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Bad Habits

All of us has quirky little things about us that are part of who we are. For the most part, they are pretty harmless and aren’t such a big deal. However, I believe some of us have some bad habits that may actually run potential partners away. How honest are we about them, though?

I’m quick to say that I love me and if another person can’t recognize all my wonderful goodness (flaws and all) then forget about them! Every now and then, though I have had to stop and think to myself. Is this yet another reason why I’m still single?

What are you bad habits that need to be dropped? I had one that I had no choice but to drop: dating men who had no clue how to be supportive or meet my needs emotionally. They were my bad habit! They were great on paper, ambitious and driven, yada yada. When it came to checking on me and caring about what I thought or felt, I was invisibile. That’s not a good feeling: Being in a couple and feeling alone.

Do you have a bad habit you are drawn to? Maybe there is something about your behavior that is turning people off? Do you have a bad habit of talking down about love and romance? Are you constantly negative about the opposite sex and have a bad habit of complaining about them to everyone you meet?

If we were to take a real honest assessment of some of our bad habits, what do you think we could find to improve? How can we drop them like a…well bad habit!

498 comments Add your comment

East Point's Own

September 3rd, 2009
8:50 am

I don’t know Diva, you are saying that your bad habit is based on what someone else does(or does not do) I challenge you to tell us a real bad habit that is squarely all yours, not related to the people you choose to date or any other person… I’m just saying.

East Point's Own

September 3rd, 2009
8:53 am

My primary bad dating habit is that sometimes I forget that the person I am just starting to date does not know me well… meaning I tend to treat them just like I treat all my good friends, and sometimes this causes confusion since the new person does not understand the meaning behind some things I say or do.

East Point's Own

September 3rd, 2009
8:57 am

Diva LoL Diva is treating us like she is in an interview, where you try to minimize & deflect the “what’s your biggest weakness” question.

Page1908

September 3rd, 2009
8:58 am

Well, are we talking about bad habits in general or when it comes to dating? i need to think…

Page1908

September 3rd, 2009
9:00 am

EPO- LOL I hate that question. I was always told to say that your biggest weakness is something like “I’m a workaholic” or “I’m a perfectionist” or something like that, which can sometimes be a good thing for a potential employer.

Grace

September 3rd, 2009
9:01 am

Good morning, I have a few bad habits:

Jumping to conclusion before finding out the facts.

Hot temper-this is more an attitude adjustment.

Wings()

September 3rd, 2009
9:01 am

Good Morning!

My bad habit is that I am attracted to Professional Bad Boys………..the ones with “BIG EGOS” like WD said they are either emotionally unattached or so professionally consumed that I sometimes don’t get the attention that I deserve……….

My young but perceptive niece said to me recently – “Auntie, you should date a total lame”, maybe there is some wisdom there……….lol

Does the Heart Really Just Want what It Wants………..Or Can It Be Tamed?

Have a Great Day!

MR. Unknown

September 3rd, 2009
9:10 am

Good morning,, Guys. I remember one of my old old bad habits.. Which was being to honest, better yet not being able to express or articulate myself to where I didn’t offend someone…

Mrs. Mason...He put a ring on it.

September 3rd, 2009
9:13 am

Good Morning.

One of my main bad habits was not giving a guy a fighting chance. As far as I was concerned every man that stepped to me had a wife at home or a committed girlfriend somewhere. I would date guys yet still remain very aloof because I knew I would eventually hear of the wife or girlfriend that he has. And I would look and listen for clues to prove it. I eventually got over that hill. Eventually.

However the one thing that I did not get over or rather the bad habit that I still have now that was part of my problem back then is I overanalyze things. My husband and I will be talking and he will say thing and not get a quick response from me. That’s because I am thinking too much into what he said or the situation that he is talking about. He’ll tell me sometimes “I can hear the wheels turning in your head. Stop over thinking things”. It’s a really bad habit that I have.

Sometimes my body language and/or expression give me away. If he says something that I don’t like without realizing it I will kinda turn my body away from him. Or my eyes will squint just a little. I didn’t realize I did this until he pointed out to me one day and my BFF confirmed it.

Grace

September 3rd, 2009
9:17 am

Walking out on a date if I can’t get my point across.

mytw♥cents...NY State of Mind

September 3rd, 2009
9:21 am

WISEY A quick rant ~That Maxwell’s Bad Habit is sumthin. I do wonder why I’m approached to be one of those if you’ve seen the video. All men can’t possibly be cheaters so what is that selection process like – target whomever seems like she’d be down, seems like she has low self esteem, won’t tell, a combo? I find it 1/3 Insulting, 1/3 Confusing and 1/3 Comical. Cheaters, speak out.

