Training Camp
We talked about how character traits of single parents could translate into the traits of a husband and wife on Monday. I started to think about how women are taught as children to be the nurturer. You know we get the dolls, the domestic type toys to play with and mimic our mothers. As women get older, our “natural instinct” as women is cultivated by society.
By the time we reach adulthood, we’ve basically had a lifetime of “training camp” for motherhood. I have talked to a lot of married women who say that they may not have felt prepared for marriage and family in the beginning, but it wasn’t long before they adapted. Is it because we spend our lives being groomed for the job, even when we don’t even know it?
What kind of training camp do men have for being a good mate? If a young boy is given a totally different set of toys and mimics what he sees, what has prepared him to be a father and husband? If you think about it, the traits of a “good husband” aren’t exactly heralded as positive ones for single men to have. I would even argue that men are groomed to be the exact opposite. Does that partly explain why men are aversive to marriage?
Guys, if men are taught to be hunters and providers, what or whom is teaching you about the other important traits that are needed for a relationship? Does it really come up? Do you think a lot of men “fake it till they make it” or do they work on it?
Ladies, do you think that you’ve been to a virtual “training camp” to be a good wife? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? What happens if you are missing that whole training camp background? Do you think it makes a difference on your views about love and marriage? If a guy makes a horrible boyfriend, would that make you think twice about viewing him as a viable husband candidate?
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464 comments Add your comment
Cemeeli
September 23rd, 2009
4:28 pm
@ Tazzee – It wasnt’ recent it was back in college days. I had a 4pack f cooler during Daytona and I was knocked out like a light. I think i missed most of that nights activities…
I thought i was sharing that with you.
Ms.Main
September 23rd, 2009
4:29 pm
Melo I never said neither was wrong. I asked what’s up with calling her a low life. And yes, if she consented she’s just as much at fault but who’s the more responsible? Parent or child. That was my point. Both nasty but he’s the parent. What the heck was he thinking. There so much cooty walking around you can make a mistake and hit. Why your own child. Her being the dope head she was, wasn’t that out of it that she could dial zero (back then) and report his nasty tail. That’s all I was saying.
And no, I don’t change none of what I said this morning. I think that just backs it up. A half-azzed man screwing his daughter.
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
4:29 pm
Dream_n
September 23rd, 2009
4:29 pm
Cee
Ahhh…. Wine coolers lol!!!
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
4:30 pm
2C – Only EXPERIENCED need apply ain’t no on the job training for that……….honey is only for the Real McDeal! Lol
Ms.Main
September 23rd, 2009
4:30 pm
I never said neither wasn’t wrong…is what I meant.
Cemeeli
September 23rd, 2009
4:31 pm
@ Ms. Main – Say no to incest! ok! …sick-o spirits…
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
4:32 pm
http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/TV/09/23/mackenzie.phillips.oprah/index.html
Demi
September 23rd, 2009
4:32 pm
>>>>wet and stay wet
Night All
Cemeeli
September 23rd, 2009
4:32 pm
Hush Dream_n! That’s why i don’t…oh nevermind!
Ms.Main
September 23rd, 2009
4:32 pm
Cemeeli…igg zackly. At what point are you looking at your own offsprings and getting the willies. I hope he did his penance before crossing over.
Raqi...The Good Wife?
September 23rd, 2009
4:33 pm
LOL 2CPTG sometimes I chuckle to myself when I can tell someone does not realize a man or woman can have all the experience in the world but can’t get you where we you don’t allow yourself to go.
I give you and the one I know an attaboy for those sore pallets and tired tongues. LOL
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
4:33 pm
Wings- I agree! Training is exhausting!
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
4:33 pm
Ce – I just ordered you a Martini gurl………….on me…
2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!
September 23rd, 2009
4:34 pm
Wings, contrary to popular opinion, that is OJT- repetition, and constant practice!
