Single Parents Rock
It’s always a different experience when you are child-free and date someone who isn’t. You have to adjust to a few things, just as you would any other relationship. I admire people with children who find the time to mingle and date. I can’t imagine juggling the demands of parenthood and squeezing in the energy and time to devote to dating!
For all the single parents, what advice would you give someone who is just starting to date as a single parent? How do you manage it? What have you found to be the most challenging part of dating?
If you are child-free, do you prefer to date other people who are too? Have you ever dated a person who had children before? What do you think is the best advice to someone who is dating someone with children?
There is something about a man who is handling his responsibilities as a father that is so attractive to me. When you see the nurturing and supportive side of a man, it’s very appealing. Men, do you ever talk about your children to the women you date?
When do you bring up the fact that you are a parent?
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409 comments Add your comment
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
8:49 am
Good Morning all!!
Interesting topic….I prefer not to date someone with kids..Because I don’t have any and I would like this to be our first experience TOGETHER if it leads to that.
Good thing lately, I actually thought about ARED outside of this blog…Would you know that I have been meeting 28yrs w/o kids…This is such a sweet thing. There are TONS of them out there..it’s just your outlook on things and what you put in the air that you attract…so I need to STOP saying they aren’t any..Because there is.
If I am going to date someone with a child…..notice no plural. It can ONLY be 1…I can no longer do that not at all!
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
8:54 am
early morning to ya!
As a single parent myself, my little advice about dating, for those newly “single” parents is; 1) Raise your child with all the love and reassurance they need before you use time away from them to breakbread with Boy/girlfriend #4, first and foremost…by doing this your child will be more acquiescent to the person/people that mommy/daddy brings over. 2) Take care of YOUR needs (including breaks)…just because you are a parent remember you still need “grown up time” & companionship (when you’re ready!) Please do not allow friends/family rush you into the “dating world” if you are not ready. 3)It is not neccessary to allow ALL people you date, or the “new relationships” to be around your child/children.
Everyone is not privy to meet your most precious commodity…
Wings() (Rainy Days and Mondays....)
September 21st, 2009
9:01 am
Good Morning All:
I think you should let a person know that you are a parent during your initial conversation.
I don’t mind dating someone with maybe one, possibly two kids if the situation has been well managed. Otherwise, I just prefer not…I don’t want baby momma drama, child custody/support issues. I’ve experienced the bad side of it and I just don’t want to deal.
I have unfortunately dismissed some potentially great guys because of what I perceived as unchecked or overwhelming issues surrounding their kids and the ex. I personally don’t want to be around folks that are messing up their kids ( I’ve witnessed the shrapnel from it).
I think it takes a very special man/woman to step into the role of step parent and unless you can go into it ready to roll up your sleeves and work as hard as the biological parents for the kid(s) don’t do it, that’s sacred territory.
As, far as dating, I would hope that a parent would only introduce their child to someone that they are straight up serious about.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not judging…I’ve got my own ish, it’s just not tied to kids.
Have A Great Day!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
9:03 am
1. Give yourself time to get over your past relationship.
2. Do not allow your kids to run your life.
3. It’s not necessary for your kids to meet every person you find interesting or attractive.
4. Know the difference from a genuine concern of your kid(s) and sheer brattiness.
5. When the time is right incorporate some activities that include your kid(s) into the time spent with a promising love interest.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
9:07 am
Morning all –
There are TONS of them out there..it’s just your outlook on things and what you put in the air that you attract…so I need to STOP saying they aren’t any..Because there is.
Well, well, well… looks like AmazonRed actually does live in the real world. Glad you changed your outlook, Blow. Glad things are working out for you.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
9:12 am
I have dated men with children before, but none seriously. As stated before, I don’t ask for anything I can’t offer in my dating life. I would like to end up with a man with no kids. I’d really like us to experience that first together.
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
9:14 am
Good Monring All…..I get to blog today since Gwinnett Co. closed schools…..it is a mess out there….lots of roads are flooded and roads colapsed…..drive safely.
On topic: As a single mother due to divorce, I was in that number of singles w/kids….having three kids was not easily digested by several guys that I dated….I got to a point that I disclosed my parenthood quickly….sometimes as soon as I was offered a drink…lol.
It all comes down to the individual and whether they can handle being with someone who has kids and knowing that that part of their life will conflict sometimes with the relationship. My kids always come first and I appreciated the honesty from guys who were no longer interested after the fact. Suprisingly, there were some who had no problem with it as long as me and the ex had no drama.
Suprisingly…I did not stay single for long….I met my fiance within six months after my divorce. I was only out there for a few months, but my experiences weren’t that bad…..only one didn’t show for Thanksgiving dinner because he thought my kids were going to be there. I made it a point to never let anyone I dated meet my kids early…..my fiance didn’t meet them until we were together for over six months.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
9:18 am
think it takes a very special man/woman to step into the role of step parent and unless you can go into it ready to roll up your sleeves and work as hard as the biological parents for the kid(s) don’t do it, that’s sacred territory.
Amen.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
9:24 am
JtJ..i have been out of the loop, when or did you mention your wedding day?
…again, Congratulations to you and your fiance’.
Swissman Swiss Miss IS Mrs. Swiss now, isn’t she?!!? & Tazzee Mae, Kimmie Ah, holla.
Wings() (Rainy Days and Mondays....)
September 21st, 2009
9:25 am
I have a question for the single parents…Who comes first your new mate or your kid(s)?
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
9:31 am
@ ARED…LOL. Don’t push it girlie!! lmao! I will give you that…You were right.
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
9:32 am
@ Cemeeli…Thanks again…..the wedding day is set for October 23, 2010…we are planning on having it either here in Lawrenceville or in Tallahassee, Fl. The colors are FSU….garnet, gold, & white…his idea!!
My sister, who is single w/ no kids…has ruled out dating men with kids because it was later revealed that most were not taking care of their kids…..One guy didn’t even have a recent picture of his kids and couldn’t even get their ages and birthdays right!!! How can step to a woman to try to date her and you are not taking care of your responsibilities????
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
9:33 am
Good Morning All,
Hope Everyone had a Safe and Wonderful Weekend!
Being a single parent has it’s trials in it’s own, adding dating to that scenario can often be complicated and tiresome. As a parent myself (when i become single ).. I would first focus on getting my life/child’s life on track… nothing worse than not having your things in place and trying to incorporate someone’s else’s life into yours… I don’t think I would be closed off to dating someone with kids… maybe 1 or 2 or even 3, but any more would take heavy consideration. I’m not into all that drama, so I would hope that I’m not the only mother that doesn’t give into that… but drama is something I definately can not deal with.
I wouldn’t even introduce my daughter to any man I was just “dating” but he would know of her… It would take a long time for me to let someone have that privelage of meeting my daughter.
I really applaud the single mothers out there taking care of the home and making it w/out the help of the father… It’s hard and can be a bit overwhelming as do I applaud the men
Being someone that has kids and would be open to dating someone with kids…
What are the reasons that some men/women would not be open to dating another man/woman with kids?
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
9:35 am
Interesting blog title today…
Zachs Mom
September 21st, 2009
9:35 am
@Wings…why does it have to be either or? Even if you were still with the origional mate you have to make compromises.
Wings() (Rainy Days and Mondays....)
September 21st, 2009
9:38 am
ZM- I don’t know, I’m just asking……
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
9:40 am
@ Wings……the kids of course, because they have to be cared for and tended to. The question really shouldn’t be valid because any man or woman who knows that you are in your child’s life and love them dearly, won’t even have to ask that question.
I explained to my 11 y/o daughter, that the love I have for Jay comes from a different place than the love I have in my heart for her. I told her I have my heart “compartmentalized” and everyone had their own equal little section in my heart.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
9:42 am
@ JtJ – Nice color scheme…a Fla. wedding too?…Heard someone else speaking about Destin for their wedding rcntly.
FSU!?! girl i’ve been granfathered “in” as a fan. I like them.
Wings() (Rainy Days and Mondays....)
September 21st, 2009
9:43 am
In a traditional relationship….the spouse comes first and then the kids…order of the family…. I was just wondering if that same thought process applies…
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
9:43 am
Zachs Mom – Wings asks a good question tho. Typically someone DOES have to come first. You can’t serve two masters.
Don’t know if anyone is gonna touch that one tho.
That’s a condundrum for single people who date parents. Theoretically, your mate should come first, but what happens when the kid was there before you were?
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
9:44 am
I believe the NEEDS of your child/children definately comes first b4 a mate….. but you do have those bratty kids
(myseld used to be one)
Who don’t want their parents to date anyone else except their dad/mom, and who will make you feel like dating is putting them on the back burner.
Wings() (Rainy Days and Mondays....)
September 21st, 2009
9:44 am
Thanks jtj
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
9:45 am
@ ARED…LOL. Don’t push it girlie!! lmao! I will give you that…You were right.
Blow – Please. You need to go back and read some of the shyt you talked about me at the time. You’re lucky I’m being as cool with it as I am.
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
9:47 am
@ Wings…your question made me remember when my cousin used to fix her husband’s plate first before their kids ( he was really big and ate a lot) and would have to give herself and the kids smaller portions of what was left after he had his plate. I’ve always heard that the husband/wife are to be above the kids…..but I would think parents would feed the kids first since they are growing and need the nourishment….IDK..just made me think of that with “who comes first”.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
9:50 am
Your kids should always come before a total stranger. Once you have been dating and forming a relationship then things should start to balance out it. See the time you spend with your unmarried S/O is not just about them, it’s about you also. You and your needs. You have to learn how to put everything and everyone in its rightful place.
There will be times when someone may feel neglected even when they aren’t or that’s not your intention. Heck that someone will sometimes be you. Nothing is perfect. Situations have their ups and downs.
Now if you have Susan Smith tendencies then you need help. But other than that it’s all about responsibilities and balance of needs.
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
9:51 am
@ Cemeeli….It is FSU all the way in our house…even the baby has an FSU outfit…lol. I am just getting into college football….their games are definately more interesting and they play their hearts out.
The FSU wedding colors were my promise to him, we even purchased an FSU garter belt and wedding favors on online….We are thinking about renting one of the conference facilities on the FSU campus.
Wings() (Rainy Days and Mondays....)
September 21st, 2009
9:53 am
JTJ – The Judeo-Christan belief of “leave and cleave” is where that comes from along with the natural order of the family….However today, I guess it boils down to your own belief system of family order.
I think you cousin found her own way to put her man first.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
9:57 am
“I am just getting into college football….their games are definately more interesting and they play their hearts out.
This deserves repeating! Yes..yes…
@ JtJ – aww..the baby got FSU gear too? That is too cute! Those colors are complimentary. Think you’re going to be FSU’d out by Oct. 24th 2010? Or just “out”? lol…
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
9:57 am
Now if you have Susan Smith tendencies then you need help. But other than that it’s all about responsibilities and balance of needs
Reminds me of the Caylee Anthony story. The toddler who was killed and her mother is going to trial for it. Evidence points to her feeling the child was a burden because it conflicted with her relationship.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
9:59 am
Good football weekend for me. Cal won, Raiders won, USC LOST. Heh heh heh.
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
10:00 am
I remeber that story.. (Caylee).. That was really sad… I can’t even imagine what goes through someone’s head who murdered their child… that’s just crazy …..
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
10:03 am
Good morning!
When do you bring up the fact that you are a parent? During your first conversation.
Who comes first, mate or kids, my child! We’ve had this conversation may times here, and I know a lot disagrees with me.
@Cee ~ you’re right, not everyone gets to meet my precious commodity.
@JtJ ~ it’s different in different households. I fed lil leggs first. I even noticed when I stopped letting him get the best piece of meat!
Your children need to feel that they are important, their needs, wants and concerns are being attended to. No child wants to be placed or feel that they’re being placed on the back burner to accommodate another person. It’s hard to find a balance, but the maturity level of him and I, and the desire to make the relationship work should help balance things out!
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
10:03 am
@ Zach’s Mom – Compromise is a good word…
I would hope that Kids vs. “Mate first” would not be a WWF in a loving environment/household….shucks, Lil Miss, or Jr. Chef can fix plates for daddy and me as soon as i’m/we’re finish cooking if she/he want too.
whatever works for those individuals/household
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
10:05 am
Hi Lil Leggs Mommy!….of course, you know it.
