he gets when he is with “the boys”. He don’t have to deal with all of that. That’s crap gets tiring sometimes. That’s why I told Mason we need to get away from “all of this” sometimes.

Dang she is young. I have been there. I can imagine how it is going down. My first husband worked two jobs and when he was home it was always about what else we needed to do to make ends meet. Or the baby did this, that and the other. Or the baby needs XYZ. The man probably needs a break. And so does she but she don’t know it yet.

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
12:21 pm

Raqi,there is communication and the art of comunication.U miss on both,u dont get the job done.

SexyCool i kinda suspected it…when a wife has to tell another person,there has to be some lingering concerns underneath otherwise she wld just address that issue with the hubby.

Now on the art of communicating, i suggest she address the issue the way Raqi suggests,in a sublime smooth way and not like its a Biggie issue to sit down and talk about…
Like Raqi, i have a problem weith the “we need to talk” talk.
Just call me or when i get home,come on the couch with me and just say,”how about we go out to old school satday, this saturday,or blah blah” rather than put me on notice……
I hate that!

Compelling

September 23rd, 2009
12:25 pm

LMAO @ Dream_m! I’m dyin laughin’ over here. I needed that laugh. It was more like a guffaw. :-)

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
12:26 pm

Like Raqi, i have a problem weith the “we need to talk” talk.
Just call me or when i get home,come on the couch with me and just say,”how about we go out to old school satday, this saturday,or blah blah” rather than put me on notice……
I hate that!

I don’t get it… If the woman has an uderlying problem… feeling as though they don’t go out or spend time as much… DON”T TALK about it. just suggest things to do huh??? Did I miss something??

So when you go out that day and come home and you think everything is all hony dorey ( lol)…. but everything goes back to the same… YOur solution is to suggest another date night?

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
12:28 pm

We have date night and we even have been so busy in the past that we even schedule a sex night. That night was mandatory, not that either of us complained. We never wanted to busy for some of the basic things. We just did it so that we have time for each other that no one took (barring emergency). When you work and/or attend school at least 6 days every week, you gotta show a commitment to each others needs.

As for days out with the boys, that is not really an issue. We have a regularly scheduled time for getting together every other week. Sometimes it is as simple as getting together for lunch or as rowdy as a night at the Cheetah (when we want to see more than variety) or Magic City (when we just wanna a taste of chocolate). We all have Significant Others (some married some not, but all hitched).

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
12:34 pm

Dream_n,the lady wants time with her hubby,i guess, un- encumbered by the demands of motherhood….

solution,when hubby gets home,suggest ways to have time alone with hubby and hear hiz responds etc then go from there

Thats Comunication 101.

(what i dont like is being called on the wrk place to say,”we need to talk”) like i close my mouf whenever i see u.

Get it?

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
12:36 pm

The REAL question is, does the hubby WANT to spend any time with her?

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
12:38 pm

@ Lioness

The other day when you weren’t on here I was like where is Lioness.. Her one liners always crack me up lol…. :)

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
12:40 pm

The REAL question is, does the hubby WANT to spend any time with her?

she will know when she opens her mouf to suggest this,that or the other……

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
12:41 pm

@Lioness, the fact she said nothing else is wrong, subliminally says something else is wrong. Even if she thinks this is the only gray area, he may feel otherwise.

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
12:42 pm

He works one of the two jobs every day of every week. When he is getting home at 5am or 7am depending on which job he is getting home from, she is asleep or getting up to get kids ready for school and getting ready to come to work herself. She doesn’t get home from work until after 8p most evenings, so, she has picked the kids up from the sitter’s and he has already left to go to work.

They only usually have time alone together on Mondays (her day off) after she has gotten the kids ready for school and before he has to leave for work at 5p or 7p.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
12:42 pm

Dream- Gurl, I bees serious!

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
12:42 pm

Man I tell ya, you are in a bad place when every time you turn the knob to enter your house it’s done with a sigh of despair or exhaustion. When I was raising my boys alone some days it was like “here we go again”. That’s when I took the advice to get away sometimes. I would go stay in a hotel for the weekend right around the corner just to get away. To not have to cook, clean, do the dishes, listen to other’s problem was a much needed break that I learned to give myself.

When you sigh opening that door or the ride home starts to feel dreary, you need to find a way to break away from it sometimes or it will only get worse. And break itself off.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
12:42 pm

@ Melo,

Why can’t she just ask.. why beat around the bush and play school.. giving him tests…. Just tell “him” how she feels. From the description of her byt Sexycool… She seemss to have a good head on her shoulders… no need to go around the subject

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
12:43 pm

The only reason she said nothing else is wrong because I specifically asked her that question.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
12:46 pm

@ Raqi

Tell me about it…. Preach my sista Preach!!

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
12:46 pm

Sexy- What are your thoughts(if you have any) about her situ?

Miss Moni

September 23rd, 2009
12:46 pm

@ Raqi: You truly are BLESSED! You’ve had 2 husbands and I’m still waiting on 1!

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
12:47 pm

Moni- :lol: :lol: :lol: Soon come.. Soon come.. Make sure you aren’t out there looking..

STOP H8TIN ON ATTENCHION OHSSSS

September 23rd, 2009
12:47 pm

DONT YOU SEE YOU CACKLING BROADS RAN AWAY ALL THE REGULAR GUYS!?!?!?

IT IS VERY SAD BECAUSE YOU GUYS THINK YOU KNOW SO DAMN MUCH. ALWAYS RUNNING YOUR DAMN MOUTHS. KEEP THEM SHUT FOR ONCE! YOU TALK TOO MUCH

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
12:51 pm

Compelling

September 23rd, 2009
12:51 pm

That seems like a really tough situation…they only have time on Mondays? Well that seems like the best day to make it a date night.

So if I’m reading correctly, they have three jobs between them? Maybe there are some underlying issues there. Not saying that there are, but it’s a possibility. For him to be working two jobs and then she also has one, it seems like quite a bit. I know that working three jobs can make for a stable home life, but at the expense of what? Their happiness? Their bond as husband and wife?

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
12:51 pm

Why can’t she just ask

she must..who is suggesting beating about the bish??

not me!
cme sit over here Queen, im watching my show and :

Queen,daddy,hw about we let auntie marry take care of the kids satrday and us 2 we go to Magic City?

King Melo: babe,thats what im talking ’bout!! did u say magic city or strokkers??

Queen:what u think,who has better ladies?

Kig melo: okaaay,we go both places so i can show u..u need to tell me what u gon wear…yeah(as melo plants a kiss on queen neck),maybe those hot short pants i got u for valentimes(not valentine’s) day! :lol:

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
12:52 pm

Lioness – Hell, I’m single. I really don’t think I’m in a position to offer a married woman an opinion about how to maintain that bond.

However, as I think is rather obvious, I spent quite a bit of time talking to her about the situation and trying to help her explore her options and for HER to come up with some suggestions for things for them to do together and ways to maintain the bond.

She says that he still sends her flowers and buys her teddy bears and is attentive when they are together and that they have no bedroom problems and he is her best friend.

She also admits that maybe, just maybe this is something that’s all in her head because now that she’s down to 2 kids and not 6 she has more time on her hands. She also says that she knows that she wants to head off a problem before there is one.

It was at that point that I actually and quite honestly thought of Raqi. (And subsequently, the rest of you married bloggers.)

Compelling

September 23rd, 2009
12:53 pm

LOL @ Stop H8tin!!!! I can’t stop laughin right now!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I’m crying….

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
12:55 pm

Poppa one thing I thought about is not making our date night the same night every week. That can become mundane also. I used to go out with my friends every Wednesday night before I got married. I knew when I woke up on Wednesday morning what I was going to be doing that evening. It became very routine. Now we have to schedule way ahead of time more than back then because all 4 of us are married and it’s just not that easy. But we still try to get together even if it’s just for brunch on Sunday.

Finding time to spend with my husband will be a lot easier because we are only dealing with one household. But I still do not want to do it on the same night every week. And definitely not do the same type of things every time.

My girl friend does date night with her husband and sometimes their date night is right there in the home. They get rid of the kids and do stuff right there that only involves the two of them.

This thing call marriage takes some effort. You don’t want to lose touch with each. You don’t want to not be able to spend time with your friends every so often because you don’t want to feel like your relationship is smothering you. And then you don’t want to not do things as a family when there are kids involved.

There are 7 days in the week.

We can have a date night for the two of us.

A day to spend with friends separately, but not on the same night since we have kids.

A day to spend with friends together since we are all friends with each other.

A family day. Sundays could be a good family day.

And the rest could be home time to deal with home stuff.

