More than a baby
I’ve been hearing about a lot of weddings in the last few months, tis the season for it, you know. I can’t help but feel a little relieved when I see people my age and younger getting hitched, though. I suppose you start to wonder if are still considering it. I’m sure you’ve seen all the articles and statistics about how we are delaying marriage for whatever reason. Some of us even opting not to go that route altogether.
For a long time I thought it was impacting our options with dating: either you meet the type that views marriage like a miserable abyss that no sane individual would dive into; or you meet the type that feels that they have all the time in the world left to do that “family thing and settle down”. You know because they are way too busy living it up and enjoying that carefree lifestyle (Guilty!!). Then I think there is the type that only wants to procreate, and that’s it. They just want a baby, marriage is, well optional.
What about getting married just to have a family? Is that the wrong motivation to do it? I remember my mother said that when she was growing up, it was the thing to do. You graduate, you meet the good man and you start building a life. Her primary reason for getting married was to have kids.
Have you been to any weddings this summer? Have you found that people are still into marriage and raising a family together? Is there more than a baby and the desire to have children motivating us to seek one another?
I still meet a lot of men who are marriage ready. They are looking for a good woman to marry and they don’t really want to wait for you to get on their timetable. If you aren’t ready, they will simply find the one who is ready and willing to marry them. Passion, compatibility, and love? Yeah well, to them, those things are nothing to hold out for. What do you think? Should you want to marry if that is missing?
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574 comments Add your comment
Poppa Grande
August 12th, 2009
1:33 pm
Raqi</strong.
Poppa you gonna make me get the marido to pull out the vinyls tonight. LOL
The wife pulled some of my Luther Vandross vinyls out on Saturday. My turntable hooks to the computer, though.
I won the Luther Vandross albums from some call-in promotion on Kiss 104.1. They gave me 5 albums (not CDs).
My nephew looks at the LPs and asks “how do you play these big CDs?”
W8©
August 12th, 2009
1:33 pm
@PG- I had no clue
AmazonRed™
August 12th, 2009
1:34 pm
so I took it outside to play with it and my army men…
I just hollered on my damn conference call.
Mo (aka Moeisha aka Katt)
August 12th, 2009
1:34 pm
OMG! okay I found lots of ahem…papers in those records too!
W8 – I am still laughing at you and the mini trampoline! DAYUM that ish is hilarious!
And my father also had those huge cans of beer Schlitz I think, right next to the stereo. WOW
Poppa Grande
August 12th, 2009
1:36 pm
Kym
I am sitting here listening to the full version of Rapper’s Delight on my pod.
The full version of Rapper’s Delight might take the entire workday. That song is long. I heard Apache last night when Chipper Jones hit a home run ……
W8©
August 12th, 2009
1:38 pm
hey it looked like a mini trampoline to me..so i would just bounce my army men off of it. She never told me what it was…i was grossed out years later when I found out what it was…yuck
Poppa Grande
August 12th, 2009
1:39 pm
W8
I had no clue
I believe you.
I found a tube of KY jelly once and thought that it was like neosporin. I put it on my knee after falling off my BMX bike. lol
AmazonRed™
August 12th, 2009
1:41 pm
hey it looked like a mini trampoline to me..so i would just bounce my army men off of it.
And nine months later, your little sis was born.
Grace
August 12th, 2009
1:41 pm
W8©
August 12th, 2009
1:42 pm
@PG- LMAO..@ the KY
@Ared- now that i do the math…hmmm she is ten years younger than me
Raqi
August 12th, 2009
1:45 pm
W8 that ain’t no worse that my babe brother making water balloons out of condoms. He took them from my oldest brother’s drawer.
Kym-the magic number is 42
August 12th, 2009
1:46 pm
LOL@W8 I think the reason sex doesn’t bother me so much is cause I grew up knowing some stuff. Plus I was curious and read everything. I found “personal massage items” and magazines.
AmazonRed™
August 12th, 2009
1:49 pm
@Ared- now that i do the math…hmmm she is ten years younger than me
Magnum
August 12th, 2009
1:49 pm
…………….LESBIANS ARE COOL.
W8©
August 12th, 2009
1:50 pm
lol@Raqi
@Kym- I’m a sexual person it doesnt bother me that much either..I think kissing is way more personal than the act of sex…I was curious at a young age but they didnt have “mini-trampolines” in my step dad’s stash of playboy,penthouse or his porn he had hid on his Beta tapes…
Leggs
August 12th, 2009
1:50 pm
@ForReal ~ what is your first sentence @11:48 referring to?
@ARegular ISC ~ leave that man alone. He’s getting his appetite fed all the while you sit at home late at night wondering if you’re being foolish. If you have to wonder, then YES!
@LadyLow ~ I like reading you because you’re keeping it real. Phuck them, perhaps feed them, then send them home! Yep!
@PoppaG ~ I was in Southlake’s J.C. Penny on Saturday. I heard a woman calling someone’s name. Probably walked right by you (LOL).
@DarkBrown ~ You’re dating the “rep” because he’s too insecure to show his true self. His “true” self is not as marketable as his rep.
W8©
August 12th, 2009
1:50 pm
@Ared- I think i need to call my momma and my sister..lol
AmazonRed™
August 12th, 2009
1:51 pm
W8 that ain’t no worse that my babe brother making water balloons out of condoms.
I think W8’s is worse cuz his momma still had to use that diaphram. At least the water ballon condoms weren’t used again.
AmazonRed™
August 12th, 2009
1:54 pm
@Ared- I think i need to call my momma and my sister..lol
*falling out*
Raqi
August 12th, 2009
1:54 pm
cuz his momma still had to use that diaphram
Not me, I would have burned that thing.
You know when I was dating I was well aware of how kids will snoop where they aren’t supposed to, especially little boys so I kept stuff locked up and away.
W8©
August 12th, 2009
1:54 pm
@Ared- I dont think she used it anymore after she caught me playing with it. lol Somehow I figured out that I could pour my moms perfume on my hot wheels light them on fire and the fire would go out once the perfume burned off….lmao…boy I got my azz whooped..when I almost used her whole bottle of Chanel No. 5 and burned some of the carpet…man I cant wait for my son to start getting in trouble…the things that boys do…lmao
AmazonRed™
August 12th, 2009
1:57 pm
@Ared- I dont think she used it anymore after she caught me playing with it. lol
Girls get into trouble too. We used to wait til after my mom mopped the floor and then put our socks on and “ice skate” on it. My sister lost all her baby teeth early that way.
This big ottoman became a gymanastics vault. We tore that poor woman’s house up.
W8©
August 12th, 2009
2:00 pm
lol@Ared
W8©
August 12th, 2009
2:03 pm
lol brothers and myself sneaking girls into the house…my brother up under me stealing my clothes and changing back into his clothes once he got off the bus in the woods before he got home…
THE WORST was when the Atlanta Child murders were going on when they found a body near Niskey Lake then Redwine road then on the dead end of our street….man you talking about scared after school..we ran home from the bus stop and was scared as heck until Dad made it home…we all thought we were going to get killed
Grace
August 12th, 2009
2:04 pm
Ared I bet you had to pick out your switch plenty of time
W8©
August 12th, 2009
2:05 pm
growing up my lil sister were our biggest hater..she would cockblock and snitch to our parents and the girlfriends..until we started taking her to the 7-11 with us across from Nu Dimensions….
Raqi
August 12th, 2009
2:06 pm
The most I got into as a child was the kitchen. I started trying to cook at an early age. I burned up one of my dad’s favorite pots. I got a whipping for that. Moreso because I could have burned the house down.
My brother and I were devilish to my oldest brother. He would have to rake the leafs and put them in plastic bags. After he put the bags on the curb we would get them and jump on the bags eventually tearing them and scattering leaves all over the yard again.
Pretty Wings( The Sun is Still Shining)
August 12th, 2009
2:09 pm
Ladies – Have you ever had a man you love and the man you want to love?
The man you want to love is just unavalible and the man who loves you is good to you and deserves to be loved back.
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
August 12th, 2009
2:09 pm
THE WORST was when the Atlanta Child murders were going on when they found a body near Niskey Lake then Redwine road then on the dead end of our street….man you talking about scared after school..we ran home from the bus stop and was scared as heck until Dad made it home…we all thought we were going to get killed
W8 – Okay, you all too!!! I remember I missed the bus and had to wait on a later one and it was dark. I came home crying & said Mom & Dad didn’t care about me cause the child murderer could have gotten me! My mom told me to shut up & get ready for dinner!
AmazonRed™
August 12th, 2009
2:10 pm
Ared I bet you had to pick out your switch plenty of time
Grace – Dammit yes. Besides, I was the one who liked to take things apart and see how they worked.
Growing up in L.A. we didn’t have a yard. The lots are small. And when I was a pre-teen, we lived on the corner on a busy street. So we weren’t allowed to do much outside.
There was this ivy patch under the 2nd floor of our balcony. We used to jump from the balony into the ivy patch. It’s a wonder no one broke their neck!
Grace, I know you got some stories.
MR. Unknown
August 12th, 2009
2:12 pm
@amazonred “Girls get into trouble too” Its a big difference,, until you start throwing knives into the wall because you saw a magician doing it.. Or Taking a hammer, and beating an old school hot wheels car into your mothers kitchen floor, leaving a square shaped dent… Or having an evil older brother that double dogged dared you to jump off the highest tree in the neighborhood.. How did I get a whooping for something he did?.. Memories wow lol and if she knew about half the stuff we did man, Me and my brother would stll be missing..
AmazonRed™
August 12th, 2009
2:14 pm
Speaking of the records, my parents were in the radio industry so we had every LP you could imagine. We also had our own record player.
Until we tried to play DJ and took the needle and scratched the hell out of whatever record we put on there at the time. I think it was New Edition.
The needle broke off as well. 
Raqi
August 12th, 2009
2:14 pm
LMAO Ain’t nobody going to want to have kids after today.
See it is More than a baby. It’s every thing that comes with having them. Babies grow up and become hellions.
Kym-the magic number is 42
August 12th, 2009
2:16 pm
@Raqi which is why my magic number is 42.
AmazonRed™
August 12th, 2009
2:17 pm
@amazonred “Girls get into trouble too” Its a big difference,,
Just play along okay, this isn’t a competition. Girls do get into trouble and it is a difference, you guys are boys, we’re girls. Still doesn’t make the statement incorrect.
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
August 12th, 2009
2:17 pm
Pretty Wings – Sounds like the available man doesn’t light your fire. He DESERVES to be loved by someone that is really into him. Not someone that keeps him around just cause he’s NICE. You’re both be shortchanging yourselves.
Just my opinion though. I gotta chip on my shoulder about this very subject, so don’t mind me though!LOL!!
Raqi
August 12th, 2009
2:22 pm
We used to have Easter egg hunts at our house and one year a couple of eggs did not get found. But my brother found them like 4 months later. He threw one at me and missed. He threw the other one while I was trying to get in the house before he hit me. As soon as I opened the door that egg when flying pass me and right into a chair. The smell was awful. We both got in trouble for that one.
Poppa Grande
August 12th, 2009
2:22 pm
AR
Girls get into trouble too.
They sure do. Especially when they use their red nail polish on the family car in order to cover some scratches that their bike handlebars made.
W8©
August 12th, 2009
2:23 pm
read yall later
Pretty Wings( The Sun is Still Shining)
August 12th, 2009
2:23 pm
@Kimmie – Thanks it’s not me….. friend of mine
In all seriousness, I asked because sometimes dating is a vicious circle…..My Momma always said like who likes you, I think often times folks feelings get hurt when they don’t do just that!
Leggs
August 12th, 2009
2:23 pm
@kimmie ~ ‘I came home crying & said Mom & Dad didn’t care about me cause the child murderer could have gotten me! My mom told me to shut up & get ready for dinner!”
Raqi
August 12th, 2009
2:24 pm
Kym if you knew what I know you would go ahead and do it now. Trust me. LOL
Poppa Grande
August 12th, 2009
2:24 pm
Raqi
We used to have Easter egg hunts at our house and one year a couple of eggs did not get found.
As a kid, I remember us coming up three eggs short one Easter and three eggs over the next Easter. They were real eggs.
After that the grownups hid plastic eggs with candy in them.
Raqi
August 12th, 2009
2:25 pm
this isn’t a competition
Amazon, with boys it always is.
AmazonRed™
August 12th, 2009
2:27 pm
After he put the bags on the curb we would get them and jump on the bags eventually tearing them and scattering leaves all over the yard again.
I bet he was hot!
We terrorized my youngest sister. She ended up getting an imaginary friend for support.
Years later the two of them teamed up against me and they learned this language (that sounds a lot like pig latin) that I didn’t know. So they could talk about me and I didn’t know what they are speaking about.
Those heffas still use it from time to time to this day. I still don’t know how to decode it.
The middle one was the ringleader tho. She was the most daring, so she did the most stuff.
MR. Unknown
August 12th, 2009
2:28 pm
Lol, I hear you.. Amazon
Deeva4Life
August 12th, 2009
2:29 pm
@Kimmie, great response to Pretty Wings but I have another spin to piggyback off her original question; so what if the NICE guy has somebody in his life that is really into him but he’s not into her because he’s into you (per se)although you’re not into him like that? Is that a classic case of everybody wanting something/somebody they can’t have?
Great question Pretty Wings…I know someone in a very similar scenario.
AmazonRed™
August 12th, 2009
2:30 pm
Amazon, with boys it always is.
Raqi – I forget. There were only girls in our house.
Mr. Unknown, my parents would ship me to my grandparents during the summer where we had to interact with our boy cousins. They’d hit each other with 2×4s and stuff. We were like “boys are crazy!”
Poppa Grande
August 12th, 2009
2:30 pm
Raqi
After he put the bags on the curb we would get them and jump on the bags eventually tearing them and scattering leaves all over the yard again.
Y’all were just following the KLB (Kid Law Book).
W8
Yeah, that child murderer time was crazy. I couldn’t leave my yard, and I lived in between Hampton and Lovejoy. It was the Atlanta Missing & Murder Children NOT Hampton Missing and Murdered Children. They would only let me go over to my cousin’s house.
Kym-the magic number is 42
August 12th, 2009
2:34 pm
@Raqi you sound like my relatives and friends. My bookclub members have declared a mini war on my marriage thought process..again.Any time I am holding a baby(like my chunky new nephew) some remark looks good on you..yeah right.