accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Seal the Deal

I know a lot of men who say that compatibility in the bedroom is extremely important to them. I have never heard them say it is what would seal the deal when it comes to marriage though.

I think some women believe that men are into the chase and they only want one thing in a dating relationship.  I’m sure that is the case with a lot of single people, men and women.  However, those of us who actually value friendship over sex, are willing to find out if the compatibility extends past the bedroom. Do you find this a challenge in dating?

Is it difficult to get each other to focus on our “emotional connection” with someone without letting the  sex cloud our judgment?

Do you think that men value sex over friendship more than women? What if a guy is looking for a committed relationship, does that make a difference?

Ladies, do you think you would marry someone just because of the great sex? Would you marry someone if it was mediocre or bad? Does love have to seal the deal for you to marry?

Men, what seals the deal for you when you feel like you’ve met Ms. Right?

356 comments Add your comment

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

September 16th, 2009
2:46 pm

It’s easy to go without when you’re not seeing anyone. I’ve gone for 2+ years no problem. It was only when I got interested in someone that that flew out the window.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
2:47 pm

I thik it would turn me on more if a man initiated the “waiting” process b4 having sex…. some guys just act like animals in heat.. uggh!!!

Dream_n – I’m totally with you. I can never find a guy who wants to wait! :lol:

mytw♥cents

September 16th, 2009
2:50 pm

M. DOT Has he not ASKED? Pressuring ain’t cool, but he has a right to an answer. Also, does he allow her to see how frustrated he is or does he play the role like this here celibacy thang is grrrreat! Now I’m not sayin’ go as far as quoting faux statistics on the adverse effects of blue ballz, ( Won’t fall for that again :oops: ) but has he made his plight to be one with her crystal clear?

Melo

September 16th, 2009
2:51 pm

Why is it so much easier for women to say they to go without sex as opposed to men….???

women keep secrets much better and more efficiently than guys do..in that sense they maintain the facade of no sexx much better..man cannot.If they cant really get a decent woman to play with or a cut buddy etc,men will hire a pro.
Besides,man are always the aggressive party…most females cant or wont initiate the contact so that makes it easier for them its custom to lay low and wait for the suitors to come on board…not becoz they want to…but becoz thats how society and them do it…

Consequently,they die slowly…inside….pining for it.
Its not necessarily easier 4 them..dont believe that at all!

aggwitty

September 16th, 2009
2:51 pm

that dude initiating celibacy would be a turn on for you chics for approximately 19 minutes. After that you would be on some “girlll he must be gay” or “whats wrong with me”. Fellas, dont fall for it.

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
2:52 pm

but I also think he is being a gentleman about it and not wanting to pressure her about it

But Mdot have they not talked about it. I can’t see just going along with it not knowing why and not asking. Is he getting his needs met from someone else?

Tazzee

September 16th, 2009
2:53 pm

OK, I don’t count times without at mate as ‘holding out’. For me, it was easy when there was no one around to push my buttons.

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
2:55 pm

agg- I AGREE!!! I don’t like NO man rationing sex to me!

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
2:56 pm

Why is it so much easier for women to say they to go without sex as opposed to men….???

Because that’s way we are wired. It’s the way nature has it.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
2:58 pm

that dude initiating celibacy would be a turn on for you chics for approximately 19 minutes. After that you would be on some “girlll he must be gay” or “whats wrong with me”.

:roll: Don’t speak for me. :arrow:

Melo

September 16th, 2009
2:58 pm

Because that’s way we are wired. It’s the way nature has it

yeah,nature…not that its easier…….it looks like its easier on them.
NOT..
Like the blogger Rell says,they want it as bad as guys!

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
2:59 pm

M(DOT)- Is this the same couple you talked about the other day?

aggwitty

September 16th, 2009
2:59 pm

I hope ole girl doesnt have the High Five and just waiting for the right time to tell him. two years down the drain.

Tazzee

September 16th, 2009
2:59 pm

Melo – umm, my fiance’ and I have consummated our relationship.

