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Things that you do

A reader sent me a cute article about the ways women try to impress men and why they don’t work. It was kind of funny and sad at the same time! From nip/tucks and tanning to wearing loads of makeup, the list somewhat resembled the requirements of a beauty pageant or a bad VH1 reality show.

I won’t deny that putting on a pair of hot shoes and some rouge and lipstick for the fellas isn’t part of my routine. I definitely want to be desired and appreciated for my *ahem* beauty. However, I have found that being myself – as campy as that may sound – is really enough to snag the attention of men that I actually want to know. I also enjoy displaying my intellect, in a non-annoying way.  I am not one to dumb down things as  to appear coy and docile.

So guys, can you give us some tips on what actually impresses you about women? What do you appreciate about us the most and why? Do you think women put too much energy and focus on their appearance to get your attention?

Ladies, what do you do to impress a man that you really want to know better? Whatever your M.O., do you think it’s working for you? What hasn’t worked for you? What are the things that men do that impresses you? Do you think men put too much energy and focus on their wealth to get your attention?

556 comments Add your comment

Good Guy Getting Greater

September 17th, 2009
8:32 am

Good Morning,

Where to begin…so many things about women impress me, but I believe the most impressive traits are shown when she isn’t even trying to impress me, but by just being herself. If you’re shy, be shy. If you’re open, be open. Just don’t pretend to be something you’re not. I can’t count how many times I meet women and they kinda put on a show. The shy ones start acting overly aggressive or the proactive ones get coy & ditzy. PSA – some of you girls may fool some guys, but the ones who have a good judge of character see right past it. Not that it isn’t flattering, but I think guys like me want a girl who can just be herself & secure while being herself. Think Lil Wayne – “I’m Me” lol

I do think some women put too much emphasis on their appearance in order to get attention. No pair of heels, lip gloss, or that lil secret weapon you call a freakum dress (and boy…is it a weapon) will make me see past you pretending to be someone you’re not. As for me, I come neatly dressed & properly groomed, but it’s all MY style and how I portray myself to others. If you don’t like it, then too bad. I think women should have the same mindset, because IMHO you are all beautiful in your own way. Your personality is what either enhances it or diminishes it completely….

AmazonRed™

September 17th, 2009
9:16 am

Ladies, what do you do to impress a man that you really want to know better?

Insult him or ignore him. :lol:

Good strategy I know. :???:

Morning all. :lol:

aggwitty

September 17th, 2009
9:23 am

Ared, you got a dude right? Then your strategy cannot be questioned lol.

Dan

September 17th, 2009
9:25 am

Morning,

I’mma agree with “good guy”.

There’s something attractive about [her] just being [her]. All the make up, the hair, even the shoes (blasphemy I know), do nothing more than augment what’s already there. I understand the “feeling sexy” in that that ‘ckuf’em dress’, and even then my (lasting) attraction is to the person inside that Homer Simpson drool….aaaggghhh dress.

As stated before, whether in a great wrapping or not, [your] product shines (if you let it), sell that.

AmazonRed™

September 17th, 2009
9:26 am

aggwitty – I’m not married so it’s always up to debate til it works. :lol:

i'm swiss

September 17th, 2009
9:27 am

Okay, so here’s my advice to the ladies:

Everybody likes to look his/her best and make a good impression — and there’s nothing wrong with that. But that can’t be your strategy for finding & keeping a good guy. If you’re going out for a night on the town & you feel like dressing up, by all means, dress it up — rock those cute shoes & the freak’um dress. But you really don’t have to go to those lengths 24/7 to be desirable to us (or if you do for your man, then maybe you’re with the wrong man). Just be yourself. The right man will be crazy about you regardless of all the superficial accoutrements. Mrs. Swiss gets my little heart pounding whether she’s all dolled up for a night out or whether she’s just rolled out of bed with her do-rag and my old t-shirt & boxers on.

Chelle

September 17th, 2009
9:30 am

Good Morning: I’m a firm believer of just being YOU; when i find myself really ‘getting into’ a Man i’m all for cooking him his favorite meal maybe pampering him for the day; because Men like surprises just like women do and they deserve to have a surprise every now & then. Have a nice day everyone :)

AmazonRed™

September 17th, 2009
9:31 am

But seriously…

Ladies, what do you do to impress a man that you really want to know better?

- Listen
- Laugh at his jokes
- Have something meaniful and relevant to contribute to the convo.
- Wearing clothes that flatter my figure and fit
- Let him lead

But I do add a little good natured sass. ;)

It works in the fact that it’s not a problem getting a date. However, the “let him lead” part is usually the one that’s hit or miss. A lot of aggressive women have lead to very lazy men.

