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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Seal the Deal

I know a lot of men who say that compatibility in the bedroom is extremely important to them. I have never heard them say it is what would seal the deal when it comes to marriage though.

I think some women believe that men are into the chase and they only want one thing in a dating relationship.  I’m sure that is the case with a lot of single people, men and women.  However, those of us who actually value friendship over sex, are willing to find out if the compatibility extends past the bedroom. Do you find this a challenge in dating?

Is it difficult to get each other to focus on our “emotional connection” with someone without letting the  sex cloud our judgment?

Do you think that men value sex over friendship more than women? What if a guy is looking for a committed relationship, does that make a difference?

Ladies, do you think you would marry someone just because of the great sex? Would you marry someone if it was mediocre or bad? Does love have to seal the deal for you to marry?

Men, what seals the deal for you when you feel like you’ve met Ms. Right?

356 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
1:55 pm

The fact that he needed a medical bed and they both seemed as happy as a lark with the arrangement of sleeping separately was indicative that their relationship had grown over the years, past the physical aspect of it and was settling into companiondom (is that a word).

Ms Main. I’m sure.

We were staying in a hotel once and I want into their room and there was two separate beds. I told my grandmother I would call the front desk and correct the mistake. My grandmother stopped me and told me she requested two and said “Amazon, I’ve been sleeping with that man for 62 years, I have earned a few nights off!” :lol:

My granddad is still a little frisky. I don’t know what he does, but it’s something. :lol:

M. (pronounced M dot)

September 16th, 2009
1:57 pm

@

Lioness

That is a great question you asked about how long to become best friends. My friend HR has been dealing with this girl for 2 years and they have yet to “seal the deal” just a whole bunch of foreplay etc but no concrete deal. My question for the blog is could anyone here handle that situation with someone holding out for this vast amount of time or would you have to take your business elsewhere or @Ladies is there a reason why she may be holding out for that he does not even know about?

@ Guys

Could you just buy a car that you never even sat in?

M'...celebrant of her 5th decade!!!!

September 16th, 2009
2:00 pm

@aggwitty…oops….meant to say the 5th decade…but, hell as a tried colored girl…I indeed feel the 500 year burden of my sisters running in my veins…hehehe…thanks!!!!

@Leggs…me be sippin from the Fountain of Truth…uh-huh…got too much gray to waste what I have to say…hit it yedderday sportin’ my denim mini and fishnet leggings…can we say TOO HAWT…hehehe

Kym has a Southern Voice

September 16th, 2009
2:01 pm

Two years and only foreplay..which I guess is what lick no stick. Naw that wouldnt work for me. that is crazy.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
2:01 pm

DK- King(My dog) is still that DUDE!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
2:01 pm

M dot, holding out on marriage or the sex?

Melo

September 16th, 2009
2:01 pm

but it’s something

VIAGRA :lol:

aggwitty

September 16th, 2009
2:02 pm

M’ no problem. I was over here like we got Cleopatra on the blog today? holla!

Mdot – in a word..2 years, NO. but i dont judge those that do, just couldnt be me.

Dan

September 16th, 2009
2:04 pm

@M(dot)

2 years?? 2 Years!!! 2 years??

As in 2 whole years (24+ months)

One of ‘em gay and/or fuggin someone else.

2 years, really? not a whiff uh it? Really???!!??

Melo

September 16th, 2009
2:05 pm

My friend HR has been dealing with this girl for 2 years and they have yet to “seal the deal” just a whole bunch of foreplay

Is HR and the lady “true” born again christians or are they 19?????

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
2:05 pm

She could be celibate.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
2:06 pm

My question for the blog is could anyone here handle that situation with someone holding out for this vast amount of time

M’ – I could. As long as I know it’s gonna happen I could wait.

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
2:08 pm

I don’t know if this is the case but folks need to stop entering into relationships with people that tell them up front that they want to wait until marriage or that they are celibate and thinking they will get them to change their minds.

You only get disappointed and frustrated trying. Some people are true to their beliefs.

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
2:10 pm

M dot I would suppose that she told him up front that she was holding on to it, otherwise why would he allow two years to pass and not have a conversation with her about it.

M. (pronounced M dot)

September 16th, 2009
2:13 pm

@Dan

Yup 24 months. She is a lawyer and is 29, and has been involved with other men before but for some reason she making my friend wait and holding out….I just would rather her not do anything than tease me and leave me hanging!

