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Jealous Much?

Yesterday we talked about how to draw the line on flirting and being too tempted. Today, I wanted to touch on how to handle being with someone who is extremely insecure. I’ve had a jealous boyfriend before and it’s not always an easy feat to reassure someone that you are just friendly and flirty by nature. What do you think about asking a person to change that part of their personality so that you can feel more secure about the relationship?

There is only so much jealousy a person can handle. Have you dated someone who was jealous? What were the signs that they were that way? Is there a way to spot this red flag before you are in a relationship with someone?

Have you ever struggled with jealous and insecurity personally? How did it impact your dating or your relationships? What can one do to let the jealousy and insecurity go?

746 comments Add your comment

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
12:59 pm

lmao at typo

Blue_Kolla

September 9th, 2009
12:59 pm

Ared B_K – That’s fair. There is one dude on here talking that he moves on if he doesn’t get the azz in 3 days.

Now I might get a little ego jolt if I’m hitting in 3 days, but after that I’m pretty sure that she won’t be the new-Main, but just another sideline.

Melo

September 9th, 2009
1:00 pm

Jamdun Queen ,hes got a big problem…

could be control issues,seeing u are a young 28 and proly sexxy etc and hes 37…

but that jealous at u hugging bio relatives is a sign of some waaay deeper issues…..
anybody that says they luv u but want/express that luv to be exclusive of ur other extended family must have deep control issues…potentially dangerous to u too.

keep watching that to see if he tempars it down..if not,maybe its not the perfect union ui thoght it wld be.

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:00 pm

aggwit I don’t think Professor knows you from way back when… LOL

aggwitt

September 9th, 2009
1:01 pm

Professor that got your dander up rather quickly. If you take more than 3 minutes to think about things this would have become clear. My statement regarding your post was not a dig, just an observation. The joint started like a penthouse forum letter. Calm down broad, this is the innanets

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:02 pm

Jamdun is your real name Angelina Jolie?

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:02 pm

lol @ aggwitt and professor.

raqi- yeah aggwitt is an old head blogger lol. hey aggwitt!!

W8©

September 9th, 2009
1:03 pm

I thought it was Kentucky where you married your sister/cousin

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:03 pm

lmao @ aggwitt and “that got your dander up rather quickly”. lmao @ dander.

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:03 pm

Yeah Page and she totally took his statement the wrong way.

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
1:04 pm

W8,
[@Taliq- you are 30 and you like dating under 25? Them hoes don’t even know they hoes yet…you cant complain about what happens with them..lol]

I aint complaining … I’m just standing up and going yo I get jealous … I think it’z cuz of my choice in women … I get insecure but around the right chic I don’t think it be an issue cuz they wouldnt give me that many reasons to feel that way … but umm i aint willing to look for the right chic cuz d sex is so good … and oh no matter how good the sex is … i won’t say no to something that could potentially be better and umm despite the fact i’m open to cheating, i get hella jealous when i think d same is happening to me … i try to stick it out for as long as my black member can win d argument of holding unto the cheating chic but eventually i move onto the next cheating chic (usually by promoting one of my sideline hos to my main shawty).

Leggs

September 9th, 2009
1:04 pm

“some women haven’t had their cobwebs dusted in years?” Cobwebs??? What cobwebs need dusting. What’s up???

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:06 pm

Taliq are you from SoCal?

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:06 pm

that got your dander up rather quickly

aggwit that has become quite the norm for some around here since you’ve been gone.

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:06 pm

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
1:06 pm

Jamdun,

are you sure u aint done more than just hugging your relatives? personally i think i’m out there on the jealousy scale … but if the dude knows that’s your brother and freaks out when u hug your own brother … then umm u might be in pyscho terittory

Cobweb duster

September 9th, 2009
1:07 pm

ohhh,sorry,just checking my equiment! :lol: :lol:

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:07 pm

An insecure out of control horndog. Can that be considered an oxymoron?

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
1:07 pm

page1908 …

nah ain’t from SoCal though I’m a huge lakers fan.

Blue_Kolla

September 9th, 2009
1:08 pm

Raqi I don’t think Professor knows you from way back when… LOL

That, and e’rybody’s gotten a lot more patience. Otherwise they’d be brawlin’ right about now. LOL

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:09 pm

Professor that was interesting.

MR. Unknown

September 9th, 2009
1:09 pm

What up, yall… I see why are not talking about Jealousy no more.. @ Jamdun,, Why are you now just asking for advise? Thats Special Ed type of behavior.. Not good at all.. Thats the type that would kill your whole, because you gave the big piece of chicken to your brother. I don’t know what to tell you on that one… You should have seen them signs alonnng time ago..

Professor fill in the blank___

September 9th, 2009
1:09 pm

We don’t know each other and I don’t read or write penthouse. As with most people on this blog I just state life exp when I feel a need. So the jealous thingy made me think of that…just how far someone will go as it relates to hanging out with someone she did not know just to get tabs on her man. I actually found it deplorable, because it is not done where I come from. However you sound more familiar with the practice so maybe they do it where you are from…

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:10 pm

ok Taliq because you used the word “hella”. go Lakers!!

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:11 pm

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:11 pm

leggs any cobwebs that haven’t been dusted in years.

Cobweb duster

September 9th, 2009
1:13 pm

Taliq,is a playa and jealousy too…i dont get that….

a playa is about sexx and shld know that sexx is everywhere,so why be jealous?