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
10:07 am
“There will be times when someone may feel neglected even when they aren’t or that’s not your intention. Heck that someone will sometimes be you. ”
@ Raqi….I feel that way sometimes, especially when the kids consume the entire weekend with sports and events….we usually make up for by making them go to bed early and shutting our bedroom door for some “we” time.
@ Cemeeli….I am sure by then, I will not want to repeat or even here the words …FSU…Sad thing is me and the baby’s birthdays are Nov. 29, Nov. 30. FSU always play the FL Gators around that time…last year her 1st b-day was on the same day as the family FSU/Gator TailGate Party and we were still down there for my b-day….I was not a happy camper!! Can’t seperate a man and his football!
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
10:08 am
Good Morning All,
As a single parent the advice I have:
Don’t introduce your child to everyone you date.–You are dating not your kid(s).
Don’t expect this new person in your life to fill the gap of the father(mother of your child)–Cut out or better yet don’t make comparisons at all.
Develop a good support system.-Friends and family, sitter who you can trust to watch your youngins while you date.
Don’t expect to take your youngins on the date. I am sorry but that attitude of date me..date my kid that has played out. You can go out without little Ray-Ray and Ray-Ray can stand to spend time away from you.
Not sure who brought it up but in a dating relationship(keyword is dating) The kid always comes first. If the kid is sick, needs medical treatment,then Mr. Bobo has to understand you can’t go out.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
10:08 am
Amazon my entire adult dating career was as a single parent so I know what it’s like finding the balance. Any man that even tried to place me in such a position of choosing him over my kids quickly got the boot. Hell those are my kids and you are just a stranger that I have yet become to know.
I would not deny a time or two doing some things that I probably should not have when it came to someone I had formed as relationship with but I always made sure my kids were safe and taken care of. But those times were merely for the fulfillment of my need or want at the time.
It’s a package deal though for a single parent. You cannot separate the kids from the parents.
2CPTG
September 21st, 2009
10:12 am
Mornin’……ummm yeah, you mention your kids from the jump! I can’t see NOT mentioning them;
i'm swiss
September 21st, 2009
10:13 am
On Topic: I would never have considered dating anyone with kids, simply because I had none myself and (equally as important) I had other options. Nothing wrong with being a single parent, but that just wasn’t something I wanted to deal with.
Morning, Cee… Yes, Swiss Miss is indeed Mrs. Swiss now. And I couldn’t be happier…
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
10:14 am
No child wants to be placed or feel that they’re being placed on the back burner to accommodate another person.
Leggs – I wouldn’t say that happens just because a person decides to put their mate first. Had you chosen to feed your husband first, doesn’t mean that your daughter would have felt neglected.
Melo
September 21st, 2009
10:15 am
your question made me remember when my cousin used to fix her husband’s plate first before their kids
JtJ,now thats just damn greedy…when it comes to food and survival etc,kids are the most vulnerable,they come first..OMG,greedy step daddy!
The woman was wrong too…
Now Wings askesd a great qstion….kids will always be kids but circumstances of first or second?? u gotta clarify..
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
10:16 am
Hey 2C!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
10:16 am
It’s a package deal though for a single parent. You cannot separate the kids from the parents.
I totally agree. I think women are more realistic with this one than men. The guys I’ve met who do have kids want to stress that a woman would be a priority. Maybe because they aren’t the ones with primary custody most times? I don’t know.
Just makes it one of the reasons I know I’m not the best equipped to handle it.
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
10:16 am
ARED-Hey hey now…you actually remember some of the things I have said…Whoa! I have reached you. Please don’t take it to heart. Didn’t realize you were so sensitive underneath all of that mouth. But hey most ppl with ALOT of mouth are the sensitive type.
I’ll wipe the slate clean. lol!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
10:18 am
Um…can someone elaborate why the husband doesn’t get fed first? He’s is the provider! My dad always got his food first. He was the head of household and it was a demonstration of the respect of the role. Trust me, us kids always got fed too.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
10:18 am
2CPTG
September 21st, 2009
10:19 am
Hey Cee!!! and ummm, what you know bout them ‘Noles, gal????? Saw that beatdown we put on BYU this weekend? Had only Tampa Bay won yesterday, all woulda been well this weekend..
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
10:21 am
Hey hey now…you actually remember some of the things I have said…
Blow – I would remember anything you said if I had a gun to my head. I just know it was crazy, delusional and rude and that I felt sorry for you that you were so short sighted.
Of course you’ll wipe the slate clean. You were the one who was wrong!
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
10:24 am
Normally in my family when we are preparing for a family gathering you feed the midgets first so they are all out of the way and then let those with bigger tummy’s go last. They normally have bigger than normal plates and make several return trips. At my house since its me and the son..he fixes his plate and I fix mine or if I feel like it I fix both or he fixes mine. There is no rhyme or reason.
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
10:25 am
@ Melo….my cousin was married…he was their bilogical father…if that matters.
ARed….I understood it from a biblical sense that the man is the head of his home. With my cousin’s situation, I just did not agree that she would pack his plate full and only have enough to give her and two growing boys 1 single serving. She could’ve just prepared more, but she never did.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
10:27 am
That 10:21 should have read “I wouldn’t remember”
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
10:29 am
@ 2C…ok…FSU did their thing this CGD. I don’t know much ’bout em…cept my old man keeps mentioning they are his fav college teams so i figured maybe i shld catch up…
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
10:31 am
But you know something about kids. They don’t understand the nature and importance of adult responsibilities and needs. My kids never refrained from asking me if I could take them to a friend’s house or help them with something because I was sitting there trying to pay the bills. To them what their little minds are thinking or wanting is the most important thing on earth. Just like you have to tell them you are busy and what they want will have to wait or cannot be done at it, you have to sometimes do the same when taking care of your personal needs.
You have to make time for yourself. A child will not die because you tell them “no you cannot such and such because I have to take care of XYZ”. Never let your kid try to make you feel guilty for having a life. As long as their needs are met, they are being taken care of, you are spending time with them otherwise, it’s okay to have some time for yourself when needed.
Melo
September 21st, 2009
10:31 am
JtJ, thats all good..i feel, regardless,kids shld be fed first esp if this is a case of not enough provisions.In ur cousin case,it seems its even worse coz the hubby was having his plate full whilst the kids had to scrounge on whatever was left over.
I wldnt do that to my own kids,let alone anybody’s.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
10:34 am
You have to make time for yourself. A child will not die because you tell them “no you cannot such and such because I have to take care of XYZ”.
Raqi – Thanks. I’m starting to see where children get their sense of entitlement from.
There is a reason they tell the adult to put his mask on before helping others. You’re no good to your kids if you starve while giving them everything.
2CPTG
September 21st, 2009
10:34 am
@ Cee “yo old man”?????? damn, when that happen? I know I’ve been gone for awhile, but gal you done got “boo’ed” up, as I heard someone say the other day……..
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
10:35 am
Even growing up.. I’ve always remebered mommy fixing our plate first then her fixing our dad’s plate… I’ve never heard of the “traditional” way to serve food… but hey to each its own….. Even in big family gatherings… you feed the little ones firsr to get them settled.. then the adults.
Mo (aka Moeisha )
September 21st, 2009
10:36 am
Morning All!
For myself, my only problem is that I prefer a man with a kid since I have one and I keep meeting a few that dont have any. I dont want to date a man with no child(ren) (as in no more than 2) personally.
I piggy back on Raqi mentioned in her 9:03. I have met a few guys that seemed pressed to meet Lil Mo and I was a little offended by it. Of course I never saw/talked to those individuals for very long.
I also mention the fact that I am a parent upfront.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
10:39 am
Good Morning All,
When do you bring up the fact that you are a parent?<– AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
I never used to take a man seriously if he had kids.. Dating was fine but nothing further than that. A man with children was ALWAYS a huge pill for me to swallow because I don't have any kids but I've learned not to "x" anyone out if they treat me the way I am supposed to be treated.
abc
September 21st, 2009
10:40 am
Not much to say specific to the topic. You’re going to encounter single parents while dating. Go with it, don’t go with it, it’s your choice.
I remember being completely surprised the first time a woman took the trouble to fix me a plate of food, taking care of me first. I was accustomed to women that would be quite overt in their display of caring more for their children than for anything or anyone else, or having an attitude along the lines of ‘What am I, your waitress? You have a broken arm? Fix your own dayum plate!’ I’m still pretty self-sufficient, and actually don’t like to be catered to in that way very much, but these days I find it charming when someone does want to do those kinds of things for me.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
10:41 am
…i’m still waiting on 2C to get out my bidness!
lol…i kid.
But seriously we stop playin’ and been doing our thang for a minute now…
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
10:43 am
The man of the house should always get fed first. That does not mean he is getting more or taking anything away from the child, it’s just a matter of respect for the one who is providing. At my house I eat last. Always have and always will.
Thankfully at this present moment with my husband we have not had the misfortune of having limited meals where food had to be rationed. Everybody just eats but the man of the house gets his first. I know it times get hard a food scarce it will divided equally according to needs. But until that time comes we will do has we have done.
Now way back in the day when I was just making it, my kids ate first and I got whatever was leftover. If any. But see that was a whole different time and situation in play.
When I was dating and had a male suitor over for dinner, my kids were handed their meal first, then my date and then me. In situation it was me last for two reasons. One, I was the one handing out the meals. And two, it’s my freaking kitchen.
Now after we were well into the relationship he could make his plate which sometimes resulted in he and I both getting ours at the same time. But if the kids were present I got them theirs first.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
10:45 am
Good Morning,
When do you bring up the fact that you are a parent?<– AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
I never used to take a man seriously if he had kids.. Dating was fine but nothing further than that. A man with children was ALWAYS a huge pill for me to swallow because I don't have any kids but I've learned not to "x" anyone out if they treat me the way I am supposed to be treated.
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
10:46 am
@ Raqi
love ur post…
I had to learn that the hard way… I remember when I first had my little one… she was #1.. Nobody or anything even myself came b4 her…. I wouldn’t leave her with anyone, not even my mom… At night when she would cry I would be up the entire night with her, my mom would come in and say.. “Girl give me that baby and get some rest”… I wouldn’t give her to my mom b/c i felt like I had her, I shouldn’t need any help to take care of her. I felt as though I was being a bad mom if i needed rest and had to give her tom someone else… its krazy… My mom started watching my poo when whe was 2 1/2…. they only people I let watch her is my mom & my sis…
In relation with Raqi’s post… I had to learn that “we” do need rest, and that although we should take every step to take care of the little ones. We should also maintain a healthy life for ourselves
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
10:47 am
The man of the house should always get fed first. That does not mean he is getting more or taking anything away from the child, it’s just a matter of respect for the one who is providing.
I am really trippin that there aren’t more responses like this!!!
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
10:49 am
@ Melo – Are you crying?
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
10:49 am
Ared- I am really trippin that there aren’t more responses like this!!!<– Maybe because some of these folks don't cook
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
10:51 am
@ARed, although I said that in the same paragraph as feeding her first, I wasn’t talking about her feeling neglected cuz I fed her father first. I was talking about those times when the mate is put first where the child feels too much time is being spent with the mate and not with him/her. When a child feels they’re being placed on the back burner because mommy/daddy isn’t spending quality time with them, and they aren’t spoiled brats, something went wrong in the distribution of time. Children should never feel this. And don’t get me wrong, the child should feel that mommy/daddy needs “adult time” as well.
But, when a mate starts feeling slighted and start making demands that you’re not spending enuf time, and my child needs me for whatever the reason might be, my child comes first. No grown person should make demands on another, especially where kids are concerned. That’s what I’m saying!!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
10:52 am
Family gatherings are different than every day living around the table. Yeah if it’s a big soiree the kids would get theirs first and that’s usually because it’s either a sit down food spread, take a spoonful and pass to the left or buffet style.
In either case the kids are not allowed in the food so you get them settled and the grown ups take care of themselves.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
10:52 am
@ Melo – Are you crying?
Melo
September 21st, 2009
10:52 am
Melo – Are you crying?
crying why??….hey!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
10:53 am
Interesting philosophy Leggs.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
10:53 am
I eat first mostly becuase i’m cooking the meal. Everyone knows the cook eats/tastes/samples something while they are preparing the meal…
Grandmas teach you to eat before your famliy sometimes so you can accomidate the “table needs”. She is right, escpecially those BIG meals.
