I Just Want to be Successful…in Love
Good Morning! I had a busy and fun weekend. How was your weekend? I spent part of the weekend relaxing, catching up with friends, and some of it was spent being inspired. I attended the Women In Entertainment Empowerment Network (WEEN) conference where they had wonderful speakers and panel discussions.
One of the panel discussions focused around women balancing their careers and relationships. The discussion briefly covered how women who are used to being CEOs, strong and powerful women faced challenges when it came to relationships.
It’s sad to say, but sometimes being a successful single woman is another roadblock to relationships: finding them and keeping them. As someone on the panel stated, women who are go-getters and successful often have to find ways to downplay their success and achievements when they first meet men. Do you think that men have preconceived ideas about women who are successful and single?
As someone on the panel stated, it’s not necessary for someone to know your entire resume right away. In the beginning, it should just be about two people finding out about each other personally, not professionally.
Ladies, when you meet men, do you think that your successful image becomes a problem?
Men, do you like confident women who are successful? Are you drawn to women who are single and successful? Do you ever think successful women are too high-maintenance or out of your league?
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306 comments Add your comment
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
August 31st, 2009
11:49 am
You’re probably just boring and hiding behind the I’m so nice women dont want me puh–lease lol
Dream – YES! This is usually the case – boring and no zest for life, no spunk!
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
11:54 am
The secret of success in love is to C.A.R.E.
Communicate, Adore, Respect, and Enjoy
Melo
August 31st, 2009
11:54 am
To me thats not even a “man” more like a boy with money
i see u Chink, on that moral high horse!
go ‘head,take ur poor, moral high man and sup on noodles..
Laura
August 31st, 2009
11:55 am
Here’s a great article he should look at.
http://concretelyambiguous.com/truth-in-words/protecting-your-relationship-if-you-want-to/
OR
http://concretelyambiguous.com/truth-in-words/seven-places-youll-find-your-man/
Dream_n
August 31st, 2009
11:55 am
@ Kimmie
You hit it right on the head lol… I have a friend that i’ve known since i was 16… he’s always been into making money, showing it off, and paying fr everything… Now he’s 25 and feels like he has no friends or a decent woman that wants him for him… that’s becasue all these years you’ve been buying friensgips buying relationships…. it’s so sad though….
Chink
August 31st, 2009
11:57 am
Melo….I do have my own money….but you know what I would sup on noodles for him …because I know he will eventually give us what we deserve.
Tazzee - RIP iPhone
August 31st, 2009
12:02 pm
(been in meetings for the last 2 hours)
I’m not even sure if we’re still on topic but – I don’t even place a lot of weight on my professional accomplishments. I try to avoid all work talk outside of work. When my future husband asks how was my day at work I always tell him good – because it’s over, LOL.
But like Raqi says, every part of us helps to define who we are. Honestly my climb up the corporate ladder has nothing to do with me setting goals and achieving them – or me being such a goal getter. It’s more of a reflection of the fact that I’m a good worker and God’s blessings on my life. Every promotion I’ve received since my first job found me – I was going through life doing what I do.
Now let me see what you all have been talking about for the past 2 hours…
SexyCool - Insert witty phrase here
August 31st, 2009
12:04 pm
My sister has a six week old pure bred male yorkie for sale. $500. Has had his first shots (has the shot records). Will be due for the next round of shots within the week.
If you know anyone who is interested, email me at cscfromajc@yahoo.com
Google Dating Online » I Just Want to be Successful…in Love | Misadventures in Atlanta
August 31st, 2009
12:06 pm
[...] the original post: I Just Want to be Successful…in Love | Misadventures in Atlanta This entry is filed under Dating, Dating in Atlanta. You can follow any responses to this entry [...]
Dan
August 31st, 2009
12:06 pm
@WD
In writing this post, did you think about what “success in love” is for you? If so, (and when you have the time) please share.
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
12:09 pm
Dan that’s a good question.
What is your definition of success in love?
Chink
August 31st, 2009
12:13 pm
Funny how some use those expressions that make it seem like you are better than everyone else when the person you are accusing doesn’t think so at all…but since you perceive me to be “all of that” thanks for the compliment!
Dan
August 31st, 2009
12:19 pm
@Raqi
My personal definition of love was enumerated last weeek in my description of my mate. The only addendum to that post would be finding, keeping, and making happy said woman.
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
12:21 pm
The first step to success in love was to find that special man that gets me. After finding him the next step is to have a loving, healthy, happy, fulfilling life with him.
Marriage was not necessarily my goal or the point at where I would say I am successful in love. However since marriage is where we landed, “Until death do us part” will be success for me.
A lot of people feel that they have succeeded in finding a partner. And others go a step further in that getting them to marry is the ultimate success. But I say those two acts are just the beginning. The journey to being successful comes in fruitfulness of the life that you all share after that.
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
12:23 pm
finding, keeping, and making happy said
woman.Dan my sentiments exactly. It’s the whole package.
AmazonRed™ - successful in vacationing
August 31st, 2009
12:23 pm
Men don’t get flowers do they? Even if they do, it sounds a little weird.
What is something cool you can send to a guy at his job to let him know he’s special? Does Open Table let you buy someone lunch for the day?
Wings ()
August 31st, 2009
12:23 pm
I think the attributes that sometimes propel women to the top, can hurt a relationship if the man is not comfortable in his own skin. Being a decision maker requires you to make calls that ………………that can be intimidating……………..
It’s same principal behind the strength of any woman that has had to go it alone………….. weather she is a CEO or a single parent. There is a toughness that sometimes accompanies those roles.
Wings ()
August 31st, 2009
12:25 pm
@ARED – I have sent a plant instead of flowers but lunch sounds even better.
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
12:26 pm
Wings what’s the meaning of the symbol beside your name?
Wings ()
August 31st, 2009
12:27 pm
@Raqi – Your 12:21 is on point I agree – growing love…………..what eva that looks like…….TTYL
Melo
August 31st, 2009
12:28 pm
The journey to being successful comes in fruitfulness of the life that you all share after that.
u kinda make it seem like success can only be measured after one has kicked the bucket….Not so, i say..
u can measure success in increaments and at certain points in ur lyfe…hence “success thus far”….
If u cannot define that “”success”" at what ever point u are in ur lyfe,either u dont have it or u hiding ur failures and fooling urself…
Wings ()
August 31st, 2009
12:29 pm
Raqi – wholeness…………
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
12:30 pm
Amazon you can send cookie bouquets. There is a company that will send cookies in a box that long stem roses would come in. The cookies will have a stem attached. Those are a very sweet gesture. And “Edible” fruit arrangementst are really nice.
Wings ()
August 31st, 2009
12:31 pm
@Melo – True…………….so maybe it does go back to what someone wrote earlier about success being a journey rather than a destination……………..
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
12:37 pm
Melo how did you get that from what I wrote? I am not saying that.
Dream_n
August 31st, 2009
12:38 pm
@ melo… so true
But what about success in love… What is success in love??? Is it goal… is it also a journey.. At what point can you say I have been successful in love?
Melo
August 31st, 2009
12:46 pm
success in luv depends on what u looking for in luv and if u have achieved it or u still looking..
Last time i checked,most females are looking for a “good man”, a protector, a husband and a lyfe filled with luv,joy and happyiness….not much drama filled.
There are some here just looking for the occassional rub,eve now and then but dont wanna be tied down to a man or woman…so the defntion depends on the individual….
Others too have defined their needs in luv based on their failure rate,so we all must read tween the lines,careeeeeefuuuuully!
Leggs
August 31st, 2009
12:48 pm
Being successful in love is a willingness to put the games away, a willingness to learn about one another, a willingness to show ones flaws and not hide as if they didn’t exist. Being successful in love only means you have to be true to yourself and your partner. If both are on the same page wanting the same thing at the same time, then you’ve been successful.
Chink
August 31st, 2009
12:52 pm
Being successful in love only means you have to be true to yourself and your partner. If both are on the same page wanting the same thing at the same time, then you’ve been successful.
I like that leggs ..
Wanting the same thing at the same time sometimes that happens and I guess sometimes you just have to put your own wants aside for them too.
Kym-Steeler Nation and Snuggie Cult Member
August 31st, 2009
12:54 pm
Well this is a first…I actually get what Melo is saying. If success is a journey..then you would measure it not at the end but in each individual step you take. For example, we mention parenting. When I my son learned to walk(run)..success mom doesn’t not have to carry you anymore. When he learned to feed himself(lawd not sure if this is success or the failure of my fridge) but no longer having to do it for him. Now while these may seem small for a child that is relatively normal. For a parent with a child with developmental difficulties. The first steps, the first time that child holds a spoon or learns a new word. All of those are successes. In love it is kind of the same thing. You meet someone(success you found one out of a sea of fools), you date them without any major hiccups(success no one got kicked to the curb), you decide to live together or committ or whateva(success you are no longer in the dating rat race) even if you don’t work out(success you found out before you got sucked in for the long haul.) Each step is a success or victory. To quote Miley Cyrus(and I really like this song.) ” There’s always gonna be another mountain, I’m always gonna wanna make it move, Always gonna be a uphill battle, sometimes I’m gonna have to lose. Ain’t about how fast I get there, aint about what’s waiting on the otherside, It’s the climb.” Success is about the climb.
Dream_n
August 31st, 2009
12:58 pm
Is it just me or does anyone else get a “high” off of intelligent people (or so they seem lol) coming together giving honest, thoughtful, opinions on subject matters. It makes me feel some kind of way….. lol…..
On topic: I too agree with the majority.. being successful in love depends on the person and what their idea of success is…. I love couples working to together for a common goal.. wanting the best for themselves… and the people around them….
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
1:00 pm
Kym while those milestones are noted I would not call those success in my parenting. Those are just things that need to take place in the growing process of becoming an able bodied adult. Yet my job as a parent does not end there. When I have made it to the end and done all that is in my ability to do right and well for my kids then I will or not be successful as a good mother.
You don’t measure the success of building a house after just putting up the framing. The house is not built until it is complete and livable.
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
1:12 pm
Melo I see like the trip we took Saturday. The Amicalola Falls has 425 steps to the top of the falls. I made it right pass 300 steps but I was not successful in making it to the top. My goal when I arrived was to get to the top of the falls as it is for the majority that make the trip. Some people drive to the top. But the steps are there as a bit of a challenge if you want to take it getting to the top. If you don’t make it all the way then you did not succeed in taking the steps to the top.
Dream_n
August 31st, 2009
1:14 pm
While I do agree with Raqui…. I understand what Kym is conveying….
When parenting, there can be goals that you want to meet.. whether it be at 1 yrs old.. getting rid of that dreadful pacifier lol… or trying to get him/her to walk at a certain age…or eat by themselves at a certain age… while these are mini accomplishments.. If they are met… Haven’t you suceeded in achieving that success…. ??????
Ralph
August 31st, 2009
1:14 pm
No “real” man would be intimidated by a successful woman. Most secure men would prefer to have a woman that is just as accomplished or better off than they are. I never could understand how this was such a big problem. The more money that comes into the relationship the better. That will only allow us to accomplish more. If you like to belittle your man and don’t know when to keep your mouth shut thats a whole different story though.
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 31st, 2009
1:25 pm
Ralph – That US thing is huge.. It sounds good but you know what it is.. My Money is my Money and your Money is my Money..
Melo
August 31st, 2009
1:26 pm
but I was not successful in making it to the top
becoz ur conditioning was not there and also becoz ur proly under-estimated what it takes to get there….so dont devalue ur accomplishements thus far at 300..
with more,better conditioning..u may ultimately get there….if u were to go back to that spot….
The problem i see with these relationships etc, is pple not staying in their lane…
where u are in lyfe may not be agreable to another woman coz u seem a lil off,based on the average progressions of other men…or vice versa…
We all progress and achieve our goals at diff times based on a whole host of variables…..
Stick to ur lane….
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
1:27 pm
IMO Dream I may have passed some milestones but I have not succeeded in my task of parenting.
Parents give life, offer support, provide discipline and instill morals and principles.
