accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Training Camp

We talked about how character traits of single parents could translate into the traits of a husband and wife on Monday. I started to think about how women are taught as children to be the nurturer. You know we get the dolls, the domestic type toys to play with and mimic our mothers.  As women get older, our “natural instinct” as women is cultivated by society.

By the time we reach adulthood, we’ve basically had a lifetime of “training camp” for motherhood.  I have talked to a lot of married women who say that they may not have felt prepared for marriage and family in the beginning, but it wasn’t long before they adapted. Is it because we spend our lives being groomed for the job, even when we don’t even know it?

What kind of training camp do men have for being a good mate? If a young boy is given a totally different set of toys and mimics what he sees, what has prepared him to be a father and husband? If you think about it, the traits of a “good husband” aren’t exactly heralded as positive ones for single men to have. I would even argue that men are groomed to be the exact opposite. Does that partly explain why men are aversive to marriage?

Guys, if men are taught to be hunters and providers, what or whom is teaching you about the other important traits that are needed for a relationship? Does it really come up? Do you think a lot of men “fake it till they make it” or do they work on it?

Ladies, do you think that you’ve been to a virtual “training camp” to be a good wife? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? What happens if you are missing that whole training camp background? Do you think it makes a difference on your views about love and marriage? If a guy makes a horrible boyfriend, would that make you think twice about viewing him as a viable husband candidate?

464 comments Add your comment

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:23 pm

…thought Dream was talkin ’bout advice.

Lol…lemme got get the switch/belt to pass over so Stop Hatin can gimme my due.

:)

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:25 pm

Cee

I always thought that maid was a single female, matron was married.

I am not up on wedding lingo. As far as mine was concerned, I was at the appointed place, at the appointed, and knew my appointed line. That was pretty much my involvement in the wedding. I was more in the reception planning.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:28 pm

PG- I am not up on wedding lingo. As far as mine was concerned, I was at the appointed place, at the appointed, and knew my appointed line. That was pretty much my involvement in the wedding. I was more in the reception planning<– I SWEAR that is something I would say :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
1:28 pm

@ SexyCool

offense taken, but it’s kewl :)

5 yrs is a long time to be in a relationship.. and the end result is a learning experience that I will keep with me forever. But as a woman who’s been in a relationship for many years and at some point was very happy and knew how to communicate w her SO (at the time)…. At the end of the day regardless of my situation or anyone else’s we all know that to maintain a healthy relationship it is all about communication… this comes with experience and maturity…. You can’t go around asking every tom dick and harry how to handel your business at home… YOu just handle it… When it comes to matters between a a man and a woman comunication is the key… b/c at the end of the day if you’re not talking and he’s not talking… What do you have left… I’ve been there and I don’t need a license to tell me how to converse with my SO…. :)

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:29 pm

Cee

I am not a big fried chicken fan in the first place. I grew up cleaning up the the Atlanta Motor Speedway and I picked up countless Colonel’s buckets. It turned me off from KFC, and now I eat even less fried chicken. It wasn’t good for my football workouts either.

SexyCool.........That is all.

September 23rd, 2009
1:30 pm

Last I checked, I was not Tom, Dick or Harry. LOL!

It’s all good, Young One. No love lost here.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:31 pm

PoppaG Cee and/or Cemeeli has been only ONE. I was a “Maid” of honor…some days i still feel like it too.

I will not be “sole” planner of something that he and i both will be the guest of honor…Nope…i’m more interesting in gifts…lol.

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
1:32 pm

Goldie and Kurt’s??

who are they?

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:33 pm

PG & Cee- Ya’ll don’t want to tell me about yall chicken spot??? :evil:

Leggs

September 23rd, 2009
1:33 pm

Matron of honor is one of your married friends.

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:34 pm

Cee

The Church pretty much had the ceremony planned. There wasn’t much for either of us to do. The wedding party had more to learn than the bride and groom, and the church had that planned already.

We did a lot more with the reception. I definitely wanted to be apart of planning that. I had to keep that spending in check. :wink:

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:34 pm

@ Lioness – “my” Busy Bee is on MLK at the Joeseph E. Lowery intersect.

@ PoppaG – Did gravity catch up with you too? I know what you mean Popeyes and BoJangles is my friend only Mon – Friday. Lol…

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:37 pm

Leggs

Matron of honor is one of your married friends.

That is what I thought.

I guess that I’ve did learn something from attending all the Delta Sigma Theta weddings that I’ve accompanied my wife :razz:

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
1:39 pm

@ SexyCool

None here either chica!! :)

Melo

September 23rd, 2009
1:41 pm

I’ve been there and I don’t need a license to tell me how to converse with my SO

no heterration in u right,Dream_n??

u jus dont like to be iced coz u got smething,albeit unsuccessful, to show for it?? :lol:

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:41 pm

Cee

Bojangles and Popeyes are in the same league as the Varsity when it comes to grease. I used to like them. However, I cut them out of my diet a while back, and when I tried them again, all I could taste was the grease. So, I haven’t gone back. I did like they cajun shrimp, but not anymore.

I will still occasionally eat a cajun fillet biscuit from Bojangles, but that is like once every three months or so.

I eat more sandwiches and cook my own food for lunch the next day.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
1:41 pm

The only thing I planned input was the day we got married.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:43 pm

I want a small wedding & a off the HOOK reception.. Might not mind a hangover for the flight to our honeymoon destination :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
1:45 pm

What’s the difference between Goldie and Kurt’s relationship as opposed to someone who is married….