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
10:55 am
AmazonRed
B/c that’s the first I’ve ever heard this before… Even when I used to got to my granma’s house for the entire summer. She had 9 kids plus me, my sis, and my bro and we always ate first… This is the very 1st day I’ve ever heard of “dad” getting the first plate…
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
10:56 am
This is the very 1st day I’ve ever heard of “dad” getting the first plate…
Dream_n – That’s the first I’ve heard of kids getting fed first too. I just texted some of my friends whose parents are still together and they all responded that Dad gets fed first. Interesting.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
10:58 am
(accommodate)
@ Melo – lol…cause you read like JtJ’s cousin kids are still hungry from that 2005 Thanksgiving dinner…cuase that shiesty dude ate first!
u straight going off!
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
10:58 am
Very interesting…
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
10:59 am
Who doesn’t make more than enough Thanksgiving dinner???
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
11:00 am
Now Dream_n you scenario could go either way. I made that baby, I have to deal with it. In terms of taking care of myself back then that was only in terms of not inconveniencing my parents or friends.
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
11:02 am
@ Ared-Never feel sorry for me sweetie..I am blessed and know that I am highly favored…I repeat NEVER I am living this life and to the fullest. This is a blog for crying out loud…Delusional, crazy…ok I’ll give you rude. But delusional and crazy…never that. Maybe it was you dyslexia kicking in…which made you twist some of the things that I say. But like it or not…what I say has ALOT of truth
THE INFAMOUS DK
September 21st, 2009
11:02 am
Dating someone with a child.. 1. Be Understanding. 2. Dont expect to meet the kid until you are introduced, there is no time limit as to when you meet the kid. 3. I dont really want to meet your child so dont try and force that on me, there will be plenty of time to get to know Billy or Sue. 4. Understand that that child comes first because they didnt ask to be here. 5. Know that if I have an emergency I gotta go. 6. Understand that if a man puts his hands on my Son that our relationship will come to an abrupt end due to legal issues.
With my situation I have split custody where I see my Son twice a week and every other weekend so you would have to get your time in when he isnt there. Oh and dont just assume I want to see you when I dont have him because everybody needs some me time.
Melo
September 21st, 2009
11:03 am
oh..oh,no…but i wld have looked at him kinda funny if i were there!
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
11:03 am
@ Cee…..^-^lol
abc
September 21st, 2009
11:03 am
If married, the spouse should always come first, but if only dating, then obviously the kids are number 1. A lot of moms focus on their kids over their husbands, and I think that’s a mistake. When my kids were born, I didn’t just slide down the list, I fell off the list altogether. Now, all men, if they’re honest about it, will confess that they don’t like that; most will accept it, regardless the degree to which they lose attention and respect; but it’s a mistake for women to put their children ahead of their husband. Few men will put their children ahead of their wife.
Manifested as who gets fed first, oh, I don’t know. As something symbolic of what I’m talking about, I suppose I can go along with that.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:03 am
Ared- While I kind of agree with you, you can’t compare how ppl handle their households now to way back when.. I really do believe I would feed my children first before their daddy and I don’t believe their daddy would have a problem with that either..
What if dude is a stay @ home dad?
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
11:04 am
ARED & Dream- Yeah the man always gets the first plate and the BIG piece of chicken. Kids always got fed last when I was coming up. That’s the new age crap where parents put their child on a pedestal. That’s the problem now…kids have choices and feel as if they opinion should be heard since they are now getting waited on hand and foot. SMH!
Grace
September 21st, 2009
11:05 am
Good morning, I’ve never had any challenges when it comes to dating as a single parent, and I’m always up front letting the guy what he’s getting involved in. I take all natural precautions, seeing how he feels about kids and if he has kids of his own, I ask about his relationship with his kids if he’s slack about his relationship with his kids it’s an automatic no go for me, he has no place in my life. Dates will never visit until we’ve established an exclusive relationship however if the dating is going good and we’re leaning towards commitment the kids will be aware of Mr. then the process of implementing our livelyhood will take place. so far I’ve never had a problem and I pray it will stay that way.
As for who gets the big piece of chicken and who eats first, when I was married my husband always started the meal first. He sat at the head of the dinner table then me and the kids, we passed the platters around the table. That’s how I was brought up so it’s just protocol for me. If he was late for dinner I fixed his plate first and put it away for him to eat later. I’ve seen people fix the kids plates first, I never got that concept and I never will.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:06 am
ok I’ll give you rude.
Blow Me – The end. Glad you saw the error of your ways tho. You’re just now discovering what I’ve known for a long time with the it’s just your outlook on things and what you put in the air that you attract….
And I don’t have dyslexia, darlin… just knowing what I’m worthy of.
What you said had a lot of truth, for folks who live life with your former outlook. That wasn’t me. 
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
11:07 am
Its so funny to hear people SPOUT out “Yeah that was back then” Somethings should remain the same because it worked better that way. Kids have wayyyyy to many privileges now a days. Its no good for the them..YOU ARE RAISING ADULTS don’t forget!!
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
11:08 am
THE INFAMOUS DK
September 21st, 2009
11:08 am
Oh and I tell women immediately I have a child and Im an active father.. He is such an important part of my life that I leave the booster seat in the car even when he’s not with me.
Now what I have been seeing that is totally desturbing is women are doing way too much to get out here and date. If I have to ask you where is your child there is a problem. I dont ever want to more impotant than your child or our relationship shouldnt ever be more important than your child. Also Dudes dont get you a new chick and forget about your child cause you are dead azz wrong for that.. Starting a new family and letting that new piece dictate what you do for your child. Tell that chick to shut up or get on gone cause your child is gonna be there when she aint..
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:08 am
What if dude is a stay @ home dad?
Lioness – That implies that the stay at home spouse doesn’t contribute to the production of the household.
The stay at home dad is still more of a provider than the children are.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:08 am
Blow- Priviledges?? Eating?
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:11 am
DK- I AGREE!!
Ared- Got ya..
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
11:12 am
@ Melo – I understand…i dig it.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
11:13 am
Amazon you know when my kid eats first? When he is having something different than what we are having. Or when my husband is running late.
I don’t make my son wait to eat his ravioli because the steaks are not done. If he does not want a steak, or burger or anything else that can be made in conjunction with what I am making he gets his and is done before we even sit down to eat.
If I am making a burger on the grill for him we are having t-bones, his burger is usually done first so he gets his first. But when we are sitting at the table and all getting the same thing, my husband gets his first.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:15 am
I understand that kids need to be nurtured and provided for. But I think the best demonstration of that is seeing parents take care of and respect one another. Seeing them take care of each other, let me know that they’d take care of me. Because I knew no other way, I couldn’t even wrap my mind around something like I was less loved because I got my plate 2nd. But what I did see was respect for my father and his hard work by him being the head and being taken care of as such. We often couldn’t even have dinner until he got home from work…no matter how late. He helped to make all we had possible.
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
11:16 am
@Lioness, I was thinking the exact same thing when I first read ARed’s post about being the head of the household and a sign of respect. Yes, indeed back then that’s exactly how it went down. You still respect your man, but the children are fed first in my household. To be honest, he can fix his own plate, the child can’t. Heck, he can fix his plate while I’m fixing hers. I know, I know, a whole nother problem in the hierachy of a relationship. Just throwing spit on the fire!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:19 am
Raqi – When Mason isn’t running late, do you guys make it a point to sit and eat as a family? Even if your son has something different to eat.
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
11:20 am
I bought up the issue about the father getting feed the most food 1st…..but I definately understand the reasoning behind it… my issue was the quantity as to having enough for the kids.
Growing up….My step-dad was the cook and he fixed all our plates first….as a way for us to provide feedback on how good the food was. My mom hardly ever cooked and therefore, It was never an issue of him getting his food 1st. When we all ate dinner and passed the tray around, we knew not to go for the big chicken or pork chop, out of respect we knew who it belonged too. But my step-father would always say….ladies first.
I recall fixing my fiance’s plate first once after I tried a new recipe and wanted him to have the first plate, he quickly said…no, feed the kids first, fix mine last. From that point on, I fix the kids’ plates first. My kids always say thank you to both of us after every meal, whether we are eating at home or out in public, because they know who made the meal possible. So, the respect is definately still there.
Reality
September 21st, 2009
11:21 am
IDK – That’s what really up – you aint fit for nobody on the real tip cause yo azz is outta order. You single she single y’all don went half on a baby and expect sombody wit no kids to come in or that ragdy shyt. NOPE
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
11:22 am
the BIG piece of chicken
That one there is funny because it’s not always necessarily true.
And the thing with all of this is everything within reason. When Elizabeth gets big enough to sit in a chair and feed herself she will get hers first. Heck she’s a baby. Right now she gets fed by her father while I cook. But as for my son who can eat more than my husband and I put together he gets his after Mason is handed his plate. And that does not necessarily mean that the two plates are not prepared at the same time because usually they are. It’s just that The Man gets handed his before the kid.
aggwitty
September 21st, 2009
11:22 am
Traditional meals for non traditional roles, funny.
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
11:22 am
ARED- Don’t make me revert back to my old ways. It’s like my behavior was warrant…I see why I had to get slick with you.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:23 am
You still respect your man, but the children are fed first in my household.
Leggs – How does it show respect when the man comes after the kids and left to have whatever the child does not? I know you can show respect in other ways, but little things make up the overall picture.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
11:24 am
Yes Amazon we always eat together, even if my son has already finished his a gone about his business.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:24 am
ARED- Don’t make me revert back to my old ways. It’s like my behavior was warrant…I see why I had to get slick with you.
Blow Me – I’m shaking in my rain boots.
You dished it, you were wrong, learn to take it.
Deeva4Life
September 21st, 2009
11:26 am
At the present moment I have no children, however, when that time comes my spouse will always come first. That doesn’t mean I will neglect my children’s needs, but he will be first. I do feel too many women put their children before their husbands and in my opinion that’s not the correct order. Now dating is a different agenda…your kids are what’s permanent in that situation but should things progress you need to re-adjust the priorities.
Oh and dont just assume I want to see you when I dont have him because everybody needs some me time.
This was something I had to learn when I was dating a guy with kid(s). Because I had nothing but free time, I assumed when he didn’t have his kid(s) we would spend time together…not taking into consideration that he may want/need some time alone. Lesson learned.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:26 am
Leggs- Exactly.. My man WON’T have a problem fixing his kids plates as I fix his or vice versa but MY kids WILL get fed first.. When I cook, my man ALWAYS gets fed before me as will anyone having dinner or lunch @ my house will, head of household or NOT.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:27 am
I recall fixing my fiance’s plate first once after I tried a new recipe and wanted him to have the first plate, he quickly said…no, feed the kids first, fix mine last.
JtJ – It also shows respect that you listened to him.
Mo (aka Moeisha )
September 21st, 2009
11:27 am
DK – co-signing you all the way bruh. Some people really dont get that all my free time is not for them!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
11:27 am
Leggs this is just another one of those issues where each couple and household does what is good for them. And nothing is written in stone.
What you hear my talking is what is normal in my house but it’s not always how it may get done. Circumstances call for change sometimes. But on a normal day that “old time way” is how it is.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:28 am
At the present moment I have no children, however, when that time comes my spouse will always come first. That doesn’t mean I will neglect my children’s needs, but he will be first. I do feel too many women put their children before their husbands and in my opinion that’s not the correct order.
Deeva – I agree with you.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:29 am
RAqi- each couple and household does what is good for them<– BOTTOMLINE!
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
11:30 am
hmmm…
…say if your man cooks a gang of fish and fried okra….fixed his plate first, but doesn’t fix yours or the kids plate..is that out of order? I mean being the man and all?
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
11:31 am
LIONESS- You are taking my comment out of text. Eating is not a privilege..of course that is not what I am saying. What I am saying is, I think it’s a form of respect. You are a child and I am the adult. Understand authority and respecting it. That’s why you see all these kids cuss and fuss when adults are around. That’s just a small way to develop respect. Children and Adults are not equal! They cannot make their own decisions and they should be taught on how to respect themselves as well as adults.
There is an expectation to this rule..it basically is void for kids who can not feed themselves.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
11:31 am
Dating/unmarried/fiance are not the husband/man of the house. Just because I have certain views that I like to apply when it comes to relationships there are ones that only apply to a husband.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:31 am
Cee- Hey you.. Did he let ya’ll know it was ready??
