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Jealous Much?

Yesterday we talked about how to draw the line on flirting and being too tempted. Today, I wanted to touch on how to handle being with someone who is extremely insecure. I’ve had a jealous boyfriend before and it’s not always an easy feat to reassure someone that you are just friendly and flirty by nature. What do you think about asking a person to change that part of their personality so that you can feel more secure about the relationship?

There is only so much jealousy a person can handle. Have you dated someone who was jealous? What were the signs that they were that way? Is there a way to spot this red flag before you are in a relationship with someone?

Have you ever struggled with jealous and insecurity personally? How did it impact your dating or your relationships? What can one do to let the jealousy and insecurity go?

746 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
12:05 pm

Ared- Are you like that ONLY like that with the people you date or with any dude?

Lioness – Not with trolls, and not solely with the folks I date. I guess within “flirt mode.”

W8©

September 9th, 2009
12:06 pm

Long story short…after my post yesterday and reading the responses and today’s post. I see I am not the only one who thinks the way that I do. It’s not a jealousy thing but it’s a respect thing..I am who I am and I am not trying to change a grown person. A woman can do what she wants…it’s my choice if I decide to hang around and deal with or find someone who has the same value of respect that I do for them.

Lioness-

September 9th, 2009
12:06 pm

Ared- :lol: :lol: @ trolls!
Were you that way with your girlfriend’s BF that hit on you?

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
12:08 pm

One last question Dan. If you found out one of your boys was trying to get with your woman, will you only feel like he is disrespecting your relationship if she refuses him?

Or do you dismiss his disrespectfullness to you if she in facts accepts his advance.

Yes she is wrong also but that’s not what I’ve been asking you all morning. Can you not gage disrespect from others outside of the reaction from your girl?

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
12:08 pm

Were you that way with your girlfriend’s BF that hit on you?Were you that way with your girlfriend’s BF that hit on you?

No. Like I said married/unavailable men are repellants to me. The women who openly flirt with unavailable dudes look silly azz hell. And you know I’ve got an ego. :lol:

Dan

September 9th, 2009
12:08 pm

@W8

Not just has [value of respect], but demostrates it.

Melo

September 9th, 2009
12:09 pm

as wow the eve of my bday night when she came back in the morning and said she just slipped out to the pharmacy she’d actually left hours earlier whilst I was asleep and chose to go get it on at some dude’s hotel room

i almost thoght u are a woman!

:lol: :lol: on ur birthday?????? yeah,it maybe that u choose those types like u said.

or,u aint putting it down like that…..how did u perform,BIRTHDAY NITE????
or u date nephos,too much sexual apetite 4 u…….poor guy

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
12:09 pm

Dan,

“..gotta be willing to walk away from [it], when the heat is on”

I concur but sometimes it ain’t easy to accept that the other person doesn’t value u as much as u do them … it took several attempts for me to walk away from my ex, and every now and then i find my mind wondering whilst having sex with another chic whether someone is making my ex moan too

Blue_Kolla

September 9th, 2009
12:10 pm

Taliq I tried that … only no matter how many new applicants you entertain, if you’re the jealous type you’ll still wonder where you rank on her list … also what happens when she asks for a favor, like pick up my laundry, won’t we do dinner tonight … a part of you wants to scream, why not go ask some other dude on your list to go do that for you

Ha?! First off, you shouldn’t be jealous anyway. Either the broad wants you or not, and if not the why do you really give a dizzam. You don’t put all your energy into some broad, pickin’ up laundry, worrying about dinner, blah blah… when you ain’t the solo star in her movie.

And what’s this idea of “where you rank on her list?” Dude you’re already dead-n-stankin’ 2 seconds after you succumb to that line of reasoning. You might as well throw dirt on yourself.

aggwitt

September 9th, 2009
12:10 pm

I dont get why women dont want they dude to touch on them. its not making you look like a hoe, its making you look LOVED! Accept that public rub down ladies

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
12:12 pm

LOL ARed that was me with that tagline “who gon check me, boo?”. lmao. after i watch the show tomorrow night i may have yet another witty tagline but the “who gon check me, boo?” is a classic. a few of my friends are thinking of being the atl housewives for halloween! lol

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
12:13 pm

I’m gon’ keep gettin’ the booty and other favors, while not telling her that the position of “Main” is now open to new applicants.

B_K – Thank you for your honesty. However, wouldn’t it be more productive to just break up with her? Sounds like your method is only going to lead to more drama down the line.

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
12:13 pm

I dont get why women dont want they dude to touch on them.

LOL aggwit you know we are not talking about that.

Dan

September 9th, 2009
12:13 pm

@Taliq

“Who’s making love to yo [ex] old lady” shouldn’t really concern you bruh.

Truthfully, she prolly knows you still got feelings and may drain you dry of them (and money/time/etc.) just because.

