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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Seal the Deal

I know a lot of men who say that compatibility in the bedroom is extremely important to them. I have never heard them say it is what would seal the deal when it comes to marriage though.

I think some women believe that men are into the chase and they only want one thing in a dating relationship.  I’m sure that is the case with a lot of single people, men and women.  However, those of us who actually value friendship over sex, are willing to find out if the compatibility extends past the bedroom. Do you find this a challenge in dating?

Is it difficult to get each other to focus on our “emotional connection” with someone without letting the  sex cloud our judgment?

Do you think that men value sex over friendship more than women? What if a guy is looking for a committed relationship, does that make a difference?

Ladies, do you think you would marry someone just because of the great sex? Would you marry someone if it was mediocre or bad? Does love have to seal the deal for you to marry?

Men, what seals the deal for you when you feel like you’ve met Ms. Right?

356 comments Add your comment

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
3:24 pm

whats not normal is moving in with someone you aint never had a good sexual encounter with. That is about as abnormal as I have heard.

You ain’t never lied. All I can remember is living together, not married, no kids and sex sex sex sex and more sex….can’t imagine being in the same bed/living quarters with bad sex…that is a serious uh uh

Melo

September 16th, 2009
3:24 pm

Ms. Main , i know,i know…it must have been a helluva feeling,like it awlays is,after that goood good!

:lol:

M'...celebrant of her 5th decade!!!!

September 16th, 2009
3:24 pm

well blog peeps…me is heading out for the day…hope y’all be safe in these mean ATL streets…nuts out there…and they ain’t in the can…peace out

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:24 pm

3rd- You just get tired of looking at a wee wee all the time<– This confused me.. Please explain

Thirdwheel

September 16th, 2009
3:25 pm

Ok is 8 months too soon to live with someone? Outside of the bedroom is great! The foreplay is great I am just ready for more..

Leggs

September 16th, 2009
3:26 pm

@ThirdWheel, it’s not you..it’s him. He calls you a nympho and you’re not even doing it on a regular basis. He plum tuckered himself out when he was a man-ho. But, you say he’s only in his 30’s. Could he be healing from something and laying off the sex until all the meds are in his system doing what they need to do??? And, why are you looking at it.

Well, you answered one part of WD’s question. Can you marry/live together when sex is mediocre or bad. You’re frustrated so the answer is a whomping NOPE!

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
3:26 pm

M. – I was just laughing at the way Lioness said it.

Of course the relationship stories with quirks to them will be better stories then someone’s relationship that appear routine.

Dream_n

September 16th, 2009
3:26 pm

If all 3 x’s were aful.. Do you really want to do it again??

Leggs

September 16th, 2009
3:26 pm

@Kym, yes, I love, love Reba.

Women can hold out longer because we don’t let the physical part overrule the emotional part. Most need both. And, although it’s easy for quite a few of us to get dy@ck, a lot of us is looking for something more substantial making it easy to ignore the percolating taking place in our undergarments! :wink:

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:27 pm

M(DOT)- Sh!t, you have come on here 2 days this week talking about 2 friends with issues in their relationships.. If these dudes are close to you, I understand why you don’t want to date a SOUL.. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Leggs

September 16th, 2009
3:28 pm

Dern, I had to spell the word like that just to get it to post. That was my 4th try! Or, is the blog machine full of sticky bbq chicken and just burped my post out.

Melo

September 16th, 2009
3:28 pm

You just get tired of looking at a wee wee all the time

Thirdwheel
cmeone chic..a flat and all clumsy wee wee aint that sumptous to look at…..

Does he masturbate in ur presence..that wld be more fun for ur eyes and wetness 4 ur nana??

Thirdwheel

September 16th, 2009
3:28 pm

I don’t think he is sleeping with someone else because we are together all of the time. He is very overwight and I didn’t know if that could be a factor… Ms. Main that is what I thought our relationship would be but I guess I was wrong… Lioness what I mean is sometimes you get tired of just giving treats to the wee wee if you know what I mean…

Jamoca

September 16th, 2009
3:29 pm

no woman can do that as long as they have had it good be4…

Actually, with this right here ^^^ it was quite the opposite for me a few years ago. I had had it tooo good, on both ends, before things went south. So stubborn to the thought of anyone else getting the very “core” of who I was (again)…emotionally, mentally, spiritually, intellectually and OF COURSE sexually.