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
11:32 am
Wow didn’t know this was going to be taken as a “Great Debate”…. As long as everyone eats I believe that’s the most important thing….
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
11:32 am
@ARed ~ “left to have whatever the child does not [want]“. Lighten up. It’s not even like that. I’m giving my child the ribeye while he gets the grizzle. NOT! Everyone is eating the same thing, just her plate is fixed first. Very rare for me to do separate meals. She gets a chicken thigh (since we’re talking about chicken) and if he wants one, there’s one or two there for him as well. We will go round and round with this one. My child is fed first, no matter what. Sure, there’s many levels of respect. If he gets bent out of shape because she’s fed first, and can’t respect my stance on this, then we have a problem. Point blank! To quarrel, if this should happen over something like this, speaks volumes on bigger, underlying problematic concerns. Jealously, posturing, he’s the man of the house while beating his chest, won’t fly w/me!
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:33 am
Raqi- Your 11:31 is VERY INTERESTING!!
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
11:33 am
@ Lioness – Yea.
Hey!
Chink
September 21st, 2009
11:34 am
All I have to say is ….Single Parents Rock!!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:35 am
I’m giving my child the ribeye while he gets the grizzle.
No but you are in theory giving your child first dibs, first choice. So no, I won’t lighten up. I wasn’t talking about the spouse getting scraps.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:37 am
What I am saying is, I think it’s a form of respect. You are a child and I am the adult. Understand authority and respecting it.
Blow Me – I agree with this as well.
The point is that the example that is set has to start SOMEWHERE and it’s how the adults are treated will mold them into who they will become. If the kid comes first, it means the authority is not. Not good.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:38 am
Cee- Typical man.. I wouldn’t be mad cause he cooked & was hungry
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:39 am
To each its own..
Ared- If the kid comes first, it means the authority is not<– WORD??
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:40 am
Word.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
11:40 am
No Amazon I disagree with your 11:35. Feeding the child first is not giving the child first dibs or first choice because you are the one making the plate. In Leggs defense she does not seem to be saying that she would allow her daughter to mess around in the food and get what she wants and then the husband gets what is left. You have that part wrong.
I don’t hand Mason his plate because he gets the best, we all get the same. He just gets his first. And he has been known to get the burnt bacon and get it first while the boy gets the better piece.
For Real
September 21st, 2009
11:42 am
What up Blog Fam!!
On topic: A married woman w/kids priorities:
1. Herself
2. Her kids
2a. Her happiness
3. Her job
4. Her friends
5. What everyone else thinks about her
6. Anything else she can come up with so long as she doesn’t have to think about her husband
7. Her Husband but see #6 first
Single woman w/kids priority:
1. Herself
2. Her happiness
3. Her job
4. Her 4th new man in 3 months
5. Her kids when there is no new man
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
11:42 am
Lioness interesting how?
THE INFAMOUS DK
September 21st, 2009
11:42 am
Reality – I appreciate that you fear/respect me enough to change your name.. I mustve touched a nerve..
Im sorry you cant understand how important a child is and how much they impact your life, but remember this blog entry when you have children because then you will understand how misguided and not knowing you were.
Melo
September 21st, 2009
11:42 am
We often couldn’t even have dinner until he got home from work…no matter how late
Now, i wldnt do that in my household altho i do understand the concept.
Proly on a given important day,say Thnx giving or Christmas dinner wld i have my pple wait for me..
We dont even do meals on the dinner table tgether except for weekend breakfast that my Queen insists we partake as a fam on the table…
I think as adults,in my household, we demonstate respect for each other in so many other diff ways,not necessarily with food.
As a provider and head of household, i have grown accostomed to seeing my parents go without jus so the kids can have and i tend to do the same in my current lyfe.
My kids can have their clothes etc and yet i can go for a yr or so without a new pair of shoes or pants..i dont mind.
The only thing i insist they dont touch is my $2.00 bag of nuts in the pantry!!!
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:42 am
I am not feeding my child first if he or she is able to feed themselves..
Chink
September 21st, 2009
11:42 am
I know ya’ll can’t be serious with this respect = who eats first. So who ever eats last is the less respected of the bunch??? Serving others is a humbling activity …now it looks like a power struggle per these posts.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
11:43 am
@ Lioness – okay.
THE INFAMOUS DK
September 21st, 2009
11:43 am
Reality – And for the record there is only one person who calls me IDK.. Dont worry I dont hit women even if they are Bytches..
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
11:43 am
lol
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:44 am
In Leggs defense she does not seem to be saying that she would allow her daughter to mess around in the food and get what she wants and then the husband gets what is left. You have that part wrong.
Raqi – You it’s of your opinion I have it wrong. Leggs said so herself: She gets a chicken thigh (since we’re talking about chicken) and if he wants one, there’s one or two there for him as well.
That attitude doesn’t indicate respect for his position. And that’s just my take on it, and I’m entitled to it.
For Real
September 21st, 2009
11:44 am
Off topic: I got 4 suite level ticket at $75 each (including food) for the Atlanta Football Classic this Saturday. Let me know….
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:45 am
IDK is short for “I don’t know.” But hey maybe that shoe fit.
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
11:45 am
Leggs (11:32) post
The difference in age can also contribute to the difference in opinion.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:46 am
Raqi- I know you have more to come so I just tune in.. Interesting in a good way..
DK- You understood that BS??
Chink- That is what has me puzzled!
Chink
September 21st, 2009
11:46 am
Melo like your 11:42
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
11:46 am
@Raqi, exactly. That’s why my first post was different households to things differently. Yep.
@ARed ~ the spouse getting scraps…How the heck can there be scraps after one plate is served? Sheesh!
Thanks for getting
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
11:48 am
Classic time Real! Saturday, yes sur!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:49 am
Leggs calm down and read. Like I said I wasn’t talking about the spouse getting scraps, just like your gristle analogy. It doesn’t apply.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:50 am
This is HILARIOUS
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
11:52 am
But you know how I handle those situations Amazon? If the majority likes thighs buy a pack of thighs. If it’s wings, buy wings. That way everyone gets what they prefer or like. No one feels slighted.
Grace
September 21st, 2009
11:53 am
Hi Lioness how ya doing?
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
11:53 am
Can you seriously take away the “power” by serving someone last or first… I’m getting confused by the post on this subject… Just b/c some people including myself feeds the baby (a 3yr old) 1st doesn’t mean that we’er taking anything away from “the man” of the house… Now if my child was 15 or 16, he/she can fix their own plate. And we’re talking about a 1-2 minute window of who eats first… It’s really not that serious to get anyones boxers,briefs, panties, or thongs in a bunch…
If some people choose not to serve the “man” initially, there are surely other ways to show the “man” respect… lol
aggwitty
September 21st, 2009
11:54 am
Damn joe its just food and plates. Why yall putting so much on it?
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:55 am
No one feels slighted
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:55 am
Raqi- EXACTLY! WTH is the real deal?
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
11:55 am
@ ARed….Yeah, I respected his wishes…never had an issue about it since. Different strokes for different folks.
lol…@ Raqi….that burnt piece of bacon. I often see how many pieces were “cooked hard” (better way of saying burnt) and I make sure everyone gets a good piece and a hard piece……lol….this is so funny to me.
@ Chink…..yeah, it does sound like a power struggle now…..I just try to keep it all equal…..hell I cook a lot of food so there is enough to go around for seconds….and we eat the leftovers for lunch the next day.
THE INFAMOUS DK
September 21st, 2009
11:56 am
Thats the funnitest thing.. People think because they are stupid and believe anything that you are just as idiotic as them.. Its insutling actually. That they could dare to even insult your intelligence on any level. Come on step it up rookie and be more original.. Dont be a lazy ho be an amazing ho..
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:57 am
Grace- Hey Mamasita
Agg- OK!
DK-
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
11:57 am
This is HILARIOUS
@ Lioness I agree
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
11:58 am
2C – You knew it was coming…
Any randoms….?
Wise Diva
September 21st, 2009
11:58 am
Hey everyone! LOL @ serving plates. Too funny.
So do you guys think that a good parent means they will automatically make a good mate?
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:58 am
Just b/c some people including myself feeds the baby (a 3yr old) 1st doesn’t mean that we’er taking anything away from “the man” of the house…
Dream_n – So wouldn’t that apply to your kid too. Just because you feed your husband first, doesn’t mean you are taking anything away from your kid…right?
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
11:59 am
Lioness – Stopit with the
…did i do it right this time?
lol @ “damn joe”…
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
11:59 am
@ AmazonRed
i can’t..I just can’t…
This subject is done for me!! lmbo!!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:01 pm
LOL @ Dream_n. Yes, we do know how to run a topic into the ground.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
12:02 pm
…good parents do make good mates! Not saying those without kids are A1 either…
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
12:02 pm
So do you guys think that a good parent means they will automatically make a good mate?
Heck naw. I was a b1tch for quite some time.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:03 pm
WiseDiva – I guess you don’t care to weigh in on the “great serving plate debate?”
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
12:03 pm
@ 12:02 misspell are…i meant “aren’t”
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
12:04 pm
@ARed, I’m calm. Truly I am. We’ve had this conversation so many times in blogsville, I pretty much know where most stand. I good with each person’s preference because it’s not my home. We all dowhat’s comfortable for ourselves. The way I’m parenting lil leggs may not jive with the way another single female parent with one girl is parenting. That’s fine. We are all different for a reason.
Also ARed, thanks for the proper spelling of “gristle.” I knew that, but forgot and reverted to ebonic spelling.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:05 pm
So do you guys think that a good parent means they will automatically make a good mate?
With the numbers of single parents the way they are…probably not.
I had an ex who used to tell me that he knew he’d be a good father, but not a good husband.
He made ending the relationship a no-brainer. WTF!
Grace
September 21st, 2009
12:06 pm
Talking about who eats first, I have a friend who doesn’t even allow the kids to eat at the table with the adults. If my date is over for dinner he’s gets his food first b/c he’s a guest in my home, heck all my guests always get their food first.
Melo
September 21st, 2009
12:06 pm
Melo like your 11:42
ok…
u a girl or boy Chink..
i was gon say ok chica(
) uhgggg,yike!,not me! 
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
12:07 pm
And aggwit and WiseDiva it’s not the “plates” but the serving of those at the table and what’s behind it and how everyone feels.
My husband has never even made mention of he gotz to get his first. That is my doing because it’s how I saw it done growing up and it seemed to work well for my parents.
It is no different from the man holding the door. Heck you both have to walk thru it however most women expect for the man to hold the door for her to enter first. No difference.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
12:08 pm
Cee-
I can’t help it!! The passion behind that topic had to be laughed @ by someone 
Diva- So do you guys think that a good parent means they will automatically make a good mate?<– Sometimes..
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
12:09 pm
lol @ Licorice Ln.
Mytwo Yep…i’d be cognegro b/c….
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
12:09 pm
@ Wise Diva….I think a good parent can/ will make a good mate. The qualities of being a good parent (i.e. compassionate, kind, thoughtful, giving, sharing)…ideally are also good qualities to have in a mate. To everything in life, there has to be a balance. I do not desire to be a good mother and a poor wife…..or a good wife and a slacking mother….I desire to be my best in all the relationships that exist in my life , be it mother, wife, sister, daughter, etc. Time to fix lunch for the kiddies…
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:10 pm
We dont even do meals on the dinner table tgether except for weekend breakfast
melo – To each his own.
Chink
September 21st, 2009
12:10 pm
Uh Melo I am a female
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
12:11 pm
@ Lioness – I’m going to get me some fish and okra…but when i get back you betnot still be cheesin.
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
12:11 pm
@Wisey,
I don’t think parenting and mating are equal. Just because I am a kind, concern parent, doesn’t mean I will be a kind concerned mate. Children are developing and you have to have the patience of Job to deal with them. Adults..know better and I have little patience in fooling with one who alreadys knows but chooses to act differently
Melo
September 21st, 2009
12:22 pm
Now, i think we done on the topic,what more to discuss..??
Can we all talk about last nite rain now,coz booooy..we had a wonderbulous time!
(dont get jealous coz u werent booed up)
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:32 pm
melo – Was this the weekend you and the wife had the hotel? Which one did you chose? Glad you guys had a good time.
Wise Diva
September 21st, 2009
12:32 pm
Melo why do you think we want to hear about your bedroom activities from last night? I don’t want to hear that and I wouldn’t want to even if I was booed up LOL
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
12:32 pm
Kym, not just that. As a parent you are the authority. You say what goes and doesn’t. You call the shots. The kid just fall in line.
