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Seal the Deal

I know a lot of men who say that compatibility in the bedroom is extremely important to them. I have never heard them say it is what would seal the deal when it comes to marriage though.

I think some women believe that men are into the chase and they only want one thing in a dating relationship.  I’m sure that is the case with a lot of single people, men and women.  However, those of us who actually value friendship over sex, are willing to find out if the compatibility extends past the bedroom. Do you find this a challenge in dating?

Is it difficult to get each other to focus on our “emotional connection” with someone without letting the  sex cloud our judgment?

Do you think that men value sex over friendship more than women? What if a guy is looking for a committed relationship, does that make a difference?

Ladies, do you think you would marry someone just because of the great sex? Would you marry someone if it was mediocre or bad? Does love have to seal the deal for you to marry?

Men, what seals the deal for you when you feel like you’ve met Ms. Right?

356 comments Add your comment

Lioness-

September 16th, 2009
11:34 am

How long do you think it takes a couple to become best friends?

Page1908

September 16th, 2009
11:35 am

LOL ARed- You know they will no matter what!

lol @ pontificate.

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 16th, 2009
11:39 am

SEXY COOL – I dont care if people think Im loose.. ;-) They just better not be trying to use me for my doggy style.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
11:39 am

LOL ARed- You know they will no matter what!

Page – Seriously, I do not care if a guy I’m dating thinks I’m going to be lame in bed. I’m trying to keep the focus off the sex.

But then it’s taken as a challenge to turn me out. :lol:

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
11:39 am

you know you’re (hopefully, if you’re lucky) going to grow quite old together, and things like sex will be history, at some point

abc I talked about that a few weeks ago. Some people don’t realize that life will happen. Erectile Dysfunction and Menopause that causes dryness for many happens. It’s called life. We get old. Stuff stops working. People better start looking at that person lying next to them and ask themselves when life happens then what.

Lioness-

September 16th, 2009
11:44 am

Raqi- Very ture!! Not many ppl who view things logically

Dan

September 16th, 2009
11:45 am

@SC

Thanks for that.
But I’mma say what I want to anyway.

@Raqi

It’s wednesday, I gotta enough to do to get thru the week without discussions of menopause, dryness, or ED….can we table that discussion for another day? Pleeeaaase

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
11:49 am

SexyCool Exactly. You cannot separate a person from their actions.

Well unless they are having some sort of out of body experiences or have a multiple personality disorder. But yeah I agree with you.

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 16th, 2009
11:51 am

Raqi – I’ve got the ED thing covered.. Im gonna have me a penile implant put in so I can just walk around with a erection all the time.. You know like a real dirty old man..

If it was left up to me I would go in the middle of some wild sex..

Dream_n

September 16th, 2009
11:51 am

I’m a firm believer in “Reading is Fundamental” :)
any who..

@ Lioness: I don’t think there is a time limit..

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
11:52 am

I wonder what my grandparents sex life is like. They are in their 80s. Wonder if it’s riddled with erectile disfunction and vaginal dryness.

They seem happy though.

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 16th, 2009
11:53 am

Raqi – Thus effectively sealing the deal permanently..

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
11:53 am

I knew a guy named “E.D.,” that’s gotta suck.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
11:54 am

I travelled with my mom and some of her friends once. It was like the menopausal tour. They kept the temperture on “artic” the whole time.

Leggs

September 16th, 2009
11:54 am

@Raqi ~ your bed rest example reeks of disrespect, being selfish and as you stated, demeaning!

Compatibility should start way before dancing between the sheets. But, some just don’t care and merely want to knock boots then ride off into the sunset ALONE!

Dream_n

September 16th, 2009
11:56 am

menopausal: when do women normal reach that era of their life???

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
11:57 am

Amazon why wouldn’t they be happy. At that age and having a partner that has been there for a great part of your life, happiness is just being together. When the sex is gone you better have something else working for you. Companionship.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
11:58 am

The thought of sex with Flavor Flav definitely causes vaginal dryness.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
11:58 am

At that age and having a partner that has been there for a great part of your life, happiness is just being together. When the sex is gone you better have something else working for you. Companionship.

I know this Raqi.

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
12:03 pm

LOL Infamous. Yeah my husband asked me what am I going to do when he starts needing that little blue pill. I told him I hope Costco starts selling it in bulk and I’ll gladly pick it up when I do my monthly shopping.

Him getting to the point of needing that little pill does not scare me. And when it stops working all together and I am dry as the desert we’ll just sit on the porch of our retirement house holding hands keeping each other company.

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
12:06 pm

Dream menopause happens at different times for different women. Some start as early as 40 and some don’t start until they hit 60ish.

abc

September 16th, 2009
12:10 pm

DK, me three on that sentiment.

Menopause usually happens somewhere around ages 45-55.

ED is most often a side effect of some other problem, like high blood pressure, cholesterol, some other things that can be managed; and some other things that can’t be managed. It could happen. I suppose it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it might feel like it was. If it happens to me, I’ll go on the boner pills, no problem.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
12:11 pm

It’s gotta suck when the vaginal dryness happens years before the erectile dysfunction, or vice versa. But yes, it’s good know that one has so much else in their relationship to sustain them.

Dorothy: “Ma, why are you so cranky?!”

Sophia: “Sorry Dorothy, I just realized I haven’t had sex in 23 years and it’s starting to bug me.”

Classic Golden Girls. :lol:

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
12:14 pm

:lol: @ the boner pills.

AmazonRed™

September 16th, 2009
12:17 pm

suppose it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it might feel like it was

Testosterone must be one helluva drug. I know guys who won’t even neuter their pets. :lol:

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 16th, 2009
12:20 pm

<Ichael Jackson said:

So Listen To My Heart
Lay Your Body Close To Mine
Let Me Fill You With My Dreams
I Can Make You Feel Alright
And Baby Through The Years
Gonna Love You More Each Day
So I Promise You Tonight
That You'll Always Be The Lady In My Life

And I Will Keep You Warm
Through The Shadows Of The Night
Let Me Touch You With My Love
I Can Make You Feel So Right
And Baby Through The Years
Even When We're Old And Gray
I Will Love You More Each Day
'Cause You Will Always Be The Lady In My Life

Thats what Im talkinbout..

Ms. Main

September 16th, 2009
12:20 pm

I wonder what my grandparents sex life is like. They are in their 80s. Wonder if it’s riddled with erectile disfunction and vaginal dryness.

Probably little to nil….before dad died (being around that age), it was nil and had been for sometime I believe. The fact that he needed a medical bed and they both seemed as happy as a lark with the arrangement of sleeping separately was indicative that their relationship had grown over the years, past the physical aspect of it and was settling into companiondom (is that a word). It was cute too, they’d say things like you better hurry your show is coming on (if she was taking 30 minutes in the bathroom) or I’m not going to eat until they bring your tray as well or can you spread my blanket over me or ahhh shucks those shoes (albeit orthopedic) looks good on you gul or come on roll you wheel chair up front with me….yeah, at that point, who needs sex.

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 16th, 2009
12:23 pm

ARED – I wont neuter my Dog..

Lioness-

September 16th, 2009
12:26 pm

I neutered my dog & I must say, I DO miss his pretty balls :???:

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 16th, 2009
12:27 pm

Lioness – I think thats cruel and unusual punishment.. That poor Dog aint a dog no more.. Im sure he’s a shell of his former self..

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
12:32 pm

It’s gotta suck when the vaginal dryness happens years before the erectile dysfunction, or vice versa

That’s why they sell products to help in those areas. If you ain’t got a problem bringing sex toys into your bedroom why in the heck would you have a problem with using the pills or gel.

I hear some ladies say they cannot get with a man that is needing a little help getting there yet they stick a rubber vibrating shlong up their canal.

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 16th, 2009
12:43 pm

Get it up, get ready for a real good time. I’m gonna try to blow your mind.
Can’t you see? You and me. It sounds so nasty.

Get it up, let your hair hang down. We could fool around.
Don’t you know? I want you so. Make me happy.

Get it up, there’s nothin’ wrong. We’re freakin’ all night long.
Me and you. We need a groove. It feels good, do it.

Get it up, leave your cares behind. Let me try to find.
Find the spot. That gets you hot. Let me do ya.

What time is it?

Get it up, get ready for a real good time. I’m gonna try to blow your mind.
Can’t you see? You and me. It sounds so nasty.

Get it up, let your body drip. Let me take you on a trip.
Can’t you see? You’re killin’ me. You’re so freaky.

Get it up. Get it up. I’ll work you all night.

Get it up. Get it up. All night.

Melo

September 16th, 2009
12:49 pm

Sex is VERY important to me.. LIONESS

is that all LIONESS???????????????

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Lioness-

September 16th, 2009
12:50 pm

DK- King(My dog) is still that DUDE!!! They told me neutering his monkey azz was going to calm him down.. WTF EVER!!!!

Melo- That is not all MELO!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

M'...Phine, DIVINE and 49!!!

September 16th, 2009
12:51 pm

While sex, especially good sex, is a vital part of any healthy and stable relationship…in the early stages of becoming more familiar with another person of interest it can get in the way…it can preclude, cloud or distract attention from areas that may need to also be objectively evaluated, etc…I think that was we MATURE (not get older agewise) in our lifespan, we also begin to realize the how’s and why’s of sex as a distraction in our pursuit of relationships…and then it is up to us to choose what is and ain’t the issue and point of distraction.

And as far as men having less value for a friendship over a sexual relationship…Dan is correct…it is more probable that they will value the sex…not always, but more often than not…how many times have I stated on this very blog that I have some of the most phenomenal platonic friendships with my heterosexual male buds…only to have a brother in this very forum call me out(and my friends) by telling me that I need to be looking for the hidden switch in my boy’s swagger…that if he is accepting only a platonic friendship then his agenda must have a hidden DL factor in the mix????…uh-huh.