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
12:56 pm

I also asked the question about letting go of one of the jobs. That’s when she mentioned what him having the second job allowed them to do and the sense of comfort that it gives both of them.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
12:57 pm

She needs a girls night out..

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:00 pm

Compell- Don’t feed the animals.. :lol:

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
1:01 pm

NOW,Dream_n remeber Raqi talked about the art of communicating..
there is other communication that escalates a problem and does not do much to ameliorate a situation.What black folk regard as confrontational communication styles by some black women….

i dont recommend it in a luving realtionship.

Everybody,men and women need to learn how to communiucate and when to communicate.
For me and my household,dont tell me problems the momemt i enter the kitchen door,coming from work unless its urgent and the house is on fire,leaking or sme like that.
My modus operandi is to come home,go upstairs,change to home comfy clothes,pee, then go dwnstairs chill and talk and watch the telli.

Now is the time for u to come sit beside me and talk about ur day,ur school day etc.
That aint beating about the bish….
Its the diplomacy of it all.

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:01 pm

Raqi

Our date nights have to be different. Just based on our schedules. We look at each other syllabi and court calendars.

We actually set many of our nights with creative loafing on hand. You can find things to do anytime in a city this size.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:03 pm

Melo- I agree! Time & place

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
1:04 pm

SexyCool with the issue arising after shaking 4 kids she could possibly just have found herself with more time on her hands and feels a little neglected. Maybe.

I tell you what though, she has to make a big decision. Which does she want or need more? More of the money he brings in or more of his time.

Sometimes it’s just the price you pay.

From what I remember abc is a good one to speak on that.

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:05 pm

We have done date night at home.

We did that this past weekend. I went to Whole Foods and got some Georgia Grass Fed Fillet Mignon, and some scallops did a surf and turf dinner, and some wine.

I pulled some Thelonious Monk out of the CD crates and put it on. With some candlelight, it was a home date night.

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:06 pm

I agree with Lioness.

She may need some Girls Night outs, too. After all, she is bringing her concerns to SexyCool. It would probably be better for her to talk to a married woman (no offense meant SexyCool).

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:08 pm

PoppaG why n Hades there are no coupons in my Entertainment Book for BusyBee and JJ’s? Lol…

Hey man!

Miss Moni

September 23rd, 2009
1:08 pm

@ Lioness: I do believe that HE who finds a wife, finds a GOOD thing. So I’m waiting PATIENTLY to be found! :-)

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
1:08 pm

This seems like just advice for any type of relationship… not specifically for a marriage… idk

What’s the difference between Goldie and Kurt’s relationship as opposed to someone who is married….

Can they comment on this topic???

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:13 pm

@ Dreamn – Yup. But sometimes it’s that tomato to-mah-to ‘coin’.

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:14 pm

Cee

You knew that BusyBee and JJ’s weren’t gonna be in that book. Busy Bee has a daily special and that is the best that you will get! I will say though, they are worth every penny.

I have had to stay away for them for the last month and will probably stay away until the holidays. The wife and I are in a little family version of the Biggest Loser. She will be the Matron of Honor-I think that is what they call it-at a New Years Eve wedding in Chicago, IL. So, to be supportive, I joined in the weight loss thingy. It would be a little bit mean for me to eat Busy Bee chicken in front of her while she is eating healthy.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:16 pm

Moni- ;)

Dream- Goldie & Kurt probably could comment on it but not just any old person in a relationship.. Homegirl needs to have a life of her own since her life has been based around children.. Not a good thing since she is sooo young and probably has YET to experience what HER life is really all about..

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
1:16 pm

Dream_n, I would say yeah. A live-in love is a lot closer to living a wedded union than dating living apart. So yeah.

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
1:17 pm

PoppaG – None taken. She just sees me as a big sister. We do have a relationship outside of work.

As well, she does make time for GNO’s. I know, I’ve been out with her a few times.

Dream’n – I was not saying that an unmarried person could not offer advice in this situation. I was just specifically seeking advice from those in this forum who have consistently presented pictures of having stable, successful marriages.

I don’t mean to be offensive but what I gather from your situation is that you are living with a man who you took from his mother’s home, had a child with, who abuses you physically and verbally and that you are planning to leave at the end of your lease. So, I would say that your advice comes from a different standpoint and with different filters on it.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:18 pm

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:19 pm

PoppaG It is “matron of honor”…lol…okay you on the Big Loser regimen with Mrs. G and you sell out from fried chicken totally? For real?

My old man could never leave fried chicken outta his diet, course he’s not overweight either! :)

I was at Busy Bee a few weeks ago..

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:19 pm

What’s the difference between Goldie and Kurt’s relationship as opposed to someone who is married….

There are legal ramifications for them. They pretty much have to draw up wills to insure that the other gets something when one of them dies. Husbands and Wives get more of a priority when death does them part.

There is also a little difference when you know that you have to go through the whole divorce proceedings. Goldie and Kurt don’t. If I’m not mistaken they split in 2008. There was no divorce court. They simply went they own ways. Married folks have more to do to truly be split.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:20 pm

Where is this busy bee place??

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
1:21 pm

Now that its past 1.00 o’clock.

Imagine some pple, leaving and evacuating from Nu Erleens after Katrina to come settle in Austell ’round Atlanta, Ga, and now Sept 2009,they have to be rescued by boat from their flooded neigbhorhood coz of the tropical rains!

Hwz that for how I’m living?? :lol:

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:21 pm

I’m sorry that’s “maid of honor” either or “matron” has something to do with if the female has been divorced….gGotta ask my old cater co-worker buddy, ’bout that one.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:23 pm

…thought Dream was talkin ’bout advice.

Lol…lemme got get the switch/belt to pass over so Stop Hatin can gimme my due.

:)

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:25 pm

Cee

I always thought that maid was a single female, matron was married.

I am not up on wedding lingo. As far as mine was concerned, I was at the appointed place, at the appointed, and knew my appointed line. That was pretty much my involvement in the wedding. I was more in the reception planning.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:28 pm

PG- I am not up on wedding lingo. As far as mine was concerned, I was at the appointed place, at the appointed, and knew my appointed line. That was pretty much my involvement in the wedding. I was more in the reception planning<– I SWEAR that is something I would say :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
1:28 pm

@ SexyCool

offense taken, but it’s kewl :)

5 yrs is a long time to be in a relationship.. and the end result is a learning experience that I will keep with me forever. But as a woman who’s been in a relationship for many years and at some point was very happy and knew how to communicate w her SO (at the time)…. At the end of the day regardless of my situation or anyone else’s we all know that to maintain a healthy relationship it is all about communication… this comes with experience and maturity…. You can’t go around asking every tom dick and harry how to handel your business at home… YOu just handle it… When it comes to matters between a a man and a woman comunication is the key… b/c at the end of the day if you’re not talking and he’s not talking… What do you have left… I’ve been there and I don’t need a license to tell me how to converse with my SO…. :)

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:29 pm

Cee

I am not a big fried chicken fan in the first place. I grew up cleaning up the the Atlanta Motor Speedway and I picked up countless Colonel’s buckets. It turned me off from KFC, and now I eat even less fried chicken. It wasn’t good for my football workouts either.

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
1:30 pm

Last I checked, I was not Tom, Dick or Harry. LOL!

It’s all good, Young One. No love lost here.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:31 pm

PoppaG Cee and/or Cemeeli has been only ONE. I was a “Maid” of honor…some days i still feel like it too.

I will not be “sole” planner of something that he and i both will be the guest of honor…Nope…i’m more interesting in gifts…lol.

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
1:32 pm

Goldie and Kurt’s??

who are they?

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:33 pm

PG & Cee- Ya’ll don’t want to tell me about yall chicken spot??? :evil:

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
1:33 pm

Matron of honor is one of your married friends.

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:34 pm

Cee

The Church pretty much had the ceremony planned. There wasn’t much for either of us to do. The wedding party had more to learn than the bride and groom, and the church had that planned already.

We did a lot more with the reception. I definitely wanted to be apart of planning that. I had to keep that spending in check. :wink:

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:34 pm

@ Lioness – “my” Busy Bee is on MLK at the Joeseph E. Lowery intersect.

@ PoppaG – Did gravity catch up with you too? I know what you mean Popeyes and BoJangles is my friend only Mon – Friday. Lol…

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:37 pm

Leggs

Matron of honor is one of your married friends.

That is what I thought.

I guess that I’ve did learn something from attending all the Delta Sigma Theta weddings that I’ve accompanied my wife :razz:

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
1:39 pm

@ SexyCool

None here either chica!! :)

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
1:41 pm

I’ve been there and I don’t need a license to tell me how to converse with my SO

no heterration in u right,Dream_n??

u jus dont like to be iced coz u got smething,albeit unsuccessful, to show for it?? :lol:

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:41 pm

Cee

Bojangles and Popeyes are in the same league as the Varsity when it comes to grease. I used to like them. However, I cut them out of my diet a while back, and when I tried them again, all I could taste was the grease. So, I haven’t gone back. I did like they cajun shrimp, but not anymore.