Cemeeli
September 23rd, 2009
4:35 pm
@ Ms. Main – You know my take on it….There was a rapper Dirty B*st*rd…hmmm.
Ms.Main
September 23rd, 2009
4:36 pm
I just read that link….that is horrific. Ugh!
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
4:37 pm
2C – and then some are just gifted and it don’t take all night to make it what……….happen O!
abc
September 23rd, 2009
4:37 pm
Try a different perspective, Melo. How would you approach intimacy with your wife without sex? I mean, no intention of even having sex, no pretending, nothing sexual. Would there be no intimacy without sex?
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
4:38 pm
Main- That story is beyond SICK.. Not knowing if you are pregnant by your father??
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
4:39 pm
abc- Probably by rubbing on her tail in public..
2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!
September 23rd, 2009
4:39 pm
nope, doesn’t take all night……I’ve had 10 minutes of toe curling ecstacy, and 45 minutes of sheer boredom….so it’s all relative….
Leggs
September 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm
@Demi, slow your roll a little.
Ms.Main
September 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm
Lioness
abc- Probably by rubbing on her tail in public..
LOL
Melo
September 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm
She is a low lyfe Ms Main…
selling a book too and thats why she aint ashamed to come out and do Opprah.
Money….
Do u feel by saying sme about her im condoning the dad??
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm
There is nothing wrong with spontaneity, but I want who I want……not some random candy licker experimenting on honey……noooooooooo
Oh yeah I am still .............
September 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm
WISE DIVO/ GO DO SOME WORK. WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS POPPING OUT OF THE WOODWORKS EVERYTIME I POST? GET SOME BUSINESS ABOUT YOURSELF INSTEAD OF INVESTIGATING WHAT I AM SAYING!!! ITS NOT ANGER ITS ANNOYANCE…THE OTHER A! LOL!
SEXY COOL/ SWEETIE STAY OUT OF IT..IT’S FOR WISE DIVO AND ALLEY CAT RED
TO THE REST OF YOU CACKLING BROADS…SHUT UP AND LEARN TO LISTEN. YOU GUYS HAVE TURNED THIS INTO A GIRLS’ BLOG. GIVING EACH OTHER THAT DIZZY INFO…STOP IT STOP IT. STOP IT I SAY! YOU ARE DWINDLING ANY CHANCE OF FIND HIM…BECAUSE YOU GOT ALL THAT CRAP IN YOUR BRAIN FROM EACH OTHER.
WHO WANTS SOME STEP UP!??!??!STOP BLOCKING ME WISE DIVO….STOP IT NOW!
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
4:40 pm
DAMN bored for 45 WHOLE MINUTES??? Was something THAT good on tv that neither of you stopped that mess??
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
4:42 pm
Leggs
September 23rd, 2009
4:43 pm
Gd nite!
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
4:43 pm
Wings-
@ candy licker!!!
Melo
September 23rd, 2009
4:44 pm
Would there be no intimacy without sex
abc, i did adress it…in case u missed it
we hold hands, we fondle,we kiss,we mwaaa,we neck peck..i go in the kitchen while she cooking at the stove and i grab her by her neck line,play wit her…
wld u call that what…..zulunacy…
i thight so..
no sexx there.
But i wldnt call that Intense.
Intense is when i feel the temp on melo jnr literally going off, blwoing off the thermo liquid in der,thats intense.
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
4:44 pm
A mind is a terrible thing to waste……..
Tazzee
September 23rd, 2009
4:44 pm
Cemeeli – oh yeah! I remember that convo. Bless your heart…
2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!
September 23rd, 2009
4:45 pm
just sayin’ Lioness…….example…some ‘o y’all women do’t know how to throw it back, or roll ya hips, or put ya back into it, or none of that, so the first few minutes a brutha is schoolin her…..’fore you know it, 45 minutes done rolled around….
Ms.Main
September 23rd, 2009
4:45 pm
Melo Do u feel by saying sme about her im condoning the dad??
