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Textually Active

Spotted on Twitter: “Blackberries, iPhones and Twitter killed the dating world. R.I.P.” This statement coming from The Fly Guy himself, made me think, “How do we even manage to hook up in person anymore?!” I know a lot of us are way into technology and social networking, but is it becoming harder for you to strike a balance with old school dating?

You know, calling a person up, asking them out, going to pick them up, and enjoying the company with quality face to face time. Yeah, that’s old school dating! Today, we send evites, tweets, Facebook messages to set things up with friends and dates.

The younger guy (I still need a name for him) I am seeing is all about the text. It got to the point where I had to tell him what I was comfortable with on text, and what actually required a phone call.

We have so many ways to showcase our personalities these days: Facebook, Twitter, personal blogs, text messaging, instant messaging, or email. Whew, that’s a lot of typing at each other. How can you determine if a person is actually interested in you when they are using “text”, which doesn’t exactly scream big effort?

Are you seeing someone who spends more of their time typing at you then seeing you in person? Do you think that is genuine interest or boredom?

Guys, you aren’t really big on phones and chatting, do you prefer the texting to communicate because it is a compromise for you?

673 comments Add your comment

Kym-is sucker free!

August 7th, 2009
8:27 am

Good Morning All,

I don’t mind the text setting time and location arrangements. But it is hard as all get out to have a meaningful convo with a person via text..You want to ask some deeper level convo and you can’t get the voice inflections or facial expressions via text. I think if anything it more lazy than interest or boredom.

mytw♥tatas...My Life is Dark, but it's Lovely

August 7th, 2009
8:34 am

To any who are confused ~It comes across as the most minimal of efforts. And you need a cheat sheet to understand all the abbreviations nowadays, too.

Sittin’ in the lounge with the ladies waiting for the justifi…explanations of why everything less conversational than actual conversation seems to be preferred.

ImAPeach404

August 7th, 2009
8:44 am

@Diva – I have a name for your friend: Young Fun

…Morning all :)

Fulfilling Me

August 7th, 2009
8:48 am

Good Morning!

I don’t mind texting when its simple stuff like Kym mentioned, but I will not have a full fledge conversation with you. Pick up the phone and call! Also, things can get misconstrued over text, so its better to just say what you want via phone or person and save the cute and simple stuff for text.

Pretty Wings (Feeling So Naughty Today)

August 7th, 2009
8:48 am

Happy Friday!!!!!!!!!!
Txting works for me, it’s actually a great intro to a date if the right messages are sent :P

Make it a great day!

@WD call him 007 unless he is more like 99 ! lol

Pretty Wings (Feeling So Naughty Today)

August 7th, 2009
8:56 am

Enter your comments here

Mrs. (AmazonR)Ed Hartwell™

August 7th, 2009
9:04 am

Happy Friday All. Whew.

Yes, I’ve noticed that some of my friends have taken to reaching out to me on Facebook rather any other media. I still prefer email. If you’re telling me to order a bridesmaid dress, I’d rather a forum that will still be around even if the social networking site is not.

And in terms of guys, I do let them know I’m not the text type of girl while still getting to know you. I’ve heard all the excuses “I’m not a phone person, etc.” Well, good for you. However, if you wanna get to know me, you’ll have to learn the art of conversation. Sure, we can do it over coffee, drinks, or dinner, but you might as well only spend your night and weekend minutes as we learn about one another.

Raqi...give it to me right, Or don't give it to me at all

August 7th, 2009
9:10 am

Haha…hahahaha…snickering. (I am literally blushingly laughing)

Anyhoo,

I think that excessive texting and emails are quite impersonal and yes are killing the beauty and intimacy of old school dating and courtships.

The one thing I hate about texting and emails, the interpretation is left up to the one reading it. I have seen and heard of more than a few situations where something via technology was misinterpreted therefore creating a technodrama situation.

Beyond that fact of face to face communication creating a personal connection and bond, body language, facial expressions and voice tone speaks the truth.

And lawd the time it takes to type something compared to the time it takes to actually speak it just makes trying to have a conversation via text just seem, like a waste of my valuable time.

