Single Parents Rock
It’s always a different experience when you are child-free and date someone who isn’t. You have to adjust to a few things, just as you would any other relationship. I admire people with children who find the time to mingle and date. I can’t imagine juggling the demands of parenthood and squeezing in the energy and time to devote to dating!
For all the single parents, what advice would you give someone who is just starting to date as a single parent? How do you manage it? What have you found to be the most challenging part of dating?
If you are child-free, do you prefer to date other people who are too? Have you ever dated a person who had children before? What do you think is the best advice to someone who is dating someone with children?
There is something about a man who is handling his responsibilities as a father that is so attractive to me. When you see the nurturing and supportive side of a man, it’s very appealing. Men, do you ever talk about your children to the women you date?
When do you bring up the fact that you are a parent?
accessAtlanta Partner Sites
Sections
Advertise on accessAtlanta.com »
Reach the audience you want by advertising on accessAtlanta.com
Join the Access Atlanta Network »
Advertisers and Publishers, expand your reach by joining the Access Atlanta Network.
Tell us what you think about the site
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement | About our ads
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
409 comments Add your comment
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
11:53 am
Can you seriously take away the “power” by serving someone last or first… I’m getting confused by the post on this subject… Just b/c some people including myself feeds the baby (a 3yr old) 1st doesn’t mean that we’er taking anything away from “the man” of the house… Now if my child was 15 or 16, he/she can fix their own plate. And we’re talking about a 1-2 minute window of who eats first… It’s really not that serious to get anyones boxers,briefs, panties, or thongs in a bunch…
If some people choose not to serve the “man” initially, there are surely other ways to show the “man” respect… lol
aggwitty
September 21st, 2009
11:54 am
Damn joe its just food and plates. Why yall putting so much on it?
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:55 am
No one feels slighted
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:55 am
Raqi- EXACTLY! WTH is the real deal?
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
11:55 am
@ ARed….Yeah, I respected his wishes…never had an issue about it since. Different strokes for different folks.
lol…@ Raqi….that burnt piece of bacon. I often see how many pieces were “cooked hard” (better way of saying burnt) and I make sure everyone gets a good piece and a hard piece……lol….this is so funny to me.
@ Chink…..yeah, it does sound like a power struggle now…..I just try to keep it all equal…..hell I cook a lot of food so there is enough to go around for seconds….and we eat the leftovers for lunch the next day.
THE INFAMOUS DK
September 21st, 2009
11:56 am
Thats the funnitest thing.. People think because they are stupid and believe anything that you are just as idiotic as them.. Its insutling actually. That they could dare to even insult your intelligence on any level. Come on step it up rookie and be more original.. Dont be a lazy ho be an amazing ho..
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
11:57 am
Grace- Hey Mamasita
Agg- OK!
DK-
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
11:57 am
This is HILARIOUS
@ Lioness I agree
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
11:58 am
2C – You knew it was coming…
Any randoms….?
Wise Diva
September 21st, 2009
11:58 am
Hey everyone! LOL @ serving plates. Too funny.
So do you guys think that a good parent means they will automatically make a good mate?
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
11:58 am
Just b/c some people including myself feeds the baby (a 3yr old) 1st doesn’t mean that we’er taking anything away from “the man” of the house…
Dream_n – So wouldn’t that apply to your kid too. Just because you feed your husband first, doesn’t mean you are taking anything away from your kid…right?
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
11:59 am
Lioness – Stopit with the
…did i do it right this time?
lol @ “damn joe”…
Dream_n
September 21st, 2009
11:59 am
@ AmazonRed
i can’t..I just can’t…
This subject is done for me!! lmbo!!
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:01 pm
LOL @ Dream_n. Yes, we do know how to run a topic into the ground.
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
12:02 pm
…good parents do make good mates! Not saying those without kids are A1 either…
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
12:02 pm
So do you guys think that a good parent means they will automatically make a good mate?
Heck naw. I was a b1tch for quite some time.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:03 pm
WiseDiva – I guess you don’t care to weigh in on the “great serving plate debate?”
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
12:03 pm
@ 12:02 misspell are…i meant “aren’t”
Leggs
September 21st, 2009
12:04 pm
@ARed, I’m calm. Truly I am. We’ve had this conversation so many times in blogsville, I pretty much know where most stand. I good with each person’s preference because it’s not my home. We all dowhat’s comfortable for ourselves. The way I’m parenting lil leggs may not jive with the way another single female parent with one girl is parenting. That’s fine. We are all different for a reason.
Also ARed, thanks for the proper spelling of “gristle.” I knew that, but forgot and reverted to ebonic spelling.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:05 pm
So do you guys think that a good parent means they will automatically make a good mate?
With the numbers of single parents the way they are…probably not.
I had an ex who used to tell me that he knew he’d be a good father, but not a good husband.
He made ending the relationship a no-brainer. WTF!
