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A Guy Thing?

I will never forget the crazy night I had with a guy I was seeing. We were preparing to leave his house and head to a concert together. As we were backing out the driveway an ex-fling was on the front sidewalk looking a little upset (read: crazy). She wanted to know why he hadn’t called, or returned her calls/messages/emails.

In that kind of situation, a man really has two options: be upfront and give full disclosure on who the woman was, or drive off and pretend she wasn’t really standing there yelling. Which one do you think he chose?  Well, he thought he would just avoid her until the evening was over.

Obviously this didn’t work, and of course minutes later she began calling him.  Why do most guys avoid confrontation of breaking up? Is it just a guy thing, though? Is it hard for women to be the one that calls the time of death on the relationship?

I know a couple of guys that will act like a complete blockhead so that the woman will have no choice but to end things. They would rather do this then explain that she is not the right one for him. Ladies, have you ever experienced this before? Have you ever dated a man who avoided confrontation? Did you call him on it or cut your losses? Have you ever been the one to avoid confrontation in a relationship?

Guys, do you think that some men are like kids and think that men do what women let them do? Is that another way to let a man be a man? Do you think men push the limits to see what they can get away with when it comes to relationships? How would a woman handle a man who is doing that in a dating relationship? Should she stand her ground and let him know he crossed the line?

458 comments Add your comment

Dan

September 11th, 2009
2:00 pm

@lioness

Nowhere in that post do I state anything about “emotions of a woman”. An overly emotional dude should be checked for the switch.

Dan

September 11th, 2009
2:03 pm

@Raqi

Not at all. We “dated” for quite some time.

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
2:04 pm

I think what goes for a man should go for a woman also…
i know emotional men out there.. Hell I have a “friend” lol (really) right now who I’ve known since i was 16. He was kind alike my high school sweet heart… He’s so emotional and needy now it’s sickening… but again i digress.. continue

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
2:05 pm

She was not your jumpoff.

Melo

September 11th, 2009
2:09 pm

Melo you watch that show?…….no and yes,when Queen really wants to and dont wanna go upstairs.

It can be good diversion from the usual.. on wekends, u can watch the re-runs too,esp when/if there is nothing going on on tele.

Dan

September 11th, 2009
2:14 pm

@Raqi

Nope. In fact, that’s why we were together for that long.

She was hella cool with with my sexual desires, had some of her own and was not pressed to express them with me. There wasn’t the hang-up about “I don’t do ___” or nona that stuff.

Anytime. Any place.

Plus, she could (and did) drink me under the table, play dudes and chicks like fiddles and almost got into a fight with a Saint’s fan at the Falcon game. That chick had buck. All around great lady.

Not to romanticize her or anything…

Lioness-

September 11th, 2009
2:15 pm

Dan hearts gangsta chicks..

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
2:17 pm

No Dan I am not asking if she was not your jumpoff, I am saying you were hers. If you don’t believe me ask the guy she was being intimate with.

Tazzee - holding on until 12/30/09

September 11th, 2009
2:19 pm

Melo – my fiance’ will watch the re-runs on the weekends too. I try not to get caught up in the trainwreck but I always do.

It’s funny because I watch after reading SexyCool’s commentary on FB.

Lioness-

September 11th, 2009
2:19 pm

Raqi- I was ABOUT to say that :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dan- You were her piece of tail.. HA!

Chink

September 11th, 2009
2:19 pm

An emotional man is just as bad as an emotional woman..

Tell me about it!!!

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
2:23 pm

Raqi LOL. Of course Dan doesn’t get that he was ole girl’s jump off. That’s impossible right? Oh and Dan, if she was so great, what happened? Why weren’t you able to keep her?

Dan

September 11th, 2009
2:24 pm

@Raqi and Lioness

I was and she was mine. Her dude was up North and we that conversation before anything went down. <– see what I mean about the sexual mentality of a man

And I don't like gangster chicks, she was a real smart gal

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
2:24 pm

Page, now you know he dumped her.

Poppa Grande

September 11th, 2009
2:25 pm

I have only had one really bad breakup and it was because she would not let go even after I spelled it for her. Sometimes, people of both genders have a hard time dealing with rejection. Hence, the whole “Its not you, Its me” BS.