I dont know how he does it. I honestly believe it may be an deep issue involved and she not telling him

Also he SAYS he never cheated on her but I dont believe that unless her name is Karrine Stephans…

M'...celebrant of her 5th decade!!!!

September 16th, 2009
2:14 pm

@aggywitty…that is all good sug…hehehe…my and Cleo is cut buddies…lol

Dan

September 16th, 2009
2:14 pm

Belief, smelief

2 years and foreplay, something(s) done went somewhere. That ain’t no “belief”.

Don’t remember nowhere in the Bible that says “..do everything but,…”

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
2:15 pm

My granddad is still a little frisky. I don’t know what he does, but it’s something.

These dudes have nothing to worry about. Whatever you are in youth just transends over time…you may not be able to get it up but at least you’ll be there in spirit.

aggwitty

September 16th, 2009
2:15 pm

I have entered into smash outs/jump offs with broads who claimed celibate or devoutly christian and you can see by the title I gave them, they were decidely not.

Dudes enter into these situations because there is a 80% chance or higher that she will eventually let them enter

M. (pronounced M dot)

September 16th, 2009
2:16 pm

@Dan

I agree its either all or nothing.

@ Raqi…Sealed

I agree with you but then she should not have done ANYTHING correct?

M'...celebrant of her 5th decade!!!!

September 16th, 2009
2:16 pm

Off Topic

Has anyone been to see the “America I AM” exhibit at the Civic Center????…they have extended it until 9/27…tix are $10 @ Wally World…great little piece of collective memorabilia history.

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
2:17 pm

holding out? mind over matter

Dan

September 16th, 2009
2:17 pm

@M(dot)

Does he have a tattoo that says “break in case of emergency”?

2 years is killin me slowly…

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
2:19 pm

Has anyone been to see the “America I AM” exhibit at the Civic Center????…

M’- I went openining weekend. Glad I did. No crowds. Glad it got extended. I’d go again and recommend.

Melo

September 16th, 2009
2:21 pm

She is a lawyer and is 29, and has been involved with other men before but

no woman can do that as long as they have had it good be4…shes proly rehabing from a previous bad relationship…and stringing him along in punishment.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
2:21 pm

holding out? mind over matter

You know some men are neanderthals. :lol:

Tazzee

September 16th, 2009
2:22 pm

Afternoon folks!

Late chiming in as usual this week.

M. I think I could hold out for 2 years, I’ve never been in a relationship that long, but in my longest relationship (364 days) there was no sex (no oral either) due to celibacy, but my guy knew. If they’ve gone 2 years and she hasn’t told him why – I’m surprised he hasn’t asked.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

September 16th, 2009
2:22 pm

Hello All from the Armpit of Yankee land, southeast Ohio.

“Is it difficult to get each other to focus on our “emotional connection with someone without letting the sex cloud our judgment?” Yup. Once sex enters the picture, it ALWAYS changes the focus of the relationship.

“Do you think that men value sex over friendship more than women?” Not me. It is important, but not as important as friendship. (let me count those t-shirts)

“What if a guy is looking for a committed relationship, does that make a difference?” I am. As stated in recent days, there are women too who just want a sex partner. It can make a difference to those women (another t-shirt or two, three, four…)

“Ladies, do you think you would marry someone just because of the great sex?” I do not think this is a good idea. Often the sexual atttraction “waxes and wains”. If it is the glue that holds the relationship together, then it might have trouble enduring the dry spells.

“Would you marry someone if it was mediocre or bad?” Is sex ever mediocre or bad? I read somewhere once that there are no frigid women, just clumsy men. Sex can almost always be made fun and interesting if the partners are flexible.

“Does love have to seal the deal for you to marry?” Absolutely, one can buy sex, hire a maid or a cook, but emotional attachment has to come from within.

“Men, what seals the deal for you when you feel like you’ve met Ms. Right?” Pillow talk…is the lady as interesting and entertaining after the “deed” as before. When I was in the 4th or 5th grade, I became fascinated by “1001 Arabian Nights” (Alladin and the Magic Lamp, etc.) The storyteller, Scheherazade, was a slave girl who kept from being executed by the Persian King by telling him incredible stories every night for 1001 nights. I want a “Scheherazade”,someone who keeps me always interested. IMHO

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
2:22 pm

M(DOT)- Maybe she knows your homie ain’t working with a whole lot so she prefers to stay with the foreplay..