Grace
September 21st, 2009
12:06 pm
Talking about who eats first, I have a friend who doesn’t even allow the kids to eat at the table with the adults. If my date is over for dinner he’s gets his food first b/c he’s a guest in my home, heck all my guests always get their food first.
Melo
September 21st, 2009
12:06 pm
Melo like your 11:42
ok…
u a girl or boy Chink..
i was gon say ok chica(
) uhgggg,yike!,not me! 
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
12:07 pm
And aggwit and WiseDiva it’s not the “plates” but the serving of those at the table and what’s behind it and how everyone feels.
My husband has never even made mention of he gotz to get his first. That is my doing because it’s how I saw it done growing up and it seemed to work well for my parents.
It is no different from the man holding the door. Heck you both have to walk thru it however most women expect for the man to hold the door for her to enter first. No difference.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
12:08 pm
Cee-
I can’t help it!! The passion behind that topic had to be laughed @ by someone 
Diva- So do you guys think that a good parent means they will automatically make a good mate?<– Sometimes..
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
12:09 pm
lol @ Licorice Ln.
Mytwo Yep…i’d be cognegro b/c….
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
12:09 pm
@ Wise Diva….I think a good parent can/ will make a good mate. The qualities of being a good parent (i.e. compassionate, kind, thoughtful, giving, sharing)…ideally are also good qualities to have in a mate. To everything in life, there has to be a balance. I do not desire to be a good mother and a poor wife…..or a good wife and a slacking mother….I desire to be my best in all the relationships that exist in my life , be it mother, wife, sister, daughter, etc. Time to fix lunch for the kiddies…
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:10 pm
We dont even do meals on the dinner table tgether except for weekend breakfast
melo – To each his own.
Chink
September 21st, 2009
12:10 pm
Uh Melo I am a female
Cemeeli
September 21st, 2009
12:11 pm
@ Lioness – I’m going to get me some fish and okra…but when i get back you betnot still be cheesin.
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
12:11 pm
@Wisey,
I don’t think parenting and mating are equal. Just because I am a kind, concern parent, doesn’t mean I will be a kind concerned mate. Children are developing and you have to have the patience of Job to deal with them. Adults..know better and I have little patience in fooling with one who alreadys knows but chooses to act differently
Melo
September 21st, 2009
12:22 pm
Now, i think we done on the topic,what more to discuss..??
Can we all talk about last nite rain now,coz booooy..we had a wonderbulous time!
(dont get jealous coz u werent booed up)
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:32 pm
melo – Was this the weekend you and the wife had the hotel? Which one did you chose? Glad you guys had a good time.
Wise Diva
September 21st, 2009
12:32 pm
Melo why do you think we want to hear about your bedroom activities from last night? I don’t want to hear that and I wouldn’t want to even if I was booed up LOL
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
12:32 pm
Kym, not just that. As a parent you are the authority. You say what goes and doesn’t. You call the shots. The kid just fall in line.
The problem with a lot of parents getting into new relationships as I know so well is being able to step out of mother shoes and put on equal mate shoes. Yeah have had to catch myself a time or two to remember my husband is my husband, my equal partner and not one of my kids. When you are used to being the one that call all the shots you have to learn how to lay that down when it comes to getting into a relationship. The attributes that make you a good parent can wreck a relationship.
Also as we already talked about being a good parent and concerned for your kids can lead to putting your kids before your mate. We all should want what is best for our kids but we should not let it dictate our entire lives. Sometimes jr. has to wait.
But on the good side being a good parent helps in the matter of considering someone else’s feelings, needs and wants over and above your own. It give you a nurturing attitude that leads you to care for your mate. Just don’t baby them. LOL
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
12:33 pm
Amazon Red- You are a bit over the top today..Very aggressive..everything ok??
However, I COMPLETELY agree with it. Also I think it has something to do with the way you were raised and by BOTH parents. This can go back to ROLE in a marriage.
Also I would like to add. that this only applies to a husband. I mean really I would not have random dude in front of my child so whoever will be well respected.
Having a child it before a adult shows that child that they ARE equals. It’s not about saying the child is less..its just an unconscious thing that let them know that adults should be respected. And respect authority which from the blog I can see why thats the main problem with our youth. They are not taught to RESPECT anyone.
Yeah I know a bunch of you will get your panties in a bunch..but that’s my position on this blog..to tell the TRUTH!!
Ms.Sunshine
September 21st, 2009
12:35 pm
If you are child-free, do you prefer to date other people who are too?
I previously did. If a man had a kid, I walked, no, RAN in the other direction. I wasn’t about to have to deal with a baby mama thinking I want her kid when I have my own reproductive organs and if I wanted a kid, I could have one. (Yeah, I had ideas already.lol)
Have you ever dated a person who had children before? What do you think is the best advice to someone who is dating someone with children?
Yes, my SO has a 10yr old son. I’m completely in love with this man and I’m so glad that this one time I took a chance and left the “No Kids” rule alone. This is the first time I’ve ever been in love and it’s wonderful.