Much like ABC said, if I really cared you would not have to hide in bushes while Ned the Whino tries to rob you. I sat ol’ girl down and told her that the buzzer has sounded to that attempt at a relationship, and there is no overtime. (Not exactly in those terms, though. I actually tried to be courteous, but she took that to mean that I wasn’t really serious about ending the thing.

Just because people say that they were told, doesn’t make it true. Sometimes people hear what they want to hear.

Melo

September 11th, 2009
2:28 pm

my fiance’ will watch the re-runs on the weekends too

i caught another show over the weekend,about those Kardashian sisters..cant remember the show name but based in miami, i believe….funny boy/girl humping stuff tho…
my weekends,i mostly like to watch british/italina/brazilian and bundsliga soccer,golf,msnbc or anything on discovery channel dealing with animals,ocean or nature stuff.
And current news/events ofcourse.
The reality stuff,not so much..For most ladies, i wld say Atlanta House wives aint really a bad show…its fun, tho unreal for those females acting in it.

Poppa Grande

September 11th, 2009
2:29 pm

I have only had one really bad breakup and it was because she would not let go even after I spelled it for her. Sometimes, people of both genders have a hard time dealing with rejection. Hence, the whole “Its not you, Its me” BS.

Much like ABC said, if I really cared you would not have to hide in bushes while Ned the Whino tries to rob you. I sat ol’ girl down and told her that the buzzer has sounded to that attempt at a relationship, and there is no overtime. (Not exactly in those terms, though. I actually tried to be courteous, but she took that to mean that I wasn’t really serious about ending the thing.

Just because people say that they were told, doesn’t make it true. Sometimes people hear what they want to hear.

When I restated that that thing was over, I was not nearly as nice as the first time. As a matter of fact, my last words to her were the following: “Is that plain enough for you? If not, we gotta move back to something more simple first like colors and numbers!” – Of course, then I got the “Why you gotta be so mean?” – I ignored it, and walked on out of the door.

The whole experience prepared me for something better, though.

Blow Me

September 11th, 2009
2:30 pm

MELO- It’s a good book. It actually is tapping on what we are talking about now. Male and Female enegry learning to choose wisely and to know your position. AGRESSIVE-MALE PASSIVE-Femine.
Its pretty deep and on point. However you start the relationship that will be the course of it. Whoever speaks first is Male and that person will be the dominant person and responsible for initating everything in the relationship.

According to her..a feminine female will not be able to have emotionless sex. That’s for a dominant female. A feminine woman bonds through sex and ends up confused afterwards.

That’s what she says.

Lioness- I Only like Ripe Fruits

September 11th, 2009
2:31 pm

Ned the Whino tries to rob you<– :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dan

September 11th, 2009
2:31 pm

@Page/Lioness/Raqi

I was her jumpoff and she was mine.

Her boyfriend was up north and we discussed the parameters of “what we were doing” before anything happened, she initiated it. <– sexual mentality of a man

As to "what happened", she moved to where her boyfriend was

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
2:33 pm

feminine woman bonds through sex and ends up confused afterwards.

me no likey this statement :(

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
2:34 pm

I was her jumpoff and she was mine.

Rewind: Raqi

September 11th, 2009
2:05 pm
She was not your jumpoff.

Dan Nope. In fact, that’s why we were together for that long.

Please explain????

Dan

September 11th, 2009
2:35 pm

Dream_n

Don’t fear the truth! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Lioness- I Only like Ripe Fruits

September 11th, 2009
2:35 pm

A feminine woman bonds through sex and ends up confused afterwards. <– So I am not feminine cause I don't end up confused after sex?? :neutral: HILARIOUS!!

Kym

September 11th, 2009
2:37 pm

Poppa G.

Tell Hines I am not mad. I sent him to the car last night after he fumbled the ball. But he came back and did his job. Besides he beat his self up pretty good last night. So he is back in the good book.

Dan

September 11th, 2009
2:37 pm

She was a jumpoff (i.e. one night stand)

She was an really good FWB

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
2:38 pm

Dan you just proved our point. Women don’t screw like men. She had a boyfriend that fulfilled her needs. You keep her busy until she could get to him.

And why did she move? She’s a woman with a woman’s need. Intimacy.

