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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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I’m Focused, Man!

On any given weekend in Atlanta, there are a myriad of events going on in the city. At these events, it’s very possible you will see really attractive people, some being single. This has its pros and cons. If you are in a newly formed “exclusive” relationship with someone, it’s hard to turn down the phone numbers and attention.

Why does it seem as if you become the hottest commodity on the single’s market just as you have started a new romance? One month you can go to a store opening, arts festival, film screening completely unattached and on the prowl and nobody says anything remotely flirtatious. Then weeks later, after you and your honey have decided to make a go of it, all of a sudden you are a babe magnet. What gives?

This situation gets worse when you are the type that has dating ADD!  You already have to struggle not to lose interest too easily with potential dates.  When everyone you meet thinks that you are such hot stuff, you probably have to remind yourself of those dating ruts and dry spells that you just experienced.

Do you ever find it difficult to focus on a solid connection that you have with someone?  Is our attractive and active dating scene part of why a lot of us can’t hold each other’s interest? If we are constantly slipping through the revolving doors of dating, does this mean we are perpetually avoiding relationships?

How do you focus on the one individual that is standing out in your dating prospects? Is it hard to resist the urge of “waiting for a better option” or are we wasting time and money?

234 comments Add your comment

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
9:02 am

I touched on this subject yesterday. There will always be somebody that is more and if you continue to wait in the wings waiting to see if something “more” will come along you will be waiting from now until the day you die. There will always be more that’s why we have to decide on who it is we want to be with and focus on that relationship. I will be lying if I said something else will never catch your eye. We are human beings and it’s our nature to be forever grasping at the wind. But also being human we are to be disciplined.

One of the worst traits to possess is instability. A person that can’t settled on one thing and just keep going from person to person because that new person smiled at you or gave you some attention is a person that…well there is a name for a person like that and hopping is part of it.

The reason that you feel you all of sudden become the “hottie” after the onset of a new romance is probably because of the euphoria that you put out at the time. I do believe when you are truly happy, as in a relationship it shows. Your eyes are brighter, your expression is pleasant and your smile is genuine.

It’s all about making the choice to be and stay

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 26th, 2009
9:18 am

Good Morning WD, Raqi, All

It is a beautiful day in the ATL. (Boy PMS is a biotch, glad it is short lived, LOL).

\On topic …@ Raqi re:

“One of the worst traits to possess is instability. A person that can’t settled on one thing and just keep going from person to person because that new person smiled at you or gave you some attention is a person that…well there is a name for a person like that and hopping is part of it.”

This is me more than I care to admit. As I have said before, the available, attractive, intersting women are so abundant here in the ATL that it is like a smorgasbord always. How does one choose to settle and get to know ONE person? Couple that with a little bit of fear of making a mistake, a bad partner choice, fear of getting hurt again, missing out on “the best”, and you have a group of people who never land long enough to get it right.

Raqi, I look in the mirror every day and ask these same questions. Yesterday I was ‘biotching’ about missing the perfect woman. What I was not saying was that to get with this “perfect woman”, I had to ignore advances from other “almost perfects” (like an invitation to cook dinner with a lady that I’ve been out with several times who is really nice and comfortable to be with.

I guess I’m just a “whoore”…(as the guy said in “Sweet Home Alabama”, “honey just ’cause I talk slow, don’t mean I’m stupid”). I know my flaws too well actually..

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 26th, 2009
9:20 am

@ Raqi by the way, the chocolate does help ;-)

M. (pronounced M dot)

August 26th, 2009
9:22 am

@How do you focus on the one individual that is standing out in your dating prospects? Is it hard to resist the urge of “waiting for a better option” or are we wasting time and money?

Funny Wise, me and my female friend had this conversation about finding someone you can focus on and my problem is everybody Ive been meeting lives out of town and it seems like I cant focus on anyone here.

To answer your question, I try to focus on that individual that is standing out by trying to not let it get stale or routine. I try to keep it exciting and random as long as possible. I dont like to plan and do not want any type of routine. I also try to mentally keep my space and make it like its still all fresh before she is leaving stuff at my place and it gets boring and routine. The key is to try to keep it fresh and new.

Rocky

August 26th, 2009
9:23 am

I have a ?? for you… I have been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years. It’s been a good, respectful, loving relationship. 3 weeks ago I had abdominal surgery. Yesterday I see my surgeon & along with many other questions I ask him if it’s OK to have sex. He says it’s OK as long as you take it easy, do not hurt, etc…. My GF & I are excited to try what had beed a no no for weks. We are into it, making love, telling eachother how great it is… Then she breaks out “There’s been another man in this bed”… Trying to stay focused I ask her if it’s been in her new house (we have been dating since before she moved in). SHe says no.. Then she proceeds to tlee me how her slut GF & her met a guy at a bar, he was so drunk they did not want him to get arrested, so they take the guy to my GF’s house to sleep it off in her bed… She’s telling me this while I am trying to make a cumback after 3 weeks… I lose interest in making love. Roll over & she’s MAD at ME!!!

Is this a sign that it’s time to move on?? I am sicker to my stomach than recovering from surgery…

Anyway.. Thoughts, please

Wings () (Beyond the Pretty)

August 26th, 2009
9:24 am

Salvē! Bloggers

Bottom line people who not ready to be in a committed relationship are always open to the prospect of dating an meeting others………as they should. Your not ready until your ready…………. and hopefully by now, you are astute enough to recognize that in yourself and others. A person who is ready to commit, should be laser focused.

As far as the dating scene in the A, well it’s a daters paradise…………….so much to choose from,(not all quality ) but again, I don’t care what’s out there, when a person is ready to choose, they will and frankly, I wouldn’t want some one that’s not ready.

Make it A Great Day!

Wings () (Beyond the Pretty)

August 26th, 2009
9:25 am

@Randy – Women have periods(.) and men have question marks(?) lol

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
9:26 am

Morning lovelies,

Why does it seem as if you become the hottest commodity on the single’s market just as you have started a new romance?

I don’t KNOW but it’s rather annoying! Usually, I’ll meet guys in twos and with the natural progression of things one will fall off quicker than the other. But in the meantime it seems like every other guy in the room is now interested too. I don’t think I’m at my best in juggling, so I’d rather just focus on one. But which one is the right one?

In the past, I’d think all is fair and love and war, and if I wasn’t exclusive with one, I’d entertain other offers until exclusivity is established. But the fact of the matter is, attention on one person means you can’t pay attention with the other. So now I’m more into focusing on one and one only.

Professor...ahhh

August 26th, 2009
9:26 am

Wow! This used to be a big problem for me. I would try so hard to stay focus and I think I am naturally somewhat of a flirt. Please don’t get me wrong I have always been flirty and walked with a “twist” even as a child so it is who I am. Well of course when I was in a new relationship I would always get hit on and flirt back, and BAM we have a problem.

At this point in my life I know what and whom I want so it is not a big deal. For some reason “Next Lifetime” by Ms. Badu plays in my head whenever I think about this topic…

Now what am I supposed to do
When I want you in my world
How can I want you for myself
When I’m already someone’s girl

Wings () (Beyond the Pretty)

August 26th, 2009
9:29 am

GM Professor !

Love that song! When it rains, it pours……………..

Professor...ahhh

August 26th, 2009
9:33 am

@PW that was my problem when it was hard for me to stay focus I really was not ready for a relationship…

@ARed You gave a quote from Judy Blume a while back…something like “After you have loved like we have…how can we go back to holding hands?” I was trying to tell one of my friends and I know I messed it up. Please post it again if you remember what I am talking about…pretty please w/ a happy face.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
9:34 am

So RandyT your mission or purpose in life is just to have sex with all women you find attractive? I must say of all the men that I read on here (other than abc) you are the one that I would have thought was not that easy and actually wanted more out of relationships.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
9:34 am

LOL @ “Rocky”.

Professor...ahhh

August 26th, 2009
9:37 am

Hey Wings…believe me I could write a book about some of this stuff. I have felt like that song many of times…I guess that is how I know you can fall for more than one person if you are not careful.

Wings () (Beyond the Pretty)

August 26th, 2009
9:37 am

@Professor – That why, I’ve tried to be honest in my dealings to say………I’m not ready, it’s not the dating or the fact that they are not focused that is the problem it’s their lack of integrity or maturity messing up the game.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
9:41 am

M dot I get what you are saying but you can’t live on that high at all times if that’s what you are looking for. Life is routine and we must go thru it. But one of the biggest mistakes made is when people jump ship during the low tides.

Wings () (Beyond the Pretty)

August 26th, 2009
9:41 am

@Prof – my take on loving two people is bibicaly based and that is “you can not serve two masters, you will love one and hate the other”. All that equals drama……………not saying that I have not been their …………….but I didn’t stay their either ……..too much drama.

Wings () (Beyond the Pretty)

August 26th, 2009
9:42 am

there not their

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
9:44 am

Professor – I was paraphrasing at the time, as I didn’t remember the exact quote. I believe it was “once you’ve had sex, you can’t go back to holding hands.” But I quoted it as “Once you have loved that deeply, you can’t go back to holding hands.”

In any case, you pretty much got it right. Sorry you are feeling that way right now.

Kym-Accomplish much by trying less

August 26th, 2009
9:46 am

Good Morning All,

Do you ever find it difficult to focus on a solid connection that you have with someone? Hmmm yes, but not for the need to seek another kind of green(John Mayer reference)because life is what gets in the way while I am making other plans. Doesn’t mean that I nor they are incapable of developing relationships. Just means that the timing is not right at this point.
Is our attractive and active dating scene part of why a lot of us can’t hold each other’s interest? Naww, well I will say not for those I know. I know a few guys who are quite honest about their activities. They are not trying to settle down. I know a few women who are focused on career and dating is just fun. They are not trying to be wifey. So I think this really depends on the person.

If we are constantly slipping through the revolving doors of dating, does this mean we are perpetually avoiding relationships?

No, everyone a person dates may not be the right person for them to form some type of bonding relationship. Doesn’t mean you stop dating. Yes I know, sometimes people look for things to discount a person because they themselves are not ready to get to serious. It is why I respect For Real’s motto of telling the person up front.

What they said–”I am not interested in anything more than going out and keeping company and having a nice time.”

What they Heard–”BLAH BLAH BLAH If I give it to you just right I can make you change all of that.”

This is where the problems and the disconnect come to play. Well why you dating?..well duh..because as I said the first hundred times I like to go out have fun and keep company..what did you hear?

East Point's Own

August 26th, 2009
9:47 am

I have no desire to accept new #’s or get attention from other women when I am in a relationship. It is not hard at all for me to ignore the attention gained after a new relationship begins. The problem in the beginning of a relationship is turning down the women who I was dealing with when I was single…especially when they are already comfortable doing things with you that the new person is not yet ready to do… LoL

http://hispointofview.com

Compelling

August 26th, 2009
9:53 am

“But one of the biggest mistakes made is when people jump ship during the low tides.”

@ Raqi- Truer words have never been spoken. I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years now and everything has not always been sunshine and rainbows. I’m convinced that anything worth having takes hard work and I believe that what I have now can’t compare to anything that anyone would be willing to offer me. If you aren’t ready for such a serious undertaking then you should wait until you are, but always be up front with the other person.

Professor...ahhh

August 26th, 2009
9:56 am

@ARed…thanks a bunch! I am good in fact I am two steps from sitting on the bench and taking a timeout.

@Pretty Wings…In my 20s this was a big problem for me. I will say this I have always viewed my body as a “temple for the Lord” so I was not intimate with everyone. However totally understand how you can have a connection with more than one person if you are not careful (things always start out innocent for the most part). I say that because if you look at your past relationships you probably had two or more that were stellar. Now imagine getting to know them both at the same time.

I do know it is difficult for some people to stay focus. At this point in my life I do not have that problem, but I do understand it completely. My question is should you tell the other person? I guess that would probably lead to trust issues etc., but I am curious to how to handle that problem. Back in the day I never mentioned it to my boyfriend and I would always let guys know that I was in a relationship, but it was difficult to me.

…I really believe some guys (ladies) still have this problem and it is never addressed.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 26th, 2009
9:59 am

Raqi…not sex at all. I can think of maybe twice that was my goal, and as odd as it sound, those times never came to that. The sex, if it happens, was almost never my goal. I have no need or desire to run up numbers, never have, never will. Actually that is seldom front and center on my mind when starting to date someone.

For me, it is always about finding the one I want to stay with for a lifetime. Where I have a problem is even asking some ladies out a second or third time just because there “might” be someone better. I just have a hard time committing because of the fears I indicated above. Raqi, I have not pursued so many opportunities with interesting and attractive women that you would be amazed. Sometimes I go through periods where I just will not ask anyone out because I am torn between so many opportunities. I can’t count the number of times I have gotten dressed up on a Saturday night, and then said “screw it” and sat back down on the couch.

You basically indicated in your first post that people need to “settle” or they will be looking all of their lives and never really fulfilling that deeper need for a truly meaningful monogamous relationship. That has been me. There is a reason why I have been single for ten years. When things start getting too close, I suspect I sabotage it…maybe out of some deep seated fear. Hellz I don’t know.

How is that for honesty.

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
10:03 am

Three Words Daily – Encourage someone else.

Professor...ahhh

August 26th, 2009
10:03 am

@Kym…people hear what they want to hear.

Leggs

August 26th, 2009
10:03 am

@Rocky, you have to be kidding. Who the heck says all that during the act! How insensitive of her. She knew about the surgery, she knew how eager you were to please and be pleased. What a cad to bring all that up at that moment. If she’s that clueless with regard to your feelings, then that’s a red flag for you. Then again, hell I don’t know, I’m stumped!

The Real Rell - cashing in wolf tickets!

August 26th, 2009
10:04 am

“you can not serve two masters, you will love one and hate the other”

But one of the biggest mistakes made is when people jump ship during
the low tides.”

“Once you have loved that deeply, you can’t go back to holding hands.”

- ALL GOOD – I AM FEELING THE LADIES TODAY – WOW

The Real Rell - cashing in wolf tickets!

August 26th, 2009
10:09 am

@rocky – your girl just had a threesome…sorry to say mayne

Then she proceeds to tlee me how her slut GF & her met a guy at a bar, he was so drunk they did not want him to get arrested, so they take the guy to my GF’s house to sleep it off in her bed…

she had a couple of weeks to think about how she was going to tell you…you no longer feels any guilt – cause in her mind now..she was just helping out her “slut” roomate…lol and some random drunk guy…i mean does the slut roomate not have a bed….lol….i know you dont believe that do you player?

Professor...ahhh

August 26th, 2009
10:10 am

@Rocky I really feel you on this one. That is some crazy mess right there. I am not sure if this was your first surgery or if you are a wimp like me, but there are a lot of emotions that goes along with it.

I am having surgery next week and I am trying my best to stay positive and embrace it, but I cannot imagine someone doing that to me after all of this…if that happened I would have a red flag moment.

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
10:15 am

I don’t have an issue staying focused on a “solid connection”. My quandry is usually knowing when the connection is solid from both sides. I like being on the same page of the same book.

Kym-Accomplish much by trying less

August 26th, 2009
10:20 am

You know car owners are funny people. 250,000 for a Camero..really Papa John? Really?

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
10:22 am

Randy I guess misunderstood you first comment.

The thing is life is a gamble. If we all held out on everything in life because something better just “might” come along then we would all not be living. That’s a bad way to live not doing and experiencing all in the name of waiting to see. Choose what you want and settle for that. Yes I said settle again. Stay with it. But put your focus and energy into it rather than standing there holding your hands in fear of something more might come by that you may miss out on.

There will always be that more there. No one is perfect. Just be realistic about what you are willing to live with and to live without, and go with that. And the thing is with most people that “more better” is usually wrongfully presented in a pretty face. It has been proven time and time again that pretty does not mean better or more.

Imagine what would have happened I had not chosen my husband nor the other guy for fear of them both being better for me than the other. I made my choice and I am happy with it. I don’t sit around thinking what if I had chosen Randy, his name was Randy also LOL. Would this, that or the other be better? I love my life and I love my husband. I wouldn’t dare give up what I have for what could have possibly been. Outside of his moodiness he is all perfect to and for me. LOL Who knows what Randy’s fault may be. They just might be worse than living with a moody man. Or not.

Life is a gamble.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 26th, 2009
10:27 am

@ Sexy Cool re: “My quandry is usually knowing when the connection is solid from both sides. I like being on the same page of the same book”.

I sure have read the tea leaves wrong on this one a few times. The two times I have gone “all in” since my marriage crashed and burned when their ex husbands suddenly developed a renewed interest right at Christmas (the whole “we should be a family again for the children” thing). Maybe that is why I am so afraid to “settle”.

Side note…all four of my major relationships have ended in December, three during the week of Christmas, and one on Christmas Day. I really hate December. There is a bigger reason than just the money for just cutting off relationships from Thanksgiving through Valentines Day…at least for me.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 26th, 2009
10:30 am

After having said all that…life is great most of the time. Just reflecting, ;-)

Professor...ahhh

August 26th, 2009
10:33 am

@Kym I love cars! 250K is a lot, but I know he is happy to have his car.

Page1908

August 26th, 2009
10:33 am

Randy I thought people got together during the Fall so they could be with someone during the Holiday season (Novemeber through February)? Not split up during that time? Maybe I have it confused? *shrugs*

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 26th, 2009
10:37 am

Hey Page…I have read even on this blog that men seem to just disappear from Thanksgiving to Valentines Day (cheap ba$tard$, lol). I don’t know. I know for me things get too complicated because I want to be with my family and an SO wants to be with her family and both seem to get POed if the other has any contact with their ex, even if it is totally platonic. Just too big of a pain sometimes ;-)

Professor...ahhh

August 26th, 2009
10:38 am

Off topic-

The passing of Senator Ted Kennedy saddens me, and I hope his dream of health care reform becomes a reality

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
10:40 am

I am sitting here thinking and laughing to myself about the time we were in Florida and my husband was talking to these two women while I went to see what my sons were doing. He has never hidden the fact that he is quite fond of the fuller bosoms. He is a self proclaimed breastologist. LOL I am average or just okay on his scale.

Well the women that had made his company were both fuller florences and had them framed quite explicitly. When I came back he was talking to them and I bet his eyes nearly bled trying to stay “focused” and not look down toward their racks while I was standing there. I laughed within myself when they walked away because he knows that I know that he is fond of what they have that I don’t.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 26th, 2009
10:48 am

Laughing about your story about “breasties”. I have a bad habit of getting involved with intelligent, PERCEPTIVE women. Unfortunately I do have a bad habit of noticing the “scenery”. A group of women could be walking toward me if I was with my ex-wife, and she would know before I did, which one I would focus on. I would try to sneak a peek but first kind of glance over at my ex to see if I could get away with looking. Hellz no, she would already be giving me “that look”. Busted before I even had a chance to do anything…so didn’t even get the chance to enjoy the sin, lol.

Dan

August 26th, 2009
10:53 am

@Randy

I’m sorry, I don’t get trying not to look.

They’re there, uncovered, on display and she knew that when she left the house. It’s my assumption that she wants to invite attention, so as a gentleman, it is my pleasure to comply. Homer Simpson drool……

Compelling

August 26th, 2009
10:57 am

LOL @ Randy and Dan. I guess I don’t mind if my man looks as long as it’s not disrespectful. I have an uncle who’ll lean outta his car window or stop talking mid-sentence to ogle women that walk by, all in fron of his woman. That’s disrespectful. But I don’t have a problem if my guy looks at women in passing I mean he’s not blind, it’s just irrational to think that you won’t find others attractive because you’re in a relationship.

Page1908

August 26th, 2009
10:59 am

Oh, ok Randy. I thought it was the other way around: people are single in the spring and summer, then get together in the fall and winter. oh well.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
10:59 am

but first kind of glance over at my ex to see if I could get away with looking

RandyT Imma let you in on a little secret, that’s where you made your mistake. Never look to see if we are looking to catch you. That’s an admitted guilt even before you commit the act. LOL

Don’t be disrespectful and just stare and gawk while in our presence but don’t check us first either.

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
11:01 am

Nothing wrong with noticing the scenery, even commenting on it, in a respectful way. I know I’m not the only gorgeous chick on the planet. ~giggling~

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
11:03 am

But I don’t have a problem if my guy looks at women in passing I mean he’s not blind

Compelling I was going along with you but you lost me right there. Turning your head to look is an offense punishable by the woman’s law. No he is not blind but don’t disrespect me.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
11:05 am

Morning great blog people!

Yes, what would appear as fabulous always comes around when you got somebody. That’s the story of my life and I actually jumped ship once. Big mistake, but maybe not because I believe things happen for a reason and what’s for you is for you. But the relationship I’m in now is no exception. I went on a dating hiatus for a year and a half before I met SO. A few months in, dudes started coming out of the woodwork and still are and we are going on 2 years dating now! I mean, not only do I have guys approach me, I am seeing all these hunks that actually work & live among me that were no where to be found before. Would I risk what I have now to pursue any of them? H to the NAW! What glitters is definitely NOT always GOLD!

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
11:06 am

Rocky Did you withhold some info or did your girl? Something is missing from that story. Aside from that, bad timing to say the least.

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 26th, 2009
11:08 am

What up..

Dudes are more attractive to females when they got that other woman scent on em.. That other woman scent allows them to be more relaxed because they are not pressed about meeting the new chick in the spot.. In other words the ladies can smelllllll what he has cooking..

Women are always attractive to men single or hooked, hogtied and collared..

You know people are always facinated with what they cant have.. Its actually easy to look like you got somebody when you dont have anyone.. Follow these simple rules. Women – Stop looking desperate and Dudes – Stop looking thirsty.. Walk with confidence, hold your head high with your shoulders back..

Compelling

August 26th, 2009
11:08 am

@ Raqi- Oh no….lol. I didn’t mean like he can turn his head…I meant as in they’re “passing” us by and he notices them. I would never allow something like that, hahaha.

Dan

August 26th, 2009
11:09 am

@Compelling

Mid sentence, mid step, mid thought…. T & A distracts my waking mind. And I’m never shy about it

M'

August 26th, 2009
11:14 am

Personally, I think that there are ppl who intentionally pursue another person simply b/c that individual is or appears to be involved with someone else…it’s like “yeah, when I met him/her, he/she was with someone else until I hooked in and broke that up”, etc…there are some ppl whose egos seem to thrive off of that sort of pursuit…and then too, there are occasions when pheromones just exude attraction energy…hehehe…and the feast is on…peace.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
11:14 am

There are a lot of attractive people in the world and in the ATL. But I had to meet my SO just in passing at Publix. I took myself out of the “game” quite a long time ago. I have no desire to jump back in, so I’m not tempted in the least. Now I do love eye candy, but I would never disrespect SO, nor had he me. But we both understand there are other attractive people in the world! There always will be.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
11:16 am

Compelling my brother says (I love having a brother I can talk to LOL), he says the is over for a long as the eyes can shift. He said you catch sight in the peripheral view and look only with the eyes, never turning the head.

Knowing that I have purposely looked a guy I was with straight in the eyes while talking if I noticed that he eyed something worth him looking at. I would do it just to be bad. LOL

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
11:18 am

Ms. Main where is Paul Harvey when you need him? I was wondering all the time they had been sleeping in the bed what would make someone wait until they are engaging in the act to say something like that.

Yeah, where’s the rest of the story.

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
11:20 am

Raqi Ms. Main where is Paul Harvey when you need him

I know right

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
11:20 am

the is over a long What?

The look is only for as long…

Tazzee

August 26th, 2009
11:21 am

Morning folks!

The only time I had dating ADD was when I was exclusive with a guy I really wasn’t into. When I’m contemplating being exclusive with someone, I check to see how I admire the opposite sex. There’s the look to enjoy the scenery and there’s the look coupled with thinking about the possibilities. Until I’m no longer doing the latter – I won’t get exclusive.

I still check out eye candy and so does my guy, but we’re respectful with it. Although he had me watching a movie one night and Common pops up on the screen. The first thing I said was ‘Was that Common?!?!?!’ LOL, I had to warn him, for me, movies with Idris and Common are better watched with the girls, LOL.

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
11:21 am

I have read even on this blog that men seem to just disappear from Thanksgiving to Valentines Day (cheap ba$tard$, lol).

Page – The above has been my experience. Especiall since my bday falls w/in the holiday season. My break ups with guys in the fall. Besides, they usually want a woman with more padding to snuggle up with! :lol:

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 26th, 2009
11:23 am

Hey Dan … not a problem…when I am alone, but when I am with some one, I’ve got to at least make a token effort to keep focussed on who I am with. Just tough. Shanti Feldhahn wrote in her book “For Women Only…the secret lives of men” that “a man cannot NOT notice an attractive woman”. If he is walking through Home Depot and a pretty, stacked lady walks in, he will always know in the back of his mind that she is in there somewhere. He may not, maybe even probably not, seek her out, but he will know she is in there somewhere and he adds her to that mental rolodex most men carry in their minds.

The Real Rell - cashing in wolf tickets!

August 26th, 2009
11:27 am

act to say something like that.

@raqi guilt…ol rocky was prolly laying in the former wet spot or she was afraid he would smell that budussy smell left in the dirty sheets….lol…i cant believe he rolled over…i would have rolled awt….da hell…or he could have just got some head then bounced…skeeted in her thoat..lol

Page1908

August 26th, 2009
11:28 am

LOL ARed. I have never heard of this concept until I moved to Atlanta. Dang, I need to find someone so I can be “boo’d” up with this winter. lol

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
11:28 am

What I don’t get are the guys that try to seem all into you when they think/know that you have focused on someone else. Especially when before they treated you rather casually.

What’s up with that?

Foots

August 26th, 2009
11:32 am

I don’t have a problem focusing, I just appreciate what I have with the one I’m with. I may notice attractiveness, but would I leave what I have (and am generally happy with) for that which I don’t know? Not a chance.

On the “is he looking” thing, I always know if my man likes what he sees in a particular woman in the vicinity. He says something about her. That way, we can both look at her. LOL! I used to do that myself, so I know that game. We were out last Friday and a very attractive woman sat on the other side of me at the bar. I loved what she had on. He mentioned that every guy that sat down next to her seemed to be striking out. I told him that only one man in the whole place was her type (other than him) and he asked me to point him out. I showed him my number 1 choice, which is the guy I noticed the second he walked through the door, because he was the only guy in there that I would have given my number to if I had not been attached. Lo, and behold, about 30 minutes later, that same guy makes his way over to the bar and starts chatting up this chick and she bites. My SO was amazed that I called it like that. But anyway, we both got to look for an extended period of time since they were now both in the same place. :LOL:

Dan

August 26th, 2009
11:33 am

@Randy

That’s my issue. If I’m with a woman and another beautiful woman walks in, save us both the trouble and let me look without the hassle. We both know I see her, why strain my eyeballs to look covertly? It’s like making me lie to you. I don’t understand the impetus.

If my lady wants to check out another dude, go head! I have noooo problem with that at all.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
11:34 am

SC – Because now you’re suddenly INTERESTING when somebody else is sweating you! I think some dudes do it as an ego boost, to see if they really could take you away from the new dude. They may not even be that interested in you, just seeing if they could do it. I had a guy friend who tried to do that with his ex-girlfriend/baby mama after she met someone & got married! He used to say he could get her to leave her husband at any time! Didn’t work tho, she wasn’t crazy!!

Compelling

August 26th, 2009
11:36 am

@ Raqi- LOL!!! That’s the way to play it. Like I see you wanna look but you can’t. :-)

@ Dan- Really? Even if you’re with a woman that you love, respect, and adore? How does the woman that you’re with that that wandering eye of yours?

@Rocky- I’d have to agree with the other bloggers today. It sounds like she’s done some dirt and felt really guilty about it. Don’t let her anger fool you…she would not be having it if you told her that you let a drunk chick spend the night in your bed because you felt she was endangered. She should stop the madness.

Leggs

August 26th, 2009
11:36 am

It happens all the time, once a person is taken off the market his/her desirability index skyrockets. One may not be interested in the person, but when someone else latches on the dynamics change. You now wonder what you missed….you say to yourself hmmm, let me regroup and the game now starts to win this person’s interest you originally weren’t interested in from the get go. Convuluted way of saying this so hope you get my drift.

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
11:37 am

Hi All,
Reading that post made me kinda look in my own back yard. I’ve been in a relationship for 5 yrs. In the begining I wouldn’t dare even think about “testing the waters”. I was in love and only could see myself with that person…. Now that the “love” is pretty much gone… I find myself to be more accepting of the attention because “home” isn’t right. I think it depends on the person and the relationship. “True Love” can stand the subtle smiles or gazing eyes, but if you’re not genuinely ready to give up that freedom of doing your own thing or your current relationship is dwindling away then…. I say stay single or become single:)

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
11:37 am

LOL Rell, only you. I would hope she at least washed the sheets after the other guy.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
11:38 am

Morning pple!!!

Hey Rocky??!!! :lol:

So ur GF has a slutty friend but shes not a slut herslef,ha??? U sure shes that strong,kweeping the company of a hoe(s) but not aviling herslef to hoeing benefits??? :???:

And shes a champ,telling u,her bed has seen another man.
Only hoes are that str8 and bold!

Careful buddy!!

Morning my crew!

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
11:38 am

LOL ARed. I have never heard of this concept until I moved to Atlanta. Dang, I need to find someone so I can be “boo’d” up with this winter. lol

Page – I’m sure you can do it! There are plenty of fish in this here sea.

Yeah for me, my stock has always risen in the warmer seasons once it’s time to start showing skin. LOL

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
11:42 am

SexyCool is not it just amazing how that happens and why it happens.

It’s like you are the being held in store as the consolation prize while they be all out and about, but once you have been snatched they realize you are about to get away and now they want to step up their game. HA!

Foots

August 26th, 2009
11:42 am

RandyT – Could it be that don’t trust yourself or your decisions about choosing someone? When you trust yourself, you’re okay with making a choice because you know that you usually make good decisions, and if you end up getting a lemon for whatever reason, you can trust yourself to move on.

Like Raqi, I haven’t sat around thinking, “Oh, what if I would have chosen that other guy” because I meet them in twos like Amazon. I trust that whatever drew me to that particular person instead of the other was valid, not shallow, and that I put some thought into why I made that particular choice. If it doesn’t work out, oh well, the vast majority of relationships don’t. It doesn’t say to me that I should have picked Door#2.

I trust that with all the breakups I’ve been through and survived, I can survive another one if it happens. I also know that just like I met this one, there will eventually be someone else. That’s what really lets me go all in with someone, acknowledging the risk and knowing that if I get a bad roll of the dice, my life will eventually go on and may even turn out better.

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
11:42 am

Well, hell, I was already interesting and desirable, dammit!!!

~laughing~

Leggs

August 26th, 2009
11:44 am

Sure hope she changed the sheets!

Didn’t they have to pass a couch before the bedroom? Why didn’t they let her drunken bf crash there?

Is this a one-bedroom apartment?

Did she tell him because his scent was lingering on the mattress?

Didn’t she think to “febreeze” the bedding?

Again, hope she changed the sheets!

Dan

August 26th, 2009
11:45 am

@Compelling

My eyes wander but, my body, my mind and my soul are with her.

So what’s at issue?

Leggs

August 26th, 2009
11:47 am

“…you felt she was endangered” Thank you for the laugh. It broke up the congestion in my chest. Feeling a little puny this morning!

Foots

August 26th, 2009
11:50 am

It’s like you are the being held in store as the consolation prize while they be all out and about, but once you have been snatched they realize you are about to get away and now they want to step up their game. HA!

Yeah, it’s always funny to me. That drove me crazy right after I met this one. The guy was like “I never told you that I didn’t want to be in a relationship! Why you doing this to me?” We associated on and off for about 6 months and he was never consistent enough for me to think he wanted more, so I was dating others. When I found one I liked and told him, he was ticked and was doing True Confessions about his feelings for me. Go figure. I agree with Kimmie, if I would have gone to him, he wouldn’t have known what to do because it was probably just an ego thing with him. How dare I move on!! LOL

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
11:58 am

I agree with Kimmie, if I would have gone to him, he wouldn’t have known what to do because it was probably just an ego thing with him. How dare I move on!! LOL

Foots – So, so, soooo true.

I’m always a little smug when the woman moves on first. LOL

Compelling

August 26th, 2009
12:00 pm

@ Leggs- HAHA!

@ Dan- No issue with it actually, just curious. I just don’t know a lot of women who can accept the man they’re seeing seriously looking at other women without shame and are above reproach about it. Let me ask you this…if she told you that you were hurting her by doing it, would you stop? If your heart and soul belong to her, would you be willing to change?

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
12:05 pm

Can I just say that today is one of those days where I am shaking my head at dudes who take friendliness for interest?

Really, dude, I was just being cordial and speaking back.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
12:07 pm

I’m always a little smug when the woman moves on first. LOL

Amred – Me too!LOL!!

In my friend’s case, that girl was nuts about him! She did everything she could, including getting pregnant, to get him to marry her! He even said he thought she would make a good wife, but he was not about to commit to her or anybody. Their daughter was 9 years old by then and she finally gave up and moved on – new hubby was like a major or admiral or some other high-ranking official in the Navy, fine & had 2 teenage daughters of his own. They adored her young daughter. He took her someplace like Switzerland & Paris for their honeymoon! She said he was her soulmate. Now why would she leave all that for Mr. Wishy-Washy?

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
12:07 pm

I just don’t know a lot of women who can accept the man they’re seeing seriously looking at other women without shame and are above reproach about it

Compelling – Trust me girl, you are not alone. I don’t know those women either.

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
12:09 pm

@ Sexy Cool – Alot of guys mistake a smile for interest.. y is that? Are we to turn our heads or give you a *blank stare* lol.. Its just having manners….

Melo

August 26th, 2009
12:12 pm

I have an uncle who’ll lean outta his car window or stop talking mid-sentence to ogle women that walk by, all in fron of his woman. That’s disrespectful

So Compelling, what does his wife say,do etc about it???

Dan

August 26th, 2009
12:17 pm

@Compelling

Would I stop? I’d about have to, if she had a problem with it. But I know few females that say anything about it. Most chalk it up to “Dan being Dan”

My question to you is, what’s the problem? Girls that I’ve dated and liked a particular celebrity or whatever, I don’t get jealous when a commercial comes on or we pass a billboard and she melts. So what’s the problem? Accessibilty?

Compelling

August 26th, 2009
12:17 pm

@ ARed- :-) just bein’ real.

@ Melo- Oh my uncle doesn’t keep women for long, lol. They’re not together anymore and he’s already moved on to the next. They all get tired eventually but my uncle seems to think that they’re the problem and not him. He doesn’t realize or doesn’t care that he’s the common denominator…

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
12:17 pm

I wonder if these guys that are with these women or expecting women to be okay with them blatantly gawking at other women would be okay if she did the same looking at other men in front of him.

I’ll just say this, when a woman don’t care, she has her reasons. Don’t fool yourself.

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
12:22 pm

@ Dan.. That’s completely correct… We can gawk at Maxwell, Chris Brown, Idrs Elba….. we are not going to date nor marry the guy….But you gawking at Tisha, Candy, or Renee, yeah there just might be a chance…..

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
12:24 pm

Chris Brown? Dream_n how old are you? LOL

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
12:25 pm

@ Raqi- completely true.. I would def wonder why my girl/guy isn’t a tad bit offended is their significant other is looking at another person… Their prolly thinking go ahead and look…. I’m actually touching lol

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
12:27 pm

@ Raqi I’m 23… lol… You have to give it to him, that boy is cute:)

Compelling

August 26th, 2009
12:28 pm

Raqi that’s very true, she doesn’t care for a reason.

@ Dan I don’t think that it’s an issue with accessibility so to speak. It has more to do with respect for me. Appreciating the way that a woman looks and admiring her beauty is one thing, but flat out gawking and turning around to admire her while you stand next to the the women who has your “body, heart, and soul” is blatant disrepect and careless. It really comes down to where you guys draw the line. If you both agree that it’s okay, then hey, she’s a better woman than I. I’m not saying it’s wrong because that’s your relationship, but I just have a list of what I like to call “won’t tolerates” and that’s one of em. I was just curious to hear a different perspective on it.

East Point's Own

August 26th, 2009
12:29 pm

Dream_n I find it disrespectful for women to gawk at even celebrities. I do not, and will not gawk at any female celebrity around my lady. I would even say its fine to say that XYZ person is fine or whatever around me, but some ladies go on,and on about what they would do to XYZ celebrity, or they have phone wallpapers/computer screen savers of these dudes…and that’s going too far to me. If you gotta scream and fan yourself when you see XYZ celebrity on TV(while I am sitting right next to you) I think you crossed the line, whether they are accesible or not.
I can go to a stip club with a lady and not act like some women do when they are with their man and a celebrity they like is simply mentioned by name.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
12:31 pm

But I know few females that say anything about it

i dont know the type of women u date bro but from my experience,no serious woman will give u a pass on that,unless ofcourse she has her own side show she dont want u to harp on,so she maintains her silence.
For the lyfe of me unl;ess smeone is dating a porn star, i dont know many females who are comfotable with that kind of diss coz it wld be a diss if my woman gwakked at another man in my presence.
I keep my head in a harness when im with Queen,even tho it pains my neckk, i have to respect her presence! :lol:
If i really have to look, i will pass a jocular comment,either a non genuine diss of the woman or smething creative so at least we can both have an extended look at her,for my eyes’ benefit ofcourse(unbeknown to her). :lol: :lol:

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
12:35 pm

Dan even with a celebrity in a magazine or on the television I maintain a level of respect with my husband. He is my husband and I owe it to him just like him to me.

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
12:36 pm

@ EPO- Well maybe the word “GAWK” is being given many meanings….. I have absolutely no problem with a guy that I’m with saying a celebrity is attrative or even getting a little bit excited if they cross the screen. Now if they’re going to their concert with the intentions of trying to get backstage… NOW we have a problem. It’s perfectly normal for “us” to have crushes on celebrities.. I think everyone has one.. it’s oookkkaaay. BTW “It’s okay to go to a strip club if you’re in a relationship, but I can’t fan myself when I see a video”?????????

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
12:38 pm

unbeknown to her You think, huh? LOL

She gon stab you in that eye one day Melo.

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
12:42 pm

Well, gawking would be distasteful. Stopping mid sentence and turning your head would get you a strong glare the FIRST time.

A respectable acknowledgement is allowed, but continual blantant disrespect??? Don’t get stabbed. LOL!

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
12:43 pm

Dream_n now you know they only go to the strip club for the $2 beers.

LOL To say someone is attractive or cute is one thing but to get so worked up to get a boner or a slip-n-slide is just wrong all day long.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
12:43 pm

And believe if you’re fanning, you’re slipping.

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
12:45 pm

@ Raqui lmao… I totally agree getting worked up will def get you a side eye from me….. but giving a compliment is def okay….:)

East Point's Own

August 26th, 2009
12:57 pm

It’s all about respect. There is no reason to carry on like a 14 yr. old at a Chris Brown concert when you are 30 and someone mentions the name Tyrese or Maxwell, or Denzel or who ever, especially if you are with your man. Saying that so and so is fine is not a problem, but there is a point where it goes too far. Yes we all admire celebrities to a point, but you still have to respect the one you are with.

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
12:58 pm

I keep my head in a harness when im with Queen,even tho it pains my neckk,

lololol….some serious restraint going on….men are sooo visual.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
1:01 pm

some serious restraint going on….men are sooo visual

As far as celebrities go, i have told her that if Dianne Sawyer comes calling, i will leave her and the kids but i will support the kids and her on the side.

:lol: :lol:

Compelling

August 26th, 2009
1:03 pm

@ Melo- Daine Sawyer? I mean, whatever floats your boat, but you sure you’re not speaking of the younger Diane Sawyer?

@EPO- I agree. There’s no reason for women to be fawning over a celebrity or a regular joe for that matter.

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
1:03 pm

Dianne Sawyer….wow….whodda thunk it….to each his own though. not that she’s not a looker (in someone’s eyes), just don’t strike me as your type, according to your “screen” personality that is. Nothing wrong with that though. Hope that’s not a stereotype. Feast – famine, treasure – trash….and so on.

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
1:06 pm

Enter your comments here

Professor...ahhh

August 26th, 2009
1:08 pm

Melo…what turns you on about Dianne Sawyer? What age range do you like your ladies…just curious?

Professor...ahhh

August 26th, 2009
1:09 pm

Melo wants Dianne Sawyer to tell him the news…

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
1:15 pm

LOL…Diane Sawyer is not a bad looking woman plus she’s very succesful… Now if he was checking for Omorosa(however you spell her name) then this would be a diff discussion….

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
1:19 pm

@ EPO– I agree with your statement…. The number one word is “Respect”.

MsM

August 26th, 2009
1:21 pm

I just find it annoying… he’s 52 years old for petesake! Never in my presence, but OMG if he’s driving and I’m on the phone I get the blow by blow on practically everything he sees (mostly over in the Deck), especially women (the good, bad and ugly) he’s quite hilarious.

I don’t take it serious because it’s just him, and I know how he feels about me :)

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
1:23 pm

Tazzee

August 26th, 2009
1:26 pm

Diane Sawyer? Never woulda thunk it Melo.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
1:31 pm

Al Pacino would be my guy.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
1:35 pm

Dianne Sawyer,yes thats her….

she exudes some to me,very mild,seemingly kind and gorgeous(accrding to melo) and seems i can make her cook. :lol:

Proff/Ms Main. What age range do you like your ladies…just curious?
any age is good in a woman but the older,mature,ripe and sexxier,like Diane,the better. :lol: U knw these days,with viagra and other female enhancements, a 60 yr old woman is the new 40.
As long as she still delicious to the eye,face,dress,grace/gait and all….. :lol:

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
1:39 pm

Diane Sawyer!?!?! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Well, that’s a first. :lol:

Foots

August 26th, 2009
1:42 pm

I told my SO that since Reggie Bush and Kim broke up, they were both fair game if we ever got close enough. LOL!

I would definitely mind the ogling and the going on and on about somebody else, but simply acknowledging is okay with me. I already know what he’s thinking anyway, because one time we were out, there was this guy, way too young for me, but he pure-D made me giggle he was so cute and fine. He was standing close to us at the bar, so I made not so subtle attempts to touch him. That ish was funny. My SO never knew what I was laughing about.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
1:43 pm

My secret, older man crush used to be Robert Redford. He was the only “blond” I thought was hot. I usually go for the darker-haired types.

None hold a candle to any Brother for me, but if I went there….

Melo

August 26th, 2009
1:47 pm

Raqi/Amazon!

dont be jealous! :lol:

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
1:49 pm

I’ve never really gone for the athletes, always liked the cute nerds, more intellectual types. But for athletes I used to like Grant Hill cause he was intelligent & could play the piano. I like that brother tennis player, James Blake.

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
1:51 pm

“I’m focused, Man!”

Wise – I can practically “HEAR” you saying this. ~lol~

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
1:51 pm

Melo – You let your Dianne Sawyer crush out a few weeks ago! It slipped everyone else, but I caught it! You said you liked her suits. I like them as well. She had on a really nice black suit election night.

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
1:51 pm

dont be jealous!

melo – It will be tough…but I’ll try my best not to. :lol:

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
1:53 pm

Foots – My SO said Sade might be his next wife if we didn’t make it! I told him okay as long as Maxwell was available for me!LOL!!

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
1:53 pm

Sean Connery during the height of his James Bond days……he’s too old now to think about in that way…

yeahhhh for the split of Reggie and Kim…what was he thinking? Oh, wait, scratch that

Professor...

August 26th, 2009
1:56 pm

Well Melo go on with your bad self!

@Kimmie I remember Melo saying he liked her suits I did not think he was over there smiling at GMA.

My crush would be Miles Davis…since he is gone I will take MV7…sorry Angie

Kym-Accomplish much by trying less

August 26th, 2009
1:56 pm

Anyone have any ideas or know of any festivals for Labor Day Weekend? I am finding the outings pretty slim this year.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
1:57 pm

Kimmie, i neva thoght she was married untill i saw her with her hubby on tv,attending some award show in LA.Hes an older guy.
Cant stand Barbara Walkers for some funky reason.That facial she has makes it even harder coz u cant tell if shes happy or sad…
I watched The View lil bit yesterday..thats a hot show…

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
1:57 pm

Ms. Main Kim Kardashian got a thing for the brothers, eh?

Melo

August 26th, 2009
1:58 pm

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
2:00 pm

@ Ms. Main…
I am definately with you on Sean Connery but not the “James Bond Days”:(.. I love the white hair on him:)

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
2:00 pm

An attractive older brother that I would give a chance is James Pickens, Jr.

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
2:00 pm

Never too much cared for her with (BW) something about her is off… can’t quite put my finger on it…

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
2:01 pm

My hidden MaryKay Lady is coming out this week.

Get half off any order over $100 through August 31st.

So, yes, $100 worth of product will be $50 plus tax and so on.

Contact me at cscfromajc@yahoo.com

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
2:05 pm

Raqi Yes she does….as well as her sister…I believe Kourtney. I think at the end of last season, she came in with a brother, a surprise to all. Can’t remember his name but he’s an athlete too…I think

Dream_n Bond, James Bond…mmm mmm mmm

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
2:08 pm

Melo – I like Barbara, but then I am a journalism/news junkie. I have her book. She was very attractive in her younger days on Today and could hold her own with the men. The View is a hot mess to me!

I lost complete respect for Sean Connery when he was on one of Barbara Walter’s specials and said he thought there was nothing wrong with hitting a woman to “put her in her place”. Barbara was stunned. She tried to get him to clean it up, but he repeated it. My mom was watching in the other room & she ran into mine & said “did you hear him?” My martial arts teacher is from England. He was talking about that the other day. He said folks over there knew about it too and his popularity tanked over there after that statement. A slip of the lip….

Melo

August 26th, 2009
2:12 pm

Is Kim Kardashian not a sister??

she looks mulatoo to me.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
2:12 pm

Kimmie a few of the guys on here feel that way also. We had that discussion one time.

Wise Diva

August 26th, 2009
2:13 pm

LOL @ SexyCool, that’s funny, and I had no idea you were in Mary Kay, nice!

kimmie, it’s good to see your spirits lifted again, I was sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.

Compelling

August 26th, 2009
2:14 pm

@ Kimmie- Wow, Sean Connery said that? How horrible.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
2:17 pm

Wise – Thank you so much. Just trying to keep on keepin on!

Leggs

August 26th, 2009
2:18 pm

Surprised no one has mentioned Ted Kennedy’s passing. R.I.P. Mr. Kennedy!

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
2:18 pm

Melo – She is Armenian.

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
2:18 pm

@ kimmie… If he did say that he just lost a lot of points with me… but if he’s never actually done it “Can I still Crush on him?” lol

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
2:18 pm

Yes she does….as well as her sister…I believe Kourtney. I think at the end of last season, she came in with a brother, a surprise to all

Actually it was the youngest sister, Khloe. She was dating some Timberwolves player. The oldest Kourtney is having a baby with that white guy, Scott.

melo – the Kardashians are not mixed with black at all. Their father is like Persian or Iranian or soemthing. Moms is white.

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
2:20 pm

WiseTechnically, I’m what’s called a personal use consultant. Meaning I’m only a consultant to get half off the products that I want to buy. So, in order to keep my discount, every now and again, I offer the product at cost to anyone who wants to order with me.

I am so NOT your typical MaryKay Lady.

Page1908

August 26th, 2009
2:21 pm

omg who still uses the word “mulatto”? smdh

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
2:22 pm

……and said he thought there was nothing wrong with hitting a woman to “put her in her place”. Barbara was stunned.

gheesh, so am I

Raqi…got it, thanks…I knew it was one of them.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
2:23 pm

Dream – If I remember correctly, cause it was so long ago, he had not actually done it. I think Barbara clarified that with him. But yeah, he lost major cool points with me, cause I’m a serious Bond lover!

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
2:23 pm

Leggs yeah, I heard the Kennedy new this morning. Although eons ago, I read up on the Kennedys….did so again this more. So much tragedy in that family. That Joe (Sr), was no joke.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
2:24 pm

Amred – Yeah, half white, half Armenian.

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
2:25 pm

I hate clingy coworkers….gives me the heebie jeebies.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
2:27 pm

Olive Garden Take Out

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
2:29 pm

SCool – Where’s your pink Cadillac?

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
2:30 pm

I read a story about Ted leaving a 28 yr old woman in a car to drown… What’s that all about??? Anyone know?

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
2:34 pm

Ms. Main my husband and I were talking about that this morning, how tragic their deaths were.

Ted and the sister that passed a week or so ago were the only two of the kids that lived to get old and die. All the others did tragic deaths. Even to JFK Jr.

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
2:35 pm

Dream_n As much as I’ve read, today was the first time I came across that story. That was tragic to say the least. Most of the sources pretty much stated the same….that she drown is the cause of death stated on the death certificate. However the undertaker stated she suffocated. There are questions surrounding that event that will never be answered…esp whether or not she was pregnant. Her parent declined an autopsy.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
2:36 pm

So much tragedy in that family

Ms Main,this is a tragedy but very natural in this case,77 yrs old..nothing elevated in my view.
At about how old do u turn over folks in ur fam,on avrge?? 125 years???

I hate clingy coworkers
why are they clinging,smebody has a crush on u Ms Main?

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
2:37 pm

LMAO!!! Kimmie – I will NEVER get a MaryKay car. Ever. In life. LMAO!!!

It’s funny. I’m just a big fan of their Bronze #2 mineral powder foundation and the TimeWise skin care products. Everything else, I buy from the beauty supply, the drug store or the MAC counter. (And I don’t even wear a lot of makeup.)

For all that Cadillac stuff, you have to become a KayBot. I am so NOT interested in THAT. LOL!

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
2:41 pm

SCool – Yeah, I was being funny, cause I so cannot picture you being a KayBot AT ALL!! Or driving a pink Cadillac! You just seem too COOL for all that!LOL!!!

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
2:45 pm

SCool – Okay, why am I singing that Aretha Franklin song in my head, Freeway of Love” in my head now?!!LOL!!

“We’re goin ridin on the free-way of love, in my pink Cadillac!”

Leggs

August 26th, 2009
2:47 pm

Joe, Sr was no joke and all the physical aliments John F. had to go through was mind boggling. Perhaps now the ever looming black cloud over the Kennedys has faded away.

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
2:47 pm

I felt you, Kimster.

And yes, I am quite cool, aren’t I? ~more laughing~

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
2:49 pm

Raqi
Actually, there’s one left….
Jean Kennedy Smith (born February 20, 1928) is an American politician, a former United States Ambassador to Ireland, and is the eighth of nine children born to Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr. and Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy. Since the death of Ted Kennedy on August 25, 2009, she is the only surviving member of her generation of the well-known Kennedy family.

Melo Oh, I agree that this is about as natural as we’ve seen…with long years I might add. For my family, we’ve been fortunate. So far God has blessed with long life in my family. I’d say late seventies and on into the eighties.

As far as clingy coworker….nope no crush…at least I don’t think so…lol. A coworker volunteers to assist when I have to leave early and I guess she sort of have the wrong idea now and is coming by everyday and giving updates on her doctor’s appointments and stuff. I treated her to lunch as a show of appreciation in her assiting and that following workday, she made a beeline to my desk. It was how she did her morning greeting….(singing) how are yoooou and in falsetto (sp) I might add. That really creeped me out….HEEBIE JEEBIES. I’ve just sort of been keeping away…here of late. She took the hint though after coming by a couple of times and reading an expression of “yes, what do you need.” I don’t wrap tight with coworkers like that.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
2:49 pm

We have had it all sold by someone here. Mary Kay, Avon, Amway, Kitchen Knives, Lingerie, “Toys”, Monavie, and this other “health” drink that I can’t think of right now.

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
2:51 pm

Leggs Perhaps

Foots

August 26th, 2009
2:53 pm

The Kennedy family seems blessed and cursed at the same time. I mean, has any other family had so many untimely deaths and illnesses due to plane crashes, murder (assassinations), drugs, cancer, etc? I know that Washington is sad to lose him, at least he got to live to almost see universal health care come to fruition, which he fought for.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
2:54 pm

Oh yeah and the lady that tried selling the jewelry that her daughter made at home at the kitchen table. Givin’ folks rashes and gangrene and crap.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
2:56 pm

an expression of “yes, what do you need

:lol: Ms Main,dont be mean. :lol:

If shes not lesbo,sho proly feels u are one of the good guys,since u actually treated her to lunch.
More wrk on her plate wld be appreciated,im sure..no wonder the beelines to ur desk…

Is she a junior to u??

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
2:59 pm

Raqi – You’ve got me cracking up over here. Gangrene – lol!

I don’t even mention MaryKay at work and few of my friends and associates even know I’m a PUC.

Lord Velonese (Atlanta's very own Sadist and you love it too!)

August 26th, 2009
3:02 pm

WD wrote: “does this mean we are perpetually avoiding relationships?”

I know I am. I’m also very focused too! Why you ask or wonder? Well that’s really none of your business now is it?

Professor

August 26th, 2009
3:03 pm

…stepping in…catching up.

@Leggs I mentioned Sen. Kennedy before 11:00AM
@Melo, do you like Kim too? Give us a list of the ladies you like…

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
3:07 pm

Now JFK Jr. is one I would have gotten with any day of the week! Talk about hot!

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
3:10 pm

Melo No, no lesbo…at least that’s not what comes off. But hey, you never know. I mean we’re cool but I had to do that to put some distance. She was like waiting on me in the mornings or coming back if I stepped away. She’d say I came over but you weren’t here. Me treating someone or doing something nice for someone as a thanks is not exclusive to one person. I think that may have been miscontrued somewhat. But we’re cool. I chatted a bit or two in passing and kept it moving. Not a meanie.

Oh, no she’s not a junior under me but I trained this group during some company orginizational changes. According to tenure they’re ahead of me but this group was so archaic and pretty much operated manually. When the changes started, as far as experience and depth, I’m actually more 360 than them so I was the chosen one.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
3:12 pm

Melo, do you like Kim too? Give us a list of the ladies you like

naw, i dont like Kim!!
u know i dont like Halle nor Gabrielle Union..
i like Sannae Latham,Denzel wife,even Samuel Jackson’s..
or are u asking me about my MIA blog celebrity women crushes??? :lol: :lol:

Melo

August 26th, 2009
3:15 pm

naw, i dont like Kim!!

I shldnt have said that, i mis spoke…i dont particularly care for Kim,i dont hate her.Shes not even in my radr coz i dont even know what she does?? oh! reality shows, i dont watch those nor care for them….

Leggs

August 26th, 2009
3:17 pm

@Raqi, are you talking about Noni Juice or Acai Berry?

Foots

August 26th, 2009
3:17 pm

kimmie — If we start talking about deceased guys that if they were still alive, they could get it, I must mention Christopher Reeve. I loved myself some Superman!! My goodness!!

Leggs

August 26th, 2009
3:18 pm

@Professor ~ I’ve been skimming since I’ve been gone for quite some time. I didn’t see it. Good for you!

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
3:18 pm

I thought Raqi may have been talking about Melalueca (sp?).

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
3:19 pm

SexyCool what pyssed me off was her having the her daughter come in here selling that crap. We buy the Girl Scout cookies from her, ain’t that enough? You hate to tell kids no so I bought one bracelet and put it around the dog’s neck when we had it. These crazy folks were wearing that stuff and one lady formed a really bad rash around her neck and another man said the holes in her daughter’s ears became infected.

I forget about the Christmas cards that one man sold.

I got with the Amway, I bought a set of the knives and I always buy the GS cookies.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
3:20 pm

Yeah Noni, that’s it.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
3:20 pm

Ms Main, i take it from what u said that u are somebody she probably is looking up to.
Thats my read.
Just be nice to her and ask her if theres smething she wld want to learn from u etc.(since shes cming from an “archaic” bacground)
She proly figures since she did u some fav,she has a foot in the door as far as getting valuable advice/knwledge etc is cponcerned.
That wld be nice if u respond favrably and empewer her to do better in her job…
Promise me u wont biaatch her….

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
3:21 pm

Melo – Well, Kim’s definitely not as accomplished as your girl Diane!LOL!!

Leggs

August 26th, 2009
3:23 pm

@SexyCool ~ I use to sell Melalueca (sp?). I loved the product!

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
3:24 pm

Promise me u wont biaatch her lolol

pinky swear

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
3:24 pm

Raqi – It used to be this furniture polish that Amway used to sell that my mom liked. Anytime someone came around that’s what she would get.

Ms. Main

August 26th, 2009
3:25 pm

Leggs what is Melalueca

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
3:25 pm

I have a friend that is involved in it. They have some really great lip balm. My fave is the pina colada.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
3:26 pm

Foots – Reeve was a very handsome man. See that’s what I’ve always gone for, the tall & dark-haired kind!

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
3:27 pm

Mason had me laughing about the new Acai Berry fad. He has been going to the same barber for 20 years and he was talking how the fad goes thru there. He said on Saturday morning about 70% of the shop is sipping on a bottle of whatever is popular at the time. Now it’s Acai.

Snapple, Green Tea (Arizona and Lipton), Noni, Vitamin Water. There was other stuff he mentioned that I can’t remember because he went way back with it. 15-20 years back.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
3:29 pm

He mentioned chewing on the yellow root.

Professor

August 26th, 2009
3:30 pm

@Melo I will not ask you to divulge blog crushes, but if you do not have a problem revealing…do tell!

Melo

August 26th, 2009
3:31 pm

I didn’t see it. Good for you!

Leggs, i wanted to answer u earlier and rebutt that and say Proff had said so.
I just shied away coz i figured, blog peeps might mis-construe and picture u,Proff and myself in some sort of menage a trois! So i just cowed.
Not a bad idea tho!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
3:31 pm

The one thing he said that never caught on were the fancy coffees.

SexyCool - Tastes great. Less filling.

August 26th, 2009
3:36 pm

I think it’s difficult to make money in any of the MLM companies that are out there. After years of being sucked into a few of them, I have finally learned to say no.

In fact, the MK thing came about because my apartment complex manager noticed that I’d paid my rent with an MK check that I had from nearly four years ago. Back then I thought I was going to make BIG MONEY as a consultant – it only took me a few months to realize that I was not going to get rich selling one lipstick at a time.

Anyways, she was trying to make director and needed to add consultants to her team. She asked if I was interested in becoming an active consultant again to ‘help her out’. I responded, “No.”

Well, then she offered to pay the fee to reinstate me out of her own pocket and give me a bunch of product free. And here I am – a personal use consultant.

I’ve never made any money worth talking about in any of those companies. Who knows? Maybe there is something out there that works. I just haven’t happened across it.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
3:36 pm

Kimmie they have some pretty good products. I got a more than a few things from them.

Professor

August 26th, 2009
3:37 pm

****blog peeps might mis-construe and picture u,Proff and myself in some sort of menage a trois!****

Melo you are the only person that would have thought that…LMAO!!!

@Leggs it is all good I am usually a strutting ahead two or three steps before the crowd.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 26th, 2009
3:40 pm

Off Topic …I really NEED to take some of my Delta Skymiles and head to Cabo or somewhere and tell that beach bartender to bring me a marguerita every 20 minutes until he sees my head in a trashcan…and then every 40 minutes after that. I’m tired.

Oh well, drop in later.

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
3:44 pm

RandyT – You can meet me in Mexico next week and we’ll make sure that happens for you.

I’ve got a gazillion SkyMiles saved up too. Thinking of somewhere fabulous to go.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
3:45 pm

SexyCool that’s why the ladies here sometimes sell it out of the back of their car and from underneath their desk. You have to keep your bill paying job along with it.

I tell you it takes perseverance. I remember when I was a young girl there was a lady that would come around our neighborhood selling Avon door to door.

You know what I miss and it might still be in some neighborhoods, but I miss the vegetable man that used to drive thru our neighborhood when I was younger. My mom got some of the best fruit and vegetables from that man.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 26th, 2009
3:48 pm

Thanks Ared…also wondering if I walked into a Mexican cathouse with a $100 bill taped to my forehead what would happen.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
3:48 pm

SexyCool/Raqi

i have a sister/cousin thats hooked on M Kay.She opines that she will make it big one day and is very serious about it.
She wont look for any other job,stressing out folks to buy products so she can make her numbers,even tho from what i hear(from Queen ofcourse) sme of that stuff is neva boght.Her hubby and her have their own issues as far as finance goes,but nobody can tell her nothing.
She must have a good motivational pyramid leader thats feeding her that mirage of wealth dwn the road. :lol:
I hate these ponzi schemes!

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 26th, 2009
3:50 pm

Re: “also wondering if I walked into a Mexican cathouse with a $100 bill taped to my forehead what would happen”.

Actually I know the answer there now that I think about it…pretty much anything I want to happen.

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
3:52 pm

We also had the door to door magazine salesman.

Speaking of which, I remember one time my brother ordered a nudie mag with a card he got out of the back of a car mag. He and my dad have the same name so my mom thought my dad had lost his mind ordering a mag thru the mail. My brother got in big trouble for that. He got in trouble because my younger brother found his condoms and made water balloons. He got in trouble for buying firecrackers thru the mail.

Boy and I wonder why he became a psychotherapist head shrinker.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
3:52 pm

Completely off the subject(s):

Isn’t the term “Honor Roll” a term used more in middle & high school and in college the term is “Dean’s List”?

Leggs

August 26th, 2009
3:56 pm

@Ms. Main, Melaleuca is an Ecosense cleaning product industry. From vitamins, to laundry products to cleansing the body internally. Melaleuca is famously known for its Tea Tree Oil. Melaleuca also sells makeup by Nicole Miller. Their cleaning products are fabulous and I still use some of them.

Leggs

August 26th, 2009
3:58 pm

Ha ha ha, yes honor roll used more often in middle and h.s. Dean’s List used in college (well when I was in college).

Melo

August 26th, 2009
3:59 pm

but I miss the vegetable man that used to drive thru our neighborhood when I was younger

U know they still do that in SA…

where did u grow up Raqi??

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 26th, 2009
4:04 pm

Leggs – I have this KNOW IT ALL buddy & coworker. There is a young lady that is going back to finish up her bachelor’s and is very interested in going to law school. She just completed her 1st 2 classes in summer school & got A’s. She said she made Dean’s list and Miss KIA said honor roll. Student said there was a difference, she said “no it is not!” all indignant. I told her honor roll was more high school but when you get to college it’s dean’s list. She had to begrudgingly agree, but most of the stuff she spouts out is at least half wrong!LOL!! She one of those folks that know just enough to be dangerous on some things!

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
4:06 pm

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
4:09 pm

Melo that was the best fruit I ever tasted. Haven’t quite found anything yet that even comes close other than the strawberries I grew in my backyard.

Mason got some from the Auburn market last year in November and that was pretty good. But not like I remember off the vegetable truck.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
4:11 pm

Mayredda??

yeah,40 years ago it must have looked like soweto now?

Kym-Accomplish much by trying less

August 26th, 2009
4:12 pm

Is it 5 yet? This has been a long, long week.

Dream_n

August 26th, 2009
4:14 pm

@ Melo– I am so with you.. When I was looking for a job.. They had this posting for 20-30 dollars an hour(more like 20-30 dollars an appontment) It was this whole “natural thing” They wanted us to sell the stuff, then have the people we sell to sell to other people. They wanted a list of everyone in our cell phone before we left. They hyped the job up to be so GREAT!!!! Damn those ponzi schemes!!!!!

Melo

August 26th, 2009
4:14 pm

Raqi,everything is chilled nowadays and travels long distance,so yeah,it dont taste the same coz of preservation etc.
At my next house,i am going to have my own veggie garden..altho i like what i buy at the frmers now..bestess i can have under the circum.

Leggs

August 26th, 2009
4:16 pm

We probably all have a friend or two like that. You just stand on the sidelines and let them put foot in mouth. Hey, let her know they’re considering doing away with the honor roll system and award recognition because those who don’t make it feel bad. See what she says.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
4:21 pm

Dream_n,its okay to do that as a side hustle,not a main thing..
But i know the feeling,ive been outa of a job be4 and when u down,u grab for anything that looks promising…..and those mufckkers are so slick with their marketing, u almost believe u will make it BIG….

Multivitamins and the natural Herb industry is another fad…
Lotsd of pple are swalling gazzilions of tablets per day,just so they can live longer and fool death!!

evething in moderation people,moderation! :lol: :lol:

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
4:23 pm

Melo when my m-i-l passed my husband inherited his 4 acres and a tax lien (LOL) and it has a really nice two story colonial style house with a huge kitchen on the lot. Before the baby was born I used to tell Mason we could move there and I could plant a big garden out back and we could turn the house into a bed and breakfast.

But instead he knocked me up so here we stay. For now.

He did ask me though who did I have in mind to till that garden for me, if he was willing to do that. LOL

Professor

August 26th, 2009
4:26 pm

Melo I raided my mom’s garden on Saturday. I am going to do my own veggie garden at my next house too.

Melo

August 26th, 2009
4:27 pm

But instead he knocked me up so here we stay. For now
Raqi??? :???:
well hes trying to save u from her hauntings, i presume.
Isnt this the m.i.l. u didnt particulary mind if she kicked the bucket(died)??

Melo

August 26th, 2009
4:30 pm

what does ur mom grow Proff??

Raqi

August 26th, 2009
4:32 pm

Melo yes but she never lived there so I don’t think she will haunt me. She inherited the property from he father but rented it out for years. It’s a very nice place. It needs a little work but very nice. It has the wide board hardwood floors. It has 3 fireplaces including one in the kitchen. It has 5 bedrooms. I wouldn’t mind living in the house, but I don’t know about living in VA.

Professor

August 26th, 2009
4:36 pm

Melo my mother grows it all she has a real green thumb: greens, corn, tomatoes, peanuts, pumpkins, cucumbers, okra, squash etc. She have fig trees, peach trees and a few other fruit tree. Back in the 80’s she was featured in a few magazines and on tv with her garden. She is the real deal!

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
4:44 pm

This afternoon is moving slower than molasses.

Professor

August 26th, 2009
4:44 pm

…stepping out, wishing everyone a wonderful evening!

Professor

August 26th, 2009
4:45 pm

Yep it is moving slow and it is a little boring (stretching)

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
4:49 pm

I can see the top of the hump…almost over it…

AmazonRed™

August 26th, 2009
5:01 pm

Have a great night everyone.

Bam Said The Lady

August 31st, 2009
7:41 pm

[...] licence. “Lady, this is a driver's licence,” I replied. …   I'm Focused, Man!Well of course when I was in a new relationship I would always get hit on and flirt back, and BAM we [...]