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Numbers Game

Have you ever heard some outrageous statistic about the ratio of women to men in Atlanta? When I first moved here I heard that it was 15 to 1 or something like that. I know that dating can be a numbers game, but does that actually have an impact on how we are meeting and dating one another?

Do you even worry about the numbers or ratio of single people? Does it make us more competitive?

What do you think about the dating options in Atlanta? Are they working for you or against you?

Have you changed up your “type” because of the perceived ratio on the dating scene?

362 comments Add your comment

Dan

August 17th, 2009
11:58 am

@Kimmie

A man paying his woman a compliment (let’s say) every other day would equate to about 121 compliments a year.

If your man can’t find 121 nice things to say to you about you, what does that really say about your relationship?

Now, giving toooooo many compliments is a problem? hahahahahaha

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
11:58 am

WOW!!! 404 777-9311

Dan

August 17th, 2009
12:00 pm

@Peach

My apologies if I offended you, without a frame of reference (before/after), I was generalizing. I did not intend for that to be a personal statement.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
12:01 pm

Cigar bar – hmmmm I’m not a smoker so I guess that won’t work

Grace – There is no rule that you have to smoke. Just like you don’t have to drink at a bar.

I am not a smoker either.

"Longtime Lurker"

August 17th, 2009
12:05 pm

I also want to add to my earlier post, dating in Atlanta is like this…

I am sooooo tired of folks saying “I am a good man”, “I am a good woman” The fact is this; the validity or true definition of a “good man” or “good woman” is in the eyes of the beholder or person you are trying to date, not you!

“Quit walking around with your resume on blast and expecting someone to be impressed with your credentials! It actually works against you more times than it helps you!

Atlanta is full of potential, pride and ego, but lacks few people who are humble and know how to play their position, where it benefits that individual!

If you are educated, then fine, keep it to yourself, it will come out without you saying it! If you are independent, then fine, keep it to yourself, it will be observed! If you are outgoing and ambitious, again, it will be noted!

Sometimes your downfall (women) may be the fact that you don’t know how to be humble and let a man be a man and lead! Sometimes you do yourself disservice when you talk too much or give too much of yourself too soon! Sometimes women you should be less competitive and more receptive to “All” possibilities instead of only a few!

Remember this, a man does not want competition at work and in his personal life!

The Real Rell - vanglorious

August 17th, 2009
12:06 pm

@dk..yea i got a good laugh out of that one….there is also some number where there is a recording or something..i cant remember that number..but she does not want to contact the blog pariah….do you peach…dwilliams2022@hotmail

@cigarchick…at a pool party this weekend a former co-worker came thru with her crew of chicks from the cigar bar…they were all tennitions..and they all had big a zz “boss hogg” style cigars…i thought that was so not sexy

Melo

August 17th, 2009
12:06 pm

I am not a smoker either

hey Ared/Grace! yeah i know,u just a hunter,right? :lol: :lol:

Grace,see,u dont have to drink/smoke to go out and meet guys…
:lol:

Grace

August 17th, 2009
12:08 pm

Ared – yeah but I detest the smell of smoke. I just remember about a pool hall I visited a while back, the hall was so smokey I needed an air mask, but there were massive men in there. I haven’t been back since because of the smoke. I just don’t like the smell.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
12:09 pm

hey Ared/Grace! yeah i know,u just a hunter,right?

melo – Never that! I am the prey. :twisted:

Welcome back.

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
12:11 pm

Rell

there is also some number where there is a recording or something..i cant remember that number

Yeah, 867-5309 was a song that was a big hit, too.

Grace

August 17th, 2009
12:12 pm

let’s say I do go to a cigar bar and I met a guy, we hit it off but with him being a smoker I would have to hold my nose around him because he reaks of smoke, and his kisses will be like kissing an ashtray.

You know my Sexy...AND my Cool...

August 17th, 2009
12:12 pm

Fellas – Does a non-smoking female in a cigar bar come across as a groupie or, worse yet, desparate?

Grace – I agree with you in that you should not go places where you are uncomfortable. If you meet a man in a smoking environment, you can’t be mad if he smokes and you got asthma.

You do have to do SOMEthing, but you really ain’t gotta do THAT much.

Blow Me

August 17th, 2009
12:14 pm

**It only takes “one” and with faith in God, it doesn’t matter what the odds are.**

ARED- I would hate to admit…we think alot alike. Is that why I don’t like you? I say this VERABATIM to my friends. It only takes one…Just one. You can play the numbers game however you see fit to your favor. But Do YALL really want to break those numbers down?