Raqi...give it to me right, Or don't give it to me at all

August 7th, 2009
9:12 am

WiseDiva let the blog vote on what you should call him.

My suggestion: Roger Rabbit

ImAPeach404

August 7th, 2009
9:12 am

LMAO @ your name, AR. Where did she find him??? Dang…

Raqi...give it to me right, Or don't give it to me at all

August 7th, 2009
9:14 am

And you need a cheat sheet to understand all the abbreviations nowadays, too.

TwoLincolns ain’t that the truth. Heck learning French was easier.

For Real

August 7th, 2009
9:15 am

I agree with the rest I’m not having a convo with you via text. I email alot while I’m working cause I am always on the dayum phone but I digress.

Oh and Wise I vote to call him Lamonte (the e is silent)

Mrs. (AmazonR)Ed Hartwell™

August 7th, 2009
9:17 am

Where did she find him??? Dang…

Peach – I’m not sure. But she did put the vapors on him! They married after like a month of knowing each other. He’s 31, she’s 38…

She knows what she’s doing. I can’t even hate! :lol:

MR. Unknown

August 7th, 2009
9:17 am

What kind of phone service do you have that wouldn’t allow texting.. After explaining that I can receive a msg, I just chose to communicate in other ways. I grew up in the era of the pager, leave your phone number with 911 or 69 at the end.. That was my texting.. All this new stuff is lame for grown azz adults.. If I hear another 30yr old and over person talking about twitter, I will turn into hulk.. Example: “Im taking a do do” SEND… I will text simple thing only, like hi, good morning, have a great day, thinking of you.. Nothing more than that..

anonymousella

August 7th, 2009
9:17 am

heh heh … wise, as you know, my relationship started electronically. we met face-to-face a few years ago, and have seen each other once-a-year since. but our whole relationship developed because of blogging and social networking sites. in fact, before we started dating, we had talked on the phone for maybe 7 minutes total in three years. it took another two months after we became a couple before we actually talked on the phone to say more than “where you at?”

that said, i agree that txting is a bad way to get to know someone. though, to be honest, i mind it far less now that i have upgraded to a phone with a keypad. that T9 s**t is so not the business when somebody wants to treat txting like instant messaging. i’m not trying to sprain a thumb because you are too effin’ lazy to dial a number and engage in a conversation … lol.

mytw♥tatas...My Life is Dark, but it's Lovely

August 7th, 2009
9:21 am

PROF. Lil flirty msgs are sweet n fun as preelude to a date. But they can also easily lead to Text Sex, which ain’t a bad thang at all if you’re already ‘there.’ But I think text somehow makes some dude feel they can escalate the momentum and slip a lil sumthin extra in befoe it’s time. Literally & figuratively.

Mrs. (AmazonR)Ed Hartwell™

August 7th, 2009
9:21 am

I’ve overheard at many a happy hour “so, do you have Facebook/Twitter?” :lol:

I’m on Facebook. They guys I date are on Facebook, but the last thing I want to do as I’m getting to know someone is add them as a “friend.” It completely spoils the getting to know you part. And it a recipe in misinterpretation once you see something you don’t like posted on someone’s wall.

The Real Rell - looking to get pink eye this weekend

August 7th, 2009
9:25 am

OOO the big bad blog filter does not like c ock….lol

i will text lite flirty messages only….i am on a 5txt limit then its pick up the phone time for me….

wise my vote for your dude is dexter saint c ock

Page1908

August 7th, 2009
9:26 am

LOL @ Mr.Unknown and the pager with leave your number with 911 or 69 at the end! lmao. Ok, I am with you on this. Texting I don’t mind, but some of this new technology stuff is way beyond out of hand. There is a dude on my FB friends list that “must” change his status like 100 times a day it seems like. There is also another girl who does. To me, that’s too much! I’m sorry! Like the girl who does it, like very hour she is posting something like “this watermelon is the bomb” or “getting ready to take a shower”. I mean, GTFOH!! And the way both of them type is SO annoying! Like the dude: “man, on da way 2 da hse to get dis and dat cuz u kno u at da crib lqqn fo da likka sto to get at deez hoez”. Seriously!! Now, Twitter….I just can’t get with that at all!