The problem with a lot of parents getting into new relationships as I know so well is being able to step out of mother shoes and put on equal mate shoes. Yeah have had to catch myself a time or two to remember my husband is my husband, my equal partner and not one of my kids. When you are used to being the one that call all the shots you have to learn how to lay that down when it comes to getting into a relationship. The attributes that make you a good parent can wreck a relationship.
Also as we already talked about being a good parent and concerned for your kids can lead to putting your kids before your mate. We all should want what is best for our kids but we should not let it dictate our entire lives. Sometimes jr. has to wait.
But on the good side being a good parent helps in the matter of considering someone else’s feelings, needs and wants over and above your own. It give you a nurturing attitude that leads you to care for your mate. Just don’t baby them. LOL
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
12:33 pm
Amazon Red- You are a bit over the top today..Very aggressive..everything ok??
However, I COMPLETELY agree with it. Also I think it has something to do with the way you were raised and by BOTH parents. This can go back to ROLE in a marriage.
Also I would like to add. that this only applies to a husband. I mean really I would not have random dude in front of my child so whoever will be well respected.
Having a child it before a adult shows that child that they ARE equals. It’s not about saying the child is less..its just an unconscious thing that let them know that adults should be respected. And respect authority which from the blog I can see why thats the main problem with our youth. They are not taught to RESPECT anyone.
Yeah I know a bunch of you will get your panties in a bunch..but that’s my position on this blog..to tell the TRUTH!!
Ms.Sunshine
September 21st, 2009
12:35 pm
If you are child-free, do you prefer to date other people who are too?
I previously did. If a man had a kid, I walked, no, RAN in the other direction. I wasn’t about to have to deal with a baby mama thinking I want her kid when I have my own reproductive organs and if I wanted a kid, I could have one. (Yeah, I had ideas already.lol)
Have you ever dated a person who had children before? What do you think is the best advice to someone who is dating someone with children?
Yes, my SO has a 10yr old son. I’m completely in love with this man and I’m so glad that this one time I took a chance and left the “No Kids” rule alone. This is the first time I’ve ever been in love and it’s wonderful.
As far as advice for dating someone with a kid, I have a different situation since his son lives in a neighboring state, but you have to be accomodating. As far as dealing with the mom/dad of the child, you really don’t have to deal with them. That’s her/his job, not yours. Thankfully, my ship with the mom has been smooth sailing, but if it gets rocky, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to stay.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:38 pm
Amazon Red- You are a bit over the top today..Very aggressive..everything ok??
Blow – Everything is fine with me. Once again, your perception is not my reality. I had one of the best weekends ever and it’s a nice relaxing rainy day.
Good stuff on the rest of your post tho.
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
12:39 pm
Sorry blog I screwed that one up! Just read past all the TYPOS!
Ms.Sunshine
September 21st, 2009
12:40 pm
Oh, and when I do get married, we will come first for each other, not the children. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Some people put their lives into their kids. I understand you love them, but it’s a little too much when your husband is put o nthe back burner. Maybe I’m weird, but kids aren’t the end all, be all of a person’s life…but then, I bet ppl with kids will say I don’t know because I don’t have any yet. Nah, I’m pretty hardcore with kids. Kids aren’t adults. Don’t speak to me while I’m talking to another adult, wait until I finish.etc.etc.
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
12:40 pm
Three Words Daily – Storms don’t last.
Melo
September 21st, 2009
12:40 pm
Was this the weekend you and the wife had the hotel?
No Ared,i am planning that for her birthday,on Oct 9 or the week end of it.
WD..OK,it wld have been nice if uall liked rain like i do..i get real giddy when its rains at nite,like im a kid or sme.
Now,whenever it rains on a friday or weekend satrday,my 11yr old dghter and I like to sleep on the floor,in the living room..
We drag the whole fam down there on the floor..
Queen hates it..but im partial to my daghter..
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
12:42 pm
@Blow..sorry but the problem with our youth has more parts than just Dorrie gets her chicken before Bob. Our youth are in trouble because of factors wayyy more deep than that. Alot of the youth have no parents at home and the one they do have doesn’t care if they have a chicken leg or a chicken gizzard because they have little to no respect for themselves. Also, not all those in authority deserve respect. Respect is earned not a given. If a person is carrying themselves in a manner that is disrespectful, then I don’t care what title they hold, they will never earn that respect.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
12:44 pm
Kym- I DO agree!!
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
12:44 pm
Don’t speak to me while I’m talking to another adult, wait until I finish<– That goes for kids AND adults! I can't STAND rude ppl!!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
12:48 pm
Blow I agree with you. There are so many kids today that have not respect for authority meaning an adult that is not their immediate parent. And it is the parents fault.
Heck if Jr. is not made to respect the woman that his father marry he is not going to respect his teacher at school.
Any parent that brings another adult into their lives and house and lead the kid to believe just because it’s not your birth parent you do not have to respect them is creating a problem for themselves. Any time a parent marry or live with another adult and a child is present that other adult should have a certain amount of disciplinary rights. If not that child will take advantage of that person and more than likely ruin your relationship. Not to mention when the other parents is constantly rehearsing in the child’s ear that there parent’s spouse is not your mother/father. I don’t care what my son’s father tells him, little midget man knows he is going to respect my husband. He is a grown man, not one of his school buddies.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:48 pm
melo – Yes, I do like rain on a weekend when I am boo’d up and can stay in and make the most of it.
Otherwise, it blows chunks.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:49 pm
Raqi’s 12:48 should be bronzed.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
12:52 pm
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
12:52 pm
When I was with Shthead, seems as if I remember fixing both plates in the kitchen and delivering to the table at the same time. I would go further to say that, IMO, it really doesn’t matter who is fed when as long as everybody eats. (And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.)
As a childless chick, the issue that I see with SOME single mothers (especially the much younger ones) that I know is that they are not as into developing their parenting skills as I, a childless chick, think they should be.
As far as single fathers that I have observed, SOME are content being the every other weekend dude and do not give enough thought to the fact that they are responsible for the development of their children.
I often say that SOME single parents are not RAISING kids, instead they have children who LIVE WITH THEM.
NOTE: I SAID SOME IN EVERY STATEMENT. No broadstroking here.
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
12:58 pm
@ Raqi…your 12:48 is exactly HOW & WHY relationships with single parents CAN & DO work!!!!! There has to be that understanding and respect between the kids and the adults. I have an almost 13 year soon-to-be step daughter and from day one, It was made known that she would be disciplined just as my 3 children were. My kids also had the understanding that Jay would discipline them as he saw fit as well. Any misconceptions about what Mom/Dad said I could do or let me do, were quickly nipped in the bud.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:00 pm
seems as if I remember fixing both plates in the kitchen and delivering to the table at the same time
SexyCool – But you still had to fix one over the other first…so who was it, the man or the chids?
(yes, I know I’m being extra, it’s slow right now
)
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
1:00 pm
There are so many kids today that have not respect for authority meaning an adult that is not their immediate parent. And it is the parents fault.
You can bronze everything else but this statement… Why do so many people blame the child’s action on the parents (this may be the case for some). My sis, bro, and I all grew up in the same house hold under the same rules, was given the same love, and the same time
… but you would think my bro was raised from a pack of wolves.. that dude is the total opposite from my sis and I. Look at the “preachers” kid…. how many times have you heard this scenario.. They grew up w/a church background… singing in the choir… mom and dad were devout christians..but daughter turned out to be a walking “headache” for the parents… I believe that you can raise a kid with good morals, values, and beliefs, but in the end when they become adults or teenagers… it’s up to the individual to make the right decisions…. So do we blame all murder’s actions on their parents??? I’m sure not all murderers come from a “bad” lifestyle. Just my opinion…
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
1:01 pm
Well Lioness you just a lil rebel hunh?
Lol…lemme get my Lemon Torte/dessert…my blood sugar low..brb.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:04 pm
Why do so many people blame the child’s action on the parents
DreamN…so who is to blame then?
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
1:06 pm
Is this a serious question or ar you just being extra again lmbo!!!
I kid I kid…
It’s up to the individual to apply what has been taught to them into their everyday life…..
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
1:07 pm
@Dream I agree not all people in jail are from broken homes, mistreated by family members. I think I read last week a young man stabbed his mother in the back after a disagreement about going out or something. He went to hug her and then stabbed her. All because mom said no to something he wanted. Sometimes little Bobo is just bad as hell.
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
1:09 pm
@Dreams you beat me to it. “Sometimes life little screw ups are all on you.”
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
1:09 pm
Cee- Couldn’t help it chica
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:10 pm
It was a serious question cuz you said the “childs” actions. A child is still in your care, which means you shouldn’t allow for bad behavior. So when a CHILD acts up…who is to blame? Serious question.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
1:11 pm
Why does Publix brand yogurt have so much sugar in it??
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
1:16 pm
@ Lioness – I know you couldn’t sis.
I have too much time today…all the workers are leaving…more schools are closing and …my boss was not expecting me, so imma act accordingly.
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
1:17 pm
A child is still in your care, which means you shouldn’t allow for bad behavior. So when a CHILD acts up…who is to blame?
If you decipline your child and teach them what to do and what not to do, then it’s the child.. as Kym said: Sometimes little Bobo is just bad as hell.
Question to you:
What if you took all the necessary precautions to instill morals into your child as they are growing up.. you taught them right from wrong, disciplined when necessary, gave all the speeched until you turned blue in the face to them….. Their 18.. commit a crime where they have to go to jail… Are you going to jump in and say “NO!! Take me instead I must have not did something right…. please… little Bobo has to learn that HIS actons has consequences.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
1:17 pm
You talk’n ’bout my Publix Harpo?
Yogurt is high in sugar anyway…just gon’ and have your double scoop of ice-cream.
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
1:19 pm
ARed, your 1p. Too funny.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:20 pm
Are you going to jump in and say “NO!! Take me instead I must have not did something right…. please
No, but I will acknowledge that I had a role in his upbringing and that there is quite possibly some fault in me.
In turn, I’m more than happy to give my parents the credit for raising me to be an excellent human being. I’m just their living example.
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
1:21 pm
@Amazon I may begin to sound like my grandmother here because I am pretty sure President Obama was talking like his grandmother/mother too when he gave his speech last week.
If your parents are providing you with all the essentials to go to school, the teachers are providing you with the lessons, then at some point if you don’t get the lesson, if you fail to do your work, then that fail is on you. That is a life lesson, and you must suffer the price of not heeding the advice, wisdom of those who tried to teach you. For some reason people think parenting is about making your kid do something. Nope, the trick is getting the child to do it because they want to.
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
1:25 pm
You can’t enstill character/morals into a person if they don’t want it. While growing up you’ll see remmnants of it. When an adult, and wind up on the wrong side of the law, it’s not that you necessarily did something wrong….Some children actually have 666 branded somewhere on their person!
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
1:25 pm
Dream n- 90% of murders come from broken homes. fyi
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
1:27 pm
lol…jst read WiseDiva response to Melo wanting to share his and Queens w/e juants.
Hayo no!
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
1:30 pm
This is going to HILARIOUS too
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:30 pm
If your parents are providing you with all the essentials to go to school, the teachers are providing you with the lessons, then at some point if you don’t get the lesson, if you fail to do your work, then that fail is on you.
And lets not act like all these parents are providing that. And it’s clear some parents are ENABLERS!
Those crazy stories you read on the news are not always cuz the parents did everything right. You can give your kid too much too, which is the rope they use to come and hang you with.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:31 pm
Some children actually have 666 branded somewhere on their person!
I’d say that was the exception rather than the rule tho.
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
1:32 pm
@ Leggs…Mark of the beast..My food at Zaxby’s Friday totalled $6.66…my heart skipped a beat…I had to say an extra blessing over my food.
But, yeah, I agree you can train up a child in the way they should go, but that does not mean they will not stray away from what they were taught.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
1:32 pm
not laughing for real..
But for real when does Mary J’s new one come out?
Mo
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
1:35 pm
@JtJ ~ Proverbs (22:6)
Melo
September 21st, 2009
1:35 pm
If it rains again like it did last nite, i think even some solid homes are gon wash away!
So far,only some mobile homes are reported to be in some trble and pple are hanging onto trees etc and some toddlers missing.
