accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

A Guy Thing?

I will never forget the crazy night I had with a guy I was seeing. We were preparing to leave his house and head to a concert together. As we were backing out the driveway an ex-fling was on the front sidewalk looking a little upset (read: crazy). She wanted to know why he hadn’t called, or returned her calls/messages/emails.

In that kind of situation, a man really has two options: be upfront and give full disclosure on who the woman was, or drive off and pretend she wasn’t really standing there yelling. Which one do you think he chose?  Well, he thought he would just avoid her until the evening was over.

Obviously this didn’t work, and of course minutes later she began calling him.  Why do most guys avoid confrontation of breaking up? Is it just a guy thing, though? Is it hard for women to be the one that calls the time of death on the relationship?

I know a couple of guys that will act like a complete blockhead so that the woman will have no choice but to end things. They would rather do this then explain that she is not the right one for him. Ladies, have you ever experienced this before? Have you ever dated a man who avoided confrontation? Did you call him on it or cut your losses? Have you ever been the one to avoid confrontation in a relationship?

Guys, do you think that some men are like kids and think that men do what women let them do? Is that another way to let a man be a man? Do you think men push the limits to see what they can get away with when it comes to relationships? How would a woman handle a man who is doing that in a dating relationship? Should she stand her ground and let him know he crossed the line?

458 comments Add your comment

Kym

September 11th, 2009
10:27 am

You know I really have to wonder about this whole ajc filter. Now I have seen post come across with all kinds of freak flaptrap but my post gets stuck in the rinse cycle.

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
10:29 am

Swiss I read about that story Wednesday. That was just too funny.

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
10:29 am

Totally agree Raqi… it’s always vice versa.

Just as Compelling said… you do have those crazies.. “so maybe just maybe” the silent treatment might work on those (nut) cases.

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
10:30 am

does anyone know of a good online music station that is free? i usually use pandora but i used up all my free time for the month.

dw

September 11th, 2009
10:30 am

@Peach–Experiences following the first part lead us to go the route of the second part in situations that arise later. You ladies are having a good laugh from my comment, but you know good and well how yall act when a dude says it’s over, and if you’re one that takes it on the chin and keeps it moving then you’re a rare breed.
But, the truth is, when it comes to breaking up women are way more emotional, and tend to drag things out in an attempt to “save or salvage” the relationship.
Just like No means No. It’s over means It’s over, hit the bricks, kick rocks, vamp, bounce, adios, holla…etc. BEAT IT!

Inhale Sexy. Exhale Cool.

September 11th, 2009
10:30 am

I have NEVER done the Fatal Attraction bit. It’s not Sexy or Cool. ~giggling~

Dan

September 11th, 2009
10:32 am

Morning,

Yeah, the D don’t take kindly to unannounced visits AT ALL.

But since I travel, I don’t have to worry about that often (yahh, me!).

On topic:

There are women that will not take “no” for an answer. They (hereafter referring to the nebulous) just can’t/won’t accept it. But to be on a date and have that drama unravel is unfortunate. If dude knew that there was a possibility of this happening, he shoulda let you know up front WD (informed consent).

As for the general nuttiness of the “wont-let-go” kinda folks, I am not above restraining orders. I have no shame in walking into a precinct and asking for one.

Agreed also on the “men bug out too”, but them be some punks

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
10:32 am

yeah. I don’t understand how people can put so much into dating or a relationship with someone who is doing nothing! one sided realtionships are the worst. how many times have i heard a woman say “yeah girl, so and so is my boyfriend now. i cooked for him, take him out, took him to meet mama, nem, etc.” then said dude is like “ummm yeah ShaQusihsia is cool, but we just kickin it. it ain’t all that”. c’mon!

Man thats funny.. but foul… :)

Inhale Sexy. Exhale Cool.

September 11th, 2009
10:34 am

dw – Count me among the rare breed. If you are man enough to come to me and keep it 100. I am woman enough to put my pumps on the pavement and keep it moving.

And seriously, dude, nine times outta ten, we saw that sht coming. We were just giving y’all a chance to get your sht together. Sadly, most never do.

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
10:36 am

@ dw

If you were with a woman for a considrable amount of time, then it’s expected for the water works to happen or her to feel some kind of way, or try to salvage the relationship… but if you were only talking for about a month or 2 and she starts getting straight crazy when you want clock out, then that’s another story… get with Dan about getting the restraining order…

AmazonRed™

September 11th, 2009
10:37 am

You are an intense luver, i can see..

:lol:

melo – Most of the drama happened after his dad died and I was trying to keep him from becoming totally withdrawn. Many people claimed to have not to have seen or heard from him in weeks. So I thought I was doing something by letting him know I really cared.

Some of it blew up in my face tho!

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
10:38 am

lol @ “hit the bricks”.

Dream_n- lol i’m serious. if i had a dollar for each time i have heard this story i would be rich by now.

Mike Jones (who)

September 11th, 2009
10:39 am

Page

TRy Imeem.com
Its free all you have to do is register

Inhale Sexy. Exhale Cool.

September 11th, 2009
10:40 am

Crazy people don’t give a flying flip about restraining orders.

C tha 1

September 11th, 2009
10:40 am

Am I a chauvanist? Some one help me out. I’ve never really asked myself this question.

Have you ever let a woman drive your car in your life (family members don’t count)? No

Do you prefer to drive rather than your wife or SO? Yes

Have you ever given the keys to your place of residence to anyone other than your spouse? Hell no. I was a little leary when I had a roomate in college and he gave his girlfriend the keys to our appartment, and half the time we were up to no good. But that’s what you get in a roommate situation.

SS

September 11th, 2009
10:41 am

I have learned through my many years of dating, that when a guy stops calling me, seeing me, I leave him one message. If he does not return my call, I walk away. There are other fish in the sea and I have better things to do than to chase a guy down and seem desperate. As the saying goes “he is just not into you :) ”. If a guy really wanted to be with me, he would be with me.

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
10:41 am

it’s funny how dudes complain about women being emotional. let’s get real here. maybe you need to read the venus/mars books from dr. john gray. news flash for the men: WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL BY NATURE! IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS EMOTIONAL, THEN GET WITH A DUDE! i mean, you want a woman to be feminine, sexy, blah blah blah but she can’t be emotional with certain things? GTFOH. if you don’t want to deal with a woman’s emotions, i’ll say it again, GET WITH A DUDE AND STFU!

Shawon

September 11th, 2009
10:41 am

Maybe girls are just too damned needy, and can’t take a hint. lol.

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
10:42 am

gracias, Mike Jones. i’m going to check it out now.

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
10:44 am

Crazy people don’t give a flying flip about restraining orders.

LOL You are correct. One of my girl friends was entangled with a crazy and the cop that came out to her house one evening told her to get a restraining order. She asked him have they started making them to stop bullets now.

I mean really. What does a restraining order do?

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
10:45 am

WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL BY NATURE! IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS EMOTIONAL, THEN GET WITH A DUDE!

Hilarioue… i love it :)

note: but when you do don’t come back to women you are officially GAY! bi/sexual my azz.

okay.. back on topic lol

@ Shawon : are you serious????

AmazonRed™

September 11th, 2009
10:46 am

WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL BY NATURE! IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS EMOTIONAL, THEN GET WITH A DUDE!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Dream_n

September 11th, 2009
10:46 am

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
10:46 am

Ya’ll are on it today! Never understood playing private eye on a dude.. hiding in bushes, trees & popping up @ workplaces etc.. That is a sign of crazy!
DUDES, JUST TELL THE TRUTH!!!

Page- then said dude is like “ummm yeah ShaQusihsia is cool, but we just kickin it. it ain’t all that<– Dudes lie ALL THE TIME to look good in front of their friends.. VERY LAME! :neutral:
Your 10:41 is REAL TALK!!

Sexy- :lol: :lol: :lol: You ain't NEVER lied!

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
10:48 am

Good Morning All

Diva- What’s up with this filter? Annoying

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
10:48 am

ok Mike Jones, i signed up, but i don’t see how to work it. i just want something that plays the music. i dont want to have to download and add songs to the playlist.

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
10:49 am

Page- then said dude is like “ummm yeah ShaQusihsia is cool, but we just kickin it. it ain’t all that”. <– Lame dudes lie ALL THE TIME about the status of their relationships to look like some sort of playa.. :neutral: Sha Sha may be telling the truth..
Your 10:41 is REAL TALK!!

AmazonRed™

September 11th, 2009
10:50 am

Maybe girls are just too damned needy, and can’t take a hint. lol.

Silly Rabbit…hints are for kids!

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
10:50 am

Ctha1 I wouldn’t say that sounds like you are a chauvanist but rather very territorial or particular about your possessions?

My husband prefers to drive because he thinks that men are better drivers. That attitude is more chauvanistic than your examples.

Kym

September 11th, 2009
10:51 am

The purpose of the restraining order is to scare the person and let them no law enforcement is on alert. The po-po can’t patrol outside your house 24/7 because “Lil Darrell” is upset you left him. He has to do something to get arrested.

Kym

September 11th, 2009
10:52 am

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
10:52 am

Sexy- Crazy people don’t give a flying flip about restraining orders.<– :lol: :lol: :lol: They sure don't cause they don't work! :lol: :lol:

Melo

September 11th, 2009
10:52 am

i mean, you want a woman to be feminine, sexy, blah blah blah but she can’t be emotional with certain things?

nice one Page!

But we really want u ladies to be able to tune in and out….if there is evidence of no relationship,keep it moving..no need for us guys to write u ladies a thesis to explain our positions.Its over means its over, read,”I DONT WANT U NO MORE”….
Dont give me that, “But we had sex last Friday” Duuuuuh… :lol:

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
10:55 am

Did ya sleep on the wrong side?
Im catching a bad vibe
And if contagious
Whats the latest?
Speak your heart
Dont bite your tongue
Dont get it twisted
Dont miss-use
Whats your problem?
Lets resolve
We can solve
Whats the causes?
Its official
You got issues
I got issues
But I know I miss you
Am I suposed to change?
Are you supposed to change?(yeah)
Who should be heard?
Who should be blamed?

Am I supposed to change?
Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt?
Who sould be shamed?(mmh)

Am I supposed to change?
Are you supposed to change?
Who should be heard?
Will we remain oh I?

We need a resolution

Page1908

September 11th, 2009
10:55 am

lol. i get tired azz hell hearing dudes say stuff like “yeah she was cool, but she was too emotional or she caught feelings yada yada yada”. i mean, what do you expect? when a woman hits puberty, news flash, she get’s a period every month! she has hormones. women are emotional. it’s like dudes want a woman to be a woman in some aspects, but not in others. get a grip and go back to elementary science class and learn the differences between men and women. men put women down for being “too needy, emotional, clingy” or whatever but that is the way women are point blank! just like men love scratching their ballz, we women cannot stop you from being a man. it is who you are! gtfoh!
IF THE WOMAN YOU ARE DATING OR CONSIDER A JUMP OFF, BOOTY CALL, WHAT-THE-EFF-EVER IS SO CALLED CATCHING FEELINS, GETTING EMOTIONAL, TOO CLINGLY OR WHATEVER, OH WELL. GET WITH A DUDE! AS LONG AS YOU ARE DATING (AND SEXING) WOMEN, THIS COMES WITH THE TERRITORY!

Raqi

September 11th, 2009
10:55 am

Kym true but I don’t think true crazies scare that easy. And not many stick around while you call the cops and wait for them to come.

