In Between Men
Ok, not literally between men. The title refers to the time when a single woman is not in an exclusive relationship but has a couple of suitors on deck who could definitely make a great candidate. I think for a lot of women this time can extend longer than expected or desired. Then she’s left with the dilemma: do I pursue casual hookups in the meantime or wait for Mr. Right (aka Mr. Right around the corner, Mr. Right for you, Mr. Right on TIME).
I don’t think this is an issue for men as much, is it? Do guys ever consider the idea of casual hooking up with one woman a deterrent to having a long-term relationship with another one? Is it necessary to do the meaningless booty calls and random hook ups if you actually want to build something with someone you feel connected to?
What do you do in the time that you are between relationships? Focus energy on finding the long term relationship that you actually desire or hit up the single people buffet until you get full?
What do you think is the best course of action if you really desire a long term relationship?
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501 comments Add your comment
QC
August 28th, 2009
8:29 am
Morning everyone! Did’nt Mike Vick look good last night YES
Hope you all have a great day in spite of the rain (which we really need) Have a great weekend also 
http://www.blackthen com SMOOCHES
Raqi...What's a sleep number?
August 28th, 2009
8:40 am
I remember when I was between men. I liked one but there was just something extra special about the other that I loved. I just went along with it until it took the course it needed to take in me choosing the one I really wanted to be with. But you know what I am soooo sleepy right now. I want to talk about that time span but I am just sleepy. And this rain is not helping at all.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 28th, 2009
8:47 am
Good Morning WD, Bloggers
“What do you do in the time that you are between relationships? Focus energy on finding the long term relationship that you actually desire or hit up the single people buffet until you get full?”
Personally I am ONLY looking for a meaningful relationship. Unfortunately therein lies the rub, how can you tell the difference quickly enough to get out before someone gets hurt. I’m in that dilemma right now. One lady likes me a lot (beats me why), very nice, attractive, attentive…but I am unsure that I feel an inclination to take it deeper. Another lady I really want to pursue which frankly is not my style (okay the woman from the other day that had me in a funk did call the next day and is interested…I just have to rein in my own emotions and not get carried away, translate STUPID, in the heat of the moment again).
As shallow as it sounds, I don’t want to let go of the first until I have the second firmly in hand. Now excuse me why I go into the mens room, look at myself in the mirror, and tell myself what an azz I am being.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 28th, 2009
8:50 am
Off topic, I left really early this morning and the really bad ATL drivers STILL got out early enough to clog up the roads. It is a game here in the ATL to try to figure out which route the dummies did not take…and I guessed wrong again. Man they were banging into each other all over the place.
Grace
August 28th, 2009
9:11 am
I’m not looking to be a lover or a fling, I’m only looking for long term relationship that will lead to marriage, in other words I date to marry, I no longer date for fun. Between time I focus on me, building my spiritual side, fine tuning my attitude and such. Not living so much in the past but remembering events that will help me to not make the same mistakes.
Good rainy morning!
Chink
August 28th, 2009
9:23 am
In between time I usually just have a couple of male friends (no booty) …until the one I really like shows up. I usually get into long term relationships.
Melo
August 28th, 2009
9:33 am
Personally I am ONLY looking for a meaningful relationship. Unfortunately
eeehh,eehh,my mayne…if i were u,i wld just keep banging them untill it really hits u in the head(dawns on u) that u need to settle down!
I dont think u there yet,given all the nice and beautiful women u say u meet.If u still got hangups, u cant lie to urself nor force issues to settle down.
When the right one comes,u will know and u will harness ur energy towards her ONLY.
OFF TOPIC:
Mayne,its raining cows,donkeys and horses out there.
Congtatulations SWISS,for UR DAY TOMORROW!!
Wish u Many more Buddy…and WELCOME TO THE HARNESS!
ON topic AGAIN:
What do you do in the time that you are between relationships?