Leggs

September 9th, 2009
1:13 pm

Are you asking me something, Page, if so, spit it out cuz don’t know what you’re saying?

Jamdun Queen

September 9th, 2009
1:14 pm

This is his third marriage ( my first) so I kinda was letting his previous signs of jealousy slide – truthfully, I thought it was love until he started to say he did not like to associate with folks and then if the boys(my brothers) came over he would go upstairs.

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:15 pm

leggs, no bc someone said earlier that women can go 3 years without having sex, so i said….nevermind!

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
1:16 pm

cobweb duster,
“a playa is about sexx and shld know that sexx is everywhere,so why be jealous?”

Cuz I ain’t a playa. I tried to b one mostly out tryna deal with my old mans death … by the time i got over that though i found it hard to let go of my new found love of clubs, liquor n sex … it’s short term happiness at the expense of long term …

guess i just wanna have my cake and eat it too … aint like i’m telling these HOs i’m cheating so why should they cheat on me … ain’t like i dont show em a good time when we together so why shouldn’t they want just me

aggwitt

September 9th, 2009
1:17 pm

Professor I understand why you wrote it, I understood what you wrote my response was a JOKE. Dan got it, so did others I am sure. Stop being so obtuse.

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
1:17 pm

though I’m a huge lakers fan.

:D

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:18 pm

BlueK I have actually noticed more fights and less patience up in here the past year more than from a couple of years ago.

We used to could debate the issues more back then without the quick “dander” raising. It seems like more now bait to get crap started and some immediately take offense to the simpliest comments.

Maybe it’s just my lingering baby hormones that has me thinking this way. LOL

Melo

September 9th, 2009
1:18 pm

then if the boys(my brothers) came over he would go upstairs.

Jamdun Queen,yeah,thats not a good look. I wld neva advise smeone to quit their marriage but u are in a bad spot,considering hes into his third marriage.
Its called ” a man and his ways”

Leggs

September 9th, 2009
1:19 pm

I know what you said, just asked you to define what has cobwebs that needed dusting. Don’t people dust at least weekly? Your sentence stood alone, there was no sexual reference there.

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:20 pm

lmao Raqi stop saying “dander” raising, please!

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 9th, 2009
1:21 pm

People get jealous… Its a fact of life. if youve loved someone youve been jealous of something because you truly cared. Im not big on jealousy but I am big on respect.. I read someone saying dudes complementing her while they were out.. I wouldnt deal with that either cause dudes and suspect chicks can be very disrespectful.. Dude I dont mind you looking but not to much and talking to is a no no.. Why because we’re on our time and all that nonsense youre on will get your face slapped. Dont even come to me with that “Man your girl is looking good tonight” bull because I already know that. And if youre my girl and you cant see where when we’re in a relationship a certain level of respect has to be maintained then your not for me. Honestly if we together I expect all that extra to be shut down and you shouldnt be flirting with anyone.. Being cordial and nice is one thing but flirting.. Nah youre not the girl for me.

My Sexy is my Cool.

September 9th, 2009
1:21 pm

Jamdun – your dude sounds rather controlling.

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:22 pm

Don’t people dust at least weekly?

Leggs well as for me and mine we dust as needed. More like 3 times a week. LOL

Let me stop.

My Sexy is my Cool.

September 9th, 2009
1:23 pm

Page – we are >>>here<<< – cause I’m like, “Wow, Really?” ~lmao~

W8©

September 9th, 2009
1:23 pm

@Jamdun- yeah that is kinda odd…even more odd that someone can come into a mans house and he is the one to go upstairs…

Dan

September 9th, 2009
1:23 pm

@Jamdun

I, personally, have a problem with any man that can’t be around other men or look them in their eyes.

Have you checked your husband for the switch? I mean, he might be kinda

My Sexy is my Cool.

September 9th, 2009
1:24 pm

Who in dahell says that women can go years without sex? LMAO!!!

Now THAT is funny to ME!!!!

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
1:24 pm

lmao SexyCool.

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
1:24 pm

The Infamous DK,
Being cordial and nice is one thing but flirting.. Nah youre not the girl for me.

why can’t she flirt … why can’t u rest easy knowing u’re the better choice and if she happens to run into a better fit then bid her good bye … why must u insist that she not shop around unless u’re convinced she’d be quick to find a better deal

Melo

September 9th, 2009
1:25 pm

new found love of clubs, liquor n sex ……ain’t like i dont show em a good time when we together so why shouldn’t they want just me

most playas like most of those things u mentioned esp sexx so i dont understand why u think u differnt.

they dont want just u coz u not good at keeping them…u good at attracting them with good times in clubs and all…..
cld be ur ways,ur wang gets tired,the liqor gets stale and the clubs get boring…time for another fixx and out they go! :lol: :lol:

Professor fill in the blank___

September 9th, 2009
1:25 pm

@aggwitt…maybe you should find someone else to play with I am professor not Mattel. Plus I don’t play with strangers…

@Raqi (if applicable) I do not mind a debate, but I do mind the different standards that are set and broken on this blog. I might be a little irritated post surgery but the “dander” raising and being petty…nada.

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
1:25 pm

Taliq are you serious?

My Sexy is my Cool.

September 9th, 2009
1:26 pm

Page – DANDER!!!