Not at all…you don’t strike me as such. Maybe you’re saying she’s a low life to bring out now. I think she’s a low life for allowing it to go on. I don’t think she’s a low life for telling. If it’s the truth (and who knows)…I mean really, if it’s the truth, why not (tell)? I don’t see how she can gain. I mean she may make a few bucks but she ain’t adding no stars to her already established rep of a dope head. I don’t see her trying to get kudos or anything for revealing.
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
4:46 pm
or is it…….A terrible thing is to waste a mind…(grammatically correct)
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
4:46 pm
2C- Where you meeting these “alley cats” at??
Tazzee
September 23rd, 2009
4:46 pm
2can My apologies, I JUST saw a text I received on Friday…now I see why you got beef with me.
– y’all know I hate texts
SexyCool.........That is all.
September 23rd, 2009
4:47 pm
Attention – Sir. Yessir. ~laughing~
Oh yeah I am still .............
September 23rd, 2009
4:47 pm
LIONESS- YOU KNOW THAT OH IS A ALLEY CAT OLE ALLEY CAT RED…SHE IS LITTLE MISS PERFECT. YEAH RIGHT IN HER CRAZY HEAD. YALL EVER NOTICE HOW SHE IS ALWAYS RIGHT AND EVERYONE IS WRONG ABOUT HER AND WHAT SHE SAYS??
LIKE COME ON NOW YOU CAN BE WRONG!!
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
4:47 pm
Main & Melo- I don’t think she would be telling her story if dude was still alive.
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
4:48 pm
2C – Syncopation – That is the reward of rhythm that you receive when two people have chemistry……
Oh yeah I am still .............
September 23rd, 2009
4:49 pm
OH FOR THE RECORD I AM ALL WOMAN…..YES ALL WOMAN!
Ms.Main
September 23rd, 2009
4:49 pm
Lioness, you’re probably right
Melo
September 23rd, 2009
4:49 pm
i get it Ms Main…
thats what drugs will do to u…
dad and daghter both dope heads
Lord Velonese (I'm not a Sexist or a Racist, I hate everyone equally) :)
September 23rd, 2009
4:49 pm
Ok I’ll play ball on this one. Considering I didn’t grow up with real parents, those around me always taught me “you put out good, good will come back to you” WRONG! It’s more like you try to be nice and caring and it puts a Bulls-eye on you for being taken advantage off, being made fun of, bullied, not taken seriously, and kinds of heinous things and also applies to women. No woman wants a nice guy and if you say you do you’re lying through your teeth. I’m almost convinced women want one of 3 types of men.
1. A slug, that doesn’t work and is easy to control. 2. An Abusive ass-hat that will demoralize them at every turn because some women like a “Days of our lives relationship”. 3. A rich idiot who will bend over backward for them even if the woman demoralizes the man, but hey at least she gets what she wants when she wants right?
I had the right up-bringing, but society (YOU) taught me that kindness means jack. And with that being said I see no logical reason to sell myself out to anyone for any reason. I see it only as offering myself as a slave to elites or those who believe in a pecking order. Trust me you peck on me you had best be ready for a Hell-Storm no exceptions. Even if you had the right training, what good is it when it’s never appreciated?
2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!
September 23rd, 2009
4:50 pm
Lioness, they ain’t gotta be alleycats…..shoot, you don’t know a brotha cain’t work his tool until he’s put to the test……..
Ms.Main
September 23rd, 2009
4:50 pm
So no Shim or man panties…okay. I can believe that. Would you open tomorrow with your thoughts on the topic before any of the other ladies? Seriously. Not trying to be funny but maybe you can shed light and insight as to why we cackle too much. I look forward to it.
Dream_n
September 23rd, 2009
4:51 pm
I couldn’t even finish reading that story… it’s a sad story for both parties…. I’m not one to judge cause my house is surely not made of glass… i just hope they both talked to god for forgiveness.. I’m done
AND ALLEY CAT RED– Ouch!!!