As far as advice for dating someone with a kid, I have a different situation since his son lives in a neighboring state, but you have to be accomodating. As far as dealing with the mom/dad of the child, you really don’t have to deal with them. That’s her/his job, not yours. Thankfully, my ship with the mom has been smooth sailing, but if it gets rocky, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to stay.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:38 pm
Amazon Red- You are a bit over the top today..Very aggressive..everything ok??
Blow – Everything is fine with me. Once again, your perception is not my reality. I had one of the best weekends ever and it’s a nice relaxing rainy day.
Good stuff on the rest of your post tho.
Blow Me
September 21st, 2009
12:39 pm
Sorry blog I screwed that one up! Just read past all the TYPOS!
Ms.Sunshine
September 21st, 2009
12:40 pm
Oh, and when I do get married, we will come first for each other, not the children. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Some people put their lives into their kids. I understand you love them, but it’s a little too much when your husband is put o nthe back burner. Maybe I’m weird, but kids aren’t the end all, be all of a person’s life…but then, I bet ppl with kids will say I don’t know because I don’t have any yet. Nah, I’m pretty hardcore with kids. Kids aren’t adults. Don’t speak to me while I’m talking to another adult, wait until I finish.etc.etc.
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
12:40 pm
Three Words Daily – Storms don’t last.
Melo
September 21st, 2009
12:40 pm
Was this the weekend you and the wife had the hotel?
No Ared,i am planning that for her birthday,on Oct 9 or the week end of it.
WD..OK,it wld have been nice if uall liked rain like i do..i get real giddy when its rains at nite,like im a kid or sme.
Now,whenever it rains on a friday or weekend satrday,my 11yr old dghter and I like to sleep on the floor,in the living room..
We drag the whole fam down there on the floor..
Queen hates it..but im partial to my daghter..
Kym-has angered the sky sprirts and the football gods.
September 21st, 2009
12:42 pm
@Blow..sorry but the problem with our youth has more parts than just Dorrie gets her chicken before Bob. Our youth are in trouble because of factors wayyy more deep than that. Alot of the youth have no parents at home and the one they do have doesn’t care if they have a chicken leg or a chicken gizzard because they have little to no respect for themselves. Also, not all those in authority deserve respect. Respect is earned not a given. If a person is carrying themselves in a manner that is disrespectful, then I don’t care what title they hold, they will never earn that respect.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
12:44 pm
Kym- I DO agree!!
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
12:44 pm
Don’t speak to me while I’m talking to another adult, wait until I finish<– That goes for kids AND adults! I can't STAND rude ppl!!
Raqi...Out of Order
September 21st, 2009
12:48 pm
Blow I agree with you. There are so many kids today that have not respect for authority meaning an adult that is not their immediate parent. And it is the parents fault.
Heck if Jr. is not made to respect the woman that his father marry he is not going to respect his teacher at school.
Any parent that brings another adult into their lives and house and lead the kid to believe just because it’s not your birth parent you do not have to respect them is creating a problem for themselves. Any time a parent marry or live with another adult and a child is present that other adult should have a certain amount of disciplinary rights. If not that child will take advantage of that person and more than likely ruin your relationship. Not to mention when the other parents is constantly rehearsing in the child’s ear that there parent’s spouse is not your mother/father. I don’t care what my son’s father tells him, little midget man knows he is going to respect my husband. He is a grown man, not one of his school buddies.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:48 pm
melo – Yes, I do like rain on a weekend when I am boo’d up and can stay in and make the most of it.
Otherwise, it blows chunks.
AmazonRed™
September 21st, 2009
12:49 pm
Raqi’s 12:48 should be bronzed.
Lioness
September 21st, 2009
12:52 pm
SexyCool was wet all weekend.
September 21st, 2009
12:52 pm
When I was with Shthead, seems as if I remember fixing both plates in the kitchen and delivering to the table at the same time. I would go further to say that, IMO, it really doesn’t matter who is fed when as long as everybody eats. (And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.)
As a childless chick, the issue that I see with SOME single mothers (especially the much younger ones) that I know is that they are not as into developing their parenting skills as I, a childless chick, think they should be.
As far as single fathers that I have observed, SOME are content being the every other weekend dude and do not give enough thought to the fact that they are responsible for the development of their children.
I often say that SOME single parents are not RAISING kids, instead they have children who LIVE WITH THEM.
NOTE: I SAID SOME IN EVERY STATEMENT. No broadstroking here.
JtJ
September 21st, 2009
12:58 pm
@ Raqi…your 12:48 is exactly HOW & WHY relationships with single parents CAN & DO work!!!!! There has to be that understanding and respect between the kids and the adults. I have an almost 13 year soon-to-be step daughter and from day one, It was made known that she would be disciplined just as my 3 children were. My kids also had the understanding that Jay would discipline them as he saw fit as well. Any misconceptions about what Mom/Dad said I could do or let me do, were quickly nipped in the bud.