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A Guy Thing?

I will never forget the crazy night I had with a guy I was seeing. We were preparing to leave his house and head to a concert together. As we were backing out the driveway an ex-fling was on the front sidewalk looking a little upset (read: crazy). She wanted to know why he hadn’t called, or returned her calls/messages/emails.

In that kind of situation, a man really has two options: be upfront and give full disclosure on who the woman was, or drive off and pretend she wasn’t really standing there yelling. Which one do you think he chose?  Well, he thought he would just avoid her until the evening was over.

Obviously this didn’t work, and of course minutes later she began calling him.  Why do most guys avoid confrontation of breaking up? Is it just a guy thing, though? Is it hard for women to be the one that calls the time of death on the relationship?

I know a couple of guys that will act like a complete blockhead so that the woman will have no choice but to end things. They would rather do this then explain that she is not the right one for him. Ladies, have you ever experienced this before? Have you ever dated a man who avoided confrontation? Did you call him on it or cut your losses? Have you ever been the one to avoid confrontation in a relationship?

Guys, do you think that some men are like kids and think that men do what women let them do? Is that another way to let a man be a man? Do you think men push the limits to see what they can get away with when it comes to relationships? How would a woman handle a man who is doing that in a dating relationship? Should she stand her ground and let him know he crossed the line?

458 comments Add your comment

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
11:57 am

Eli-Since when have women been able to seperate sex from emotions?<– Are you serious?? How old are you again?

Raqi- :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dan

September 11th, 2009
11:58 am

@Raqi

I do, but I am cheap.

@Page

The thing of it is this, some guys are afraid of hurting women (that whole “fairer sex” thing). And it’s not that I actively hurt anyone, I am a believer in the equality of person regarding women; that is, we are both adults, capable of making our own (informed) decisions and responsible for our actions therewith.

Guys that don’t play the game like I do have many motivations. Among them:

1) Don’t wanna hurt her feelings;

2) don’t wanna hear about it;

3) don’t care if she gets hurt;

4) etc. (insert reason(s) here).

But I can only speak for “da kid” regarding my intentions and motivations, no one else’s.

Disclaimer: the above list is indicative of conversations with other men about motivations and noted for entertainment purposes only. The writer of the this forfeits no “claim to the game” and does not revoke “playa card”.

Inhale Sexy. Exhale Cool.

September 11th, 2009
11:59 am

Page – Don’t let ‘em getcha dander up, chica!!1

(Not that you are. I just wanted to type “dander!”)

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
11:59 am

Eli- Since when has sex meant love???

Ms. Main

September 11th, 2009
12:00 pm

Raqi I know right…I don’t play those kinds of games though.

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
12:00 pm

Like someone said, there are women who don’t give a crap about dudes…but, to be with them, you need to pay by the hour (or in some of you dude’s cases, the minute). I would think it would be a lot easier to deal with “women of the night”. Although, they still bleed every month, so they can be emotional too, right? Afterall, every man pays for sex in some way or another. Maybe not directly, as in leaving money on the night stand, but indirectly, as in movies, dinner or whatever other activity men feel women use them for. news flash dudes, if you feel like a woman is using you or is a gold digger and using you for a free drink, movie or $10.00 movie at atlantic station, then why do you do it?

last weekend i was at Leopard Lounge and a dude told me and Staceye: “Atlanta is the home of the $20,000 a year millionaire”. dudes need to get a grip for real. oh, my bad, a woman’s snatch ain’t nothing right? who was it on this very blog that said “women need to stop acting like their p&ssy is laced in gold”? PS- APPARENTLY IT IS!

Leggs

September 11th, 2009
12:00 pm

@Elijah, you guys act like your the only one with stock on the corner market. A lot of women can have emotionless sex. Newsflash, women too just want that itch scratched and scoot you out the door when finished. It was good, thank you, bye bye!

Not only that, some folk get paid for that. Do you remember what that profession is called?

Dan

September 11th, 2009
12:01 pm

Request to initiate new blog rule:

A man can’t tell a woman how to be, or what is, a REAL woman; and

A woman can’t tell a man how to be, or what is, a REAL man.

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
12:02 pm

LOL SexyCool, my dander is flared up today. i see a few sprinkles that dropped on my humpback! lmao

Melo

September 11th, 2009
12:02 pm

Page..its not that we think we necessarily doing sme special…remimber the topic why do guys do that.

U are females,we guys and we all relate differently based on our genetic make ups…
U have expalined very well why u ladies are emotiaonal..we have known that for a long time no wonder dudes act the weay they do.
SIMPLE
U think men murdering women in Atlanta is waay too high?? it would have been much higher if we allowed ourselves to be drawn inot the BREAK UP CONFRONTATIONS…

Thank God, we dont……..we wean u ladies off slowly and softly…leaving the booty chances open and the possibility of ur pining booty friendship. :lol: :lol:

Thats a WIN for evebody!…. :lol:

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
12:03 pm

I *heart* EJ Dickey and Zane.

Chink

September 11th, 2009
12:05 pm

Page …women need to stop acting like their p&ssy is laced in gold”?

Thats just a tactic so you can give it up…by the way its Platinum :) j/k

Dan

September 11th, 2009
12:06 pm

@Lioness

Your 11:51 more accurately distiguishes “lames” from “mature”.

A “real” man is the man that person has chosen to be and behave as. It makes him no less “real” that he does dumb isht, it just makes him “real” dumb or inconsiderate or immature, etc.

“Real” men like “real” women are all around us. Creating artificial distinctions or “real” and “not real” based on ONE person’s ONE (or repeated) interactions with [us] does not define that person.

I’ve done some dumb isht in my life (as we all have I’m sure), but I would pity the person that attempts to determine my “real”-ness based solely on actions I took at that time; esp. without considering my corrective actions since.

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
12:07 pm

That humpback tagline WAS HILARIOUS!! OMGOOSH!! I WAS CRYING THAT DAY!!!

Dan- Who are you creating rules DUDE?? :lol: :lol: :lol: I forgot to type “TO ME” in my comment

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
12:07 pm

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
12:09 pm

LOL Lioness- SexyCool is crazy! She makes my dander flare up from time to time. lol

Melo- why are you always talking about men murdering or harming women? didn’t you say at one time you have “messed” with other men?

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
12:10 pm

women need to stop acting like their p&ssy is laced in gold

Sometimes it makes you wonder the way some of these menfolk be trying to get up in there.

Compelling

September 11th, 2009
12:11 pm

Ummmm….I wanna see where this all goes….lol.

Inhale Sexy. Exhale Cool.

September 11th, 2009
12:11 pm

Aw, Page, Just don’t make your humpback angry. They need love too.

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
12:13 pm

lmao SexyCool.

Raqi-^5. This blog varies from day to day, even minute to minute.

Melo

September 11th, 2009
12:13 pm

didn’t you say at one time you have “messed” with other men?

NOPE….i think u were on a period that week! :lol:

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
12:14 pm

Let’s all do a collective “wooooo–saaaahhhh” :)

Ms. Main

September 11th, 2009
12:15 pm

Enter your comments here

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
12:15 pm

Ok Melo, I’m pretty sure it was you saying something about mens buttholes or something. I’m wondering if any of the bloggers with elephant memories remember. Anyhoo, my question to you was why are you always talking about men murdering or harming women? what is your fascination with this?

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
12:16 pm

Menfolk- Ain’t NOTHING wrong with asking for the Koodie Cat! Try it one day & see what happens.. You will be surprised :mrgreen:

Dan

September 11th, 2009
12:16 pm

@Page/Raqi

Single ladies should not abhor this thought process. For as long as a men are slaves to their sexual desires, we will continue to treat the object of that desire as if HER nana has gold.

@Lionness

I merely “proposed” a change. Don’t be Joe Wilson. Let the process take it’s course with civil debate. j/k

AmazonRed™

September 11th, 2009
12:16 pm

Page – Zane sucks!

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
12:18 pm

Menfolk- Ain’t NOTHING wrong with asking for the Koodie Cat! Try it one day & see what happens.. You will be surprised

hahahah!!!

Wise Diva

September 11th, 2009
12:19 pm

I can hardly breathe from laughing at the comments today. I friggin love this blog, LOL!!!

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
12:20 pm

we will continue to treat the object of that desire as if HER nana has gold.

Dan so why would not expect a woman to be emotionally attached to her Golden Nana?

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
12:20 pm

why would YOU not expect

Dan

September 11th, 2009
12:20 pm

@Dream_n

I don’t have to deal with the emotional crazy of a woman (after sex) with my mom or my sister(s). They grant me access to the “normal” female crazy, that day-to-day isht that y’all call logic.

Compelling

September 11th, 2009
12:23 pm

I have to agree ARed- I can’t take Zane anymore…it got old real fast.

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
12:23 pm

ARed- go sit down! LOL I like Zane!!

Raqi- Good question to Dan!

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
12:23 pm

I think it is HILARIOUS that some men think that women go crazy/emotional etc for their sex.. PAHLEASE!! Hit the road Jack

Melo

September 11th, 2009
12:23 pm

I have no fascianation with it other than the fact that :

1. its a fact in Atlanta…waay too high

2..smbody here today,Raqi i believe has said it andf i thoght it chimed in with the discussion

3 it is lame for a guy to do it

4 break ups can be/are confronational and to avoid the emotional aspect of it and the crazies,its better to ghost from a situation…women may think its cowardice,guys think its smart!

