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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Can You Be My Co-Star?

I haven’t watched Oprah’s interview with Whitney Houston in it’s entirety yet, but I saw a portion of it. I believe Oprah asked if her ex-husband, Bobby Brown was ever jealous of her success.  Houston paused for a moment before answering yes, but she mentioned that when her career skyrocketed, he was supportive. Her career and success took center stage and he took on the role of protector and supportive husband, and she loved that.

When we discussed single successful women,  I noticed that the new male-female relationship dynamic is probably completely new territory. Many of us grew up with our fathers’ career and ambitions taking center stage.

So how would a couple navigate the whole new world of being more versatile and flexible to the modern-day circumstances?

Ladies, are you meeting or dating men that would feel comfortable with your career taking center stage?  I honestly think that men would be willing to be supportive for the right woman.

Do you think it is possible to have an equal and loving partnership if the woman is the “leading lady” and her man is in the supporting role?

I know that men often say that loyalty and support is an absolute must in their woman. Are men able to provide the same to women when her career is red hot?  What part of being the co-star instead of the star of the show would bother you? How can women help to make this dynamic work for you?

286 comments Add your comment

Rell - the ruler is back

September 15th, 2009
4:07 pm

She knew he was not much of a “housekeeper” before she married him. She knew he had no ambition and was used to getting by on his looks. She signed on to his program and now she’s having buyer’s remorse. But she loves her sorry, pretty husband. No crime in that, just call it what it is. She knew he didn’t have any ambition. She may have to be content wearing the pants & the dress in that relationship. She isn’t going anywhere.

I feel zero sympathy for this woman. I know people that are in way worst

WORD!!!!

AmazonRed™ - yay Pats, *sigh* Raiders

September 15th, 2009
4:09 pm

I’m so happy for you Tazzee. You both found winners!

Lioness-

September 15th, 2009
4:10 pm

Leaving the garbage in the house?? :shock:

Leggs- Why doesn’t he help her clean, do the laundry<– Cause he doesn't have to..

Raqi...Coexisting

September 15th, 2009
4:10 pm

I told him that his happiness is more important to me

Tazzee that’s a tricky one right there when a lot men’s happiness is in taking care of home. But it seems like you have a good one.

Dan

September 15th, 2009
4:11 pm

@Tazz

Wonderful, just wonderful.

“As far as him being my co-star, while my career may be more demanding – it is NOT the star of our relationship.”

^^^ that right thurr – realest isht ever on this blog…

We all talking about what “real” men and women do and are. In reality a man does what he has to for his family, and a woman the same.

All this “gender role” nonsense is out the window when the rubber meets the road.

BTW, Tazz just hit chall with the ROD chick and dude.

Respect her gangsta!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lioness-

September 15th, 2009
4:13 pm

Tazz- Hey Girlie ;)

Dan LUVS Gantsa ISH!!

Raqi

September 15th, 2009
4:13 pm

Oh I don’t want to end the day without saying if a man has a wife and she does not work, neither does she clean, cook, takes care of the kiddies and offers no emotional support to her husband…put her arse out.

AmazonRed™ - yay Pats, *sigh* Raiders

September 15th, 2009
4:13 pm

Is Dan in some sort of rap video right now? :lol:

Dan

September 15th, 2009
4:14 pm

Tazz

I need you to add that after your moniker: Respect my love gangster….

M'...Phine, DIVINE and 49!!!

September 15th, 2009
4:14 pm

@Bibay

http://www.batteryedge.com

866-958-8405

Part #: UNV90WAC Universal Laptop Adaptor w/ 8 Round style tips-Fits 90% of laptops, 15-24 Volts ( this is an adjustable meter), 90 watts

@Tazz

Thanks sug…it has been a GOOD day!!!!

Lioness-

September 15th, 2009
4:15 pm

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

September 15th, 2009
4:15 pm

We all talking about what “real” men and women do and are. In reality a man does what he has to for his family, and a woman the same.

Dan – Sho nuff!

Taz – Gotcha self a winna! And so does he!LOL!!

Dan

September 15th, 2009
4:17 pm

@Lioness

I’ve often said I don’t care for foolishness

Tazz cut straight thru to it. Dude was going to get a job to take care of her financially, her only concern was his mental/spritual health.

All this “real” man and “real” woman stuff is as simple as that. Being real with yourself and the people you love. <–that's gangsta

Rell - the ruler is back

September 15th, 2009
4:21 pm

@TAZZ…dude got a stable thinking women..good for him and you..

@dan…i agree…

@raqi…i was wowing because i was thinking along the lines of tazz/kimmie…there are things to be thankful for even in your darkest hour…just saying i saw how my x gave up on me because of some small reason…now that choice does not seem so good now six months later…but again when you live in that perfect bubble with no problems you dont have a concept of that

Rell - I need a five star chick!!!

September 15th, 2009
4:26 pm

keep the juicebox wet and the head stay fi…lol

Raqi

September 15th, 2009
4:28 pm

Rell the way I see things is crap happens but that don’t mean you have to lay in it. Not getting out there and finding something to do to help support your family is akin to laying in the crap. And a good woman will not be crushing a man’s ball at the onset of a mishap but a good woman will not stand for a grown man doing nothing and bringing in nothing.