Melo

September 11th, 2009
2:38 pm

A feminine woman bonds through sex and ends up confused afterwards

i think thats true,for the most part..i know, i know..there are females out there(can u say Kym??) who bone and dispose of guys like guys do to females….. :lol: :lol:

I remeber 1st time i humped my Queen..we had been seeing each other for a minute,then one weekend I invited her to the crib,for a sleep over………

and………………

(to be continued) :lol: :lol: :lol:

Lioness- I Only like Ripe Fruits

September 11th, 2009
2:39 pm

Blow- a feminine female will not be able to have emotionless sex. That’s for a dominant female. A feminine woman bonds through sex and ends up confused afterwards. <– :neutral: The author must be a man posing as a woman.. That is PURE foolishness!

Sybil

September 11th, 2009
2:39 pm

LMAO at the duplicity.

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
2:40 pm

The only way I know a woman can sex sanes emotions and intimacy is when another is fulfilling those needs. And guess which needs will win every time.

Lioness- I Only like Ripe Fruits

September 11th, 2009
2:41 pm

A dominant woman can’t be feminine??? WOW!!

Melo

September 11th, 2009
2:42 pm

feminine woman bonds through sex and ends up confused afterwards…..me no likey this statement

Dream_n Mental REFRESH

blog: ur boyfriend is gon murder u,leave,please leave

Dream_n,naw,he not gon do that.he loves his kid(to her mind that means he luvs her too),so i aint gon nowhere!

clear NOW???? :lol: :lol:

Dan

September 11th, 2009
2:43 pm

Correction: she was NOT a jumpoff (ie one night stand)

Kym

September 11th, 2009
2:44 pm

Melo please don’t pretend to know or associated me with any of your “ideas”.

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
2:44 pm

The author must be a man posing as a woman.. That is PURE foolishness!

FOOLYWANG AT ITS BEST!!!!!

Poppa Grande

September 11th, 2009
2:44 pm

Kym

I’ll send him an e-mail.

I’m sure he was hard on himself. He was due. He had not fumbled since 2006.

He’s good now for 2009. Pittsburgh didn’t impress me though. Steelers gotta be able to run the ball against defenses like the Ravens. Otherwise, that Steeler defense will get worn down by mid season.

Troy P is starting to experience the Madden curse. Larry Fitzgerald and the Cards better look out.

Sybil

September 11th, 2009
2:45 pm

Jumpoff does not equal one night stand.

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
2:46 pm

Lioness- I Only like Ripe Fruits

September 11th, 2009
2:46 pm

I like a man that is tune with his feelings.. A man that is a pure hard tail is not the move for me.. Makes them seem like they aren’t human.. Cry sometimes dude!

Dan

September 11th, 2009
2:47 pm

@Raqi

That’s the thing, while she was here we did what we did; I had no problem with her going to her boyfriend. It was a mutual choice to proceed.

I’ze a grown-up, I knew what I was gittin into

Chink

September 11th, 2009
2:48 pm

The only way I know a woman can sex sanes emotions and intimacy is when another is fulfilling those needs. And guess which needs will win every time.

I AGREE!!!

Blow Me

September 11th, 2009
2:49 pm

LIONESS- I believe this….I mean keep in mind sex was not meant to be a recreational funtime like it is. lol. This is the new age stuff. Sex was created to bond and create a life. So to say you can’t are you able to do as MEN do…you can’t. Genetically you can not do it.

Its takes alot to remain keeping emotions completely out of relationships. Its a constant work….and how often are we talking about jumpin off? Is there any type of a relationsihp outside of the romp fest? Is this an ex that you know there is no future with? Jumpoffs for us are usually the BOTTOM out guys. lol. Its like that fire hose in the glass case…break when emergency. lol!

Sybil

September 11th, 2009
2:49 pm

If she had a man, you were the jump off.

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
2:50 pm

Dan you need more people.

Leggs

September 11th, 2009
2:51 pm

I am under the table…..It is hysterical when people try to back pedal and forget what they originally said.

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
2:52 pm

Sybil he ain’t getting it.

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
2:53 pm

Dan we are only here to help.

Leggs

September 11th, 2009
2:54 pm

@Sybil, thank you (both posts)!

Lioness- I Only like Ripe Fruits

September 11th, 2009
2:54 pm

Blow- Is there any type of a relationsihp outside of the romp fest?<– Does a friendship count?

Is this an ex that you know there is no future with?<– No, just a friend..

Jumpoffs for us are usually the BOTTOM out guys<– Not necessarily.. Not everyone wants a relationship but most people enjoy having bomb sex.. :razz: