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Jealous Much?

Yesterday we talked about how to draw the line on flirting and being too tempted. Today, I wanted to touch on how to handle being with someone who is extremely insecure. I’ve had a jealous boyfriend before and it’s not always an easy feat to reassure someone that you are just friendly and flirty by nature. What do you think about asking a person to change that part of their personality so that you can feel more secure about the relationship?

There is only so much jealousy a person can handle. Have you dated someone who was jealous? What were the signs that they were that way? Is there a way to spot this red flag before you are in a relationship with someone?

Have you ever struggled with jealous and insecurity personally? How did it impact your dating or your relationships? What can one do to let the jealousy and insecurity go?

746 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
12:32 pm

While a dude ain’t got a problem with being single and mateless, he does have a problem with being sexless.

B_K – Okay. I just assumed you’d be getting the booty from the new applicants.

Lioness- Trust is KEY!!

September 9th, 2009
12:33 pm

Kolla- Where a woman can go without a man or sex for 1, 2, even 3 years<– Who the heck said THIS???

Melo

September 9th, 2009
12:33 pm

hoes are immune to love

W8, a hoe getting jealous??? get outa here!

My Sexy is my Cool.

September 9th, 2009
12:33 pm

Dan – TRAIN another chick? Seriously?

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
12:34 pm

some women haven’t had their cobwebs dusted in years.

Lioness- Trust is KEY!!

September 9th, 2009
12:34 pm

Melo- Kiss my TAIL :evil: My male friends don’t touch me PERIOD!!

Dan

September 9th, 2009
12:34 pm

@BK

Co-sign that (12:30)

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
12:35 pm

Blue_Kolla,
Where a woman can go without a man or sex for 1, 2, even 3 years… a dude just ain’t tryin’ to roll like that.

And therein lies my problem. My brain keeps screaming dude u need to take a break from sex/dating and either go after the one that got away or let go and look for a serious type relationship cuz despite ya best efforts u obviously want wifey material. My black member keeps telling me dude stop being emotional yo, u single making a good living and get good sex whenever you want. Love can wait, keep messing with these HOs yo.

Lioness- Trust is KEY!!

September 9th, 2009
12:36 pm

Taliq- Stop putting your heart between your legs!

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
12:38 pm

Love can wait, keep messing with these HOs yo.

WOW!!!

Taliq love won’t wait forever.

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
12:38 pm

lol at everyone!

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
12:38 pm

Dan,

“If she was that good, set up the “benefit” portion of FWB and see if she’ll roll with it.”

Yup we tried that … except I had already caught emotions for her … so i kept steady snooping … and in the end i gave up the good nookie for my sanity … it didn’t matter if i cheated 2ce a week and she did it 1ce a month … that 1 time i’d take it worse than she did

it’s like i wanna bone every girl in d world and i want to be the best they ever had … my ego is out of control

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
12:38 pm

BK and Dan are you married or in a relationship?

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
12:39 pm

Ok, ARed, then let me know when you are back next month in October.

Aw…you’re a sweetie Page!

I was just talking about dinner at that Mexican spot on Old National, tho. I gotta find a way to eat during the week too! :lol:

Melo

September 9th, 2009
12:39 pm

Any u know of, on the blog Page??

bye for now,

Cobweb duster.

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
12:39 pm

lol @ boning. one dude i know likes to phone bone. No, No!

Lioness- Trust is KEY!!

September 9th, 2009
12:40 pm

Taliq- Since you are coming clean.. All that you originally posted happed to you Huh??

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
12:40 pm

Animals I tell you. Just animals.

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
12:40 pm

some women haven’t had their cobwebs dusted in years.

:lol:

Dan

September 9th, 2009
12:40 pm

@SC

Yes. Train another chick.

If I like X,Y, and Z (or have gotten that from another lady); it’s incumbent on me to train the next young lady of my sexual likes and dislikes.

Likewise, I expect the same from a woman. I’m not above being trained.