Bibay

September 15th, 2009
4:31 pm

Ok- don’t know what happened to my earlier post- sorry if this is a repeat. M.- Thanks for the info.

Standing ovation for Tazzee’s 4:06 post.

Rell - I need a five star chick!!!

September 15th, 2009
4:31 pm

@raqi…yep you are right….he could do something…but if you know like i know some jobs are funny with hiring…i remember when i was unemployed…i heard do you think you would like this job with all this on your resume…etc…i had a job snatched from me because they hired someone internal the day after the manager told me to report to work on monday…he knew my wife and called her and said we hiring your husband…lol

Tazzee

September 15th, 2009
4:32 pm

Raqi – I know what you mean about a man’s happiness, that’s why I added the part about him taking care of things around the house. It brings him joy and I let him do it. The reason why I’m not worried about the disparity in out incomes is I know that if him not being the primary breadwinner makes him unhappier than working for himself – he has what it takes to go make that money.

The other thing is, in his last marriage – his business was BOOMING and he put a lot of time into making a lot of money but he was miserable. Like the dudes have said on here – when it was over he just got out and let her have everything (except his work trucks and vintage cars) and started all over again.

AmazonRed™ - yay Pats, *sigh* Raiders

September 15th, 2009
4:33 pm

Just to clarify, I brought up this situation because it was part of the topic. Folks were making excuses for the dude, so I asked where was her sympathy in response to that.

She’s not asking anyone to feel sorry for her. It’s her situation and she’s dealing with it. They are both very blessed and they know it. Just because other folks are worse off doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a problem on her hands. And not dealing with it would make no sense.

She’s trying to figure out a way to make her relationship work without leading to divorce. I’m sure it’s been a real eye opener for them both, especially dealing with this as newlyweds.

Rell - I need a five star chick!!!

September 15th, 2009
4:35 pm

i will be the race car/hitting her curves – lil wayne…lol

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

September 15th, 2009
4:40 pm

Just to clarify, I brought up this situation because it was part of the topic.

I figured as much Amred. It’s all good, just part of a lively discussion! And yeah, you can always find folks that are worse off than you, but that does not make you feel any better while you’re dealing with yours!LOL!!

Tazzee

September 15th, 2009
4:40 pm

Thanks for the kudos folks – but trust, it’s not me – it’s him. He’s real secure about it and I have no choice but to respect him.

AmazonRed™ - yay Pats, *sigh* Raiders

September 15th, 2009
4:42 pm

And yeah, you can always find folks that are worse off than you, but that does not make you feel any better while you’re dealing with yours!LOL!!

kimmie – right :lol:

And it was very nice to get folks perspectives on possible solutions. Cuz how long would any one of us put up with a spouse who we feel wasn’t pulling their weight? (job or not).

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

September 15th, 2009
4:43 pm

He’s real secure about it and I have no choice but to respect him.

Tazz – And that, my friend, is key! A secure man is a beautiful thing!

Lioness-

September 15th, 2009
4:44 pm

Ared- DAMN sure not a year!! Struggling or NOT!

Kimmie- You ain’t lying ;)

Melo

September 15th, 2009
4:44 pm

The way Tazzee is handling her situation is exactly the way it shld be handled,with tact.Shes fortunate in that she got a lil biut of age and maturity on her side…and GOD too.

A younger chic(possibly Ared’s friend) may not fare well.This is the dilemna most of our females face when confronted with that “protector” role,esp when they assumed roses and ice cream,silver and gold and the man providing the cover.
How to communicate and offer supoort without antagonising

AmazonRed™ - yay Pats, *sigh* Raiders

September 15th, 2009
4:45 pm

Thanks for the kudos folks – but trust, it’s not me – it’s him. He’s real secure about it and I have no choice but to respect him.

:D

But you recognize it. ;)

Melo

September 15th, 2009
4:45 pm

damn typos,but u got the gist! :lol:

AmazonRed™ - yay Pats, *sigh* Raiders

September 15th, 2009
4:48 pm

How to communicate and offer supoort without antagonising

melo – Again…she’s done that. At some point it gets old. Had you left your job and still didn’t have one a year later, your story may have ended differently.

What would have happened if your wife had been open and supportive and you still only did the minimum?

It gets old, especially when your “tact” goes ignored.

Tazzee

September 15th, 2009
4:54 pm

Melo – a little bit of age, God and $$$. If I were living paycheck to paycheck, I’m not sure if I’d be the same way – I don’t know. I’d like to think I would be, but I truly don’t know.

Grace

September 15th, 2009
4:57 pm

Good read all day long, Ared your friend took a vow of for better or worst…..This could be a season they’re going thru, who knows, from this point they can only go up!

Have a great evening!

Leggs

September 15th, 2009
4:57 pm

I believe….
Life isn’t about “finding” yourself. Life is about “creating” yourself. Embrace the masterpiece within you!!

Nite!!!

Tazzee

September 15th, 2009
4:59 pm

Have a great evening all!!!

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Scrap U

September 21st, 2009
3:14 am

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