Lioness – yeah, I was waiting until marriage for a long time. Funny thing is – when I decided to stop waiting, it wasn’t because I knew my fiance’ would be end up being my fiance’ – it was because one day I was just tired.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

September 16th, 2009
2:59 pm

@ Dream n and ARed

I always hear that women can go longer without sex than men, but that sort of flipflops some in the 40’s. The ladies seem to be driven more by their sex drive then. I cannot explain it, but the women I have dated in the last ten years have been hornier than three peckered billy goats. In my last LTR, I told the lady I wanted to wait until I knew I was falling (as I have said many times, sex ALWAYS changes the dynamic of the relationship and often then becomes the focus. Eventually (fairly short period of time…a few weeks maybe) she was the one who wanted to go all the way. Sure enough, sex became the primary focus (and was great) but we sort of stopped just talking as much after sex came into the relationship. Sex is wonderful, but it does cloud the mind and the judgment…at least mine.

aggwitty

September 16th, 2009
3:01 pm

tazzee say what say how. lol. bow chicka wow wowwwww

Tazzee

September 16th, 2009
3:02 pm

High Five??? I know that’s an STD, but which one?

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
3:02 pm

You know some men are neanderthals

Because with most women, it’s more than just a physical need.

Agree and Agree….I went about 5 years without sex. I dated and hung out some but that was the extent. For me and going that long, I felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks when I finally got back in the game. Dude was sooo persistant that when I did open up, that thing hit me like a ton of bricks. I was scrambling to not become a victim of falling too fast, too soon, too hard. Had to brace myself. Think mainly or somewhat attributed to being closed off/no happenings for so long.

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:03 pm

agg- What is “high five”? :neutral:

Taz- Oh ok ;)

Tazzee

September 16th, 2009
3:03 pm

tazzee say what say how. lol. bow chicka wow wowwwww

:lol: :lol:

Dream_n

September 16th, 2009
3:03 pm

@ AmazonRed

I’m co-signing you again :)

It’s not about rationing out sex.. it’s about him taking time to get to know you as a person before any thing else happens… a man would ear major points with me on that….

I don’t know waht women oyu’re arond melo.. lol if I want to go “at it”.. no need for beating around the bush… I think we did that when we were younger.. not now!! One would hope!

I can only speak for myself and what I like don’t like.. want or dont want…

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:04 pm

Main- 5 YEARS??? God Bless You sister!!

Melo

September 16th, 2009
3:06 pm

Melo – umm, my fiance’ and I have consummated our relationship

can u say that to melo in more understandable lingo…”consummated”??=indulged?

coz i thoght the consummating wld be the marriage,not the nearing of the impending marriage!

if u say that the proposal was too sweet on that fateful day,as u cried looking at the ring, and u rocking him all nite long in bed after that and that it was inevitable that it was going down. on that fateful day……….

I understand :lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
3:06 pm

High Five = HI + V = HIV

:|

M'...celebrant of her 5th decade!!!!

September 16th, 2009
3:07 pm

@Main

Me too…no big deal…especially when REAL LIFE is going on.

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:07 pm

I’ve noticed that all the women I know that haven’t had sex for a while are EXTRA.. Like they go off the deep end very quickly :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

M. (pronounded M dot)

September 16th, 2009
3:07 pm

@mytw♥cents

Im with you. He said it was because of her religion but like I said earlier, shouldn’t it be all or nothing? He said that he may have been slipping when he agreed to this at first so maybe it’s not all that grreeatt…

I just texted him now and asked why is she doing some things and not others…

He said she has that “good girl syndrome in her head” and if he get’s a sidechick then what’s the point of a relationship?

I guess by GGS (good girl syndrome) they feel like they are above everyone else if they are not doing certain things?

So is this more about self perception issues and how others view her?

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:07 pm

:shock: I call that bad blood

aggwitty

September 16th, 2009
3:08 pm

High Five = HI V(roman numeral)

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:09 pm

M(DOT)- Do ANY of your friend’s have regular relationships?? :lol: :lol: :lol:

M. (pronounced M dot)

September 16th, 2009
3:10 pm

@Lioness

Nope this is a different couple. This couple is black and she is a lawyer. The others were indian and she was an OBGYN.