Dan

September 16th, 2009
2:23 pm

2 years???

Really?!?!

M'...celebrant of her 5th decade!!!!

September 16th, 2009
2:24 pm

@Ared

I want to go again…went last Sunday for my b-day with a friend…and while I appreciated the turn out by the size of the crowd…I would have been able to appreciate it more if I had less congested interaction with ppl trying to view it as well…so I may try to get back before it leaves…like on a Tuesday…hehehe

M. (pronounced M dot)

September 16th, 2009
2:25 pm

Also, when they met she was in law school and really focused on finishing her law degree and I understand that and supported her through all of that…

Tazzee

September 16th, 2009
2:25 pm

Melo – you make a good point. I wasn’t a virgin when I became celibate, but I will admit that I’d never had it good before. That’s probably why I wasn’t pressed to try again.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
2:29 pm

In college I had a boyfriend my freshman year, then didn’t have a boyfriend again until my senior year. In between there was no screwing for sport, so yeah, I guess I have held out 2+ years.

M'...celebrant of her 5th decade!!!!

September 16th, 2009
2:30 pm

Ohhh…I may be working on gig #2…there is a part time admin support position with a lay firm in Midtown…they want to schedule for an interview in a few weeks…that would be good…I ain’t ready to hit the plantation for 40 hours/week….hehehe…and with the house manager gig…that should be cool.

M'...celebrant of her 5th decade!!!!

September 16th, 2009
2:31 pm

held otu for 2 years….hehehe…that is a norm for me…when I went 5 years from ‘91 to ‘96…any time period after that is a piece of cake…and a peace of mind…truly.

M. (pronounced M dot)

September 16th, 2009
2:31 pm

@Melo

This could be true.

@Tazzee

This could be true also, but I also think he is being a gentleman about it and not wanting to pressure her about it. Maybe let it happen on her timetable. I know he is really glad to be in that power couple thing but also maybe looking forward to marriage?

@Lioness

Who knows. You may be right! In that case, do you think she is getting her needs and demands met elsewhere? lol

M'...celebrant of her 5th decade!!!!

September 16th, 2009
2:32 pm

oops…held out

Dream_n

September 16th, 2009
2:33 pm

Why is it so much easier for women to go without sex as opposed to men….???

Kym has a Southern Voice

September 16th, 2009
2:34 pm

Speaking of music…@Leggs do you listen to Reba McEntire?

Melo

September 16th, 2009
2:37 pm

Tazzee,how far do u go now,with ur fiance..i know u aint having it but do u tease and do pillow sexxaul talk….is ur stimulation all mental and just sweet nothings??

(if i were in that situation with my girl,each time she butt nekked and my johns is starting to start a fracas in ma pants,i kneel down facing the opposite direction and pray..lord jesus gimme strength,lord jesus :lol: )

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
2:38 pm

and a peace of mind…truly.

M’ – It really is. Of course, it’s hard when you are really into someone you’re builing something with… but in terms of casual sex, it’s easy as pie.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
2:39 pm

LMAO @ “fracas in my pants.” :lol: :lol: :lol:

M'...celebrant of her 5th decade!!!!

September 16th, 2009
2:40 pm

@Dream_n

I do not know if it is easier for women to “go without sex”…it is just easier to not need the partner to have a sexual experience…hehehe…something in the physiology of body build and parts…lol

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
2:40 pm

The longest I went without was 4 years but I was not really dating at the time. The longest I waited in a relationship was 4 months.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
2:41 pm

Why is it so much easier for women to go without sex as opposed to men….???

Because with most women, it’s more than just a physical need.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

September 16th, 2009
2:43 pm

Afternoon folks!

I’ve heard of folks going without for religious reasons, but they usually get married fairly quickly. M dot, I bet you’ll be hearing of a proposal real soon. The only way I can see that really working out with 2 adults is if they are BOTH committed to waiting until marriage.

Strange that they’ve never discussed the reason why though.

Lioness

September 16th, 2009
2:43 pm

Dream- I didn’t know it was :???:

Taz is not having sex til marriage??

Dream_n

September 16th, 2009
2:44 pm

@ M’… lol… gotcha!

@ AmazonRed : co-sign

I thik it would turn me on more if a man initiated the “waiting” process b4 having sex…. some guys just act like animals in heat.. uggh!!!

Dream_n

September 16th, 2009
2:46 pm

@ Lioness

maybe we hang around different women lol :)