Most grown men will tap around untill they find the right one or settle when the right one comes along by destiny.In the meantime, u got feed that raging animal just to keep it in check…hunger aint a good thing,in fact,it can be cause for destructive aggression.Now this may seem to contradict what i said yesterday but it dont,cause that message of abstinance was for ladies.
Guys always feed and prey on the willing and non-abstainers,but cherish and value the tight legged ones!
Morning folks!
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
9:37 am
@ Randy T
I don’t think there’s a problem with you having both women “unless” they both bellieve you are exclusive with them… then that’s a problem…. Can’t really talk about this subject lol… Last time I was inbetween relationshios I was 16 or 17 and that didn’t really count “puppy love”. I think if a woman is genuinely not looking for a long -term realtionship at the time, then hey have your friends or guys you see…. But if you’re looking to get into a meaningful relationship I don’t think having guys on deck is a wise decision.. too many emotions get involved and you end up getting confused as to who to be with or should you leave them all and pursue someting new…. which can get emotionally draining……
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 28th, 2009
9:58 am
Hey Melo and Dream n …probably right. I just tend to feel very uncomfortable in multiple relationships. I date a lot (made up for lost time during marriage with a vengeance) but I almost always have been one at a time, short duration (once or twice out then either I don’t call back or they get smart and don’t answer). It would not be a problem if most of the wome I dated were biotches, but they aren’t…I screen well before I ever go out.
Oh well. New manager I think just screwed me over. May be time to go to upper management and ask to be transferred into another group. I hate getting comfortable with a chain of command and then get some new hotshot above me who wants to make his mark.
Wings () (Loving the Reign and Rain)
August 28th, 2009
10:06 am
Good Morning and Happy Friday All:
What a long week!
If I am committed, I refuse to be in between men……..
If I am dating that’s a little different, dating does not equal a relationship or booty call…………..
I don’t consider not being in a relationship as a mean time, it’s my life and time to re position myself and get and focus on the the other parts of my life that matter…….fellowship,work, family,friends, my dream, reading, writing………I could go on and on…………….My desire is to continue to give myself the good energy that I would give my SO.
Best course of Action: Do you…… “He who Findeth A Wife, Findeth A Good Thing……….Just work on being Ms. Good Thing!
Off Topic
Noche……Has the best Tapis in town!
SexyCool - Flowing slowly.
August 28th, 2009
10:10 am
Three Words Daily – Let it be.
Compelling
August 28th, 2009
10:10 am
Good Morning All!
I’m so happy it’s Friday and I’m in a wonderful mood!
In between relationships I casually date but I tend to reflect a lot more and focus on improving self. I think you need a healthy space between relationships so that you can purge all the negative. Being emotionally ready to handle a new relationship is very important, so give yourself the time to breathe. Casually dating others during the “off season” is not a bad thing though, but I made it clear to the other person that we were just dating and that long-term was not my main goal at the time. It worked just fine.
Wings () (Loving the Reign and Rain)
August 28th, 2009
10:16 am
@Dream – The real question is where is the threshold between being single and breaking off dating with others………..to become exclusive? Because if you’ve been dating, you gotta let them other folks know………….a lot of people keep one foot in the dating pool although they have SO they are trying to get to know…………..drama!
SexyCool - Flowing slowly.
August 28th, 2009
10:16 am
I date casually between the end of one commitment and the beginning of another. However, I usually find that there seems to be a natural gravitation towards one person over the others.
Random hookups and booty calls can distract from long-term goals, but that doesn’t stop them from happening.
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
10:20 am
@ compelling : I agree.. that in between time can give you the much needed break to reevaluate alot of things. SOme people tend to loose themselves in the relationship and once it’s over don’t really know who they are(those people really annoy me lol)
@ Randyt Do you want to be in a relationship or do you enjoy casual dating more (I’m confused)
Grace
August 28th, 2009
10:21 am
But if you’re looking to get into a meaningful relationship I don’t think having guys on deck is a wise decision.. too many emotions get involved and you end up getting confused as to who to be with or should you leave them all and pursue someting new…. which can get emotionally draining……- Dream_n good point!
