In Between Men
Ok, not literally between men. The title refers to the time when a single woman is not in an exclusive relationship but has a couple of suitors on deck who could definitely make a great candidate. I think for a lot of women this time can extend longer than expected or desired. Then she’s left with the dilemma: do I pursue casual hookups in the meantime or wait for Mr. Right (aka Mr. Right around the corner, Mr. Right for you, Mr. Right on TIME).
I don’t think this is an issue for men as much, is it? Do guys ever consider the idea of casual hooking up with one woman a deterrent to having a long-term relationship with another one? Is it necessary to do the meaningless booty calls and random hook ups if you actually want to build something with someone you feel connected to?
What do you do in the time that you are between relationships? Focus energy on finding the long term relationship that you actually desire or hit up the single people buffet until you get full?
What do you think is the best course of action if you really desire a long term relationship?
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501 comments Add your comment
Eiljah ( SexyCool Tell it like it is! )
August 28th, 2009
1:58 pm
That’s consistent common sense statements in regards to the realities of relationships!
For Real
August 28th, 2009
2:01 pm
“but if I do decide to have sex it’s going to be with someone who’s FULL NAME i know” – Hi my name is For Real! Zippppppppppp!!!!
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
2:02 pm
@ Eiljah : And that’s fine lol… again its just me. Some people think giving up sex isn’t everything and others hold it on a higher pedastool….. it’s just difference of opinion.. neither one is right or wrong:)
W8©
August 28th, 2009
2:03 pm
Hey what is more intimate..kissing or sex?
Melo
August 28th, 2009
2:04 pm
Melo currently 23… by the years end i’ii be 24
Dream_n,okay…i was following ur convo with Rell:
i wld say stick it out and be brave about it..dont follow the guys head games about sexx(coz thats what they are..head games)…be consistent.
If u want to know the guy be4 u sleep,i wld say do that,thats a better way to do it…but demonstrate thru ur ways that u are not a slut but a lady.No mixed messages.
Let the chips fall where they may.If hes serious about u,he wil wait,if not,he wasnt meant for u.
Now,that advice may not wrk for someone who is experienced in the game and knows and likes the smell and taste of salt.
Sybil
August 28th, 2009
2:05 pm
Just like men “simp’ for women. Women “simp” for men.
Male simping is the dude that you have spoken of: Purse carrying, Lemonade buying, painting, fixing and so forth. You’re the one that gets to see her be flustered when she runs into THAT LAST DUDE.
Female simping is the chick you don’t take out AT ALL. You’re just smashing her head against the head and let her give you That Becky. She doesn’t ever run into THAT LAST CHICK cause you don’t take her past the bedroom or the couch.
Chink
August 28th, 2009
2:06 pm
By the way I appreciate when a man puts his manhood on a pedestal also…knowing he aint swinging it around up and down the street ..I can respect that.
Just like you should be mindful about what you put in your body outside is just as important…
Lioness
August 28th, 2009
2:06 pm
How does a woman pursue a man for sex?
W8- Depends on the level of attraction.
The Real Rell - so numb!
August 28th, 2009
2:07 pm
@sybil….word…i am glad somebody is feeling me…be real folks!!
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 28th, 2009
2:07 pm
@ W8 re: 1:43 I cosign 100%. By the wya, a lady is cooking for me tonight
does that mean I skipped right past the sex?
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
2:08 pm
@ For Real — lol not literally hahahahhaha
The Real Rell - so numb!
August 28th, 2009
2:08 pm
@w8…kissing to me is
Grace
August 28th, 2009
2:08 pm
Hands down kissing! locking lips, licking lips, swirling tongues. French kissing. so much passion.
Willie Dynamite
August 28th, 2009
2:08 pm
W8 – Kissing.
Sybil – thats bout as straight up translation as you can get.
Grace
August 28th, 2009
2:09 pm
some men are NOT great kisser, more like kissing Kent, hard plastic
Lioness
August 28th, 2009
2:09 pm
Sybil- Female simping is the chick you don’t take out AT ALL. You’re just smashing her head against the head and let her give you That Becky. She doesn’t ever run into THAT LAST CHICK cause you don’t take her past the bedroom or the couch.<– Some women want it that way so that THEY don’t run into their man..
SexyCool - Flowing slowly.
August 28th, 2009
2:10 pm
Elijah – Just giving you glimpses of the view from my window on the world.
Melo
August 28th, 2009
2:10 pm
Randyt, im lucky i locked snatched at an age and time be4 she was jaded.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 28th, 2009
2:10 pm
Kissing…absolutely more. Like Julia Roberts’ friend said in “Pretty Woman”…”never ever kiss a john on the lips”.
Eiljah ( Sybil when can we meet? )
August 28th, 2009
2:10 pm
@ Dream-n We as individuals must always hold on to our belief systems. Always hold on to what you consider valuable to yourself! Keep on keeping on little sista!
@Kym where are you? Are you getting want you need or what these days?
The Real Rell - so numb!
August 28th, 2009
2:11 pm
Some women want it that way so that THEY don’t run into their man
- so whats wrong with my 72hr rule….again i am not the strawberry-kiwi dude….