LL-**Two, there are many good, quality men handling their biz out there, the problem is that he may not always look like you want him to look, therefore, many women don’t feel like he exists!**

Lol..Funny statement. I am about to kill the whole gang with this one. Why do women have to expect less when it comes to getting a man?
When all throughout this blog…the guys are saying look like Beyonce and Halle…Look good and keep it tight. So if we have to do ALL of that way would we settle for GREMLIN…The reasoning never seems to make sense. MEN are constantly telling women to take a short. When women tell MEN to Accept a short…That act like is blasphemous…SMH!

I say this VERABATIM to my friends. It only takes one…Just one. You can play the numbers game however you see fit to your favor. But Do YALL really want to break those numbers down?

Grace

August 17th, 2009
12:15 pm

Sex – I don’t think she’s desparte, she could be expanding her horizon, I don’t know….finding that diamond behind the puffs.

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
12:18 pm

Sexy

Does a non-smoking female in a cigar bar come across as a groupie or, worse yet, desparate?

It doesn’t come off as any more desperate than straight chicks hanging in the Blue Flame, Magic City or the Cheetah if they are cool with that atomsphere.

IMO thing that is desperate is doing things out of your nature or not being true to yourself.

So, it is not a blanket answer for all females.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
12:18 pm

Grace – You are thinking to hard. Not everyone at cigar bars smoke. And if they are smoking, an occasional cigar does not make you a smoker.

I only suggested it because you’ve said you’ve never been anywhere where there were more guys than girls. I simply named a place. There was not an order that you must visit. :lol:

"Longtime Lurker"

August 17th, 2009
12:21 pm

@kimmie, on your 11:47. I have said it before and I will say it again! Sometimes the exterior package does not match what is on the inside! We all have to be detectives when dating! People give too much of themselves too soon in most cases! Women and men don’t ask enough questions, therefore, you find yourselves in situations that are preventable!

Most folks marry and never discuss each others differences in raising children or view each others credit report prior to marriage! We are living in an accelerated society where everyone wants everything on microwave and as a result, people are finding themselves in more ish that could have been prevented!

To answer your question, if I was considering getting involved with a man, my first questions would be aimed at his family structure and his relations with women. Second, I would point blank ask him did he grow up with his dad or did he have a relationship with his dad or any other father figures! I would also ask him does he have kids and what is his relationship with his kids, baby mom, ex-wife, etc. How often does he see them and what activities do they engage in when he is with them!

Character in a man or woman is “THE” most important trait and this should be the first item of importance on everyone’s list that you should be seeking in a mate. It is rare that I hear many people I talk to on the regular mention this trait in their laundry list of wants and needs in dating prospects.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
12:22 pm

IMO thing that is desperate is doing things out of your nature or not being true to yourself.

PG – Agreed.

The first time I went was because I was with a group that decided to watch the NBA playoffs there. It was fun. It was a nice atmosphere, and a great way to learn about something I didn’t know about before.

But a place like that does seem to divert whiny, complaining, close minded females too, so that’s another advantage. :lol:

Black Mamba AKA Princess Xiomara

August 17th, 2009
12:23 pm

I am so tired of people saying…”let a man be a man”. First of all…if he is such a “man”…why should someone have to “Let” him be one. Shouldn’t that just be? I mean I was born with a chocha so that makes me a woman regardless of what people say or think about me. Nobody has to “let” me be anything. I am who and what I am. I do not tout my education or anything. Who I am just radiates from me upon meeting me. You either like it or you don’t. But it doesn’t bother me. I will not change myself for a man for anyone who thinks there is something wrong with the way I am.

Grace

August 17th, 2009
12:24 pm

Ared I preciate the suggestion! :wink:

MR. Unknown

August 17th, 2009
12:24 pm

What up, guys… The number game plays a big role in a womans perception of the atl dating experince… Meaning,, If I hear another woman talking about there are not enough avail good brothers in the city, which is followed by half of them are gay, which is follwed by the Myth of the down low brother, to the rest are dogs,, If thats your idea of the dating pool then yes, your SOL, seems like a lot of women set themselves up for failure before getting out the gate.. Looking for the bad in a person, never equals success to me…

Since when does being nice a turn off, dang!! Now I got to be BEASTING on you all day. So I need to bring back the Guerilla punch? Guerilla punch you in the chest, everytime you do something I don’t like(me no like what you give as gift, (GUERILLA PUNCH!), me no like when you shake bed because im snoring at 3am, (GUERILLA PUNCH!!) lol

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
12:24 pm

ARED- I would hate to admit…we think alot alike. Is that why I don’t like you?

:roll: :arrow:

Melo

August 17th, 2009
12:24 pm

thanx Ared!

Fellas – Does a non-smoking female in a cigar bar come across as a groupie or, worse yet, desparate?

SexxyCool, it wld look desperate if she dont smoke nor drink,shes in there alone,her hands folded and waiting for the next guy to step up to her.
If she just enjoys the atmosphere and company of strange men for no other reason that just talk or sports,then its ok, i guess.
But i been to those places where the women’s sole purpose is to scope the next phine guy,stepping in with his sexxiness,and the women are all up and down,looking at them,wondering whose gonna step up to her.The look is smetimes obvious.
Thats a desperation move.

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
12:33 pm

AR/Melo/SexyC

I used to know dudes that would hang out at the old Shoemakers Warehouse in Amsterdam Walk just “scope Betties” aka hit on chicks. Now IMO that came off as desperate because the dudes were trying to buy shoes. They were looking for females.

However, I knew guys that went there because they were really into getting shoes and if they met someone while there, so be it. They weren’t looking for females, they were looking for a pair of Steve Maddens.

You know my Sexy...AND my Cool...

August 17th, 2009
12:33 pm

I see where you all are coming from. Thanks for the scenarios and explanations.

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
12:34 pm

Now IMO that came off as desperate because the dudes were NOT trying to buy shoes.

"Longtime Lurker"

August 17th, 2009
12:36 pm

I met the famous chef G Garvin a few weeks’ ago at a function I attended. He said to me that every woman he meets asks him if he is going to cook for them, his answer is always no!!

He reasoning made perfect sense, when he broke it down, as he stated that he only gives up that side of him to an individual when he is in a committed relationship with them and that he gives all but that piece to anyone he is dating!

Ms. Main

August 17th, 2009
12:38 pm

Do you even worry about the numbers or ratio of single people? Does it make us more competitive?

Like my mama says on anything, worrying is going to do what for you? I agree with many of the comments. I do think the numbers are somewhat skewed. Men have rotation. Those so-called 15 single chicks to a dude are chicks being recycled. If a dude ain’t really ready, nothing you can do, being the stand-up woman and all, will really suffice. There will always being not enough of this that and the other or too much of this that and the other and vice versa….same goes for chicks looking but not really. I say be the best chick I can be, head and shoulders, crossing my t’s and dotting my i’s (not perfection but on point), what’s there to worry about? Frankly, I’m not bothered at all by the numbers game neither do I wish to be a Halle Berry/Beyonce look alike. girlinthecity —>All the emotional ups and downs Halle has endured from getting the hearing slapped out of her ear to attempting suicide to hooking up with a sex addict should be indicative that you need more than good looks. So what you don’t turn as many heads as she or Beyonce. For the one head you do turn, be your best beautiful you, work on you FOR YOU…not to snag a man. Be confident, know when he’s worth the compromise and no matter how good/good looking, it’s not worth tolerating someone using jedi mind tricks. Relationships and love is not a life guarantee. Got to have more going on than that being your sole central focus. I just believe though, if you have it going on for you, how can you not attract? Just what I think.

Leggs

August 17th, 2009
12:45 pm

@LL, both your posts were fabulous!

@Ms. Main –> “For the one head you do turn, be your best beautiful you, work on you FOR YOU…not to snag a man. Bravo, since my divorce I’ve been working on that and the results are noticeable by everyone who knows me. Love yourself first before you could love another or even have someone want to love you!

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
12:52 pm

Blow ME – Because ya’ll know were visual.. Ya’ll are supposed to emotional and looks just arent that important because women strive to not be a cave mannish as men.. Come on make up your minds..

Deeva4Life

August 17th, 2009
12:53 pm

Great post Ms. Main!!!

Melo

August 17th, 2009
12:55 pm

<strong?I just believe though, if you have it going on for you, how can you not attract?

agree,to a point.To sell urself,u gotta be easy to look at and easy to talk to/with and ur mouf makes sense.
But like LL said,some look good to the eye and on the outside but go deeper,its all rotten inside.
A lot of females look good on the outside too,so the numbers are really inflated,on both side, i wld think.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
12:56 pm

Now IMO that came off as desperate because the dudes were NOT trying to buy shoes.

:lol: PG – Yeah, that’s a bit extra.

Bars are for socializing, drinking, fellowship, etc. Just because you throw a “cigar” in front of it doesn’t change anything other than you can smoke in there.

How silly would it be to deprive yourself of hanging with friends just because you don’t do one aspect of it. Pleanty of folks pass on the cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory, but still go. :lol:

And no, I’m not a smoker but have been persuaded to try a cigar. I get a “girly” one and am told not to inhale. No problems there. :lol:

I like it when the guy lights it for me. :twisted:

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
1:00 pm

G Garvin aint famous

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
1:00 pm

LL – But you said some good things

Kym

August 17th, 2009
1:02 pm

Are we still on topic? This subway 5 dollar deal is really the best.

Ms. Main

August 17th, 2009
1:04 pm

Thanks Leggs,Deeva4Life

Melo I can dig the fact that men are visual but for the most part, what a person is born with is what it is. Society says either you feel stuck cause the physical ain’t popping or you’re fortunate. I say neither.

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
1:04 pm

AR

How silly would it be to deprive yourself of hanging with friends just because you don’t do one aspect of it.

That is why I mentioned the strip clubs. I used to have female friends that would hang with us at the Gold Club and The Gentlemen’s Club. We paid for anything that they wanted at said club because they were good sports about it.

On another note:I just saw a commercial for Oprah’s show, and she will have the Bunny Ranch chicks on it. I’m surprised Oprah would have them on her show. Especially after her views against Ludacris and other rappers.

Ms. Main

August 17th, 2009
1:08 pm

and I think I’m good….maybe not to all but I’ve been told and shown (an appreciation for the outer) but a woman has to move on to better once she comes into her own and further into “womanhood.” That’s okay for focusing when you’re 20 and think “looks are it”…and I’m talking looks are it for me and looks are it—> for him, the dude, the cutest one you can find. You learn that it’s not as important when life takes you deeper than the surface. I ain’t gon lie though, a dude with a swag makes a sister have to focus harder…lol

Kym

August 17th, 2009
1:08 pm

@ARed I have friends that do a bunch of things I don’t like to do. Normally on those outings I don’t go. So if I don’t smoke, why would I subject myself to a place where there is smoking just to meet a dude? If anything, I wouldn’t want to meet a dude at a place I don’t frequent because if we do hit it off he might expect me to go back. That liking it because my friends like it or going because they are going played out in junior high.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
1:10 pm

We paid for anything that they wanted at said club because they were good sports about it.

PG – Nicely done. Yes, being a good sport is a benefit!

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
1:10 pm

Ms Main – Maybe Halle is crazy or the sex aint nothing.. The prettiest chicks are the most insecure. Beyonce dont do it for me.. I get cussed out cause I think Kelly is the one I would date. Kelly is naturally sexy and not manufactored sexy.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
1:12 pm

So if I don’t smoke, why would I subject myself to a place where there is smoking just to meet a dude?

Kym – Um…that’s not the point. So you lost me. Maybe you haven’t read all the responses yet.

Kym

August 17th, 2009
1:17 pm

I read enough..the implication is there.

Tazzee - Football season is officially here!

August 17th, 2009
1:19 pm

Can someone bring me a tuna footlong for lunch? – Zippppppppppppppp footlong tuna!

I don’t know comments like that still make me laugh…

Afternoon folks.

Dan

August 17th, 2009
1:21 pm

@DK

Right thurr witcha bruh!

Kelly was the quietly “the cute one”….

Poppa Grande

August 17th, 2009
1:23 pm

Kym

You seemed to miss the implication. If it was something in which she wasn’t being true to herself, then yes it is high schoolish. However, if it is something with which she was comfortable it isn’t high schoolish. As long as she is being true to herself, it is cool.

If she is compromising herself in anyway, then it is peer pressure-ish.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
1:25 pm

I read enough..the implication is there.

Kym – Then you read wrong. I’m not a sheep, and I do things because I want to do them.

A cigar bar is a bar. I like bars, I frequent bars. I meet my friends, I hang out, I watch sports. Doesn’t change because cigars are served there.

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
1:27 pm

PG – Thanks.

Good grief folks can run ish into the ground. ;)

It’s a bar folks. Not a meth lab. :lol:

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
1:28 pm

DK: Beyonce manufactured??? Naw but different strokes tho…

Main: Beauty is only skin deep but crazy goes to the bone. It ain’t Halle’s beauty that’s the root of her angst. It’s the crazy!!

The problem in Atlanta is people don’t want to DATE, they want to get married or be in a relationship.