Training Camp
We talked about how character traits of single parents could translate into the traits of a husband and wife on Monday. I started to think about how women are taught as children to be the nurturer. You know we get the dolls, the domestic type toys to play with and mimic our mothers. As women get older, our “natural instinct” as women is cultivated by society.
By the time we reach adulthood, we’ve basically had a lifetime of “training camp” for motherhood. I have talked to a lot of married women who say that they may not have felt prepared for marriage and family in the beginning, but it wasn’t long before they adapted. Is it because we spend our lives being groomed for the job, even when we don’t even know it?
What kind of training camp do men have for being a good mate? If a young boy is given a totally different set of toys and mimics what he sees, what has prepared him to be a father and husband? If you think about it, the traits of a “good husband” aren’t exactly heralded as positive ones for single men to have. I would even argue that men are groomed to be the exact opposite. Does that partly explain why men are aversive to marriage?
Guys, if men are taught to be hunters and providers, what or whom is teaching you about the other important traits that are needed for a relationship? Does it really come up? Do you think a lot of men “fake it till they make it” or do they work on it?
Ladies, do you think that you’ve been to a virtual “training camp” to be a good wife? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? What happens if you are missing that whole training camp background? Do you think it makes a difference on your views about love and marriage? If a guy makes a horrible boyfriend, would that make you think twice about viewing him as a viable husband candidate?
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464 comments Add your comment
Angie
September 23rd, 2009
3:27 pm
i don’t need to reach climax. but the guy feels that if he doesn’t make me c*, that he didn’t do his job.
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
3:28 pm
Afternoon Angels!
Although my neighborhood in Cobb was hit hard, I Thank God the lake next to my loft did not crest! I am however very sad and prayerful for the students/teachers/staff that lost homes and their schools.
On Topic:
I’ve had great role models and although my mom who was the ultimate woman is deceased, to this day I still have a mentor…..because I’ve been married/divorced I have had to rethink my role as a wife….I believe if:
I love God
I love my husband
Communicate and Listen (honestly)
Not Assume Too Much
Cook Sunday Dinner (and maybe once during the week)
Take Care of myself
Laugh
…and choose him every morning that I wake…..I will make a great wife!
Ironically….I don’t want to be a trained wife just a good one.
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
3:28 pm
Taz- I know that is RIGHT!! Does your fiance’ cook?
Cemeeli
September 23rd, 2009
3:28 pm
Beautiful – Can’t speak to me?! Wrong! But how are you and yours? YOu are blessed with FLMA for a bit, right? Thats great…
Melo
September 23rd, 2009
3:28 pm
Kym, abc talked of “intense intimacy” not just intimacy.
we kiss,we mwa,we peck on the neck..thats not intense,jus regular intimacy.
Intense and wit clothes on??
Not sure,unless we in a public elevator.
Leggs
September 23rd, 2009
3:29 pm
@ForReal ~ I thought the exact same thing (2:34). I know I couldn’t mix a lot with curry.
@Raqi ~ Donuts are evil.
@MeanPerson ~ If none of the women talk, what would make this different than a mere sporting blog if only men blogged? Isn’t this WD’s blog as a rep for AJC. How can she of all ppl shut up?
Can you be pleasured/satisfied w/o reaching the O. Yep!
Tazzee
September 23rd, 2009
3:29 pm
Cemeeli – don’t be using me to take some sick days
although I wouldn’t mind hitting up South City Kitchen for some shrimp, scallops and grits….
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
3:30 pm
Wings- Sorry for your loss! Nice post too
Melo- LAWD
Raqi...The Good Wife?
September 23rd, 2009
3:30 pm
2CPTG you asked about women, not men.
Now how many men are willing to…nevermind.
Angie
September 23rd, 2009
3:31 pm
hi Cee! i miss you girlie.
2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!
September 23rd, 2009
3:32 pm
Hi Angie….how are you today?
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
3:32 pm
Raqi- NONE
DJ Demi ( DeeJaying from Slave Row......E155)
September 23rd, 2009
3:32 pm
…….fellas ya’ll know damn well when you and ya lady makin love, you ain’t stoppin til you reach ya climax…
Neighbors bangin on the wall cause we over here
disturbin the peace, baby be easy
Rockin the bed so hard we done kicked off
all tha sheets, don’t worry we don’t need em
A couple hours in the session we done been
through bout four CDs (about four CDs)
Keith Sweat, Mary J, Brian McKnight, and Jodeci
(They love Jodeci)
By the way look think I need a couple can of energy drinks
(yeah I’m gone need em)
Raqi...The Good Wife?
September 23rd, 2009
3:33 pm
So Melo your views are intimacy can only be passionate, fierce, powerful when it results in you skeeting babies.
Cemeeli
September 23rd, 2009
3:34 pm
Tazzee Mae – I know right? Shoot i’d meet you tonight! don’t play! Ya girl is always up for…we’ll you know by now…
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
3:35 pm
Hey Lioness – Thanks sis! It’s all of our loss…right.
Everybody else – y’all so nasty….:)
Cemeeli
September 23rd, 2009
3:36 pm
Tazzee He obviously is not there for your meals/cooking. Auh…you know what i say.
Raqi...The Good Wife?
September 23rd, 2009
3:37 pm
Is that true 2CPTG? Guys can only feel a sense of passion and intimacy when it results in bustin’.
Melo
September 23rd, 2009
3:37 pm
Now how many men are willing to…nevermind….
some days when she has run out on her pill,she wants it but will say to me,”please withdraw when u get there”"…
i dont do that tho..what happens inside stays and gets finished inside….ughhh ugghh to the finish!
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
3:39 pm
ABSOLUTELY GROSS MELO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TMI, TM MFING I
Leggs
September 23rd, 2009
3:39 pm
@Melo, I am truly LOL at you. No one really says those words anymore do they? However, your Las Vegas motto is funny!
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
3:39 pm
Hey Demi – I have a request…can you play something sexy?( while I cross my legs and order a pomegranate martini in the blog lounge)
Tazzee
September 23rd, 2009
3:39 pm
Lioness – yes, he can cook but neither of us cooks regularly due to our work hours.
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
3:40 pm
Wings- It is all of our loss!! I LOVE those martinis! Smirnoff has a pre-made one that is yummy
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
3:41 pm
Ready to let my hair down and it taint even Friday…….
2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!
September 23rd, 2009
3:42 pm
absolutely not, Raqi, but if we start, better believe we gon finish!!! I’m not talking about intimacy, I’m talkin about sex…….petting, cuddling, and all that, to me, is initimacy…..but when we get nekkid, the goal is to Bust!
Raqi...The Good Wife?
September 23rd, 2009
3:43 pm
Melo that is not what I was going to ask. Heck if you are in you may as well finish.
I was asking are you willing to give her and you get nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Dry at bone.
Or for you is it “I’m not interested if I can’t get mine”?
Melo
September 23rd, 2009
3:45 pm
ur views are intimacy can only be passionate, fierce, powerful when it results in you skeeting babies
when i kiss her Raqi,thats passionate,thats powerful and luving…
when i wing my neck to smell her back and neck,thats passionate…poweful too i wld think
Intense….?? i wldnt descibe that action as such…..
Intense is when im frolicking…shuffling stuff,kicking my boxers wit my toe nails and sliding my index inside hers,thats intense.
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
3:47 pm
…watching Melo, Raqi and 2C hemmed up in the corner…………..watch out gurl…
Cemeeli
September 23rd, 2009
3:47 pm
Lawd!
DJ Demi ( DeeJaying from Slave Row......E155)
September 23rd, 2009
3:49 pm
Everybody else – y’all so nasty….:)
DON’T STOP…GETTY GETTY…DON’T STOP…GETTY GETTY
WING…
Gurl…LET ME RIDE THAT DONKEY DON-KAY!!!!
Ladies…Please DO NOT STEP on my dance floor…
Unless you’ve got buns, hun
Note: Demi just like women period.
Now Dial 1-900-Fu-a-Demi
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!
Raqi...The Good Wife?
September 23rd, 2009
3:49 pm
but when we get nekkid, the goal is to Bust
2CPTG just sex, then yeah that is quite often the end goal.
But intimacy, making love, bonding, sharing…another Oprah. But that is where most women and men differ in those 4 I think.
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
3:49 pm
kicking my boxers wit my toe nails<– Ri DAMN di cu lous!!!
Melo
September 23rd, 2009
3:49 pm
I was asking are you willing to give her and you get nothing
Nothing?? becoz my johnson has an STD….??
i go down there to pleasure her and myself and not jus for her to go off.I go there,best believe im getting real stiff too….
And me??..ME DRY???
u kidding me right??
i wldnt do that even if i was being paid.
Dream_n
September 23rd, 2009
3:51 pm
Watermelon Martini/ Daquiris/ and Watermelon Bacardi Silver (wine coolers) are the best ….
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
3:51 pm
SMDH @ Melo
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
3:51 pm
LOL @ wine coolers.. Haven’t had one of THOSE in eons..
Raqi...The Good Wife?
September 23rd, 2009
3:53 pm
So Melo you are unable to give your wife without getting something in return.
Cemeeli
September 23rd, 2009
3:54 pm
“Peter and Jane” are still good story lines/books to read…
2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!
September 23rd, 2009
3:55 pm
Raqi, I do remember doin’ it so long til she got dry, and I just stopped……told her she owed me one, though!
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
3:56 pm
…..don’t stop get it get it……ooooo ( backin’ that thang up like a tonka truck ) Can I get another Tini pleeze… Go Demi that’s my Dj………
DJ Demi ( DeeJaying from Slave Row......E155)
September 23rd, 2009
3:57 pm
Wings…sorry beh, today is Hump Day for real…fo reel
Sweat-sweat-sweat-sweat-sweat
Get you really wet
Girl I’ve got just what you want
To leave your body soaking wet.
Gal send it on fire
Let’s blaze it up higher
I want yours melt on mine
Put your body next to mine
You know I’ve got desire
You’re flaming like the fire… fire…
Sweat-sweat-sweat-sweat-sweat
Get you really wet
Girl I’ve got just what you want
To leave your body soaking wet
Leggs
September 23rd, 2009
3:58 pm
No one has mentioned it here, but Macy Gray looks like a lumberjack…there I said it. She has guts, though!
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
3:58 pm
Okay Dream n – Hey girl I see you !
Deeva4Life
September 23rd, 2009
3:59 pm
I do remember doin’ it so long til she got dry, and I just stopped……told her she owed me one, though!
LMAO…that was funny to me!!
) Men…you gotta love’em.
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
3:59 pm
2C- I do remember doin’ it so long til she got dry, and I just stopped<– You probably weren't as exciting as she wanted you to be..
Angie
September 23rd, 2009
3:59 pm
@2C
is it true? you’re in CA?
Dream_n
September 23rd, 2009
3:59 pm
@ Lioness..
I started with really hard stuff.. but found out i’m a lite weight… a wine cooler will do….
Wings()
September 23rd, 2009
4:00 pm
@Lioness – LMAO – wine coolers – they use to get the job done!
Lioness
September 23rd, 2009
4:00 pm
Leggs- You are RONG!!!