It’s not quantity or ratio that’s important, it’s quality that counts, and the dating scene is lacking in that department. To me it just means we have more shallow, self-centered women to choose from.

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Quantity but no quality! Shows like Desperate Housewives, Tiny & Toya, etc. pretty much displays what we are dealing with here in Atlanta!

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Today.
Your guy sounds like a girly man. Please find a real man and move on.
Happy Monday fellow bloggers.

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Have you changed up your “type” because of the perceived ratio on the dating scene? as in going Lezzy? NO! lol….however I have ruled out divorced men.

LOL Today….your guy is just trying to keep you happy, give him some slack, at least none of your complaints are about him hitting you or cheating on you.

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Hi Wise and All…in for a few days then back to DC

When I first came to ATL, I heard the same numbers from a lady I was dating and thought that was ludicrous. However, I think it could actually apply to some extent to the dating range that I date in. I date ladies in their 40’s, and so many of them have ex’s that are trying to search out the “hard bodies” that are in their 20’s and 30’s. Since I do the Internet dating, not the bar “holla” scene, it often seems like trying to figure out what you want to eat at a 100 item salad bar…too many choices.

This sounds like every man’s dream but for some, or at least me, that is a dilemma. Recently I have been out a few times with a nice lady, however I have also met a lady on line who is very attractive and interesting (once as high as sixth in figure skating rankings) who wants to go out, and last night received an email from a gal I met who lives in VA beach and is flying in to town this weekend. Sounds great right? Not for me. I am singularly monogamous, and frankly don’t like hurting anyone. All three of these ladies think I only have them on the radar screen and I like all of them.

The problem with ATL is that sometimes there are just toooooooo dayum many choices. That is one of the reasons why men have a hard time committing…they want to choose the best of the many choices and usually end up screwing up all of them. And yes, I have several of THOSE t-shirts also.

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Morning All!

Do you even worry about the numbers or ratio of single people? Does it make us more competitive?

I don’t. It may make some competitive, but I know my worth and what I am looking for. It will take time to “find” him, but there is no competition from my end.

What do you think about the dating options in Atlanta? Are they working for you or against you?

There are a variety of options in Atlanta. Depends on what you are desiring and your patience level.

Have you changed up your “type” because of the perceived ratio on the dating scene?

Nope. Still know what I want.

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Thanks for the comments. Im just use to the “stronger” type.

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Don’t believe the numbers game…plus might have to subtract those numbers to include alternative lifestyles. So I think we break even ..not into competitive sports with dating. Quality tops Quantity all day.

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Um. Yeah. Don’t have any issues attracting/meeting/dating men. One of my mottoes: What’s on a man’s mind? SexyCool, of course. Teasing….kinda…~lol~

Co-signing Chink @ 938a.

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& let him found someone who better:Today??!! Im just use to the “stronger” type i agree with abc,lol.

best of the many choices and usually end up screwing up all of them screwing as in messing up??

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Good Monday morning blog people!

Today – That would drive me crazy – it is a little feminine. Sorry to stereotype, but I call em like I see em. It is one thing to be considerate, but another to try too dogon hard. He can’t keep all that up. If you all remain together, at some point he is going to fall asleep, so then what is he going to do? He’s also not being honest – you offer him something and he takes it knowing he does not want it!! How are you ever going to get to know the real him & find out what are his true likes & dislikes? Sounds like some self esteem issuses too. I would go nuts!

On topic – It’s a high ratio, but the numbers dwindle on EACH side when you subtract quality factors such as imprisonment, alternative lifestyles, drug usage, etc. I took myself out of the “game” a long time ago because I refuse to compete over the 4 or 5 same guys that everybody in ATL is going after!LOL!!

As for the reality shows having an adverse affect on the perception of women in ATL: It should have no more affect than the other countless negative, ghetto reality shows that are on tv with people from various cities. I’ve been exposed to ATL high society, and believe me, RHOA AIN’T nowhere near it! And if 5 wannabe chicks out of 4 million is all it takes for a guy to have a bad perception of women in ATL, then that tells me he’s not too intelligent. I’m attracted to intelligence, so he need not apply.

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RE Kimmie’s 10:00 AM. I hate reality shows…because I have yet to see even one that even slightly resembles the “reality” that I know, but more like “freak shows” like a high brow Jerry Springer. As far as RHOA or any of the other RH’s I’ve tuned in to, some times they have been “eye candy” but talk about a bunch of ladies who could make some guy’s life pure “hellz”. I would really hate to think that any proportion of women are like that in real life.

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@Today, btw, when your man “snaps” don’t look surprised. To suppress something as simple as saying “no” to mundane requests will only percolate in his soul until boiling point. He may be a nice man, but he’s a wuss at heart (from what you typed here).

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@Leggs…Good Post 10:06

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@Today

“Strength” can be misinterpreted sometimes. Is he strong of character? Is he strong morally? Is he strong in the protection of you? Think about where he is “strong” before assessing his weaknesses.

@Randy/On Topic

I don’t agree that “options” are the problem with non committed guys in the A. More than anything, it’s guys trying to do too much. A dude in the frame of mind for committment will see through the numbers to woman (women) that he chooses.

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@Grace – I feel ya. We all can only speak for our own experiences
And yes… please… go to Miami!!!

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Good Morning All,

Do you even worry about the numbers or ratio of single people? Not really..but I know competition is high. And yes I can see that women are becoming increasingly competitive.

What do you think about the dating options in Atlanta? Slim to none in the case of what I am looking for. Like kimmie said alternative lifestyles and the bling bling factor have driven me away from the game.

Have you changed up your “type” because of the perceived ratio on the dating scene? Hmm no I have not changed my overall type but I am begining to think outside the box in terms of options. (Different race, background, etc..) Not height..height is a must.

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@Fulfilling ~ Thanks!

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Peach – That’s your Miami experience – with others I know, not so much, including a few that have moved HERE from there. There is more interracial dating there probably, if that is ones cup of tea. Just goes to show, it’s all about one’s own personal experiences. The grass always looks greener everywhere else too.

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@Peach

Your solution applies to men and women.

Wants and needs being two different things is something that some folks just don’t understand…..even in their 30s and 40s.

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Hey Leggs…

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Why Infamous, how are you this fine morning (said in the finest southern dialect). Ok, that’s my rep. Here’s me. Wassup, how are things going?!

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1. He says he’s scared to fall asleep at my place because he snores & he doesn’t want to keep me woke, – Actual, He busted one and want to spend the night and have to listen your yapping in the morning.

2. If we talking on the phone & he doesn’t hear/or understand what I said he doesn’t want to ask me to repeat myself – Actual, He don’t give a flying fugg what you are talking about. The only reason he is on the phone is to ensure he can bust another one and leave cause he don’t want to wake you.

If I offer him something he does want to say no, knowing he doesn’t want it. – Actual, He knows you would argue with a dead man just to get your point across. So why bother,just eat the cake Anne May.

On topic: I don’t believe in the numbers. Women are always talking about there aren’t any men in Atlanta. Which is a bold face lie. There are plenty of men they just don’t fit what you think you want. Stop looking for steak in the bread isle.

Blog ladies do me a favor list the physical and mental makeup of the man you want. I trying to prove a point to a friend of mines.

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LOL @ Ballwood! Nobody in their right mind is going to play your list game – I’ll tell you what I’m NOT looking for. How bout that???

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I feel that as a black woman, dating in Atlanta is almost impossible. Usually there’s one of 4 things going on:

1. they’re gay
2. they’re downlow and trying to use you as a cover
3. they have a “baby mama”
4. they know that they are a good catch so they set impossible standards

If you don’t look like a Halle or Beyonce clone, men won’t even try to talk to you. They don’t respect someone who’s hard working and financially independent if they don’t look like a “dime”.

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Peach: I tell you what you don’t want that’s easy. I want to know what you do want. Now that’s the 25,000 question.

Girl: Are you talking about dating or getting married? Also, 1 and 2 on your list are the samething and 3 should be held against the “baby mama” for being a “baby mama”, so you only really have 1 thang which is “they know they are a good catch” What’s wrong with a dude setting standards and sticking to them? You have standards right. If not, do you like alligators?

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DK getting attention is one thing but getting the attention and keeping it is another thing, hence the term “I can get em, I just can’t keep em”

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They don’t respect someone who’s hard working and financially independent if they don’t look like a “dime”.

-whets your phone namber shawty…lol

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My story in Atlanta is still the same. I compared it to shopping at Marshalls. You know there is a nice cashmere sweater on sale here but you have to look through the clearance section, the misplaced clothes, etc until you find what you looking for. Usually you are already exhausted!

I think there are alot of prospects here but its just so much fluff in every area so you just have to make it through all that. The numbers are really unrealistic. If its 7-1, only 2 are even worth dealing with.

Atlanta is like any other place I lived. There’s always going to be drama and issues, etc. Just stay true to who you are and always operate in integrity.

@Ballwood

LOL

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@Ball – what I do want might change tomorrow. what I don’t want will remain constant.

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I don’t know why some women think that looks will guaruntee a man. Look around, there’s some very ordinary looking people who are in lasting relationships or married. Expose the beauty you have within.

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Peach Sometimes its just not the right time also…try different venues for more stimulating men…we all go through “droughts” maybe focus on something else and he will fall right in your path!

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Grace – Amen to your 11:17! The plainest folks I know have spouses or SO’s! They may not be the “Halle” or “Boris” standard of beauty, but I believe everyone has something about them that is attractive to someone. Like Dan said, there is a market for what another finds attractive!

Like Judge Judy says in her book – Beauty fades, dumb is forever!LOL!!

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Shy one – That’s always how I’ve approached it, it only takes one! One is mine!

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5^ Ared

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That is one of the reasons why men have a hard time committing…they want to choose the best of the many choices and usually end up screwing up all of them. And yes, I have several of THOSE t-shirts also.

RandyT – So true. Funny how that happens.

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Great comments this morning! My take on this situation is this…

One, don’t buy into the whole shortage of men thing! My question is who had the time to count every man in Atlanta and measure the quality of said dudes?

Two, there are many good, quality men handling their biz out there, the problem is that he may not always look like you want him to look, therefore, many women don’t feel like he exists!

Three, folks often want what they are not themselves! If you are not the most educated, smart, attractive, credit responsible, independent person yourself, what makes you think that that person wants you?

Fourth, there are a very large portion of men in this country being raised solely by women, with no man in sight! There is nothing wrong with a woman raising a man, but a woman cannot teach a man how to be a responsible man!

Many men have had women take care of them their whole life, so as an adult, why should he suddenly want to be a man and take care of his woman? Many men feel it is okay to have a woman take care of them and not step up to the plate, nor do many women demand that that guy act as a man! Many men don’t know how to step up to the plate, so women should not be surprised or upset because those men were never taught the fundamentals of being a true man!

Fifth, we need to start being honest with ourselves and loose the fake notions that we are “all that” because the reality is that there are far more folks with major issues with their overall character vs. people who have themselves together!

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#1. Mr. Right wants someone who will ADD to his life, not take from it.

#2. Mr. Right wants someone who takes pride in their appearance. How can we be proud of you, if you are not even proud of you. Exercise, workout, have a nice body. No excuses with that one. Peach confirmed it, change your body, change the # game. Think of your body as a resume when there is 10% unemployment and bills are due.

#3. To keep a Mr. Right, understand him! Ladies you are the complicated ones. Men are very simple. As long as you continue to keep our attention and meet our needs we will stay. Where you have many wants and needs, we have very few. Think of ours as being just as important as yours and treat them accordingly. Remember the 3 Ss

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@DK – boinking game done changed! You can’t even rely on yall for that anymore. smh!

@Dan – nah, don’t have the “ugly duckling” syndrome. Lol. I had to laugh at that one. Thanks for the tip but I didn’t really need it. Maybe you can look at my situation and call it an “advantage” but I don’t. Big or small, finding a guy is always a process of weeding.

@Chink – I agree. Im very comfy with me and know there is nothing wrong with being single. I don’t like it, but I’m ok with how God has been working on me over the last 3 years.

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Hit the cigar bar scene – or the barber shop, likka sto, rib jont

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Peach – For real ya’ll cant even depend on us for the boinkage.. Wow now Im at a loss for words on that one.. Please explain..

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@p404….whats ya phone namber..lol

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Kimmie: Have I told you that I like your fangas.

Peach: You can’t even rely on yall for that anymore. smh! – Awwww naw hell naw now. When Kym get her fill of tuna I’ll bring you some black cake.

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—I have told him he can be Overkill sometimes especially with the compliments.

Yeah you have to watch the compliments! Too many and you sound like a groupie lol, too few and she thinks you aren’t interested.

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Women don’t know what they want but will focus with laser beam accuracy on what they don’t want.

@Ball – so, whats the difference between “standards” and “focusing on what you don’t want”? Straight up, I’m not going to tell a man what I do want b/c you run the risk of him turning into that man for the short-haul instead of him being himself for the long. In addition, I would really like for someone to show me something new. Something i’ve never seen before… kind of like “you never know what you’ve been missing until you get it”. Understand?

So a woman walking into that environment already gives her a leg up… I foresee some 6th grade level comments coming from this statement lol.

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LL – But what are we suppose to do about the guys that were raised by women or don’t know how to treat a woman? We’re looking for a man to date & get to know. We’re not out here looking for someone to raise. All that is not on your mind when you’re out mixing and mingling!LOL!!

What’s “all that” to you is not “all that” to someone else and vice-versa. We are all imperfect. That’s why beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Ballwood – Preciate it. They purty, aren’t they?LOL!!

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Dude would never suggest doing/going but was always ok with everything I suggested… Would say “I’ve been married twice, I know what to do” After he got comfortable, didn’t want to do anything except lay around on my couch. I think he was looking for someplace to live, arrangement as described to me was suspect to say the least. I listened and observed carefully (another thing he liked to say he does), and sure enough something else he kinda sorta told me/but didn’t reared its ugly head… exit stage left.

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@Today

Are you really saying that a man can compliment you too much? Are you serious?

I mean are the compliments “over the top” or numerous? Really, what is the problem with your man complimenting you?

@Peach

I was paying you a compliment (a backhanded one, but a compliment nonetheless). Apparently, you can’t do that anymore these days….smdh

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Dan – COME ON! Obviously they are “over the top” or it would not be an issue. There IS a such thing as “too much” of a good thing! At a point, it is not sincere!

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Rell – At least you recognize!LOL!!

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