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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Numbers Game

Have you ever heard some outrageous statistic about the ratio of women to men in Atlanta? When I first moved here I heard that it was 15 to 1 or something like that. I know that dating can be a numbers game, but does that actually have an impact on how we are meeting and dating one another?

Do you even worry about the numbers or ratio of single people? Does it make us more competitive?

What do you think about the dating options in Atlanta? Are they working for you or against you?

Have you changed up your “type” because of the perceived ratio on the dating scene?

362 comments Add your comment

Grace

August 17th, 2009
2:05 pm

that should have been informing me…carry on!

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
2:06 pm

Le Siren

Wouldn’t they be the ones constantly on guard for their man checking out beautiful women? Wouldn’t they be the ones who are more likely to “mean mug” attractive women who show attention to their men?

I just think that it is a case of a female worrying about losing a dude the same way the she got him.

You know kinda like a female that gets a guy from his wife, but then worries that someone will get him the same way that she did.

You know my Sexy...AND my Cool...

August 17th, 2009
2:06 pm

PG – To the worried secretaries, I say, “Let grown people be grown and stay out of grown people’s business.”

Sometimes, ish is just too simple.

Ms. Main

August 17th, 2009
2:07 pm

Rell Dude, please….that’s Ms. B*tch to you. It never fails, if a chick ain’t in your amen corner, stroking your scorned ego, she disagrees or beg to differ, which in this case you jumped on my post, she’s a b*tch?! Riiight…if you say so.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
2:07 pm

Dan … sigh… that is what me & Today were talking about, the CREEPY stuff…sigh.. but okay!

Melo

August 17th, 2009
2:08 pm

Do most men think attractive women are more insecure than other women? If so, why?

ALL women are insecure,they wont admit it in ur face or call it insecurity.
If u dont believe it as a man,u just need to live with a female to appreciate it.
And i dont care how educated or independent u call urslef.
Thats why u men shld neva tell a female in public that her tatas dont line up nicely! :lol: :lol: :lol:

(this informercial is intened for men only..)

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
2:09 pm

Le SIren – They are also the ones who cant take it when someone doesnt think they are beautiful. Thats attitude is what makes the majority of them ugly. A beautiful chick cant handle when a dude treats them average because they have an inflated sense of themselves. My experience. I treat a woman like a woman no matter how she looks. She still has to sit down and pee, her breath stinks in the morning and she bleeds once a month..

Le Siren

August 17th, 2009
2:10 pm

Poppa

I just think that it is a case of a female worrying about losing a dude the same way the she got him.

That makes sense only if the women has nothing to offer EXCEPT

Le Siren

August 17th, 2009
2:10 pm

her looks…

Grace

August 17th, 2009
2:11 pm

PG – I’d be concerned too, just like friends don’t let friends drive drunk; friends don’t let friends marry a man she’s only met once!

Sexy- somethings do need intervention, just because you’re grown doesn’t always mean we make good decisions.

The Real Rell - benchs make my stomach hurt

August 17th, 2009
2:12 pm

@MS BY TCH….

if a chick ain’t in your amen corner, stroking your scorned ego

- HERE WE GO AGAIN…lol…i am not of that..and f u c k yo thoughts!!!!

Leggs

August 17th, 2009
2:13 pm

Melo is back in the house!

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
2:13 pm

“Let the record show I did not make any jokes yet about the Falcons today.” – Alright now Kym, I got my hand on your bra strap.

Congrats Swiss!!!

Anon: “finding an attractive, intelligent, heterosexual, college educated, employed, middle income+, child-free, never-married man who is my age (plus or minus 5 years) in this city is hard enough. but then i have the nerve to want him to be black, not a part of the judeo-christian-islamic religious tradition, and compatible?” – I got four friends that fit that description to a “T”.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
2:13 pm

DK – I’ve known some dudes who couldn’t take it when women were not falling all over them too! They were used to that kind of treatment whereever they went and could not handle being treated like the average human being that they were! Yeah, your ish stank just like everyone elses!LOL!!

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
2:14 pm

Le Siren – now of course there are those beauties that dont know how beautiful they are. Or the ones that want to be taken seriously that make sure they go overboard to be taken seriously.

The Real Rell - benchs make my stomach hurt

August 17th, 2009
2:14 pm

@swiss…are you marrying a sister?…wow…guess thats the game now…lol

where da white gurls..lol

You know my Sexy...AND my Cool...

August 17th, 2009
2:14 pm

But who says an intervention is necessary? She’s not robbing liquor stores to pay for a drug habit. She’s planning a wedding.

Don’t knock another person’s brand of happiness just because it does not subscribe to your beliefs.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
2:15 pm

it’s not really that serious.

It really isn’t. :D

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
2:15 pm

Ballwood likes it when Kimmie sigheses. Sigh again…..

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
2:15 pm

Kimmie – Ive seen that too.. Dudes that think I can pull any babe they want and when they cant get her they go into crisis mode..

Dan

August 17th, 2009
2:16 pm

@Le Siren

Her concern that men only want her for her looks (or the kiddy). She may feel as though no one “knows her” (a common refrain) or wants to get to know her for her.

Le Siren

August 17th, 2009
2:17 pm

DK

They are also the ones who cant take it when someone doesnt think they are beautiful. Thats attitude is what makes the majority of them ugly.

I just think that this way of thinking is a general stereotype of all very attractive women…you know the old “pretty women are ugly inside” song and dance. It’s almost as if people have to give them something to bring them down because they’re so “perfect” otherwise…
I know many women who are very attractive and also very nice people. Beautiful people are often stand-offish and aloof because they’re constantly being judged by others based on looks alone.

Dan

August 17th, 2009
2:19 pm

@DK

That 2:14 was right on. Mayne, those are the best women. That untapped confidence is a beautiful thing to watch blossom….

Jamoca - She "be" the light, when they're in the dark.

August 17th, 2009
2:19 pm

IMO I don’t think insecurities discriminate…whether the woman’s attractive, average-decent looking or not.

On one end, an (insecure) attractive chick constantly worries how she looks through the eyes of others, needs constant reassurance, usually wears (IMO) too much damn makeup and goes a little overboard with other “embellishments” in order to bring about more attention to herself…regarding “something” she already possesses – (hence all those layers)

The (insecure) unattractive woman simply worries that she’s not enough so she overcompensates in an effort to balance out what “she” considers her own personal shortcomings.

It goes both ways. From those who are “pleasing to the eye” to those who are “sore on the eyes”. Don’t matta.

Shoot, in this day in age, it seems a lot more folks are self conscious and/or insecure with themselves. Heck, we have 80 year old elderly women walking around trying to look like they’re 40 somethin’ (IF A DAY! < — for you My2C’s) ;) Lol but n/r.

Folks please learn to work what you’ve got and go from there. Damn.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
2:19 pm

Ballwood – Siiiiiigggggghhhhhh!LOL!!

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
2:22 pm

DK – In college, I knew this dude who was nice, but was not my type at all and I’m not just talking looks. He pledged Kappa and thought somehow that would make him seem more attractive to me – it didn’t!LOL!! He just could not understand!LOL!

Grace

August 17th, 2009
2:24 pm

you don’t say Sexy

Le Siren

August 17th, 2009
2:24 pm

DK

“now of course there are those beauties that dont know how beautiful they are.”

Now how exactly does an adult woman go throughout her entire life NOT realizing that she’s beautiful? With the exception of the very late bloomers in life, beautiful women start hearing that they’re beautiful from age 5 on…in my opinion, its not possible to NOT know you’re good looking! lol

Beautiful Girl

August 17th, 2009
2:26 pm

I am told all the time how beautiful I am. And I appreciate the acknowledgement. I know what I look like, but people do not want to hear ME acknowledge my OWN beauty. As a result, I regularly downplay my looks.

Not because I don’t know “how beautiful I am” but because it’s not received well that I do.

Melo

August 17th, 2009
2:26 pm

She still has to sit down and pee, her breath stinks in the morning and she bleeds once a month..

u aint neva lie.

And im guessing u said that as a compliment to ALL females,right!!!
Thats nature at work,but say that same sentence to a female in their face,u be sorry. :lol:
Say,to a landscaper guy,in his face,that his hands are rough and his reply,”oh,coz im a landscaper, i use my hands most times”

Women are from Venus…its a tiny lil planet!! :lol: :lol:

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 17th, 2009
2:27 pm

Chiming in on this “soft man” debate…my 2 cents

I know that many/most here may disagree with this, but to me the strongest men I know are the ones who ARE willing to be vulnerable or show vulnerability, who aren’t afraid of reversing roles to some degree. I have no problem whatsoever opening up to a woman, fixing dinner once in awhile, being romantic, helping clean, letting her get on top, whatever. Why? Because I’ve walked a “bunch of rough miles”, lived a long dayum time relying on ME, don’t owe anyone for what I have or do but myself, and “been rode hard and put up wet” a bunch. I’ve paid the price and have the scars to have earned the right to be whatever the hellz I want to be, and consequently could not care less if someone else thinks that is weak.

To me the “chest beating male” is usually mostly full of ish and usually if you scratch the surface, has an inferiority complex a mile wide, thus having the need to show how tough he supposedly is. The bravest men I have known (and I have known them through wars and tough neighborhoods) did not have to act tough, you could tell it just watching the confidence with which they walked.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
2:29 pm

Well, I am just ALL THAT and I KNOW I look good cause I tell myself that EVERY DAY! In fact, some days I creep MYSELF out with the excessive compliments!

LMAO!!!!

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
2:29 pm

Le Siren – Theyre so “perfect” otherwise.. Ok I get that you were joking, right?

Ok I guess I get it but can I just say youre reading kinda rough right now. Like you are one of those I think my ish dont stank chicks.. I’ll say this.. I dont care that you may think youre cute.. I’ll come to your house, use the bathroom and stink up the joint just as I would if I were at home.. Now what!

Jamoca - She "be" the light, when they're in the dark.

August 17th, 2009
2:32 pm

…now pulling one of Cee’s numbers… Cee Alright, sis you’ve been on leave long enough and don’t blame it on Lil’ G. That lil boy-chile’ ain’t dun nuthin’ to you. LOL Gal, where you at?!

Jamoca now handing Ms. Main a drink and showing her the way to a nice spot reserved just for her “in the cut”. And to answer your previous, yes ma’am we sure do…and a few others I might add. :) Now, c’mone nah… You (we) already know as tempting as it may sometimes seem, it really ain’t worth it.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
2:32 pm

Randy – I don’t disagree with you – what you described is a man that is sure of himself, confident in his manhood! That’s always gonna be attractive any day of the week! In fact, you just described my SO! I would not have it any other way!

Le Siren

August 17th, 2009
2:33 pm

“I am told all the time how beautiful I am. And I appreciate the acknowledgement. I know what I look like, but people do not want to hear ME acknowledge my OWN beauty. As a result, I regularly downplay my looks. Not because I don’t know “how beautiful I am” but because it’s not received well that I do.”

This is exactly what I’m talking about. Beautiful women know they’re beautiful. How can you not know something that’s reinforced to you on a daily basis?

i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)

August 17th, 2009
2:34 pm

Thanks, PG & Ballwood. A good time was had by all, no doubt. And I’m telling you, much to my surprise, the goofy groom-to-be paraphernalia is as effective as $$ in bringing the girls over to the table, but much more economical… :lol: The handcuffs, in particular, came in quite handy…

Rell — Yup, I am indeed. I’ve got nothing against white women, though — I just personally think the sisters are waaaaay hotter:-D

Dan

August 17th, 2009
2:34 pm

@Randy

I agree with that entire 2:27.

@BG/ Le Siren

There are women that, for whatever reason (usually a man/men) that have an adverse sense of their own beauty, and indeed their own self worth.

That, Le Siren, you cannot understand how that could happen, consider yourself fortunate.

@BG – humility is a beautiful thing, but playing down yourself becuase of how other’s perceive you is not fair to you. It’s a thin line between confidence and cocky. Walk it well sister.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 17th, 2009
2:36 pm

Re the “insecure women”…I thought they all were LOL. Seriously, the most insecure women I’ve encountered usually have been the really “hot” ones who flaunted their looks. One could speculate that they know deep down that those looks can be gone when they wake up the next morning and they are always acutely aware that those knockout looks are only temporary. I think there are some women who do not know how pretty they are, mostly because they did not develop as quickly as others in high school and got overlooked. Those are the kind I personally am drawn to.

Melo

August 17th, 2009
2:36 pm

I know what I look like, but people do not want to hear ME acknowledge my OWN beauty

so we meet and i say, “oh,u beautiful” u say what?? fckk u??!!
just to down play it??
Is that it??

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
2:36 pm

Le Siren – Some chicks dont think they are pretty at all.. Insecurities or whatever. They are 10’s but think they are 5’s. Or I guess its no big deal to them and they are just being.. I dont know.

Le Siren

August 17th, 2009
2:39 pm

DK-Like you are one of those I think my ish dont stank chicks.. I’ll say this.. I dont care that you may think youre cute.. I’ll come to your house, use the bathroom and stink up the joint just as I would if I were at home.. Now what!

You’re stupid! LOL I never said that I thought I was “too good” or anything like that…I never even acknowledged my own beauty in prior posts. I was simply stating facts…and you just proved my point. Attractive people get almost equal amounts of compliments and hate from others!

Jamoca - She "be" the light, when they're in the dark.

August 17th, 2009
2:39 pm

Loved that entire post Nicholas.

I’ve paid the price and have the scars to have earned the right to be whatever the hellz I want to be, and consequently could not care less if someone else thinks that is weak. Why do I see (picture) your face turning red with a little heavy breathing. LOL j/k Good post tho!

To me the “chest beating male” is usually mostly full of ish and usually if you scratch the surface, has an inferiority complex a mile wide, thus having the need to show how tough he supposedly is. The bravest men I have known (and I have known them through wars and tough neighborhoods) did not have to act tough, you could tell it just watching the confidence with which they walked. <— Less talkin’ cuz he’s too busy walkin’. Loved that one too!

Beautiful Girl

August 17th, 2009
2:39 pm

I also meet a lot of men who feel as if they have to “take me down a peg or two” just because I look like I do and who don’t believe that I’m not caught up in my looks.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
2:40 pm

Well, I am just ALL THAT and I KNOW I look good cause I tell myself that EVERY DAY! In fact, some days I creep MYSELF out with the excessive compliments!

LMAO!!!!

:lol: ;)

Is it bad if you’re so hot you can turn yourself on? :lol:

"Longtime Lurker"

August 17th, 2009
2:40 pm

@Kimmie…If common sense was so common, we would not have a reason to blog on a blog called “Misadventures in Dating” !!!

It has been proven time and time again that folks will not use common sense when it comes to anything, much less dating!

If more folks would just slow down and quit looking at the “shine” in a person and investigate what they can’t see, before making a move, more folks would not be on the sidelines licking their scars after a free fall! I even read the mistakes before they happen on this blog! People in general have the wrong approach to dating and this is why so many folks go through the stuff that is unnecessary and we spend waaaaay too much time talking about insignificant people, who won’t do right regardless!

I am not an expert in dating by all means, but I do try to take a slow approach to dating and ask many questions upfront observe and investigate before I commit to being involved with someone!

It took me years to understand that I did not have to try to screw every woman I met in the first 5 days and it was better to have 20 women who I had never been with, who were in my corner vs. 20 women I have slept with!

I have great relations with women to this day, who respect me for “not” being like the norm of men they meet and they also feel as though they can be comfortable around me, without me having a motive! This has proven to be a great reference point for me, when it comes to meeting more quality based women vs. just meeting women in general, because popular opinion goes a lot further with people when they don’t know you (translation for the slow folks – people talk and circles are very small. A woman will listen to another woman when a reference check is needed, saying that you are a great guy, with no motives).

I think we need to get back to the basics of dating and get to know each other first, and then go from there vs. everybody trying to find someone who can improve their bottom line! Atlanta has become a Mecca for folks fronting like they got it going on and nobody is honest anymore with themselves or anyone they come in contact with.

With all of that said, it’s like navigating through a land mine and if you move in the wrong direction, well you know what happens!

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
2:40 pm

I also meet a lot of men who feel as if they have to “take me down a peg or two” just because I look like I do and who don’t believe that I’m not caught up in my looks.

:shock:

Ms. Main

August 17th, 2009
2:42 pm

Rell, pees sitting down First thing first, learn to disagree without emotions. I’m a woman, if I do, I’m entitled…lol

Seriously dude, when I post, most times (not all) I just comment. I don’t address any one specific person because it’s a blog. I don’t care enough really whether or not any one said person agrees. If not, no biggie, my thougtts are still my thoughts. If so, good…we can share dialog. I’m not here to make friends, hook-up or hang out…not that deep for me. I like to read here because frankly I like reading (and laughing) at the thoughts of others. Sometimes I quietly agree, sometimes I think “great post.” Over all dude, I REALLY DON’T CARE. If I post and no response? Guess what, no love lost. If I address specifically? Again, no love loss. It’s a blog. I post VERY general but truthfully cause the in-depth details of my life are just that…mine. There are plenty posts that I read, that are not my experience…doesn’t make them not be true. When insinuations are hurled at me (such as I must be insecure), I NEVER respond to those type cause guess what? Why would I dignify that when you don’t know me. Now as far as the screen, try to be a bit more of a man when posting and not curse at the ladies on this blog.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

August 17th, 2009
2:43 pm

Hi Kimmie…you hit it on the head, but you worded it better, …”sure of himself, confident in his manhood”. Congrats on your SO…to me, that is what women should be looking for, IMHO.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
2:44 pm

If more folks would just

LL – Sign…..