Temptation is very much preeminent when you find yourself in a good relationship. And we find that it’s not that we aren’t being satisfied emotionally and physically in our relationship but it’s just that we are human. The choice to be together, stay together and remain loyal and faithful is just that, a choice.

Being married or attached means nothing to some people. However those men that would blatantly step to me knowing I am married and unavailable are not so much of a temptation. Temptation for me tried to rear its ugly head in a situation where a guy was merely a co-worker that I talked to everyday. It’s those situations that you have to stay mindful of. Don’t get too close or friendly.

However it truly does amaze me at how folks will throw themselves at you knowing you are in a relationship. Some people just don’t care. I am not about to fight off a woman that my husband himself is not fighting off. She can have him. But if a trick is trying to throw her stuff all up on his richard and he is rejecting her advances, I will cut that heifer.

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Good Morning All,
I am only tempted when I am not being tended to..

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And I rattled whose chains last week. LOL

So predictable. Children.

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Good morning! Truer words have never been spoken (10:06).

What happens when you are approached by someone when you already exclusively dating someone else? If you’re truly approachable and carry on a conversation exclusively around the two of you and the possibilities, then you’re not “exclusively” dating. If that was in deed th truth, you wouldn’t be having that conversation, not even teasingly. If you’re truly committed to the person you’re with, then only that person will get your attention.

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Heck I just give in.. Ize aint gots nobody..

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Even though he may look appealing, tickle my ear with words and it can be tempting esp when things are on the frits, or even if it’s just the extra attention is tempting enough to start my mind to wonder, but I have to keep it in prespective and see it for what it is, if he’s aware that I’m not available and still insists on pursuing it shows a lack of integrity and respect on his part.

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Being tempted & giving into temptatin are two totally different things… I was tempted in my last relatinship & ALMOST gave into temptation, had second thoughts & went home. Even though my relationship wasn’t the best, I would have lost all of the respect I had for myself had I given in.

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Lead me not into temptation.

It’s not just in Atlanta that there is temptation. There are beautiful, interesting people everywhere.

About temptation this I know, when I am in a relationship, the better things are going, the less I can be tempted.

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Thats what temptation is.. Temptation is when you have that relationship smell on you and everyone finds you attractive, because youre content and happy. Temptation can also tell when your vulnerable and seeks you out that way. Its only a hinderance because froma dudes prospective.. (Disclaimer – I dont mess with married women or dudes girlfriends). If you cheat with me while youre married. I cant respect you. If you cheat with me while you have a boyfriend.. I cant respect you..

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I will also add that when I am in a committed relationship, I do not allow myself to be tempted past fairly harmless flirtations.

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If I approach you and I know,,,, Sorry, If someone approaches you and they know that your taken.. Trust me they ain’t trying to get to know everything about you,, just enough to get what they want. Thats what the “Good listener” you have at home is for.. What is a “situationship” Wise D??… How many times have I asked a woman that is in a current relationship, whats her status single or taken.. The response is usally “well ummm its complicated” meaning stick around, I may have an opening soon.. To me thats just inviting trouble.. Oh good morning,,

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Temptation don’t always come aknocking at those that are already attached. Plenty of dudes go aseeking that are married. Relentless at that.

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DK-It means he’s in the relationship but youre not<– Not necessarily.. Could be the other way around..

Married men or women on the prowl disgust me!!

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Um. Yeah. I don’t do “complicated.”

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PSA – The Safe Auto Ad is a lie. If you drive something other than a Kia or Tercel they are outrageously high. I called around to get a quote to change my car insurance cause Allstate has been the worst since I moved.. And Safe Auto told me my Ins would be 524 a month. I promptly hung up and changed everything to State Farm..

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Dream- Never understood ppl who make those EXCUSES & actually think that is a valid reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship..

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DK- I LOVE Geico

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I wonder if the women who say things like that think they will attract a quality man by making such statements????

I agree …

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@EPO

That (11:09) is a frightening statement on many levels.

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EPO- I am single until I am married<– That is the BS that men AND women are kicking now-a-days.. Sounds lame as heck to ME!

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I have actually heard that 11:09 post from a man. He actually thought I was supposed to be ok with it. LOL

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Welcome back Mr. Swiss! Glad you had a fabulous wedding and honeymoon. You got your head on right.