5..i dont shy away from talking about so called touchy subjects.I aint politically correct like that!

Now,the issue u were trying to tell about me(my elephant memory) was about me going to the doc for a prostate exam and the doc putting his hand up my dudu hole with his jellied fingure to feel my prostate(thats one of the standard exam procedures, im told)… and i said it didnt feel all that bad…thats the closest to being boned by a guy i have had…if that makes me homo,i guess in ur def, i am then. :lol: :lol:

Elijah

September 11th, 2009
12:24 pm

@Ms. 90210….. Eli has no problem with the ladies, I am upfront with my intentions, the ladies know what I want! But I use to listen to a lot of sob stories from the ladies. Some men have made it very clear where they stand in the relationship still some women do not want to believe he just want the puddy!

@ Lioness I am old enough to put a big smile on your face everyday! :wink:

@Kym…. I like how you think a free spirited thinking woman who who thinks outside the box and does not conform to societal norms regarding sex! :smile:

Hello Ms. Leggs!

Inhale Sexy. Exhale Cool.

September 11th, 2009
12:25 pm

ARed – Looks like somebody’s momma. I met her and was like…..er, um, hmphf…I already thought she was tiptoing on the highest levels of skankdom…Now, that I’ve met her – her stuff totally does not work for me.

I feel like she keeps writing the same book (i.e. using the same formula) the way this One Dude keeps making the same movie. (Although, I will be going to support said same movie because he is bringing economic advantages to my neighborhood since his studio is down the street from my complex.)

Ms. Main

September 11th, 2009
12:26 pm

Single ladies should not abhor this thought process. For as long as a men are slaves to their sexual desires, we will continue to treat the object of that desire as if HER nana has gold.

WOW…..that’s rich

Dan

September 11th, 2009
12:27 pm

@Raqi

It’s not that I wouldn’t expect her to.

But a “seasoned” male has sown his royal oats, and realizes, recognizes, appreciates, and controls his desires for “random” women (most of the time, cause…..let me stop). It’s the cats that haven’t had “enough”, or just haven’t thought about it; sex (the act) is really just sex. Be she tall, short, thin, big, cute, ugly, it’s pretty much the same thing.

Maturity brings with it the realization that the trouble with all that “extra” stuff just ain’t worth it. Now, some cats take this as the sign that it’s time to get married, others don’t. Regardless, this class of dude is aware that sex with the hassle of dealing with only one woman’s crazy (shout out to PG for that pearl of wisdom) is a lot easier.

Plus, it gives you more time to get other things done.

Chasing women is a job in and of itself

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
12:28 pm

I think it is HILARIOUS that some men think that women go crazy/emotional etc for their sex.. PAHLEASE!! Hit the road Jack

Please say it again…. We are attracted to intelligence, suaveness(if that’s a word), the way you treat us, and att the other attributes of a “good man”.. not the way you hold it down in the bedroom… that’s just an added plus if you can “cross our eyes & makes us wooo—weeeee!!!!” lmao

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
12:29 pm

Eli are you talking to me when you said Ms. 90210? Are you talking in the 3rd person?

Dan

September 11th, 2009
12:29 pm

@Lioness

The same question about a woman and her belief that her sex is the best thing walking could be asked.

Men AND women overvalue their sexual prowess.

Inhale Sexy. Exhale Cool.

September 11th, 2009
12:30 pm

LMAO…I just read how THAT reads….

What I meant to say was….ZANE looks like somebody’s momma.

Did I catch that before suffering the Wrathe of the Red?

~laughing so hard I can’t breathe~

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
12:30 pm

I knew a person who hid in my bushes before.. Scary ISH!!!

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
12:30 pm

Lioness, I also dont think it is soley because of the sex. For me, it is the sex, but moreseo how dude treats me before and after the sex.

Ladies, if you want to read a good book, I recommend reading Why Men Marry B!tches, by Sherry Argove.

Angie

September 11th, 2009
12:31 pm

**I know a couple of guys that will act like a complete blockhead so that the woman will have no choice but to end things.**

lol. yep! the one i dismissed just last night stated *there are many women who want your spot!*

neeegro puleez. lol. now i know why the last one left you. he’s a trip.

morning.

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
12:32 pm

*Side eye* @ SexyCool at “One Dude”! LOL I have heard all of the critcism. I guess I see it differently.

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
12:33 pm

@ Dan

lol.. not after sex…. om my goodness!!

I’m talking about in general.. (if you’re a close family) I know they have had to come to you at some point in their lives… btw: another question: Is it only the emotional stuff after (sex)/break up that you guys can’t deal with or is it our emotions in general??

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
12:33 pm

LOL @ ARed looks like somebody’s mama! ARed, you have kids? lmao