I can and have already stated before: I was on that “if I can’t have it how I want it, when I want it and with whom I want it…I’oun wont (read:want) it at all…from nobody. Took seven years to get out of that state of mind, while in the interim I allowed myself to think things over about the relationship while experiencing a few relapses in between, until that defining moment…

Since then its been since the very end of 07. My reason isn’t celibacy, self reflection, yada, yada, yada…heyal, I’ve had plenty of time to think, plenty of time to ponder and all that. Simply not involved with anyone. Period. And if there is not any serious involvement, I cain’t get down. Simply. As. That. So look here, when I feel like being bothered with it all, I’ll get back out there. But until then, I have plenty to occupy my mind and my time. It’s not that difficult for some folk.

Why this is so hard to fathom, I haven’t the slighest clue.

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
3:29 pm

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:29 pm

3rd- Well if all is well, stick to the foreplay like M(DOT)’s homie’s girl.. They have been foreplaying it UP for 2 years!!

What would you do with him if you decide to move on? Change the locks??

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
3:32 pm

I’d responded to Lioness and your funny statement of —->I’ve noticed that all the women I know that haven’t had sex for a while are EXTRA.. Like they go off the deep end very quickly

That was funny but nevermind, the blog monster ate it.

Thirdwheel

September 16th, 2009
3:32 pm

I refuse to do foreplay for 2 years.. I would go back to being single…if I decide to move on he will be kicked out or I will move out..

M. (pronounced M dot)

September 16th, 2009
3:33 pm

@AmazonRed™ & Lioness

That was funny and yeah it does make you kinda want to sit on the sideline for a while but as someone said yesterday…its bound to be problems…I guess its just a matter of how much..

Also I have a good diverse group of friends so everyone’s experiences and dynamics will always be different…

SexyCool - Joy like a river flows.

September 16th, 2009
3:35 pm

Ixnay on the very overweight dudes.

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:35 pm

Main- Darn it :lol: :lol: :lol:

3rd- He is overweight.. Oh ok.. Maybe he wants to wait until he loses some weight so he could keep up with you. Ask him for the real reason..
Obviously, you two love each other, find out what the real reason is before you leave him.

GIRL, I understand the lack of sex nonsense!! Makes you want to tear his eyeballs OUT :evil:

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
3:36 pm

it must have been a helluva feeling,like it awlays is,after that goood good!

Whew! Say it again. And the good part really? Love is always chance. To roll up on a winner is the sweet of it all.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
3:36 pm

Blog machine, here’s some bbq chicken…

LMAO @ Leggs! :lol:

Leggs

September 16th, 2009
3:36 pm

Ok, he has weight issues. That’s says a lot. Can he penetrate easily without his belly getting in the way? Is he out of breath trying to enter that he’s resorted to foreplay to get the two of you off?

Melo

September 16th, 2009
3:38 pm

Thirdwheel

I guess u came to the right place for some answers….

he overweight and got issues..wont do it and cant do it welll so forget him..hope u not overweight urself,right…

Do u urself, need service as of right now??

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
3:39 pm

Third Wheel</strong? Ms. Main that is what I thought our relationship would be but I guess I was wrong

Well, how was it before deciding to cohabitate or did I miss something and ya'll didn't…before moving in together?

Heck, we was all over the place…car, his home, my home, park, dinner, movies…so to make it better, easier and more accessible, we ended up living together and just had at it.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
3:39 pm

He is very overwight

Aw…hecky naw. Best of luck to you! :lol:

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:39 pm

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:40 pm

Slip some viagra in his food..

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
3:43 pm

Alright now…2nd post eaten.

ThirdWheelMs. Main that is what I thought our relationship would be but I guess I was wrong

I was asking if I missed something or if you guys moved in, sex being subsequent? If the deed was done prior to moving in together, was it not on the same scale of ikky?

Dan

September 16th, 2009
3:43 pm

I was waiting on Melo to take it there..(20 minutes and 4 posts, that’s a new record)!!

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
3:44 pm

and sex sex sex sex and more sex….can’t imagine being in the same bed/living quarters with bad sex

Good sex only an arm reach away. Yall better ask somebody.

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
3:45 pm

was it not on the same scale of ikky?

LMBO

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
3:45 pm

Do u urself, need service as of right now??