Isn’t this the forum that proudly proclaims “all women aren’t the same?, what you do for one doesn’t work of the other?, etc”. That same logic is applied to my happiness, sexual and otherwise.

Ex: that last dude might’ve been a fan of GS, try that with me and we going to the hospital for what will be a “misunderstanding”.

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
12:40 pm

melo, yes, there are some on the blog, but i don’t think they would be interested in you.

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
12:41 pm

Taliq how old are you?

W8©

September 9th, 2009
12:41 pm

@Melo- If one hoe is serving the other hoe…very well..some feelings are going to come up once one hoe sees the other hoe…spending time with a non-hoe…cuz the hoe knows that they could never be a hoe to the other…hoe

@blue- that is right a man can go without a relationship..but he aint trying to go to long without sex

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
12:41 pm

Ohhh I keep forgetting about the Mexican spot on Old Nat ARed! ok, let me tie a string around my finger as a reminder! lol

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
12:42 pm

Raqi … I’m 30 and i rarely date anyone over 25 otherwise i end up breaking it off cuz it got serious real quick …

Blue_Kolla

September 9th, 2009
12:43 pm

Ared Okay. I just assumed you’d be getting the booty from the new applicants.

I don’t want to rush the new-Main, so I’m gon’ need anywhere from 90 hours to 90 days from the ex-Main. LOL

Lioness Kolla- Where a woman can go without a man or sex for 1, 2, even 3 years<– Who the heck said THIS???

Some of these blog chicks right here, said THAT. I figured they were lying too, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt. :?

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
12:43 pm

Lioness, it sounds like i have heard ole dude’s story somewhere before…maybe in a book or something.

W8©

September 9th, 2009
12:44 pm

I think the longest self imposed sex ban for me was almost two years….i just didnt feel like being bothered

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
12:44 pm

Lioness,
“Taliq- Since you are coming clean.. All that you originally posted happed to you Huh??”

Not sure what exactly you’re referring to but if you mean cheated on bday eve, yup that happened to me.

Dan

September 9th, 2009
12:45 pm

@Taliq

Mayne. I feel you on wanting “the One”, but you have to make those decisions according to the female. If she ain’t “One” material, can’t make her be.

@Raqi

Yepper. But somma of us freely admit it. Others hide theirs

@Page

No comment

Professor fill in the blank___

September 9th, 2009
12:45 pm

I forgot to mention this, but I think I shared this one before. As a thirty something woman it amazed the hell out of me when this woman “pretended” that she wanted to hang out with me. Well long story short she spent the entire evening telling me about her “man” (we both knew him), and questioning my relationship as well as others with him. She should have asked him all those questions instead of wasting my time. I could not believe that a grown woman could be so stupid and jealous. It almost got her head cracked because we don’t do that we I come from…I wrote it off as a NY thingy.

Lioness I have been out for a while so I am just reading you today. I am happy to see that you slithered out of the den.

Melo

September 9th, 2009
12:46 pm

cmeon Page1908,dont say that…

why cut block……hook a brother up,unless if u have personal feelings invested.

W8©

September 9th, 2009
12:46 pm

@Taliq- you are 30 and you like dating under 25? Them hoes don’t even know they hoes yet…you cant complain about what happens with them..lol

Jamdun Queen

September 9th, 2009
12:47 pm

Need some advice – what if you are married 1 yr and your SO does not want to attend family gatherings but gets jealous if/when you hang out/lean on/ hug your biological brothers

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
12:47 pm

No comment? ummmmmmmm mkay

Lioness- Trust is KEY!!

September 9th, 2009
12:47 pm

Taliq- it’s like i wanna bone every girl in d world and i want to be the best they ever had … my ego is out of control <– I damn near CHOKED reading THIS nonsense :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: TRUST you WON’T be the best that chick has had UNLESS she is a virgin.. Your ego is gonna get your feelings hurt!

Kolla- :lol: :lol:

Page- ;)

aggwitt

September 9th, 2009
12:48 pm

Am I the only one who thought that prfoessor’s 12:45 post was going in an ENTIRELY different direction?

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
12:48 pm

Dan,

[If I like X,Y, and Z (or have gotten that from another lady); it’s incumbent on me to train the next young lady of my sexual likes and dislikes.]

lol so very true

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
12:49 pm

I don’t want to rush the new-Main, so I’m gon’ need anywhere from 90 hours to 90 days from the ex-Main. LOL

B_K – That’s fair. There is one dude on here talking that he moves on if he doesn’t get the azz in 3 days. :arrow:

And yes, I’m a girl than can go a year or two without having sex. The key is, it’s always available for me when I want it. :lol: So if I go that long, it’s clearly by choice.

Dan

September 9th, 2009
12:52 pm

@Agg

You’re weren’t (I was disappointed too)

@Taliq

W8 is right. at 25 she may just have those ho3ish tendencies and wanna work them out, she may be a ho3 in general. But at 25 they bout don’t know

W8©

September 9th, 2009
12:52 pm

@Jamdun- what problem does he have with you lovin on your brothers…thats different..I never heard of that before

Melo

September 9th, 2009
12:53 pm

what if you are married 1 yr and your SO does not want to attend family gatherings but gets jealous if/when you hang out/lean on/ hug your biological brothers

what are ur ages Jamdun Queen ??

Jamdun Queen

September 9th, 2009
12:54 pm

He is 37 and I am 28

aggwitt

September 9th, 2009
12:54 pm

Jamdun, you from West Virginia? If so then your SO probably has reason to be jealous. If not, then what the hell is wrong with your SO

Professor fill in the blank___

September 9th, 2009
12:55 pm

@aggwitt ….stepping back in for a quick moment.

Hmmm I would have thought you were talking about me until I noticed the typo “prfoessor’s”
BTW the conversations on this blog twist, turn, and reverse so anything I write can take on whatever definition or meaning. Would you kindly introduce yourself because I am wondering why you give a F— about what I write?

Blue_Kolla

September 9th, 2009
12:55 pm

Jam what if you are married 1 yr and your SO does not want to attend family gatherings but gets jealous if/when you hang out/lean on/ hug your biological brothers

Your husband has fugged his sister or his cousin. Why else would a dude get his mind blowed out, by his wife hugging her brother, unless he already had some twisted sh!t up in his head?

This is a good time for you to start up your detective agency and dig up some peeps from his childhood so that you can get the facts.

Lioness- Trust is KEY!!

September 9th, 2009
12:55 pm

Lioness I have been out for a while so I am just reading you today. I am happy to see that you slithered out of the den <– Here I am ;)

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
12:57 pm

Jamdun, you from West Virginia?

:lol:

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
12:58 pm

Lioness,

“TRUST you WON’T be the best that chick has had UNLESS she is a virgin.. Your ego is gonna get your feelings hurt!”

Yeah I’ve come to accept that getting my feelings hurt is an occupational hazard. If and when I’m ready for a serious relationship again then I should be able to live with the idea that “i might not be the best sex she ever had, and vice versa but we the best fit for each other when u look at all our traits/values” …

Really I just posted cuz I wanted to point out some of us are aware we’re the jealous type, we are aware we’re in unhappy relationships, but still choose to stick it out cuz we getting other things such as sex that cloud our judgement. Personally I believe everyone should be free to bone whomever they want, i believe for some folks monogamy ain’t natural, and i wish i could just see sex as jus being physical and not get too emotional about it. E.g. if someday i got married and the chick’s been perfect for say 10 years, i’d hate to break it up cuz she cheated once and have our kids deal with a broken home. i’d love to think i could be mature about it and go sh*t happens, lets try and make this work. Now if it happens say 5 times in a year then maybe it’s time to call it quits. But 1ce a year? if she does everything else right why not just stick with it. idk.

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
12:58 pm

you from West Virginia

I was thinking Tennessee maybe.