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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Jealous Much?

Yesterday we talked about how to draw the line on flirting and being too tempted. Today, I wanted to touch on how to handle being with someone who is extremely insecure. I’ve had a jealous boyfriend before and it’s not always an easy feat to reassure someone that you are just friendly and flirty by nature. What do you think about asking a person to change that part of their personality so that you can feel more secure about the relationship?

There is only so much jealousy a person can handle. Have you dated someone who was jealous? What were the signs that they were that way? Is there a way to spot this red flag before you are in a relationship with someone?

Have you ever struggled with jealous and insecurity personally? How did it impact your dating or your relationships? What can one do to let the jealousy and insecurity go?

746 comments Add your comment

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:27 pm

Now I am positive Professor that you do not know AGGRESIVELY WITTY.

Dan

September 9th, 2009
1:27 pm

@Taliq

Co-sign that 1:24

“If you you got it, git her” <– Dolemite

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:28 pm

LOL SexyCool. To Page “dander” is like saying Mufasa.

SexyCool - It's funny. THIS week, I'm patient.

September 9th, 2009
1:28 pm

AAAAaaaannndddd one more time just because….. DANDER!!!!

Melo

September 9th, 2009
1:29 pm

Mufasa???

what that mean Raqi??

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:29 pm

Professor which standards are you speaking of?

Professor fill in the blank___

September 9th, 2009
1:30 pm

@Page it was interesting to see a woman “stoop” that low to check on a man. It made me think, where are we as women in Atlanta? I just thought it was an all time low. Maybe I used the wrong adj for the situation…maybe it was not jealousy…maybe it was stalker, crazy, foolishness…I don’t know. I guess I was thinking w/o SPELLING out all the small points…what would make someone jealous and how low will they go? Is there an off/on valve?

W8©

September 9th, 2009
1:31 pm

@Dan- i did not even think that her husband may be gay…and jealous….jerry springerish…but yet a good point…

Blue_Kolla

September 9th, 2009
1:31 pm

Leggs, just in case, the cobwebs that are being referred to are a result of the lack of production of vaginal juices; in other words, female abstinence.

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
1:32 pm

Melo,
[they dont want just u coz u not good at keeping them…u good at attracting them with good times in clubs and all…..
cld be ur ways,ur wang gets tired,the liqor gets stale and the clubs get boring…time for another fixx and out they go!]

true but i can’t change my ways for them HOs, that’d be silly on my part. And I can’t leave the HOs for now cuz I dont wanna let go of all these sexy bodies. And I mean it aint all about sex, i like cuddling, movies etc blah blah too so long as sex is somewhere on the agenda. so i blog about being hurt by these HOs, but tonight imma still holla at shawty and ask if we can touch each other. Tomorrow though imma wonder how many other dudes she’ll let touch her. I’ll wish i could be the only one, but i won’t make an effort to make that happen. I dont think she’s worth it. Someday though she’ll do something that pisses me off, like get to my apartment at 1am even though we said 7pm. I’ll forget i’m supposed to be a playa and i’ll put her out and call her a HO. The next day imma wonder y i let go of that nice piece of booty. Why did i get unnecessarily emotional?

Melo

September 9th, 2009
1:34 pm

im looking at a pic of Steve Jobs and dude looks real sick…

im buying another iphone coz u know….

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 9th, 2009
1:34 pm

Taliq – First of all youre 30 right.. So you can lose the Yo’s and B’s and converse like a man..

Secondly – I date Grown A$$ women who first off all understand discretion and decency and would never disrespect their relationship in that manner. Theyve seen a little more in life and understand that its not about being flirty for some dude she doesnt know when she has a Man already. Yeah Man I dont deal with boppers or chicks that need to be seen.. I deal with Ladies that already know their worth and dont have to cheapen themselves by smiling in every Tom, Dick and Harry’s face.

Now this is my Lady Im speaking of.. Not a jumpoff.. Yo.

W8©

September 9th, 2009
1:36 pm

@Taliq- You are really keeping it real…atleast you are an Honest Hoe…lmao

SexyCool - Don't lick the humpback.

September 9th, 2009
1:37 pm

Cobwebs. Y’all killing me. WOW!!!