Man you’re predictable and funny…lol

Melo

September 16th, 2009
3:46 pm

I was waiting on Melo

i guess that explains ur singlehood..waiting on other dudes to warm it up for u…..

aggwitty

September 16th, 2009
3:47 pm

If he is very overweight then why not just put some bbq sauce on your honey pot and lure him with promises of grilled meats and sauces with butter?

Nah seriously, why you move in after three bad sex attempts? Was it for financial reasons? Did you think it would improve? Are you a closet masochist?

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
3:49 pm

i guess that explains ur singlehood..waiting on other dudes to warm it up for u…..

See…. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:49 pm

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
3:49 pm

You have a roommate – who is sleeping with someone else…

Gotta agree here. No matter the physical condition, a man will get theirs…I could be wrong but that’s how I’ve come to perceive men as it relates to their physical needs. Even if it’s a one man show, he’s getting it.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

September 16th, 2009
3:50 pm

If he is overweight, he might have early diabetes which can cause erectile dysfunction. If you dont get answers then the sex will unlikely improve.

Is it strictly “cant get/keep it up” or is it lousy foreplay, not finding the lady’s “hot spots” due to inexperience…what makes the sex “bad”?

Thirdwheel

September 16th, 2009
3:51 pm

Ok, he has weight issues. That’s says a lot. Can he penetrate easily without his belly getting in the way? Is he out of breath trying to enter that he’s resorted to foreplay to get the two of you off?

No he can not…Yes out of breath and sweating and I can not ride to town either…

Melo I am not grossley overweight but I could stand to lose some more pounds…

Ms. Main our sex life is the same as it was when we were not living together. I just thought it would get better since we were under the same roof…

Wise Diva

September 16th, 2009
3:54 pm

Just when I think I know some of your perspectives about sex and romance, someone always seems to throw me for a loop. LOL Hilarious

aggwitty

September 16th, 2009
3:54 pm

To answer the Original thread. My deal sealer was pretty much all of what my wife had to offer. She aint shy about sexing, she cook like someones big momma, she is almost as smart as I am, she is competitive as I am (this is the only way we could verify her being almost as smart as me) all those things combined and my experiences before I met her just let me know it wouldnt get any better. Please believe if she was a prude sexually then things may be different, so sex is important, but its not the only thing.

Wise Diva

September 16th, 2009
3:54 pm

If he is very overweight then why not just put some bbq sauce on your honey pot and lure him with promises of grilled meats and sauces with butter? <— go sit in the corner! *smh*

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
3:55 pm

If he is very overweight then why not just put some bbq sauce on your honey pot and lure him with promises of grilled meats and sauces with butter?

I’m SOOOO done! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thirdwheel

September 16th, 2009
3:56 pm

Is it strictly “cant get/keep it up” or is it lousy foreplay, not finding the lady’s “hot spots” due to inexperience…what makes the sex “bad”?

It’s none of that! Something bad always happens everytime we attempted to do the deed. He likes for me to ride and I can’t is what it boils down to I suppose.

Ms. M.B

September 16th, 2009
3:56 pm

AMEN@—>But when there is no connection other than sex they aren’t willing to take those kinds of chances with you. Handle the rest and the sex will take care of itself.

DW, you need to teach classes.

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
3:56 pm

Ms. Main our sex life is the same as it was when we were not living together. I just thought it would get better since we were under the same roof…

Girl, I ain’t tryna knock you but heck no! Wee wees don’t turn to shambocks (thanks Melo) at the happening of moving in together. If you’re going to stay I’d say work with him on his weight and get creative. His manhood though is what it is.

Jamoca

September 16th, 2009
3:58 pm

ThirdWheel – No one here can really tell nor advise you on what you should do, (although you did ask). However, if it’s that important to you (which is understandable), and since you have already expressed your concerns with him and dude doesn’t even want to meet you halfway because he’s self conscious about the dyck-do, you may want to explore other options already. In a situation like the one you’ve just painted makes one wonder what you’re really waiting for?

As for just laying in the same bed and doing nothing but looking over at it, I’d say it’s like putting a recovering “geeka”, “bassuh” etc in a room full of powder and expecting them NOT to take at least one hit…nor have the desire to.

SexyCool - Joy like a river flows.

September 16th, 2009
3:59 pm

He likes for you to ride? With all that belly in the way? Seriously?

Sounds like he is not in touch with reality.