Raqi...give it to me right, Or don't give it to me at all

August 7th, 2009
9:27 am

and have seen each other once-a-year since.

anon Seriously?!?!?! Wow.

ImAPeach404

August 7th, 2009
9:29 am

@AR – And before him, she pulled Keith Sweat. If he’s anything like his music, I know he was in the business of wooing (isn’t her maiden name Wu…). I ain’t mad either – I’m happy to see a black woman with a good black man!

Oh, I guess I’ll say something about the topic – I don’t mind texting b/c I hate talking on the phone. However, it urks me when I call someone, they don’t answer but turn right around and send you a txt. I understand they may be in a situation which prevents them from talking, but I’d rather they just wait until they are able to talk to contact me. That is all…

The Real Rell - looking to get pink eye this weekend

August 7th, 2009
9:31 am

@peach404…do you want to help get pinkeye…lol…whats your phone namber…lol

QC-Love the one your with; or leave them Alone!

August 7th, 2009
9:31 am

Morning Bloggers; i’m into texting but i’m will not have a full conversation doing it. Have a great day everyone :)

Raqi...give it to me right, Or don't give it to me at all

August 7th, 2009
9:32 am

lite flirty messages

Yeah that’s cool. Texting is ideal to send a playful flirty greeting just because in the middle of the day when that special someone crosses your mind. It’s sorta a “I’m thinking about you” type of notification. However it’s not to be abused. Overuse kills the high energy that you get when receiving or sending one.

QC-Love the one your with; or leave them Alone!

August 7th, 2009
9:32 am

LOL@Relly Rell – what’s your phone namber…

QC-Love the one your with; or leave them Alone!

August 7th, 2009
9:32 am

Now i do enjoy FLIRT TEXTING ;)

Fulfilling Me

August 7th, 2009
9:34 am

@Imapeach404

That ticks me off to no end. Then I have folks who call when I don’t respond to the text…the promptly get sent to voicemail

Raqi...give it to me right, Or don't give it to me at all

August 7th, 2009
9:34 am

Overuse of texting would be like receiving flowers from my husband everyday. It becomes somewhat less special.

Mrs. (AmazonR)Ed Hartwell™

August 7th, 2009
9:34 am

@AR – And before him, she pulled Keith Sweat.

:lol: Okay. She’s a pro.

Her pulling a pro athlete was pretty impressive though. It’s reported that her relationship with Keith was abusive, but she’s the one who lost custody of their two boys.

That might give another man pause, but she got that man to marry her after a month.

I’m just saying “nicely done, Lisa!”

Page1908

August 7th, 2009
9:34 am

Oh yeah, I saw the dude on Wed night at my friends party and he was like “sooo, wassup wit u…you don’t update your status hardly ever”. I was like “huh, what? what status?” and he was like “you know, your status”. I was like “I don’t have a status”. he was like “not your relationship status, your facebook status” and I was like “what! what status do i need to update?” and he was like “well, i always update my status..like i updated my status to say i was coming here to the party” and I was like “ummm omg” *blank look on my face*.

So, anyway throughout the course of the night every time i see dude, he is on his phone updating his status. So to me, i’m thinking “ok, here this guy is out at a restaraunt with good music, food, and plenty of attractive women…and every 2 seconds he is changing his FB status instead of mingling and being social here…wtf…why even go out if all you are gonna do is be obsessive like that changing your status”!

Plus, this dude has no personality whatsoever i realized. I mean, why would he rather be on his phone doing whatever vs talking to the people in real life who are there in person? smdh.

Professor

August 7th, 2009
9:34 am

Morning!

Whew! I will say this I am not into the convo going on via text, unless there are some dire reasons for that mode of communications (I feel it is the bottom feeder of convo). I don’t mind a thinking of you or some nice naughty messages, but please if you just met me make and effort, and if I am your woman keep making the effort. I just feel that it is some low-budget-title-pawn game trying to be passed off as a NY Strip.

