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Numbers Game

Have you ever heard some outrageous statistic about the ratio of women to men in Atlanta? When I first moved here I heard that it was 15 to 1 or something like that. I know that dating can be a numbers game, but does that actually have an impact on how we are meeting and dating one another?

Do you even worry about the numbers or ratio of single people? Does it make us more competitive?

What do you think about the dating options in Atlanta? Are they working for you or against you?

Have you changed up your “type” because of the perceived ratio on the dating scene?

362 comments Add your comment

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
11:04 am

Peach: I tell you what you don’t want that’s easy. I want to know what you do want. Now that’s the 25,000 question.

Girl: Are you talking about dating or getting married? Also, 1 and 2 on your list are the samething and 3 should be held against the “baby mama” for being a “baby mama”, so you only really have 1 thang which is “they know they are a good catch” What’s wrong with a dude setting standards and sticking to them? You have standards right. If not, do you like alligators?

Dan

August 17th, 2009
11:04 am

@girlinthecity

Methinks me smells self-pity….

Of the 4 things you’ve listed 1 and 2 are virtually the same thing; #3 is a personal perference; and #4 is valid to a degree.

To address only #4, for a man to “set impossible standards” is the equivalent of a woman dreaming of “Mr. Right”. We each have personal preferences that drive us toward a certain type of person. To put on my Truth hat for a minute, why not figure out what your value on the market is and play to your strengths.

Regardless of “the numbers”, there are people that will buy the products (read: you) if you market it correctly.

Grace

August 17th, 2009
11:08 am

DK getting attention is one thing but getting the attention and keeping it is another thing, hence the term “I can get em, I just can’t keep em”

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
11:08 am

Ballwood – I would agree alot of women could have a good man if they expanded their horizons and opened up to new opportunities. See dudes date what looks cool and likes them and go from there. We dont get into careers or things like that. We only care that the chick aint trying to gouge our pockets and she brings something to the table.

The Real Rell - vanglorious

August 17th, 2009
11:10 am

They don’t respect someone who’s hard working and financially independent if they don’t look like a “dime”.

-whets your phone namber shawty…lol

ImAPeach404

August 17th, 2009
11:11 am

@DK – ok. Well, without going into to much detail – I use to be hella fat and I’m not anymore. I get way more attention now (nobodys surprised by that). But that doesn’t put the #s game in my favor or even it out. When I was bigger, I may have met 2 guys while I was out and end up with nothing. Now, I may meet 6 guys in one night and STILL end up with nothing!!! Lol. The numbers are still the same… 15 to 1 (approximately). There is still 1 of yall and 15 of us.

True there are more dating opportunities but that also comes along with more opportunities for a let down.

M. (pronounced m dot)

August 17th, 2009
11:11 am

My story in Atlanta is still the same. I compared it to shopping at Marshalls. You know there is a nice cashmere sweater on sale here but you have to look through the clearance section, the misplaced clothes, etc until you find what you looking for. Usually you are already exhausted!

I think there are alot of prospects here but its just so much fluff in every area so you just have to make it through all that. The numbers are really unrealistic. If its 7-1, only 2 are even worth dealing with.

Atlanta is like any other place I lived. There’s always going to be drama and issues, etc. Just stay true to who you are and always operate in integrity.

@Ballwood

LOL

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
11:12 am

Ballwood – Dogg you getting down today.. Again its ok for them to have standards but we should accept them as they are.. Bad credit, maniac ex, 4 baby daddies and living wit mama nem..

ImAPeach404

August 17th, 2009
11:14 am

@Ball – what I do want might change tomorrow. what I don’t want will remain constant.

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
11:16 am

Peach – Ok I might be wrong I just thought fine chicks could get boinked whenever they wanted too.

Grace

August 17th, 2009
11:17 am

I don’t know why some women think that looks will guaruntee a man. Look around, there’s some very ordinary looking people who are in lasting relationships or married. Expose the beauty you have within.

Dan

August 17th, 2009
11:18 am

@Grace

Keeping a man is simply keeping his attention. Not in a “look at me” way, but a “let’s see what all we can do together” kinda way.

That’s why people (women and men) that are set in their ways have soo many prollems keepin mates. Learn the one you with and go from there….

@Peach

Ahhhh, the “ugly duckling” syndrome….I love you ladies. Attractive, but look in the mirror and still see the unattractive version.

But here’s a secret; the same person you were when you were heavier, is the person that you are now. You actually have an untapped advantage, you (unlike the pretty girls that developed early) should have a personality. So finding a guy is the matter of weeding out the lames.

Chink

August 17th, 2009
11:21 am

Peach Sometimes its just not the right time also…try different venues for more stimulating men…we all go through “droughts” maybe focus on something else and he will fall right in your path!

Grace

August 17th, 2009
11:21 am

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
11:22 am

Grace – Amen to your 11:17! The plainest folks I know have spouses or SO’s! They may not be the “Halle” or “Boris” standard of beauty, but I believe everyone has something about them that is attractive to someone. Like Dan said, there is a market for what another finds attractive!

Like Judge Judy says in her book – Beauty fades, dumb is forever!LOL!!

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
11:23 am

Morning all,

I see the topic turned early today.

In any case, I’ve been hearing about the numbers since I left for college. They don’t dissuade me nor do they discourage me.

It only takes “one” and with faith in God, it doesn’t matter what the odds are.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
11:26 am

Shy one – That’s always how I’ve approached it, it only takes one! One is mine!

Today

August 17th, 2009
11:27 am

@Kimmie – “That would drive me crazy”, It does believe me. I have told him he can be Overkill sometimes especially with the compliments.

Grace

August 17th, 2009
11:28 am

Today

August 17th, 2009
11:30 am

Norvee Michelle

@Today he sounds insecure, I AGREE

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
11:31 am

That is one of the reasons why men have a hard time committing…they want to choose the best of the many choices and usually end up screwing up all of them. And yes, I have several of THOSE t-shirts also.

:lol:

RandyT – So true. Funny how that happens.

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
11:31 am

Peach: what I do want might change tomorrow. what I don’t want will remain constant. – You are proving my point. Women don’t know what they want but will focus with laser beam accuracy on what they don’t want. Why not put the same energy and focus into finding out what you do want? Like I said I can tell you what you don’t want that’s easy. Remember every rose has a thorn but it’s thorns you are focusing on.

Dan: agree

Kimmie: Beauty fades, dumb is forever – Heyyyyy don’t bad mouth the beautiful dumb chicks, they got a purpose too.

"Longtime Lurker"

August 17th, 2009
11:32 am

Great comments this morning! My take on this situation is this…

One, don’t buy into the whole shortage of men thing! My question is who had the time to count every man in Atlanta and measure the quality of said dudes?

Two, there are many good, quality men handling their biz out there, the problem is that he may not always look like you want him to look, therefore, many women don’t feel like he exists!

Three, folks often want what they are not themselves! If you are not the most educated, smart, attractive, credit responsible, independent person yourself, what makes you think that that person wants you?

Fourth, there are a very large portion of men in this country being raised solely by women, with no man in sight! There is nothing wrong with a woman raising a man, but a woman cannot teach a man how to be a responsible man!

Many men have had women take care of them their whole life, so as an adult, why should he suddenly want to be a man and take care of his woman? Many men feel it is okay to have a woman take care of them and not step up to the plate, nor do many women demand that that guy act as a man! Many men don’t know how to step up to the plate, so women should not be surprised or upset because those men were never taught the fundamentals of being a true man!

Fifth, we need to start being honest with ourselves and loose the fake notions that we are “all that” because the reality is that there are far more folks with major issues with their overall character vs. people who have themselves together!

AmazonRed™ - I'm shy...

August 17th, 2009
11:33 am

As for the ratio of women to men, I’ve never been in a room/outdoor activities where the men out numbered the women,

Grace – Hit the cigar bar scene. Women avoid it like the plague cuz you have to wash your hair the next day. So a woman walking into that environment already gives her a leg up, especially if she knows her stuff at that!

Poster

August 17th, 2009
11:33 am

#1. Mr. Right wants someone who will ADD to his life, not take from it.

#2. Mr. Right wants someone who takes pride in their appearance. How can we be proud of you, if you are not even proud of you. Exercise, workout, have a nice body. No excuses with that one. Peach confirmed it, change your body, change the # game. Think of your body as a resume when there is 10% unemployment and bills are due.

#3. To keep a Mr. Right, understand him! Ladies you are the complicated ones. Men are very simple. As long as you continue to keep our attention and meet our needs we will stay. Where you have many wants and needs, we have very few. Think of ours as being just as important as yours and treat them accordingly. Remember the 3 Ss

The Real Rell - vanglorious

August 17th, 2009
11:34 am

Three, folks often want what they are not themselves! If you are not the most educated, smart, attractive, credit responsible, independent person yourself, what makes you think that that person wants you?

-MESSAGE

your whole post was on point LL – CHUUUCH

ImAPeach404

August 17th, 2009
11:35 am

@DK – boinking game done changed! You can’t even rely on yall for that anymore. smh!

@Dan – nah, don’t have the “ugly duckling” syndrome. Lol. I had to laugh at that one. Thanks for the tip but I didn’t really need it. Maybe you can look at my situation and call it an “advantage” but I don’t. Big or small, finding a guy is always a process of weeding.

@Chink – I agree. Im very comfy with me and know there is nothing wrong with being single. I don’t like it, but I’m ok with how God has been working on me over the last 3 years.

Kym

August 17th, 2009
11:36 am

Can someone bring me a tuna footlong for lunch? I left my sandwich at home and I don’t want to go out in the weather.

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
11:36 am

Hit the cigar bar scene – or the barber shop, likka sto, rib jont

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
11:37 am

I have told him he can be Overkill sometimes especially with the compliments.

Today – Have you ever seen that show Millionaire Matchmaker? There was this guy(millionaire) that was nice-looking and seemed to have his self together, unlike some of the crazy dudes that come on there. Well, he went out with a young lady and they had the makings of what could have been a terrific first date with the promise of more to come. He ruined it by complimenting her every 5 minutes – “Has anyone told you you have the most beautiful eyes?”, “You are so beautiful”, etc. At first she found it flattering, after awhile it got creepy. She refused a 2nd date with him. Just goes to show, even money can’t buy confidence.

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 17th, 2009
11:38 am

Peach – For real ya’ll cant even depend on us for the boinkage.. Wow now Im at a loss for words on that one.. Please explain..

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
11:39 am

Can someone bring me a tuna footlong for lunch? – Zippppppppppppppp footlong tuna!

The Real Rell - vanglorious

August 17th, 2009
11:39 am

@p404….whats ya phone namber..lol

Fulfilling Me (SMILE!)

August 17th, 2009
11:39 am

“Expose the beauty you have within.”

Love it!

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
11:41 am

Kimmie: Have I told you that I like your fangas.

Peach: You can’t even rely on yall for that anymore. smh! – Awwww naw hell naw now. When Kym get her fill of tuna I’ll bring you some black cake.

Ballwood

August 17th, 2009
11:43 am

Fulfilling Me aka Touch Myself dese many times

Mike Jones (who)

August 17th, 2009
11:44 am

—I have told him he can be Overkill sometimes especially with the compliments.

Yeah you have to watch the compliments! Too many and you sound like a groupie lol, too few and she thinks you aren’t interested.

Fulfilling Me (SMILE!)

August 17th, 2009
11:44 am

Lol Ballwood. Cute that you would interpret it that way, but uh not so much.

ImAPeach404

August 17th, 2009
11:46 am

Women don’t know what they want but will focus with laser beam accuracy on what they don’t want.

@Ball – so, whats the difference between “standards” and “focusing on what you don’t want”? Straight up, I’m not going to tell a man what I do want b/c you run the risk of him turning into that man for the short-haul instead of him being himself for the long. In addition, I would really like for someone to show me something new. Something i’ve never seen before… kind of like “you never know what you’ve been missing until you get it”. Understand?

So a woman walking into that environment already gives her a leg up… I foresee some 6th grade level comments coming from this statement lol.

The Real Rell - vanglorious

August 17th, 2009
11:47 am

“Has anyone told you you have the most beautiful eyes?”, “You are so beautiful”, etc. At first she found it flattering, after awhile it got creepy. She refused a 2nd date with him. Just goes to show, even money can’t buy confidence.

-lol..this just goes to show…that brown-nosin does not work with women…that you have not slept with…now after you sleep with her its required you call her 349839483948394839483 times a day to tell her how happy and thankful you are for her being in your life..its also required that you give up your life to place your lips on her a zz daily..its like she is the sun and you are the earth and you revolve around her for everything….lol…..thats the problem…

this why i have rules and regs on first dates….etc etc…cause when you do the opposite….then you see what happens…

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
11:47 am

LL – But what are we suppose to do about the guys that were raised by women or don’t know how to treat a woman? We’re looking for a man to date & get to know. We’re not out here looking for someone to raise. All that is not on your mind when you’re out mixing and mingling!LOL!!

What’s “all that” to you is not “all that” to someone else and vice-versa. We are all imperfect. That’s why beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Ballwood – Preciate it. They purty, aren’t they?LOL!!

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
11:50 am

Rell – You had to see that episode. It was irritating just to watch it on the few snippets of the date they showed!

Balance, it’s all about balance baby.

MsM

August 17th, 2009
11:51 am

Dude would never suggest doing/going but was always ok with everything I suggested… Would say “I’ve been married twice, I know what to do” After he got comfortable, didn’t want to do anything except lay around on my couch. I think he was looking for someplace to live, arrangement as described to me was suspect to say the least. I listened and observed carefully (another thing he liked to say he does), and sure enough something else he kinda sorta told me/but didn’t reared its ugly head… exit stage left.

ImAPeach404

August 17th, 2009
11:51 am

@DK – Before (ish changed) you could always count on a dude to come serve you up. Now… dudes can turn down the nootsie b/c there are SO many options. Like Chris Rock said – the stock has dropped b/c the market is flooded.

Last week someone – don’t remember who – mentioned having to wait. He said after a while, he loses interest in it. So, if a female holds her cards to long dude will move on.

@Rell – 404.777.9311

Dan

August 17th, 2009
11:53 am

@Today

Are you really saying that a man can compliment you too much? Are you serious?

I mean are the compliments “over the top” or numerous? Really, what is the problem with your man complimenting you?

@Peach

I was paying you a compliment (a backhanded one, but a compliment nonetheless). Apparently, you can’t do that anymore these days….smdh

The Real Rell - vanglorious

August 17th, 2009
11:54 am

@P404…CUTE….lol

@kimmie

Rell – You had to see that episode. It was irritating just to watch it on the few snippets of the date they showed!

Balance, it’s all about balance baby.

- whats funny i use to be that dude…and depending on the stars…moons..and quasars…and a hard penis…i can revert to the above activity….lol

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
11:54 am

Dan – COME ON! Obviously they are “over the top” or it would not be an issue. There IS a such thing as “too much” of a good thing! At a point, it is not sincere!

Grace

August 17th, 2009
11:55 am

Cigar bar – hmmmm I’m not a smoker so I guess that won’t work :oops:

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 17th, 2009
11:56 am

Rell – At least you recognize!LOL!!

ImAPeach404

August 17th, 2009
11:57 am

@Dan… i recognize a backhanded compliment when i see one. hence, the response. sMh