I will still occasionally eat a cajun fillet biscuit from Bojangles, but that is like once every three months or so.

I eat more sandwiches and cook my own food for lunch the next day.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
1:41 pm

The only thing I planned input was the day we got married.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:43 pm

I want a small wedding & a off the HOOK reception.. Might not mind a hangover for the flight to our honeymoon destination :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
1:45 pm

What’s the difference between Goldie and Kurt’s relationship as opposed to someone who is married….

God don’t honor Goldie and Kurt’s setup.

Matron – married
Maid – single

STOP HATIN you sound like a SHIM

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:46 pm

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
1:46 pm

Who got his man panties in a bunch today?

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
1:47 pm

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
1:48 pm

@ Melo SMH LOL

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
1:48 pm

Dream_n She/Him…combined

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:49 pm

It’s all grease…Popeyes, BoJangles, Zax, Chic-fil-a, the soul food spot ’round the corna…Jus always practice moderation when enjoying those leisures.

PoppaG cranberry/ruby/scarlet/garnet/crimson<– all that run a gamut when attending a Delta or Kappa weddings…

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:50 pm

Main- Hims missing the MENS.. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Him must not know that a lot of ppl are dealing with the baby Katrina type situation going on out here & could care LESS about this blog.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
1:51 pm

oh… hold on was the comment for me :)

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:52 pm

Cee

For me., for me not eating much fried chicken, has more to do with me not wanting an angioplasty. One of my former coaches had one years ago, and it stuck with me. He was not an overweight man. His arteries and veins were clogged with that mess. It caused a heart attack. Frying in Vegetable and Canola oil are better than lard, but it still isn’t good for us.

Furthermore, both of my grandfathers died from heart attacks. Neither of them were very big men. One was tall and other other wasn’t very tall. Both were so skinny that they didn’t need umbrellas because they could dodge the rain drops. It was their eating habits that did them in. (and the cigars and cigarettes)

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
1:55 pm

LionessMain- Hims missing the MENS.. Him must not know that a lot of ppl are dealing with the baby Katrina type situation going on out here & could care LESS about this blog.

I know right….girl he was probably counting on reading his favs today too…

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:56 pm

Cee

PoppaG cranberry/ruby/scarlet/garnet/crimson<– all that run a gamut when attending a Delta or Kappa weddings…

Tell me about it. Once I made the mistake of wearing a pink shirt with one of my navy suits to a Delta Wedding. I got call out for wearing “watered down red” to a DST wedding so many times during the reception. :razz:

I also was told that the It looked good though. :grin:

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
1:56 pm

Extra virgin olive oil, canola, peanut oil…are better oils to work with

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:57 pm

@ PoppaG i feel ALL ‘at wish you could be a fly on the wall for a few folks that i know who overindulge…but imma enjoy fried chicken and fish until i die…like i said in moderation.

I’m healthy and not in jeporady of health issues from my diet thank God, so i guess i can ride that wave/ride until it breaks…IF it breaks.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:57 pm

Angie

September 23rd, 2009
1:57 pm

happy hump day!

Compelling

September 23rd, 2009
1:58 pm

No Dream_n, it was about that clown from earlier with his random tirade.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:58 pm

Tobacco companies make soooo much money to legally kill ppl..

Kym-likes the Geeks :-)

September 23rd, 2009
1:58 pm

Whats the topic now folks?

Compelling

September 23rd, 2009
1:59 pm

LOL @ Ms. Main….reading his favs. *Giggles* :-)

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:00 pm

Cemeeli Joseph E Lowery is what street now?

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:00 pm

Sorry I asked that backwards. What was the former name of J.E.L.?

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:01 pm

matta fact my Doc wants me to incorporate beef in my diet…a burger now and then too.

…ugh…if that is the sleeping pill for me!…

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:02 pm

Kym, Poppa being the Biggest Loser.

LOL

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:02 pm

Cee

I know that moderation is key. Just for me, I know that my family history puts me a bigger risks for certain things. So, I have to be careful.

On another note (but kinda similar), I went to a birthday party this weekend where the birthday guy wanted Krispy Kremes instead of a cake. So, everyone got football shaped doughnuts from Krispy Kreme in Tennessee Volunteer colors.

My wife wasn’t happy at all. Krispy Kreme is like her kryptonite.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:04 pm

…. it was Asby St. back in the day.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:05 pm

football shaped doughnuts from Krispy Kreme in Tennessee Volunteer colors

I like that. Things that make you hmmm.

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
2:05 pm

what about sex…….ladies can sex still be good without you “bustin” one????? one gal said yes, but I’on know myself…..methinks that’s the prize you’re aiming for….

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:05 pm

Raqi – I proably will lose more weight. Honestly, I really don’t want to. I want to gain some more muscle. I just got some new boxing gloves last week.

I was shopping for the wife’s birthday gift, but found that boxing gloves that called my name

I got her a pair too. :grin:

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:06 pm

That’s what I thought Cemeeli but wasn’t sure. I was just trying to place the area you were talking about.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:06 pm

we get a KK delivery here i the dept. almost every Friday morning. I come in mean muggin cause they buy enough for folks to have 1/2 dozen per person.

I can see kryptonite…

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:08 pm

Yes 2CPTG. That prize is most awesome, but yes for me it can be. Depending on the day and my desire and my mood.

Kym-likes the Geeks :-)

September 23rd, 2009
2:09 pm

Krispy Kreme has football shaped doughnuts..Get Out!!!

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:10 pm

Joseph E. Lowery was Ashby
MLK was Hunter Street
Joseph Boone Boulevard was Simpson Street
Abernathy was Gordon Street

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_former_Atlanta_street_names

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
2:10 pm

2CPTG??? :mrgreen: :evil:

can we go jus go at least one day without talking about the evil wrd??

how about luv instead??

Have u checked nandos yet in DC??

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
2:10 pm

I was just curious……cause one night…..what had happen was………… :)

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:10 pm

PG- As long as you got her a pair too :)

Cee- Nothing wrong with sin on Friday’s.. I LOVE those doughnuts

Raqi- I agree w/ ur 2:08

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:12 pm

Cemeeli and Poppa before the baby I used to bring in Dunkin Donuts every Monday morning for those we get in around the same time I do. One of guys asked me when I was going to start bringing them again but can I do Krispies instead. Uh no. I am going to do Einstein Bagels when and if I care to make the trip.

Donuts are the devils work.

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:13 pm

Kym

Krispy Kreme has football shaped doughnuts..Get Out!!!

yes they do.

They’ve done for the past few years. They will make them in the team colors that you request.

School related- I surprisingly like Wills, Trust, and Estates. I like it so much that I have given it the nickname of “Stiffs and their gifts”

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:14 pm

PG- I like it so much that I have given it the nickname of “Stiffs and their gifts”<– You are DEAD AZZ WRONG!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Kym-likes the Geeks :-)

September 23rd, 2009
2:15 pm

I think when I go to the fair I might seek out one of those Krispy Kreme Doughnut burgers..with cheese. I saw Paula Deen make one, I know this minor league team sells them, and I swore I saw a guy with one last year.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:15 pm

@ Lioness – ‘course not! That’s why i’ve said “moderation” for the world to read it.

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:15 pm

They only make the football doughnuts during football season….

Doughnuts are the work of Satan.

I had a honey wheat bagel from Einstein’s this morning after leaving the gym.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
2:17 pm

We used to get Dunkin Doughnuts or McDonald’s every day for breakfast here….

I agree no good can come from eating that junk food.. (but i still do) :)

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:17 pm

@ Raqi – These folks bring in Einteins, Panera, AND KK doughnuts…like we starve around here.

If you visit this spot on any given day you’d think we ran a snack shop on our floor…

Wise Diva

September 23rd, 2009
2:19 pm

see, now “Stop hating” you are in the blog penalty box! *smh* engage in a real debate, telling folks to stop talking doesn’t exactly advance dialogue, ha!

Kym-likes the Geeks :-)

September 23rd, 2009
2:19 pm

Poppa-Stiffs and gifts–I like it! I think we touch a bit on that in Family Law. Right now its all about divorce and jurisdiction. I really like Bankruptcy law..some how I find all of these depressing life event classes very enlightening.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:20 pm

@ 2C – what’s a “bustin”?…

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
2:20 pm

ladies can sex still be good without you “bustin” one?????

but 2CPTG
if she saying’uggh baby,right there babe,ugh, u the best,ughh,oh my god….!”", how can she turn around and then say she didnt enjoy even if she didnt get there??