M. (pronounced M dot)

September 17th, 2009
9:36 am

I think whatever a woman does, she should do it EFFORTLESSLY and Balanced….If you are trying to hard it shows…trust me.

mytw♥cents

September 17th, 2009
9:41 am

Luv it when the men speak. I’m just always gonna rock it how I rock it. Not morphing for anyone. They sift themselves out. I don’t know if most are still leading wwith wallets or just too many think they need too. Either way, it’s flawed.

GOOD GUY I think yours is basically the most winning strategy ever. When everything else falls away, and people are stripped of all the shan-gri-la that can distract us out on the scene, what are you left with? The actual personality will most definitely enhance or dimish all else.

ARED That seems so childish. I know verbal sparring can be stimulating, but outright insults? Why would you want a man who responds to that? It seems he would be lacking a backbone. Or are you tryna find the ones that’ll shut yo azz down and make you go sit down? Ehich would still seem a bit circular of a route…

M'...celebrant of her 5th decade!!!!

September 17th, 2009
9:43 am

Lawdy…the COUGAR is slipping out of the closet…met this PHINE chocolate brother…35…did I say he was PHINE chocolate…oh yeah, I did…well, I am like Tina Turner…I amma about to break all the rules…is he relationship material…yeah, like the Isley’s said…between the sheets…hehehe…it is what it is…and it need not be anymore…so therefore, there will be not scrutinizing his potential for any long term options (he has 3 kids under 15…so, no thank you)…he is still trying to find his personal and professional groove and niche ( do not desire to be around for its pitfalls and setbacks)…and he is still trying to get his own place…so again, it is what it is…hehehe…let’s see how this plays out…lol…I ain’t right…but stop me when I am lying.

AmazonRed™

September 17th, 2009
9:44 am

mytwo – It was a joke hon. Lighten up on this good Thursday morn.

The real answer is at 9:31.

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 17th, 2009
9:44 am

Untrying Style. A chick that is classic and stylish without trying..
Sex Appeal. A chick that is naturally sexy
Natural Beauties. A chick that can do without the war paint and or face mud..

Intellect – A BAbe that is smart but doesnt force her Md PhD or masters degree down your throat.
Boughetto – Can hang out in the hood as well as the Boardroom. Remembers where she came from..

MR. Unknown

September 17th, 2009
9:46 am

I love it when women leave it to the imagination.. Meaning your left wondering.. I would holla at the woman in the jogging pants vs one in a short dress, even if your standing next to each other..

Men don’t like surprises, We are givers not takers. At least for me..

@ared “A lot of aggressive women have lead to very lazy men.” How does that work? If your very aggressive, then most men would appear lazy. It seems for a very aggressive woman, your constantly fighting for control, or to lead.. Just the flip side to that, but I see where you were going with that.. Morning guys

Dream_n

September 17th, 2009
9:49 am

Good morning all,

what do you do to impress a man that you really want to know better?

-Listen to him, I think guys loook when a women listens attentively and actually contributes to a conversation.
- Looks, (this is just me by nature) I’m a girly girl, I love looking nice when i go out.. my mom used to think i was crazy when she’d ask me to go to the grocery store with her really quick, and i’d have to get all dolled up lol… I tak pride in my appearence.. some of called it conceited, but i love to look good, and i think a guy could appreciate that.
-If he tells you something interests him, ie: footbal, I’ll try to do something fun around that aspect.

Leggs

September 17th, 2009
9:50 am

“But I do add a little good natured sass.” YEP!

I like to snag a man by being myself. I don’t pretend on any level!

@M’, you are funny this morning. Girl, ain’t nothing wrong with having a “boy toy.” Go get yours! HAHAHAHAHA

AmazonRed™

September 17th, 2009
9:51 am

A lot of aggressive women have lead to very lazy men.” How does that work?

Mr. Unknown – Not all women are aggressive. Like me. So when you meet a man who is used to women chasing them, he’s used to not calling first or taking initiative.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

September 17th, 2009
9:52 am

Hi WD and fellow bloggers

Soft features, understated girl next door look…those attract me. Big turnoff for me is the Glamour Shots look. I like a woman who is not afraid to get her hair messed up, who is not totally wrapped around looking perfect over personality presentation.

I am as shallow as the next guy when it comes to a pretty face, but personally prefer “pretty” over “overstated”.