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
10:26 am
No Men dont get caught up in all the hook up legal mumbo jumbo.. We usually date until we find one that shines truer than the others and shes it. Its that simple. Caveman sensibilities.. Me Like you You like Me, I club you real good one evening and hey bingo blammo bango.. Youre the girl.. Now its cutting the loose ends where it gets complicated..
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
10:26 am
@ wings
So true… “leading people on” comes to mind when I think of that scenario…. but unless you’ve both agreed upon seeing other people at the same time then my option would be to be “honest”.
I think “some” women when they tend to meet someone they are really attracted to (physical and mental) wer kinda give up the side guys or pay less attention to them…. but “most” men feel the need to hang on to their options just in case it doesn’t work… I’ll be darned if I’m a man’s just in case…..lol
SexyCool - Flowing slowly.
August 28th, 2009
10:28 am
DK – “Now, its cutting the loose ends where it gets complicated.”
Co-sign.
Wings () (Loving the Reign and Rain)
August 28th, 2009
10:31 am
@Melo – Realistically, I don’t think that because a woman necessarily makes the choice to give herself to a man that she has found and incredible connection with should be judged negatively by him…………. he was just as culpable as she was………….we all know that once you have been to the land of milk and honey that is hard not to go back!
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
10:37 am
Dream – Oh its so refreshing to see a babe unjaded yet.. Confusing emotionally.. Please these old pros can juggle dudes like dudes juggle babes.. Hopefully you dont get there..
Wings () (Loving the Reign and Rain)
August 28th, 2009
10:39 am
Ja Rue and Mary J Rainy Days
Smile
[Mary]
It’s just those rainy days
Spend a lifetime tryin’ to wash away
Until the sun comes out and shines again
Smile for me, smile for me
[Ja]
All of Those rainy days
Spend your lifetime tryin’ to wash away
Til the sun shines and I see your face
Smile at me, smile at me
[Mary]
We were always living so crazy and sexy and cool
And we begin to love it (begin to love it)
Watchin all of the heartache and pain of the world
And thinkin nothin of it ( thinkin nothin of it)
Baby I got a love for you
And I know that you got me, baby (got me baby)
But every time the sun shines bright
It get so cloudy yeaaa
Chorus
Sometimes the Rule don’t mind the rain
It kinda feels like I’m drownin in the Lords pain
Until the sun comes out and shines again
Smile, give me reason to smile
Mo (aka Moeisha)
August 28th, 2009
10:42 am
Happy Rainy Friday ya’ll! Wish I could be home enjoying this…..
SCool – co-signing that 10:16
East Point's Own
August 28th, 2009
10:43 am
When I am between relationships I live life… and do whatever the heck (LoL) I want to do… when and how I want to do it… by myself.
Dan
August 28th, 2009
10:44 am
@Melo
There is a place for the “tight legged one”, but she doesn’t rate more prominent than any other. Whether she’s active or inactive, it’s more about the connection and wanted to investigate or develop it. For guys (disclaimer: only speaking on myself and my crew(s)) the sex is the least of the determining factors for building a relationship.
Won’t say that it [good sex] hurts, but it [great sex] helps as a selling point.
I think DK hit the mark (pause). A guy may “see” any number of women at one time, but until the he’s “feeling” emerges, all else is fun and games.
tramell powell
August 28th, 2009
10:45 am
Men datein gmen is not a big deal to me, my only concern is when men are dateing men,they wanna keep it on the low, to me thats gross no female that i know wants to have sex or even date a man thats messing around with another man. so to all the gay guys out there cut that downlow stuff out,because if you are man enough to sleep with another man you should be man enough to be open with it.
Wings () (Loving the Reign and Rain)
August 28th, 2009
10:45 am
IDK – Have you been juggled?
i love men
August 28th, 2009
10:47 am
Enter your comments here
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
10:48 am
Tramell – Reading is fundamental.. Read the blog entry not just the name.. Oh and welcome to the blog by the way..
i love men
August 28th, 2009
10:48 am
this is to Tramell…shut up YOU KNOW NOTHING, AND IM PROBABLY SLEEPING WITH YOUR MAN RIGHT NOW….
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
10:50 am
Wings – Everybody has been juggled.. Everytime a woman tells you shes dating shes juggling.. As long as you see it for what it is there arent any hard feelings..
Chink
August 28th, 2009
10:50 am
LOL
Wings () (Loving the Reign and Rain)
August 28th, 2009
10:54 am
ILM – Although she is way off topic………….she has a point………it’s a real equation in the dating pool and in the choices that folks make………….no harm, no foul………just a point of view.
Chink
August 28th, 2009
10:56 am
Funny how they always claim to be sleeping with your man I doubt it…just a insecurity tactic
Wings () (Loving the Reign and Rain)
August 28th, 2009
11:00 am
IDK – So why is dating considered to be juggling and jaded?………I actually think it helps a person know what they want and don’t want in someone……….and you are right we’ve all been juggled.
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
11:01 am
Wings – Thats why I love Atlanta.. A 100% Mayne with no artificial flavors or perservatives gets love out here… These dudes that have inhaled fumes, oxidizing agents and toxins got it twisted out here..
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
11:03 am
Wings – I didnt say dating is Jaded.. I say after you get a certain age juggling occurs.. After a chick has been burned enough she’ll start juggling.. You know the good girl gone bad scenario.. Dream-n aint went bad yet..
Come on now in your 30’s you know what you want and exactly what youre looking for.. Everything else is called collateral damage. Or Incidentals.
Wise Diva
August 28th, 2009
11:04 am
Happy Friday everyone. I didn’t expect that kind of spin on the topic, but hey, stranger things have come from other topics before, LOL so welcome Tramell!
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
11:05 am
Reading is fundamental.. Read the blog entry not just the name.. Oh and welcome to the blog by the way..
LOL!!! also….. things can be “emotionally confusing” unles the person has no attachment to the other person and it’s just…. dare I sa …SEX. but i honestly belive that if you are dating more that none person and there is an attraction beyond “physical” then it can become draining… IMO…..
Chink
August 28th, 2009
11:05 am
Everything else is called collateral damage…tell me about it!
Wise Diva
August 28th, 2009
11:05 am
oh Good Girl gone Bad, goodness I’ve had to go through that before, it’s just a stage though.
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
11:06 am
sorry guys… i’m typing very fast.. trying not to let the boss lady catch me lol….. i think she’s on to me
Wings () (Loving the Reign and Rain)
August 28th, 2009
11:08 am
IDK – True women in Atlanta really do appreciate the men that keep it 100!
Chink
August 28th, 2009
11:09 am
Dream I understand I would get worn out…never tried either. There are those who can pull it off …but I just don’t have the time or the patience.
For Real
August 28th, 2009
11:10 am
Why do women make everything so freakin hard? If you are not in a relationship you date until you are in one. Why all the extra pontification about time and emotions. This is the only country in the world that has soooo many hang-ups about sex. If you like sex then do it. At a certain age your emotions shouldn’t rule you. If they do, do ole boy a favor and just keep it moving. I mean it just ain’t that hard.
Grace: do you tell the dudes you date that you are dating to get married. If so, how soon do you tell them. If not, why?
Melo
August 28th, 2009
11:11 am
Whether she’s active or inactive, it’s more about the connection and wanted to investigate or develop it
Dan/Wings, i think u are circling the wagons!!
rating above or below is a subjective thing(urs),it happens whether the deed/foul is between 2 agreeable parties or not.
If u chomp one but dont marry her and u go chomp another but marry her becoz of the “connection” u have with her, u rated the second one “more marriageable” based on ur subjective rule.
If they are all the same(in ur eyes) so why choose one over the other??
Wings () (Loving the Reign and Rain)
August 28th, 2009
11:12 am
WD – If you are lucky it’s a stage if not, it’s your permanent address! lol I say that to say hopefully you make wiser choices instead of juggling.
SexyCool - Flowing slowly.
August 28th, 2009
11:13 am
Oh…And another thing, I no longer think of myself as living life “between relationships” or whatever. I’m just living my life.
And I guess what I’m really saying is that I’ve stopped using my relationship status as a defining factor for my life.
It’s ALL life to be lived to its fullest.
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
11:13 am
For Real – True… Its just not rocket science for men.. But.. Women are emotional creatures even when they try and act like they got a pair..
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
11:13 am
@ THE INFAMOUS DK — lol… “Good Girl Gone Bad” I think everyone has that stage in their life…
Chink
August 28th, 2009
11:13 am
For Real ..whats wrong with standards? Shoot not everyone is good in bed.
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
11:14 am
@ SC– so true.. love the statement..
Wings () (Loving the Reign and Rain)
August 28th, 2009
11:14 am
@ Melo – How you arrive at your choice is totally up to you…………. I say at some point you should choose and it it should not necessarily be based on weather or not she gave it up!
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
11:15 am
Sexy – Well can I be between you.. I mean between with you.. Oh h3ll.. None of that sounds right..
MR. Unknown
August 28th, 2009
11:15 am
Good morning,,, Draft day Saturday and Sunday,,, football season is here!!!
Topic: I hate to hear, Im dating to get married right off the bat… What is that??!?.. Starting the relationship with negative vibes… Causal is always fun…
MR. Unknown
August 28th, 2009
11:16 am
Mock draft, had a bad mock draft… terrible!!
Chink
August 28th, 2009
11:17 am
LOL Mr Unknown some men date to get married too. I guess you wouldnt be compatible with said person.
Dan
August 28th, 2009
11:18 am
@Melo
I know few (like 1 admitted virgin) thus, everyone that I “chomp” from the time I started til I get married is by definition “not the one”, so no delineation is required.
The one I marry is the one that fits what I want in a mate. While there have been others, to be sure, none really crossed the finish line.
Melo
August 28th, 2009
11:26 am
totally up to you=subjective, i agree and said that
it should not necessarily be based on weather or not she gave it up!=i dont necessarily disagree nor agree altho how often she chops it up comes in the equation of most men.
none really crossed the finish line=becoz of ur subective rationale,so we dont disagree=u choose based on ur subjective reasoning.
Grace
August 28th, 2009
11:27 am
When the doubts come, see them, feel them, laugh at them and let them go. You can do it and you know it.
Just a little positive action will get your confidence starting to roll. Go ahead and take that first small step.
A successful attitude is as close as your next thought. Imagine in detail what success means to you right now, and just as suddenly, you are on your way.
Smile at each challenge, because you see its value. Know that every setback makes the achievement more solidly yours.
Circumstances work in your favor when you think and work in your favor. Events unfold to support and fulfill your most sincere and intense expectations.
Whatever happens is another step in the right direction. For you will find a way to make it so.
Recognize A Real Woman
August 28th, 2009
11:27 am
Please ladies and gentlemen, don’t get me wrong on this, but…….
Isn’t all this sleeping around the main cause of the widespread STD epidemic in America? I’m just a firm believer of dating only one person at a time. Maybe I’m too old fashioned, but I also care about my body, self-esteem and reputation. I simply refuse to have a sexual relationship with two or more men at once. I just don’t do “casual hook-ups” as most of you call them. If I am like a guy, he knows that I like him and we discuss becoming more serious or he moves the heck over for the next guy to have a chance and the process starts over. I don’t sleep with a guy until I have know him at least 90 days. In those 90 days we discuss many things.
My advice to daters: Please gather some dignity and stop playing chicken with your lives and bodies.
Dan
August 28th, 2009
11:33 am
@melo
That’s a false analogy at best. Of course my standards are subjective, no woman fits into a “standard” or “objective” standard. What is it that you’re asking?
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
11:33 am
Chink – Men Dont date to get married they date to get sex.. Mariiage is a byproduct of said sexcapades.. Unless of course she’s Oprah, then we’re trying to marry, impregnate and everything else right away..
anonymousella
August 28th, 2009
11:34 am
when i am in between men, i spend copious amounts of time doing whatever i want. i don’t date because the process bores me. so instead i read, paint, go to plays, have dinner with friends and travel.
i always figured i would never have a ‘forever’ type of life anyway. i never thought i would get married. i assumed instead that i would have several long-term, non-marital relationships with lots of single-time in between. so i am quite comfortable ‘doing me’ when i am not, uh, doing someone else. would rather have fun by myself than be bored by someone else.
Google Dating Online » In Between Men | Misadventures in Atlanta
August 28th, 2009
11:34 am
[...] from: In Between Men | Misadventures in Atlanta This entry is filed under Long Term Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry [...]
SexyCool - Flowing slowly.
August 28th, 2009
11:36 am
“I’m dating to get married.”
Everyone that you meet or date is not going to be a match or marriage material for you.
Why not take a date or five to get to know something about this person to even determine if he is a fit for you? Because, it could be that after you’ve been around this person a few times, you may discover that he is not The One and that you need to push on.
And pull back on some of all that emotion, going ALL IN, immediately. It’s not healthy. This is not a race. There is no hurry.
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
11:36 am
@ THE INFAMOUS DK : Men Dont date to get married they date to get sex.. ?????????? I hope you’re joking….
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
11:36 am
Ella – Good one.. I feel the same way..
Kym
August 28th, 2009
11:36 am
Good Mid-Morning All,
I agree with For Real, in other countries there are not this many hangups you date until there is a meeting of the minds..Done.
Off-Topic If you live in Cobb, Clayton,Henry or Fayette Counties…you can’t drive. It is something about folks with those tags…drives me nuts.
For Real
August 28th, 2009
11:37 am
DK: “Its just not rocket science for men…Women are emotional creatures even when they try and act like they got a pair..” – It’s not rocket science period. Women use “emotional creatures” as an excuse. It’s kinda like when dudes say I’ll die if I don’t get none. All I’m saying is if they can control their emotions to keep and succeed at their jobs, why can’t they control their emotions in the personal life. Hell it would save them 99 problems.
Chink: “For Real ..whats wrong with standards? Shoot not everyone is good in bed.” – Huh, are you saying you are not good in bed and you needs some Zipppppppppppppp in-scrut-shuns?
Grace
August 28th, 2009
11:39 am
Correction DK there are men who date for marriage. Funny, when I was dating for fun, I ran across a couple of men who stated that they date for marraige, maybe old fashion but……it does make sense, maybe they were at the point in their lives when just getting sex wasn’t the big equation.
Melo
August 28th, 2009
11:39 am
Dan, im not asking u anything.
Iam just clarifying on what u seemed to dispute.One man’s meat is another’s poison, it dont make that “poison”, poison for everybody.Its all subjecvtive.
I just feel smebody took my statements personally.
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
11:40 am
Dream – Im not.. If it were up to men we would never get married.. Whats the use? If we could just live with you, have kids and just be… That would be perfectly fine with us.. The thing is dudes dont need a piece of paper to show how much they love you.. If they love you no matter what no paper says they will die trying to make it right for you.
Dan
August 28th, 2009
11:42 am
@Dream_n
He is not.
The immediate focus of dating for men is sex.
@For Real
Attempting to apply logic to (somma) these ladies is a futile endeavour, like looking for a four-leaf clover my dude.
For Real
August 28th, 2009
11:42 am
“I ran across a couple of men who stated that they date for marraige”
For Real now putting his newly issued MLB decoder ring up against that statement. Translation…..
Saying those words to a chick will get you the draws quicker than saying I can suck a golf ball thru a 42′ waterhose.
Wings () (Loving the Reign and Rain)
August 28th, 2009
11:43 am
@Kym – I live in Cobb and Imma gooooood driver! lol
Chink
August 28th, 2009
11:45 am
For Real – Nope just dont agree with your free sx philosophy. There have to be some guidlines in choosing a partner.
DK ..I don’t agree some people (men and women) know what they want and they can use their smart head (the one above their shoulders) to come to that conclusion.
SexyCool - Flowing slowly.
August 28th, 2009
11:45 am
Dream’n – I agree with DK. In their ideal situation, men date to get sex until one of two things happen.
1. They decide that they are ready for marriage and began to date more seriously.
2. Someone that they are dating casually MAKES them want to be married to HER.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 28th, 2009
11:45 am
I dont casually date…I can “entertain” myself (dancing, drinking, sightseeing etc., sporting events, see a movie, go to a restaurant, etc.). Dating to be dating is expensive, time consuming, and usually a lousy return on the money/time invested. I only go out with someone to evaluate whether I would want that person to be friend/lover/potential spouse first, to have a good time with while still exploring long term possibilities, second. But to date just to date…not me. That is why I am ususally gone after the first or second date…either I punt or the lady does.
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
11:45 am
Grace – Lies Lies Lies I tell you.. Those were prolly dudes that were married and screwed it up sooo bad they want to get married agin to get it right..
anonymousella
August 28th, 2009
11:46 am
@sexycool dating to get to know someone IS “dating for marriage.” dating for fun means you’re dating someone you know won’t work out.
“dating for marriage” means you’re dating men who have met the minimum standards for ‘good husband’ and could work out.
Kym
August 28th, 2009
11:47 am
LMAO @ For Real…one of my best buddies confirmed that. “Men like sex, we do it for sex..we say what we have to say to get sex, because if we said upfront Hey would you like to have sex women wouldn’t respond.”
Grace
August 28th, 2009
11:47 am
LOL DK
For Real
August 28th, 2009
11:47 am
“Attempting to apply logic to (somma) these ladies is a futile endeavour, like looking for a four-leaf clover my dude.” – I feel you but my bs meter forces me to call bs when I see it.
Mo (aka Moeisha)
August 28th, 2009
11:47 am
For Real – LMAO! I ran across dudes that said the same thing Grace mentioned and my take was ‘that means you are dating quite a few women’….cool. Do you playa…I can choose to be involved or not.
SCool – “Everyone that you meet or date is not going to be a match or marriage material for you.” ^5
Grace
August 28th, 2009
11:49 am
5^ anonymousella
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
11:50 am
Ladies weve talked about it before.. Men dont date to get married.. It a light bulb moment that happens and we say dang I really like this chick… and 17,000 light bulb moments later we think we can marry her..
Chink
August 28th, 2009
11:51 am
The thing is dudes dont need a piece of paper to show how much they love you.. If they love you no matter what no paper says they will die trying to make it right for you.
Spoken like a true Divorcee!
I don’t think its a piece of paper its a VOW to your creator and everyone that you going for the long haul. And you know what its ok to make a mistake and the plan didnt work out ..you can always try again. Most guys focus on the money part of marriage not the love part when deciding if its worth it.
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
11:51 am
@THE INFAMOUS DK
Now that statement I agree with… I don’t think the piece of paper defines the marriage… I think I’m like my dad… I don’t think I’ll get married…. The whole “wedding” isn’t something I’ve dreamed of as a smaill girl lol…I think its perfectly “normal and okay” to be with someone for 15 -20 yrs and not be married… It’s the relationship the connection the love, not the paper.
Attempting to apply logic to (somma) these ladies is a futile endeavour, like looking for a four-leaf clover my dude.
Your “logic” may not be someone else’s logic.. and I don’t even think its logic…it’s all opinions….
Chink
August 28th, 2009
11:54 am
anonymousella I like that 11:46.