Professor fill in the blank___

September 9th, 2009
1:37 pm

@Raqi I am speaking of the blog standards…oops lack of standards. I know I have mentioned this before it is amazing how when certain people say things it is a big deal, and others say similar things or tell outlandish exp., and the blog plays bobble head shaking in agreement with their friends. That is what I meant. I do recognize the fact that I do not write out long posts spelling out all the details which may cause some to wonder, or have questions but that is neither here or there (judgment is always passed , instead of questions being asked).

aggwitt

September 9th, 2009
1:38 pm

feeeelinnngggssss someone’s catching feeeeellliinnngggssss

Jamdun Queen

September 9th, 2009
1:39 pm

I forgot to mention that the house we live in was purchased as a gift for me by my family. I am wondering if because of that he feels less of a man – although after we were married i told him we should get one together and he states that was not necessary – just trying to make this work

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:40 pm

Infamous you stated a very good point. When out with your mate that’s you all’s time together. Respect.

Professor fill in the blank___

September 9th, 2009
1:40 pm

@Taliq…interesting, but no comment from me at this time.

Are you Serious

September 9th, 2009
1:41 pm

If you were really up on your game you would just come out and ask her what you want to know. Of course, everyone knows what you’re asking. What’s amusing is you being a stat major and using old data to put out a report without so much as an update in your figures! You get an F for that report!

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
1:41 pm

Raqi,
“Taliq are you serious?”

Yup I speaks the truth. Guess I’m just in search of online therapy. I wish someone would have told me being a playa would hurt so much. I used to beleive in love, these days it’s like a culture practiced in some foreign land.

Dan

September 9th, 2009
1:42 pm

@Taliq

What part of the game is that: “wonder who else she let…”?

I’ve never been the one to care, on top of limiting the one’s to whom that thought would even enter my mind.

I’m not antagonizing, just asking

Lioness- Envy is a BIYATCH!!!

September 9th, 2009
1:42 pm

Sexy- AAAAaaaannndddd one more time just because….. DANDER!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Melo- :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Aagg- :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Melo

September 9th, 2009
1:43 pm

the house we live in was purchased as a gift for me by my family

well, there is a whole lot we dont know,right!

i think u got the answer!
hes living in ur family house and proly ur bio relatives show/say it when they visit.

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:43 pm

Professor you lost me. I still see how you are talking about standards. People have a right to agree with whomever they agree with. A lot times those that agree pretty have the same line of thinking when it comes to relationships so no matter what the topic they may tend to pretty much agree.

If a person talks the same way that I don’t agree with, in the same direction with every topic then I will probably disagree with them on most topics. How would that be a lack of standards? I don’t get it.

MR. Unknown

September 9th, 2009
1:44 pm

@ Jamdun Queen ,, Seems like you are answering all of your own questions… @ the rest of the blog ya’ll are funny..

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
1:44 pm

W8,
“@Taliq- You are really keeping it real…atleast you are an Honest Hoe…lmao”

I don’t think there’s any such thing as a honest ho … i’m keeping it real cuz y’all strangers … if i run into one of these females though, best believe imma shed a tear when she tells me how her man cheated on her

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
1:45 pm

“the house we live in was purchased as a gift for me by my family”

Haha … a 37yr old dude living off his 28yr old wifey … and u wonder y he’s acting all grumpy … that’d definately put me in therapy

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:45 pm

lmao SexyCool. stop! *side eye*

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:45 pm

being a playa would hurt so much

Taliq you aren’t a playa, yousa horndog. LOL

Leggs

September 9th, 2009
1:45 pm

@BlueK ~ thank you, I knew that. I was teasing when I asked about dusting once a week. Raqi knew what I was playing with and answered she dusts at least 3x a week. Slow, I’m not!

Dan

September 9th, 2009
1:46 pm

Ladies:

I present to you “Taliq”.

The actual representation of the “broken hearted nice guy turned dog”.

@Taliq

Unless you “took something” from someone, no woman that has lain with you has done so for any reason other than choice.

We are each responsible for our action (thanks President Obama!) and similar to you choosing to lay with them, they choose to lay with you at the end of the day.

Why be hurt about something you can’t control (read: another person’s choices)?

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
1:47 pm

Guess I’m just in search of online therapy

Boo hiss.

Welcome to the asylum.

Professor fill in the blank___

September 9th, 2009
1:47 pm

@Taliq- Wow, I hope everything works out for you. Have you considered taking a break from dating?

A HIT DOG WILL HOLLER…OOPS I MEANT BYTCH WILL HOLLA.

Well gang I am stepping out at 2pm and hopefully I will get back in to read ya’ll this week.

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:48 pm

What part of the game is that: “wonder who else she let…”?

Dan Exactly. W(h)ores are who he admits to wanting and chasing, how can he not except what it is a (w) does. She randomly, frequently lets.

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
1:49 pm

Dan,
[What part of the game is that: “wonder who else she let…”?]

That’s the part of me that grew up in a household where 2 people stayed married and seemed to live happily ever after. My values don’t matchup with those of a player, but my black member feels liberated by my player ways. It wants to shoot at the opposite sex, it cares not that my heart gets caught in the crossfire.

Melo

September 9th, 2009
1:49 pm

some of the things some of uall post here,i wish i cld get a pass to live with uall for jus2 days..just to get up close and personal with the crawwwzy!

i be missing my home cooked collards tho,if i did, dont know if i cld pull it off! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:49 pm

ACCEPT!!!! not except.

Dang I should have not been agreeing with Dan. I done lowered my standards.

W8©

September 9th, 2009
1:51 pm

Taliq- You are just thinking with the wrong head…you will come out of your wilderness in a few years hopefully

aggwitt

September 9th, 2009
1:51 pm

thanks for the update. let us know how the moronlectomy goes

Professor fill in the blank___

September 9th, 2009
1:51 pm

@Raqi I agree with your posts probably 85% or more, and the one you just wrote 100%. In fact my problem is when people jump down one person’s throat for making a statement and fail to show that same reaction when their friend or member of their clique says the same thing. Does that help? I hope so…

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:52 pm

And I forget to ask, Jealous Much?

I knew I could work the title into the conversation. LOL

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:52 pm

Filthy- lol @ lose the ho’s and b’s. man betwen that and broad, jump offs, etc, i’m smdh.

lmao SexyCool! omg omg.

lol Lioness!

leggs- ok yeah that’s what i was saying i was joking.

Professor fill in the blank___

September 9th, 2009
1:54 pm

Melo what do you know about collards? LOL

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
1:54 pm

Professor,
“Have you considered taking a break from dating?”

My brain tells me that’s the best course of action. I keep procrastinating, currently it’s on my 2010 resolution list. It’s like kanye west said … why’s it that everything that’s bad for me feels so good … weed,liqour,sex … if only each of those would feel like sticking your hand in fire, i’d be doing so much more with my life.

MR. Unknown

September 9th, 2009
1:54 pm

@ Melo “hes living in ur family house and proly ur bio relatives show/say it when they visit” ehhh buddy still needs to man up… Sound like buddy doesn’t how to let his voice and choices be known… REmember when you use to date a chick and their brothers and/or father tried to punk you.. but you were like im not that dude to be F”D with.. He seems like he gets punked out everyday… lol how can you be 38 and still be getting punked out

Dan

September 9th, 2009
1:54 pm

@Taliq

Values, smalues.

At a certain point, we all revert to self behavior. Some people eat, some people fugg without recourse, and some participate in other activities.

It’s all self-destructive and it’s all natural. As for the head/heart deal, my boy, you have to reconcile that.

You can start by writing hand written apology letters for all the women you’ve had sex with and then…..

Melo

September 9th, 2009
1:54 pm

leggs- ok yeah that’s what i was saying i was joking

Leggs,u think the cobwebs remark by Page was directed at u?

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:55 pm

Raqi! EXCEPT the dander that SexyCool is talking about! lol

Professor- yes, i agree that the scenario you mentioned is kinda scandalous totally for sure.

SexyCool - Don't lick the humpback.

September 9th, 2009
1:56 pm

Hey diddle diddle.
The cat had a fiddle
and the teacher jumped up way too soon.