Just because my son has made it to college does not mean I am successful as his mother. There is more to come. He has not succeeded in becoming the best man he can be therefore my job as his mother is still in play. He will need more advice and direction as he continues to live and grow.
Let’s use another example other than building a house. Let’s use running a race. Now if your only goal is to run one mile, then yes at the one mile mark you have succeeded. But if you enter the race to get to the finish line, I don’t care how many marks you encounter in the race you have not succeeded until you get to the finish line.
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 31st, 2009
1:27 pm
I will be a success when my Son is on his on and is a productive citizen in society..
Dream_n
August 31st, 2009
1:29 pm
@ THE INFAMOUS DK
Do you always have a bit of a negative out look on every subject… or has your past relationships with men/women (relationships and friendships) attributed to this…… just curious??
Leggs
August 31st, 2009
1:30 pm
@Raqi, your house frame example made me think of those who feel they’ve a certain level of success once they’ve purchased a home. The success is not necessarily in acquiring the home. The success is in paying that mortgage every month and keeping your home.
Chink
August 31st, 2009
1:31 pm
Is success and winning the same thing?
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
1:33 pm
Yet again Melo I was not successful in what I went there to do. Yes I was just as successful as the person who only set out to do 300 steps and did it. And I was more successful than the one that set out to do 300 and could not make it. But not successful in what I wanted to do.
Just like a woman may want to get married. If marriage is her goal then that’s what she should go for. Why settle for just getting the man in your life when marriage is what you want. Find a different one if that one is holding you back from what it is you want to do.
Dream_n
August 31st, 2009
1:34 pm
@ Raqi
and that’s what i think Kym (and I) were saying… We’re not saying that we’ve succeeded in parenting… by no means has me getting my daughter off of a pacifer (just an example) solidifies my parenting as being successful lol…. It’s just goals that you set in place that you accomplish I believe can be a small part of your own personal success
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
August 31st, 2009
1:35 pm
If you like to belittle your man and don’t know when to keep your mouth shut thats a whole different story though.
Ralph – I agree. You don’t have to be a corporate CEO to come home & belittle & be bossy to your man, if that’s you inclination.
Chink
August 31st, 2009
1:36 pm
Success may mean:
a level of social status
achievement of an objective/goal
the opposite of failure
Win
to finish first in a race, contest, or the like.
to succeed by striving or effort: He applied for a scholarship and won.
to gain the victory; overcome an adversary: The home team won.
They seem similar but I guess we have different views of them on our lives
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
1:39 pm
The success is in paying that mortgage every month and keeping your home.
That’s exactly correct Leggs. Signing those mounds of papers is just the first step. Now it’s time to pay the mortgage on the road to ownership. Our goal is own our house free and clear. Until then we have to keep making those payments.
It’s not success because my husband made this month’s payment. There are 148 more payments to go until we own it free and clear.
Raqi
August 31st, 2009
1:41 pm
Chink winning is success but success does not always mean winning.
Melo
August 31st, 2009
1:50 pm
Yet again Melo I was not successful in what I went there to do
i agree but i dont think there are pple out there who are 100% successful at achieving their desired goals..even bill gates and warren wld be in this category too…
nobody in this lyfe attains everything they set out to do..so we playing a game of semantics..
im not sure u wld define ur climb as total failure…thats a negative way to view lyfe.
SexyCool - Insert witty phrase here
August 31st, 2009
2:01 pm
I was a homeowner from 2000 to 2005. I sold my home due to the loss of a job and the resulting financial hardship. At the time, my definition of success was very much tied to that.
I am at a point now where I do not tie my definition of success to home ownership or any other material possession. Don’t get me wrong – I LIKE NICE THINGS and I buy them, but I am not defined by them.
I have given about sixty seconds of thought as to whether it is because I no longer own the home or is it because I now think on a higher plain that caused the shift in my definitions. (You know – kinda like saying, “Oh, that’s what broke people tell themselves to make themselves feel better.” LOL)
The conclusion that I have come to is that I have learned to want what I have and to be grateful for it and to give thanks for that which is coming.
Because the best really is yet to come!