I am with you Ared I do prefer emails that is cool, but my thing is lets be human beings and talk, laugh, touch each other and really see what is there…don’t hide behind a keypad unless you are hiding something.

I will leave you all with this one Sunday Bishop mentioned that you know the text not the person, because a lot of folks are forwarding those messages to everyone on the rooster.

ImAPeach404

August 7th, 2009
9:36 am

And it a recipe in misinterpretation once you see something you don’t like posted on someone’s wall.

*sigh* I can already see this coming. My new fren-fren is on FB and I have some friends who, I know, were being silly with some comments on my status msg. I foresee these comments being a topic of discussion once he looks at my page today. And I know he will…

Lol @ Mr.Unknown

@Page – if your FB friend is typing like that from a computer, his a$$ is just plain lazy! If ya boy got a full keyboard and feels the need to type like that, delete him! And I agree, I totally don’t get Twitter…

Melo

August 7th, 2009
9:38 am

WiseDiva let the blog vote on what you should call him

I second!
My preferred name: Lil’ rabbit ! :lol: :lol:

W8©

August 7th, 2009
9:39 am

Hmmm I am slowly getting out of text and more into voice as my life is becoming a little less hectic. I have tried talking on the phone more but it takes a lot of effort. But in my defense a lot of times women talk about stuff that guys generally aren’t interested in…lmao..or it’s easier for her to read what you are trying to say rather than listen…lmao

The Real Rell - looking to get pink eye this weekend

August 7th, 2009
9:40 am

@mr unknown…i remember telling chicks when you page me leave “304″…lol..i pulled that off for years…i mean years…lol

Leggs

August 7th, 2009
9:41 am

Good morning everyone!

Texting is too impersonal for me. “Touchbase” texting is fine, but it’s entirely too much work to carry on a full fledged conversation. One should always pick up the phone and carry on a conversation that requires 2 or more sentences. I still like to hear the inflection, deep sighs, etc in a person’s voice while talking.

Mrs. (AmazonR)Ed Hartwell™

August 7th, 2009
9:43 am

I am with you Ared I do prefer emails that is cool, but my thing is lets be human beings and talk, laugh, touch each other and really see what is there…

Professor – Just to clarify, I prefer emails when my friends need to contact me for something. I’ve started hearing “you didn’t respond to my message.” I check my email all the time. And then they say “I sent it to you on FB.”

:| Don’t do that.

I still prefer interaction face to face, but a lot of my friends live out of state.

W8©

August 7th, 2009
9:43 am

….one of my friends called me on it..”Hey, what you doing calling so much? I thought you didn’t like talking on the phone” I was like ummmm I dont…LMAO

Grace

August 7th, 2009
9:44 am

I’m not into texting, I can’t relate to it and all the lingo’s are way too much for me to remember, the time it takes for me to type a message I could easily pick up the phone and call which would be more personal and less confusion. I agree it’s good for quick messages. My daughter, bless her heart went well over her 1000 minutes of texting a couple of times so I finally got her on the unlimited plan. I don’t twitter, Facebook, I use it to keep intouch with family memebers.

ImAPeach404

August 7th, 2009
9:44 am

I swear Rell, I don’t know WHAT you are talking about half the time, lol. If you ask for my # one mo gin…

Dang AR,lost the kids? Was SHE abusing HIM??? One month eh? Wow… she’s my hero.

@Page – maybe ole boy at the party was trying to make some chick he’s connected with on FB jealous. Or maybe he was a loser in HS and he’s reconnected with folks he knew then and now he wants them to know he lives the life and parties…??? Regardless tho, it’s dopey.

Melo

August 7th, 2009
9:45 am

Like the dude: “man, on da way 2 da hse to get dis and dat cuz u kno u at da crib lqqn fo da likka sto to get at deez hoez”

Page??? is that guy ur relative????
If not,time to ghost that profile,unless u like that kinda of company.