Melo

September 16th, 2009
3:12 pm

that thing hit me like a ton of bricks

WOW,he had a shambock like that?

:lol: :lol:

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
3:12 pm

I always hear that women can go longer without sex than men, but that sort of flipflops some in the 40’s.

RandyT – I’m 31 so I’ll take your word for it then.

M. (pronounced M dot)

September 16th, 2009
3:12 pm

@Lioness

For the most part but they are human like everyone else. :) :) :)

Dan

September 16th, 2009
3:13 pm

2 years??!

My heart hurts…..

@Tazzee

Congrats again m’lady!!!

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
3:16 pm

M’…celebrant of her 5th decade!!!! Me too…no big deal…especially when REAL LIFE is going on.

Say it girl….

Lioness I’ve noticed that all the women I know that haven’t had sex for a while are EXTRA.. Like they go off the deep end very quickly<—— you're funny.

It wasn't easy at first but yeah, 5 years. At that time my daughter was a tot and my rationale was more of the mindset to raise her free of drama, free of uncles (i.e.Tom, Dick, Peter, Paul, John) all hanging in and over her head and paraded around her. Next, I was transitioning from a flying by the seat of my pants kind of girl to learning responsibility and what it meant to be a woman and a mother. So, I put all my efforts and energy into doing just that. I soon found myself okay with that set up and after a couple of years (not initially), just didn't miss having relationships nor the phyical. I met folks but nothing really struck my fancy until…….

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
3:17 pm

M(DOT)- Do ANY of your friend’s have regular relationships??

:lol:

Leggs

September 16th, 2009
3:17 pm

@Kym, yes, I love, love Reba.

Women can hold out longer because we don’t let the physical part overrule the emotional part. Most need both. And, although it’s easy for quite a few of us to get dyck, a lot of us are looking for something more substantial making it easy to ignore the percolating taking place in our undergarments! :wink:

Thirdwheel

September 16th, 2009
3:18 pm

Hey Yall!

Ok tell me if this is normal… been dating a guy for 8 months… we had done the deed 3 times… all three times were awful for either me or him. Now he is saying that he wants to wait to do the deed. Now we live together and sleep with each other every night but we do everything but the deed and now I am getting bored. What should I do in this situation? Should I move on and find someone else? I have brought it up to him and either he gets mad and calls me a nympho or he ask me to respect his belief that the next time he does the deed he wants it to be special. I am in my late 20’s and he is in his early 30’s and use to be a man ho back in the day? I am getting frustrated because we are supposed to be committed …. You just get tired of looking at a wee wee all the time….

Lord Velonese (I can because I can)

September 16th, 2009
3:18 pm

“Men, what seals the deal for you when you feel like you’ve met Ms. Right?”

Two lawyers, the woman will have to be; a clever liar; have allot of luck, and god on there side. Even then it’s close to nil of a chance. I can’t help but resent women.

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:20 pm

3rd- Living with each other after 8 months??

aggwitty

September 16th, 2009
3:20 pm

whats not normal is moving in with someone you aint never had a good sexual encounter with. That is about as abnormal as I have heard.

Leggs

September 16th, 2009
3:20 pm

Blog machine, here’s some bbq chicken…let go of my post, please!!

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
3:20 pm

MeloWOW,he had a shambock like that?

No, silly, hit like a ton of bricks by the whole of it…relationship, love, sex…being back in the game I should say.

Thirdwheel

September 16th, 2009
3:20 pm

Yes, we have known each other for a decade as friends…

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
3:22 pm

It’s holding my post as well…..ugh

Dream_n

September 16th, 2009
3:22 pm

Living with each other after 8 months??

Took the words right out of mouth…

How is the connection outside of the bedroom???

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
3:22 pm

Lord- So is it safe to assume that you are NOT having sex since you resent women?

M. (pronounced M dot)

September 16th, 2009
3:22 pm

@AmazonRed™ & Lioness

Does anyone have regular relationships? This aren’t super strange problems are they?

SexyCool - Joy like a river flows.

September 16th, 2009
3:23 pm

ThirdWheel – You have a roommate – who is sleeping with someone else.