Dream_n

September 17th, 2009
9:52 am

I would holla at the woman in the jogging pants vs one in a short dress,

Please explain…

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 17th, 2009
9:52 am

Now whats funny is…. Men are gonna tell ya’ll what they like and by the end of the day we aint gonna be able to like what we like cause some of ya’ll women know what we like better than us..

Dan

September 17th, 2009
9:57 am

@Dream_n

I’ll take that one.

In them jogging pants (sans makeup) with a ball cap and ponytail (my weakness) you’re a natural. The comfort of that outfit leads to your own comfort (like the “ucfk ‘em” dress enhances the sexy) and it shows.

That’s when the au natural Sexy of the woman really kinda comes through (for me).

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

September 17th, 2009
10:02 am

Oh and the most important thing…a “light behind her eyes”…in other words if she is beautiful but is obviously dumb as a box of rocks and you can see it in her eyes, then just keep on walking. I absolutely cannot stand a woman who is a total “Barbie doll” yet her eyes are as blank as a stuffed animal.

mytw♥cents...For You

September 17th, 2009
10:03 am

ARED I am already ‘lightened up’ or else I wouldn’t have asked, I’d have cut my eyes at your comment and had some scathing indictment rolling round in my head. I am not they. Clearly hadn’t seen a ‘real’ answer.

AmazonRed™

September 17th, 2009
10:04 am

Superhead Karrine Steffans has a new book!

“Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce and Keep the Man You Want”

Maybe she can guest blog. :lol:

Page1908

September 17th, 2009
10:08 am

LOL @ women wearing war paint. omg i almost never wear make up. if i am going out, sometimes. every day at work with my hectic work schedule, heck no. i don’t feel like i need to rock heels, full make up, full get up every.single.day. heck, yesterday because of the humidity and my natural hair, the afro came out…lol. oh well. One day I was on my way home from the gym where i do kick boxing. i’m on the freeway and i noticed a friend of mine was in front of me because i saw his license plate. he was like pull over. so i did and we chatted. he said he was on his way to somewhere (i forgot) and I said i just left the gym. he was like what! you look nice after you work out. i wasn’t wearing anything special, just my usual yoga pants, nikes and a tank top. no make up, sweaty, afro puff hair.

aggwitty

September 17th, 2009
10:09 am

Superhead married now? She got YEARS in a marriage? If not why take advice on how to keep a man from her?

Chink

September 17th, 2009
10:09 am

what do you do to impress a man that you really want to know better? Try to get a conversation going with him.

Whatever your M.O., do you think it’s working for you? What hasn’t worked for you? Yeah what hasn’t worked is me taking the first step.

What are the things that men do that impresses you? I like to see a well groomed male. Talks with respect, funny, and down to earth.

Do you think men put too much energy and focus on their wealth to get your attention? Yes …because I dont care.

Dream_n

September 17th, 2009
10:09 am

I think this is the prblem I have with guys and some of the comments they make about women wear make up or dress up often (everyday). I’m all for the girl next door look. Kudos to the women that have “that look”. I’m in the other cartegory.. Just because I put on makeup (not the clown face), may put on a nice out fit, or curl my hair to do laundry (if outside my building) doesn’t mean i’m trying to hard… it’s just me :)

AmazonRed™

September 17th, 2009
10:11 am

ARED I am already ‘lightened up’ or else I wouldn’t have asked,

mytwo – If that were true..you would have noticed all the ” :lol: ” signs and not taken it too seriously. Nor would have you been so “eye cutting” at my response.

My comment stands. Hope you have a good day tho.

Page1908

September 17th, 2009
10:14 am

Dream! OMG put on make up and curl your hair to do laundry? I guess, I am more a fan of the natural look myself. it could be because of where im from, socal, which is very laid back and laxidazical. hanging out at the beach, going body boarding and surfing, going to bonfires, going to hang out a Jamba Juice for a smoothie, hanging out at the pool or whatever, those things don’t require heels, makeup, full outfit. in fact doing so would get you clowned for real.

AmazonRed™

September 17th, 2009
10:15 am

I absolutely cannot stand a woman who is a total “Barbie doll” yet her eyes are as blank as a stuffed animal.

Randyt – Your response made me think of the song: “I’m a Barbie girl in the Barbie world · Life in plastic, it’s fantastic”

:lol:

Dream_n

September 17th, 2009
10:15 am

AmazonRed:

I didn’t get it at first either, but your 9:51 is actually on point :)

MR. Unknown

September 17th, 2009
10:15 am

Excatly Dan,, thanks… I would rather unwrap my gift, If I see you in a short short dress. I figure theres no work involved, and I will approach you in the same manner and date you in the same manner. If I decide that I want to date you… Does that sound shallow? maybe. But thats my first impression of you, now you have to work harder to get my focus on something else.