Gotta let go her homie. Got to

W8©

September 9th, 2009
12:13 pm

@Dan- True it has to be demonstrated also

Lioness-

September 9th, 2009
12:14 pm

Ared- Cool Beans :)

TAliq- I concur but sometimes it ain’t easy to accept that the other person doesn’t value u as much as u do them … it took several attempts for me to walk away from my ex, and every now and then i find my mind wondering whilst having sex with another chic whether someone is making my ex moan too<– Glad you are being honest BUT that sounds a bit Coo Coo!!
Did you cheat on her or do her worng to make you feel the way you do?

Kolla- LMAO!!!

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
12:15 pm

Page – Being the housewives for halloween would be funny. :lol:

I’m back in town for a week or so, we need to go get that Mexican food (unless you went without me! :evil: )

Melo

September 9th, 2009
12:15 pm

LOL aggwit you know we are not talking about that

Raqi,thats what Lioness said.

Leggs

September 9th, 2009
12:16 pm

Which one of you male friends will be Ne Ne?

Lioness-

September 9th, 2009
12:16 pm

Aag- its not making you look like a hoe, its making you look LOVED<– Really?? Fine line maybe but I rather BE loved than look loved ;)

W8©

September 9th, 2009
12:17 pm

If a woman puts you in a position to be jealous to the point of anger and acting out…she was never really “your” woman in the first place….she just exposed herself…

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
12:17 pm

No Melo Lioness I think said while doing to do but aggwit ended his statement with “Accept that public rub down ladies”.

Two totally different things going on there.

Melo

September 9th, 2009
12:17 pm

I dont get why women dont want they dude to touch on them

aggwitt,if a chic does or expresses that to u while u out and about,she is dble or triple dating,she not urs….. shes a playa

Lioness-

September 9th, 2009
12:18 pm

Correction: FEEL loved than look loved

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
12:18 pm

I am sorry Melo I misread. They are talking about the same thing.

Lioness- Trust is KEY!!

September 9th, 2009
12:19 pm

Melo- You go left field with stuff sometimes.. My man will KNOW that is NOT the case..

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
12:20 pm

Melo,
“how did u perform,BIRTHDAY NITE????”
Terribly … I knew what went down on the eve of my bday … had sex numerous times with her on my bday despite her complaints of being tired … told her i knew about her indescretions the next day and broke it off … a week later i went crawling back to her cuz i couldnt stop thinking bout her and she accepted me with open arms

“or u date nephos,too much sexual apetite 4 u…….poor guy”

lol, she wasn’t a nepho and if I’m being honest I think I cheated way more than she did. Though I started amping up my numbers after i suspected she was dipping too. I went into I’m dipping every chance I get mode once i found out about the bday incident. I stuck it out for a while mostly cuz the sex was great and i figured the next chic was just as likely to cheat. In the end I broke it off cuz I realised we were just hurting each other.

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
12:20 pm

Accept that public rub down ladies

aggwit – Sometimes it becomes old and loses meaning. When I’m out solo or with my girls, a lot of guys try to cop a feel. Not like I mind if my man does it, but it has definitely lost meaning. Besides, I think that public groping looks kind of tacky.

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
12:21 pm

Leggs, i’ll have to find a dude to be NeNe. I think i’m gonna be DeShawn, even though she is not on the show anymore lol. I’m too short to be Lisa and i don’t wanna be sheree or kandi lol.

ARed- i may hook up a little something next weekend. when do u leave again?

Melo

September 9th, 2009
12:21 pm

Lioness,where is it aceptable to u, for ur man to touch u in public???

i appreciate ur answer .

W8©

September 9th, 2009
12:22 pm

halloween…I will be at “The World’s largest Cocktail Party”..that’s right the UGA vs UF game…and getting niccce at the Jacksonville Landing afterwards……”I don’t wear tight jeans like the white boys…but I get wasted like the white boys……”

Blue_Kolla

September 9th, 2009
12:22 pm

Taliq and every now and then i find my mind wondering whilst having sex with another chic whether someone is making my ex moan too

You’ve got it bad dude. This must be the only woman that you’ve made mad passionate love to… read, fugged good.

1. Why are you worrying about some other dude knockin’ your ex’s back out, when you should be concentrating on giving your present the Multi-O vitamin?

2. Let’s be conservative and say that you’ve got 5 ex’s that since you each have slept with 2 dudes. That’s potentially 10 headaches that you now have to worry about, each of which you have zero control over.

Conclusion: Your ex has the best P that you’ve ever had, and you don’t think that you’ll ever get any more Grade A CatBox, so you trip out on the daily, calling her by the minute asking if you can be Steak Dinner Daddy tonight, in hopes of standing in line before Blue, DuWayne, Paul, and any other random dude on her “He Can Git It” List.

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
12:23 pm

Dan,

“Gotta let go her homie. Got to”

I did … it was hard and truth be told if she made a serious effort to get back together i’d probably yield … but just like i walked away cuz i realized i couldn’t be with a HO even if i am one … she said she couldnt stand being with a hypocritical control freak …

W8©

September 9th, 2009
12:23 pm

Great sex will sometimes keep you in a bad relationship…..it clouds your vision at times

Dan

September 9th, 2009
12:24 pm

@Lioness

That’s about the only “territory” marking that I’m likely to do (the public booty rub).

