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Know when to fold them

Have you ever been in a relationship and you had that “this is it” moment when you realized it was over? It could have been after you found a huge difference between the two of you that you were sure you could  not handle. Or perhaps it was their quirky behavior that morphed in to crazy behavior. Sometimes, it’s just the simple realization that you are pretending to be happy, when you are really just happy not to be alone.

When do you decide to end things? What if you don’t have a solid explanation for why you want to check out of the relationship, what do you do?

How do you make sure that you aren’t bailing on dating the person for the wrong reasons? When do you know it’s over?

Being on the other side is frustrating too. You know that the person you are dating is acting strange and distant, but you aren’t sure why. Do you bring it up or wait for the person to break it off? How do you know when to hold them and how do you know when to fold them? (Don’t act like I am the only one that loves that song!)

402 comments Add your comment

W8©

August 27th, 2009
1:05 pm

@Dream_n- You dont have to explain yourself we all know that things are situational..we just comment on what you type…

@Page- Yeah I remember saying that..I think it was a combination of hmm lookin at all of my family and personal pictures and referencing the different things I have done in life.and yall meeting one of my younger brothers…geesh I am only 35..i will be 36 in a few months…now I am going to go shave off my mustache and goatee..so that I can show my babyface…but yeah he caught me off guard with that one…lmao

dream_n

August 27th, 2009
1:07 pm

@ The infamous DK–

I hear ya lol… I dont consider the comment beating me up.. I actually find some comments very funny and some very insightful….

W8©

August 27th, 2009
1:08 pm

@DK- I know that “moment” that you are talking about…a guy will get to a point and be like “phluck it..let the the chips fall where they want” and be out I will just deal with it later

W8©

August 27th, 2009
1:09 pm

“you gotta knowww when to hold them..know when to fold them…know when to walk away…know when to run..”

If I really care about a person I will ask “what is going on?” to that person directly….I dont go consulting everyone else…I need to here what is up from her mouth….thats if I care…If my heart is not to deep in it I will just pull back and let it slip away…..no harm no foul…..

Now what gets me is when people so called “fold them” why do they care what the person is doing after the “folding” I mean if you are truly over someone you dont care if they have a new man or new woman..or what their facebook status update is….even if you still make comments or you act a certain way when that persons name is mentioned or you see them..you really havent “folded”

I remember my ex-wife after we divorced..I would see her in Church and she would turn up her face or say something real extra or would talk about me to other folks…I told her she still had feelings for me…she asked why do I think that…I said cuz I can see you say Hello and keep it moving…whereas you have to do something extra and if you were all the way over everything you would not still be acting out in some form or the other….

When you fold them..fold them and dont look back.

Chink

August 27th, 2009
1:10 pm

DK – it better be different than dating! I understand the variables in marriage…that’s probably why I havent been married already. But just because I haven’t been married doesn’t mean I don’t know how big of a deal it is. Marriage can be a beautiful thing though lets not forget there is a bright side.

Page1908

August 27th, 2009
1:11 pm

Lmao W8- yeah i know. u do have a babyface (sweetface) lol. *pinching cheeks*

W8©

August 27th, 2009
1:20 pm

I am really going to thru this cell phone onto 285

W8©

August 27th, 2009
1:21 pm

Hey does anyone know what channel Vick will be playing on tonight?if Check ESPN, NFL Network, Fox and ABC….hellllppppp mee!!!!

W8©

August 27th, 2009
1:22 pm

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 27th, 2009
1:26 pm

W8- What kind of trouble are you having with your phone?

Grace

August 27th, 2009
1:30 pm

5^ DK @12:52 you’re so on point there.

Compelling

August 27th, 2009
1:31 pm

Singing…”So I think we need to let it go…looks like another love TKO” I’ve been listening to oldies all day.

W8©

August 27th, 2009
1:32 pm

@Kimmie- I have to just add more memory to it..this darn hourglass just loves to pop up and I am tired of doing hard resets

W8©

August 27th, 2009
1:32 pm

@Compelling- Thats a good song…just let it go…….

Dream_n

August 27th, 2009
1:35 pm

@ Page1908– I’ll be 24 at this year’s end…

Mo (aka Moeisha)

August 27th, 2009
1:44 pm

W8 – latest Ive heard the game isnt being televised….Sorry Sap Suckas

Dan

August 27th, 2009
1:45 pm

@W8

I think it’s a misnomer to say “don’t look back”. You don’t look back with animosity; you don’t look back with regret; you don’t look back longing (for a second chance, etc.).

But looking back at a relationship and the person you shared time with is not something to be disdained. Esp. if the reflection yields positive results in self improvement.

Melo

August 27th, 2009
1:47 pm

Dream_n,24 yrs old??

u stil very young,get out and quick so that u can repair ur lyfe.
Make sure u take precautions so that u dont end up in a duffel bag..but there is no reason to stay on with that misery.

W8©

August 27th, 2009
1:48 pm

@Dan- when i said let it go I mean…at the point you are out of it..be out of it..let the emotional go..one would be stupid if they didnt learn from the experience..whether it be good or bad

SexyCool - Back to being Water.

August 27th, 2009
1:49 pm

Page – I saw that 1203p. You stoopid. ~LMAO~

Kym

August 27th, 2009
1:50 pm

Hey does anyone know what channel Vick will be playing on tonight?if Check ESPN, NFL Network, Fox and ABC….hellllppppp mee!!!!<<<<Not a network game..now if you live in Philly it will be on the local ABC channel there.

Kym

August 27th, 2009
1:53 pm

You can listen to the game online if you have a field pass too.

Melo

August 27th, 2009
2:03 pm

Oh its time for football??

I really like it when Donovan Mcnab used to play for the Tampa Bay Bucs :lol: :mrgreen:

Dream_n

August 27th, 2009
2:07 pm

Footbal Season:)
New QB… New Outlook
Go BEARS!!!

AmazonRed™ - is a flight risk!

August 27th, 2009
2:10 pm

@ Amazon R– So how long is the “down period” to last until you do say enough is enough??? Do you stay unhappy for 5 10 or even 20 yrs b4 its okay to be happy…. just askin?

Dreams – What does “okay to be happy” mean? Does happiness only come from other people or something?

Kym-Dick LeBeau Class of 2010

August 27th, 2009
2:12 pm

@Melo Huh???

AmazonRed™ - is a flight risk!

August 27th, 2009
2:17 pm

And to add Ared, in my current marriage, im more inclined to want to wrk things out if smething is bugging me coz i know this is what i really want.

melo – Thanks for answering by the way. I like what you said here.

I mean, I know one of the reasons I’m not married is because I can’t marry just for any old reason like some people do. It’s such a huge step. I guess, I’m just saying, I wouldn’t let any outside pressures force me into doing something I know I wasn’t feeling in my heart.

Melo

August 27th, 2009
2:20 pm

@Melo Huh???

I mean, Kym, if Tony Dungie had stayed in Miami, u think Mcnab wld still be there??

:lol: :mrgreen:

Angie

August 27th, 2009
2:22 pm

morning guys!

@Prof
we can share MV7. i don’t mind. :o )

@Page
david can’t help you with your costume, but i say go with Gypsy. very sexy!

Melo

August 27th, 2009
2:23 pm

wouldn’t let any outside pressures force me into doing something I know I wasn’t feeling in my heart

thats a really good thing.
Stick to ur guns and do what makes u happy, i think thats the key.

Kym-Dick LeBeau Class of 2010

August 27th, 2009
2:23 pm

Wisey do you think we could insert an iggy button or a bs beeper..that way when folks say off the wall shiggdy we can call foul and delete them. Melo I am in no mood to entertain your jackazz behavior today.

SexyCool - Back to being Water.

August 27th, 2009
2:25 pm

At this point in my life, as much as I would like to be in a solid relationship and be married, it scares the sht out of me.

Melo

August 27th, 2009
2:29 pm

it scares the sht out of me.

why darling??

Mo (aka Moeisha)

August 27th, 2009
2:32 pm

SCool – I feel the same way at your 2:25

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 27th, 2009
2:35 pm

SCool – Means you don’t take it lightly. That’s a good thing, I think. I take it serious too.

Professor__k? Come direct or don't come at all!

August 27th, 2009
2:41 pm

Stepping in before I take a nap.

@Rell ***How does this same logic apply to those that say “I’m okay with being single”?**
Even the analogy you gave about work has never applied to me. Sure I have had a few jobs that I did not care for. I left those jobs and moved on. I am happy with who I am and love my life whether I am rolling solo or as a duet. So at the end of the day I am beyond okay with being single because I am happy and my life is full. Will I settle in a relationship? Hell no! (Sorry it took so long to respond).

@Angie…thanks for sharing MV7 with me!

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 27th, 2009
2:44 pm

Chink – Baby doll I know there are beautiful marriages out there.. I have friends that are happily married that are so disgusting they will feel on each other in front of you.. These couple are the only reason I still believe in marriage.. the only reason I even discuss it because I see that you can be happily married. I just be darned if I end up like Al Bundy..

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 27th, 2009
2:46 pm

SCOOL – I completely feel you on that 2:25 quote..

I got the ish wrong once and honestly dont want to be a 2 or 3 time loser..

Tazzee

August 27th, 2009
2:46 pm

For Real Not sure if any of the ladies answered your question – but in my opinion, being ok with being single but not being ok while in a relationship is kind of like the ‘I can do bad all by myself’ theory.

Melo

August 27th, 2009
2:46 pm

SCool – I feel the same way at your 2:25

are u still hurting Mo (aka Moeisha)????

AmazonRed™ - is a flight risk!

August 27th, 2009
2:47 pm

I got the ish wrong once and honestly dont want to be a 2 or 3 time loser..

:lol:

AmazonRed™ - is a flight risk!

August 27th, 2009
2:50 pm

Tazzee – I answered. I answered with I think it’s not logical thinking!

Raqi

August 27th, 2009
2:51 pm

One negative to marriage is somebody talking when you are trying to sleep.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

August 27th, 2009
2:51 pm

Melo – LOL! No not hurting. I never thought I would be a divorcee and I just want to get it right, have my forever with one man, not broken up into sagas. The starting over thing is a beast.

Infamous – once again, agreed

Page1908

August 27th, 2009
2:51 pm

can anyone score me some tickets to see my Chargers play the Falcons?

Dan

August 27th, 2009
2:53 pm

@Tazz

Incidently TP next movie title…..”I can do bad all by myself”

Really?

SexyCool - Back to being Water.

August 27th, 2009
2:54 pm

Kimmie is on the right track with it. Marriage is freaking serious. So many people enter into it like it’s fun and games. It’s LIFE CHANGING. And I really like the life I have right now.

But more than that, what Andy wanted to talk about earlier. I really want to REALLY LOVE SOMEONE AND HAVE THEM REALLY LOVE ME BACK – all the way. Without games and bvllsht and trying to wonder if he’s going to have my back and is he cheating and will he leave when the going gets tough or something shiny catches his eye.

I just want to love a man with all of my heart that is made to love him in a way that a woman should love a man and give me that back. I know that men and women love different. It’s okay to love different, just love me all the way. And have them love me for me, flaws and all, not for who they think I should be or want me to be or are pushing me to be. JUST ME!!!!

And making changes to the really cool life that I have right now to take a risk on that is ABSOLUTELY FREAKING TERRIFYING.

Raqi

August 27th, 2009
2:54 pm

Dan I think that was name of his first or second stage show. Now he is making it into a movie.

Leggs

August 27th, 2009
2:55 pm

Hello everyone!

Just got back from volunteering at The Samaritan House. A place where they feed the homeless. We cooked, took their orders (the experience of a real restaurant (Cafe 458)), did the dishes. Even swept and mopped the facility when we were done. Well, I didn’t mop. It was quite interesting and extremely rewarding.

Scared to ask, but what’s the topic?

Tazzee

August 27th, 2009
2:55 pm

it scares the sht out of me.

Me too SexyCool – it’s like I’m on Cloud 999 and then I start to hyperventilate at the thought that I’m going to be someone’s wife! Then I get all warm on the inside because my fiance’ is so wonderful.

W8 It’s being re-aired on NFLN tonight at 11pm.