accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

It Might Get Loud

I caught up with a former coworker recently who told me that she had a dating dilemma. She had to tell her new man that she has a checkered past and she wasn’t sure how he would react. Carmen grew up in foster care and then went to a group home as a teenager. She made a lot of mistakes as a troubled teen and has a bit of a criminal past.

It’s nothing outrageous and it was a long time ago, but she is concerned about how her boyfriend will perceive her. She admits that he can be pretentious and she is afraid that he would get upset when he finds out that she didn’t grow up like he did, in a wealthy family.

When you are dating someone knew, how worried are you about opening the closet of skeletons? What if your skeletons are fresh and new, and in the not so distant past? Do you reveal it before an exclusive relationship has begun?

Have you ever dated someone that shared something about their past and it was a huge deal breaker for you? How did you handle that?

296 comments Add your comment

Ms. Main

August 13th, 2009
1:18 pm

DK and why (will Jesus) not pardone me? lol

Leggs

August 13th, 2009
1:22 pm

@Infamous, loving the smile…thank you. I read where you have “trust” issues. Baby, come lay your head on my chest and tell me why. You can trust me!

i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)

August 13th, 2009
1:22 pm

RE: Postal Service as an example of government run services…

Actually, the postal service works quite well, I’d say. True, prices do go up, but they’re still much more affordable than private options, and as for performance… I’ve never had a problem with them. People like to act as if the PS (and all government services) are such a mess, but in reality it’s pretty darn effective.

chink

August 13th, 2009
1:25 pm

Right Swiss I have yet to hear a postal service employee complain as a matter of fact its hard as heck to get in…most retire with great benefits.

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 13th, 2009
1:27 pm

Im running for president and I am gonna start balancing the budget immediately..

1. Im having a come to Jesus party for illegal aliens. Start paying taxes and get a green card. If you dont and we catch you we are gonna reinstate public hangings..
2. Im legalizing Hemp-a-saurus Rex.. All you out of work farmers start growing it so we can export the best Nice Dreams in the world.. California will be known as New Masterdam.. No wait we already have a New Amsterdam, so New York you win by default. I have friends that will personally QA the product and believe me this product will be stringently tested.
3. Im bringing our troops home and if you terrorist attack us, I personally will give the order to nuke the country of origin.
4. If you dont like us as a country then you cant get no more of our money..

Thank you and goodnight.. If you have any more questions please speak to my assistants.. Ms Moneypenny and Ms. P-ssy Galore.

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 13th, 2009
1:31 pm

Ms Main – Because he said youve been a dirty girl..

Leggs – Stop it now babe I gots to be hard. I cant be over he blushing and carrying on..

Oh and for all the folks that dont accept me.. I gots one thang to say. “I aints no criminal, I can read”

Poppa Grande

August 13th, 2009
1:35 pm

Suisse

Postal service has serious financial issues. they are considering cutting another day of service. Tuesday is the proposed day to do that.

If works fine if you look at it by itself. However, by comparing to private companies of UPS and Fed Ex, it doesn’t look quite as well. UPS and Fed Ex generally are more reliable. Sure the cost is more for them, but you get what you pay for. Especially if you look at the fact that some tax money goes to the USPS (it is a gov’t department) and then you still have to pay a pretty penny for overnight delivery. So, you are actually paying twice still have some services taken away.

As a whole, I don’t think that all government services are bad. I laugh at folks that talk about how bad gov’t housing is. I laugh because I would venture a guess that most Americans have some form of government housing. My dad is a Vietnam Vet, and got his loan through the Dept of Veterans Affairs. Those loans are 100% guaranteed to lender. Therefore, the government pretty much buys those houses. I’m sure that plenty of folks got their loans through the VA. Same goes for FHA loans.

As a whole, it works pretty smoothly. Even in these times, VA loans are some of the more stable loans because the lenders are guaranteed their money.

Jamoca - I AM Exactly who I say I AM

August 13th, 2009
1:44 pm

ON TOPIC

Regarding the young lady who acknowledges but yet and still self conscious about her past (upbringing)…The answer is definitely a yes. However, IMO she needn’t feel as if she has to lay everything (all at once) out on the line (as it has already been said). But total upfront, honesty is best. And I really don’t see much (that WD has divulged) to be that ashamed of…it’s obvious she took the a few lemons she was dealt and made a nice pitcher of lemonade out of them…so there should be obvious signs of growth; and not solely for his observations, but she should have the ability to see this herself and instead of beating herself up about “what was” she should actually be damn proud (of course without the “chip”). But looking from the outside in, I see no “real” problem here.

As for myself and my past. Yes, there is much to tell…

And it wasn’t until about the age of 21 that I began to realize the serioiusness of my actions and therefore dealing with them fully and I also remember around that particular era, is where that humility began to set in. Although I’m passionate about certain subjects, having that humility just balances it all out. So when it came down to sharing my past as it came up in casual conversation in that whole “get to know” phase, well it made things a little easier, however there was a time or two that I had been told that he could sense that I was experiencing some difficulty in simply discussing certain subjects – that guilt vs humility going on. But on the other hand was commended for being honest (accountable) for my actions nonetheless, (as expected).

So all of that to say, thinking back it was moreso “Me” having an issue with my past, not the other way around (at least from my experience). Heck, it seemed I had a story to tell, for every situation (when the inquiry was made). It has also been my observation that some folks tend to beat themselves up so much more than the masses and/or society ever could. So as soon as I recognized that pattern and once I got over that hump, it made the situation a whole lot easier to deal with/accept and focus more on where I was headed, and less emphasis on where I had been.

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 13th, 2009
1:48 pm

Ms Main – Jesus just called and said youre good.. It was the Ms. Maine that he has major concerns about.. Sorry for the inconvienience.

mytw♥cents dba d♥s centav♥s

August 13th, 2009
1:51 pm

I thought dirty girls got redemption by drinking the Blood of Jesus… so I should be as clean as the driven snow by now! Ahhh Glow-ry ;)

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 13th, 2009
1:55 pm

My Two – Curse you dirty girls! Always repentin and carrying on.. Im like em soiled. I even got my own special brand of Jesus Juice..

Leggs

August 13th, 2009
1:55 pm

@Infamous, there’s enuf “hard” brothers on this blog. Be true to thyself. From what I’ve read, your “hard” days are behind you.

I believe someone already said this, but your past has definitely molded the person you are today. We all have learned from idiotic mistakes we made. I have plenty of lessons that I’ve thrust upon myself and sitting in the back of a police car almost on my way to jail helped to mold a particular facet of my being. All puzzle pieces will come together if your honest enough with yourself to fit the pieces where they belong in order to make yourself whole!

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 13th, 2009
1:57 pm

Disclaimer – I do have a personal relationship with our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and I do talk to him regularly. However there is no need for the padded room and locked doors..

Jamoca - I AM Exactly who I say I AM

August 13th, 2009
2:03 pm

All puzzle pieces will come together if your honest enough with yourself to fit the pieces where they belong in order to make yourself whole. I like.

Ms. Main – Hey chick, that’s just his way of sayin’ he’s diggin’ the new alias. ;)

Ha! Mytwo – I remember a time when I stopped partaking in communion for believing just the opposite. …and speaking of being purged today…Jamoca now yodelling to the blog mountain top “Riiiiiicccooooolllllaaaaaa” Lol

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 13th, 2009
2:06 pm

I agree with Swiss & Chink on the USPS. I think the financial issues they are dealing with have a lot to do with the fact that folks just are not using the mail as much as they used to. Think of all the bills you pay online now as opposed to mailing. Technology has changed the game too. Everyone is being hit for different reasons. As for the private companies being more reliable, I’d like to see a study. Personally, I have not had any more problems with one versus the other. All are gonna have a error rate because they are all run by humans, who are not perfect.

For Real

August 13th, 2009
2:18 pm

Social Services Provided by the Government:

1. Medicade/Medicare

2. Food Drug Administration

3. Housing & Urban Development

4. FEMA

5. Dept. of Health & Human Services

6. Dept of Education

7. Dept of Agriculture

8. FDIC

9. Dept of Consumer Affairs

10. CDC

11. Dept of Welfare

12. Dept of Energy

13. Dept of Labor

14. OSHA

Ms. Main

August 13th, 2009
2:21 pm

Ms Main – Jesus just called and said youre good.. It was the Ms. Maine that he has major concerns about.. Sorry for the inconvienience.

DK you had me sweating there for a minute….whew

Raqi

August 13th, 2009
2:22 pm

FedEx and UPS better have better service the then USPS. I pay them $16 to deliver a letter overnight here in Georgia compared to $0.44 that I would USPS to deliver it in 2-3 days.

Dan

August 13th, 2009
2:22 pm

@For Real

Point of order: the FDIC is funded completely by insurance premiums from the banks they insure.

For Real

August 13th, 2009
2:23 pm

You know I say lets get rid of all the social programs in this country and let the states pay for it themselves. That would balance the budget with the quickness.

DOL
OSHA
Medicad/Medicare
Social Security
FDA
Bank Regulation
Stock Regulation
FBI
CIA
DEA
NSI
DoD
Dept of Welfare
Federal Pen
All Branches of Miltary
Foreign Affairs
Commerce Dept
Post Office
Dept of Health & Human Services

Ms. Main

August 13th, 2009
2:24 pm

Ms. Main – Hey chick, that’s just his way of sayin’ he’s diggin’ the new alias.

Jamoca What’s up lady.

Raqi

August 13th, 2009
2:26 pm

service the then USPS

That right ^ there is the results of typing with your hands full of baby butt. LOL

mytw♥cents dba d♥s centav♥s

August 13th, 2009
2:28 pm

Hmmph Jesus Juice, huh? Fell for that one time too many. Ain’t taste nuthin like what Pastor nem gave at the altar and why come y’all givin out more than a sip…

JAMOCA Chick, what got you sangin from the mountaintops n stuff? Got ya lil khaki shorts n hiking boots on playin Mountain Rescue with some Neantherdal, aintcha… tell him cuzn to call me hahahaa

Speakin od da Lawd, my coworkers n I used to play Confessional Thursdays. Somebody tell me a secret.

Beautiful♥

August 13th, 2009
2:29 pm

**I always said if I ran for public office..I was going to save the media the trouble. I would have a binder printed of all my ex loves, and drama, my families stuff(they love to say what your family did) and then when folks start asking me stupid questions unrelated to the issues I would say..Please refer to page 43 in your binder, paragragh 3 line 2..should answer that.**

i love it!

what did one tampon say to the other tampon? we two stuck-up bytches! lol.

i like when you throw a bbq and ppl text you and ask *ang, what you want us to bring?*

For Real

August 13th, 2009
2:30 pm

Dan: Yes they are but it is still a social service to the citzens to promote confidence in banks.

Ms. Main

August 13th, 2009
2:33 pm

Raqi How’s $23.00 for you…FedEx that is. Grant it, I was sending outside of Georgia but gheesh, for a few more dollars I could have delivered personally.

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 13th, 2009
2:34 pm

The 34 million dollar question is? Who is Ms Main?

Ya’ll know I cant keep up with the name changes..

Ms. Main

August 13th, 2009
2:37 pm

DK The 34 million dollar question is? Who is Ms Main?

Me

Beautiful♥

August 13th, 2009
2:38 pm

on topic:

the one positive thing i did in my past may bite me in the azz one day. i actually feel it now. y’all know i got my tubes tied and fried, right? well, most of the guys i date are younger than me and tend to slip in the convo how they wouldn’t mind having more babies. i try to beat them to the punch, but sometimes i feel its too early to deliver info like that.

right now i’m feelin’ the heat and hoping he doesn’t get turned off when i break the news to him. i’m not a selfish person, but right now i feel as if i am. *sigh*

i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)

August 13th, 2009
2:41 pm

PG — Agreed. But why must the measure of effectiveness be profitability for everything? I find it hard to believe that we can’t find a way to provide some sort of public option for basic health care for less than what we currently spend. We spend more per capita on health care than any nation on earth, yet we have comparatively very poor results to show for it. Clearly the private sector isn’t that effective in this case, either.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

August 13th, 2009
2:42 pm

Raqi – I stopped paying the overnight rate to mail my grandmother stuff in S. Georgia. I’ve done the priority rate of $4.95 and most of the time it gets there the next day.

Beautiful♥

August 13th, 2009
2:44 pm

would you call bustin’ out the trick’s car windows, the one who slept with yo man, a criminal background? i wouldn’t! so i’m good. lol.

Dan

August 13th, 2009
2:45 pm

Swiss is a socialist! Git ‘em!!!

i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)

August 13th, 2009
2:46 pm

@ Dan:lol: Well, I am swiss, right?

For Real

August 13th, 2009
2:52 pm

Raqi: Shouldn’t you compare overnight service to overnight service? It sounds like you are okay with paying $16 for overnight service to UPS and FedEx but you want overnight service from USPS for .04.

Swiss: the funniest thing about those protesters is that all of them appear to be on Medicare or VA benefits.

M'

August 13th, 2009
2:56 pm

USPS does very well with overnight and priority deliveries…my parents have been priority shipping to me for years from IL…to both GA and VA…I usually get the priority the second day…and the overnight is always delivered by noon the next day…or it is FREE!!!!!!!.

Ms. Main

August 13th, 2009
2:58 pm

would you call bustin’ out the trick’s car windows, the one who slept with yo man, a criminal background?

Angie, I hope you did double to him….since you took that route

Beautiful♥

August 13th, 2009
3:00 pm

@MsM
i did. believe that!

mytw♥cents dba d♥s centav♥s

August 13th, 2009
3:01 pm

RAQI If you pay me at that escalated rate, I might hand deliver it for yu.

Infamous, Ms. Main used to just post as “lurker.” Like several others. But she was the main one. With much loving harrassment, she has chosen to embraced the title.

In a Hard Place

August 13th, 2009
3:02 pm

I’m not sure if you all are off the topic just yet. However, had a question i needed to get some help/advice/view points on. Let’s say you had a close friend or relative that has been dating this particular person for almost 2yrs. Has been by their side dealing with the SO’s kids and other things all while they are going through a divorce. Ok, these two have plans to get married and are basically in a real deal relationship…the kicker. What would you do or how would you handle the SO sending you a very inappropriate video of themselves doing something folks normally do alone? You’ve already deleted the video because you were so shocked at what it was when you opened it. You don’t want to be the ‘tattletale or person to rock the boat’ in their relationship and knows how that friend/relative feels about the SO as far as creating a life together.

Raqi

August 13th, 2009
3:02 pm

Ms. Main that’s what I am talking about. You pay 35 times more just to get it there a day earlier. Folks complain about USPS or as some say “snail mail” but what more could you ask for at $0.44 per letter.

Kimmie I try to avoid when I can. And you are correct sometimes USPS can get it there next within the state.

Ms. Main

August 13th, 2009
3:04 pm

With much loving harrassment, she has chosen to embraced the title.

Yes, thank you much My2

Kym

August 13th, 2009
3:05 pm

@For Real

You can’t just throw out the Consitution like that. All the agencies you named are Admin Agencies and most have state counterparts. Those agencies exist because Congress and the Executive branch are charged with doing the job each of those agencies do. (If you think progress is slow now..put Congress on the job of approving Tax Codes, and the court system adjudicating claims for UI or disability.)

The agencies function as a mythical 4th branch of govt doing job that the three branches are charged with doing. Taking away agencies is not the answer, maybe group some agencies together would work..but doing away altogether. That is not going to work.

M'

August 13th, 2009
3:05 pm

The only advantage of FedEx and UPS, IMO, is that you can schedule a pick up or have a delivery box if you are a business, etc…and UPS for ground deliveries is very reliable…but Greyhound will do it to for cheaper…lol…the prices for overnight delivery between the USPS and the other carriers is a real deal maker for me.

Raqi

August 13th, 2009
3:06 pm

No ForReal what I am saying is sometimes the service is not that much better for the higher price.

LOL TwoLincolns, sometimes I feel the same way. I was going to send a package to my son once and for the cost it would have been a few dollars cheaper for me to drive it up there.

Beautiful♥

August 13th, 2009
3:06 pm

@Hard
so you rec’d a nasty video of her man playin’ with himself, right?

Mo (aka Moeisha aka Katt)

August 13th, 2009
3:07 pm

Alright Party People….so what are we talking about now???

:smile:

Kym

August 13th, 2009
3:08 pm

In a Hard place, I have to ask why does said friend or relative SO’s have your number in the first place? I have cousins and friends cell numbers but I don’t have their husbands or boyfriends numbers. So why does he(I am going to assume he..men love sending pics like that) have yours?

Beautiful♥

August 13th, 2009
3:09 pm

@M
the advantage for me is when you can go online to see the date and time your stuff will arrive/get there . . . and who signed for it. i often pay the price just for that.

In a Hard Place

August 13th, 2009
3:09 pm

Beautiful Exactly!