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It’s easy for people to say what they will or will not stand for when they are not in the situation… Your trails may not be someone else’s trail… you may be an alcoholic, while someone else may have another hurdle they need to cross. While you may not understand or would “never” put yourself in that situation you may be dealing with somethimg else that someone else would say is not hard too get out of or deal with. I try to understand and look at everyone’s situation….

I never really understood why my mom stayed in an abusive relationship for so many years…. She didnt know how to get out at that time. She had 3 young children in a different state without any family… Am I saying it was a great decision to stay… I don’t know. She’s still with him.. (no longer abusive) and my sis and my bro and myself turned out pretty well.

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The even more frightening part about my 11:09 statement is that it was justified by saying that they heard it from a T.D. Jakes Sermon. I did not hear this sermon, but I am 99.5% sure that’s not the context in which the statement was made.

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EPO- You should have asked her to explain what she meant by that cause it doesn’t make any sense TO ME..

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Sweet temptations? We are are probably tempted daily. However, our morals, self-respect and respect for whomever we may be involved with dictate whether we act upon the desire or immediately douse the flame. It’s that simple!

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Leggs- I AGREE

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EPO, soo thats considered an open relationship… Im hearing this being thrown around alot too “open relationship”.. Like thats one step away from being swingers..

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Aren’t you “tied down” once you accept the engagement ring. Tied down may not be good words to use, but aren’t you off the market. Only thing that’s left is the actual ceremony, but you are completely off the market at that moment. Aren’t you???

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Well technically you are single until married. Not saying that you should adopt the mindset of someone who is without a partner or not in a committed relationship. But the slots in life are usually married or single. There’s no box to check for happily committed or engaged.

However in regards to temptation, people will make excuses to do whatever it is that they want to do. We are not above being tempted, but what matters is how you handle the situation. I personally believe that if you cannot overcome your temptation then you need to remove yourself from the relationship. Giving in to that sort of temptation repeatedly is careless and greedy. I’d always say give the other person an option, and if they wanna stick around with your tempted self then so be it.

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It would be an open relationship if both parties agreed.
But yes I do know that at least 1 of these engaged women was still”seeing” other people because I know one dude they were “seeing.”

I have another friend who has been in a relationship with a guy for about 3 years, but on her facebook page she is always posting stuff about hoping to meet “The one” or “A man who will make her forget the rest.” I seriously doubt that her man of 3 years know about this. And if they were not still dating or wishing to date others why would they say/write things like this???

FYI: I am not saying that only women do this, but just that my experience has only been with women… I know men do things too.

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Compelling- But the slots in life are usually married or single. There’s no box to check for happily committed or engaged.<– Sounds like an application to me

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Technically if you aren’t hitched, you are single until married. However if you can’t set boundaries, rules and guidelines, be it man or woman, you are setting the premise (I believe) of how the marriage (if you take that step) will unfold. Cheating, wondering eyes, wishful lusts. If you’re a person of morals and character and live by the code of do unto others, while you have every right to date whomever, you’ll be considerate and not overlap and juggle. The purpose of being single until married though, is to find your right fit. No matter if you’re engaged or exclusive. WHAT IF, the person you’re with is not right for you? And really WHAT IF someone better does come along? Just because you’re engaged or ALMOST hitched never forfeits better players. It’s not a crime nor a sin nor does it makes you less honorable to sever current for better. It’s about how you achieve it. Be woman or man enough to take the full leap of faith, for better, if I may and completely remove yourself from one before taking on another….as, you are single until married. Now if the green didn’t turn out greener, you chanced and missed. It’s life, chaulk it up to experience and keep it moving. All is fair in love and war….

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@ Ms. Main/Compelling:

Love your posts

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@Compelling ~ love to read ya, but this line of thinking is ridiculous at best “Well technically you are single until married” I understand the “technical” side of it. However, if one thinks and feels like this until the ceremony, then you’re not 100% in it. If one should think like that and feel “well, I’m not married yet and not “technically” obligated. I can still sow some oats whether it be through flirting, lunch dates, email conversations, serious flirting, etc., then you’re a long way off from being ready to marry. Replace what’s deemed a “technicality” with what should be “morally right” and then you’ll be fine. Just my take on what’s a “technicality.” What a bunch of rubbish. Not toward you Compelling, just those that truly think like that!