Just dont seem real in America.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:36 pm
Come on now…you know most of the little piece of shyt kids you know have piece of shyt parents. Come on now.
We have this one kid that was breaking in houses in his own damn subdivision. He got caught and neighbors went to his house to confront his mother…who got all ignorant insisting that is wasn’t her son. Too bad the fingerprints said otherwise.
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
1:37 pm
Ok, here’s a clue…if you guys should see 666 one more time today before 6:45, play it!
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
1:37 pm
@Amazon you can give more or less. Little or alot. But you can not control the outcome of your child’s life. I know we all love to think we are the wonderful darlings that have made our parents proud. But newsflash at some point in your short existence you have disappointed your parent. You did not show up and show out the way they hoped. Matter of fact if your parent(s) knew half of the things you have done, will do, or are thinking about doing, I am pretty sure they would not approved and be damn if they are going to take blame for your personal screw ups.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
1:37 pm
JtJ upon hearing the total I would have order something else just to change the amount. LOL
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
1:38 pm
Come on now…you know most of the little piece of shyt kids you know have piece of shyt parents<– I knew it was only a matter of time before I was
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
1:39 pm
Raqi- I would have too! Some zax sauce or something
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:40 pm
Matter of fact if your parent(s) knew half of the things you have done, will do, or are thinking about doing, I am pretty sure they would not approved
Kym – You’d be wrong about that one. Cuz even as an adult I make decisions with my parents lessons in mind.
Not like I don’t get your point, but my take is simply different.
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
1:40 pm
**And lets not act like all these parents are providing that. And it’s clear some parents are ENABLERS!
Those crazy stories you read on the news are not always cuz the parents did everything right. You can give your kid too much too, which is the rope they use to come and hang you with**
HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO PREACH! Don’t talk about it! Please dont go there girl. Don’t!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:41 pm
Grace
September 21st, 2009
1:42 pm
Spare the rod, spoil the child – Some children are deemed to be bad no matter what parenting skills you have. My son’s teacher called me up one day and said “I don’t know what you’re doing but whatever you’re doing please continue, your child is so respectable, I’ve never had a child say Yes/no ma’am to me and Yes/no sir to the male teachers” the following w/e my daughter had a sleep over when I called for her she said as she usually does ma’am? her gf giggled and says “why do you say ma’am to your mom? my daughter goes because it’s much more respectful than saying what or huh?” I just smiled! with respect comes obedient.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
1:43 pm
Kym you are correct. I know I have done somethings that disappointed my parents.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
1:43 pm
Melo – My co-worker left after lunch because her “secure system” called and told her and her hubby that the basment alarm was triggered…she thinks there maybe water dmg…THEN, both her kids school closed, but before she could go get them she has to find them….the school forwarded a calling post that the kids will be transported to “dry” schools in the area…so she has to check the website or call the school.
wow
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
1:43 pm
AmazonR..I know a mega church pastor with a son with a felony record. He robbed everybody including his parents. I know a guy with a felony record who’s parents are two of the most upstanding citizens you would ever want to meet. Married 30 plus years, but their son was not worth two quarters rubbed together. Heck look at the children of Martin Luther King, they are in court now..acting brand new. How about Buzzy Jackson..I remember one year Buzzy stayed on the front page of the local newspaper. The list goes on and on.
Mo (aka Moeisha )
September 21st, 2009
1:46 pm
Cemeeli – I dont know about Mary’s new cd yet but Im working on it
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:46 pm
Heck look at the children of Martin Luther King, they are in court now…
That’s not a good example to me. And again, you’re posting acceptions, not rules and we hardly know the full story with any of them.
Let’s agree to disagree.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:47 pm
Grrr… “exceptions.”
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
1:49 pm
I don’t care how you put it… You can be the best parent you can be… or even the worst parent you can be… Ai the end of the day, there is that all to familiar word that we like to call “choice”. You have a choice. You have a choice to be an upstanding citizen or you have to choice to take the other route…. I am not going to take nor would I want my parents to take responsibility over the actions that I choose to take. But again that’s the beauty of blogs.. You get to voice your opinion and hear others even if they conflict…. at the end of the day.. I respect everyone’s opinion
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
1:51 pm
Do you think OJ’s mother raised him to be the conceited, self righteous man he is today…yep. Do you think is mother enabled him….yep. Do you think his mother raised him to turn into a killer cuz he couldn’t control is anger/jealously…nope! Grown folk can’t control the actions of grown folk!
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
1:51 pm
ARED- I must admit you are on point today!
We don’t know how those kids were raised…
I AM GETTIN THE FEELING THE BLOG FAMILY HAS SOME BAD A$$ KIDS!!!
You can always tell who doesn’t have control over their child. They the first ones defending why they are sooooo bad.
They are bad because its YOUR fault!!
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
1:51 pm
Shawty by Nature a.k.a. Mo That’s what’s up….you been cool?
Melo
September 21st, 2009
1:53 pm
Cemeeli,what county do the kids school in?
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
1:53 pm
Raqi of course we all have. None of us are perfect. Our parents didnt expect perfect children. I know the mini me at my house is far from it. But I love the little doof just the same. Some stuff real life is going to have to kick him in the teeth with. Hopefully when he leaves my care he will know enough to get his tail back up.
Amazon alright lets get real unless I miss my guess you are not a virgin. Pretty sure you have been around the mulberry bush with more than one guy. But were you not one of the ones who’s parents told her wait until you get married? If not, do you think if you went in and sat down with your dad and told him how many times you have been around the mulberry bush and with how many guys he approved? So does that make your dad a bad father? or your mother a bad mother? Is it their fault you went in the bushes in the first place?
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:53 pm
Do you think his mother raised him to turn into a killer cuz he couldn’t control is anger/jealously…
Looks like someone missed the point. *sigh*
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
1:56 pm
@ Melo – in Cobb/Vinings.
I’m leaving in a few as well….echem…Boss’s orders
..but since my kid is not in co. school i’m leaving him at school, then i’ll pick up after study hall time.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:56 pm
Kym – I’m not ‘bad’ for not being a virgin, you your example makes no sense anyway.
They did teach me that sex is for marriage. But they also knew that abstinance only was unrealistic, especially since they were not virgins either upon marrying. So they taught me to save it for someone I felt was special, and I have.
So to me, you just illustrated thier good parenting.
And yes, if I wanted to tell them about how many times I’d been around the mulberry bush, I would, because I’ve lived their example.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
1:57 pm
Cee- You live by my FAVORITE Publix!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
1:57 pm
I still say parenting skills or lack thereof have some bearing on the way individuals turn out. Often those who are in the public eye have to devote so much time to their ‘outside’ pursuits that something goes awry. And sometimes, it is their children.
Right now, I have a gf who is a fairly successful business owner who has an 18 year old son who is a major slacker and she can’t figure out why. She is the queen of getting things on a hookup but wonders why her son could get caught passing merchandise out of the back door of the store that he was working at. She has never made him stick to anything – always allowing him to quit or forever trying to help him find an easier way to get something done. And wonders why he doesn’t have any dreams or aspirations. (And I could go on.)
I finally had to say to her that he is exactly who YOU raised him to be. She got ticked at me. I then told her that it was best she didn’t discuss him with me. Why? Cause I ain’t got no damn kids so I’m the last person to tell you how to raise yours.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
1:58 pm
I AM GETTIN THE FEELING THE BLOG FAMILY HAS SOME BAD A$$ KIDS!!!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
1:59 pm
BlowMe, yeah I was talking about kids in my comment. Not the adult that they grow up to be. If my kids living in my house have no respect for my husband and any other adult authority that’s would be on me.
He knows when he goes to school, church, soccer practice or a friend’s house he better act like it’s either Mason or myself standing there.
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
1:59 pm
**Dream n** If what you say is really the truth…You might as well give up now…Since its the CHILD’S choice. I mean really. If you go to a jail or prison how many ppl in there do you were raised in a good home w/ both parents with morals, love, and discipline???? Lets be real ppl
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
2:00 pm
How can the point be missing if one is talking about parenting and how their children turn out? No matter if examples are extreme or on point, the point isn’t lost!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
2:01 pm
he better act like it’s either Mason or myself standing there.
That ish can really work sometimes! I remember when your boy broke his arm(?), the calling out of his stupidity was classic. But I bet he thought twice about doing that again. LOL
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
2:01 pm
Supernanny is OFF THE CHAIN!! Gets my blood pressure up early in the morning
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
2:04 pm
Leggs – because implying that a parent is raising their child to be a murderer is ridiculous. But you can point to some unchecked behavior as a gateway to how signs not being recognized.
And again, the exception is getting more attention than the rule. But okay. Y’all have at it.
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
2:04 pm
And my point is **RAQI** Do you think MIDGET MAN is going to stray far away from how you raised him???? The chances of that are slim to none!
Once its taught and breeded in him and he has fear. It’s not going no where. I was a good child because I feared my parents…especially my father. If that man had to leave his job for me or my brother…We would get beat to a pulp…I was not taking no chances with that..My dad was a beast..I know how he was when he got mad. A gorilla!! lmao!
Not only that I respected him. I did not understand or like it..But I did respect him. Certain things my parents would not stand for. I was not perfect..but I did know which line not to cross.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
2:05 pm
My neighbor has a new born…i’m going to visit the stay at home mom…imma take her a treat…
Then i’m listening to some music and read! Love it!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
2:07 pm
There is this one little boy that comes to the house sometimes and he talks back. Makes you wanna slap kid. But it’s his parents fault. They allow him to talk back at them. And I remind him that I am not his mother and I have sent him home more than once.
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
2:07 pm
@Lioness ~ There have been times where I had to turn away from that show. Many times lil leggs and I have watched, and she would turn to me saying things like, “Mommy you would not tolerate that” or “I would be seriously hurt if I did that”. I can only shake my head Yes. Sometimes no need for words!
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
2:07 pm
Cee- What you reading??
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
2:08 pm
AmazonRed I didn’t say you were bad for not being a virgin. You just said that your parents taught you to save yourself for someone special. So if you have passed the number one special and moved on to the number two special? Then on to the number three special. Is it their fault you have felt so many fellows were that special someone or is that your own bad judgment?
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
2:09 pm
Okay… maybe we are talking about 2 different things (scenarios)… If you read back.. my posts are mainly about growing up and making decisions based upon what you’ve been taught in your childhood..
Ans sorry no.. not giving up… I pray that my child grows up to make the right decisions in her life that contributes to her success as a woman/mother/wife….
If she has stumbling blocks down the road then I’m not going to look back and think damn at age 5 when she said that maybe i should have disciplined her different..lol no i’m not going to do that..
Are there women/men out there who are raising their children to be the polar opposite of respectful YES….so when they grow up to be civil human beings with morals … Who takes credit then???
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
2:10 pm
BlowMe that’s my prayer. I hope he doesn’t. I know he will make his mistakes in life but my goal now is to give him and that knucklehead in Michigan a good foundation.
My oldest made his share of mistakes and will make more, but I think he is a pretty good kid. Very respectful and mannerable. Never been to juvenile and I hope never goes to jail.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
2:10 pm
Kym – That wasnt their point. They taught me to respect who I share myself with and I have. The numbers are small for that reason as well. They didn’t say only have ONE special person. That wasn’t the lesson. The lesson was to have respect for myself and I have.
Again, your point doesn’t make sense.
Willie Dynamite
September 21st, 2009
2:11 pm
Afternoon All,
Not much to add to the topic. I’m just enjoying the show. This is classic, Folks who cant get/keep a SO giving relationship advice. And now folks who dont have kids giving parenting advice on how lil johnny is gon turn out. Funny
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
2:12 pm
Now Elizabeth? You all pray FOR me.
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
2:12 pm
Your parents build the foundation. You build the house. Some parents build foundations with cracks, others build solid foundations. I know folks with cracked foundations(backgrounds) who have built mult-million dollar homes. And I know folks with iron foundations who have built outhouses. Some stuff is on you.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
2:12 pm
But it’s his parents fault. They allow him to talk back at them.
And when he starts making those mistakes as an adult…we’ll be able to look back. Yes, it’s still his choice to continue down the path, but it started at home.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
2:14 pm
“Sunday Brunch Diaries” by Norma Jarrett
…started this one Friday i wanna finish tonight so i can grab the next on my list.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
2:14 pm
Willie-
Raqi- Is she just a spicy little cutie or what??