I think women have this thing about neeeeeeeeding aaaaaaall the time..it doint matter how happy they are.

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
2:20 pm

Krispy Kreme is Kryptonite – ~lmao~ – they do come in a GREEN and white box.

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:20 pm

Lioness

I did get her a pair of gloves, too.
Also, I actually went to Macys and bought her suit for the job. I think that she was more shocked about the suit than the gloves. I got the suit instead of getting her a giftcard. I even bought some boots to go with the suit.

I got the thumbs up from her!!

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:23 pm

Now 2CPTG that don’t mean it’s alright for you to jump on on top her, do yo bizness and be out MISTA.

If that’s what had happened.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:24 pm

PG- I bet she was!!! You get a thumbs up from me too :razz:

For Real

September 23rd, 2009
2:25 pm

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:25 pm

Cemeeli I love Einsteins but you with my condition I have refrain from eating too many. Not to mention bread is fattening. But yeah I lovez me some Einstein.

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:27 pm

I will say that after shopping for women’s clothes (thanks to the ladies at Macys at Lenox for helping me because I probably looked lost in there), it seems that a lot of women’s clothing is dry clean only!! That kinda got on my nerves.

Tazzee

September 23rd, 2009
2:27 pm

Afternoon folks!

No training when I was young for me. As a matter of fact, my mother used to tell me I didn’t need to learn how to cook and clean because I would probably have a maid. My grandmother didn’t press me on cleaning as much because my grades were so good. When I got older and started thinking that I would be a wife and mother one day, I would hang around and/or watch wives and mothers. I would be my friend’s assistant while cooking Thanksgiving dinner – stuff like that. Most of this happened in my late 20s and early 30s and one day I just gave up and realized that I would never be June Cleaver.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:28 pm

Raqi- What do you love from that place?

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:28 pm

Good asiago and grain bagel with veggie cream cheese Raqi for 1/2 is very filling. Lot of bread like you said.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:29 pm

@ Lioness – You hungry? :)

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:29 pm

Taz- Can you cook?

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:30 pm

Cee- No chica.. Just had some curry goat & chocolate chip cookies w/ milk ;)

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
2:30 pm

Cee, what color bus YOU rode this mornin’?

Nah, Raqi didn’t happen quite like that…….then again, she may have, that ‘yak had ya boy feelin quite lovely….

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
2:30 pm

Is everyone over 30 on the blog?

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:31 pm

I took some fresh rosemary, basil, and thyme from my garden to the office and left it out for the co-workers. It was gone with a quickness.

My mom came the house last weekend for some of my green tomatoes. She was gonna make some fried green tomatoes for some friends that were coming by her house.

I feel like I should start selling some of that stuff.

I used some basil last night in a scallop bowtie pasta dish for dinner.

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
2:33 pm

wait a minute Tazz…….see, yeah, I still got a bone to pick with you!!!! You cain’t cook and you talkin bout……..gal holla at me ASAP….

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:33 pm

….wooooow, did 2C jus call me “spesha”?

thought i asked a valid question…

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:34 pm

Dream- Safe to ASSUME so.. I am..

For Real

September 23rd, 2009
2:34 pm

curry goat & chocolate chip cookies w/ milk = poot, squirt, squirt, poot, fart, Splash!!!

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
2:35 pm

Cee…ask yo “old man”!

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:35 pm

Lion I usually get a plain bagel with strawberry cc or cinnamon raisin by itself.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:35 pm

For Real- Only you to think that way.. My system isn’t jack like that ;)

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:37 pm

Raqi- Oh ok.. You a bagel girl :) I used to LOVE them growing up..

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:37 pm

For Real

curry goat & chocolate chip cookies w/ milk = poot, squirt, squirt, poot, fart, Splash!!!

I agree. She better carry 2 pairs of extra panties in her purse. :lol:

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:39 pm

I didn’t eat them together you fools! I am not lactose intolerant either.. Men and their sh!tty minds.. LAWD

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:39 pm

Cee bustin’ begins with an “O” and ends with a “sweet jezuz”. j/k

rGasm.

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:39 pm

My wife is a NYer and she loves english muffins and bagels. I still don’t care for english muffins, but I like fresh bagels (like Einsteins or Panera – but can stand the store bought Thomas Bagels).

I had a bagel and lox for breakfast.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:40 pm

i will ask him…tho’ i thought valid points/questions can be said/discussed in a forum…a “dating” forum no less.

Maybe luv is a better venture of dialogue, like zulu said.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:41 pm

I am NOT a breafast food person at all!! Really not into feeling full in the morning..

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:43 pm

thanks Raqi.

Naw my old man doesn’t have to explain that…we give and take…wont always be onesided.

MsM

September 23rd, 2009
2:45 pm

what about sex…….ladies can sex still be good without you “bustin” one????? one gal said yes, but I’on know myself…..methinks that’s the prize you’re aiming for…

While a woman may not bust one all the time, intimacy and knowing that your partner is completely satisfied, satisfies you (read: sometime its mental).

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
2:46 pm

Is everyone over 30 on the blog?

YES,go ahead Dream_n and tell us what heppen wit u and ur scratcher las nite.

for ur info,after 1.oo oclock eve day,the R as in R-Kelly stuff is when u bring it!

u got the floor now!

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:48 pm

Melo- for ur info,after 1.oo oclock eve day,the R as in R-Kelly stuff is when u bring it!<– You are a PLUM TAIL FOOL!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
2:48 pm

Really not into feeling full in the morning……

Merning desireeee (that song) :lol:

For Real

September 23rd, 2009
2:49 pm

What’s the difference between toast and bagels?

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:49 pm

As for training camp, I’ve been blessed to have parents that have been married for over 40 yrs. I’ve seen them in good time, bad times, and in between.

I got my training though observing for how both should work towards a common goal. They didn’t always agree but remained respectful (at least in front of us) of each other.

Much like Infamous DK, my dad isn’t one for showing emotions. I didn’t really hear “I love you” from him much growing up, but now he seems to say it all of the time. The hardest thing that I have had to do is tell him that his mom died. I was in the hospital room when she died and he went out for a quick bite and she died during that time. He stayed by her side for weeks and still missed her last breath. He didn’t cry in front of me…he actually told me that it was a relief that she was out of her misery.

So things like that had a big part in shaping me into who I am, but I learned a bit on my own too through life experience.

For Real

September 23rd, 2009
2:51 pm

Really not into feeling full in the morning.. = just stick the head in

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:51 pm

That’s it MsM, Intimacy. It’s a totally different feeling than bustin’ one. And the feeling last longer.

But that prize he speak of can still be awesome. LOL

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:52 pm

I guess I asked for that..

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:52 pm

@ PoppaG – You bout a dozen or two Krispy Kremes late, bruh!

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:53 pm

Do you realize that the majority of this years college freshman class was born in 1991? That means that they don’t really know what life was like before the internet. By 1996 (their 5 birthdays) it was up and running pretty decently. They ware used to getting information quickly and may have problem with patience and other things.

Working hard and long for certain goals may be an issue for some of them because they won’t really be used to waiting for things.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:53 pm

ForReal I didn’t hear a “ziiiiippppp”. You must standing there nekkid.

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
2:54 pm

She better carry 2 pairs of extra panties in her purse

do ladies do that on the regular tho,2 panties jus in case??

my queen carried another dress the other satrday when we attended the wedding reception.

I asked,”whats that for”

well,her dress was hugging her butt real tight and she says,”jus in case”
maaaayne,i felt sorry for those guys in the room who were stealing looks to size her butt.it was kinda like real out,out there behind! ….

thats when i seem not to pay attn to whats goin’ on,but scratch & fondle her butt,jus fo show! :lol:

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
2:56 pm

scratch & fondle her butt,jus fo show<– Was her butt itching?? GROSS!!

abc

September 23rd, 2009
2:58 pm

There are more to sensuous physical pleasures than “bustin’ one”. To approach sex as a race to the “bustin’ one” finish line is to miss out on what’s really good about it. It’s an approach suitable for 18 year olds.

For that matter, one can have intense intimacy with their clothes on. Intimacy is not about sex, per se.

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
3:00 pm

What’s the difference between toast and bagels?

get a girl and tell her,”bed,bagels,toast and breakfast at my house”

if she agrees,go to publix and buy the eggs and bagels,ready for the show and store in ur kitchen.