Page1908

September 17th, 2009
10:17 am

lmao @ eye cutting.

AmazonRed™

September 17th, 2009
10:17 am

Superhead married now? She got YEARS in a marriage? If not why take advice on how to keep a man from her?

aggwitty – I think it’s kind of a joke too. Well, the keep a man part. I think she can teach someone to seduce a man.

I’m not sure who she is married too. But I do know she found a “soul mate” in Lil Wayne and Eddie Winslow (from the show Family Matters) all within a short time frame. :arrow:

Leggs

September 17th, 2009
10:19 am

@Dan, how come you have to put ponytail in there. Not all women have ponytail hair (lol).

Lioness

September 17th, 2009
10:19 am

Good Morning,
I don’t feel the need to do ANYTHING more than what I normally do to attract a man! Frankly, I prefer a man to show interest in me when I am @ the grocery store in my sweat pants & flip flops than when I have on shorts & heels..
I haven’t ever worn makeup because I don’t feel the need to..

Dream_n

September 17th, 2009
10:19 am

@ Page1908

Yes I do :)
I’ve always been that way… No one is syaing I’m getting in my prom dress to hang out at “Jamba Juide” lol… I just really take pride in how i look. You know how some guys love their car waxed, shining, almose blinding you when you look at it, that’s how I am about my appearance… Being clowned… nope… never have and prolly never will… now talked about, called conceited.. yeah i’ve been there lol :) …. If my family tells me these things… strangers have little to no effect on me :)

Melo

September 17th, 2009
10:20 am

THE INFAMOUS DK

9.44, i can take that!

merning!!!

AmazonRed™

September 17th, 2009
10:20 am

LOL @ women wearing war paint. omg i almost never wear make up.

Page – Me either.

I believe in people knowing what they are getting up front. :lol:

I have a friend who still wears COLORED CONTACTS in 2009! It’s embarrassing. She’s not fooling anyone.

Dream_n

September 17th, 2009
10:21 am

lol

to color contacts

Page1908

September 17th, 2009
10:21 am

LOL @ Eddie Winslow. i have no clue what ole dude’s real name is, but its funny that he will probably forever be known as Eddie Winslow. lmao

Ms. Main

September 17th, 2009
10:21 am

The less complex the more saleable you are. For me though, my forte is intellect (first and foremost), dressing well, smelling good and simply put, the best woman I can be. The product I have is what I was given. If I was born without all the extras then really they aren’t necessary. Nothing wrong with growning, enhancing, improving, tweaking…in whatever areas but the bottom line is you can’t change the product born. I say let a dude/chick see you, the real you. I believe a greater appreciation would be had. It’s a disservice to self to market and sale something that doesn’t really exist.

Lioness

September 17th, 2009
10:21 am

:lol: @ Barbie doll!! I heard a chick call herself barbie before.. I damn near fell out of my chair :lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™

September 17th, 2009
10:22 am

I like a woman who is not afraid to get her hair messed up,

Randyt – I hate going to pool parties where none of the women swim cuz of their hair. What’s the point then? It’s hot in GA!

I’m jumping in.

SexyCool - Empire State of Mind.

September 17th, 2009
10:23 am

Three Words Daily – “They” don’t matter.

mytw♥cents...For You

September 17th, 2009
10:23 am

Reading is Fundamental, ARED. It was an If, Then kinda statement. And since neither of us are strangers to sarcasm or wit, let’s not pretend smiley faces negate off tones. And I’m still smiling, hope you have a sunshiney day too. That tis all.

Dream_n

September 17th, 2009
10:29 am

@ Dan

Please tell me where you would spot a girl in joggers and a girl in the “freak’um” dress in the same location…..????

Leggs

September 17th, 2009
10:29 am

Sometimes “they” do!

SexyCool - Empire State of Mind.

September 17th, 2009
10:30 am

I’m a laid back kinda chick. Whereas I will dress up and be extra from time to time, my preferred uniform (for the summer) has been a nice fitting pair of jeans, cute t-shirt, sandals and manicured toes.

As to what I do to ‘impress’ guys, I am Sexy and I am Cool and that is enough. (I also don’t take myself that damn seriously.)

Oh, and as to men who ‘lead with their wallet’, um, yeah…whatever, that is YOUR money, not mine. God bless the child that has his (her)own and while I’m glad you’ve got yours, I’m good with mine.

Besides, it’s been my experience that men who rely on what they have as opposed to who they are, are the main ones complaining about golddiggers.