SexyCool - Flowing slowly.
August 28th, 2009
11:54 am
Anon – “dating for marriage” means you’re dating men who have met the minimum standards for ‘good husband’ and could work out.
But…how do you know all that if you JUST MET this person?
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 28th, 2009
11:55 am
@ DK, Dan, Grace, Dream n… I don’t date for marriage OR sex. Both, to me at least, can or will happen naturally, why try to make either happen? I date to find someone I want to spend time with, to talk to and yes, be lovers with. There was a period after my divorce where I might have subconsciously tried to make up for the dry years at the end of my marriage, but other than that, not sexually driven.
Why pursue it, to me at least, it happens naturally any way. As I have said before, in the ATL sex is easy, love is a little harder (requires a pulse), and friendship is the hardest of all.
For Real
August 28th, 2009
11:55 am
“For Real – Nope just dont agree with your free sx philosophy. There have to be some guidlines in choosing a partner.” – Not sure I understand what you mean by “Free sex” but there should be standard in everything you do especially sex.
Kym: Women do the same thing. I bet Grace does mention the fact she is dating to get married on the first date either. It just ain’t that deep for men. WE LIKE SEX, WE WANT TO HAVE SEX YOU, WE LIKE FOOD, WE WANT TO EAT FOOD, WE LIKE BEER, WE WANT TO DRINK BEER, WE LIKE SPORT, WE WANT TO WATCH SPORTS, WE LIKE QUIET, WE CAN’T GET IT FROM YOU!!!
Compelling
August 28th, 2009
11:59 am
WE LIKE QUIET, WE CAN’T GET IT FROM YOU!!!
LOL @ For Real. That reminds me of Chris Rock’s stand up about how a man wants to just come home to peace and quiet but a woman starts talkin as soon as he gets in the door. HAHA. I haven’t seen a good stand-up routine in a while.
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
11:59 am
I don’t think its a piece of paper its a VOW to your creator and everyone that you going for the long haul.
I halfway agree with this lol… I think its amazing for a man to want to marry.. spend the rest of his life with you, confess this to GOD, friends, family,and associates in a formal way…..but do I think its an absolute necessity.. no. I could very well be happy being with my “soul mate”forever and not marry him. I can still confess my love and undenying commitment to him without the marriage.. idk just my opinion. (maybe i’ll feel different in a couple years)
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
11:59 am
Chink – don’t think its a piece of paper its a VOW to your creator and everyone that you going for the long haul. And you know what its ok to make a mistake and the plan didnt work out ..you can always try again. Most guys focus on the money part of marriage not the love part when deciding if its worth it.
Spoken like a chick whos never been married..
Now why cant my making a vow to you be enough.. Because its simple.. Women understand that getting a man down the aisle has consequences attached to it.. If you hurt me I can and will make you pay..
Melo
August 28th, 2009
11:59 am
“I ran across a couple of men who stated that they date for marraige”
a church chic meets a church dude.
thats the scenario i see that working or old fashioned.
(play cards with ur cards exposed)
THE INFAMOUS DK
August 28th, 2009
12:02 pm
Randy – I agree its gonna happen naturally but at the end of the day if we are taking women out and getting to know them. we ultimately want to know them intimately.
Chink
August 28th, 2009
12:02 pm
I think some people define dating differently.
In the dictionary – An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.
A date refers to an activity two people share together with the intention of getting to know each other better on a potentially romantic level. This differs greatly from ‘hooking up’ which usually describes a casual get together between two people that may or may not be sexual in nature. Two people who are “dating” therefore, have shared several dates together and have made it clear to one another they are interested in more than just a friendship – even if so far the exchanges have been purely friendly in nature. Dating is, essentially, getting to know someone over an extended period of time to determine if a relationship is something worth pursuing.
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
12:03 pm
@ Compelling “WHERE’S MY BIG PIECE OF CHICKEN” LOL
@ Melo– (play cards with ur cards exposed) I love that