The answer to ur qstion comes:

the morning after,assuming u perfom! :lol: :lol:

abc

September 23rd, 2009
3:01 pm

The flip side, Poppa, is that youngsters these days haven’t a clue as to how technology really works, such as those of us first exposed in the 1970’s and 80’s do — we had to know how to build computers and networks and make them work, because nobody else knew how. The term “computer literacy” has completely disappeared from the lexicon. If someone can surf and email, and play a couple of games, they figure they’re good. It’s kind of a shame.

STOP H8TIN ON ATTENCHION OHSSSS

September 23rd, 2009
3:04 pm

DONT YOU SEE YOU CACKLING BROADS RAN AWAY ALL THE REGULAR GUYS!?!?!?

IT IS VERY SAD BECAUSE YOU GUYS THINK YOU KNOW SO DAMN MUCH. ALWAYS RUNNING YOUR DAMN MOUTHS. KEEP THEM SHUT FOR ONCE! YOU TALK TOO MUCH

SHUT UP WISE DIVO….THATS YOUR PROBLEM..LEARN THAT YOU DO NOT WEAR THE PANTS OR HAVE THE BALLS IN THE RELATIONSHIP. YOU AND THAT ALLEY CAT ARED!!!

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
3:04 pm

my boss calls me “dear”…

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
3:04 pm

abc – Every now and then (not often), I agree with yu wholeheartedly. To your 258p, my applause.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
3:06 pm

I-20 Westside re-opened

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:07 pm

ALLEY CAT ARED<– :shock:

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
3:08 pm

abc

That is right. Many kids would not what to do with a something a simple as a sound card. Geek Squad gets paid.

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
3:10 pm

AttentionDude – Today, I will take you on. On second thought, continue. You entertain me.

mytw♥cents... Still Standing

September 23rd, 2009
3:10 pm

Do mytwoeyes deceive me or did IC2C sittin’ in a tree? And askin’ questions bout folks s-e-x-i-n-g! :oops:

Wise Diva

September 23rd, 2009
3:10 pm

if I shut up you won’t have a place to spew all that misdirected anger, honey. You’re welcome :)

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
3:10 pm

intense intimacy with their clothes on??

I wld never try that “intense” coz that means,”change clothes” soon after.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
3:12 pm

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:12 pm

Calling a person an “ALLEY CAT” is some deep sh!t!! I think it is worse than calling a woman a broad.. :???:

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
3:13 pm

Intimacy and Romance have become a lost art for many.

Melo if you can’t have intense intimacy without spraying your pants you need to go to training camp. :lol:

Kym-likes the Geeks :-)

September 23rd, 2009
3:13 pm

@Melo intimacy is not just naked, hot and bothered. It can be as simple as sharing the same space with the person you care for or having good convo.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
3:13 pm

okay :oops: …mytwo now i’ma try all these emoties!

thx

abc

September 23rd, 2009
3:14 pm

Yeah, Poppa, and there are less and less kids in Computer Science programs, and fewer coming out of tech schools, too. We need immigration from Europe and India just to fill available jobs. Even the ones that do come through programs like that don’t know squat about unix, cisco/juniper/3com, telco, anything with which the Internet is built. It’s okay for me personally, because it means my career life is longer, but it’s a curiosity. I don’t really know why young people aren’t that interested in technology from a perspective of how to make it work, they’re only interested in being casual consumers of it — and at that, becoming compulsive users of the most trivial aspects of it, such as Facebook and Twitter.

Thanks for the applause, SC. What, you don’t always agree with me?! You mean I’m not always right? Hmmm, you know, I’ve heard that from other people too!

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
3:14 pm

Compelling LOL @ Ms. Main….reading his favs. *Giggles*

Somebody is at it again

MsM Great answer

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
3:14 pm

Intimacy does not even have to involve touching or even talking.

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
3:15 pm

i do Raqi….intense intimacy with clothes on???

me,i doubt it…..u sure abc is mechanically able???

Tazzee

September 23rd, 2009
3:15 pm

Lioness yes, I can cook. I was trying to learn how to throw down with one of those Thanksgiving dinners. I can cook the dishes by themselves but to make it all at one time ain’t happening for me. My friend and I were in that kitchen for like 6 hours straight on Wednesday and then got up Thursday morning to do some more cooking.

2can I still don’t know why you got a beef with me, but my number ain’t changed in 11 years…can’t say the same for you, so how ’bout you holla at me ;-) Oh and I never said I caint cook, I just don’t do it on the regla…

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
3:16 pm

Oh, and I just love how someone phrased special as “specha”

mytw♥cents... Still Standing

September 23rd, 2009
3:17 pm

CEE go on and get caught up in Adult Show & Tell… blame it on the rains. Yeah-ya

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:18 pm

Taz- Ok.. You could do it! It is just about knowing how long it takes to cook each dish.. They still need to be prepared seperately :)

Kym-likes the Geeks :-)

September 23rd, 2009
3:20 pm

Companionable silence can be very intimate.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
3:20 pm

Intimacy does not even have to involve touching or even talking.

AGREE :)

@Melo.. It was just a question sheesh!!!

Angie

September 23rd, 2009
3:21 pm

while with my ex i did have that feeling . . . this is it! now i do realize that we were both in training camp. i hope he will get it right this time and i pray i will have my game tight with my next boo. this is a good thing. a wonderful thing.

you live and learn.

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
3:21 pm

y’all trippin…….fellas ya’ll know damn well when you and ya lady makin love, you ain’t stoppin til you reach ya climax…….not saying it’s the end all be all, but ya trynna get there!

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
3:22 pm

mytwo – …”dry”…<– can Adult Pictionary get that?

Dont look for the forest in case you looking for trees…k?

{{{{hugs}}}}}

DJ Demi ( DeeJaying from Slave Row......E155)

September 23rd, 2009
3:23 pm

yu ever buck a gal weh deep like a bucket draw fi yuh needle
an yuh needle can’t stitch it draw fi yuh axe
and like a cow yuh all a chop it draw fi yuh pick axe
and like a grung yuh all a dig it is like a riverside
upon di banking yuh tek it is like a bicycle so yuh hold it
and dash it now yuh wash it so yuh crash it
she a tell yuh seh yuh crabbit gal
she a beg yuh and a bawl seh fi stop it
bad man plug in and mi a move off a electric is like a basket ball
she tek time out fi vomit unuh listen to mi style
an unuh listen to mi lyrics a beenie man deh yah a drop it(a seh)

zim zimma, who got the keys to my bimmer who am i
the girls dem sugar. how can i, make love to a fellow?
in a rush, pass mi the keys to my truck who am i,
the girls dem luck. and i and i will make love to precious

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
3:23 pm

Hi Tazzee Mae Can i get one mo’ Quesadilla on Chicken, just in case i need to use the next 2 days for sick? We’ve been doing so good so far with PD off at folks jobs, might as well gon’ and go for broke til Saturday!

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
3:25 pm

Yeah Kym like sitting on the couch reading the paper on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Your legs are barely touching but not touching. Just listening to some music with the rain in the background and enjoying each other’s company.

Angie

September 23rd, 2009
3:25 pm

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:26 pm

DJ Demi- Since you are on the reggae tip, can I get some Beanie Man “The Doctor”?

Tazzee

September 23rd, 2009
3:27 pm

Lioness – I probably ‘could’ do it I just won’t be trying. Spending that much time in the kitchen is not my MO.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:27 pm

Angie

September 23rd, 2009
3:27 pm

i don’t need to reach climax. but the guy feels that if he doesn’t make me c*, that he didn’t do his job.

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
3:28 pm

Afternoon Angels!

Although my neighborhood in Cobb was hit hard, I Thank God the lake next to my loft did not crest! I am however very sad and prayerful for the students/teachers/staff that lost homes and their schools.

On Topic:
I’ve had great role models and although my mom who was the ultimate woman is deceased, to this day I still have a mentor…..because I’ve been married/divorced I have had to rethink my role as a wife….I believe if:
I love God
I love my husband
Communicate and Listen (honestly)
Not Assume Too Much
Cook Sunday Dinner (and maybe once during the week)
Take Care of myself
Laugh
…and choose him every morning that I wake…..I will make a great wife!

Ironically….I don’t want to be a trained wife just a good one.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:28 pm

Taz- I know that is RIGHT!! Does your fiance’ cook?

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
3:28 pm

Beautiful – Can’t speak to me?! Wrong! But how are you and yours? YOu are blessed with FLMA for a bit, right? Thats great…

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
3:28 pm

Kym, abc talked of “intense intimacy” not just intimacy.

we kiss,we mwa,we peck on the neck..thats not intense,jus regular intimacy.

Intense and wit clothes on??

Not sure,unless we in a public elevator.

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
3:29 pm

@ForReal ~ I thought the exact same thing (2:34). I know I couldn’t mix a lot with curry.