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
2:14 pm
Who is giving advice? It’s a exchange of ideas.
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
2:18 pm
One of my gf’s just called me. Her subdivision is flooding. Water is coming up her street. She opted out of flood coverage.
Melo
September 21st, 2009
2:21 pm
She opted out of flood coverage
Yeah Sxcool,penny pinching is a muthafckker!
i wldnt choose to buy a house in a flood plain tho,regardless im offered flood insurance.
To much hastle.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
2:21 pm
The basics or lack there of does start at home. And it is the parents fault when they lack.
Good morning, thank you, please, excuse me, yes ma’am, no sir, may I are all learned as a child.
Everytime I encounter another adult that will not speak back or is just damn rude, yep it’s the mothers fault.
You know WiseDiva being a good parent does not automatically make you a good mate, but a certain type of parent sure helps mold your kid for the mate he/she may or may not be.
My dad always tell me to raise my boys to be good husbands and fathers. Make ‘em work. Make responsible.
Now it does not guarantee that they will be but the chances are better given the right start.
Grace
September 21st, 2009
2:22 pm
Raqi @2:07 I’ve gone thru the same thing, I will send a child home quick if he/she’s disrespectful. When my sons friends come over if they don’t speak I check them each and everytime, not in a chastising way but in a manner that they understand. I’ve had a reoccuring problem with one of my neighor’s son since, I explained to him the proper way to enter into someone else’s home by greeting them I haven’t had that problem since. It does take a village to raise a child!
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
2:23 pm
ARed I only have your word that your number is small and that your parents would approved of the number. If you were truly following your parents advice why not follow it to the letter and wait until marriage. They set their wishes in motion. You choose to do your own thang. When it blew up it was not their fault its yours. Same goes for someone who grew up(which we all did) knowing not to steal, but then they get caught stealing. The knowledge is there the application of that knowledge..err not so much. That is not daddy’s fault, that’s on you.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
2:24 pm
If you were truly following your parents advice why not follow it to the letter and wait until marriage.
For the third time: That. wasn’t. their. advice.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
2:26 pm
Kym really, you need to pick a point that was relevant. Cuz the virgin thing is only proving mine.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
2:27 pm
Well it was my parent’s suggestion and I did differently. You know why? What mother nature was saying sounded a whole lot better than what momz and the house was saying.
Willie Dynamite
September 21st, 2009
2:27 pm
I’ll give my exchange of ideas regarding parenting. There really isn’t a fail proof way of doing things. My brother and myself were raised together the exact same way. He is a certified gangsta whereas I’m a productive member of society. I dont think our mother is/was responsible for him turning out that way. He made those choices. Parenting is a thankless job. If done right then guess what you are suppossed to do it right. If done wrong then shame on you.
Some people have a notion that if you are not parenting this way or that way then you are wrong. There is no Raising Kids 101 manual. The way you were raised may not be the best way to raise your child. Times change. You cant go around beating kids the way some of us got beat. At the same time we know that a simple Time-Out is not gon work either. At any rate the things that dont change have to be the foundation. Morals and values do not change or compromise.
aggwitty
September 21st, 2009
2:28 pm
OJ AINT KILL NOBODY!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
2:30 pm
Raising Kids 101 manual…
Nevermind. That would spark a whole other debate for those who believe differently.
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
2:30 pm
Wow! Ared come on…You mean your parents told you to share that special thing without having a husband. Now that is something I have NEVER heard.
Every parent should tell their child to wait til marriage. It’s just the right thing to do.
MsM
September 21st, 2009
2:30 pm
In what order do grown (30+ yrs) fall?
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
2:31 pm
certified gangsta<– Where is Dan today?
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
2:32 pm
ARed I have moved on to incompatibility and divorce. It is obvious no matter the example in your mind you are the perfect child. You have nor never will be a disappointment to your parents. That’s your mindset and frankly like Willie D said there is not much knowledge to be gleem from someone who has no children and can only relate to being a child and not a parent. If you sit with your parents and really talk to them I am sure they see with a different set of eyes. Good day to ya!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
2:34 pm
You mean your parents told you to share that special thing without having a husband. Now that is something I have NEVER heard.
^ Extra.
They told me that sex was special, and that I shouldn’t give it to just anyone and at the end of the day to respect myself. And I have.
Again, they realized that abstinance only was not realistic. Which is why I’m not Bristol Palin. I grew up knowing what the Bible said, I also grew up knowing that I’d also fall short, from time to time so to always consider the consequences of my actions.
So far, it’s served me well.
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
2:35 pm
certified gangsta<– Where is Dan today?
lol
Raising Kids 101 manual…
Nevermind. That would spark a whole other debate for those who believe differently.
Please don't Raqi please lol!!!!
Willie Dynamite
: nice post
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
2:36 pm
There is no Raising Kids 101 manual!
Youa lie! when that 9lbs 12oz was put in my arms and wanted that milk…. AND it calmed his and my world when i obliged!…i swore fo’ God i was gone stay on the grind for him if i didn’t for myself…
What up WillieD?
aggwitty
September 21st, 2009
2:36 pm
LOL @ the back and forth in here. Yall folks will take a statement and make it be something it aint.
“you want it to be one way, when its the other” – Marlo Stansfield
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
2:36 pm
ARed I have moved on to incompatibility and divorce. It is obvious no matter the example in your mind you are the perfect child. You have nor never will be a disappointment to your parents. That’s your mindset
Nope Kym, you came up with that on your own. You’re example simply didn’t fit. That’s all.So until you can see what’s actually written and not what you have made up in your head, good day to you as well.
I mean, not like their is much to gleem for you either just because you decided to get knocked up. In any case, that’s not really the purpose of this board anyway.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
2:37 pm
@ Willie – I’m just stirrin’…gots time to kill…don’t mind c.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
2:37 pm
Cee- 9lbs 12oz <–
WTH??
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
2:37 pm
I also grew up knowing that I’d also fall short, from time to time so to always consider the consequences of my actions.
So when you fall… Who takes fault???
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
2:37 pm
Grace yeah it takes a village. The problem today is back when we were growing up parents and adults stood together. We were not allowed to run home and tell on our teachers to our parents unless they did something clearly unkosher. But now you have parents wanting to fight the teachers because the teacher tried to discipline that badazz kid the constantly disrupts the class.
You can’t speak to a child these days even for their own safety without some parents wanting to cuss you out or shoot you.
BackandAtIt
September 21st, 2009
2:37 pm
AmazonRed, you miss the forest for the trees. Meaning, you miss the point because you are stuck on the minor details. Two people can have totally opposite upbringings, one the best and one the worst. The person with the worst upbringing can go on to do great things. The one with the best can end up in prison. It’s an individual’s choice to take his or her destiny in own hand. You can say these examples are extremes and exceptions to the rule, but I say we all have the capability to be exceptional in our own way. We are all created equal, but not the same.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
2:39 pm
So when you fall… Who takes fault???
Sometimes them, sometimes me, sometimes the alcohol.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
2:40 pm
Backandatit – You’re entitled to your opinion.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
2:40 pm
Correction: The problem today is things are not like they were when we were growing up……
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
2:40 pm
@ Lioness…i thought about that again, too. Dang!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
2:41 pm
9lbs 12oz OUCH!!!!
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
2:42 pm
Hey, WillieD! @Cee, I forgot to nod your way…hey girl!
@aggwitty, stop shouting. Those that disagree may wake up throwing stones (J/K).
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
2:43 pm
~ Have a good evenin’ folks!
Be careful out there…don’t cmplty stop… yes, drive your cars…but be cautious.
Willie Dynamite
September 21st, 2009
2:43 pm
Similac – whats up Mitlady. Glad to read ya. Hope all is well on your end with the Lil(big) man.
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
2:44 pm
**Raqi**
Well it was my parent’s suggestion and I did differently. You know why? What mother nature was saying sounded a whole lot better than what momz and the house was saying.
OMGOSH…That was funny but I totally feel ya?
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
2:46 pm
@WillieD – That dude is ’bout tall as me @ 10 y/o!
lol @ MitLady…I was at the BusyBee and this dude…anyway Good reading you.
Willie Dynamite
September 21st, 2009
2:46 pm
Hey Leggs, how you makin it?
Chink
September 21st, 2009
2:47 pm
we all have the capability to be exceptional in our own way.
^5
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
2:51 pm
Sometimes, it’s just exceptionally crappy.
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
2:52 pm
My boss said I can leave an hour early just in case I have trouble getting home! Yay, been with him for 13 years and this is the first time he’s been this generous! It’s pitch black over here.
Willie Dynamite
September 21st, 2009
2:53 pm
Leggs- Be careful, I just came thru your neck of the woods and its very ugly out there.
Chink
September 21st, 2009
2:55 pm
Everyone have safe travels home …it doesnt look pretty.
2CPTG
September 21st, 2009
2:56 pm
Sexy…while you wet, I’m burnin’ the fugg up out here!!! Lawd Jeezus, and I thought Florida was hot!
somebody send me a plate…..since errbody done ate by now!!!!! too funny!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
2:57 pm
I was just about to post that my boss scheduled a meeting for 4:30 and give him a
but the VP just told us we can leave now! *dancing jig*
2CPTG
September 21st, 2009
2:58 pm
And Diva, good parents make excellent mates……..conversely, good mates don’t always make good parents!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
2:59 pm
2CPTG where are you located? West coast?
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
3:01 pm
The weather out west was PERFECT this weekend but I heard a heat wave was coming.
Willie Dynamite
September 21st, 2009
3:01 pm
I’ll co Sign that 2:58. To me thats closer to true than any other scenario.
THE INFAMOUS DK
September 21st, 2009
3:02 pm
2Can – Whats the deal Player..
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
3:03 pm
but I totally feel ya
BlowMe that’s what I tried to tell my knucklehead son. I may not know what it is to be a man, but I know nature and how it acts. That girl he got pregnant was almost 2 years older than him so I tried to talk to him based on what I knew was going on with her. But what did I know as far as he was concerned.
2CPTG
September 21st, 2009
3:03 pm
at the moment, yes, Raqi…….
What it do, DK….boy I see you over there!!!!
Grace
September 21st, 2009
3:05 pm
I think that if parents would not only teach their child(ren) how to love others inside the house/family but outside of the home and family as well things might be a lil bit better.
THE INFAMOUS DK
September 21st, 2009
3:06 pm
2can – cosigning your post 2:58 post because before I had the dude I had no patience.. Now I have the patience of Job..
Im just making sure my son has respect and a healthy fear of “My Daddy gone kill me” if he gets into trouble. Im just holding him accountable for his actions. My Dad did it to me but where I think he went wrong is he just worked on the fear part and never showed the love part. Whenever I punish my Son I let him know why and I dont just resprt to a beating everytime.. I gauge the situation and see whats going on..
THE INFAMOUS DK
September 21st, 2009
3:08 pm
…. And I let him know I love him is why Im punishing him and although he doesnt understand now he will later. I also let him know everytime I drop him off for school that daddy loves him because most children that do wrong dont think anyone loves them..
Willie Dynamite
September 21st, 2009
3:12 pm
DK – Thats the part that missing nowadays to me. Most of us were raised with a healthy dose of the Fear factor. Times have changed and that line has moved a lil bit. My 13 yr old has a healthy dose the fear in him cause he knows what I’m bout. He also knows that its not idle fear. We can sit down and talk about some things. Sometimes I’m interested in seeing why he chose one route over the other. Not saying he dont get snatched up cause more than likely he will depending on the issues. I just want to understand and hopefully him being able to explain will give him a better understanding of the situation and how it sounds on the out side looking in.
2CPTG
September 21st, 2009
3:12 pm
You already know, DK….’specially for a man that GIVES A DAMN about his; same things he practices with his young’ns he should also practice with ‘ol girl……and ‘ol girl entails wifey aspirant, not just any chic.
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
3:13 pm
Im just making sure my son has respect and a healthy fear of “My Daddy gone kill me” if he gets into trouble. Im just holding him accountable for his actions.” EXACTLY, a healthy dosage. Enuf to make them afraid of you and God and enough that they can still play around with you and not walk around on eggshells…they know they are loved and they feel they are loved.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
3:14 pm
Heck sometimes I wished my dad would have whipped me instead of “talking about it”. A whipping lasted a couple of minutes. Those talks seemed like the lasted for hours.
2CPTG
September 21st, 2009
3:17 pm
Actually Raqi, those talks should last a lifetime!!!