But then, it’s not my fault. Y’all like to wear them jeans sometimes that {Homer Simpson drool}

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
12:24 pm

ARed- i may hook up a little something next weekend. when do u leave again?

Page – Shucks. This weekend is the only weekend that I’m in town in September.

W8©

September 9th, 2009
12:25 pm

halloween…I will be at “The World’s largest C*cktail Party”..that’s right the UGA vs UF game…and getting niccce at the Jacksonville Landing afterwards……”I don’t wear tight jeans like the white boys…but I get waisted like the white boys……”

AmazonRed™ - tanned to a nice toasted almond brown

September 9th, 2009
12:26 pm

i realized i couldn’t be with a HO even if i am one … she said she couldnt stand being with a hypocritical control freak …

:lol:

Lioness- Trust is KEY!!

September 9th, 2009
12:26 pm

Melo- If he wants to have his hands on me, my waist is fine or hold my hand.. Never been into hands on my tail in public.. I feel the same about tongue kissing in public too

Melo

September 9th, 2009
12:27 pm

Taliq,thanx but ummmmm,

ur situation dont really apply to what we discussing coz for u 2,its just a case of 2 hoes phlucking each other!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

W8©

September 9th, 2009
12:28 pm

Lioness arent you short?..it will be kinda hard for a guy to put his hands on your waist…he should just rest his elbow on your shoulder or something..lol..thats what i do when I am around short women

aggwitt

September 9th, 2009
12:29 pm

Lioness, feel loved. Thats what we trying to do. make you FEEL loved. a lil booty rub here a thigh touch there. Not no obvoius insane high school groping, just a lil touch to let you know “hey baby, I got you, and later tonight, Ima get you” hahaha

W8©

September 9th, 2009
12:29 pm

@Melo- you gotta let a hoe be a hoe…but who says hoes are immune to love…hoes gotta eat too

Blue_Kolla

September 9th, 2009
12:30 pm

Ared Thank you for your honesty. However, wouldn’t it be more productive to just break up with her? Sounds like your method is only going to lead to more drama down the line.

Here’s some more honesty for you – While a dude ain’t got a problem with being single and mateless, he does have a problem with being sexless. Where a woman can go without a man or sex for 1, 2, even 3 years… a dude just ain’t tryin’ to roll like that.

Don’t hold it against us, we just ain’t built like yoll…

Raqi...Not if he's my man...

September 9th, 2009
12:30 pm

I have asked one guys here what was the most extreme instance of jealousy that he has ever experienced and he said when his live-in girlfriend found out he had purchased a gift for a female friend birthday. He said she felt like it should have been a joint decision because she was an associate friend of the woman by way of him. I asked him how do they normally go about buying and giving gifts and he said they decide and she actually does the buying.

hmmm Tricky one.

Now I waiting to ask the next female that walks into my office what is her most memorable instance.

Lioness- Trust is KEY!!

September 9th, 2009
12:30 pm

Kolla- Grade A CatBox<– :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Good sex will MAKE a person think you are cheating too.. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Taliq

September 9th, 2009
12:30 pm

Blue_Kolla,
[Conclusion: Your ex has the best P that you’ve ever had, and you don’t think that you’ll ever get any more Grade A CatBox, so you trip out on the daily, calling her by the minute asking if you can be Steak Dinner Daddy tonight, in hopes of standing in line before Blue, DuWayne, Paul, and any other random dude on her “He Can Git It” List.]

Nah I got issues but not that one. I ended a serious “she’s the one imma marry” type relationship after my pops died (hey someone had to pay the price). Afterwards I decided not to get into any serious relationships, hence i tend to go for the pretty girls that’ll kick it just for the fun of it and ain’t looking 4 a prize to take home to mama/poppa. Mistake I made with bday ex is the sex was so good/convenient and she was mostly nice person (except when trust issues got in the way) that i ended up sticking around for almost a year and caught feelings. Or put another way, i tried turning a HO into a house wife.

Dan

September 9th, 2009
12:31 pm

@Taliq

If she was that good, set up the “benefit” portion of FWB and see if she’ll roll with it.

If not, train another chick

Page1908

September 9th, 2009
12:31 pm

Ok, ARed, then let me know when you are back next month in October.

W8- LOL i thought you were gonna do Licorice Stick for halloween?

Lioness! LOL @ using the word “tail” instead of butt! lmao

Melo

September 9th, 2009
12:32 pm

Never been into hands on my tail in public

waist or hand is really safe,ur male friend is proly allowed to touch u there too….(playas kill me,”oh,hes just my friend and he was ushering me in, thats why he held my waist like that”)…in case another suitor sees u 2! LMAOF

poor catholic girl :lol: :lol: :lol: u need some real luving girl!