@Raqi ~ Donuts are evil. :wink:

@MeanPerson ~ If none of the women talk, what would make this different than a mere sporting blog if only men blogged? Isn’t this WD’s blog as a rep for AJC. How can she of all ppl shut up?

Can you be pleasured/satisfied w/o reaching the O. Yep!

Tazzee

September 23rd, 2009
3:29 pm

Cemeeli – don’t be using me to take some sick days :lol: although I wouldn’t mind hitting up South City Kitchen for some shrimp, scallops and grits….

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:30 pm

Wings- Sorry for your loss! Nice post too

Melo- LAWD

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
3:30 pm

2CPTG you asked about women, not men.

Now how many men are willing to…nevermind.

Angie

September 23rd, 2009
3:31 pm

hi Cee! i miss you girlie.

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
3:32 pm

Hi Angie….how are you today?

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:32 pm

DJ Demi ( DeeJaying from Slave Row......E155)

September 23rd, 2009
3:32 pm

…….fellas ya’ll know damn well when you and ya lady makin love, you ain’t stoppin til you reach ya climax

Neighbors bangin on the wall cause we over here
disturbin the peace, baby be easy
Rockin the bed so hard we done kicked off
all tha sheets, don’t worry we don’t need em
A couple hours in the session we done been
through bout four CDs (about four CDs)
Keith Sweat, Mary J, Brian McKnight, and Jodeci
(They love Jodeci)
By the way look think I need a couple can of energy drinks
(yeah I’m gone need em)

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
3:33 pm

So Melo your views are intimacy can only be passionate, fierce, powerful when it results in you skeeting babies.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
3:34 pm

Tazzee Mae – I know right? Shoot i’d meet you tonight! don’t play! Ya girl is always up for…we’ll you know by now…

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
3:35 pm

Hey Lioness – Thanks sis! It’s all of our loss…right.

Everybody else – y’all so nasty….:)

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
3:36 pm

Tazzee He obviously is not there for your meals/cooking. Auh…you know what i say.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
3:37 pm

Is that true 2CPTG? Guys can only feel a sense of passion and intimacy when it results in bustin’.

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
3:37 pm

Now how many men are willing to…nevermind….

some days when she has run out on her pill,she wants it but will say to me,”please withdraw when u get there”"…

i dont do that tho..what happens inside stays and gets finished inside….ughhh ugghh to the finish! :lol:

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:39 pm

ABSOLUTELY GROSS MELO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TMI, TM MFING I

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
3:39 pm

@Melo, I am truly LOL at you. No one really says those words anymore do they? However, your Las Vegas motto is funny!

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
3:39 pm

Hey Demi – I have a request…can you play something sexy?( while I cross my legs and order a pomegranate martini in the blog lounge)

Tazzee

September 23rd, 2009
3:39 pm

Lioness – yes, he can cook but neither of us cooks regularly due to our work hours.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:40 pm

Wings- It is all of our loss!! I LOVE those martinis! Smirnoff has a pre-made one that is yummy

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
3:41 pm

Ready to let my hair down and it taint even Friday…….

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
3:42 pm

absolutely not, Raqi, but if we start, better believe we gon finish!!! I’m not talking about intimacy, I’m talkin about sex…….petting, cuddling, and all that, to me, is initimacy…..but when we get nekkid, the goal is to Bust!

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
3:43 pm

Melo that is not what I was going to ask. Heck if you are in you may as well finish.

I was asking are you willing to give her and you get nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Dry at bone.

Or for you is it “I’m not interested if I can’t get mine”?

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
3:45 pm

ur views are intimacy can only be passionate, fierce, powerful when it results in you skeeting babies

when i kiss her Raqi,thats passionate,thats powerful and luving…

when i wing my neck to smell her back and neck,thats passionate…poweful too i wld think

Intense….?? i wldnt descibe that action as such…..

Intense is when im frolicking…shuffling stuff,kicking my boxers wit my toe nails and sliding my index inside hers,thats intense.

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
3:47 pm

…watching Melo, Raqi and 2C hemmed up in the corner…………..watch out gurl…

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
3:47 pm

DJ Demi ( DeeJaying from Slave Row......E155)

September 23rd, 2009
3:49 pm

Everybody else – y’all so nasty….:)

DON’T STOP…GETTY GETTY…DON’T STOP…GETTY GETTY

WING…

Gurl…LET ME RIDE THAT DONKEY DON-KAY!!!!

Ladies…Please DO NOT STEP on my dance floor…

Unless you’ve got buns, hun

Note: Demi just like women period.

Now Dial 1-900-Fu-a-Demi
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
3:49 pm

but when we get nekkid, the goal is to Bust

2CPTG just sex, then yeah that is quite often the end goal.

But intimacy, making love, bonding, sharing…another Oprah. But that is where most women and men differ in those 4 I think.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:49 pm

kicking my boxers wit my toe nails<– Ri DAMN di cu lous!!!

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
3:49 pm

I was asking are you willing to give her and you get nothing

Nothing?? becoz my johnson has an STD….??

i go down there to pleasure her and myself and not jus for her to go off.I go there,best believe im getting real stiff too….

And me??..ME DRY???

u kidding me right??
i wldnt do that even if i was being paid.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
3:51 pm

Watermelon Martini/ Daquiris/ and Watermelon Bacardi Silver (wine coolers) are the best ….

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:51 pm

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:51 pm

LOL @ wine coolers.. Haven’t had one of THOSE in eons..

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
3:53 pm

So Melo you are unable to give your wife without getting something in return.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
3:54 pm

“Peter and Jane” are still good story lines/books to read…

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
3:55 pm

Raqi, I do remember doin’ it so long til she got dry, and I just stopped……told her she owed me one, though!

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
3:56 pm

…..don’t stop get it get it……ooooo ( backin’ that thang up like a tonka truck ) Can I get another Tini pleeze… Go Demi that’s my Dj………

DJ Demi ( DeeJaying from Slave Row......E155)

September 23rd, 2009
3:57 pm

Wings…sorry beh, today is Hump Day for real…fo reel

Sweat-sweat-sweat-sweat-sweat
Get you really wet
Girl I’ve got just what you want
To leave your body soaking wet.

Gal send it on fire
Let’s blaze it up higher
I want yours melt on mine
Put your body next to mine
You know I’ve got desire
You’re flaming like the fire… fire…

Sweat-sweat-sweat-sweat-sweat
Get you really wet
Girl I’ve got just what you want
To leave your body soaking wet

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
3:58 pm

No one has mentioned it here, but Macy Gray looks like a lumberjack…there I said it. She has guts, though!

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
3:58 pm

Okay Dream n – Hey girl I see you !

Deeva4Life

September 23rd, 2009
3:59 pm

I do remember doin’ it so long til she got dry, and I just stopped……told her she owed me one, though!

LMAO…that was funny to me!! :) ) Men…you gotta love’em.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
3:59 pm

2C- I do remember doin’ it so long til she got dry, and I just stopped<– You probably weren't as exciting as she wanted you to be..

Angie

September 23rd, 2009
3:59 pm

@2C

is it true? you’re in CA?

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
3:59 pm

@ Lioness..

I started with really hard stuff.. but found out i’m a lite weight… a wine cooler will do…. :)

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:00 pm

@Lioness – LMAO – wine coolers – they use to get the job done!

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:00 pm

Leggs- You are RONG!!!

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
4:00 pm

you are unable to give your wife without getting something in return.

unable?? wldnt use that verb….(is it a verb)

but NO,our sex acts are all mutually interractive, inclusive and mutually satisfying,bed,dinner,breakfast and then clean up time!

U GO OFF, I GO OFF! :lol:

Wise Diva

September 23rd, 2009
4:01 pm

Oh Melo *sigh*

Angie

September 23rd, 2009
4:01 pm

i got dry one time. dude and i had no sex chemistry. he was phine as wine, but he could not put it down right!

Wise Diva

September 23rd, 2009
4:01 pm

I think you and your wife need your own reality tv show Melo. LOL

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
4:01 pm

@ Wings
Hey girl!

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
4:01 pm

@2C is it true? you’re in CA?

uh uh

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
4:02 pm

I’ve been held so long my thighs ached…for days. I never told him either. It was even getting painful during….he just kept saying I’m just taking my time….stamina to say the least.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
4:03 pm

thump 2CPTG are you willing to stay dry but give her is what I am asking?

It seems like Melo’s entire “intimate” relationship is based on him, his wants and needs. She can’t get hers unless is “up” for getting his. I couldn’t be in a relationship like that.

Mr. Zulu is female ‘circumcision’ common where you come from? You don’t have to answer that because I know it is quite personal.