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
3:18 pm
My mom STILLS has that fear over me
Growing up, she would give me a LOOK and I KNEW to straightened my tail up ASAP!!
Angie
September 21st, 2009
3:19 pm
hi ev1! have a pleasant week.
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
3:19 pm
Company-wide notice….we are shutting down…Gd nite!
Please be careful everyone…Roll call will be done tomorrow morning! If you’re not present please have your rep state you’re ok!
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
3:20 pm
I had a healthy dose of fear for the ass whuppin’ my grandma was going to put on me fore stepping out of line. It never occurred to me that I was respecting her.
As I have aged, one of the measures for my behaviour has become the benchmarks my parents and grandmother set. I still say that there is little that I will do that I would not do in front of my parents or tell my parents about. Fortunately, I have some cool ass parents and that gives me a wide berth. (teasing, kinda)
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
3:24 pm
Leggs that’s why I appreciated my father being the male in my sons lives back then. He was not just interested in the disciplining but he was active in their lives in everything. He spent time with them and taught them about life on their young levels at the time. He took them fishing and to ball games. They loved him and respected. They knew he would get them when they did something wrong but they also knew he loved them and loved doing things with them.
That’s what I also appreciate about Mason now with both of my sons. He just speaks to them both and they get in line. He is their active father especially for my oldest. He teaches them things. He is helping my youngest built a go cart. He is teaching him how to drive his car. He takes him with him when is going out to play pool at his friends house or play ball. He shows them love and respect and they love and respect him back.
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
3:24 pm
My last post just made me think of something.
I appreciate that my parents were able to transition from parenting me as a child to being the parents of an adult fairly seemlessly.
Every now and then, they get outta hand and try to talk to me like I’m ten. But for the most part, they respect me and my opinions and choices as an adult.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
3:27 pm
2CPTG a lot of them have lasted and speak to me at 41. As kids we didn’t like how our parent disciplined us but when you grow up and that teaching is there you do appreciate it.
Grace
September 21st, 2009
3:28 pm
My dad used to say ‘I brought you into this world and I’ll take you out” so I alway hid the shovel when I did something bad…
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
3:29 pm
My mom was more of the active one when it came to disciplinig in our family….We just knew not to cross our dad…
I love the way our ma and dad raised us and although my bro took a different path… I pray that he comes back…
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
3:29 pm
Grace-
My mom did TOOOO!!!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
3:30 pm
SexyCool that’s what I was saying the other day on here. Although my parents taught me about life and marriage and all that good stuff, they respected me and the choices I made even when they did not agree.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
3:31 pm
Enter your comments here
Mo (aka Moeisha )
September 21st, 2009
3:34 pm
Hey everybody be careful, its crazy out!
Cemeeli – if you are still around, Im cool chica. Hanging in here!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
3:41 pm
Hope this storm passes over before 5pm.
Grace
September 21st, 2009
3:45 pm
Lioness if a parent was caught saying that they would be charged with terroristic threath…. go figure!
Grace
September 21st, 2009
3:45 pm
meant terroristic threat
Melo
September 21st, 2009
3:46 pm
Enter your comments there Raqi
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
3:47 pm
Grace- Yep.. So sad! Just like those parents Az being thrown in jail & their kids put in foster care cause of bath time pics… SMDH!
Grace
September 21st, 2009
3:47 pm
all this rain is making me very sleepy. :yawn:
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
3:48 pm
Grace – quit playing. Is that an actual case?
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
3:49 pm
Prime example of child has to learn. Told the boy to wear his rain coat and take umbrella.
Naww I’m good.
It’s going to rain on your head when you get off the bus.
I’ll run Mom.
Alright.
Joker called to say he is soaked and wish he took his coat. Oh well.
NOW HERE THIS TAKE YALL TAILS HOME 75 NORTH IS FLOODED. PEACE AND HAIRGREASE
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
3:49 pm
Just like those parents Az being thrown in jail & their kids put in foster care cause of bath time pics
Story?
Grace
September 21st, 2009
3:50 pm
oh gosh! and what about sharing bed with your parent? that’s a no no too…
Page1908
September 21st, 2009
3:50 pm
omg luckily i am an expert swimmer in case i need to swim anywhere lol.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
3:51 pm
Dream- http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/arizona-couple-suing-bathtime-photos-prompt-wal-mart/story?id=8624533
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
3:51 pm
Shut up Melo LOL
Melo
September 21st, 2009
3:52 pm
douglas county school holiday,tmrw and wednesday…stay home mama.
gon rain heavy again tonite Raqi,esp when u go home and evening hrs…
(melo now singing,my back,my back,my back and my neck…..)
sorry WD!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
3:53 pm
Lioness that story is ridiculous. When I read about it this morning I was like that is one of the oldest captured moments that parents have done with their kids. I have pictures of both of my boys in the tub when they were babies. Somethings are just taken too far.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
3:55 pm
Melo- (melo now singing,my back,my back,my back and my neck…..)<– HOLLERING!!!!!!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
3:56 pm
Melo believe me I don’t plan to go out anywhere in this rain other than to pick up the baby and then home.
We went out Saturday night and to church Sunday morning in the rain. But other than that we were at home and I plan to stay home tonight and tomorrow night.
Mo (aka Moeisha )
September 21st, 2009
3:56 pm
Page1908 – you got that right! Its nasty out there. I had a friend tell me it took her 2hrs to get to work. But with all the standing water and everything…wow
Lioness – that is crazy……
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
3:58 pm
@ Lioness
thanx for the link… that is crazy
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
3:58 pm
WiseDiva I submitted a comment that got must be stuck in the iffy cage.
I guess feeling what the parents experienced with Walmart is dumb is a bad thing.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
4:01 pm
I hope they sue the PANTS off of Walmart!! Mom had TONS of bucket nekkid pics of me as a baby.. I guess she was smart about it cause they were polaroids..
Grace
September 21st, 2009
4:01 pm
Lioness I never saw a need to take nude pics of my children when they were young. I have some reservations for things like that, even some family members can be pediphiles…there’s always that uncle who you have to keep an eye on and keep the kids away from. What really turns my stomach are biological dads who have intercourse with their daughters. That’s just SICK!!!!!
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
4:04 pm
I never got into the taking pics of the baby when they were taking a bath either, but i definately don’t see anything wrong (if it’s innocent). i know my ma or grandma may have a naked pic or too of me floating around…
I’m with you Grace… I don’t eve nlet me daughter sit on cousins/uncles laps… there’s always that one or two where you’re like ehhh… something’s not quite right
Page1908
September 21st, 2009
4:04 pm
Everyone- people who work in photo departments are mandated reporters and are required by law to report nude pics of children, which is child pornography in case you didn’t know. Other mandated reporters are hospital and medical professionals, teachers and other people with direct contact with children, law enforcement, priests, and numerous others.
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
4:04 pm
I agree Lioness. I have pictures of both of my sons’ first time alone the “big kid” tub. It’s capturing memories of the “first”. Sadly this is the world that we live. What’s next you can’t take pictures of your one year old baby daughter in her diaper without a shirt?
But I will say in this day and age of digital cameras and colored printers, print them at home.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
4:05 pm
Grace- I know a FEW ppl who have had their dads molest them til they were well into their teens
I don’t understand THAT! I had an uncle that ALWAYS wanted me to sit on his lap & I KNEW there was something wrong with that even though my mom NEVER had that convo with me and I was 9 years old..
CHILDREN KNOW WHAT IS NOT RIGHT!!!!!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
4:06 pm
Page1908 this cruel world has taken away all innocence. It’s sad.
Page1908
September 21st, 2009
4:08 pm
Yes, Raqi it is sad. Trust me, I up until recently spent my entire career in child welfare. it is sad.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
4:08 pm
Dude was my father’s sister’s husband.. Knowing dude was creepy, I NEVER allowed myself to be alone with him.. NEVER!!
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
4:09 pm
people who work in photo departments are mandated reporters and are required by law to report nude pics of children, which is child pornography in case you didn’t know.
And that’s fine… I applaud those that adhere to what they are supposed to do, but for the parents to be thrown in jail and the kids to be taken was a bit extreme to me… Now I can see if it was of a baby boy and a baby girl in a bed lying on top of eachother (sorry about the picture that must have come up in you guyz head) then i would agree to rush and take the necessary actions, but bath time come on now…. but hey at least everything worked itself out in the end…
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
4:09 pm
Sometimes laws disregard common sense and over reach in the attempt to govern and protect.
I would argue that pictures of babies playing in a bathtub should not be considered pornographic and that it should be a matter of gauging obvious intent.
But then I consider that everyone’s gauge is not set at the same place.
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
4:11 pm
@ Lioness : that was the first thing her father’s mother told me when I brought poo home… she was like never let her sit on a man’s lap…
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
4:13 pm
That’s the problem SexyCool. Those creeps out there are taking away the innocence that some parents enjoy capturing of their kids.
I have a picture of my oldest son’s first birthday. It was him and about 10 other kids all playing outside in the diapers in a kiddie pool. Girls and boys together with no shirts.
It sad that parents without the ability to print their photos at home have been robbed of being able to capture those moments. And even sadder that some damn creepy arse child molester would use a child’s innocence to get his or her jollies.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
4:14 pm
The frigging child molester could be the photoshop dude too..
Page1908
September 21st, 2009
4:15 pm
well Dream your opinion of what you feel is ok and what the law says are not going to match, so to me, people need to follow the laws. plain and simple.
Lord Velonese (Atlanta's very own Sadist and you love it too!)
September 21st, 2009
4:16 pm
ROFL at this topic, if it isn’t mine then back off. I have do deal with enough wannabe freeloaders looking for handouts as is. Single parents Rock? All the single parents I know, which are quite a few, are always on the hunt for someone to bail them out.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
4:16 pm
Lord- LAWD
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
4:17 pm
I don’t see the law that was broken….
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
4:18 pm
@ Lord
smh lol
Grace
September 21st, 2009
4:19 pm
Dream n that rule should go for lil boys just as well
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
4:19 pm
There are times when obeying all laws is not so plain or so simple.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
4:21 pm
Still comedy in here.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
4:21 pm
I doubt if the parents knew that taking pics of their kids @ bath time was against the law, they would have taken them..
Grace- I agree!
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
4:22 pm
@ Grace
Totally agree..
Page1908
September 21st, 2009
4:23 pm
i’m just giving you insight on laws and how people who are “innocent” can get into trouble. if you don’t agree with it or whatever, ok.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
4:24 pm
I hope they get PAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
4:26 pm
Ignorance is NOT a defense.
Melo
September 21st, 2009
4:32 pm
http://g.ajc.com/r/DW/
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
4:38 pm
Man….these sinkholes are popping up here in Gwinnett……wonder if they are going to cancel school tomorrow, too.
aggwitty
September 21st, 2009
4:40 pm
One more mandated reporter…TMZ
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
4:40 pm
agg-
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
4:41 pm
@ pAGE:
I understand where you are coming from.. by no means am I saying people should not follow the law, but in THIS case: SexyCool ’s 4:09 just about sums it up.. and Loness’s statement about them not knowing it was illegal to take pics of yor kids while they are bathing….
Grace
September 21st, 2009
4:41 pm
15 mins until I get to play in the rain..oh goodie
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
4:49 pm
The downtown connector is closed due to standing water! Wow! Look at the pic on the front of AJC.com
Some of my co-workers elected to stay after the office closed at 3. Hope they enjoyed that decision!
Ms. Main
September 21st, 2009
4:51 pm
I’m just getting a minute to drop in and stopped on page 2 because I felt like there was a food fight going on…whew…anyhoo, I’ll keep reading
Melo
September 21st, 2009
4:51 pm
Ared, can u plaze make some tomatoe soup for me..i may have to swing that way 4 a min if my roads are closed.
pleaaaaaaaaaase!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
4:52 pm
melo – You got it sweetie.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
4:53 pm
Cobb County has closed over 100 roads
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
4:54 pm
ARed – Thanks for pointing that out. I was supposed to go and work at the Thrashers pre-season game. I just called buddy to let him know that there was no way I was coming downtown with all that going on.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
4:56 pm
Ared- Yes ma’am.. A couple of the roads to my house are closed too
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
4:59 pm
Night all, get home safely!
aggwitty
September 21st, 2009
5:02 pm
like WHOA! I am seeing pics on FB from other friends and this is crazy