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“Sweet temptations? We are are probably tempted daily. However, our morals, self-respect and respect for whomever we may be involved with dictate whether we act upon the desire or immediately douse the flame. It’s that simple!”

@Leggs- That was a perfect statement. If I am in a committed relationship…I shut whatever temptations down right from the beginning. There isn’t “well i told her i have a woman but yet i still entertained her convo” You hit the nail on the head on the temptation thing…respect for who you are with and yourself…I also think people can put themselves in a position to be tempted…you can still be cordial to folks but yet give off an “air” of “im not open to seeing anyone else I have someone” and whoever posted about someone still trying to get at you after yo have told them you have a man/woman..they are disrespecting you both and you are disrespecting whomever you are in a relationship with…no excuses

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Dream_n and a technicality is what I’d call it….lol

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Leggs- Copy your posts before posting! Stop falling victim

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Dream

Your trails may not be someone else’s trail

I agree but either you are in or out there cant be a half way in. If you choose to stay in a abusive/etc relationship you are in it ..thats not “complicated”

Putting “complicated” in there gives you a chance to play the victim “woe is me”… when in reality you have a choice!

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@ Leggs- LOL that’s happened to me a few times.

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On being fed up..once you have reached that level and you truly want to leave…there is nothing that can keep you there…if you are still in it…you are there cuz you still have some sort of feelings…a few things I know about women:

1. When they are done..they are done…if she is still around i.e. living with me/talking/texting..there is still something there thats salvagable…but when it’s over it’s OVER

2. If a woman is getting “good loving” in the bedroom she keeps it to herself..and may only tell her closest friend

3. A woman will forgive you but so many times..if you keep doing the same thing over and over constantly..a man can kill all of that love she previoulsy had for you.

So if she is in an , abusive relationship,cheating relationship or whatevr..it’s because she wants to be there. Guys..well we are just dumb sometimes in our decision making and will keep a full plate for no reason besides being greedy…

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LEGALLY, you are single until you are married, but not TECHNICALLY, LITERALLY or any of the other words you may want to use.

This statement is primarily true. However, IMO the engagement process is about getting MENTALLY married.

Also, there are legal rights to engaged persons. You can sue for breach of contract (The state of GA has held that in some cases it can be considered a verbal contract and verbal contracts are binding as long as there has been an offer (the proposal), acceptance, and consideration (taking yourself off the market from other dating opportunities). All of the legal elements of a contracts are there. There have been many cases about engagement rings and such and the court has articulated this contractual mindset if the party that is bringing the suit presents it in a contractual way.

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You can be single till married…on whatever technicality..but do you think someone would want to marry someone who carry’s on like they are single…is there a magic button that is pressed when you say “I do”?

To me dating is a practice run for marriage..you observe and work everything out to see if you two are fit for marriage to each other

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@ Lionesss- No the government doesn’t determine it lol, it’s just the way it is. We’re all boxed at some point in our lives. I’m in a committed relationship and I don’t consider myself single as I stated before. But…yes by the government’s standards I’m single, they don’t allow me to explain my commitment to another or my engagement status, or I’d check that box when I was asked. Can I mark married when I’m not married? Nope…single is the only option.

Am I above being tempted? Nope. Have I been tempted? Of course. Now have I acted on those temptations? No, and I never would because I’m in a relationship. If I ever felt like I didn’t want to resist being tempted or I wanted to see what was out there, then I know how to speak up for myself and let my guy know that things aren’t working between us. It happened to me with my first love. He was tempted, wanted to explore, decided to break up with me. Can I respect that? Hell yes. I’d rather you be up front about it and let me go before we get to engagement and then marriage and then you need a divorce.

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@Poppa G that is what my homework was about this week in Family Law. Breach of contract and what is a irrevocable gift and what is not.

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PG- Interesting..

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This is interesting because someone recently told me that he can tell if women have their radars on or off.

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LOL @ the gov’t determines when you are single or not. does the gov’t say anything about being “boo’d up”?! LOL

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Since it seems like there’s a little bit of a semantics discussion going on, how do people who are actively seeking view others who are legally still married but separated-to-be-divorced?

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Georgia does not recognize common law marriage.

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