Angie

September 23rd, 2009
4:03 pm

that was like 20 yrs ago. he had a tight a$$ ‘68 mustang.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
4:03 pm

No one has mentioned it here, but Macy Gray looks like a lumberjack…there I said it. She has guts, though!

that’s mean… :)

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:03 pm

Dream- Glad you know what works for you!! I know ppl to the DAY that still get tow up to the point they look like a frigging idiot and I am puzzled as to why they haven’t found out that drinking may not be for them :???:

Wings- they use to get the job done<– When I was like 14.. :lol: :lol: I was never a drinker anyway..

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
4:03 pm

nawwww, Lioness, ain’t never had that problem…..cause I’ll have their azzes doing shyt Dominique Dawes can’t do…….never boring!

Angie, I’m not at liberty to divulge that information……unless you payin’….

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
4:04 pm

Correction, she moves like a lumberjack…I’m not one to talk about anyone’s looks!

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
4:04 pm

Wise – call me.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:05 pm

Yall ashamed to use astroglide?? It is not only for menopause folks..

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:06 pm

Melo just turned the VIP section into Trapeze…..lawd a mercy….

Angie

September 23rd, 2009
4:06 pm

@2C

lol. ok. i wasn’t tryin’ to see you cause we both know that’s a bad idea. lol. jus wonderin’ were you enjoying your visit.

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
4:07 pm

and yes, Raqi, there have been times when it was strictly all about her…….ever have a dude tell you his tongue pallet was sore?????

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
4:08 pm

Why would that be a bad idea if you two saw each other? Sound like Mr. and Mrs. Smith hitmen!

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
4:09 pm

It seems like Melo’s entire “intimate” relationship is based on him

weoll done for flipping it….

u want ur man Raqi, to do u while he gets nothing in return…

but now its me who is being selfish coz our acts are 2 party particfipatory…
BUT NOT U…

is it not funny how u look at it…???? LMAO

only a woman can have that kinda of logic…

give it to me only if not ur slefish!

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:10 pm

C2 – WTF? LOL That’s dedication

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
4:10 pm

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
4:11 pm

NO but I have a dude that grabs his bottle of water and his sexetension and works it out for men when I need it.

Aaaaannnd I just went too far.

What are you all doing for Christmas?

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
4:12 pm

female circumcission is common among moslem folk.
try kenya, or east african countries….

u gotta find a negative to win an argument…black folk??

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
4:12 pm

@ Lioness – Astroglide? Girl some are to ripe for it anyway….but for those that cain’t…there’s help.

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
4:14 pm

Angie, quit playin gal……….cause you and I both know what the business would be if we saw each other……what, try me!

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
4:14 pm

tongue pallet was sore

? lmbo!!!!!

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
4:15 pm

Now how about this low life talking about a consentual perveted sexual relationship with her Dad…

now thats some Oprah!!

Host with the Most

September 23rd, 2009
4:15 pm

Poppa Grande’s assumption about Oceanaire could’nt be further from the truth. We just signed a new lease and looking forward to the regentrification of Mid-Town ATL! LONG LIVE THE OCEANAIRE!
Stop on by and see what’s cooking tonight!

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
4:15 pm

@ Tazzee – Wine Coolers? That’s what i’d had…was that you in the convo…it think.

@ Wings – Did you mean 2C?

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
4:16 pm

want ur man Raqi, to do u while he gets nothing in return

Melo it is needful sometimes. And yes it is selfish if she always have to be in sync with you to get what she needs. Or else she gets nothing.

Demi

September 23rd, 2009
4:16 pm

ever have a dude tell you his tongue pallet was sore

HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLZ NAWWWWWWW

lol

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
4:18 pm

works it out for men LMAO. That’s what I get for being mean to Melo. LOL

ME not men.

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
4:18 pm

Cee…..Wings started visualizing that image and got all flustered…..like damn, “where they do that at?”

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:19 pm

2C- ever have a dude tell you his tongue pallet was sore?????<– Due to lack of experience..

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
4:20 pm

Why would you call her a low life. She seemed trouble during her television years but I’m sure if we dig deep enough we can find the root. Maybe we’ll start with your dad doing you.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
4:20 pm

Comical…i promise.

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
4:20 pm

lack of experience???????? gal, I’ve been layin’ it down since “hide and go get”!!!!

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:21 pm

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
4:21 pm

Okay, if consentual that is nasty (if it ain’t it’s still nasty) and low life-ish

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
4:22 pm

And yes it is selfish if she always have to be in sync with you to get what she needs.

i see,still the focus is on her….

hw about me?

i wld neva want top enjoy it my slef,alone,if she not in the mood herslef.

so i neva ask her to bone me jus so i can go off…

feel me??

here is our play book,RAQI:MELO BEDROOM

u want it,i want it,we play…THEN SOME..THEN SOME!

CLEANNNNN UP!!

u want it, i dont,we forego..sleep

i want it,u dont,we forego..sleep

we in sync!
THE END

Tazzee

September 23rd, 2009
4:22 pm

Cemeeli – I don’t recall ANY convo with you drinking anything with a smidgen of alcohol. Although I wish it was me. :lol:

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:22 pm

Cee & 2C – I got discombobulated………….no more tini’s for me!

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
4:22 pm

Due to lack of experience..?????????????????

Or maybe from going the distance FOR YOU. It ain’t about him. It’s about where you are at the time, sometimes.

Let me stop. WiseDiva what are we talking about tomorrow. :lol:

I’m I off tomorrow? Dang I need to check.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
4:23 pm

2C Are you in Canada? They say high plains do wonders…

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:25 pm

The same sh* all the time gets boring and won’t be enough to please your mate. That may be the reason for the sore mouth thingy

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
4:25 pm

Maybe we’ll start with your dad doing you

U lost me there Ms Main…

u mean sleeping with ur dad is not pervetted??

i thoght u were talking this morning about not giving ple excuses…

wrong is wrong

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
4:26 pm

if he is lacking experience………then, I guess you need to enroll him in y’all training camp!

Wise Diva

September 23rd, 2009
4:27 pm

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
4:27 pm

Lioness…..ain’t that what training camp is for…..to master the play book!

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
4:28 pm

@ Tazzee – It wasnt’ recent it was back in college days. I had a 4pack f cooler during Daytona and I was knocked out like a light. I think i missed most of that nights activities…

I thought i was sharing that with you.

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
4:29 pm

Melo I never said neither was wrong. I asked what’s up with calling her a low life. And yes, if she consented she’s just as much at fault but who’s the more responsible? Parent or child. That was my point. Both nasty but he’s the parent. What the heck was he thinking. There so much cooty walking around you can make a mistake and hit. Why your own child. Her being the dope head she was, wasn’t that out of it that she could dial zero (back then) and report his nasty tail. That’s all I was saying.

And no, I don’t change none of what I said this morning. I think that just backs it up. A half-azzed man screwing his daughter.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:29 pm

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
4:29 pm

Cee

Ahhh…. Wine coolers lol!!!

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:30 pm

2C – Only EXPERIENCED need apply ain’t no on the job training for that……….honey is only for the Real McDeal! Lol

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
4:30 pm

I never said neither wasn’t wrong…is what I meant.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
4:31 pm

@ Ms. Main – Say no to incest! ok! …sick-o spirits…

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:32 pm

Demi

September 23rd, 2009
4:32 pm

>>>>wet and stay wet

Night All

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
4:32 pm

Hush Dream_n! That’s why i don’t…oh nevermind! :)

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
4:32 pm

Cemeeli…igg zackly. At what point are you looking at your own offsprings and getting the willies. I hope he did his penance before crossing over.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
4:33 pm

LOL 2CPTG sometimes I chuckle to myself when I can tell someone does not realize a man or woman can have all the experience in the world but can’t get you where we you don’t allow yourself to go.

I give you and the one I know an attaboy for those sore pallets and tired tongues. LOL

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:33 pm

Wings- I agree! Training is exhausting!

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:33 pm

Ce – I just ordered you a Martini gurl………….on me…

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
4:34 pm

Wings, contrary to popular opinion, that is OJT- repetition, and constant practice!

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
4:35 pm

@ Ms. Main – You know my take on it….There was a rapper Dirty B*st*rd…hmmm.

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
4:36 pm

I just read that link….that is horrific. Ugh!

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:37 pm

2C – and then some are just gifted and it don’t take all night to make it what……….happen O!

abc

September 23rd, 2009
4:37 pm

Try a different perspective, Melo. How would you approach intimacy with your wife without sex? I mean, no intention of even having sex, no pretending, nothing sexual. Would there be no intimacy without sex?

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:38 pm

Main- That story is beyond SICK.. Not knowing if you are pregnant by your father??

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:39 pm

abc- Probably by rubbing on her tail in public..