If someone threatens your life getting a restraining order does nothing. Instead of a restraining order she got a gun and a permit to carry it on her person.

jw

September 11th, 2009
10:55 am

Ladies, Just walk away and DON’T LOOK BACK. When he comes calling agin and he almost always DOES at some point, remeber why it did not work and REMIND HIM OF IT. Do not let him back in, if it did not work the first time it probably will not work the next time. Once a cheater ALWAYS a Cheater, etc, etc.. . I am not one for confrontation either. I just let things go quietly, they always come back and then I have to tell them sorry NO THANK YOU SIR!

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
10:57 am

Ared- Silly Rabbit…hints are for kids!<–YOUSA a FOOL!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Page- Continue Preaching!!

Tazzee - holding on until 12/30/09

September 11th, 2009
10:58 am

Morning Folks!

I am NOT one to avoid confrontation – if I feel a confrontation is needed then I will get to confronting. But most times it doesn’t even get that far.

I will admit that I was guilty of calling a guy after the disappearing act. That stemmed from when one of my boyfriends got in a car accident after leaving my house. We usually talked every day and when he didn’t call one day, I just thought he was done – then I got the call that he was in the hospital. After that (and a few other events) I got in the habit of calling to make sure they were still alive. And when I got in touch with the guy I would tell him that and hang up – no need to talk after that disappearing act. But then I got older and realized that some guys are just trifling like that and if they pulled a disappearing act, I’d call once – say a prayer for them and keep it moving.

My last breakup happened when emotions were really high. After about 3 weeks I initiated the conversation to determine what REALLY caused the break-up. After that we toyed with getting back together – well he ‘toyed’ with it and one day I just decided to walk away. I am so glad I did.

Page – I’m planning to see TP’s new movie this weekend. I’m trying to strategize my location.

Inhale Sexy. Exhale Cool.

September 11th, 2009
10:58 am

Kym – I would agree with your 1051a point if we didn’t all know that “Lil Darrell” wasn’t functionally retarded and has a lesser regard for all things legal.

Dan

September 11th, 2009
10:59 am

@Page

It’s not about being “emotional” (that’s a misuse of the word), most guys are usually referring to the actions females take in an uncontrolled emotional state.

Emotions are natural – men and women have them; but we men (somma us) have been trained to control our responses. For example: a man can’t go punching “stuff” because he’s angry – even though he may feel like it. Women in general don’t have that cultural limitation, and the “[too] emotional” women REALLY go off.

IMO

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 11th, 2009
10:59 am

Its called turning off the oxygen, so we dont have to be the one that breaks up with you.. But hey women do it also where they wait for their “Out” and then boom a dude is left there pining for her after she has checked out and moved onto the next relationship.. Evrybody does it because no one wants to be the bad guy in the relationship orwants to hurt someones feelings. I guess my logic is if they breakup with me they will feel better about it, eventhough had I checked out emotionally sometime agao..

Inhale Sexy. Exhale Cool.

September 11th, 2009
11:00 am

Correction – if we all didn’t know “Lil Darrell” IS functionally retarded.

Lioness- The Glass of Merlot Called, I Answered then Went to Sleep

September 11th, 2009
11:01 am

Raqi- I agree! Restraining orders are a JOKE and EVERYONE knows it!!!

Question : Why is it ALWAYS called a confrontation & not a conversation?

Dan

September 11th, 2009
11:02 am

@Page

Was that not you the other day imploring me to recognize that women can play men for sex as well? A: I think it was

Another question then, how are we to know that the sexual act(s) are meaningful to you, unless you tell us?

Mike Jones (who)

September 11th, 2009
11:04 am

Page
You don’t have to sign up.
Just pick an artist and it will find songs that are similar and keep playing

Mike Jones (who)

September 11th, 2009
11:04 am

Correction
you have to sign up, you don’t have to create a playlist.

Sybil

September 11th, 2009
11:05 am

The kind of people that you usually need a restraining order against are usually not the kind of people who care about being issued one.

Compelling

September 11th, 2009
11:06 am

LOL @ Lioness! I love that We Need a Resoluation song. Or in the words of Toni Braxton, Just Be A Man About It.

Grace

September 11th, 2009
11:07 am

Tazzee I can relate so well with your post. :wink: