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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Numbers Game

Have you ever heard some outrageous statistic about the ratio of women to men in Atlanta? When I first moved here I heard that it was 15 to 1 or something like that. I know that dating can be a numbers game, but does that actually have an impact on how we are meeting and dating one another?

Do you even worry about the numbers or ratio of single people? Does it make us more competitive?

What do you think about the dating options in Atlanta? Are they working for you or against you?

Have you changed up your “type” because of the perceived ratio on the dating scene?

362 comments Add your comment

Tazzee - On Cloud 9

August 17th, 2009
1:30 pm

I don’t know ‘why’…

On topic – I’ve heard the numbers too and like ARed said, I just always believed that there was ‘one’ out there for me and that was enough.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
1:30 pm

The problem in Atlanta is people don’t want to DATE, they want to get married or be in a relationship.

Ballwood – How does one get into a relationship or married without dating?

Dan

August 17th, 2009
1:31 pm

@Ballwood

Dang!!! (for the hate of the “curse word buffer”). That one there shot out like a .45 on a quiet night.

Good one

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
1:31 pm

“I don’t know comments like that still make me laugh…” – If you think it’s funny on the blog then you should see it in real life. Wait that didn’t come out right…..

“Not a meth lab” – Well there in lies the problem!

Grace

August 17th, 2009
1:33 pm

It’s a bar folks. Not a meth lab :lol: :lol: :lol:

Blow Me

August 17th, 2009
1:34 pm

BALLWOOD- Not only do they not date…But they want ALL THE PERKS of a relationship and sometimes marriage…Can you believe that….(insert eye rolling smiley here) lol!

Ms. Main

August 17th, 2009
1:34 pm

DK to your point….true story. I have a couple of friends where we’d hook up almost daily…lunch, outing, etc. One a male and the other, female. He’s sexy, not so much “pretty” but can hang a suite and yep has that swag thing going on. She’s gorgeous, simply beautiful. Half black half dominican, thick with it and into make-up and skimpy clothes. However she thought she was sooooo much beautiful than most of the chicks here but she was never competition for me. While there wasn’t a competition to be had, he had been and was ALWAYS attracted to me. I got it from the jump…..but from her expression when the two of us interacted during a threesome (as in lunch) or riding somewhere together….she ALWAYS carried a question mark and NEVER GOT IT. One day he asked me to ride with him and chatting about relationships our physical preferences, he asked me to define beautiful. I was a bit taken aback by the question but I named the 3rd friend….the thick with it chick. His response was, “I knew you’d say her. What about yourself? You’re a good looking girl and natural and sexy.” She even asked me about a year or so into becoming good friends why he always called me to set up lunch, why sometimes he didn’t include her and why he behaved differently with me than her….SHE NEVER GOT IT. I had a lot more going on than a big butt and a smile…okay that was corny but you get what I’m saying.

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
1:35 pm

“How does one get into a relationship or married without dating?” – I have no idea. That’s why I don’t understand these people crying about they don’t like to date. Maybe everyone should walk around with thought bubbles so it will be easier. Can you guess what my thought bubble says?

Ms. Main

August 17th, 2009
1:36 pm

Main: Beauty is only skin deep but crazy goes to the bone. It ain’t Halle’s beauty that’s the root of her angst. It’s the crazy!!

Ballwood yep, I get that too

Kym

August 17th, 2009
1:36 pm

@ARed one this is not about you. I know somedays you get your tail on your shoulders because you think it is about you but this is not about what you do or don’t do..it is about your suggestion on what Grace should do.

Grace has stated twice that she does not like the smell of cigar smoke and so that is not a place she would frequent. Why continue to drive home the point that just because it is a bar you don’t have to smoke? Grace is not concern with smoking a cigar..she does not like the smoke so she does not desire to be around it. The implication that I read is well you ask where to find a bunch of dudes in one location so this is what you will have to subject yourself too is what I am refering to. To suggest or imply that a person(woman) should go somewhere that would make them uncomfortable just to check out the action is high schoolish.

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i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)

August 17th, 2009
1:38 pm

“That is why I mentioned the strip clubs.”

Alert — keyword match… are we talking about strip clubs? Well in that case… :lol:

Saturday was the bachelor party, and I was coerced into making an appearance at the Cheetah. I was pleasantly surprised on a couple of levels:

1) I clearly haven’t been to the Cheetah in a while, because the last time I was there I was sorely disappointed in the, um, variety of the dancers. Saturday, there was a very nice selection of girls in my favorite flavor… :lol:

2) From now on, anytime I go to a strip club, regardless of the occasion, I will be wearing all the ridiculous crap that my friends made me wear because I was the groom-to-be. That stuff plays in the club… :lol:

Le Siren

August 17th, 2009
1:39 pm

The prettiest chicks are the most insecure. Beyonce dont do it for me.. I get cussed out cause I think Kelly is the one I would date. Kelly is naturally sexy and not manufactored sexy.

Do most men think attractive women are more insecure than other women? If so, why?

Dan

August 17th, 2009
1:39 pm

@Blow

Who is “they”? Men in general, or the guys you’ve dated?

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
1:40 pm

ALL THE PERKS??? Please explain these perks you speak of….

Main: Do you realized you used 3-way and ride in the same sentence? Sickm Melo.

i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)

August 17th, 2009
1:41 pm

“That is why I mentioned the strip clubs.”

Alert — keyword match… are we talking about strip clubs? Well in that case… :lol:

Saturday was the bachelor party, and I was coerced into making an appearance at the Cheetah. I was pleasantly surprised on a couple of levels:

1) I clearly haven’t been to the Cheetah in a while, because the last time I was there I was sorely disappointed in the, um, variety of the dancers. Saturday, there was a very nice selection of girls in my favorite flavor… :lol:

2) From now on, anytime I go to a strip club, regardless of the occasion, I will be wearing all the goofy/embarrassing crap that my friends made me wear because I was the groom-to-be. That stuff plays in the club… :lol:

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
1:41 pm

AR

How does one get into a relationship or married without dating?

Here is an example. it is easy in this time of internet dating sites. From what I understand, these site automatically split people up into group of what they are looking for. (Relationships, Dating, or anything kinky section). So, that takes part of it out of the mix right there. These sites were just getting started when I got out of the dating arena, but it sounds like the old phone line things.

Anyways, if a dude meets a female in the I want a relationship section of a sight, he knows that she is trying to settle down. It takes the “what are you looking for conversation” out of the mix and really can lead to some communication issues from the start.

We have secretary that is engaged to a dude from E-Harmony early this year. Her parents gave her a subscription to E-Harmony as a Christmas gift. The were paired in January, they met in March and got engaged in May. They only met in person in March. He lives in Chicago and she lives here. They met once in person and now they are engaged. There was no dating going on. Maybe some phone sex, but it is kinda hard to date someone and be numerous states away.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
1:42 pm

Back from lunch

LL – I hear what you saying, character is everything, upbringing, yada, yada, let a man lead, yada, yada. It’s just all been said so much before and been SHOVED down our throats by everybody writing a book, news column, hosts a talk show, etc. OF COURSE a man’s character should be the #1 thing on your list! What you said was common sense. What I was saying was that when you’re thinking about today’s topic, the numbers game in dating in ATL, the top reason to come in mind is not that a lot of men are raised by single mothers, thus they don’t know how to be a man! That’s all I was saying, kinda being facitous in a way actually!LOL!!

I’m SO FEELING Mamba though – yall need to go somewhere with this “LET a man be a man” stuff! No sorry dude I have ever come across was like that cause some woman wouldn’t LET him be something he was not. Either you ARE or you AREN’T! And you can’t keep using how you were raised as an excuse either!

Dan – I came at you about the compliments cause sometimes I think you debate stuff just for the sake of debating. I don’t think any woman would mind her man complimenting her 121 days out of the year, but if you got all the 121 in one evening that would be the issue! Me talking about that tv show & Today with her post were talking about extreme cases. You’re an intelligent dude, you knew that too.LOL!!!

Ms. Main

August 17th, 2009
1:42 pm

Do you realized you used 3-way and ride in the same sentence? Sickm Melo.

Ballwood Yep, stay with me dude…I wasn’t getting raunchy, I was making a point…but if you say so.

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
1:43 pm

Do most men think attractive women are more insecure than other women? If so, why? – Looks or no looks chicks are insecure by nature.

Who is “they”? Men in general, or the guys you’ve dated? – or Chicks?

You know my Sexy...AND my Cool...

August 17th, 2009
1:43 pm

Why this chick I know claims to have ‘changed this dude’s life’ just cause she got him a hook-up on a job?

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
1:44 pm

Kym – I wasn’t pushing her into anything. I don’t care if she sits in her house and picks her toenails each night.

I mentioned the cigar bar as a place where the men out number the women, and when she said that she doesn’t smoke, I CLARIFIED that smoking is not required, just like drinking isn’t required at a bar. When she then said she didn’t like the smell of smoke, I reminded her that I was not ordering her to go.

So yes, YOU read it wrong.

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
1:45 pm

Le Siren

Do most men think attractive women are more insecure than other women? If so, why?

I can only answer of myself, but the answer is yes. Many attractive women are insecure because they start to wonder if dude only wants her for her looks, and if that is the case, then she begins to wonder if dude will leave her if someone more attractive comes along.

Dan

August 17th, 2009
1:46 pm

@Le Siren

Not always.

But like some women can be complimented too much (still smh about that), so ladies can’t receive enough. She needs to be told everyday that she’s beautiful, cute, etc.

Insecurities run standard across the “beauty” scale

Jamoca - She "be" the light, when they're in the dark.

August 17th, 2009
1:47 pm

For the one head you do turn, be your best beautiful you, work on you FOR YOU…not to snag a man. Be confident, know when he’s worth the compromise and no matter how good/good looking, it’s not worth tolerating someone using jedi mind tricks. Relationships and love is not a life guarantee. Got to have more going on than that being your sole central focus.

Ms. Main Chica, you betta spit it! Loved that ^^^ there.

ON TOPIC

Thinking back to when I was a resident there, I must say its not something I put much focus on…nor do I put that much focus on it now (regarding the ratio). I will say, that I often got the “you’re not from around here, huh?” And the convo would go from there. And a good sense of humor and laid back personality didn’t hurt anything either. On looks…never been the type to spout off about this n’ that when it comes to my physique – really not my style and I’m really not a fan of those who do. However, any mature adult should already know, of course men are visual and having something (or rather someone) nice to stand back and admire, will possibly open the door, but it’s no guarantee that it will remain ajar…so one must have something else going on for him/herself. But I have been told that while it shows I’m confident, the fact that I’m humble about certain “attributes” speaks volumes. And I appreciated the compliment probably more than the ones that focused on more on the (external) visual.

Bottomline: I find it pointless worrying about such numbers from Tampa to Atlanta to Timbukto…so instead of putting so much emphasis on the quantity, I’m more prone to put more stock into retaining the only number that will truly matter at the end of the day —> One.

The Real Rell - benchs make my stomach hurt

August 17th, 2009
1:48 pm

@ms main…is that right….lol…do you have anything else to sell…lol

Ms. Main

August 17th, 2009
1:49 pm

Jamo What’s up chica? You know we share brain cells right?

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
1:49 pm

2E’s: I agree with you on that “let a man be man” BS. I don’t need anybody’s permission to be what I am. And I dayum sho ain’t asking no chick about something she has no clue about.

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
1:51 pm

Kym

Where does she say that Grace HAS to go there. It was just a suggestion that was made before Grace even said that she hated smoke. It was just thrown out there. Then, Sexy asked the fellas if females going to cigar bars was desperate. Melo and I answered that it depends that if it was something that the female could not do and against her beliefs and such, then it was.

There was never a peer pressure push in this instance.

Darn, Steelers win the Super Bowl and now their fans think they don’t have to read the whole blog to get inferences. Geez!!

Just wait until the Raiders win. It may not be until 2020, but we will talk all kinds of ish when it happens again. :lol:

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
1:52 pm

But like some women can be complimented too much (still smh about that), some ladies can’t receive enough. She needs to be told everyday that she’s beautiful, cute, etc. Insecurities run standard across the “beauty” scale

Dan-

See you contradicted your SMH right there. There should be nothing wrong with a dude complimenting a woman 24/7 till it’s creepy, but a woman actually WANTING that is something wrong, somehow insecure. That’s what I was talking about earlier, no need to SMH!LOL!!

The Real Rell - benchs make my stomach hurt

August 17th, 2009
1:54 pm

@pg…i was thinking the same thing

Ms. Main

August 17th, 2009
1:54 pm

Rell Don’t hate…yeah, lol but not really. I told you…yep you, Rell before, if it’s scally wags you frequent then, yeah, it’s far fetched. Ain’t up for bolo batting today, just saying.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
1:55 pm

It was just a suggestion that was made before Grace even said that she hated smoke. It was just thrown out there. There was never a peer pressure push in this instance.

:idea: I mean, really.

Glad to see I’m not the one tripppin. Must be putting 20 on 10 monday!!!

Grace

August 17th, 2009
1:56 pm

I will not be going to a cigar bar, a pool hall or any of the likes because I don’t like the smell of smoke even if it’s a standing room of men, sorry I will have to pass. Ared suggested it, I appreciate her suggestion however I decline.

Ms. Main

August 17th, 2009
1:56 pm

Rell Oh, I can carry my own….in the looks department….just not one for bragging so, no not far fetched. If I don’t say boo to some of what you post (that’s about as nice as I can come), please bother show me the same courtesy….k?

anonymousella

August 17th, 2009
1:57 pm

i gave up on the dating scene here about 4 years ago. the ratios never really bugged me because what i want is rare anyway. once i realized that my odds of finding a compatible man in this city* are extremely low, i stopped the hunt.

finding an attractive, intelligent, heterosexual, college educated, employed, middle income+, child-free, never-married man who is my age (plus or minus 5 years) in this city is hard enough. but then i have the nerve to want him to be black, not a part of the judeo-christian-islamic religious tradition, and compatible? even if i compromise on the religious bit, that still leaves me with — what? — 2 dudes. and they both live across town.

thankfully, some cities attract more smarty-art and not-so-religious types; my plan is to move to one in a couple of years.

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
1:57 pm

Suisse

Congrats on the Bachelor Party. I hope that you had fun, because that is its purpose.

clearly haven’t been to the Cheetah in a while, because the last time I was there I was sorely disappointed in the, um, variety of the dancers. Saturday, there was a very nice selection of girls in my favorite flavor…

I must agree with that statement. I went a few weeks back for a Bachelor Party and it looks like they got more variety. It was actually quite pleasant. It was early evening for us. 7-10 because it was just stop #1. But, it was just getting crowded as we left.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
1:57 pm

Just wait until the Raiders win. It may not be until 2020, but we will talk all kinds of ish when it happens again.

And hell yeah. :lol:

It will be like when the Red Sox finally won. Folks felt it was okay to finally die. Plugs were pulled all over Boston the next day. :lol:

Grace

August 17th, 2009
1:58 pm

PG a marriage proposal ater one face to face contact? that must’ve been a helluva contact! j/k

Dan

August 17th, 2009
1:59 pm

@Kimmie

I didn’t say compliment ANYone 24/7, that would be creepy. But accepting a compliment is akin to accepting a gift, sometimes it’s less about you getting the gift than the person wanting to give it.

Ex. If, as in my earlier post, a man complimented a woman 121 in a 365 day period, is that too much? For some ladies, yes; for some, no.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
1:59 pm

Grace – AGAIN no one was telling you to go to any of those places. You just mentioned never being to a place where the men outnumbered women. I NAMED one. No more no less.

Jamoca - She "be" the light, when they're in the dark.

August 17th, 2009
1:59 pm

meant Timbuktu. Lol

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
1:59 pm

Suisse

One more thing…the recent trip there was my first since I went with my boss to meet some clients back in 2004.

Got deals done in the Cheetah….that was interesting.

The Real Rell - benchs make my stomach hurt

August 17th, 2009
2:00 pm

@ms main…?…why would i battle you…”why you bringing up ol ish” like you know me…..its a cute story so you got the eye of your co-worker great…but i still was taking a stab at your self promotion ova another female that you are clearly threaten by…but its cool..i see you come in with the party line and “hate on rell”…you benchs are funny…

Melo

August 17th, 2009
2:00 pm

His response was, “I knew you’d say her. What about yourself?

Ms Main,did u check with ur other lady friend or with guy friend if she hadnt been pricked with it yet.
I liked ur whole post altho on reflection,guy friend was proly doing his rounds too, coz ms eye candy was kinda flat when he sampled.
What say u???

:lol: :lol:

Kym

August 17th, 2009
2:03 pm

Darn, Steelers win the Super Bowl and now their fans think they don’t have to read the whole blog to get inferences. Geez!! <<<We are looking for a repeat trip too. Seven Super Bowl Titles..sounds..good.

Just wait until the Raiders win. It may not be until 2020, but we will talk all kinds of ish when it happens again. <<<<I think 2020 is pushing it. Now 2025 ya’ll could be in.

Let the record show I did not make any jokes yet about the Falcons today.

Le Siren

August 17th, 2009
2:03 pm

Poppa Grande and Dan

I don’t know if I agree with your assessment that attractive/beautiful women need more attention or compliments that their less attractive counterparts…I would think that the average/unattractive chick would be much more insecure with themselves. Wouldn’t they be the ones constantly on guard for their man checking out beautiful women? Wouldn’t they be the ones who are more likely to “mean mug” attractive women who show attention to their men?
Attractive women know they’re attractive, so there’s really no need for someone to have to tell them that on a daily basis.

Ms. Main

August 17th, 2009
2:04 pm

guy friend was proly doing his rounds too, coz ms eye candy was kinda flat when he sampled.
What say u???

Melo I don’t ever fully buy at face value….EVER Heck, he’s a man. My point was on sexy and beautiful being more than surface and really if you got it, it ain’t really something you need to promote. Exude would be better.

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
2:04 pm

Grace

a marriage proposal ater one face to face contact? that must’ve been a helluva contact! j/k

Well, a few secretaries are genuinely worried about the whole situation. (I guess that with them being females they are privy to stuff that I’m not.)

It doesn’t seem natural.

Honestly, it sounds preteenager-ish to me. It is like the “Will you be my girlfriend? Circle Yes, No, or Maybe” Notes back in the day. But even then there was more inperson contact than this seems to be.

Grace

August 17th, 2009
2:05 pm

I never said you told me to go there, you were merely informating me …I responded….it’s not really that serious.