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
4:39 pm

nope, doesn’t take all night……I’ve had 10 minutes of toe curling ecstacy, and 45 minutes of sheer boredom….so it’s all relative….

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm

@Demi, slow your roll a little.

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm

Lioness
abc- Probably by rubbing on her tail in public..

LOL

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm

She is a low lyfe Ms Main…

selling a book too and thats why she aint ashamed to come out and do Opprah.
Money….

Do u feel by saying sme about her im condoning the dad??

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm

There is nothing wrong with spontaneity, but I want who I want……not some random candy licker experimenting on honey……noooooooooo

Oh yeah I am still .............

September 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm

WISE DIVO/ GO DO SOME WORK. WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS POPPING OUT OF THE WOODWORKS EVERYTIME I POST? GET SOME BUSINESS ABOUT YOURSELF INSTEAD OF INVESTIGATING WHAT I AM SAYING!!! ITS NOT ANGER ITS ANNOYANCE…THE OTHER A! LOL!

SEXY COOL/ SWEETIE STAY OUT OF IT..IT’S FOR WISE DIVO AND ALLEY CAT RED

TO THE REST OF YOU CACKLING BROADS…SHUT UP AND LEARN TO LISTEN. YOU GUYS HAVE TURNED THIS INTO A GIRLS’ BLOG. GIVING EACH OTHER THAT DIZZY INFO…STOP IT STOP IT. STOP IT I SAY! YOU ARE DWINDLING ANY CHANCE OF FIND HIM…BECAUSE YOU GOT ALL THAT CRAP IN YOUR BRAIN FROM EACH OTHER.

WHO WANTS SOME STEP UP!??!??!STOP BLOCKING ME WISE DIVO….STOP IT NOW!

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm

DAMN bored for 45 WHOLE MINUTES??? Was something THAT good on tv that neither of you stopped that mess??

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:42 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: @ Alley Cat!!

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
4:43 pm

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:43 pm

Wings- :lol: :lol: @ candy licker!!!

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
4:44 pm

Would there be no intimacy without sex

abc, i did adress it…in case u missed it

we hold hands, we fondle,we kiss,we mwaaa,we neck peck..i go in the kitchen while she cooking at the stove and i grab her by her neck line,play wit her…

wld u call that what…..zulunacy…

i thight so..

no sexx there.

But i wldnt call that Intense.

Intense is when i feel the temp on melo jnr literally going off, blwoing off the thermo liquid in der,thats intense.

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:44 pm

A mind is a terrible thing to waste……..

Tazzee

September 23rd, 2009
4:44 pm

Cemeeli – oh yeah! I remember that convo. Bless your heart…

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
4:45 pm

just sayin’ Lioness…….example…some ‘o y’all women do’t know how to throw it back, or roll ya hips, or put ya back into it, or none of that, so the first few minutes a brutha is schoolin her…..’fore you know it, 45 minutes done rolled around….

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
4:45 pm

Melo Do u feel by saying sme about her im condoning the dad??

Not at all…you don’t strike me as such. Maybe you’re saying she’s a low life to bring out now. I think she’s a low life for allowing it to go on. I don’t think she’s a low life for telling. If it’s the truth (and who knows)…I mean really, if it’s the truth, why not (tell)? I don’t see how she can gain. I mean she may make a few bucks but she ain’t adding no stars to her already established rep of a dope head. I don’t see her trying to get kudos or anything for revealing.

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:46 pm

or is it…….A terrible thing is to waste a mind…(grammatically correct)

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:46 pm

2C- Where you meeting these “alley cats” at??

Tazzee

September 23rd, 2009
4:46 pm

2can My apologies, I JUST saw a text I received on Friday…now I see why you got beef with me. :oops: – y’all know I hate texts

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
4:47 pm

Attention – Sir. Yessir. ~laughing~

Oh yeah I am still .............

September 23rd, 2009
4:47 pm

LIONESS- YOU KNOW THAT OH IS A ALLEY CAT OLE ALLEY CAT RED…SHE IS LITTLE MISS PERFECT. YEAH RIGHT IN HER CRAZY HEAD. YALL EVER NOTICE HOW SHE IS ALWAYS RIGHT AND EVERYONE IS WRONG ABOUT HER AND WHAT SHE SAYS??

LIKE COME ON NOW YOU CAN BE WRONG!!

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:47 pm

Main & Melo- I don’t think she would be telling her story if dude was still alive.

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:48 pm

2C – Syncopation – That is the reward of rhythm that you receive when two people have chemistry……

Oh yeah I am still .............

September 23rd, 2009
4:49 pm

OH FOR THE RECORD I AM ALL WOMAN…..YES ALL WOMAN!

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
4:49 pm

Lioness, you’re probably right

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
4:49 pm

i get it Ms Main…

thats what drugs will do to u…

dad and daghter both dope heads

Lord Velonese (I'm not a Sexist or a Racist, I hate everyone equally) :)

September 23rd, 2009
4:49 pm

Ok I’ll play ball on this one. Considering I didn’t grow up with real parents, those around me always taught me “you put out good, good will come back to you” WRONG! It’s more like you try to be nice and caring and it puts a Bulls-eye on you for being taken advantage off, being made fun of, bullied, not taken seriously, and kinds of heinous things and also applies to women. No woman wants a nice guy and if you say you do you’re lying through your teeth. I’m almost convinced women want one of 3 types of men.

1. A slug, that doesn’t work and is easy to control. 2. An Abusive ass-hat that will demoralize them at every turn because some women like a “Days of our lives relationship”. 3. A rich idiot who will bend over backward for them even if the woman demoralizes the man, but hey at least she gets what she wants when she wants right?

I had the right up-bringing, but society (YOU) taught me that kindness means jack. And with that being said I see no logical reason to sell myself out to anyone for any reason. I see it only as offering myself as a slave to elites or those who believe in a pecking order. Trust me you peck on me you had best be ready for a Hell-Storm no exceptions. Even if you had the right training, what good is it when it’s never appreciated?

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
4:50 pm

Lioness, they ain’t gotta be alleycats…..shoot, you don’t know a brotha cain’t work his tool until he’s put to the test……..

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
4:50 pm

So no Shim or man panties…okay. I can believe that. Would you open tomorrow with your thoughts on the topic before any of the other ladies? Seriously. Not trying to be funny but maybe you can shed light and insight as to why we cackle too much. I look forward to it.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
4:51 pm

I couldn’t even finish reading that story… it’s a sad story for both parties…. I’m not one to judge cause my house is surely not made of glass… i just hope they both talked to god for forgiveness.. I’m done

AND ALLEY CAT RED– Ouch!!!

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:51 pm

Dude was her step dad (If I am not mistaken)

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
4:51 pm

Yes Tazzee i knew it was you i was sharing that with!

See how Dream tryna give me a tini??? South Fla always make 2 watermelon martinis when i visit her…then talking some “oh – forget you don’t divulge”..that’s okay i’ll drink both…(cute glasses too) She gave me a bottle of wine one day…it’s been re-gift already.

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
4:53 pm

Okay, then. Ma’am Yes ma’am. ~still amused as all get out~

Angie

September 23rd, 2009
4:54 pm

@2C

i did try. you got upset. we lost contact. end of story. just wanted to know if you’re having a fab time. *shrug*

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:54 pm

2C- I was just kidding about the alley cats.. I think it is harder for women to tell if a man has skills than it is for a man to tell if a woman can.. Maybe I am naive..

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:55 pm

@Lord – I do like a man who can put me in my place if I’m wrong (not abusive)
I do like a man who can tell me no (especially when I don’t need it)
I do like man who can protect/defend me ( even if I was dead wrong)

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
4:55 pm

I think I just might come back t’morrow…..y’all have a good evening, and for all y’all folks lacking in some area or another…..ain’t nuttin wrong with “continuing education” courses…peace.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
4:56 pm

Wings- Me too BUT I don’t think Lord likes men AT ALL…

Wings()

September 23rd, 2009
4:59 pm

Maybe your right sis…….oh well “Last Call” See y’all tomorrow.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
5:04 pm

strong>Oh Yeah – Who thought you were male? If a dude said “who wants some “step up”…i’m looking for his protruded pinky ‘n hand gestures…

In Ga. step-up is sumthin else.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
5:09 pm

Funny stuff today…

be safe be blessed…

Wise Diva

September 23rd, 2009
5:09 pm

Have a great evening good people. You too I hate/I’m still

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
5:10 pm

@ Tazzee – You hanging out with me tonight? My boss and other team members couldn’t get here last two days…i’m doing pacific time work…sigh…i cain’t wait to take 2 PD!

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
5:11 pm

Night WiseDiva and Dreams!

:(