Does it make a difference…well, the hole last longer than the pole…hehehe…believe it.

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
12:53 pm

That poor Dog aint a dog no more.. Im sure he’s a shell of his former self

Infamous that’s how I felt about a man that used to work here. He wife would emasculate him and wear his ballz around her neck. Everything he did she criticized and would come up here and talk down to him and we could hear it outside of his door.

He served 18 months for domestic violence and battery. He hauled off and punched her in the mouth one night during an argument. He came up here one day to get his personal items after he got out. He said those 18 months were worth every day served not having to deal with her again. LOL I guess he felt liberated after socking it to her.

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 16th, 2009
12:57 pm

Raqi – He hauled off and punched her in the mouth one night during an argument..

I aint saying its right but I can understand…

Leggs

September 16th, 2009
12:59 pm

WOW, they kept his personal items for 18 months. That was nice of them. Too bad he couldn’t find another way to shut her up w/o punching her in the mouth.

Raqi...Sealed.

September 16th, 2009
1:01 pm

I don’t know if any of you men folk or women has ever experienced this, being made so mad or turned off that your PC muscles will not allow him entry.

That’s some crazy involuntary reaction right there. But it’s real. LOL I know.

mytw♥cents

September 16th, 2009
1:02 pm

Marry for Great Sex? HELL No! I don’t even understand those who keep half azzed boyfriends around allegedly on this basis. I don’t even understand how it can be “great” if everything else is the pits. I’m just wired like that.

Marry when the Sex is Mediocre? Doubt it cuz I’m wondering why it’d stay that way after the initial forays. Work on learning her mental and you should easily be able to work her physical. Mind. Then body. I’m just in tuned like that.

Must love seal the deal? Absolutely. I’m just rational like that.

Lioness-

September 16th, 2009
1:06 pm

Raqi- Dude should have just left her! Point Blank Period!
Frigging idiot! Womp

Melo

September 16th, 2009
1:06 pm

Do you think that men value sex over friendship more than women?
No, we value the same things,friendship and sexx,men express themselves differently.

What if a guy is looking for a committed relationship, does that make a difference?

what makes a difference..sexx??
I wldnt marry a woman unless we were compatible in the bedroom..whaaat,we spend five,six to eight hrs of the day sleeping and u think i wld overlook that much time just coz she can clean,cook and is a potential good mum..hell naw….
In the dating phase,she could be good in all other departments but if i like her that much i will put her on the sexx crash course..the one i desgned and if she fails that one….I show her the door.
Compatibility for me is everything…everything..if she feeling horny and we bout to go to church,she must be free to say,”baby,one more be4 we go”" The kids can wait downstairs!
If we dont have that kind of compatibility,then we not friends…..i dont se us jellying on any other issue BUT sexx.
Nada!

Lioness-

September 16th, 2009
1:12 pm

Melo- I agree!!

M'...celebrant of her 50th decade!!!!

September 16th, 2009
1:16 pm

Great sex is just that great sex…and if that is all that is on the table…then fine…have that and let it be…I remember once when I was about 20 or so, a mother of a school friend told me that her fear about her daughter’s then pending marriage was that the daughter was caught up in the great sex she had with old dude…and her mother told me then (and it still rings true today) that a good piece of arse does not make a good marriage…hence, the divorce a few years later for my girl…let’s not get life and bull manure confused…hehehe

Angie

September 16th, 2009
1:26 pm

congratulations to LUKE & TALI! was rootin’ for ya since day one. *sniff* you guys make a beautiful couple. good luck!!!

Melo

September 16th, 2009
1:35 pm

M and all u lookers..u need both, a good friendship plus great sexx…

Looking back, i think sexx was a huge reason for the demise of my first marriage….

She was good woman,thru and thru..but not compatible with me sexually.Kinda like tight legged with it…
I was a gunslinger! :lol:
Consequently, i spent more and more time,outside of the home and away from her..ended up looking at other phine body endowmnets..u know the body swerving, tight booty mamas out there…. :lol:
The rest is Queen! :lol:

aggwitty

September 16th, 2009
1:43 pm

when the sex is gone?

Man shiiiiiiiiiiiiddddd they got viagra, pumps and lube. The sex aint NEVAH gonna be gone. NEVAH.

that said, friendship is important lol

M'...celebrant of her 50th decade!!!!

September 16th, 2009
1:45 pm

@melo

What…you think that you need to tell me what I have known for like…a long time????…uh-huh…seems to me that you are the johnny-come-lately about the reality of the two being necessary…uh, I have never confused great sex with the potential for a good relationship…and I have never committed to a relationship b/c the sex was great…otherwise, I would be another Elizabeth Taylor in the relationship department…hehehe

aggwitty

September 16th, 2009
1:48 pm

m’ you 500?

Leggs

September 16th, 2009
1:52 pm

@M’, please give me some of what you’re drinking. By George, I think you’ve found the fountain of youth!