Page1908

August 7th, 2009
9:45 am

LOL Peach404- Girl, I asked the girl who types like that on FB why she did that because one day her status said something, but what really stood out was that she used “lqqn” instead of the correct word “looking”. OMG that annoyed me, so I asked her about it and she went off! LOL. She was like “excuse me, i didn’t know I needed to use spell-check to be on Facebook and i wrote it like that because that is the way i like to write it”! I was like “wow”. smdh. I mean, i still don’t understand how “lqqn” replaces “looking”! So, I just let it go. LOL.

Raqi...give it to me right, Or don't give it to me at all

August 7th, 2009
9:46 am

slowly getting out of text and more into voice as my life is becoming a little less hectic.

Weight it’s funny that you say that because I am the total opposite. I only take the time to text when I am not busy. Texting take more time than it takes to make a phone call so if I am super busy and it’s very hectic I pick up the phone say what I have to say. It’s quicker.

Demi (Proud Black Republican...Now tell your government to keep its filthy hands off my Medicare!!)

August 7th, 2009
9:46 am

I am getting better with texting…I only do three page worth at a time and I am down to only 2k text messages a month.

Hey…QC/404…strippa chest bounce to you…Page.

For Real…I demand a rematch in pool…you spent waaaaaay to much time macking on the phone!!

Mrs. (AmazonR)Ed Hartwell™

August 7th, 2009
9:47 am

*sigh* I can already see this coming. My new fren-fren is on FB and I have some friends who, I know, were being silly with some comments on my status msg. I foresee these comments being a topic of discussion once he looks at my page today. And I know he will…

Aw Peach… :lol:

Yes, my ex (Beau) deleted me as a friend once he saw I went out with someone else on Valentines Day. Oh well! Not to mention that one of my friends was being silly and announced on my wall that he was moving to GA to be with me and start our love affair.

It’s natural that as you progress in a relationship, any other “interested” parties will be dismissed. But during that transition if you see the wrong thing, it just creates drama.

Professor

August 7th, 2009
9:48 am

@Fulfilling *** misconstrued over text*** great point! I always mix stuff up when reading a text especially if I am at work (I have a demanding job)…so I can miss something. I had an associate send me a deep text about some changes in his life I sent him a quick note because I thought that was a convo for telephone or in-person…I guess I was the only person realizing that you should not reduce God to a text message, but that is solely my opinion.

@Pretty Wings I like 007

I think I mentioned on here before that I am the Princess of stationary and colorful pens…I love to drop a note off via snail mail from time to time…I did it this morning, and those are always well received. It is nice to get the personal touch sometimes and I always try to extend it…

Oh I will say this I have seen the naughty text messages used to try to get in the thongs early, which leads to me declining the offer…turn off = lame game.

Demi (Proud Black Republican...Now tell your government to keep its filthy hands off my Medicare!!)

August 7th, 2009
9:48 am

And Page…that’s why I do not text any of my cousins below 17…I be like…WTF?! Dude!!

W8©

August 7th, 2009
9:49 am

I just got into the Facebook thing…I used to just let my daughter run my account because I never cared to get into it or learn it….lol Staceye had to tell me to get hip on facebook and everyone is doing it so she set up me a new page etc gave me the rundown..now I am ready to “facebook” I had to change my passwords and stuff after she set it up though..Alot of old friends from HighSchool and college…it’s pretty cool…I refuse to get into “twitter” though…I am just not that important for people to know my every move…

Page1908

August 7th, 2009
9:49 am

LOL Peach404- Yeah, your 9:44 just may be right. Lmao When I asked him why he typed like that he was like “well, maybe you just don’t understand the way i talk….I’m not from Cali like you are”. I was like OMG WTF does where I’m from have to do with anything? gtfoh.

Melo- Hellz no, this dude is a friend of my friend lol.

Mrs. (AmazonR)Ed Hartwell™

August 7th, 2009
9:49 am

Dang AR,lost the kids? Was SHE abusing HIM??? One month eh? Wow… she’s my hero.

:lol: Peach, I’m telling you, she should teach a class. Did you see the episode last season when she got sick and Ed made her chicken soup from scratch?

But yeah, I’m not sure why Keith has custody, but she’s gone on record as calling him an abuser so she had to have done something really wrong to lose her kids. Keith will not allow them on the show in any way.