God don’t honor Goldie and Kurt’s setup.

Matron – married
Maid – single

STOP HATIN you sound like a SHIM

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:46 pm

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
1:46 pm

Who got his man panties in a bunch today?

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
1:47 pm

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
1:48 pm

@ Melo SMH LOL

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
1:48 pm

Dream_n She/Him…combined

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:49 pm

It’s all grease…Popeyes, BoJangles, Zax, Chic-fil-a, the soul food spot ’round the corna…Jus always practice moderation when enjoying those leisures.

PoppaG cranberry/ruby/scarlet/garnet/crimson<– all that run a gamut when attending a Delta or Kappa weddings…

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:50 pm

Main- Hims missing the MENS.. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Him must not know that a lot of ppl are dealing with the baby Katrina type situation going on out here & could care LESS about this blog.

Dream_n

September 23rd, 2009
1:51 pm

oh… hold on was the comment for me :)

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:52 pm

Cee

For me., for me not eating much fried chicken, has more to do with me not wanting an angioplasty. One of my former coaches had one years ago, and it stuck with me. He was not an overweight man. His arteries and veins were clogged with that mess. It caused a heart attack. Frying in Vegetable and Canola oil are better than lard, but it still isn’t good for us.

Furthermore, both of my grandfathers died from heart attacks. Neither of them were very big men. One was tall and other other wasn’t very tall. Both were so skinny that they didn’t need umbrellas because they could dodge the rain drops. It was their eating habits that did them in. (and the cigars and cigarettes)

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
1:55 pm

LionessMain- Hims missing the MENS.. Him must not know that a lot of ppl are dealing with the baby Katrina type situation going on out here & could care LESS about this blog.

I know right….girl he was probably counting on reading his favs today too…

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
1:56 pm

Cee

PoppaG cranberry/ruby/scarlet/garnet/crimson<– all that run a gamut when attending a Delta or Kappa weddings…

Tell me about it. Once I made the mistake of wearing a pink shirt with one of my navy suits to a Delta Wedding. I got call out for wearing “watered down red” to a DST wedding so many times during the reception. :razz:

I also was told that the It looked good though. :grin:

Ms.Main

September 23rd, 2009
1:56 pm

Extra virgin olive oil, canola, peanut oil…are better oils to work with

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
1:57 pm

@ PoppaG i feel ALL ‘at wish you could be a fly on the wall for a few folks that i know who overindulge…but imma enjoy fried chicken and fish until i die…like i said in moderation.

I’m healthy and not in jeporady of health issues from my diet thank God, so i guess i can ride that wave/ride until it breaks…IF it breaks.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:57 pm

Angie

September 23rd, 2009
1:57 pm

happy hump day!

Compelling

September 23rd, 2009
1:58 pm

No Dream_n, it was about that clown from earlier with his random tirade.

Lioness

September 23rd, 2009
1:58 pm

Tobacco companies make soooo much money to legally kill ppl..

Kym-likes the Geeks :-)

September 23rd, 2009
1:58 pm

Whats the topic now folks?

Compelling

September 23rd, 2009
1:59 pm

LOL @ Ms. Main….reading his favs. *Giggles* :-)

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:00 pm

Cemeeli Joseph E Lowery is what street now?

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:00 pm

Sorry I asked that backwards. What was the former name of J.E.L.?

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:01 pm

matta fact my Doc wants me to incorporate beef in my diet…a burger now and then too.

…ugh…if that is the sleeping pill for me!…

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:02 pm

Kym, Poppa being the Biggest Loser.

LOL

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:02 pm

Cee

I know that moderation is key. Just for me, I know that my family history puts me a bigger risks for certain things. So, I have to be careful.

On another note (but kinda similar), I went to a birthday party this weekend where the birthday guy wanted Krispy Kremes instead of a cake. So, everyone got football shaped doughnuts from Krispy Kreme in Tennessee Volunteer colors.

My wife wasn’t happy at all. Krispy Kreme is like her kryptonite.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:04 pm

…. it was Asby St. back in the day.

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:05 pm

football shaped doughnuts from Krispy Kreme in Tennessee Volunteer colors

I like that. Things that make you hmmm.

2CPTG - "If you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready" - that includes huntin' and providn'!

September 23rd, 2009
2:05 pm

what about sex…….ladies can sex still be good without you “bustin” one????? one gal said yes, but I’on know myself…..methinks that’s the prize you’re aiming for….

Poppa Grande

September 23rd, 2009
2:05 pm

Raqi – I proably will lose more weight. Honestly, I really don’t want to. I want to gain some more muscle. I just got some new boxing gloves last week.

I was shopping for the wife’s birthday gift, but found that boxing gloves that called my name

I got her a pair too. :grin:

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:06 pm

That’s what I thought Cemeeli but wasn’t sure. I was just trying to place the area you were talking about.

Cemeeli

September 23rd, 2009
2:06 pm

we get a KK delivery here i the dept. almost every Friday morning. I come in mean muggin cause they buy enough for folks to have 1/2 dozen per person.

I can see kryptonite…

Raqi...The Good Wife?

September 23rd, 2009
2:08 pm

Yes 2CPTG. That prize is most awesome, but yes for me it can be. Depending on the day and my desire and my mood.