I’m a recovering Criteria Compromiser. I used to be real compromising about who gets his foot in the door. Don’t judge initial impressions or questionable trains of thought iup front. Then I was reminding myself to be more lenient about a year & a half ago and I was like… But seriously, why? Time is all too precious and we ain’t promised tomorrow. I’ll save most of my Compromising Capabilities for once I’m on the inside of a relationship, stank you very much.

PAGE FYI ~The Hiring Managers I know told me they’re onto us with that trick…

Page1908

September 3rd, 2009
9:29 am

LOL MyTwo- They are? well, then they need to stop asking the question then!

Wings()

September 3rd, 2009
9:33 am

Playing now…………
Musiq
Teachme

I was told the true definition of a man was to never cry
Work till you tired (yeah) got to provide (yeah)
Always be the rock for my fam, protect them by all means
(and give you the things that you need, baby)
Our relationship is (suffering) trying to give you (what I never had)
You say I don’t know to love you baby
Well I say show me the way
I keep my feelings (deep inside I)
Shadow them (with my pride eye)
I’m trying desperately baby just work with me

[Chorus:]
Teach me how to love
Show me the way to surrender my heart, girl I’m so lost
Teach me how to love
How I can get my emotions involved
Teach me, show me how to love
Show me the way to surrender my heart, girl I’m lost
Teach me how to love
How I can get my emotions involved
Teach me, how to love

M. (pronounced M dot)

September 3rd, 2009
9:34 am

I think my bad habit is not going into every situation with a fresh perspective and attitude of optimisim. I do kinda talk down to the idea of relationships based on the past and not really giving them a chance in my mind immediately. I dont go into a situation negatively but I have a guilty until proven innocent or prove it to me mentality. That’s my bad habit and I need to work on it, whats yours?

Lioness

September 3rd, 2009
9:35 am

Good Morning All,
When I am in a relationship, not listening to my gut in fear of jumping to conclusions..

Grace- DAMN! Walking out?? Like during dinner?

Grown and SexyCool

September 3rd, 2009
9:36 am

Three Words Daily – Faith, not F.E.A.R.

Mrs. Mason...He put a ring on it.

September 3rd, 2009
9:36 am

men who had no clue how to be supportive or meet my needs emotionally

When it comes to the must haves in my relationship being supportive and accommodating to my emotional needs is very, very important. I don’t ask my s/o to understand my emotional needs I just ask that he understand that I have them and I need him to be supportive. Allow me the space to express me when I need to.

When it came to checking on me and caring about what I thought or felt, I was invisible. That’s not a good feeling: Being in a couple and feeling alone.

Another biggie. A relationship is a partnership. The opinions and thoughts of both parties matter equally. We don’t have to agree on everything but we both have an equal say. No one person makes the decisions for all.

Lioness

September 3rd, 2009
9:36 am

Wings- I LOVE that song!

Lioness

September 3rd, 2009
9:39 am

Raqi- AMEN!!!

One sided relationships are the WORST especially when you are dealing with a person who is NOT willing to see that they are the cause..

mytw♥cents...NY State of Mind

September 3rd, 2009
9:41 am

MRS. MASON Eventhough I’m coming from the opposite end of the spectrum, hopefully I’ll end up kinda where you are. Happy (if a lil heavy handed at times) hubby and family who I’m willing to make Pot Roast and potatoes in the middle of the week and fresh squeezed lemonade made with lemons out the garden…Oh maybe ixnay on the stork unexpectedly droppin the lil girl outta the sky. :)

Dream_n

September 3rd, 2009
9:41 am

Good Morning all,

@ Grace : You sound like my twin today…

I think my sarcasm can be a bit of a “bad habit” not just in a relationship, but with friends and family too. I agree with “East Point’s Own”. (when i was dating) I had to realize that this guy doesn’t know me yet and maybe my sarcasm can come off as being rude (so i’ve been told).

M. (pronounced M dot)

September 3rd, 2009
9:42 am

I think my bad habit is not going into every situation with a fresh perspective and attitude of optimisim. I do kinda talk down to the idea of relationships based on the past and not really giving them a chance in my mind immediately. Maybe Im projecting a negative/frustrative vibe at times? I dont go into a situation negatively but I have a guilty until proven innocent or prove it to me mentality. That’s my bad habit, whats yours?

Melo

September 3rd, 2009
9:45 am

dating men who had no clue how to be supportive or meet my needs emotionally

sound like u are at a job interview WD????…why must ur featured bad habit be about the opposite sexx and not about u personally…thats not honest! Are u nasty,too opinionated,loud talker,keep trash in ur car,maintain long dirty nails and a smoker,dont wipe urself properly etc???? :lol:

Grown and SexyCool

September 3rd, 2009
9:46 am

I’m pretty laid back and low-key, but I am also cautious about my heart. I’m told that I comes across as nonchalant and lacking passion.

I’m not a patient person. I want what I want when I want it.

I move to my own beat. I will not be rushed by anyone else’s agenda. So, I guess I don’t compromise well sometimes – especially if I’m not eagerly motivated.

I have “Don’t ask, Don’t tell.” tendencies. (And I’m okay with that.) Although, I’ve been told it comes across as sneaky which is very interesting because I happen to think I’m rather open.

I’d rather walk away than confront – especially if I have not become involved past a certain point.

I’m quick to retreat emotionally at the first sign of bvllsht – often with no warning. Physical retreat follows soon after.

For the record, I don’t plan on changing any of the above habits. I am quite comfortable with them.

MR. Unknown

September 3rd, 2009
9:50 am

I never understood the one-sided relationship,, Are there not signs that this person doesn’t care about your feelings and they seem cold to your emotions? And if your feeling that way, why not talk about it, instead of taking the “Im going to see how he reacts to what im going through approach”.. He should be able to read my mind and act accordingly ect..

Mrs. Mason...He put a ring on it.

September 3rd, 2009
9:50 am

LOL TwoLincolns. You know even when things aren’t going as nicely as I like them to be I still say at the end of everyday “I like it, I love it, I want some more of it.”

Marriage and relationships are a beautiful thing when you have a beautiful hearted person to share it with.

Grown and SexyCool

September 3rd, 2009
9:51 am

Raqi – I’m an overanalyzer as well. And it also tends to show in my body language/attitude when I pick up on a clue/hear or see something that doesn’t jive with me.

Grace

September 3rd, 2009
9:55 am

Lioness, dinner? no way! well that only happened once with the married guy and that doesn’t count since he lied about his status……usually it’s when I’m at his place…

Dream_n :wink: eye to eye with you on being sarcatic…

Melo

September 3rd, 2009
9:55 am

hubby and family who I’m willing to make Pot Roast and potatoes in the middle of the week and fresh squeezed lemonade made with lemons out the garden

oooohhhhh,thats so sweet mytw♥cents!!!

if and when u need help at some point,i ll do my best to swing some potential suitors ur way!

Leggs

September 3rd, 2009
9:57 am

Good morning. Main bad habit I have that my friends are constantly telling me is that I’m too analytical. Personally, I love this habit.

Tiff

September 3rd, 2009
10:00 am

Hi everyone!

When I’m upset I will sit back and say nothing for days. I do this so I can calm down and reflect on what part I played and if its really that serious (I’m a control freak) but it’s seen as me bringing up old ish…smh. Anyway, I’m focusing on addressing the issue upfront in the hopes that it will stop me from walking away from someone too quickly after one mistake on their part.

Mo (aka Moeisha - oh so tired)

September 3rd, 2009
10:00 am

Morning All…..

Grown & SexyCool – you and I are cut from the same cloth! I swear your entire 9:46 is me!! :shock: Except for the patient part, I feel like I do possess a lil patience.

Raqi – I too an am over analyzer, I told someone recently “I can overthink the hell out of anything”

Mrs. Mason...He put a ring on it.

September 3rd, 2009
10:06 am

Mr. Unknown, One part of that is often a symptom of prolongedsinglelitis. I too had a touch of it at one time but I have always been a person that believed in the union. So it was not that hard to overcome. I still have to remind myself occasionally that I don’t have to carry the load alone, coming from being in a place where I had to do it all myself consulting with no one to having an active partner.

But some folks just can’t shake it and some are just selfish and uncaring of their partners concerns and/or wishes.

Everybody is not cut out to be part of couple. Instead of being a piece within the puzzle they are a block. And block-headed.

Mrs. Mason...He put a ring on it.

September 3rd, 2009
10:07 am

SexyCool you know sometimes I am my worst enemy.

Grown and SexyCool

September 3rd, 2009
10:07 am

Mo – I’m a little bit patient………..SOMEtimes.

Mrs. Mason...He put a ring on it.

September 3rd, 2009
10:08 am

Mo see my comment to SexyCool.

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 3rd, 2009
10:08 am

My bad habit is I have a shoe fetish and if a woman wears cheap shoes, no matter how cute or right for me she may be.. I wont deal with her… Kinda like Eddie in Boomerang with the toes.. I’ve noticed over the years Ive been attracted to the same woman over the years… Smart, well dressed, career driven and a go getter, but these things often make a relationship hard because she’s so career driven and a go getter. Everytying else kinda falls into the back seat..

Melo

September 3rd, 2009
10:12 am

My bad habit is that im loose with my mouf esp when Queen asks smething or wants an opinion on some issue…..i aint diplomatic like that so i will unleash a canon right away if i have to……..

i think i have this mis-conception that what is apparent, factual and/or common sense to me must be the same,to her/u too…….females can be tender. smetimes….
The flip side is i aint good at hiding my emotions,thoghts or feelings…if im feeling it,u must know it by mouf or my action……..

i do that at work too and my boss gets onto the receiving end of it…when he comes to me,he has formed his thoghts and lines very carefully so as to ask me intelligently………im cool with the juniors tho,they can be as stupid(intellectually,i dont mind counselling)

Im lucky,my boss is a devout catholic……
happy friday folks(for me it is)…….

Grown and SexyCool

September 3rd, 2009
10:13 am

If I’m not giving real thought to something – even to the point overthinking, it usually means that I really don’t give a sht about it.

Mo (aka Moeisha - oh so tired)

September 3rd, 2009
10:13 am

Raqi – cosigning that sentiment on being ya own worst enemy….SIGH

SCool – I gotcha chica! LOL

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 3rd, 2009
10:14 am

Hey but the one bad bad bad habit I have is trust.. I dont trust anyone as far as I can see them.. I dont say anything but Im always observing.. Oh and if its something I dont like I’ll say it, like Gary Bussey with no filter.. I have a tendency to not put any cut on the conversation.. I call it being blunt but I realize that ish is just rude and I have worked the last 5 years to quell that nonsense..

Dream_n

September 3rd, 2009
10:15 am

My bad habit is I have a shoe fetish and if a woman wears cheap shoes, no matter how cute or right for me she may be..

@ THE INFAMOUS DK
: You’ve got to be kidding me… lmao

Grown and SexyCool

September 3rd, 2009
10:18 am

DK – You’re a nut. HOWever, I do kinda feel you on the shoe thing. I don’t like to see a dude in shoes, sneakers or whatever that should have been retired six months ago.

Page1908- Who Gon Check Me, Boo?

September 3rd, 2009
10:18 am

LOL @ Filthy- cheap shoes omg. what about when the woman wears her shoes like 3 times smaller than her actual size so the toes drag on the ground and the heels hang on to back for dear life?! For some reason it really annoys me when a woman’s pinky toe is dragging and sticking out of the side. No, No, No people!! lol

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 3rd, 2009
10:18 am

Dream – I wish I was but I hate cheap shoes.. I hate to see a cute chick in cheap shoes cause to me shoes are the most important part of your gear..

aggwitt

September 3rd, 2009
10:21 am

I am jugemental to a fault and it isn’t about physical things its about mental acumen. I hear certain things from people and cringe. This carried over to my dating life.

I am also stubborn in my own beliefs. I am who I am and I cannot change. My war cry for so long was “I was this way when you met me, I am not changing, your expectations are” Well that is wrong, I recognize but I haven’t been able to completely stop it either. Luckily I married a chic who can recognize the bullshit and allows for it, to a point.

THE INFAMOUS DK

September 3rd, 2009
10:22 am

Page – See me I would say something about it.. Albeit with a smile and a joke, I would tell her now you know those shoes are too small.. I would be joking but Im dead serious..

Page1908- Who Gon Check Me, Boo?

September 3rd, 2009
10:23 am

LOL SexyCool- I do not like to see dude with those church sandals and socks! Or, like some burgundy tassel shoes!! I can see a couple of blog dudes wearing burgundy tassel shoes. lmao

abc

September 3rd, 2009
10:24 am

What yall are talking about are not habits. Habits are things you repeat on a mostly subconscious level. If you’re fairly deliberate about it, it’s a choice, not a habit.

For instance, saying ‘yada yada’ can be a habit. ‘Yada’ is an ancient Hebrew word referring to platonic relationships and relationship activities.

Page1908- Who Gon Check Me, Boo?

September 3rd, 2009
10:26 am

LOL Filthy- there is an email that goes around every spring i think talking about women and their spring/summer shoes and how they need to keep their feel moisturized so the heels don’t look like they’ve been kicking flour all day. lol. For me, being from San Diego, I am always wearing open-toed and definitely flip flops. Maybe flip flops are my bad habit? I mean, when you grow up on the beach, what else is there to wear?! I’m just used to it. One dude I know said he hates my flip flops because flip flops are “shower shoes”. I’m like WTF?! shower shoes? Who wears shoes in the shower?! *blank look with shrug*.