Lioness
August 28th, 2009
2:13 pm
Can’t stand a man trying to shove his tongue down my throat! Got my mouth confused with my cupcake..
Grace
August 28th, 2009
2:15 pm
LMBO Lioness, how are you girlie?
The Real Rell - so numb!
August 28th, 2009
2:15 pm
@lioness…do you have 72hrs to spare……i can smell it on you
Chink
August 28th, 2009
2:16 pm
so whats wrong with my 72hr rule
I guess that its rule not a “choice”
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
2:17 pm
@ Rell – just because someone doesn’t agrre with your opinion doesn’t mean that they are not being real… it’s called “difference of opinion”
Melo
August 28th, 2009
2:17 pm
Sybil,so have u ever found urself being in that situation: the 11.30 /12.00 midnite bed headboard chic??
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 28th, 2009
2:17 pm
“Got my mouth confused with my cupcake”
LMAO
W8©
August 28th, 2009
2:19 pm
yeah kissing is more intimate to me also…i will serve her the wood before i kiss her
The Real Rell - so numb!
August 28th, 2009
2:19 pm
@dream/chink…yep you ladies are right….
Sybil
August 28th, 2009
2:20 pm
@Melo, When I was younger, by happenstance. These days, should I allow headboard bangage ONLY, it’s by choice.
Melo
August 28th, 2009
2:22 pm
By the way, a lady is cooking for me tonight..the sexx is coming tonite Randyt..carry ur shovels with u!
adult mature ladies give u the come-on diffrntly than their junior compatriots.
Enjoy!
(maaayne,im jealous) 
Lioness
August 28th, 2009
2:22 pm
Grace- Hey Lady! I am doing spectacular
How are you?
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
2:24 pm
@ Rell btw
your comments today were very entertaining and enlightening at the same time…
Lioness
August 28th, 2009
2:25 pm
There is nothing wrong with getting your back blown out but all that banging the head up on the headboard stuff is SOOO not necessary! I kind of think of it as a form of disrespect
You could risk biting your tongue and that ish hurts like heck!!!
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 28th, 2009
2:25 pm
@ Melo re: 2:22
I intend to be a perfect gentleman (with the emphasis on “perfect” not “gentleman”. I have to admit, it would be hard to turn down her advances. Probably play Scrabble or something.
Dream_n
August 28th, 2009
2:26 pm
@ Melo (2:04)– nicely stated
Chink
August 28th, 2009
2:26 pm
W8 I dont think I have ever had sx with kissing …how do you do that????
No foreplay? I might be old fashioned but we go to 1st base first…now kissing down south is something I think is very intimate.
Melo
August 28th, 2009
2:28 pm
When I was younger, by happenstance..thank u coz that fosters and strengthens Dream_n’s position..she young.
If she gets dyckkmatized,she be in trble.Control,yes she will have but its self deception.
Self control to indulge is no control,its more of self deception and addiction.
Better limit the potential for that thogt when she young.
The Real Rell - so numb!
August 28th, 2009
2:30 pm
By the way, a lady is cooking for me tonight
dude…whats funny black women not cooking for a date..hell they not cooking for there SO for a date….where the white women…lol
Lioness
August 28th, 2009
2:30 pm
Chink- Pls say you are joking!! If you aren’t, you’ve been getting f*cked all along
Lioness
August 28th, 2009
2:31 pm
Chink- LOL!! Girl, I just read your comment as sarcasm.. Got ya now..
Nothing wrong with sex w/o kissing cause that means you are REALLY getting it in without all that Meow Meow stuff!
Grace
August 28th, 2009
2:33 pm
Lioness I’m just lovely now that I have some oreo cookies and a glass of milk
Melo
August 28th, 2009
2:33 pm
Probably play Scrabble or something
yes but turn her down?? doubt it..
when u get that look from her when shes next to u,cant help turning akwardly towards her to kiss her..next thing,u gotta raise ur hands and touch some of her parts,breastess to start with, i wld say,otherwise,that wld seem like u not into her,a diss??……
thats when ur junior partner ‘tween the leggs whispers to u,”what about me??” as he raises his bobbing head!
Chink
August 28th, 2009
2:33 pm
Lioness
What happen? W8 said he doesnt kiss …I was just wondering how he can bypass not kissing someone into having sx…I do think oral is intimate
W8©
August 28th, 2009
2:34 pm
@Chink- I think I have only kissed during lovemaking..not sex…and i woulda had to be in love for the love making…hell I am trying to think of the last time I have had my tongue in someones mouth…i know ive been pecking or biting a lip..but an actual tongue kiss…cant remember…thats…sad..but yet funny…lmao
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
August 28th, 2009
2:35 pm
@ Rell …so are you suggesting that if I jump the fence and start seeing a sista, I need to eat before I get there? lol.
Chink
August 28th, 2009
2:36 pm
I am under the impression he never kissed them….not on a date or anything …
W8©
August 28th, 2009
2:36 pm
@Randy…yes!! Eat before you get there
“New Pu$$y can’t cook”– Chris Rock
The Real Rell - so numb!
August 28th, 2009
2:39 pm
dayum w8 i was going to post that….lol….